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The 10 Most Dangerous Toys of All Time

Ant writes "An article at the Radar lists the ten most dangerous toys of all time, those treasured playthings that drew blood, chewed digits, took out eyes, and, in one case, actually irradiated. To keep things interesting, the editors excluded BB guns, slingshots, throwing stars, and anything else actually intended to inflict harm." My favorite: 'Feed Me!' begged the packaging for 1996's Cabbage Patch Snacktime Kid. And much like the carnivorous Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors, the adorable lineup of Cabbage Patch snack-dolls appeared at first to be harmless. They merely wanted a nibble--a carrot perhaps, or maybe some yummy pudding. They would stop chewing when snack time was done -- they promised. Then they chomped your child's finger off."

404 comments

  1. ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by ILuvRamen · · Score: 0, Troll

    they actually made a radioactive energy kit FOR KIDS?! Why don't they just put "For ages 8 and up, especially terrorists" on it? They could build a dirty pipe bomb (radiation spreading) using just a couple of those kits probably. Btw I've injured myself with airsoft guns many times and I'm pretty careful and since you're actually shooting at other people with them unlike BB guns, airsoft guns should definitely be there instead.

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    1. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Kadin2048 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Oh, honestly. It's people like you that make it so that we can't have cool toys anymore.

      Have you looked in a chemistry set lately? They've taken all the fun stuff out. What fun is a chemistry set supposed to be when you don't even have any potassium nitrate? Lame.

      Now, you can't even get an alarm clock with radium dials on it anymore, because "oh noes, the terrorists will get it!" Well, let me tell you: if a kid can't play with radioactive materials in the privacy of his parents home anymore, the terrorists have already won.

      --
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    2. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by DDLKermit007 · · Score: 1

      You are so right! I remember when I had a chemistry set when I was younger it came with everything BUT chemicals. Yet it had all the directions on how to use the nasty stuff. WTF!?!?!? Least I had cool rents that generally got me what I wanted. Just had to promise not to burn the rug. Kids now don't even get that much. Dumb-ass gummy science kits are the rage. Stupidity abounds.

    3. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by QuoteMstr · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Do you realize that smoke detectors contain americium-241, which is radioactive? I doubt the minute radioactivity in the kit would have been more dangerous than, say, a dental X-ray. While some other toys on the list were genuine death (or finger-)traps, I think the inclusion of the inclusion of kit on the list is merely a result of confused paranoia.

    4. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Informative

      OH MY GOD! A kit with a tiny amount of... almost completely fucking inert U-238. As long as you don't, I don't know, lick your hands afterwards, it's even perfectly safe to handle with your bare hands.

      Are you completely ignorant about radiation or just retarded?

    5. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by arivanov · · Score: 5, Funny

      Bleah... Americanised list. Softy toys for softy boys all of them (except the darts)

      As far ast the U238 set, I would say that it was a safe toy compared to my "Junior Chemist" chemistry set which I got when I was 8. The thing had the lot - KMnO4, NaOH, NH3 solution, S, HCl and many other wonderfull things. In reasonable quantities and concentrations (where in solution). The floor of my room kept the scars from some successfull experiments for years to come.

      Same for the cannon - it is a joke compared to my neighbout T34 remote controlled battle tank (my parents bluntly refused to buy me one). That thing could shoot plastic rounds circa 5 mm in diameter and move. Both on remote control. Ideal toy for an eight year old and a six year old to chase the family cat. The only advantage the cat had was that the tank while remotely controlled had a manual reload so we had to fetch it after every shell to pull the reload lever. The fun continued until the cat found out that he should attack the person with the remote, not the tank. After that we called a truce.

      --
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    6. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by kfg · · Score: 3, Funny

      I've injured myself with airsoft guns many times and I'm pretty careful and since you're actually shooting at other people with them unlike BB guns

      Pussy.

      KFG

    7. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

      If you're wearing eye-protection the chances of anything more than trivial injuries from Airsoft guns is practically zero.

      At close range on bare flesh you can break the top layer of skin, but the damage under such circumstances from, say, a paintball impact is even worse.

      When I was a kid my friends and I use to use air-rifles the way kids now use Airsoft "weapons". Not a game went by without one of us having to have pellets extracted from subdermal layers!

      By comparison Airsoft is way safer. Unless you point one at a cop. Then all bets are off...

    8. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by pembo13 · · Score: 1

      You greatly overestimate the radiation levels.

      --
      "Thanks for all the money you paid to us. We've used it to buy off ISO among other things" -Microsoft
    9. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Sibko · · Score: 5, Insightful

      they actually made a radioactive energy kit FOR KIDS?! Why don't they just put "For ages 8 and up, especially terrorists" on it? They could build a dirty pipe bomb (radiation spreading) using just a couple of those kits probably.
      You've got to be kidding me. I think your brain shut off the second you heard nuclear and radiation. I am astounded that the first thing you think of when you see this isn't, "children might swallow the slightly radioactive material, and get sick from heavy metal poisoning." but, "terrorists are going to buy a whole bunch of these kits, and then use the marginally radioactive material to slightly irradiate people with a small pipe bomb! ZOMG!!11 TERRORIRST!!"
    10. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Loconut1389 · · Score: 3, Insightful

      But have a dental x-ray running in your room for a couple years and you might have a problem.

    11. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by SharpFang · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Excuse me, but each of these samples was likely far less irradiating than an average depleted uranium bullet. All the terrorists have to do is to pick american bullets shot all over their country, grind them to a powder and voila, a dirty-bomb irradiation material, many tons of it, for free. As opposed to 3 small samples which would likely have to be placed directly in contact with your skin for 5 years to increase risk of cancer, and totally useless for a dirty bomb, because the explosion would spread it so thinly that they wouldn't be stronger than background radiation.

      --
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    12. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by pimpimpim · · Score: 1
      The interesting thing about your post is that you probably ment it funny, but it's hard to be sure about it. Really sad that there are many people that are conditioned to think about it like this. Damnit people, that kit was from the cold war era, wasn't it? Why was no one afraid of communists buying those kits that time? Or did we get even more stupid since then.

      Furthermore, as a chemist I can tell you that everything is a potential danger, when applied in a certain way. Just mix all the stuff from your cleaning cabinet together. Or

      --
      molmod.com - computing tips from a molecular modeling
    13. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Spetiam · · Score: 1
    14. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Spetiam · · Score: 4, Interesting

      you may have already seen this, but fyi http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Hahn

    15. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by kfg · · Score: 1

      I can't tell you how many times I've been shot, intentionally, with a BB gun. No, literally, I can't.

      It's rather more than one, something less than a gross. Stings right good. Might even leave a mark. For a long time if you were one of the Indians (no shirt, that's how you could tell the Indians. We didn't have Native Americans. We had Apaches and Comanches; and one weirdo who thought it was cool to be a Blackfoot).

      Teaches you the first lesson of not being seen right quick.

      KFG

    16. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by raphae · · Score: 4, Funny

      Two of my favorite all-time toys were M80's and H100's (quarter stick of dynamite). Me and my friend would spend a whole day trying to see how high we could blast a coffee can into the air. At the time it seemed normal and fun. Now I look back and think about how no one in our suburban neighborhood seemed to care that we were methodically blowing stuff up all day long in various places.

      Another "toy" that was a fad: burning plastic. Yes, just the simple fun of watching pieces of plastic combust and form sizzling, bubbling, congealed masses dangling from the end of a stick. I remember my friend moronically started whizzing the stick around with the sizzling plastic dangling and some flew on his hand causing a blister.

      Buy maybe our ultimate crazy passtime required no toy whatsoever: one summer it was all the craze with the kids on our block to hyperventilate. All it took was one kid knowing how to do it and very quickly the "technique" was transmitted among all us kids as though it were some kind of esoteric rite, and we were all doing it. How fun to breathe heavily and then hold your breath and then suddenly wake up moments later after having lost consciousness.

      Oh yeah, I also remember the time in gradeschool when I "discovered" this really cool powder in a cabinet - if you left it on your skin it would cause it to become dark for a really long time (like a few days). It was silver nitrate.

    17. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by kfg · · Score: 1

      Might?

      Yeah, especially if you had to dig one out with a pocketknife. That might leave a mark for life.

      KFG

    18. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by janestarz · · Score: 3, Interesting

      The reason kids are now making 'Crofty-bombs' in our country might just be caused by a total lack of having any imagination, or because the chemistry sets just don't bang loudly enough any more. They're bored, don't know any nice fun things to do, so they blow up their classmates. With just some regular warm water, aluminum foil, and some sink unclogger (a nasty chemical in itself) in a small bottle, they blow up the weirdest things. Yesterday I heard on the news two kids of 14 and 15 blew their home-made bomb in the snout of a donkey.
      In the old days, they'd mix chemicals up at home. And injure themselves. Yeah, I can see why this is such great development...A great step forward for all of us.

    19. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by BakaHoushi · · Score: 5, Funny

      It's not just this. I remember a Christmas special a year or two ago called "Merry F***ing Christmas" or something along these lines that demonstrated the true purpose of Christmas:

      Natural selection through Christmas presents. Got a kid that was dumb enough to stick his hand in an EZ Bake oven? That one's a moron. Better try again! What about another boy who ducks when someone aims a BB gun in his direction? That's a keeper!

      The real terrorists aren't the ones with bombs strapped to their chests. They're in our law firms, preventing our children from blowing themselves to tiny bits with their "Actual Working Holy Hand Grenade" when they don't listen and count to 4. This is not what God intended. God gave us Jesus and Christmas and all that so we could kill off our dumbest kids and raise only the smartest.

      Let me tell you, the terrorists have already won, my friends. They won long ago...

    20. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Skinnybrown · · Score: 1

      If dental x-rays are so safe, then why do they give you a lead sheet to put over you balls, and why won't the dentist be in the same room as the machine whilst it runs? Also, would you give the radioactive part of a smoke alarm to a child to play with?

    21. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Interesting

      More than a decade ago I inherited a chemistry lab that was about 30 years old at that time, came in a beautiful wooden box and was essentially unused. About 1/3 of the chemicals found therein would not be included in todays chemistry sets due to their toxicity (including some carcinogens). Even back then, the bottle for benzene was left empty by the factory, but that was just because of the flammability, the users were to get there benzene at their local drugstore or chemist, according to a note inside the bottle.

    22. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by dargaud · · Score: 1

      During one of my first trip to the US I was absolutely astounded by the existence of BB guns. Almost as dangerous as a real one and for...kids ?!? The neighbor's kid (then 7 year old) would wander around without supervision shooting everything that moved: frogs, birds, large insects... I would have kicked the shit out of him when I first saw that if it was not for the fear of the parents, lawsuits and such crap (to say nothing of the fear of being shot myself). Absolutely insane. I learned a year later that he shot one of his friends in the eye. I guess that's how you build up a card carrying NRA member.

      --
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    23. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Marcion · · Score: 1

      Two words: parental supervision.

      If you leave an under 3 to play alone then you are asking for trouble.

    24. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by kfg · · Score: 1

      I would have kicked the shit out of him when I first saw that if it was not for the fear of the parents, lawsuits and such crap

      Well yes, for someone who is inherently violent, such as yourself, a BB gun might be something they shouldn't be allowed to handle. Thanks for being the reason cops need to exist. Thanks a fucking lot.

      I guess that's how you build up a card carrying NRA member.

      I'm a Zen Buddhist. I do have card envy though. We don't use them. I think it's because there are no documents pockets in the robes or something. Anyway, I'm told this is just my ego, but actually it's because that now that I've conquered my ego I could occasionally use something to remind me who I am. Like when asked by a cop. Most of them aren't Zen Buddhists and don't understand.

      Around here they also have real guns, which are certain leave a mark. I don't like guns.

      But it's still fun to plink tins cans now and again; a nice change from traditional, nonviolent Zen Buddhist pursuits, like armor piercing archery.

      KFG

    25. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      So how does that work exactly? Are you saying that ground up, heavy metal depleted uranium is going to hang around in the air? Or that it's going to irradiate the actual bomb material?

      Because it can't do either. DU is dangerous for all the same reasons lead is, nothing more sinister.

    26. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Andrew+Kismet · · Score: 1

      The radioactive part of a smoke alarm is in the presence of you and your family, every day of the year. Oh noes.
      The lead sheet over your balls is because YOUR BALLS ARE DAMN SENSITIVE TO THAT KIND OF THING, and dental X-rays are pretty focused and strong. The dentist leaves the room so 1. he can monitor the results and 2. to prevent being exposed to that kind of thing many times a day for multiple years.

      The radioactivity in the toy is still damn stupid, but the average inhabitant of Cornwall probably still gets more radioactivity.
      Look it up if you don't know that classic example.

    27. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Fred_A · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Isn't it more educational for them to blow themselves up than donkeys ? (not to mention beneficial to the gene pool) ?

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    28. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by udderly · · Score: 1

      So that's what they're called. We used to make those when we were kids in the 70s. Only we used granny's prescription bottles--which were made of glass--adding another layer of danger.

    29. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by zuiraM · · Score: 1

      You are aware that some people use the metal, not plastic, rounds for softguns, right? And that it's not entirely unpopular to increase the spring load or air pressure?

      I know people have shot things to shreds with modified guns and/or metal balls.

      Used properly, a softgun is fairly safe, but some people don't realize they can be dangerous at point blank range. Especially with metal rounds.

    30. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by udderly · · Score: 4, Funny

      True story:
      After begging and pleading with their parents for years, my friend Pete and his older brother finally got BB guns one Xmas.

      Of course, the first thing they did was go into their room and had a shootout. Pete's brother nailed him direct in the eyebrow over the left eye. Pete scraped the BB our of his eyebrow, at which point a little fountain of blood began flowing. Pete's first words were "I'm going tell!"

      Since they both knew that they would lose their precious armaments, negotiations ensued about how things could be amicably worked out. In the end, Pete settled out of court for the opportunity to shoot his brother in the ass three times.

    31. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Fred_A · · Score: 1
      Well yes, for someone who is inherently violent, such as yourself, a BB gun might be something they shouldn't be allowed to handle.
      For a cretinous kid who enjoys killing every animal in sight for the fun of it, a bb gun certainly isn't the kind of thing he ought to have been allowed to handle either from the look of things.

      I would have smacked a little sense in that kid too.

      Plinking cans is fine. Plinking frogs, birds and assorted critters for the hell of it isn't.
      --

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    32. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ... and as a science teacher who works in a school with no radioactive sources, I disassembled a smoke alarm to have a go with our geiger counter. The counter really does go berserk with the very small amount of Am 241 in there. Almost a pure alpha source it's not so dangerous from a distance, but the recent death of a former KGB agent by alpha radiation has put it into the public consciousness. It's a short step from that to a group systematically buying thousands of the things to put into a dirty bomb. Expensive yes, but the fear of the 'nuclear dirty bomb' headlines would surely be worth it?

      IANAT (I Am Not A Terrorist), but it's the first thing I'd think of if I were, and I'm suprised a group hasn't done it yet.

    33. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Fred_A · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Isn't propaganda a wonderful thing ?

      I too was wondering about the amount of heavy metals in the kit and the potential toxicity of it. Nowadays it's easy to make a very minute source, back then I'm not sure the implications were completely understood.

      Potentially, if done properly, it could be a very fun (and quite safe) toy though. Except that nobody would buy it because of the exact same reactions exhibited by the GP (ZOMG! nukular! terrorists! thinkofthechinldren!) bah.

      --

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    34. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by The_Wilschon · · Score: 1

      Well, if the sources in the kit were packages like standard exempt sources today (little round brightly colored plastic discs with a hole in the middle), they practically invite consumption. They look like lifesavers! One of my friends in junior physics lab (mostly jokingly) kept saying she wanted to eat them. Now give that to a not so bright kid... OTOH, the only parents who are likely to get such a thing for their kids are also the same parents who are likely to be smart enough to watch out for their kids, too.

      --
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      wait... not that kind of sig.
    35. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Skinnybrown · · Score: 1
      Ok, maybe I didn't quite make my point clearly enough. The poster I was replying to stated:
      I doubt the minute radioactivity in the kit would have been more dangerous than, say, a dental X-ray.
      The poster seemed to think that the radiation levels were comparable (I have no idea if they are), and that dental X-rays are safe. My point was that if you have an X-ray once every few years, then you have nothing to worry about. But for the same reason that the dentist will not risk daily exposure, you don't want your kids playing with this stuff on a daily basis if the radiation is in the same league.
    36. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by kfg · · Score: 1

      Plinking cans is fine. Plinking frogs, birds and assorted critters for the hell of it isn't.

      Thou shalt not harm any sentient being, but you just try splainin' that to the sentient beings.

      KFG

    37. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Loco+Moped · · Score: 3, Insightful

      they actually made a radioactive energy kit FOR KIDS?! Why don't they just put "For ages 8 and up, especially terrorists" on it? They could build a dirty pipe bomb (radiation spreading) using just a couple of those kits probably.

      You know, the sad part is that nowdays a kid who has graduated from high school might actually think this could happen.
      Whatever happened to 8th grade physics?

    38. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Overzeetop · · Score: 4, Funny

      Let me tell you, the terrorists have already won, my friends.

      And just so you can spot them, they wear three piece suits and like to use code words in Latin for critical parts of their communication.

      --
      Is it just my observation, or are there way too many stupid people in the world?
    39. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Firehed · · Score: 1

      Oh, the irony in the requisite terror claims on this one is just awesome. They'll use an element named after our country from a device created to save lives in order to kill us all!

      --
      How are sites slashdotted when nobody reads TFAs?
    40. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by keraneuology · · Score: 3, Informative
      You're kidding, right? You must have received a public school edukashun, right?

      They could build a dirty pipe bomb (radiation spreading) using just a couple of those kits probably.

      NO, they couldn't. Even in those cool kits of old you wouldn't be able to come up with enough material to make a dirty bomb that actually mattered - you'd need several kilos of bad stuff (or stuff that was much more refined than anything that would have come in a kit like this).

      Most people in this country (like yourself) haven't the slightest clue about radiation. They hear the word and instantly panic, all the while flying back and forth between their brick houses in Denver where and their wooden house in Miami. (One of these houses has three times the background radiation as the other. Which is it?)

      As for this particular lab, I haven't been able to find the specs but I'll bet you a mod point that your average american smoke detector has a far greater intensity of ionizing radiation than anything that Gilbert put on the market. There are probably clocks out there with radium painted dials that are far more radioactive, not to mention all of the uranium oxide they used for dinnerware until production of the bomb in WWII dried up the supply. (The product line continues to this day, but they stopped using the radioactive glaze back in the 60s. Google up Fiestaware.)

      In other words, back in the day, it was far more likely for somebody to visit Crate and Barrel to obtain enough materials for a dirty bomb than it was Toys R Us.

      --
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    41. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by bedonnant · · Score: 1

      yes, but those fine x-rays pictures! watch your teeth grow and fall off!

      --
      ~~~ Paf. Le chien.
    42. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Chris+Burke · · Score: 2, Insightful

      You've got to be kidding me. I think your brain shut off the second you heard nuclear and radiation.

      Yeah, it's like the U.S.A. is Pee Wee's Playhouse, and "radiation" has been the Secret Word for over 50 years.

      President Pee-Wee: Okay kids, now what do you do when you hear the word "radiation"?
      People: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
      President Pee-Wee: That's right! Good sheeple.

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    43. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by GeffDE · · Score: 1

      That reminds me of the days I spent making mortars for fireworks with my friend. It is pretty awesome watching a flaming, colorful ball of light fly up into the air while dashing into the woods so that the police can't find you.

      Or sticking bottle rockets into the eye sockets of this oddly humanoid hunk of metal and shooting them at the girls across the street.

