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A Hands-On Zune Review
jayintune writes "2old2play.com got the chance to sit down with Microsoft's new media player, the Zune, to give some comments and insight into the players User Interface, Video Playback, Music Sharing, as well as software and setup." From the article: "I had expected the player to be fairly heavy, but after holding the Zune in my hand it was clear that I was wrong. It is not as light as the latest video iPod, but compared to my fourth-generation iPod, the Zune was lighter. The top of the Zune had a clear glass layer while the exterior had a tactile feel to it, nothing like the hard metal and plastic of the iPod devices. The 'skin' of the Zune was a 'rubberized' material that had a smooth seductive feel to it. I found myself unable to stop stroking the device, so much that the demo assistant asked me to put it down."
Um... Yeah. looks a news headlines, again. OK... maybe the author just having a little fun with the reader.
Clicking on the "community" button allowed me to see the other two Zunes nearby. I decided to send them my community member a song. Browsed to my music folder, found to a song and, instead of selecting to play it, I chose to send it. Prompted with a list of Zune's nearby, I chose one and sent it. Watching the other Zune, the user was prompted to download and accepted the request. It took less than 20 seconds to send the whole song which included album art.
Sounds lengthy, but if you're trying to chat up a hot prospect 20 seconds is plenty of time to break the ice.
Upon a successful transfer, the music is wrapped with a digital rights management (DRM) layer which will give the user a three day or three-listen license. I don't know about many of our readers, but I can listen to a song over and over again. Three plays... please!
DRM(!) huhhhhh HUUHHHHH huhhhhh HUUHHHHH Welcome to the dark side I wonder if there's something which allows you to add it to a wishlist to buy later if you decide you like it.
Yes, it is a first-generation product but I really like the direction Microsoft is taking with the Zune.
Clearly the reviewer is happy with DRM. Only one model, Hmm.. So when's the Zune Femto coming out?
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Let me go ahead and burn karma to get this out of the way:
... am I forgetting anything?
He's lying! He's a paid Microsoft shill! There's no way that it's as good as he says! It must be rigged! It's probably the new iPod and he thought it was a MS product! He's brainwashed by the DRM! It doesn't run Linux!
Hold on just one sec. I need 5 minutes in the bathroom after reading that Slashdot story.
Of course, I'm imagining that the submitter is, um, not your typical Slashdotter.
"If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid." - Epictetus
Anyone who makes a statement like that in a review has obviously made their mind up about the device (they WILL love it) before they even saw it. Though I may be wrong, I cant read the article at work to see if he panned it or not.
I say this because I know that I will be stroking my Wii on Nov 19th. Dont try to hide your feelings from your readers if you are reviewing something, some people actually take reviews seriously.
I haven't RTFA, but I'll be damned if I'm going to after that little choice excerpt--this stuff reads like B-rate pr0n narrative!
I left my wallet in El Sigundo!
However many glowing reviews it gets I'm still not buying one. I don't even want an ipod and see them as overhyped too! What is the matter with people? Can't they just learn the value of thinking or conversations with complete strangers on long journeys instead of having to be listening to music or chattering on their mobile?
Video Game cheats, hints a
Microsoft's traditional marketing isn't working well.
y =zune_meme_rerun
Gee? What other ploys can Microsoft try?
Unfortunately, the mental bandwidth already belongs to iPod, it will be hard to dislodge them in favor of Zune.
http://www.realmeme.com/roller/page/realmeme?entr
Too bad about the drm restrictions.
That wipes out any good it has.
Wont be buying one.
2 articles; hmm first ditch the Apple iPhone and than stroke the Zune .. something smells fishy here :-)
I think he was told to put it down because it was about to squirt.
What If Microsoft Made A Media Player And No One Cared?
# cat
Damn, my RAM is full of llamas.
The 'skin' of the Zune was a 'rubberized' material that had a smooth seductive feel to it.
Yeah, I remember reading somewhere that Microsoft contracted out to the RealDoll company for that part.
The theory of relativity doesn't work right in Arkansas.
What is the matter with people? Can't they just learn the value of thinking or conversations with complete strangers on long journeys instead of having to be listening to music
What's the matter with people, can't we just go to work without some stranger harassing us in the bus?
iPod or no, walkman or not, I've never seen anyone in the bus or the subway start a conversation with a stranger who wasn't politely trying to end the conversation as fast as possible.
Besidses, some of us can listen to music AND think at the same time. Heck, I can even chew gum and walk on top of that!
You can't take the sky from me...