      Or taking apart disposable cameras to get the capacitors in the flash circuit to build a Tesla coil. Or putting said Tesla coil out on the front lawn and dancing around it waving fluorescent lights (which will glow when close enough to the tesla coil) on Halloween. Oddly enough...we had a lot of candy left over at our house that year...


      Oh man, I wish I could do all that again.

      --
      It has been a nervous year, with people beginning to feel like Christian Scientists with appendicitis.
    44. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by russotto · · Score: 1

      DU would be OK as a terror weapon (because people are ignorant) but almost useless in causing actual harm. It's too dense to remain aerosolized. Once it's on the ground or in the water table it would slightly increase the amount of radon in the environment. "Yield to Islam, heathen dogs, or we'll slightly increase the rate of lung cancer in your cities over the next few decades" just falls flat as a threat.

    45. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by _xeno_ · · Score: 4, Informative

      You're thinking of Denis Leary's Merry F#$%n' Christmas Special. I think it was on last year. They have some clips from the show on the Comedy Central site, but not the segment you're talking about.

      --
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    46. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I have seen for sale in stores in the US just this month a radio controlled HMMWV with an electric repeating 6mm Airsoft gun on a turret with a laser sight. No manual reloading between shots and the laser sight would help aim it.

    47. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by ColdWetDog · · Score: 4, Funny
      Whatever happened to 8th grade physics?

      Oh, that's a college level course these days. 500 or 600 level in most places. 8th graders have to pass tests these days. No time for learning.

      --
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    48. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Lord+Apathy · · Score: 1

      Another "toy" that was a fad: burning plastic. Yes, just the simple fun of watching pieces of plastic combust and form sizzling, bubbling, congealed masses dangling from the end of a stick. I remember my friend moronically started whizzing the stick around with the sizzling plastic dangling and some flew on his hand causing a blister.

      Oh yeah, I remember burning plastic. Did you and your friends ever use the black pvc pipes, drip them in water to make interesting scultures and shit?

      On of the more stupider things that we did was soak a tennis ball in gasoline. Then we would set it on fire and play hand ball with it. God, how stupid was that?

      --

      Supporting World Peace Through Nuclear Pacification

    49. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Well at least that is was a real chemistry set..

      When I was in grade 8 I had full access to the school's chemical stockpile. but it did help that I was the lab assistant.

    50. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by paanta · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I dunno. I think it's the smart ones that get in the most trouble. Inquisitive kids are the ones who try to figure out exactly how combustion works and what makes things go boom. Or who figure out how to get their c02 cars to take a model rocket engine. Or who tear apart electronic devices containing powerful capacitors. Who here hasn't done their fair share of learning through second degree burning?

    51. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by kurzweilfreak · · Score: 1

      Airsoft minigun loaded with metal BBs.

      --

      kurzweil_freak

      5th Kyu Genbukan Ninpo/KJJR student

      Be the darkness that allows the light to shine.

    52. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Crizp · · Score: 1

      But I would argue that while the inquisitive ones perhaps experiments more, they take greater care for their safety while doing it. The "dumb" ones would let stuff explode in their face because they would stand 3 feet away instead of 3 yards :)

    53. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by canuck57 · · Score: 2, Informative
      True story: After begging and pleading with their parents for years, my friend Pete and his older brother finally got BB guns one Xmas.
      Of course, the first thing they did was go into their room and had a shootout. Pete's brother nailed him direct in the eyebrow over the left eye. Pete scraped the BB our of his eyebrow, at which point a little fountain of blood began flowing. Pete's first words were "I'm going tell!"
      Since they both knew that they would lose their precious armaments, negotiations ensued about how things could be amicably worked out. In the end, Pete settled out of court for the opportunity to shoot his brother in the ass three times.

      I pity the poor kids who don't learn this until too late.

      Kids will take chances, me, I did, but by making mistakes is how we learn. Depriving your child from making mistakes is MORE dangerous. Better a BB gun than a 9mm Glock or an ounce of nail polish than 5 gallons of gasoline.

      We know this child from being born to 16, his current age. He has never had a chemistry set, has never tossed a lawn dart, has never been scorched by a toy or played with tommy guns -- the parents are overly protective. They will buy him every computer game toy out there though. His friends swap him games, and killing 45 people in 3 minutes is now fun. He gets his violence from computer games without the pain.

      He is dysfunctional socially inept dropout. No social skills that don't start and end with with kill, f'ck or a7it. Kicked out of school - had the cops over dozens of times for willful car theft and destruction of property multiple times. Doesn't even have bad friends. Truly a Nintendo/TV product.

      Parents need to buy the lawn darts, site down and TEACH the kids to use them safely, TEACH them how to take a ski-doo out on their own... TEACH them the safe use of a firearm... and lock them up until they they are mature enough.

      Some kids are mature enough to hunt on their own at 12, while others aren't mature enough at 80.

    54. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by raphae · · Score: 2, Interesting
      On of the more stupider things that we did was soak a tennis ball in gasoline. Then we would set it on fire and play hand ball with it. God, how stupid was that?



      Oh my gosh that reminds me of another awewome toy we used to have (in addition to jarts which were mostly too lame for us kids): we had a device that consisted of multiple beer cans fastened together end-to-end to form a mortar launcher. At the very bottom was an small triangular hole in the side of the can made with a can opener. If you put some lighter fluid in there and shoved a tennis ball in the device and lit it the tennis ball would shoot way into the air with this really cool "thop" sound.

    55. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Apoklypse · · Score: 0

      back in my high school days, we used to throw knives at each other, see who could duck or catch fast enough ... wimps

    56. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by jamesshuang · · Score: 1

      Who said you had to rely on rational argument? "Yield to Islam, heathen dogs, or we'll spray your city with nukular radioactivitiness!" and you'd have half of America crawling around in fear. It's a sad state when the mere thought of nuclear materials scares all rationality out of the general population...

    57. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Not to nitpick, but if he is stealing cars.. I would say he is more of a GTA/TV product.

    58. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      Absolutely insane. I learned a year later that he shot one of his friends in the eye. I guess that's how you build up a card carrying NRA member.

      No, it's not. The NRA teaches safety from before day one. My father is an NRA instructor who specialized in hunter safety classes (usually kids around 12 years old) and I seriously resent that ignorant comment. I was shooting real guns supervised long before I was allowed even a BB gun unsupervised (though a BB gun was anti-climactic at that point). If I ever shot something that wasn't "vermin" or that I didn't plan to eat and was in season my father would have kicked the shit out of me. And if I didn't do it in a safe manner? Fuck...don't expect to touch a gun again for a long, long time. Ironically I never cared for hunting personally, but the lessons I learned about firearms and situational awareness were invaluable. That's what the NRA ia all about. I guarantee you that kid or his parents had nothing to do with the NRA, and likely never would. That kid was a product of ignorant lazy parents who didn't give a crap about their kid and just wanted him to shut up and leave them alone.

      I enjoy your photography, but you really need to keep your mouth shut about things you know nothing about.

    59. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by nytes · · Score: 2, Funny

      No radioactivity. Less explosive power than a Sony battery. Lame.

      --
      -- I have monkeys in my pants.
    60. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by nytes · · Score: 1

      Ahhhh! Nothing on this list compares to the fun of a simple pack of balloons, a book of matches, and a tank of acetylene.

      --
      -- I have monkeys in my pants.
    61. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by alunharford · · Score: 0

      Smoke detectors are quite hard to get into, and the amount of americium-241 is *really* minute. They're also not marketed as children's toys.

      Sure, it's not as dangerous as a used 'depleted' uranium shell (mmm... U-235 oxide - sounds a good thing to breathe in), but they're not marketed as children's toys either (despite their tendency to get used as such).

      If a child eats something they shouldn't, they get taken to hospital. It's usually a fairly minor incident. If a child eats uranium, I think the response would be along the lines of "he's fscked".

    62. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      oh crap! My priest is a terrorist!

    63. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I used to do that! Only I would also cut a small hole in the ball and pack it full of gunpowder and strike-anywhere matchheads. I miss being a kid.

    64. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by compact_support · · Score: 1

      They did that on Sleeper Cell a couple of nights ago. Granted, they were just getting the radioisotopes to test their lead-lined cooler so they'd be sure it wouldn't set off the Geiger counters when they loaded it up with the real nuclear payload. On the show they went out and bought at least 50 of the things from different stores.

    65. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by compact_support · · Score: 1

      Sure, it's not as dangerous as a used 'depleted' uranium shell (mmm... U-235 oxide

      Depleted uranium is mostly U-238. There is some U-235 left in it but it's much less than even naturally occurring uranium. That's why it's called "depleted." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depleted_uranium

    66. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Lord+Apathy · · Score: 2, Informative

      Fucking sweet. I have to try that. First I need to get a sixpack. If you don't hear from me in 24 hours all I ask for is a moment of silence.

      --

      Supporting World Peace Through Nuclear Pacification

    67. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by geminidomino · · Score: 1

      Yeah, it's like the U.S.A. is Pee Wee's Playhouse,

      That has got to simultaneously be the most appropriate and most depressing metaphor I've seen this week...

    68. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Andrew+Kismet · · Score: 1

      Sorry if I overreacted; I took his example to mean the total radiation exposure from such a kit being equal to a single dental X-ray.

    69. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Thalidomide+Pickpock · · Score: 1

      > Who here hasn't done their fair share of learning through second degree burning?

      Thankfully, my little brother's skin healed quite nicely.

    70. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by dargaud · · Score: 1
      Well yes, for someone who is inherently violent, such as yourself, a BB gun might be something they shouldn't be allowed to handle. Thanks for being the reason cops need to exist. Thanks a fucking lot.
      Well, if that isn't clear enough, I wanted to but I didn't. And I don't need a religion to tell me how to behave (since reading about the history of buddhism I don't buy into the 'peaceful religion' meme anymore). I still can't think of a worse way to educate a kid than to tell him it's OK to shoot whatever he wants.

      Your posts are usually more insightful and a lot more entertaining, even though I knew I'd get flamed or moderated into oblivion.

      --
      Non-Linux Penguins ?
    71. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by be-fan · · Score: 1

      You don't even necessarily need a modified gun. A good air-powered one can draw blood at range, as well as shoot right throw something like a CD at a decent distance.

      --
      A deep unwavering belief is a sure sign you're missing something...
    72. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by HeadlessNotAHorseman · · Score: 0

      Back when I was a lad my buddies and I would shoot each other in the face with shotguns, then pour kerosene in the wounds and set it on fire, and we had to walk dickety-six miles uphill in the snow to do it.

      --
      I like my coffee the way I like my women - roasted and ground up into little tiny pieces.
    73. Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Most people in this country (like yourself) haven't the slightest clue about radiation

      So in every other contry every citizen has a strong grasp on the subject? Move along troll.

  2. Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    "It's unclear what effects the Uranium-bearing ores might have had on those few lucky children who received the set"

    Exactly. It has the N-word in it so it must be dangerous, right? I highly doubt kids who played with this would have even got a fraction of the dose that they normally get from naturally occurring radon. But any risk is too great, right?

    Part of the reason the world is so anti-nuclear is that simple science educating toys like this are banned and exaggerated anti-nuclear views (like that of the author) remain unchallenged. Perhaps my generation was the last one where parents normally bought their children electronics and chemistry sets. Today we would fear that the child would be shocked or chemically burned (regardless of the probability).

    1. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by Miseph · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      exposure to the same isotope--U-238--has been linked to Gulf War syndrome, cancer, leukemia, and lymphoma, among other serious ailments

      RTFA, the only people saying anything about nuclear weapons are posters here.
      --
      Try not to take me more seriously than I take myself.
    2. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by jbourj · · Score: 1
      In no sense was this toy any more dangerous than fiesta-ware, Coleman lantern mantles or simply living in New Mexico---not to mention high exposures from air travel, etc.

      And unless I'm missing something, I can think of no obvious scientific reason to attribute Gulf War Syndrome with U-238. It smells very much like public paranoia and mis-information: Uranium 238 is depleted Uranium: it is not fissile, and it's half-life is near 5 billion years. It is rather abundant in bricks---which is why most building have a higher ambient radiation than the outdoors (even though the buildings shield some cosmic rays, they usually have enough Uranium in the bricks to compensate).

      That the level of radiation is of absolutely no concern whatsoever, and calling it one of the 'most dangerous toys of all time' is spreading public mis-information.

    3. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by nebular · · Score: 2, Interesting

      From what I've read about gulf war syndrome, it's not exposure to the radiation from u238 that caused it, but to the heavy metal itself. u238 was used in armour piercing rounds and the solders were exposed when the moved in after the tanks were busted.

      True radiation is a boogyman in todays sociey, but with u238 or any other heavy metals, there is a real health concern outside of any potential radiation.

    4. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by itsdapead · · Score: 1
      Uranium 238 is depleted Uranium: it is not fissile, and it's half-life is near 5 billion years.

      However, eating or inhaling heavy metals (esp. as dust or salts) is rarely a good idea, even if they're not radioactive.

      --
      In a survey of 100 programmers, 111111 thought that duck-typing was a good idea.
    5. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by surprise_audit · · Score: 4, Interesting
      When I was in school, the science labs had a padlocked cupboard under the stairs with a radiation marker on it. That was where the radiation sources were kept in a lead-lined box. The actual sources were maybe 1cm in diameter, with a tiny speck of alpha, beta or gamma emitter embedded in one end. Ah, the fun the physics teacher had with those... Funnier yet was his watch, which was far, far more radioactive than the officially sanctioned sources. The dial was luminous, using some kind of radium compound. Funniest of all was the day he sent someone up to the organic chemistry lab to fetch a certain reagent from the open shelf in the classroom. Man, that stuff made the geiger counter hum! Uranyl Acetate (at least, *some* kind of uranium compound), I think it was, a standard reagent used to confirm (or deny) the presence of some chemical.

      I'm fairly sure *that* class got dumbed down quite a lot when that particular teacher retired.

    6. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by sco08y · · Score: 1

      Yup, they even managed to throw in a reference to Gulf War Syndrome. I'm not going to debate the merits of GWS, but simply point out that depleted uranium (which is what is used in sabot rounds) is not highly radioactive. Its danger lies in the toxicity of dust particles that may be ingested, since it's a heavy metal.

    7. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by minion · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Perhaps my generation was the last one where parents normally bought their children electronics and chemistry sets. Today we would fear that the child would be shocked or chemically burned (regardless of the probability).
       
      When I was 5, I got my first 160 in 1 Electronic Projects Kit from RadioShack. Similar to this item here. That thing was really cool, especially when I was a kid. Have you looked at what Radioshack sells these days as electronic kits? This thing is now sold as the new "rage" in kits. Its like a puzzle. To me, that is dumbing it down to the point of a child not learning anything about electronics, other than "connecting the blue piece to the red pieces makes a buzzing sound".
       
      I bought my nephew one of the kits off of ebay, because thats the only place I could find the kits that actually teach you something about electronics.
       
      Some other poster talked about dangerous toys being sold to weed out the stupid kids, and only let the smart ones survive. He may be on to something... Todays kids use extremely complicated electronic gadgets for their entertainment, and haven't got a clue how they work, nor do they care. Its a scary future.

      --

      -- If we don't stand up for our rights, now, there will be no right to stand up for them later.
    8. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by ductonius · · Score: 1
      Its danger lies in the toxicity of dust particles that may be ingested, since it's a heavy metal.

      The World Health Organization thinks that most DU ingested will be eliminated from the body rather quickly.

      -About 98% of uranium entering the body via ingestion is not absorbed, but is eliminated via the faeces. Typical gut absorption rates for uranium in food and water are about 2% for soluble and about 0.2% for insoluble uranium compounds.
      -The fraction of uranium absorbed into the blood is generally greater following inhalation than following ingestion of the same chemical form. The fraction will also depend on the particle size distribution. For some soluble forms, more than 20% of the inhaled material could be absorbed into blood.
      -Of the uranium that is absorbed into the blood, approximately 70% will be filtered by the kidney and excreted in the urine within 24 hours; this amount increases to 90% within a few days
    9. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by dankasfuk · · Score: 1

      Isn't radon an _inert_ gas? Hard to believe that that it could spontaneously decay...

      --
      Ban Engadget - moderators censor comments!
    10. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It is chemically inert. It is very happy with its electron configuration and doesn't like to change it. Same as with Helium, Neon, Krypton (Though you can make these lighter ones react if you try hard enough, that's why they're generally called Noble gasses rather than inert nowadays). But Radon's nucleus is unstable and likes to kick out a helium nucleus every once in awhile.

    11. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by Gadgetfreak · · Score: 1

      I too had one of those 160 in one kits. It had blue sides on it, and the snap springs that you used to attach wires to. But I cut to the chase when I was 9, and asked for a digital multimeter. From then I built my own stuff...
      I ended up being a MechE, but I still like working on electronics.

      --
      "No fair, you changed the outcome by measuring it!" - Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
    12. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by Workaphobia · · Score: 1

      I had the 200-in-one kit. I remember one day I tried testing the battery (via the spring clips) with a Duracell testing strip that came with their batteries at the time. Of course, those strips are nothing but a piece of metal with which to short out your voltage source, so I ended up burning myself. Not exactly the fault of the toy though.

      --
      Evidently, the key to understanding recursion is to begin by understanding recursion. The rest is easy.
    13. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by ebers · · Score: 1

      I had the 160 in one that came in the wood box, from about 1983. That thing kicked ass and was my most used Christmas toy, except for perhaps Legos. Thank you for reminding me of it. The descendants of that toy were getting dumbed-down even in the late 80's. However, dumbed-down is a relative term: The manual for my 160 and one box had some technical explanations of transistor biasing that would be typical for a lab in an electrical fundementals EE course.

    14. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by networkBoy · · Score: 1

      Exactally what I was going to say.
      Plutonium salts are quite radioactive, but you will poision yourself far sooner than irradiating yourself to death.
      I always assumed the GWS was related to the effects of the metal on the body, not the radioactive portion. Important to note, however, that several tanks hit with depleted ammo were radioactively "hot" after being hit, while the ammo its self was not nearly as hot...
      -nB

      --
      whois gawk date unzip strip find touch finger mount join nice man top fsck grep eject more yes exit umount sleep dump
    15. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by alleycat0 · · Score: 1

      These types of kits are still available - just not from Radio Shack. I maintain a concise list of kit (and part) sources. It includes several sources for these type kits, including Ramsey Electronics, which has the "Super-Fun 130 In 1 Electronics Lab" [item PL130], the "Complete 300 In 1 Electronic Lab" [item P300] and the " Advanced 500 In 1 Electronic Lab" [item PL500]. -allen

      --
      I am not a number - I am a free man!
    16. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by SuluSulu · · Score: 1

      "It's unclear what effects the Uranium-bearing ores might have had on those few lucky children who received the set"

      I don't know what the bid deal deal is with some people. I got to play with some Uranium ore and other radioactive elements a few weeks ago in Chemistry. It was fun!

    17. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by Anonymous+McCartneyf · · Score: 1

      Let me get this straight:
      Weapons fallout is a minor source of radiation in Albequerque?
      Oh, dear...
      I hope that's an old article. Surely they aren't still testing nukes in Nevada? Or does Los Alamos have a private, classified nuclear weapon test site?

      --
      There is a fine line between recklessness and courage... -- Paul McCartney
    18. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by Breakfast+Pants · · Score: 1

      Some other poster talked about dangerous toys being sold to weed out the stupid kids, and only let the smart ones survive. He may be on to something... Bad idea. We almost lost Feynman to that.
      --

      --

      WHO ATE MY BREAKFAST PANTS?
    19. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by sesshomaru · · Score: 1
      --
      "MIT betrayed all of its basic principles."
    20. Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I loved the all-in-on electronics kits. Doesn't Radio Shack still sell them? When I was young, my cousin let me have his kit which was missing pieces and such.