I think they forgot to mention it took the guy 5 minutes to figure out that the round metal end does not go in his ear.
so the 3day/3play restriction didn't bother him. I'm wondering what happens if you try to share an mp3. Since it has no drm built-in will it convert on the fly? Are users forced to convert to .wma before transfer to the Zune anyway? Or will it simply refuse to share a non-drm'd file?
That's the kind of thing I like answered in a review...
Zune sounds very much like ziyun which is a Hebrew curse word for f***.
I'll wait until my Zune automatically recieves audio and video ads from stores I enter. Nothing like walking into a Walmart to have my Zune download an add on it's own which then starts to play through my headphones. I can't wait.
That's pretty much the only function I can think of for something like this. The cheatastic options are limitless.
At the bottom of the article, it says to DIGG IT Yeah, A FUCKING GRAVE!!! So much for PaysForSure, $1000000 says when you plug it into a Vista box the UAC blocks it
All Zune colors were present, brown, white (or off-white) and black. The brown design was by far my favorite color of the three.
Brown is the new white apparently.
Cwm, fjord-bank glyphs vext quiz
Who wrote that article? Borat?
[i]I decided to send them my community member a song. Browsed to my music folder, found to a song and, instead of selecting to play it, I chose to send it.[/i]
That was to a worst two a sentences I ever look, I choose to read.
"Things are more moderner than before- bigger, and yet smaller- it's computers-- San Dimas High School football RULES!"
o/^ It's the new Zune review, coming right at you! o/^
Sorry, just had a flashback...
And the iPod is pretty guldurn brainless, aint it? I mean there are some weird things about the interface and how it works with Window, but all in all ok. If Zune is even the slightest bit harder to use or the slightest bit less seamless then I'm afraid most people will abandon it. Even with the iPod all those PDA like functions - I know anyone who uses them, it's too hard to use. But the real iPod media functions are very simple. If I had to relearn a new UI one that was even a little bit clunkier then I would quickly go back to my iPod.
How long until someone is arrested for public indecency with the Zune for sharing porn with unsuspecting bystanders who download it in curiosity. How disturbing will it be when you accept a random picture from someone on the subway, and find out it's a picture of the old guy in the seat across from you exposing himself? I suspect that this will likely happen within weeks of the Zune hitting the mass market.
//Can't wait for the news article.
(Ooops, sorry, thought I was on Fark)
Must be Microsoft hired PR firm planting all these stories here...
What's the big deal with cover art and screen savers on music players and phones? Do people honestly watch a screen saver for more than 5 seconds before sticking the gizmo in their pocket? Do people actually look at (or care about) cover art? I've always just picked a playlist, hit "play" and put the device back in my pocket. Cover art I view on my PC, but not the music player.
Same goes for all the hype around the interface? I found the best interface is to create a few playlists on the PC -- which has a real screen and a keyboard -- and move them over. Then, all I really do is pick a playlist which maybe takes 5 seconds in almost any interface. The only other controls I use are volume and stop.
Do people actually spend that much time fucking around with a music player? Isn't is supposed to like, play music? Or is it a form of entertainment unto itself?
Learning HOW to think is more important than learning WHAT to think.
The quote in the summary sounds like the beginning of those first-person porn stories you find in Hustler.
Welll, not necessarily YOU, the reader, but a generalized statement that one could, if one were so inclined, find such lurid tales in the pages of magazines such as Hustler. But one is not necessarily you. Although, you may be one and not even know it.
But that's besides the point. The quote in the summary sounds like the beginning of those first-person porn stories you find in Hustler.
I personally think the Zune line has a promising outlook, I had long been a fan of the Apple i-pod, but I am looking for alternatives and the Zune has caught my eye. I wonder if the Zune will likely be hacked so that song sharing will be DRM and restriction free? I know that most college students at least around my area simply buy CDs and rip them, or use P2P services, making the i-pod to Zune transition a very easy one. If interfaced with the X-box 360 in future models, the Zune could fly off the shelves, especially if they allow X-box arcade games to be loaded onto certain models. The fact that it currently doesn't have this feature doesn't mean a simple software update can't change that. I actually plan to buy a Zune unless I find out that Apple has an answer besides a new color.
I had expected the player to be fairly heavy, but after holding the Zune in my hand it was clear that I was wrong.
I could sense it somehow, as if the pully-downey force that makes things fall and me very tired was not affecting the Zune as not much as I expected it not too.
It is not as light as the latest video iPod, but compared to my fourth-generation iPod, the Zune was lighter.
Ah ha, thought I. As I go back generations of media player, things get heavier. It was also a tad lighter than a 1952 Bendix steam powered black and white television console, thus adding weight (pun intended!!) to my theory. I plan to compare the Zune to a four ton heiroglyphic slab in Luxor, Egypt when I get the chance.