      When I was older (just over 10 years ago), I purchased the 300-in-one kit. I came with the usual components and spring connectors along with an assortment of wires, but only the big parts where actually mounted on the kit itself (including a really need LED number display). In the center was a bread board and all the smaller parts came in a couple of plastic containers including a couple of integrated circuits, and, of course, you put the smaller parts directly in the bread board.

      I remember hours of fun trying to figure out how a lot of the projects worked. The lowered number projects were similar to many of the projects in the other all-in-one kits, but the higher numbered project tended to be complex (such as a roulette wheel using the LED number display) and really fascinating. I remember even building my own sorting bin out of cardboard and wood glue to seperate the many tiny components by type and value.

      ^__^ The nostalgia makes me smile.

      --Dave Romig, Jr.

  3. Warning by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Do not reach into Cabbage Patch Snacktime Kid with remaining fingers.

    1. Re:Warning by Who235 · · Score: 0


      Consumer Reporter: Good evening, and welcome to the holiday edition of "Consumer Probe". Our topic tonight is unsafe toys for children. For instance, this little bow and arrow set. [ holds up ] Pull the rubber suctions off, and the arrows become deadly missiles.

      We have with us tonight, Mr. Irwin Mainway, President of Mainway Toys. Uh, Mr. Mainway, your company manufactures the following so-called harmless playthings: Pretty Peggy Ear-Piercing Set, Mr. Skin-Grafter, General Tron's Secret Police Confession Kit, and Doggie Dentist. And what about this innocent rubber doll, which you market under the name Johnny Switchblade? [ holds up doll ] Press his head, and two sharp knives spring from his arms. [ demonstrates ] Mr. Mainway, I'm afraid this is, by no means, a very safe toy.

      Irwin Mainway: Okay, Miss, I wanna correct you, alright. The full name of this product, as it appears in stores all over the county, is Johnny Switchblade: Adventure Punk. I mean, nothing goes wrong.. little girls buy 'em, you know, they play games, they make up stories, nobody gets hurt. I mean, so Barbie takes a knife once in a while, or Ken gets cut. You know, there's no harm in that. I mean, as far as I can see, you know?

      Consumer Reporter: Alright. Fine. Fine. Well, we'd like to show you another one of Mr. Mainway's products. It retails for $1.98, and it's called Bag O' Glass. [ holds up bag of glass ] Mr. Mainway, this is simply a bag of jagged, dangerous, glass bits.

      Irwin Mainway: Yeah, right, it's you know, it's glass, it's broken glass, you know? It sells very well, as a matter of fact, you know? It's just broken glass, you know?

      Consumer Reporter: [ laughs ] I don't understand. I mean, children could seriously cut themselves on any one of these pieces!

      Irwin Mainway: Yeah, well, look - you know, the average kid, he picks up, you know, broken glass anywhere, you know? The beach, the street, garbage cans, parking lots, all over the place in any big city. We're just packaging what the kids want! I mean, it's a creative toy, you know? If you hold this up, you know, you see colors, every color of the rainbow! I mean, it teaches him about light refraction, you know? Prisms, and that stuff! You know what I mean?

      Consumer Reporter: So, you don't feel that this product is dangerous?

      Irwin Mainway: No! Look, we put a label on every bag that says, "Kid! Be careful - broken glass!" I mean, we sell a lot of products in the "Bag O'" line.. like Bag O' Glass, Bag O' Nails, Bag O' Bugs, Bag O' Vipers, Bag O' Sulfuric Acid. They're decent toys, you know what I mean?

      Consumer Reporter: Well, I guess we could say that all of your toys are really unsafe and should rightfully be banned from the market. I guess I would just like to know what happened to the good ol' teddy bear.

      Irwin Mainway: Hold on a minute, sister. I mean, we make a teddy bear. It's right here. [ picks up giant teddy bear ] It's got a nice little feature here, you see? I'll hold it up here. We call it a Teddy Chainsaw Bear. [ revs chainsaw in teddy bear's stomach ] I mean, a kid plays with saws, he can cut logs with it, you know what I mean.

      Consumer Reporter: Well, this is certainly a very sad situation. One of the precious joys of Christmas warped by a ruthless profiteer like yourself.

      Irwin Mainway: Well, that's just your opinion, you know what I mean?

      Consumer Reporter: Well, I just don't understand why you can't make harmelss toys like these alphabet blocks. [ points to blocks ]

      Irwin Mainway: C'mon, this is harmless? Alright, okay, you call this harmless? [ holds block in hand ] I mean.. [ plays with block and fakes injury ] Aagghh!! I got a splinter in here, look at that! This is wood! This is unsanded wood, it's rough!

      Consumer Reporter: Alright, that's enough of this ridiculous display. [ holds toy phone ] Here is another creative toy, safe enough for a baby!

      Irwin Mainway: [ grabs phone ] You say it's safe, I mean, look at this cord.. the kid is on the phone - "Hello

    2. Re:Warning by andi75 · · Score: 1

      Blantant rip-off from Gary Larson's "Do not look into laser with remaining eye" cartoon.

    3. Re:Warning by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You're a regular genius, aren't you?

    4. Re:Warning by andi75 · · Score: 1

      Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research. Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)

      (Source: http://www.chemistrycoach.com/research.htm)

  4. Great List by rblancarte · · Score: 1, Insightful

    I actually had #9 the Battlestar Galactica Missle Launcher. I remember from the Viper Pilot figure in the picture.

    Of course, the discontinueing of these toys wouldn't be needed if people would use their common sense. Then again, I guess that is too hard to expect from the average American.

    RonB

    --
    It is human nature to take shortcuts in thinking.
    1. Re:Great List by Telvin_3d · · Score: 4, Insightful
      Of course, the discontinueing of these toys wouldn't be needed if people would use their common sense. Then again, I guess that is too hard to expect from the average American.

      Talk about someone with a grudge against Americans. Sure, make fun of them when they earn it (which is often, I will concede), but this is a bit much. Considering the target market is between 4 and 10 years of age, I think expecting a constant level of common sense IS a bit much to ask. That's why children are treated like children.
    2. Re:Great List by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      I guess you were never a kid or you would know better than to say that.

    3. Re:Great List by Dahamma · · Score: 1

      Did you WATCH the average episode of Battlestar Galactica?! (sure, you were probably not even born then, I understand...) If a 4 year old could spend more than 30 seconds watching Lorne Greene then I will give him/her my 25 year old Cylon Raider (ok I lie, I haven't seen it since I was 11). But anyway, calling the target market 4-10 is just wrong, I think it's more like 8-12, and if you can't learn not to swallow a red plastic missile in SECOND GRADE - well, Ralph Wiggum has sage advice to teach you.

    4. Re:Great List by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      One: Toys are directed towards children, who aren't exactly known for their common sense.

      Two: As a parent, do you honestly look closely at every single toy you buy for your kids? I have no doubt that every parent has, at least once, just grabbed a toy off the shelf without more than a glance at the packaging. And there's nothing wrong with that--we buy toys based on the assumption that they're safe because they SHOULD be safe. See point one--they're made for people with very little common sense.

      Three: Some of those toys are ridiculously poorly designed and dangerous--it's not the parents' fault (or the kid's) that mattel designed a doll that could literally chew your fingers off. There's no way any parent would expect that kind of behavior from a doll made by one of America's biggest toy companies.

      Four: Even if you're a perfect parent and only buy safe toys, it's not only your child's toys that are dangerous--some out of control brat with a lawn dart can still put their damned eye out. Or your kid will stick his finger's in Johnny's doll's mouth and get it bitten off.

      I honestly don't see the big deal with any of those toys being banned--an exposed hotplate that reaches 300 degrees? That's not a monster factory, that's a maiming factory. Radiation play sets? Lil' strangler hammocks? Please.

    5. Re:Great List by kfg · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Considering the target market is between 4 and 10 years of age, I think expecting a constant level of common sense IS a bit much to ask. That's why children are treated like children.

      i.e. the supid ones need to be weeded out early. It's not like we don't have fun making more of the little bastards. Wanna put some common sense into little Johnny's head, assuming his head is capable of holding such?

      Just look him right in the eye and say, "Go right ahead. It's not like you're my only one."

      Knowing that mommy and daddy not only will not always be able to protect you, but knowing that they won't even necessarily try teaches you to bloody well look out for yourself.

      Maybe we were just funny that way, but back in the day we thought that being able and willing to take care of yourself was something of a survival trait.

      But what did we know.

      KFG

    6. Re:Great List by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      Children are only children if you treat em as such. Treat them like adults, and you'll be amazed how smart they really are. Too bad our Western culture has injected this stage into our lives.

      And if they still stuck it in their mouths, they're just dumb people and nothing is lost.

    7. Re:Great List by kfg · · Score: 5, Funny

      While you have a point. . .

      Exactly.

      When your mother laid your egg, did she leave you to fend for yourself completely?

      Leaving my egg on a mountaintop taught me to fight off the wolf cubs for best tit and made me the man I am today. A flea bitten cur.

      KFG

    8. Re:Great List by zuiraM · · Score: 1

      That's why children are treated like children.

      I think you may, in part, have reversed cause and effect here.

      And, I think the point of the GP is that these toys were sold elsewhere too, yet in many cases the injury statistics differed significantly between the two sides of the ocean. I would also point out that reactions to these injuries differed as well: elsewhere, it is often an accepted part of life that some kids will have accidents growing up and blaming the mfg's for it is just silly. The worst of these toys are generally safer than the kid would be playing with in the absence of any toys.

      Ask your oldest relative how many injuries they sustained during play. Compare. Comprehend.

    9. Re:Great List by Frumious+Wombat · · Score: 1

      Ah yes, just one step short of the Bill Cosby, "I brought you into this world, and I can take you right back out."

      As you said, we used to run around unsupervised, idly looked after by other adults in the neighborhood (i.e. if you were doing something truly criminal, someone would probably notice), and allowed to get nicked and dinged. One of my friends still remembers being 8 or so, and we were playing barefoot on a big pile of dirt excavated for a new cellar, when I stepped on a broken bottle. She still laughs about bicycling home with me watching the blood drip through the pedal. End result of that incident? No suing the contractor for not sifting their dirt for sharp objects and leaving it lying around, and no real recriminations towards me, other than that I got a tetanus shot, and a reminder that if I did that again, I'd get another.

      I think we must have known quite a bit, as there's a bloody awful lot of us from the pre-foamrubber world days still around. As one parent I know puts it, "kids bounce".

      --
      the more accurate the calculations became, the more the concepts tended to vanish into thin air. R. S. Mulliken
    10. Re:Great List by kfg · · Score: 1

      Ah yes, just one step short of the Bill Cosby

      And in a bit of seredipity, the current Slashdot FOTD is:

      "Did you hear that two rabbits escaped from the zoo and so far they have only recaptured 116 of them?"

      Only two, only two, oooooooooonly two!

      . . .we were playing barefoot on a big pile of dirt excavated for a new cellar, when I stepped on a broken bottle.

      . . .ooooooh, maybe a little gash here and there, but that's alright. And then the grownups came and moved in . . .the monkey bars. We lost a hundred and fourty seven kids in one day.

      KFG

    11. Re:Great List by Guppy06 · · Score: 1

      "i.e. the supid ones need to be weeded out early. It's not like we don't have fun making more of the little bastards. Wanna put some common sense into little Johnny's head, assuming his head is capable of holding such?"

      Except they don't always get killed. How much more sense can you put into Johnny's head when you spend the rest of your life wiping drool off his chin because of Johnny's brain injury?

      "Just look him right in the eye and say, "Go right ahead. It's not like you're my only one.""

      After that debilitating injury and the massive medical bills you'll have to pay because of it, you won't be able to afford any more children. Hopefully your insurance provider will kick you to the curb rather than raising rates for the rest of us.

      Of course, you, being raised properly, will do the responsible thing and take on a second (or even third) job so that you can pay for Johnny's wheelchair/prosthesis/live-in nurse, since you helped bring him into the world and allowed the injury to happen on your watch.

    12. Re:Great List by Frumious+Wombat · · Score: 1

      *ding*....

      --
      the more accurate the calculations became, the more the concepts tended to vanish into thin air. R. S. Mulliken
    13. Re:Great List by kfg · · Score: 1

      How much more sense can you put into Johnny's head when you spend the rest of your life wiping drool off his chin because of Johnny's brain injury?

      What do you think God invented mountaintops for?

      KFG

    14. Re:Great List by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What do you think God invented mountaintops for?

      Probably a different purpose than courtrooms, prisons, and electric chairs. Use the first and you're looking at least two of the following three.

    15. Re:Great List by DarrylKegger · · Score: 1

      your handle is so close to 'KFC' tht I think of it everytime I see one of your posts. Do you like KFC?

    16. Re:Great List by PlusFiveTroll · · Score: 1
      Except they don't always get killed. How much more sense can you put into Johnny's head when you spend the rest of your life wiping drool off his chin because of Johnny's brain injury?
      At least this kid will not be running around with a trenchcoat and a shotgun at your local high school
    17. Re:Great List by kfg · · Score: 1

      Do you like KFC?

      No.

      your handle is so close to 'KFC' tht I think of it everytime I see one of your posts.

      Q.E.D. The fact that I was also born the same year as the Bucket-O is pure coincidence; I swear.

      KFG

    18. Re:Great List by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      and that's why they grow up and CONTINUE to act like children! You can't raise the bar the day of the meet and expect to make it.

    19. Re:Great List by DarrylKegger · · Score: 1

      wow you're old, is tht why you're so grumpy?

    20. Re:Great List by kfg · · Score: 1

      wow you're old. . .

      Yes, it happens if you just wait long enough.

      . . . is tht why you're so grumpy?

      No. It's people pointing out that my initials are almost the same as KFC that do that.

      KFG

    21. Re:Great List by DarrylKegger · · Score: 1

      oww techy, time to change the diaper, grandpa? heh hee heeheheh

    22. Re:Great List by Psmylie · · Score: 1
      I was a big BG fan both before and after the recall. After the big "kids could choke on this!" hoopla, they started releasing those toys with slightly modified missiles, with an extra plastic peice to stop it from actually leaving the toy after being "fired". It would move maybe an eighth of an inch or so.

      I did what any kid would do in that situation. I took the toy apart, cut off the extra plastic (with a knife I heated up on the stove, no less... easier to cut plastic that way) and immediately shot my brother in the eye with it.

      Good times. Good times.

      --

      psmylie's dictionary: Godzillion (noun) Any number large enough to destroy Tokyo

  5. Stupidity In America (and I'm sure everywhere) by PixieDust · · Score: 5, Funny
    This article seems to think along these lines as well. To steal a quote from a friend of mine (and where he got it I've no idea)...

    The problem with (America) is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be capital punishment for stupidity, let's just remove the warning labels from products and let the problem solve itself.

    And yea, after reading the article, hehe. Wow. I wish I'd had the Atomic lab. Oh the fun I'd have had with that! Those bastards that snapped my bra in high school would have MAJOR issues now...

    *Maniacle laughter followed immediately by a chase scene involving a bunch of men in white coats*

    1. Re:Stupidity In America (and I'm sure everywhere) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny
      I'm not saying there should be capital punishment for stupidity


      It's called Darwinism.
    2. Re:Stupidity In America (and I'm sure everywhere) by antifoidulus · · Score: 3, Funny

      Well, you mentioned your bra being snapped on slashdot, so while you might not get chased by a bunch of men in white coats, you might just get chased by a bunch of men with yellow "cheetos fingers".....

    3. Re:Stupidity In America (and I'm sure everywhere) by Rakshasa+Taisab · · Score: 5, Funny

      Is your friend's name by any chance bash.org?

      --
      - These characters were randomly selected.
    4. Re:Stupidity In America (and I'm sure everywhere) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I heard a french guy say 'The americans only managed to put a man on the moon as they were too stupid to realise it was impossible''

      CD

    5. Re:Stupidity In America (and I'm sure everywhere) by romland · · Score: 0

      Hell, these days most toys are fooken deadly due to the bloody wrapping they come in.

    6. Re:Stupidity In America (and I'm sure everywhere) by pipingguy · · Score: 1

      The problem with (America) is stupidity.

      America does not have a disproportionate percentage of stupids, it's just that every possible stupid thing done by an American gets videotaped and broadcast to the rest of the world.

      Don't ask me to explain reality TV or professional wrestling though.

    7. Re:Stupidity In America (and I'm sure everywhere) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      You make the fatal assumption that just because 'bra' is mentioned, the parent is a girl... This is, after all, slashdot..

    8. Re:Stupidity In America (and I'm sure everywhere) by PixieDust · · Score: 1

      Nope, but that makes sense if that's where he got it. He loves that site. I've poked around it a bit but, nothing too serious. Right-o then. I really should get back to checking that site periodically.

    9. Re:Stupidity In America (and I'm sure everywhere) by ari{Dal} · · Score: 1

      The quote is from Bash.org. And I fully agree with both the quote, and wishing I'd had an atomic lab.

      I did have a microscope growing up, which was pretty cool; came complete with scalpels and stuff to slice off bits of myself and examine. What I really wanted was the full-on Chemistry set though. Those looked like so much fun. I got barbies instead *sigh*

      --
      Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo - H. G. Wells
    10. Re:Stupidity In America (and I'm sure everywhere) by Peter+La+Casse · · Score: 1

      And so would they. This is, after all, slashdot.

    11. Re:Stupidity In America (and I'm sure everywhere) by identity0 · · Score: 2, Funny

      I realize you're probobly one of the rare "female geeks", but please refrain from saying things like "Those bastards that snapped my bra in high school", most people here are guys and it gives us a wierd mental image to hear that. Like a pudgy, cross-eyed boy geek with gender issues being picked on by jocks in the locker room for wearing his sister's bra. That poor bastard.

      "Hey cut it out guys! I'm just *different*, okay?" *snap*

      Memories of high school are traumatic enough without imagining these horrors, okay?

  6. Cabbage Patch Finger Food by vG_NeSS_Vg · · Score: 0

    And just how and why did they make a doll that had a motor type thing that could chomp 35 fingers off cumulatively?

    --
    "In no instance have the churches been guardians of the liberties of the people." James Madison
    1. Re:Cabbage Patch Finger Food by FunkSoulBrother · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I'm wondering if it really chomped the fingers OFF, or if they just got caught. The article doesn't really seem to say. I have a hard time thinking they'd design a mechanism powerful enough to sever a finger.

    2. Re:Cabbage Patch Finger Food by Digital+Pizza · · Score: 3, Informative

      According to this, "no serious injuries have been reported".

      --
      We apologize for the inconvenience.
    3. Re:Cabbage Patch Finger Food by _tognus · · Score: 1

      Oh shit, a Cabbage Patch dissenter! Run and hide man they'll be coming for you, chomp chomp chomp gulp and no FunkSoulBrother no more.

      Wait a second, someone's knocking.

    4. Re:Cabbage Patch Finger Food by Dunbal · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'm wondering if it really chomped the fingers OFF

            Yup. 35 fingers and one penis. Uhh, don't ask...

      --
      Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
    5. Re:Cabbage Patch Finger Food by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If I remember correctly, the "eating" mechanism consisted of 2 metal rollers which the "food" would
      be bassed between, so at worst, it probaly hurt like hell, but didn't do any real damage.

  7. I can't believe they forgot... by FunWithKnives · · Score: 5, Funny

    Happy FUN BALL!

    -only $14.95-

    * Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.
    * Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
    * Happy Fun Ball Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
    * Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.

    Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:

    * Itching
    * Vertigo
    * Dizziness
    * Tingling in extremities
    * Loss of balance or coordination
    * Slurred speech
    * Temporary blindness
    * Profuse sweating
    * Heart palpitations

    If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

    Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.

    When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration...

    Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.

    Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

    Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

    Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

    Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee.

    Happy Fun Ball

    ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!

    --
    "We may face a scorched and lifeless earth, but they're accountable to their shareholders first."
    1. Re:I can't believe they forgot... by SnprBoB86 · · Score: 2, Funny

      I prefer Wild Wacky Action Bike: http://mrbucket33.tripod.com/

      --
      http://brandonbloom.name
    2. Re:I can't believe they forgot... by frogstar_robot · · Score: 1

      But I want to be just like Alabama Man! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Alv120454wk

  8. No Invisible Pedestrian Costume? by MillionthMonkey · · Score: 1, Informative

    It's the all black costume that makes you look like an Invisible Pedestrian. None of the drivers will be able to see you- carry out clandestine missions at night in the middle of the road without getting spotted. I didn't see the Invisible Pedestrian Costume listed here so they must have liked it.

    I don't see the Bag-O-Glass listed either. Another stimulating, wholesome toy.

    1. Re:No Invisible Pedestrian Costume? by niktemadur · · Score: 1

      Invisible Pedestrian Costume??? LOL!!!
      Who cooked that one up and where can I get it?
      I know a couple of brats that deserve a kewl Christmas gift.

      Seriously now, wasn't that just an SNL sketch?

      --
      Lil' Thindime, lilting a lacrimose lament, krashes the kwaint konfines of Kokonino Kounty
    2. Re:No Invisible Pedestrian Costume? by Dunbal · · Score: 1

      None of the drivers will be able to see you- carry out clandestine missions at night in the middle of the road

            Huh? Who put that speed bump there?

      --
      Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
    3. Re:No Invisible Pedestrian Costume? by murderlegendre · · Score: 1

      SNL is right.. If I recall, it was Akroyd playing Mr. Earnest Mainway, being interviewed by Jane Curtin. Hillarious farking sketch, with Dan at his sleazy-guy best.

      --
      There's a Starman, waiting in the sky / He'd like to come and meet us, but he hasn't got the time.
    4. Re:No Invisible Pedestrian Costume? by Lord+Apathy · · Score: 1

      Invisible Pedestrian Costume??? LOL!!!

      There used to be dumb ass like that when I was working in Huntsville. I would be getting off I565 going to work at 4:00 in the morning. The street I was driving down didn't have any street lamps on it so it would be pretty dark. Then out of no where a black man dressed in all black riding a black bicycle with no reflectors would dart out of a side street in front of me.

      He did this about two or three times in one week. We got to talking about it at work and it seems I wasn't the only one he did it too. This went on for about 6 months. Then one day he dissappreared. After about 6 months another black man showed up on the same street riding a black bicycle that look a lot like the other. Except this one was wearing a orange safty vest and the bicycle had lights on it, lots of lights.

      --

      Supporting World Peace Through Nuclear Pacification

  9. Battlestar Galactica toy doesnt belong on there by jorghis · · Score: 1

    The Battlestar Galactica one seems a little silly. It was recalled because some kid put it in his mouth and shot a missle down his throat? Well no shit pieces of plastic are dengerous if you swallow them. Chess pieces are dangerous under that definition. What makes them any different from the 100000 other toys that shoot plastic missles of some kind? A little unfair to add them to that list imho.

    1. Re:Battlestar Galactica toy doesnt belong on there by soft_guy · · Score: 1

      I think it is on there because there was a recall on the product that was very big in the news at the time.

      I had one of these. One thing I liked about it was that it would shoot that missle really far. (Which is probably why it was so effective at shooting it down the kid's throat.)

      --
      Avoid Missing Ball for High Score
    2. Re:Battlestar Galactica toy doesnt belong on there by zuiraM · · Score: 1

      Seeing as though a majority of the candidates were from Mattel, he might have a thorn in their sides. Maybe his kid got bitten/chewed on or something.

    3. Re:Battlestar Galactica toy doesnt belong on there by residieu · · Score: 1

      Seems like every line of toy had something that would shoot. And then a few months later, someone would sue and they'd stop selling the one that shot. Was really annoying

  10. Jarts is #1! by EvilOpie · · Score: 5, Insightful

    It's sad, before even opening the article I knew that lawn darts would rank #1 on the list. I guess it mildly annoys me because they aren't that dangerous if you know how to use them properly. Just make sure that there's nobody down range, and don't do anything stupid with them (like throw them straight up over your head) and no one gets hurt.

    I remember playing with Jarts as a kid (<10 years old) many times over. No one ever got hurt from it. There was enough common sense to keep people behind the shooter when playing the game. I guess it seems silly to me that people keep picking on Jarts because there are so many other "dangerous" things out there as well. Jarts is in a small way, a slow form of archery (sharp objects propelled at a target down range), and know that it can be made relatively safe if the proper precautions are taken. I suppose that even something as innocent as playing horseshoes could be dangerous too, should someone take a blow from a heavy chunk of metal to their head. But it's always Jarts that gets picked on. According to a wikipedia article the incident that led to the banning of lawn darts was mostly a result of the combination of lawn darts and beer. That's frequently a bad combination of anything.

    Of course without lawn darts, we wouldn't have neat T-shirts about them. The rest of the list is interesting too. I'm surprised at how many kids that mini-hammock (ranked #3) has managed to strangle over the years.

    --
    -Through the server, over the router, off the firewall... Nothing but 'Net!
    1. Re:Jarts is #1! by jorghis · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Under your logic sniper rifles would be great toys for kids. Just make sure that there's nobody down range, and don't do anything stupid with them (like shoot them at your head) and no one gets hurt. : )

    2. Re:Jarts is #1! by robbiedo · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Common sense is a rare and precious commodity, especially in young boys. I nearly set my parent's house on fire with my little chemistry experiments when I was 8.

    3. Re:Jarts is #1! by TodMinuit · · Score: 0

      Just make sure that there's nobody down range, and don't do anything stupid with them (like throw them straight up over your head) and no one gets hurt.

      You were never a teenager, were you?

      --
      I wonder if I use bold in my signature, people will notice my posts.
    4. Re:Jarts is #1! by EvilOpie · · Score: 1

      Basically, yes.

      --
      -Through the server, over the router, off the firewall... Nothing but 'Net!
    5. Re:Jarts is #1! by Digital+Pizza · · Score: 1

      "the incident that led to the banning of lawn darts was mostly a result of the combination of lawn darts and beer."

      I find it kind of annoying that the wikipedia article didn't describe what actually happened; nor did I have any luck googling for the incident, just got repeats of the above quote.

      Anybody know what actually happened? I'd like to judge for myself the merit of the ban, rather than just hearing vague hype.

      --
      We apologize for the inconvenience.
    6. Re:Jarts is #1! by Teddy+Beartuzzi · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Didn't used to be. I knew dozens of kids including myself, all of us played responsibly with lawn darts, the thingmaker, klackers.

      And if today's kids were allowed out of their little insular plastic bubble they're kept in from birth to adulthood, they'd be just fine.

    7. Re:Jarts is #1! by niktemadur · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Common sense is a rare and precious commodity, especially in young boys.

      You ain't kidding there, jimbo, but I wouldn't just emphasize young boys, how about twentysomethings? Years ago, an acquaintance had a kick-ass crossbow with pulleys and stuff, and on three separate ocassions that I knew of, he and his friends formed a circle while the guy shot an arrow straight into the sky. That thing was so powerful that the arrow disappeared from view for about a minute, then a buzzing sound grew louder and louder until the damn thing inserted itself several inches into the ground. Talk about stupid.

      Once I intercepted these guys at a ranch when they were out night-hunting on a Saturday. I'm not a hunting man myself, so I got there late with a couple of friends, we popped open some beers and waited while staring at the Milky Way and getting a little philosophical. When the hunting expedition returned, my jaw dropped open in disbelief: a compact pickup truck sped towards us, bumping and lurching in the bad dirt road. Three guys were sitting in the front while three guys were standing in the back and leaning forward into the truck's roof. All of them had rifles, except the center guy inside the cabin. The driver had one hand on the steering wheel and another on his rifle, which was resting on the rear-view mirror! Guns were pointing in four or five different directions.
      Beer was flowing freely, while a seventh guy was seated on the icebox in the back of the truck, stoned out of his mind and finishing off a full joint all by himself, while holding his upright rifle between his knees. It was un-fucking-believable. Finally, a bizarre little twist - one of the guys was on vacation from studying to become a catholic priest!!!
      However, I must admit that the grilled rabbit was quite excellent, and next morning three of the guys woke up early, grabbed some fishing poles, walked down a canyon leading to the ocean, and returned with fish for breakfast. Call them what you may, but they knew how to get food and cook a great meal.

      --
      Lil' Thindime, lilting a lacrimose lament, krashes the kwaint konfines of Kokonino Kounty
    8. Re:Jarts is #1! by pipingguy · · Score: 1

      "Nearly" would seem to be the key word here. Why didn't it happen?

    9. Re:Jarts is #1! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You're a Republican, right?

    10. Re:Jarts is #1! by moeinvt · · Score: 1

      I had my first rifle at age 10, but I had long since learned that it wasn't a "toy". I didn't get a real sniper rifle until much later however. Too bad. At age 3 I probably could have figured out that aiming at your head was a bad idea.

      The U.S. is a giant regulatory padded cell that prevents proper filtering and chlorinization of the gene pool.

      It's bad enough when kids are too dumb to realize that metal darts are dangerous and hot things burn your skin. It's even worse when I have to pay extra for a lawnmower with an "operator present" handle to account for the moron who would stick his hand into the blade when the motor is running.

    11. Re:Jarts is #1! by Nf1nk · · Score: 1

      You played safely with klackers? the origanal ones with the string before they put on the stiff plastic that let anybody use them?
      I remeber those things even when you used them correctly they would nail you in the wrist with enough force to leave a nasty bruse, and when the string broke there is a good chance somethinge else would too

      --
      I used to have a cool sig, back when I cared
    12. Re:Jarts is #1! by russotto · · Score: 1

      The most dangerous thing about Jarts, IMO, is if you got one caught up in a tree and then tried to shake it down. Aerodynamics means it'll come point down, and Murphy's law guarantees that it's aimed right for your head.

      The mini-hammock was apparently just plain defective. Without the spreader bars it's more like a mini-net. The illustration in the ad seemed to show spreader bars.

    13. Re:Jarts is #1! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That's frequently a bad combination of anything.

      Haha...you start by naming two specific things that make a bad combination, but instead of substituting one of the things to make another bad combination, you did substitute both things, thereby stating that a combination of any two things at all in any proportion is frequently bad. That's a logical absurdity!

    14. Re:Jarts is #1! by Frumious+Wombat · · Score: 1

      Having played horseshoes in grad school, i.e. thrown heavy metal objects around at dusk after consuming fermented substances, I can't believe that Jarts were *that* much more dangerous than classic horseshoes, unless the latter just required too hard of a throw to be interesting.

      --
      the more accurate the calculations became, the more the concepts tended to vanish into thin air. R. S. Mulliken
    15. Re:Jarts is #1! by Brandybuck · · Score: 1

      I guess it mildly annoys me because they aren't that dangerous if you know how to use them properly.

      I agree. With even minimal adult supervision, there's no problem with them. It's a heavy metal toy meant to stick in stuff, so only idiot parents would let their kids use them unattended.

      I feel sorry for children who have stupid parents, but that's no excuse to punish the children of intelligent parents.

      --
      Don't blame me, I didn't vote for either of them!
    16. Re:Jarts is #1! by jorghis · · Score: 1

      I think the reason that handle exists is to handle the case where someone slips and falls while mowing up a hill or something. That way he wont have an out of control mower falling after him. It makes good sense for it to be there from a safety standpoint for people who know better than to stick their head in a lawnmower. People slip and fall all the time, especially when trying to manuever a 100 pound piece of equipment over uneven ground.

    17. Re:Jarts is #1! by Teddy+Beartuzzi · · Score: 1

      Sure. Occasionally you missed, and it would sting a bit. That was part of the *fun*, laughing like a hyena when your buddy nailed himself. Never had one break.

    18. Re:Jarts is #1! by edschurr · · Score: 1

      Has anybody made safer lawn-darts? Ground is more difficult to pierce than people*, so maybe a duller nose with a spring that disconnects backwards if pushed enough, and a softer base, or also a base that breaks apart once the spring-trigger trips, or even a base with perpendicularly loaded springs.

      You heard it hear first. No patent for you.

      * I mean, presumably. What do I know...

    19. Re:Jarts is #1! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      your .sig leads me to my own journal, which has no entries, BTW.

    20. Re:Jarts is #1! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      For fun I used to toss lawn darts really, really high into the air in my back yard. They would come down, point first as they are designed to do, and bury themselves in the ground. When I say bury themselves, I mean that that often every last part of dart, all the way to the tips of the fins would be underground! It seems like the things were able to capture a bit more energy than, for example, if I were swinging a hammer as hard as I could. There's no doubt in my mind that hitting pretty much anyone in the head with one of those things thrown that way would fracture their skull. And it's not just like tossing a horshoe or a hammer in the air, even though those are also dangerous. First of all, those aren't as tempting to toss, secondly, they aren't designed with a sharpened (admittedly only slightly) point that always ends up pointing straight down after a toss. Overall, you can do stupid, dangerous things with almost any object, but lawn darts do have a slight edge in potential for causing death.

    21. Re:Jarts is #1! by Teddy+Beartuzzi · · Score: 1

      Ah, thanks for that. Must have screwed it up sometime. No wonder no one ever helps me find that song. :)

    22. Re:Jarts is #1! by Ilovejarts · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Hey folks! You all may want to check out http://www.jartparts.com/ and http://www.tossinggames.com/ ( Subpage: http://www.jartsgame.com/ ). Great resources for this banned yard game.

  11. Kinda Surprised by camperdave · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I'm kind of surprised that chemistry sets and wood burning kits failed to make the list. Nothing says child safety like hot sharp iron and alcohol burners.

    --
    When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
    1. Re:Kinda Surprised by zuiraM · · Score: 1

      I've had both, and never had any accidents.

      Why? Because my parents made sure I knew to respect sharp edges and open flames.

      Time for parents to grow up and take some responsibility. If your kid isn't mature enough, or responsible enough, to play with a toy, then that toy is in no way something you should let your kid play with.

      Note that I'm not talking about the hammock or stuff like that here, 'cause that isn't really all that intuitive to some.

      My SO grew up with a kid whose parents were high level ski-shooters, and she played with firearms from a very young age. They knew how to handle one, and made sure she knew to do so too before she was allowed to play with them. Parental supervision of play with potentially dangerous toys is essential until you *know* they have proper respect for the dangers involved.

      She also grew up with another kid who never got any dangerous toys, who nonetheless managed to injure himself and others repeatedly through irresponsible behaviour.

      It's not the toys. It's the parents who don't spend time with their kids and take responsibility for the safety of the kids, and kids who are too irresponsible to be safe to themselves and their surroundings regardless of what you do.

  12. Pratchett's Hogfather by Ridcully · · Score: 5, Funny

    For some reason I'm thinking of the following exchange in "Hogfather":

    The mother took a deep breath.
    "You can't give her that!" she screamed. "It's not safe!"
    IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather, IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.
    "She's a child!" shouted Crumley.
    IT'S EDUCATIONAL.
    "What if she cuts herself?"
    THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.

    1. Re:Pratchett's Hogfather by toejam316 · · Score: 1

      I love that book, the god of hangovers XD This list is pretty intresting. I want that science kit. Hey neighbour, press this button when I'm 500 yards away!

    2. Re:Pratchett's Hogfather by Ridcully · · Score: 2, Informative

      I always re-read it during the Holidays. That's why it's presently fresh in my mind. :)

      Sky One will be broadcasting a 2 part adaptation of Hogfather on the 17th and 18th of this month. Too bad I'm stuck in the US. I guess if the reviews are good, I'll buy the DVD.

    3. Re:Pratchett's Hogfather by dunkelfalke · · Score: 1

      the "oh god" of hangovers actually ;-)

      --
      Conservatism: The fear that somewhere, somehow, someone you think is your inferior is being treated as your equal.
    4. Re:Pratchett's Hogfather by advocate_one · · Score: 2, Informative

      oh how apt... Sky One in the UK are showing part one of their adaptation on Sunday evening 8 pm GMT followed by the final part on Christmas Eve. Hopefully someone will have the decency to put up torrents...

      --
      Donald 'Duck' Dunn: We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline.
    5. Re:Pratchett's Hogfather by Eli+Gottlieb · · Score: 1

      Actually, looks like there's a podcast.

    6. Re:Pratchett's Hogfather by ebers · · Score: 1

      Swords...
      Reminds me of a guy I know who as a boy was fascinated by his father's Katana, which was strictly off limits (and therefore even more interesting). So one day he gets it down off the wall and sets it across his legs as he sits in a chair. And he turns it over and over and examines it in fascination. And then he notices that it has cut deeply into his legs just by its own weight.

  13. Needs chemistry lesson by bky1701 · · Score: 4, Informative

    Uranium-238 generates no alpha-radiation, it generates BETA radiation. You know, same stuff that the Potassium in you generates. U-238 is about as unsafe as lead for the same reasons (being a heavy metal), but radiation is not one.

    1. Re:Needs chemistry lesson by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Oops, just realized I confused U-238 with another isotope. Still the idea is the same, the effects would be minimal as far as radiation goes, in fact less then I thought.

    2. Re:Needs chemistry lesson by tomjen · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Until such time you burn it. The problem with the gulf syndrom is that you inhale U-238 dust. An alpha emitter would kill you in enough of the stuff is inhalede (or digested).

      --
      Freedom or George Bush
    3. Re:Needs chemistry lesson by dasunt · · Score: 1

      But is that any more dangerous than a regular chemistry set?

      I assume at that time that it was possible to buy chemistry sets that offered dangerous chemical combinations. How much worse is a weak radiation source?

    4. Re:Needs chemistry lesson by gijoel · · Score: 5, Funny

      Hey kids!

      Sick of being bullied.

      Too many enemies saying nasty stuff about you.

      Then you need the Russian Mafia Chemistry kit. Now with Polonium 210!!

    5. Re:Needs chemistry lesson by russotto · · Score: 1

      U-238 decays to Thorium-234 by alpha emission, not beta. If it underwent beta decay it would produce Np-238 which would then decay to Pu-238, and plutonium would be a lot more common than it is.

    6. Re:Needs chemistry lesson by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And to earn street cred, tell them it's not just Polonium 210,

      It's Polnium 210 from Boris! The Bullet Dodger!

    7. Re:Needs chemistry lesson by rossifer · · Score: 1

      Um you've got something mixed up somewhere. U238 is an alpha emitter. However the byproducts are mostly beta emitters, so a sample of uranium ore will tend to emit more beta than alpha particles.

      Alpha radiation is also less harmful than beta radiation. An alpha particle is a fully ionized helium nucleus, while a beta particle is a high-energy electron. Alpha radiation is stopped fully by a sheet of paper, an inch or two of air, the first few layers of dead cells in your skin. Beta radiation can penetrate into the human body quite some distance, and is possibly much more dangerous, depending on the energy of the specific beta particle.

      Alpha emitters are only dangerous when powdered and consumed or made into a bioavailable form and taken up in tissues. The same cannot be said for beta emitters.

      Ross

  14. You're right... by thrill12 · · Score: 1

    ...but we were talking about the parents here I think ?

    --
    Slashdot: stuff for news, nerds that matter, matter for news, stuff that nerd
  15. Some observations by soft_guy · · Score: 4, Interesting

    One thing that was somewhat surprising was that a few girl toys made the list (cabbage patch and sky dancers).

    Also, the motorcycle one that jams the throttle sounds really dangerous. The kids didn't do anything wrong - it was just defective.