The top of the Zune had a clear glass layer while the exterior had a tactile feel to it,
Tactile. Definition: Perceptible to the sense of touch; tangible. So, yes, the Zune did in fact exist as far as my sensory apparatty and perceptualtudeness could determine.
The 'skin' of the Zune was a 'rubberized' material that had a smooth seductive feel to it. I found myself unable to stop stroking the device, so much that the demo assistant asked me to put it down."
He then called the police who took me downtown to a jail cell, and that's where I'm writing thie review now.
When I meet a girl in a bar, unless it was the starting subject, talk about music is usually scraping near the bottom of the conversation barrel. Even if music is an important subject, what are the odds that said girl will have dumped her $300 Ipod for a Zune and will be able to recieve your music?
Right on, but it's worse than that. If you do ever meet some kind of rare recorded music groupie, is there any chance in hell they would be impressed by "sharing" a song three times? Like Jobs said, it's much more fun to stick your headphone in her ear.
Where do you meet people who want to trade music anyway!?
Class, work, family reunions, anywhere people meet regularly. In that case, anyone who really cares to share or trade is going to haul their laptop, USB disk or non crippled music player. These people are the music industry's best customers, because having something to share brings prestige and CDs are good hard copy backups.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
He's a paid Microsoft shill! There's no way that it's as good as he says!
All true, and the marketer was so ashamed of what he wrote it as anonymous. Stroking the brown turd with disappearing songs, the absolute humiliation of such statements will haunt their dreams for years to come. In short, the article is one of the biggest AC trolls ever.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
I haven't RTFA, but I'll be damned if I'm going to after that little choice excerpt
Good for you, it gets worse.
That stroking bit, and the brown color ... I imagined someone fondling a turd under the watchful eye of the "assistant". Because the author is "anonymous", I imagine the whole thing was made up by some M$ PR firm to begin with. Here's a transcript of the contract negotiations:
Balmer I don't care what you say, just make it sexy. ...
PR Vole Yes, we have several concept that will appeal to our 23 predicted target markets. rambles on for a while
Balmer "Don't bore me with details, asshole, just give me the shit I'm paying for!"
PR Vole -New concept pops into mind- Grins and says, "It will be everything you asked for."
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
2old2play?!! can't stop stroking the zune?!! Eww!!!
I found myself unable to stop stroking the device ...
Wireless pr0n on-the-go, huh?
This is my post. There are many others like it. If you don't like what you read here, go try one of the others.
I was never able to finish my list I started on about a decade ago, "Top Ten Microsoft Products to Stick in your Ass."
MS Natural Keyboard, Like your favorite pair of Jeans. (rough quote of an actual ad)
MS Back Office, for your Back Orifice
I forget most of the rest, but with the new X-Box and Zune products, maybe it could be completed.
Anyway, as for iPod vs. Zune, Everquest used to have near total domination of the MMORPG market, then World of Warcraft happened. EQ didn't have to lose many users to be eclipsed by WoW. The consumer entertainment marketplace is very changable, just because Apple has a large share of the market does not mean the market as a whole can't grow.
"Don't forget that the entertainment industry is BUILT on selling people the same crap over and over again... this might just work. "Oh but it sounds"*
Uh, huh. So you're telling us that "Top Gun" on DVD was the "same crap" as on VHS? Who are you fooling? Certainly not anyone who's sighted, or has ears.
*BTW I expect the porn industry to collapse because according to you they're selling the "same crap over and over".
Here is a blurb from the frontpage of their website:
Yep, and they seem to be pretty good at it too
Wow, are all these players part of the same band, or are they separate groups? They sure have odd names.
Oh, nevermind, I see that your apostrophe key is apparently broken.
Toshiba is also giving away Free Ear Buds and Covers along with the Zune. Car Charger and Sync Cable are expected to be provided by Taiwanese giant, FoxConn. Flextronics expected to provide AV Cable. AsKey will provide all the IR and FM parts.
Um, does the Zune play porn?
...is that what you kids are calling it nowadays?
Good god, who was your demo assistant, Paris Hilton? Go get a hotel room with your Zune and see if you can knock it up.
Before moderating this as flaimbait, lets take a serious look at 20 years of history.
Microsoft at every advantage has used marketing stategies that would give Machiavelli himself a boner. Even were the Zune technologically superior please remember that Microsoft's strategy is not to provide superior products at competitive prices -- it's to inject themselves into every revenue stream at any expense. Their strategy is more long term, lets cut end this now before its too late.