    I'm surprised the Honda Kick and Go didn't make the list. I remember that I got one of those as a kid just before they were pulled off the market because they were dangerous (I'm not sure exactly why they were dangerous.)

    My parents still have mine, I think. The last time I was at their house, they had my daughter riding it and I was like "no way - those things were recalled" and they were like "you rode it and you are still alive" and I was all like "yeah, and you guys kept a vicious dog that mauled children and I have scars on my face to prove it, so I'm not interested in hearing parenting advice from you".

    So, there you go.

    --
    Avoid Missing Ball for High Score
    1. Re:Some observations by pembo13 · · Score: 1

      As dangerous as the motorcycle one is, it was really funny to picture.

      --
      "Thanks for all the money you paid to us. We've used it to buy off ISO among other things" -Microsoft
    2. Re:Some observations by topham · · Score: 1


      Those scars are a badge of honor, denying your child the same honor is just wrong.

      Most of my scars were caused by my sisters, no toys required. (No, I don't mean emotional scars either.).

    3. Re:Some observations by soft_guy · · Score: 1

      Those scars are a badge of honor, denying your child the same honor is just wrong. I should get a viscious dog and let it bite her on the face? Mmmm...No.
      --
      Avoid Missing Ball for High Score
    4. Re:Some observations by Rachel+Lucid · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Sky Dancers shocked me too - I LOVED those things.

      Course, I knew better than to let gyrating helicopters loose in the house - come on, I learned that with the little fifty-cent whirligigs that you spun by hand. The difference was that when Sky Dancers went, they went HARD, so the trouble was moreso.

      Anyone who was dumb enough to let this thing loose indoors or aim them at their little brother should've had it coming, but hey, I guess that's why it made the list - Not enough parents letting their girls have their hands on 'tough' toys.

    5. Re:Some observations by A_Non_Moose · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I'm surprised the Honda Kick and Go didn't make the list. I remember that I got one of those as a kid just before they were pulled off the market because they were dangerous (I'm not sure exactly why they were dangerous.)

      Dangerous only during periods of insanity/lapsed judgement common in pre-teens.

      Case in point: me.

      Unlike the blade-scooters of today, these things had the gearing and metal-tube construction of a single speed bike. Unlike the blades, they had wheels that were worth a damn at about a 5" diameter.

      You could get that thing moving at a decent clip, I know.

      Picture getting one of these things at top speed, 4X's what a kid could run.

      No picture a 50 to 60 yards stretch of road that goes down at a 15degree angle and then makes a 90degree turn right, then to my house.

      I built up speed, went down the decline, took the turn as close to the inside as possible (which worked as the inside was well rounded toward the drain) as sharp as possible.
      I cleared the turn, only to have the "mound" the road formed meet the metal tubing.

      What happend then, well, I wish there was a 3rd person view available of this:

      In two blinks of an eye, the metal met the road, slid on the tube for 3ft (judging by the scrapes and red paint left behind), I corrected, the tires met, grabbed the road and sent the entire frame (and me) to the opposite direction. I did a flip/roll in mid air, the scooter slammed to the ground, and I landed on my side, still rolling, two feet away from the grass on my front lawn.

      Bruised and bleeding a little, and peppered with stones, what did I do?

      Laughed my ass off. How funny that must have looked. How funny I felt doing it.

      I did it again, to see if I could repeat it. Only to do a full split that brought tears to my eyes. Then I hobbled home with the Kick 'n Go in tow.

      Mom asked what happened and I just said I wiped out, no big deal.

      Yeah, the only thing dangerous about the KnG was the driver/operator. (IMO, naturally)

      --
      Have you read the moderator guidelines? Well, have you, PUNK? (and I want a Karma: Gnarly option)
    6. Re:Some observations by GrahamCox · · Score: 1

      I was like "no way - those things were recalled" and they were like "you rode it and you are still alive" and I was all like "yeah, ...

      And I'm like, wtf? What's wrong with the verb "said"?

    7. Re:Some observations by soft_guy · · Score: 1

      The subtle difference between the way I wrote it and using the word "said" is that I'm conveying the fact that I don't remember the conversation verbatim.

      --
      Avoid Missing Ball for High Score
  16. Mandatory safety journalism by ishmalius · · Score: 1

    A few months ago there was an article at Poynter.org, about how journalists hate getting assignments for these seasonal safety articles even more than people hate reading them. Christmas, New Years, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, all annual observances that "we all experience together," strike fear and loathing into journalists, who cower under their desks when the editor approaches.

  17. Water rockets by ishmalius · · Score: 1

    You are probably right, but I think that water rockets for kids under 6 are almost as scary (fun). I had a blast with those. They can be very powerful. One can have a lot of (mass x velocity) by the time it hits and shatters a window.

  18. MIRV's for kids: the Stewie Griffin story by sporkme · · Score: 4, Funny

    I am actually disappointed that the old model rockets did not make it onto the blacklist! Those freaking things really were dangerous. I had a quad-E engine 2-stager that could lift several hands full of nails over 500 feet into the air, and then dump them when the chute was deployed. Don't ask me why I know this... ask the local police. I also used them as "nukes" in bottle rocket fights with the other one-eyed freaks in the neighborhood. Counterbalance a duct taped egg onto one of those babies and gauge the trajectory properly, then you were invincible!

    1. Re:MIRV's for kids: the Stewie Griffin story by ColdWetDog · · Score: 1
      That's cuz they aren't TOYS! They're real, live learning experiences. It takes some talent and experimentation (as well as an understanding of basic ballistics) to tape a couple of firecrackers under the nose cone and get them to ignite when the ejection charge on the engine lit off.

      Hours of work and study. And that was before even electronic calculators. We could probably do MIRVs on a modern PC... I'll have to go look those little things up.

      --
      Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
    2. Re:MIRV's for kids: the Stewie Griffin story by Amazing+Quantum+Man · · Score: 1

      Yeah, but as I recall, you had to get your parents to buy the E and F engines (and maybe the Ds as well).

      --
      Fascism starts when the efficiency of the government becomes more important than the rights of the people.
    3. Re:MIRV's for kids: the Stewie Griffin story by Inthewire · · Score: 0

      Shoplifting

      --


      Writers imply. Readers infer.
  19. The motorcycle.... by OfficeSubmarine · · Score: 2, Funny

    Even adults can barely contain their jealousy when the little brat from down the block whizzes by on that shiny plastic hog.

    Much like Seinfeld and people who owned a pony as a child, so am I and people who owned these things. My cousins had not one, but two of them. A fact that they never seemed to realize meant that they should give me one. Despite the fact that I told that to them constantly.

    1. Re:The motorcycle.... by OfficeSubmarine · · Score: 1

      All this is making me feel better about hanging on to childhood powerwheels envy. There should be a support group somewhere, as this obviously isn't an isolated event.

    2. Re:The motorcycle.... by bhtooefr · · Score: 1

      I had one that had no battery or motor.

      Simplicate, then add lightness!

    3. Re:The motorcycle.... by ceoyoyo · · Score: 1

      Oh yeah? They didn't HAVE Power Wheels when I was a kid. I'm still jealous. I remember watching one of the commercials with some friends in college. Obviously we were too big, so we had to settle for taking a big tractor inner tube out to the local tobogganing hill. Well, beside the local tobogganing hill. The part that was steeper, with trees, and a river at the bottom.

    4. Re:The motorcycle.... by penguinwhoflew · · Score: 1

      Same here. Funny thing is, about 7 years later, while I was begging my mom to let me have her car when I got my license, my cousins were arguing over which of their families five cars they would get. Some things never change...

  20. I loved the hammock by SuperKendall · · Score: 4, Funny

    I used to have the cheap hammock when I was a kid - is was great, because without a bar you really could wrap it around yourself like a cocoon and then have someone swing you for a full 360 loop. I'm rather surprised they were strong enough to hold...

    --
    "There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
    1. Re:I loved the hammock by SeaFox · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I wish my memories of it were as good. I had one and it was hard to get positioned in it in a way where you didn't feel that one side was being supported more than the other. The open net was great for catching on the pocket corners of jeans. Overall they felt so unstable I was afraid to actually fall asleep in one.

      In fact, that was what led to be no longer using it. I was attempting to free my ass from the hammock (where the seams of my jeans had become caught in the net, and I flipped the hammock over and dumped myself face-first on the ground. It was only a two or three foot fall, but I ended up landing on my arm funny and broke my wrist.

      Never felt the urge to lay in a hammock again.

    2. Re:I loved the hammock by Peyna · · Score: 1

      It closely resembles a typical Mayan hammock. They can sleep families of 4 or 5 in one hammock even. Little kids don't usually sleep in them alone. It's not really a design flaw, it's just not supposed to be a child's toy. It's a BED!

      --
      What?
    3. Re:I loved the hammock by Provocateur · · Score: 1

      My favorite part was doing the Dallas bit from Alien and saying the classic line, Kill me....

      And here I am now a healthy adult. With issues, but that's beside the point.
       

      --
      WARNING: Smartphones have side effects--most of them undocumented.
    4. Re:I loved the hammock by SuperKendall · · Score: 1

      In fact, that was what led to be no longer using it. I was attempting to free my ass from the hammock (where the seams of my jeans had become caught in the net, and I flipped the hammock over and dumped myself face-first on the ground. It was only a two or three foot fall, but I ended up landing on my arm funny and broke my wrist.

      Not to make light of what I'm sure was a pretty painful event, but one thing I used to enjoy was turning upside down in the hammock and them opening it up to fall out onto the gound below... So I always considered the ground-dumping a feature!

      I do kind of remember it catching on jans though...

      --
      "There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
  21. Tonka Toy Trucks by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Do you remember those steel Tonka Trucks? The ones that were big enough you could bend over as a small kid and 'drive' them around?

    When I was a kid, I remember this kid named Don who lived down the street from me. One afternoon he drove his dump truck over to another neighbor's house who happen to be baby sitting me and my siblings. He came running up the sidewalk leaned down with his head tilted up looking at us screaming his head off as he was faking running us down with his truck. He didn't notice an uneven step in the sidewalk and it caught the front tires of the truck and stopped the truck cold. Since he wasn't expecting it, his arms buckled and he fell teeth first onto the back of the truck slicing his lip just under his nose and removing several of his top front teeth.

    When he stood up, and it was like slow motion, his upper lip fell down below his lower lip, but still connected on either side. He made a spitting motion and what looked like bleeding cicklets fell on the sidewalk. He looked down and then up and wiped his mouth and when he moved his hand, I could see his tongue exploring the hole where is teeth and lip used to be. And then it was just like a fountain turning on, everything went very bloody and he began to scream. He cupped his mouth with both hands and ran home with a very distinctive trail of blood following him. Later, his mom returned to collect his teeth so they could be reinserted, but the teeth were wrecked. Most of them weren't even connected to the root(?) anymore, but sheared clean off.

    Don moved a few years later but I hardly ever saw him again. His face was really disfigured and the wound was obvious. He was self conscious of it and I know he got made fun of.

    I just remember how popular those toys were. I had the grader, but it wasn't as good for 'driving' around so I never did. Considering what happened to Don now that I'm grown-up, thank dog.

    1. Re:Tonka Toy Trucks by unfunk · · Score: 1

      I was at Toys R Us for their "Midnight Launch" of the Nintendo Wii the other night (I didn't get mine until 3.25am, but that's another story...), and during the wait in line, I got to peruse through the toys that the line snaked past.
      Imagine my horror to find that Tonka Trucks are now made of plastic! How on earth can they live up to the reputation of being "Tonka Tough" if they're made from a soft, somewhat malleable material?

      My Tonka Truck lasted me a good five years, and it was a hand-me-down! I seriously doubt that any modern one would last that long...

    2. Re:Tonka Toy Trucks by Legion303 · · Score: 1

      I had some of those when I was younger, and my three-year-old has some of the old metal ones too. I refuse to buy the plastic shit Tonka passes off these days--if I can't swing it around and smash wood planks with it, it isn't a Tonka.

      I would submit the harmless looking Big Wheel to this list, if only because I rode one right off the bed of a parked pickup when I was ~6 and chipped an incisor on the pavement (don't ask me why I put it in there in the first place--probably because I was a kid). In my teenage years, various dentists offered to grind it down and cap it, but I refused every time. I wanted a permanent reminder of the importance of not being an idiot. Sometimes it even works.

    3. Re:Tonka Toy Trucks by Alioth · · Score: 1

      It's funny - my Dad has a similar story, except he chipped a tooth with a (metal) toy gun. He's never had the chip repaired either, although dentists always offer.

      But Tonka trucks own. I had one when I was a kid which must have been a couple of generations hand-me-down (it was a bit rusty). It was fantastic fun in the snow, making snow constructions with Tonka diggers and dump trucks. Probably what made them rust!

    4. Re: Tonka Toy Trucks by zoward · · Score: 1

      It's not surprising given the legal climate of the US. A playmate used to beat me over the head with one of those metal Tonka trucks in the sandbox when I was four years old. Notwithstanding, I'd still buy the metal ones for my son if they were available. He's about four ... but we don't have a sandbox ...

      --
      "Can't you see that everyone is buying station wagons?"
    5. Re:Tonka Toy Trucks by Dunbal · · Score: 1

      Most of them weren't even connected to the root(?) anymore, but sheared clean off.

            He probably had a LeFort I fracture (http://www.rad.washington.edu/mskbook/facialfx.ht ml), the mechanism sounds right. Oh and I've had that pleasure with a Tonka truck and a grate, but I didn't break anything thank goodness. Just did a lot of bleeding :)

      --
      Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
    6. Re:Tonka Toy Trucks by tuxicle · · Score: 1

      This could have happened to him had he been running towards you and he tripped on the uneven step on the sidewalk. So should they ban the sidewalk or running?

    7. Re:Tonka Toy Trucks by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      My brothers and i had a couple of these tonka dump trucks. We got pretty good at riding them like skates. Maybe a couple cuts that left cool scars, but nothing serious ever happend to us.

    8. Re:Tonka Toy Trucks by PlusFiveTroll · · Score: 1

      He didn't notice an uneven step in the sidewalk and it caught the front tires of the truck and stopped the truck cold. Since he wasn't expecting it, his arms buckled and he fell teeth first onto the back of the truck slicing his lip just under his nose and removing several of his top front teeth.

      Saw a person fall on a concrete step with the same effect. Time to make the stairs out of plastic around here.

  22. typical science stupidity by oohshiny · · Score: 3, Interesting

    A cloud chamber and a small amount of radioactive isotopes are not dangerous, at least not any more than common household chemicals. And while they may have been "linked to Gulf war syndrome", the US military claims it's harmless and has not trouble using it around civilians in large amounts.

    It's a disgrace that this science kit is found among a list of dangerous toys; the journalist should be ashamed of his ignorance.

    1. Re:typical science stupidity by Daniel+Dvorkin · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I agree with your post overall, but --

      the US military claims it's harmless and has not trouble using it around civilians in large amounts

      Speaking as a Gulf War vet who has seen many of his fellow vets suffer from GWS, and has also observed the stonewalling they've received (first the military denied that the disease existed at all, and when that stopped working, disclaimed any responsibility) I have to say, that's not exactly a ringing endorsement.

      --
      The correlation between ignorance of statistics and using "correlation is not causation" as an argument is close to 1.
    2. Re:typical science stupidity by oohshiny · · Score: 1

      Well, I was simply pointing out a double standard: domestically, people get hysterical about negligible amounts, but people have no qualms dumping huge quantities of it on foreign kids.

      In any case, given that even exposed to massive amounts, we can't clearly attribute GWS to depleted uranium, it's a pretty safe bet that Johnny isn't going to get sick from the miniscule amount needed to see radiation in a cloud chamber. Vets and Iraqi children, on the other hand, probably are at some risk.

  23. wego kite tube by werdnapk · · Score: 1

    A more recent candidate for the list... the wego kite tube.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEgTzSrTDMI

    This thing isn't on the market for obvious reasons. :)

  24. To keep things interesting? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    To keep things interesting, the editors excluded BB guns, slingshots, throwing stars, and anything else actually intended to inflict harm.
    Perhaps they didn't include those items in an article about toys because those items are ... not toys.
  25. Re:Asshole by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Actually, most of the playgrounds I see today are made out of metal coated with rubber, which is much more durable than wood. The only plastic parts are slides, roofs, and some of the toys (beanbag toss, slats in log bridges, etc.)

    And I have to say the metal playgrounds are miles better than the "awesome wood playgrounds" they replaced. Wood playgrounds were shitty--they were built small, often very unimiganitive design-wise, they splintered terribly, and they were never maintained.

    As for gravel--that's the second worst to use on a playground* and I've never understood why people would choose it. Sand is much better, and I see sand a lot more often than I see rubber mats (which are actually quite hard) or shredded rubber.

    Of course, my experience with playgrounds may not be representative, since I live in a pretty affluent area and thus we can probably afford more expensive gear.

    I'm not entirely sure why you're so hostile about it. It's a playground. Get over it.

    *The first worst is woodchips. Yes, I've seen it once. It didn't last long because the kids kept scraping the shit out of themselves.

  26. Huh. by Cyno01 · · Score: 1

    I bought a cheap hammock without bars 2 years ago at wal-mart for my dorm. Under the loft, above the futon. Dont pass out drunk in a crappy hammock though, you will wake up with a sore neck. Or completely wrapped up and turned upside down in it as several people found out...

    --
    "Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus Rex."
  27. Wham-o by the_tsi · · Score: 4, Funny

    Wham-O had at least two products that should be good candidates for the above list, but I didn't see them.

    First (and more obvious), the Slip N Slide, and all of its various incarnations and copycats.

    Second, was a sort of tetherball variant they sold in ~1985 called "Zing Zang". It featured an adjustable steel pole with a spike on one end (designed to be inserted into the ground), and a wire coil on the other end, onto which a cord with a captive tennis ball was attached. The tennis ball cord would theoretically start in the middle, with each player (holding a hard plastic "raquet") assigned a different direction (clockwise or counterclockwise). The goal was to get to the top or bottom of the coil to win. But most kids I knew would just swing the pole around like a giant two-handed flail, bringing down tennis ball torture on opponents... while trailing a steel spike behind them that would often go forgotten until it lodged in someone else's knees or groin or chest.

    1. Re:Wham-o by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Ahh, the Slip-n-Slide. A neighbor had one of those. I remember getting all kinds of bruises from that thing.

      I remember a movie (no clue which one) where they were using a Slip-n-Slide in a dorm hallway. Occasionally that movie scene comes back to me when I am at my part-time job. My part-time job is at an "Adult Novelty" store, or in common sense terms, a sex toy store. I have groups of college kids come in on weekends and sometimes overhear stories they tell of "wacky" behavior. Depending on the vibe (no pun intended) I get from them or if they ask about lube, sometimes I will inform them that Silicone lubricant is long lasting and very slick, and can stay slick in the water. Then I will throw out a random statement like "Imagine a Slip-n-Slide in a dorm hallway using Silicone lube, no water damage to the hall, just make sure you don't fall in the shower afterwards." They laugh and let it go, but some of them seem to be thinking how great that would be. Just think of it, putting pillows all down the hallway, laying a Slip-n-Slide on them and then rubbing the slide down with silicone lube. Seems fun, and the pillows can help keep you from getting extremely hurt, and this can be done in the winter time as well. Okay, I will shut up now and keep my thoughts to myself.

    2. Re:Wham-o by jonmcnamara · · Score: 1

      Yeah how is the Slip & Slid not on this list? I remember that as a kid we had one with a ramp and "splash pool" at the end of it, except we always set it up going downhill with the objective to ramp the splash pool. Also the company that produced those "pegs" for bikes so people can stand on the axis of your front wheel and on the back. Full speed down a hill with 3 people on 1 mountain bike, middle of the road, no helmets. The only way to do it.

    3. Re:Wham-o by Joel+from+Sydney · · Score: 1

      Most kids I knew had a tether tennis game like the one you describe, but I don't ever remember anyone getting injured from it. Sure, you'd cop a ball in the face every now and then, but that was part of the fun! Mind you, I don't think anyone ever used it in the fashion you described.

  28. Think of the children! by symes · · Score: 1

    I'm all for kids learning through play and as a kid some of the most dangerous things I played with were motorways, tall trees, cigarettes, alcohol and... well you get the idea. This top-ten list is a hoot - and I can sort of see why poisonous plastic things might not make a great present. But you have to wonder when those responsible for controlling what kids have acess to start insisting all apple trees have matresses put under them, just in case. And in so doing, take away all the fun of real world learning - it's one thing being told that something is dangerous but far better and fun to learn first hand that snipping a worm in two doesn't make two worms, only two halves and a bit of goo.

  29. People need to get real by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    This whole 'unsafe toy' argument is a cop out. Last time I check my house had toxic materials, choke, and inhalation hazards all over the place.

    What makes the place safe is a parent who uses some common sense and judgement. Parents used to be able to give their 10 year old child a .22 calibre rifle and ammunition without fear of being seen as some kind of nutcase. These days parents with the same are viewed as a threat.

    Ultimately the world is a dangerous place - for the careless and ignorant. The point should not be to keep children isolated from these risks, but to raise and educate them to manage to live with them sensibly.

    The beatup is typically a combination of small people needing a forum in which they can be important, and protecting manufacturers from circumstances where a good dose of personal liability and contributory negligence on the parent should be considered.

    It's not the world, it's not the children - it's the parents who need protecting

    1. Re:People need to get real by Overzeetop · · Score: 1

      Parents used to be able to give their 10 year old child a .22 calibre rifle and ammunition without fear of being seen as some kind of nutcase.

      One of my good friends gave his boy a rifle when he was four or five, I think. He was riding a four-wheeler at (double digit ccs, I think) six. By seven he'd taken a 6 point buck. He's a good kid, but his father also supervises him very closely, and is adamant about safety (gear and methods). I once saw the kid get on the four wheeler without his shoulder pads. He was in his room in five minutes, and the next time he got to ride was two weeks later.

      At t-giving this year, my 4 year old daughter was reaching for a candle to blow it out. My wife, right next to her, told here to be careful and not tip it. Well, she grabbed it and moved it towards her. And tipped it. And got hot wax on her hand. She stiffened, blew out the candle, looked at my wife with that "uh oh" look, and my wife cleaned the wax off. My wife know the wax would be hot, but not seriously injure her. My daughter didn't cry because she knew she'd been warned (and there were eight other adults around - she's a prideful thing). She was much more careful with the second candle. A good lesson, imho.

      As a kid I burned and cut myself too many times to remember. Personally, I'm not sure anybody kid respects something until they've been hurt by it. *shrug* We have "real" toys in my house. They can hurt, but it would take an awful lot of effort to seriously injure yourself with the toys she gets to play with "by herself".

      --
      Is it just my observation, or are there way too many stupid people in the world?
  30. Sure but... by brit74 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Sure they may be dangerous, *but you haven't lived* until you've driven your Power Wheels Motorcycle through a barrage of uranium tipped lawn jarts while navigating an obstacle course of hammocks.

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  32. Mr. Football! Rah! Rah! Rah! by localman · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I remember a toy that I had around 9 years old... it was called Mr. Football (and had a catchy jingle) and it was basically a device that threw football passes. Unlike some modern air gun versions that work only with soft foam footballs, Mr. Football was simply a timer and high-powered spring catapult. I begged for it, and my parents got it for me. But they realized it was dangerous and kept it locked up in the shed, only allowing my friends and I to use it while they were around. So of course I had to steal the key.

    This took only a day or two, and soon my friends and I had Mr. Football out and operating without any adults around. This was wonderful because we knew well that a football was about the least interesting thing you could load into a catapult. We started with rocks, then open soda cans, and eventually insects. It was extrodinarily fun. Until the accident.

    While trying to launch a caterpillar, we were waiting for the catapult to go off, when the little creature managed to get to the edge of Mr. Football's powerful plastic hand. With the timer only a couple seconds from going off, one of my friends went over to make sure the caterpillar didn't escape. I warned him to get away from the thing, but too late -- it went off and smacked him right in the face. He fell to the ground and was crying. We went over to check him out. He had a bright red abrasion on his cheekbone and brow, but he seemed okay at first. Then we noticed that his eye was filling with blood. Specifically the iris; the white was normal save for being a bit bloodshot, but the bottom half of the iris was filled with blood. He said he could see but that it was blurry. We sent him home and told him not to tell his mother or we'd all get in trouble.

    Of course we all got in trouble. He had to go and get several surgeries on his eye to correct the damage, and I was told it wouldn't ever be 100% again. He moved away a year later so I don't really know. A lawyer or someone like that came by once later to pick up the device, because I think there was a class action suit, though my family wasn't involved in that. I don't think the item was on store shelves a year later. Not sure how much my friend's injury had to do with that.

    Anyways, I was sort of hoping to see it on the list, but no dice.

    Cheers.

  33. Why is it... by dgg3565 · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    ...that certain articles tend to attract "Americans are dumb" comments like flies to dog poop? For the life of me, I can't think of anything that we do that is particularly more stupid than anything are friends across the pond (or other parts of the world) are capable of. I could certainly make a long enough list of idiotic things I've seen in other parts of the world.

    Perhaps one of the dumbest things we humans do is to turn a blind eye to our own stupidity, while pointing it out in others. So, to great extent, that is where common sense starts.

    1. Re:Why is it... by zuiraM · · Score: 1

      I think it's less of an issue with people thinking Americans are generally stupid, than thinking people are generally stupid but Americans get away with blaming others.

      It is rather odd, wouldn't you say, that a country that has had a history of thinking communism worse than atrocitous dictators would implement one of the core problems so effectively in their own justice system?

      You might want to have a look at the Stella Awards. Stuff like the most recent "winner", who bought a mobile home, put on the cruise control and left the wheel to go make food. Obviously, she crashed. She successfully sued and was awarded a ridiculous amount of money and a new mobile home for her stupidity. If it had happened anywhere else, she would have lost her driver's licence, been at the very least fined for the reckless endangerment of others in traffic, and possibly been subjected to a psychiatric evaluation to see if she could be turned loose on society once more or not.

      So, it's not so much that the rest of us think Americans are stupid, as we think that American culture (or at least their courtroom culture) encourages and rewards stupidity, while taking away any element of personal responsibility. :P

    2. Re:Why is it... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      >mobile home, put on the cruise control and left the wheel to go make food.

      That's a FOAF - "I heard it from a Friend Of A Friend" - a modern myth or urban legend. It baffles me how people fall for these things.

    3. Re:Why is it... by dgg3565 · · Score: 1

      People like a good story. And if it's true, all the better (whether it is or not). And I love how my comment on "all people are equally capable of stupidity and we should to our own flaws first" gets modded as flamebait. Nice...

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  35. The #1 Most Dangerous Toy by localman · · Score: 4, Insightful

    It has to be the bicycle, no? I distinctly remember my friends and I doing head on collisions on purpose on our bicycles. It was a form of jousting without the lances, I think. Man, the things you can get away with when you're under 100 lbs.

    Anyways, I think we should ban bicycles.

    Just kidding.

    1. Re:The #1 Most Dangerous Toy by Chmcginn · · Score: 1
      Without the lances? Where's the fun in that? One can find brooms, tree branches, and lacrosse sticks all over the average suburban neighborhood.

      Course, then my parents took my bike away from me for a month. But that's kinda to be expected.

      --
      Have you been touched by his noodly appendage?
    2. Re:The #1 Most Dangerous Toy by ThreeGigs · · Score: 1

      Actually, I'd nominate the basketball for most dangerous.
      35 chomped fingers (and ponytails?) versus how many jammed/broken fingers and sprained ankles? How many concussions from baseballs? Should pennies be outlawed because more of them are swallowed every year than all the parts from every toy on that list?

      I'm waiting for one of these days when a manufacturer, tired of all the litigation, files a countersuit accusing a parent of negligence. Of course, that'll never happen because it'd cost the manufacturer customer goodwill.

      Anything less dangerous than a basketball or penny doesn't need to be recalled, in my book.

    3. Re:The #1 Most Dangerous Toy by evilviper · · Score: 1
      It has to be the bicycle, no?

      Not likely. Certainly a large volume of scrapes and bruises, but deaths are quite low for the numbers of kids that own them.

      Of course, continuing on this line of thought... Perhaps automobiles would be a better candidate, with thousands of 16 and 17 year-olds being killed each year?
      --
      Slashdot gets worse every day... Pipedot: News for nerds, without the corporate slant
    4. Re:The #1 Most Dangerous Toy by smallmj · · Score: 1

      When I was I kids, we would stage gigantic crashes with our bicycles. We were playing CHiPs. Remember how that show always started with a huge pile up on the California freeways...

      --
      ------- Mark
    5. Re:The #1 Most Dangerous Toy by istartedi · · Score: 1

      Was it cold enough to sled where you were? For the relatively few hours spent on them, sleds have to be far more dangerous than bikes. We had a good hill that sloped towards another street. We didn't have those wimpy plastic sleds either. We had the good ol steel runner flexible flyer. Worst injury I ever saw was a hit on the head that resulted in blood coming out an ear. That guy was recovered 100% though. Usually it was just bumps and bruises, but you'd hear of the occasional broken bone. We never did car towing in our neighborhood, I guess because we had hills. Car towing causes a lot of accidents I think; but I don't know what the stats are.

      --
      For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
    6. Re:The #1 Most Dangerous Toy by localman · · Score: 1

      Oh -- very good point. Actually I did grow up in the Boston Area and so I did my share of sledding. For whatever reason I never sustained a serious injury, nor did my friends, so I didn't really consider it. But I remember a hill in Sharon Massachusetts called "Chemung". It was the ultimate sledding hill in the area -- long steep and wide. Kids would flock to it by the hundreds each weekend. At some point the authorities built large hill-like "barriers" at the bottom in an effort to discourage sledding. This only made it more fun as they worked as jumps. Later they planted some trees, which just provided for fun obsticles. I moved away before they did anything else, but I remember them running articles in the paper each weekend, warning of the dangers and listing the serious injuries, like broken finger and facial bones, and dislocated shoulders and such. I think they used to get 50 or so emergency room visits a week.

      Ah, the joys of childhood!

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  39. Mod parent up please by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Which is exactly what the US government and corporations don't want to happen. Look at the laws being enacted, the charges and/or suits being filed and the way our school system is run. Sure wouldn't have wanted people with these attitudes today back when me and my friends played chicken in the park with our ever present pocket knifes. Never even heard of anyone actually getting hurt while playing chicken, but then we usually didn't play chicken with someone whose knife throwing we didn't trust. Now we had a few make some awful faces while playing stretch with them, grab their groin and sit down for a while. We wandered the towns and countrysides with our pocket knives and either a bb gun, slingshot or a bow often. Every once in a while some property got damaged but was extremely rare that anyone got hurt to any degree worth complaining about. Often the slingshots and bows we made ourselves. Heck, we even used to make cannons with pipes and firecrackers or even some gunpowder some kid had made.

    Frankly we have been going downhill for years. I think we were more responsible as kids and our parents even more so when they were kids. Until our kids can roam around freely again and learn from exposure to things and doing they will never be as capable of taking care of themselves or feel as responsible to being a good citizen. If we keep crowding the kids into the cages of the public school system and locked into large group stuff after school we shouldn't be suprised when they start behaving the way rats do in overcrowded pens at the pet store. Same goes for adults!

    1. Re:Mod parent up please by kfg · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Look at the laws being enacted, the charges and/or suits being filed and the way our school system is run.

      http://www.thememoryhole.org/edu/school-mission.ht m

      Sure wouldn't have wanted people with these attitudes today back when me and my friends played chicken in the park with our ever present pocket knifes.

      I used to carry mine to school. Not only was I not considered armed and dangerous, but I was considered one of the "good little boys," who didn't stir up any trouble; unless a grownup did something downright stupid. Then they were in trouble. I homed right in on stupid.

      Frankly we have been going downhill for years.

      Ya wanna know how the terrorists are going to win? Well, oddly enough, I'm willing to tell you how they're going to win.

      No dirty nukes, no poisoning the water supply.

      They're just going to sneak into all of our homes and place a pea under each mattress; after which we will simply whine ourselves to fucking death.

      Why yes, I did take an extra spoonful of curmudgeon this morning. Why do you ask?

      KFG

    2. Re:Mod parent up please by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Link fits well with the comment I made, thanks. I carried my "ever present" knife to school too along with pretty much every boy in those days and before. Teachers then even expected boys to have one and sometimes the female teachers even asked to borrow one to cut something. Having their own knives in their pockets the males never did. Agree with your next statement about terrorism too, but they don't even have to sneak the pea in, the bad stitch will cause it.

      Might be amusing if some of the readers here look up research/history related to my rat comment that aren't already familiar with the subject.

    3. Re:Mod parent up please by psydad · · Score: 1

      Bravo - well put.

    4. Re:Mod parent up please by kfg · · Score: 1

      The entire book is worth the time it takes to read it:

      http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/underground/toc1.ht m

      He comes at the issue from a particular mindset, so I don't always agree with him on minor bits of philosophy, but he's got the gist of it and has researched the history well.

      See also the writings of John Holt; who after 20 years of trying to reform the system finally figured out that it was irredeamable by design and founded the modern home schooling movement:

      http://www.holtgws.com/index.html

      I was home schooled before John had his conversion and my family actually fled the country for the better part of a school year while the lawyer worked things out. One of the best experiences of my life.

      KFG

  40. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1

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  41. My cousins still have the scars. by forgotten_my_nick · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Sadly common sense and children are rarely together. My cousins have scars from Jarts (and then darts, and penknives).

    They used to play some kind of splits/chicken. They would throw the Jart left or right to the person and the person would need to do the splits. In order for it to count it would have to be thrown in range of the other person to pick up while making them go through the pain of moving the legs further apart.

    They got jarts in thier feet and legs.

    One of them also got one in the hand after they were playing some kind of knife throwing trick that you see in the circus.

  42. Re:Asshole by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting

    I had a wooden playground in Elementary school and it wasn't so great. It had some buried tires, a couple platforms, a weird wiggly balance beam thingy, some swings, and that was it.

    I can understand why you guys ignored the bean bag toss game, since it's designed for 2-5 year old children. Including that on an elementary school playgrounds is stupid.

    One of our evil metal and plastic playgrounds even has a TOWER with a cool chain ladder, a bendy piping ladder, a slide, a roof, and even a balcony. Other items on the plaground include a cootie house (with a little plastic counter to sell mudpies from and a plexiglass bubble window that everyone makes faces on), another slide, a fireman's pole, a rubber bridge, monkey bars, swings, and a broken zipglide (it gets replaced every year or so and lasts about three days before it's broken by five or six kids using it at the same time). I happen to think that's way cooler than a wooden playground which was disintigrating two years after it was installed.

  43. No mention of the water wiggle? by stinkytoe · · Score: 1

    The Water Wiggle was a toy which would attach to the end of a garden hose, and jet the water out of a plastic hood looking thing in such a manner as to chaotically fly around the lawn. Responsible for at least one death according to this page.

    I am not old enough to have experienced this thing myself, but have heard horror stories both from my parents and a and the mother of a friend of mine. She actually knew someone who was seriously messed up by one when she was growing up. Surprising it wasn't mentioned in this particular article.

    1. Re:No mention of the water wiggle? by heroofhyr · · Score: 1

      Responsible for at least one death according to this page. That's got to be an embarrassing tombstone.

      HERE LIES SUCH AND SUCH
      STRUCK DOWN IN HIS YOUTH
      BY A GIANT PLASTIC CLITORIS
      WITH A SNAGGLY TOOTH

      http://www.digitalflotsam.com/archives/thekiller.j pg
      --
      brandelf: invalid ELF type 'KEEBLER'
  44. They really did miss this one by sa1lnr · · Score: 0
  45. Re:Asshole by Venerable+Vegetable · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Wow, you're rude, an idiot and got modded insightful. Congratulations.

    First of all, being made of wood doesn't make a toy awesome. You can make a plastic replica of any toy and it will be exactly the same. Except it won't be wood. Big deal. Half my toys were wood, the other were plastic. I din't care, I didn't even notice. I was too busy playing with them.

    You don't like the plastic toys from today? I think that has more to do with you "growing up" from an imaginative child into a cinical adult.

    By the way, there are lots of reasons for using plastic. For example it's easier to produce (and color), cheaper, cleaner, lighter. Especially early plastics were not safe at all and ALSO splintered.
    The same applies to rubber mats. Much easier to clean, easier to use.

    Oh, and yes modern materials are safer. How unfortunate! If you think that taking risks is essential to having fun (and life in general) then something is wrong with your head. Personally, I like to not having to fear for my life all the time. There are plenty of other challenges left.
    Also, of course parents should look after their own children. But doesn't that also mean providing a safe environment for them?

    Oh and one more thing, guess what material the toy in question was made of?

  46. Scars by tsa · · Score: 2, Insightful

    A friend of mine who has a one year old kid once said to me: "he [the kid] hasn't lived when he doesn't have any scars when he reaches puberty." My friend is right of course. There are toys in that list that I would gladly give my kids, if I had any. The Sky Dancers, the cannon and the Creepy Crawlers I think are particularly cool and not too dangerous.

    --

    -- Cheers!

  47. "toy safety" is counter to the purpose of play by plasmacutter · · Score: 5, Interesting

    What happened to the idea of kids playing to practice for the real world?

    That's the purpose of play for the rest of the animal kingdom, with the various wild cat species being the best example (play centers around hunting skills and establishment and maintainance of heirarchy, when they grew up those innocuous activities became "real", and because they had practiced in youth, they make better decisions)

    people are too sheltered now.. and even i was when I was a kid. This is one of the things I dislike about my fellow liberals.. it's one thing to be egalitarian when people ask for it and truly need a helping hand or protection from active disenfranchisement.... its another to overprotect and thereby deny real life lessons to both kids and parents. In real life you will often handle or live around objects which can cause you harm, and parents should realize that if their toys don't do it they can rest assured their kids will manage to get other everyday objects to serve that function. At the same time, making toys which are not idiot proof will teach kids how to take proper precautions both in everyday movement and when handling tools with similar risks.

    For example:

    When I was 7 I was given the gi joe crusader..
    this thing had articulated everything.. including landing gear.. which was made of thin hard and jam-prone plastic with way too much spring tortion.
    one day this gear jammed, and in the process of being freed literally ripped off my thumbnail.
    But guess what.. nobody sued..
    My nail healed, and I learned the importance of handling with care anything which could potentially jerk uncontrollably by experiencing a relatively minor injury.
    I mean, imagine if I had made this arguably inevitable mistake with more "adult" tools.

    Getting hurt, just like copyright infringement, is a question of "when" in life, not "if". If you prevent one means people will inevitably encounter another through which to learn these lessons.

    That said.. this list is far from accurate.

    There are antiques i've seen from the turn of the century which have such gems as open flame, boiling substances, and serious electrical hazards.

    it should really be read as "the 10 most dangerous toys produced since 1950"

    --
    VLC FOR MAC IS DYING! IF YOU DEVELOP, PLEASE SAVE IT!!
    1. Re:"toy safety" is counter to the purpose of play by evilviper · · Score: 1
      Getting hurt, just like copyright infringement, is a question of "when" in life, not "if". If you prevent one means people will inevitably encounter another through which to learn these lessons.