I strongly beg my fellow slashdotters -- that they use their pocketbooks to speak their conscience. Send Microsoft back to the drawing board and show them that all the evil deeds of the past cannot buy our hearts and minds.
It's true no man is an island, but if you take a bunch of dead guys and tie 'em together, they make a good raft.
"I found myself unable to stop stroking the device, so much that the demo assistant asked me to put it down."
"My Precious..."
You must throw it back from whence it came! You must destroy it in the fires of Mount Doom!
...or did he at no point talk about the sound quality of the device?
I mean, maybe it's just me... but if I was going to spend a chunk of money on a portable audio device, I'd be more concerned about the audio quality than "gamertags".
Kneel before Sig!
I have read so many conflicting reports on how the DRM is applied, is it wrapped around the files themselves, or does the Zune itself prevent any community recieved track being played more than three times/three days?
I'm sure I'm going to get flamed for this.
While I hate any type of DRM on something I buy and agree that for the most part DRM only affects the person who buys legitamately, providing that the files themselves aren't altered on the transmitting Zune I can't really see what a lot of the fuss is about. Surely the functionality of sharing files to "try them out" allowing three plays would fall under the umbrella of fair use because you are only letting people hear what you think they would like to buy.
A thistle is a fat salad for an ass's mouth...
Reading through the comments here it seems that no-one has actually yet realised that the review is just a joke. Does it not strike anyone as slightly odd that rather than Microsoft inviting, say, c|net or some other vaguely reputable site to experience the device and produce a review, we have a semi-literate 12 year old trollilng for page views? Again, it's a joke...
:|
If this is what Slashdot has come to...
iqu
No matter how much you stroke it, it will always be Microsoft.
The whole thing about strangers sending you multimedia gives me the creeps. I'm assuming you have to accept the file first but until the novelty wears off (and it might take a while), people are going to accept random files from strangers 9 times out of 10. Maybe not /. readers, but "people" -- you know who I'm talking about.
Who's to say some deviant bastard isn't going to craft some sort of dormant malware and spread it across a bus station, restaurant, or campus in the future?
body massage!
Well, I thought it had WiFi... Perhaps not. If it has WiFi, or if it is were a phone, then you could do it. Sure, it would be tough to enter the cc#, but perhaps you could set that up from the PC and sync it to the phone (or perhaps the online media store has your info, and you just have signin info or some key stored on the device, and then when you want to buy something from the device, it could transmit the key and recieve the media over WiFi or Cell net. If it does not have WiFi or Cell, then you can not get the music from the device.
Oops. That IS the problem!
Marketing, maybe?
So your steaming pile of comments is all it takes to get a +5 insightful? What exactly was insightful about it? Or does "HOLY SHIT I TOTALLY AGREE BECAUSE I'M A BRAINWASHED TOOL" suddenly equal insight around here?
Why are so many posts with factual errors modded up?
possible implimentations..
I'd like to see Microsoft create hotpots in selected areas of major cities that constantly send out certain tunes to promote the bands. They could put the broadcasting box on major streetcorners for people to download while at a red light (20 seconds to send a song is great!) or in starbucks, in major subway stations, etc...Or instead of Microsoft maybe even a third party company broadcasting volunteering bands' songs for them on the Zune frequency.
How 'bout third party software for your laptop computer to send and recieve songs as well? Or Microsoft implementing the feature into Windows Media Player?
Goatse man's video posted to your zune will hurt bad.
Zune: "Incoming video 'Madonna: Pop Trash Ate the Song Writer'; accept Y/N"
User: "Cool, huh, huh {Y}"
User: "Madonna's videos aren't what they used to be {retch}"
--
PS: Vune or Zideo??
It's really just a beefed-up Pocket PC or Ipaq or call it what you will. With the added speakers or whatever, oh and the tactile feel of course. But my 5-year-old HP Ipaq can do the pictures, the music, and the video at today's speed. The surprising thing is that they haven't done something like this on the music side before. MS late to the tech party once again? Missing out on the initial music player market counts as this decade's 'Microsoft Network'.
hmmmm. I thought there was something fishy about Poster "I'm Don Giovannis" post. Seemed to me that he was being a bit too much of a Microsoft fanboy for it to be credible. I just checked out his Slashdot user page and what do you know, nearly all of his posts are Microsoft related and in defence of the company. Look at his user details. I've copied the titles of the articles he's commented on below.
Based on his comments he seems to be quite technically savvy too so perhaps not just a PR flake but someone with more of a stake in the company... What are we dealing with here Don? What sort of a kickback are you getting to warrant you spending so much time and effort defending MS?
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