      These aren't toys that will rip off a finger nail. These are toys that will give you 3rd degree burns, strangle you in an inescapable web of netting, lodge in your throat, BREAK RIBS, AMPUTATE FINGERS, BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE, etc.

      Danger is supposed to be learned with toys... but in a graduated level. 7 year-olds should be learning about scratches, bruises, and mildly "hot" objects. They don't yet have the judgment to handle non-obvious and/or life-threatening dangers.

      In a few ways, things have gotten too safe, with trivial harm to older children resulting in recalls, but there are still MANY modern cases of life-threatening risks with toys, which should have been blindingly obvious to manufacturers.

      I believe the latter over-senativity is fueled by the former, utter lack of sensativity.
      --
      Slashdot gets worse every day... Pipedot: News for nerds, without the corporate slant
    2. Re:"toy safety" is counter to the purpose of play by sco08y · · Score: 1

      What happened to the idea of kids playing to practice for the real world?

      That's the purpose of play for the rest of the animal kingdom, with the various wild cat species being the best example


      When most wild cats and dogs and whatnot play, the only toys they have are teeth and claws which are pretty innocuous compared to, say, a car. And their real world doesn't involve anything remotely as violent as war.

    3. Re:"toy safety" is counter to the purpose of play by DaTrueDave · · Score: 0

      You're absolutely right. Society is making children's play so safe that many of life's lessons simply aren't being learned. It's a shame, really.

    4. Re:"toy safety" is counter to the purpose of play by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      people are too sheltered now.. and even i was when I was a kid. This is one of the things I dislike about my fellow liberals.. it's one thing to be egalitarian when people ask for it and truly need a helping hand or protection from active disenfranchisement.... its another to overprotect and thereby deny real life lessons to both kids and parents. In real life you will often handle or live around objects which can cause you harm, and parents should realize that if their toys don't do it they can rest assured their kids will manage to get other everyday objects to serve that function. At the same time, making toys which are not idiot proof will teach kids how to take proper precautions both in everyday movement and when handling tools with similar risks.

      Oh, no - "providing a helping hand" or "protection from active disenfranchisement" is not what liberals are about. That is just the justification given for liberals wanting to exercise control over society. Liberals are about "We should be able to take peoples money", and they justify it with "providing a helping hand". Liberals are about "We should micromanage social relationships of the public" and they justify it with "to protect people from active disengranchisment"... You see, your political goals are what you want to acheive policy wise, not what you say the eventual outcome of your policies will be. So in the same way G. W. Bush supports a horrific invasion of Iraq (not "supporting democracy in Iraq"... that is what he may say will be the outcome of the war, but it is not the actual policy he supports), Liberals support strict authoritarian government (and the "progressive" goals that give are just justification for their authoritarian policies - There is no reason to believe that giving the government more money or more power will actually acomplish anything progressive).

      So when it comes to dangerous toys, it is just natural... liberals are ideologicaly for massivly increased government control. Regulation toys means more government control. A liberal will natural want the government to massivly regulate toys. It is one step closer to a command economy, where the government controls everything. The safety of children, or their need to grow and learn, really have nothing to do with it. It is all about justifying their desire for absolute political power.

    5. Re:"toy safety" is counter to the purpose of play by ceoyoyo · · Score: 2, Insightful

      You're completely right. Wild animals' real world doesn't involve anything like war. More like a constant state of war where the enemy doesn't just try and shoot you, he eats you afterward.

    6. Re:"toy safety" is counter to the purpose of play by Brandybuck · · Score: 1

      This is one of the things I dislike about my fellow liberals...

      Only about a quarter of liberals are truly liberal. The other three quarters adopting that label are control freaks who want to manage other people's lives. Which isn't much different from the three quarters of conservatives who are control freaks wanting to manage other people's lives.

      Politics is about power, which is why it attacts people who get off on telling other people what they can or cannot do. If you can manage to use the correct rhetoric, not only do you get to tell other people how to live their lives, you get lauded in the press as being a compassionately wonderful person.

      --
      Don't blame me, I didn't vote for either of them!
    7. Re:"toy safety" is counter to the purpose of play by sbrowning · · Score: 1

      I agree that it is important for kids to have experiences they can learn from. I well remember using the 'thing-maker' toy as a kid (basically just an exposed heating element used for cooking plastic), and sure I burnt my fingers numerous times. Taught me to be careful around hot things.

      I was in Japan a number of years ago as a tourist, and came across a morning TV show aimed at kids. The show was teaching kids how to use knives in the kitchen. A little girl was giving instructions on how to hold it, how to cut, etc... It was probably aimed at the 5 to 10 age range. Instead of sheltering their kids from everything, the Japanese were teaching their kids important things they'll need in life.

      --
      Steve Browning http://www.sbrowning.com
    8. Re:"toy safety" is counter to the purpose of play by Chris+Mattern · · Score: 1

      > the only toys they have are teeth and claws which are
      > pretty innocuous compared to, say, a car.

      Because, after all, it's not like you can seriously injure and kill with teeth and claws. It's not like that's their *intended purpose.*

      Oh, wait...

      Chris Mattern

    9. Re:"toy safety" is counter to the purpose of play by sco08y · · Score: 1

      More like a constant state of war where the enemy doesn't just try and shoot you, he eats you afterward.

      Alright, what's the animal kingdom equivalent of the machine gun?

    10. Re:"toy safety" is counter to the purpose of play by sco08y · · Score: 1

      Because, after all, it's not like you can seriously injure and kill with teeth and claws. It's not like that's their *intended purpose.*

      Right, now compare an adolescent dog playing with teeth and claws with an adolescent human driving drunk.

      Which is more dangerous?

    11. Re:"toy safety" is counter to the purpose of play by ceoyoyo · · Score: 1

      Shark feeding frenzy? Army ants marching? Baleen whale swimming through a cloud of plankton?

      Even modern mechanized warfare doesn't really kill that high a percentage of the troops, and the purpose isn't actually killing.

    12. Re:"toy safety" is counter to the purpose of play by Inthewire · · Score: 0

      Ever heard of a "pulled" punch?

      --


      Writers imply. Readers infer.
    13. Re:"toy safety" is counter to the purpose of play by plasmacutter · · Score: 1

      maybe if they gave that adolescent alcohol occasionally as a kid he'd be drinking responsibly.

      Studies have shown that no matter what the local drinking age is, once that age is reached people tend to be more responsible about it because it's not about rebelling by getting totally smashed.

      --
      VLC FOR MAC IS DYING! IF YOU DEVELOP, PLEASE SAVE IT!!
  48. Lawn Darts by anthony_dipierro · · Score: 1

    I'm just happy to see that lawn darts made the top of the list. When I heard the title of this article, that's what I immediately thought of.

    1. Re:Lawn darts by Cruise_WD · · Score: 1

      *blink*
      As a Jehovah's Witness, I'm not quite sure why you'd conflate our religion with not taking their kids to the hospital? I think you might be suffering some denominational confusion - our kids are, in the Bible's own words, a gift from God, and parents are under responsibility to care for them.
      Whatever the background, I can assure our beliefs would /not/ be the reason for not taking the kid to hospital.

      --
      [ cruise / casual-tempest.net / xenogamous.com / transference.org / quantam sufficit ]
  49. Warning!!! by AugustZephyr · · Score: 1

    You'll shoot your eye out...

    Sorry had to be said

  50. Re:Asshole by Xerxes+of+Zealot · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    You, jackass, are the exact reason why we have so many warning labels on EVERYTHING today. Oh wow, this coffee I spilled on my lap burned me, I wonder why that happened. Oh wow, I threw my Wiimote at the TV screen like it was a baseball and this strap broke and now so did my TV, I wonder why that happened. If you dont think taking risks are not essentail to life than you have led a very sheltered life. You obviously have never: flown, drove or rode in a car, done any sort of physical activity, or left the bubble that you call home.
    As for your providing a safe environment arguement, it should be known that neither the TV nor the game console are a safe environment. I guarantee the kid that is given a risk/mistake free life until he hits 18 does a helluva lot worse in life than the kid who actually gets a chance to fuck up and learn shit like "damn, if i stick my finger in that electrical outlet its not gonna feel too good".
    Have you ever heard the expression "That which doesn't kill you only makes you stronger"? Didnt think so Maybe Im just too old school.

  51. Elmo's World by StephenW · · Score: 1

    Tickle Me Elmo Extreme goes on a killing spree. News at 11.

  52. One of the 6700 lawn darts injuries was caused by by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    was caused by me unfortunately. me and graddad had the rings in front of us facing eachother across the lawn, and one of my darts missed the ring and hit my grandfathers foot instead, the tip went right through it.

  53. Bravo! by node159 · · Score: 1

    Thank you slashdot for brightening my life with the misery of others, especially bratty children!

    --
    GPLv2: I want my rights, I want my phone call! DRM: What use is a phone call, if you are unable to speak?
  54. This article says it all... by Morky · · Score: 1

    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28331 I still have Jarts from the 70s at my grandma's house, by the way. And they're still fun.

  55. What about the Disc Gun? by fineous+fingers · · Score: 1

    I didn't see anyone mention those guns that shot the plastic discs.

    WikiLink: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tracer_gun

    Good cheap eye shooting out fun right there!

    fingers

  56. Damn split up articles by Jugalator · · Score: 4, Informative

    Damn ad-heavy split up articles.

    1. Lawn Darts
    2. Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab
    3. Mini-Hammocks from EZ Sales
    4. Snacktime Cabbage Patch Dolls
    5. Sky Dancers
    6. Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun
    7. Creepy Crawlers
    8. Johnny Reb Cannon
    9. Battlestar Galactica Missile Launcher
    10. Fisher-Price Power Wheels Motorcycle

    So it seems they missed the latest threat:

    The Nintendo Wii
    - http://www.wiihaveaproblem.com/

    Example injuries from that site:
    - Girl Dislocates Knee While Playing with Wii
    - Attack on Girlfriend Proves Fatal to Boyfriend's Wii Privileges

    --
    Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
    1. Re:Damn split up articles by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      9. Battlestar Galactica Missile Launcher

      I still have that...the entire set; Viper, Cylon raider, ... stuck in a box. Maybe it's time to check ebay?

    2. Re:Damn split up articles by evilviper · · Score: 1
      Example injuries from that site:


      It amazes me how utterly disconnected from the physical world the majority of people are, that ANY physical activity is not understood by average adults, and therefore considered dangerous.

      The saddest example I've ever seen is people trying to capture loose animals. Even the "professionals" seem to be less knowledgable than ANYONE who has ever played tug-of-war with their dog... God help them when they think they're going to outrun and outmanuver a chicken.

      --
      Slashdot gets worse every day... Pipedot: News for nerds, without the corporate slant
    3. Re:Damn split up articles by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Most of the supposed Wii-related injury and damage incidents are likely faked or real injuries not caused by Wii use, for the purposes of trolling and/or console fanboyism.

  57. Toys that should have made the list by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting

    1. Tinker toys. I can't be the only kid who made a crossbow for himself out of these.
    2. Chemistry sets. Explosives and poison for young anarchists.
    3. Home electronics kits.
    4. Chemical rocketry sets.
    5. Water rockets.
    6. Boomerangs.

    Plus all the other stuff kids commonly played with: tire swings, dirt bikes, slingshots, bb guns, shuriken, lighters, etc. and other improvised toys. Maybe kids are safer now that those things are pretty much on the forbidden list in the US, but I'm pretty sure they have less fun.

  58. Re:Asshole by jamar0303 · · Score: 1

    Oh yes- woodchips. I went to an elementary school that used woodchips in its playground. I liked it at first (it was easier to clean out from my shoes than sand) but I grew to hate it. First, the splinters, then I played on the parallel bars and fell off them while hanging upside-down- head trauma, nosebleed and several splinters (oh, and woodchips up the nose=pain).

    --
    OSx86 FTW
  59. Yes. by DrYak · · Score: 1

    In some countries (like in Switzerland) minors can go train shooting using actual military riffle (starting from 16 years old, as far as I remember. They are allowed to keep the riffle at home) and using air riffle even younger (starting from 13 years old. There was a law wanting to lower that age to 10 y.o.).
    Safety is strictly enforced in the shooting ranges and the young receive complete instruction about avoiding hazards before getting the actual gun.
    Accident are rather rare.

    Not that I appreciate the situation (I hate guns), but, just to mention that *YES* as long as you keep safe, lots of stuff that are apparently forbidden in the USA (according to TFA), are just madeless in other countries just by asking for parental supervision/better safety mecanism/whatever is required to avoid stupid accidents.

    I mean... Making a *darts*-game forbidden ?!? Just because some idiots got drunk and/or didn't follow basic safety principle ? By making it forbidden one's only embarrassing all the other 99% "normal" people out there, who just took the necessary precautions and now feel that this again will make the rest of the world think that Americans are idiots.

    Under your logic, candles on birthday cakes should be made illegal until a kid turns 16 y.o. because some idiots may try to put them off with his bare hands instead of blowing.

    --
    "Sufficiently advanced satire is indistinguishable from reality." - [Tips: 1DrYakQDKCQ6y52z6QbnkxHXAocMZJE61o ]
    1. Re:Yes. by jcnnghm · · Score: 1

      Shooting guns when you are young isn't illegal in the US as far as I know. When I was in the boy scouts (5th - 7th grade), they let us play with all sorts of weapons.

      At camp we had archery, riflery (.22s), and they let us throw hatchets at targets. We also found out that bug repellent is highly flammable. I remember shooting pellet guns much younger than that, and we regularly went skeet shooting.

      Safety was stressed and everything was extremely well supervised. That is probably why I have no problem with guns today, it's an issue of training and respect.

      --
      You don't make the poor richer by making the rich poorer. - Winston Churchill
    2. Re:Yes. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You've never put off a candle with bare fingers?

  60. Ten most dangerous? by proxy318 · · Score: 1

    More like "Ten most AWESOME toys of all time".

    --
    Saying your "phone ran out of batteries" is like saying your "car ran out of gas tanks".
  61. it was the 50's by p51d007 · · Score: 1

    There was this think called common sense.....something lacking, thanks to personal injury lawyers and stupid judge/juries that allow such stupid lawsuits. Plus, back then, they didn't know a lot about radioactivity.....

  62. Re:Asshole by LihTox · · Score: 1

    they are asking parents to supervise their own fucking children.

    Then you support a major increase in the minimum wage? Most people are too busy working to supervise their children, and don't have the money to hire someone to do it.

  63. It's missing a few by Minwee · · Score: 4, Funny

    Where is the Bag O' Glass? Pretty Peggy Ear-Piercing Set? Mr. Skin-Grafter? General Tron's Secret Police Confession Kit? Doggie Dentist? How about Johnny Switchblade, Adventure Punk or the Teddy Chainsaw Bear?

    What kind of kist is this?

    1. Re:It's missing a few by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This got marked informative. Guess no one heard of SNL.

  64. Broken ribs??? by pla · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Waitasec... Under the "SkyDancers" entry, it mentions "broken ribs". I can see the other mild forms of damage, particularly eye injuries, but how the hell would six ounces of plastic and foam, even spinning as fast as its little plastic launcher can make it, manage to break bones?

    I took issue with a few other entries as well, but it seems like many of these "dangers" don't really involve the toy itself, much like "injury while under the influence" - The alcohol doesn't hurt you, your actions while drunk hurt you.

    Some stupid kid probably launched one of these off the roof to see how far it could go, then proceeded to fall off the roof. Do we blame the toy for that?

    1. Re:Broken ribs??? by /dev/trash · · Score: 1

      Kids have softer bones. Or maybe the kid was raised by a radical vegan and there was no milk and thus no calcium in the kids bones.

    2. Re:Broken ribs??? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      Was that an intentional troll or simple ignorance? Calcium from animal-based sources is a myth. According to the USDA:
      ...bone formation was significantly less in omnivore women than in vegan women. This happened even though the omnivore women had a higher calcium intake than did the vegan volunteers.
      http://www.ars.usda.gov/is/AR/archive /mar03/osteo0303.htm
    3. Re:Broken ribs??? by edschurr · · Score: 1

      I can't figure out "calcium from animal-based sources is a myth", given that everyone involved in osteoporosis seems seems to support dairy. Is it simply about animal protein? Animal protein certainly appears to be worse than plant protein. However, that study was only done with women and not men, and unfortunately the article doesn't go into detail about the diets or vitamins. For example vitamin A is higher in plants than animals, and lower levels are associated with fractures in women; men however are not affected. Also, it seems that high levels of calcium intake is worse than moderate levels. A Harvard synthesis (which I'm using now) about milk and calcium acknowledges that animal protein is associated with lower levels of bone formation, but still concludes that dairy is a good source of calcium. (1) The USDA also lists dairy products as being generally better sources of calcium than plant products (by my estimation: the list is very long). Lastly, some plant sources may be detrimental to overall calcium absorption.

      1. http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/calciu m.html (Damn, what's with Slashdot screwing up links?)

    4. Re:Broken ribs??? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I suppose the best we can get from this little o/t thread is that it doesn't matter one way or the other (as far as calcium/bone strength) whether one is omnivorous or a 'radical vegan.'

  65. We didn't have dangerous toys... by Loco+Moped · · Score: 2

    when I was a kid, you insensitive clod.

    All we had was rifles and shotguns.

    And enough sense to know these WEREN'T TOYS.
    Nobody got shot, lost an eye, or anything.
    Perhaps that's because lawyers were rare, back in the day...

    1. Re:We didn't have dangerous toys... by kalirion · · Score: 1

      Nobody got shot, lost an eye, or anything.
      Perhaps that's because lawyers were rare, back in the day...


      Exactly. If there's no lawsuit, it doesn't make the news.

  66. Cry me a river. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    Then you support a major increase in the minimum wage? Most people are too busy working to supervise their children, and don't have the money to hire someone to do it.


    Waa Waa.

    That argument only makes sense if most people were working minimum wage, but most aren't. The fact is that most families could do fine on the single income of one parent. But they are too selfish to take care of their kids because they want that new car every five years, a big house in the 'burbs, to eat at restaurants twice a week, a kick-ass computer network and that that sweet new plasma-sceen TV.

    Problem is, buying stuff is not parenting.
  67. Re:Mr. Football! Rah! Rah! Rah! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    When I was in my early teens I started making "fireworks", which looked suspiciously like pipe bombs. A took a thick steel tube, hammered one end flat, filled it with home made gunpowder and hammered a wooden bung into the other end (and I dread to think what would have happened if the hammering had set it off...).

    To ignite my first effort I placed it on its side on a brick, and set a blow torch to heat it up. Realising that the bung would shoot out at high speed, I stood a few yards behind it; as Newton predicted, the steel pipe shot backwards, fortunately just missing my leg, but it did powder a brick in the wall of the house.

    Of course, I wasn't discouraged and kept making bigger bombs. Until I got bored.

    I suppose my point is that for every child who gets permanently injured, there are thousands doing incredibly stupid things but suffering no ill effects. Supposedly dangerous stuff isn't actually that dangerous.

  68. Re:Asshole by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    If you can't afford to watch your children... here's a crazy idea - DON'T HAVE CHILDREN.

  69. No Red Rider BB guns? by gelfling · · Score: 1

    C'mon those are all toys. If you really want to get hurt, buy a weapon.

  70. Omissions: 6. Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun by smchris · · Score: 3, Interesting

    They didn't even mention the best part!!!!

    Caps, my ass. The cool thing about this _line_ of toy guns generically called "Shoot-N-Shell" was that they fired hard plastic bullets from heavy brass cartridges. You would buy a whole set of ammo: bullets, cartridges, and caps. You'd push the bullets into the cartridges and put an adhesive cap for effect onto the tail of the cartridge. The bullets were driven from a spring in the cartridge and fired when the hammer struck it.

    I, in fact, had the Derringer Belt Gun but they made a whole line of solid metal Shoot-N-Shells from six-shooters to rifles. And don't begin to believe that they had the politically-correct red plastic attachment you see in the photo. Real little guns for little people back then.

    Shoot-N-Shells were fantastic boy toys -- except for the putting out eyes thing. The fact that they weren't as powerful as BB guns perversely encouraged shoot-outs.

    ********

    And a note on #7: If we are going back to the early 50s with the Gilbert set, there were far more lethal toymakers than the Creepy Crawler. Kids were melting lead at home to make toy soldiers well into the 60s.

  71. Back at ya by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    Wow, you're rude, an idiot and got modded insightful. Congratulations.


    Right back at you. You are also being rude, you have also been modded insightful and your arguments are also lacking.

    And you are completely sidestepping the GP's point by nit-picking. The point is not the material. It is easy to find rather fun, educational, and (god forbid!) exercise-inducing toys that don't exist anymore and have not seen suitable replacements because of the safety-first mindset, like the 12-foot jungle gyms (at least where I live). The fact is that you cannot sanitize all danger out of a child's life (or an adults life) and the attempt to do so is going to strip the valuable lessons (and the physical activity) that a child gets from play. It is similar to the terrorism debate. Would you trade your freedom for safety? If you would, I would suggest that there is something wrong with your head and not the GP's.

    Oh, and if you don't think that danger is a part of your life, I suppose you did not drive to work this morning? That is more dangerous than a lawn dart. I suppose that you never go hiking/backpacking/rockclimbing/skydiving/jogging/ outside. I suppose you think that hunting should be banned. I suppose that you think sidewalks should have side rails and crosswalks gates.

    And coffee should be served chilled.
    1. Re:Back at ya by Venerable+Vegetable · · Score: 1

      Right back at you. You are also being rude, you have also been modded insightful and your arguments are also lacking. Sorry, I should have chosen my words more carefully.

      Material is not the main point, but it is related. Better materials are a great way to make the same toys safer, which means that safety doesn't have to mean taking them away.
      People who want safer toys usually do not want to remove the exercise, fun, imagination, challenge or whatever, they only want it SAFER.

      The GP made the point that somehow quality of (a childs) life has declined by making it safer. If this is done by removing whole ranges of toys then I agree. But that's not what is happening. Every kind of toy that existed 50 or 100 years ago still exists, only usually in a safer shape.
      You say toys have disappeared, but the only example you give is still very popular (at least in Europe, where a lot of schools and playground have them). Seriously, if it's so easy, name ten?

      I didn't say danger is not part of my life, but I said I don't think it is essential. I do go hiking, but not on the Mount Everest. I do cycle to work every day, but not on the highway and I appreciate that there are speed limits. And oh, a lot of the bicycle paths are seperated from the main road by concrete barriers, which I think is a great idea. I don't care about hunting, as long as nobody does it in my backyard near children.

      And coffee should be hot, but not cause third degree burns, especially not at a drive-thru restaurant.
    2. Re:Back at ya by rahrens · · Score: 1

      I especially agree about the coffee...

      That restaurant in that famous MacDonalds coffee case - the reason they lost isn't because of the popular derisive impression. They lost because the plaintiff proved that the management had been dinged by the local food authorities for exceeding the allowed temperature of their coffee for at least three weeks previous to the incident in question. Other patrons had been burned and complained, but none as bad as the woman that sued. They deserved to lose!

      --
      "Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash." Notebooks of Lazarus Long, Robert A. Heinlein
    3. Re:Back at ya by Antique+Geekmeister · · Score: 1

      I remember that case too: her nylons were actually melted to her legs. We're talking about major burns, surgery, and permanent scarring. It's a great example of how a case can be mistold to give the wrong lesson.

      And to the trolls who talk about "natural selection" with children's toys, behavior is part of natural selection. We babysitters, godparents, and relatives of the next generation improve our chance of the next generation carrying our genes by protecting them from fools and teaching them elementary caution. If you want to have completely awesome raw lives and evolutionary forces at play, strip naked right now and go find your own food for 3 days without getting it from others or borrowing any tools from them.

  72. Forgot the Mercury Maze by CaroKann · · Score: 2, Insightful

    I used to have one toy that certainly should have made the list. I don't remember who made it, but the toy was an enclosed, circular plastic maze with a nickel-sized ball of mercury contained within. The idea is that you tilt and rotate the toy to maneuver the mercury drop into the center of the maze. Imagine what would happen if the plastic broke. Imagine how many of these toys were simply thrown away in the garbage.
    Come to think of it, my father may still have it somewhere. I'll have to find it and take it to the hazardous waste disposal site when I visit next time.

    1. Re:Forgot the Mercury Maze by Howitzer86 · · Score: 1

      I'm sorry, but that's just silly. I remember those things, they were awesome.

    2. Re:Forgot the Mercury Maze by old+and+new+again · · Score: 1

      pretty sure I still have mine too when I was 7 I punched my wrist with my brand new knive while carving a tree the wrong way, I still have te h scar 21 years later and never ever think about carvng towards a body part...that's called learning, I don't know why kids today aren't allowerd to learn... I use to climb trees and fall, minor stetches of wrists and ankles every summer of mountain biking and such...Today's kid will have so many difficulties in the real unprotected world...

    3. Re:Forgot the Mercury Maze by Jordin · · Score: 1

      Actually, not much would happen -- metallic mercury is pretty innocuous. I had a pretty extensive chem lab in the garage at age 9 or so, including about 5 lb of mercury in a bottle -- I'd pour some out and play with the loose drops on a plate. Demonstrating the formation of amalgams by dipping a penny in mercury used to be a common chemistry demonstration. Mercury vapor is toxic if inhaled, so heating mercury (or working with lots of mercury for a long time) in an enclosed space is bad. And mercury dumped into the environment gets converted to organomercury compounds (which *are* very toxic) quite a bit faster than people thought back in the 60's, which is why most places treat mercury as hazardous waste: they want to discourage people pouring it down drains. But small amounts of metallic mercury? no big deal.

  73. Re:Asshole by JohnFluxx · · Score: 1

    And what about those that do kill you? Look at the list of toys in the article - most of them killed several people at least.

  74. Re:Asshole by spike1 · · Score: 1

    Playgrounds nowadays do have mainly woodchips, sand or that rubber matting.

    But when I were a lad, we didn't 'ave any of that poncy stuff. We 'ad proper 'ard tarmac.
    Under all the playground rides, slide? tarmac. Swings? Tarmac. Metal climbing frames and roundabouts? Tarmac.

    And our swings were the proper ones, no "harnesses" to hold the child in.
    No Tires. Just hard plastic seat connected by 2 chains to the metal crossbar 15 feet up.

    We used to have competitions to see who could swing and jump off the furthest.
    Kids should NEVER be wrapped in cotton wool. A few cuts and grazes are part of growing up.

  75. Anyone remember FLUBBER ? by BigPaise · · Score: 2, Interesting
  76. What about the Confederate flag?? by moeinvt · · Score: 1

    If that cannon came back to the market today, people would think that the rebel flag was more dangerous than the projectiles. Whiners.

  77. Re:Asshole by maeka · · Score: 1
    It is assholes like you who replaced those awesome wood playgrounds of the 80s with that plastic shit so kids can't get splinters

    They were replaced because the pressure-treated lumber they were constructed from contained high levels of arsenic, and children have a bad habit of putting hand-in-mouth, thus absorbing the arsenic.
    Now that non-arsenic PT lumber is readily available, you are seeing a resurgence of the wood playground sets.
  78. Shit happens by houghi · · Score: 1

    get over it. Kids will hurt themselves. When my sister got her firstborn, I asked if she would take any precuations. The only thing she did was put a vase up high. For the rest nothing. All corners were just as sharp as before. Het reasoning was that if he would bump himself, he would cry and then stop doing it.

    That what doesn't kill you, make you stronger.

    As a kid I have broken my share of bones and am sometimes still surprised when I hear that some people never had broken anything as a kid. The thing that hurt most was loosing a fingernail when I drove over it when on the skateboard.

    Kids have been coming home crying and under blood for several centuries, so what is up with the current wussies? How can they learn that a videogame is just a game if they have no sence of reality? If you hit somebody in a game or in real life is different. Try it out. Also you will learn that a game does not have a bigger brother and the person you hit in real life does.

    --
    Don't fight for your country, if your country does not fight for you.
    1. Re:Shit happens by znx · · Score: 1

      Don't you think that maybe you are missing the point? After all how many parents hand their children knifes or how about handing them something that will blow up in their face after only two minutes of use!

      Yay it'll make them stronger .. once they are out of hospital .. and maybe after a little plastic surgery .. maybe

      Anyway, ignoring all that, I've just got my Christmas list sorted out, thanks Slashdot!

      --
      BOO
  79. Re:Asshole by that+this+is+not+und · · Score: 1

    I went to a school with a really old-school playground in it for a year. It was this really old parochial school in the center of downtown where we were bussed for a year while the new school was being built.

    I remember collecting pieces of lead and wax in that playground, to add to my lead and wax collections (I still have that lead collection- gathered it all up and melted it into a big puck of lead that I still have.)

    There's a bit of hysteria out there about certain substances. I ordered a bunch of new parts for some projects from Digi-Key recently. On the invoice, all kinds of the chips and capacitors were marked 'ROHS' or whatnot. I said 'not for long, hahah' and reached for the roll of 63/37 solder and the iron to solder them in the circuit board.

    And mark my word, it's important for us to keep good track of who those 'ROHS' fuckers are, because when the dendrites ('tin whiskers') start growing in everybodys' electronic devices in a short while, we'll need a list of bureaucrats and do-gooder committe-types to hammer to death. Not necessarily physically. Massive junk-science lawsuits and legal penalties will do.

  80. Priceless by jozeph78 · · Score: 1

    Sadistic as it may be, that picture with the jart stuck through the kids shoulder is priceless!

    --
    Ever done a `man` on `top` ?
  81. Re:Asshole by spike1 · · Score: 1

    Kids will ALWAYS find ways to injure themselves (sometimes fatally)
    And yes, fine, protecting them from some things like toys that break to reveal sharp impaling needles and things should be banned. But some of those toys?

    As someone mentioned elsewhere, have sticks, trees, stairs, lakes etc been "banned"?

    Because thousands more kids have been injured doing what kids do without the aid of a plastic toy.

    They're going over the top with safety, if you deny that then I refer you to the story of schools banning the playing of conkers. One of THE traditional playground games from time immemorial.

    (For the americans out there, a "conker" is a horsechestnut and the game involves drilling a hole down the centre of the conker and threading some string through it. Then each player holds his conker out at arms length while the other uses his to try to smash it, each taking turns. Each hit scores a point. Destroying a conker gains the points of that conker too... leading to the phrase "Mine's a 50'er" or "mine's a 102'er".

    During the summer months we had a similar game based on wooden lolly sticks.

  82. The list by doug141 · · Score: 1

    1. Lawn Darts
    2. Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab
    3. Mini-Hammocks from EZ Sales
    4. Snacktime Cabbage Patch Dolls
    5. Sky Dancers
    6. Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun
    7. Creepy Crawlers
    8. Johnny Reb Cannon
    9. Battlestar Galactica Missile Launcher
    10. Fisher-Price Power Wheels Motorcycle
    Honorable Mention: Manley Toys Disco Light

  83. Re:Asshole by Hachey · · Score: 1

    i had a woodchips playground when i was a kid (we called it 'tan-bark') and a rubberized playground. for the record, it hurts WAY more to face plant on a flat rubber surface than it does on loose woodchips.

    plus you could huck woodchips at your friends and nail 'em right good up the side of the head when you were horsing around. ah, childhood.


    --
    Please allow me to hate the creator of the 120-character limit: *HATES*. Thank you.
  84. Re:Asshole by glitch23 · · Score: 0

    Nobody wants kids to exercise common sence, they are asking parents to supervise their own fucking children.

    The same can be said for spelling and grammar.

    --
    this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom. -- Lincoln, Gettysburg Address
  85. Don't forget Irwin Maimway by scourfish · · Score: 1

    His toys were very controversial, however I'm pretty sure they were safe. Take one of his most popular toys, a bag of medical waste, which he called "Johnny Doctor," or the hand gun, "Johnny Street Gang (no ammo included)" that he tried to sell. Of course, there was also the bag of broken glass he marketed as "Bag of Broken glass," however I assert that the light refraction off of the glass shards made that toy educational; it taught kids the science of colors and light.

  86. My most dangerous toys by Matt+Apple · · Score: 1

    Everyone knows about BB guns but when I was a kid Daisy sold this strange cast iron thing that you were supposed to attach paper bullseye targets to. In other words it was a big, flat piece of metal that kids were supposed to shoot at. The purpose? It produced a truly awesome *ding* sound when you hit it. "You'll shoot your eye out!"

    Crossbows and Catapults was a game where two players build little castles and then try to destroy each others castles with the aforementioned medieval weapons. Made of hard plastic, powered by rubber bands and firing solid plastic discs that weighed about an ounce it was a lot of fun. But being boys my brother and I were unsatisfied with the catapults destructive power so we augmented it with about a dozen extra rubber bands, increasing the catapults force so much that its plastic frame actually warped when we pulled it back to full strength. We had turned a child's game into a pair of homemade honest-to-god slingshots. We soon found that shooting them at each other was much more fun than knocking over little castles. Getting hit by one meant a bloody silver dollar size welt. My brother actually sent one through a single layer of sheetrock.

  87. What about non-manufactured fun by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    When I was a kid, we would swing sticks, throw rocks, climb trees and rooftops, jump in puddles-ponds-lakes, slide on ice patches, crash bikes (without padding from head to toe), and found any other pontentially dangerous activity that a typical kid would be able to find. These toys are the kinds of things that I might have messed with in my down time like when it was raining. The collective risk of injury from all of these toys was probably far less than any one of the activities mentioned above.

    Lawn darts? Hell, we made spears. Find a nice, relatively straight stick, grind one end down to a point, viola. Chuck at each other at your own risk. U-238? I suppose the various electrified fences that my relatives used to corral pets and livestock would count as similar. Projectile hazzards? Hell, anything that I could pick up was a potential projectile hazzard.

    Growing up was an interchanging pattern of play and pain. We'd go until we found a painful boundary, recover, and repeat. In fact, it seemed the activities that were most enjoyable were the ones in which such a boundary was likely to be encountered. I'd probably have taken a much stronger interest in electronics and chemistry early on if someone had explained it in terms of blowing stuff up.

    Anyway, the important thing was I had an onion on my belt.

  88. foreseeable, really by sacrilicious · · Score: 1
    Those bastards that snapped my bra in high school

    IMHO, any guy that wears a bra in highschool had better be prepared for a bit of hassling.

    --
    - First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then ???, then profit.
  89. Arsenic deficiency by nihilatron · · Score: 1

    It is assholes like you who replaced those awesome wood playgrounds of the 80s with that plastic shit so kids can't get splinters. Arsenic. Pressure-treated lumber used in playground equipment used to contain chromated copper arsenic. Now our kids are arsenic deficient!
  90. Re:Asshole by 0rbit4l · · Score: 1

    Speaking of moderation abuse, whoever thinks being such a blatant jerk is in any way "insightful" has definitely abused the system. Parent is flamebait, pure and simple, and any "insightful" commentary within said post seems accidental at best.

  91. Plastic by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It doesn't biodegrade though and it's tricky to recycle. Oh won't somebody think of the environment!

  92. Dangerous? by Brandybuck · · Score: 1

    Dangerous? Not compared to other toys not on this list! As near as I can tell, the criteria for this list is a commercial toy sold after 1950.

    The common wooden top. Take a block of hardwood, lathe it into the classic top shape, then stick a sharp nail in the point. Wind it with string and throw it hard at the sidewalk. Helps to explain why Uncle Jack is missing the tip of his pinky finger.

    Marbles and jacks. Obvious choking hazards. But more than that, marbles of yesteryear were ceramic with lead based glaze. Swallow one of those and you're poisoned. I'm amazed our grandparents lived long enough to breed.

    Slingshot. Yes, I know the list deliberately excluded them, but just think how dangerous they are. Even when used responsibly, the elastic could snap, ripping your arm while sending the projectile into your brother's eye.

    Yo-yos. While not particularly deadly, they have an amazing tendency to give concussions to small children trying to do 'round the world.

    Sticks. Baseball bats. Cricket bats. Plain old hickory stickball stick. You don't need much imagination to know how dangerous they can be.

    Balls. If the swinging bat doesn't hit the catcher, that rock hard baseball might. Ever been hit by a softball in the head? The "soft" in the name is a cruel irony.

    Toy boats. There can't be anything dangerous about a toy boat, can there? No. Not unless you're running along with your toy sailboat, trip, and get impaled through the heart with the mast.

    Sigh. Childhood is so dangerous.

    --
    Don't blame me, I didn't vote for either of them!
  93. Lawn darts by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    When I was a kid my brother and his friend were playing lawn darts. Stupid neighbour's kid decided to walk in the way and took a lawn dart to the head! The neighbours happened to be Jehovah's Witnesses and didn't take their kid to the hospital. I think the kid was ok, but lesson learned. Don't use sharp objects around Jehovah's Witnesses!

  94. Re:Asshole by Lord+Apathy · · Score: 1

    And what about those that do kill you? Look at the list of toys in the article - most of them killed several people at least.

    What about "that which does not kill us only makes us stronger?" How about natual selection?

    --

    Supporting World Peace Through Nuclear Pacification

  95. Compared ... by 32771 · · Score: 1

    to this: http://www.lateralscience.co.uk/ymboa/ymboa.html my childhood was bland even though it was not so much spoiled by clueless journalists and other sissies.

    It says on the page:

    "Warning! - Many subjects outlined within this site are extremely dangerous and are provided here for information only. Please don`t experiment with high voltages or chemicals unless you are fully conversant with safe laboratory practices. No liability will be accepted for death, injury or damage arising from experimentation using any information or materials supplied."

    Sounds like fun, but please be kind to animals and dead bodies of criminals, and don't kill yourself or others.

    --
    Je me souviens.
  96. Bang on! by camperdave · · Score: 1

    Time for parents to grow up and take some responsibility. If your kid isn't mature enough, or responsible enough, to play with a toy, then that toy is in no way something you should let your kid play with.

    Bang on! In some cultures, especially long ago, kids weren't reckoned according to their chronological age, but according to their 'chore age': "Oh, she's old enough to fetch water, but it will be a while before she can weave". "Son, I think you're old enough now to watch the sheep."

    --
    When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
    1. Re:Bang on! by zuiraM · · Score: 1

      Yeah. With a bit of luck, they might actually feel good about it too, rather than being like "awww, dad!". Give them as much responsibility as they can handle, help them become able to handle more, and be there to catch them / help them back up when they fall.

      Just isolating them from the harsh realities around them will give them a severe shock at some point in time. And the absence of rites of passage (e.g. your "ready to watch the sheep" example) has frequently been cited as a near inexhaustible source of trouble.

      Kids become adolescents earlier in life than before, and become adults later in life than before. If you're 20-something now, pop up an old TV-series like "Bewitched", and see if their age-development ratio is the same as your own. Then ask yourself why (not)?

  97. Re:Asshole by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I remember growing up and having these toy trucks made by Tonka. These things were made of steel, near indestructible, tons of fun and looked like the real thing. And of course, they had sharp edges and corners because they were made of sheet-metal. Nowadays they've replaced them with these ugly rounded plastics things. I know when I have kids, I'm digging up the original Tonkas for them.

  98. Molten Lead ... by Dr.+Grabow · · Score: 1

    When I was about 8 I found my father's lead soldier kit in my grandparents' house. Worked perfectly - a little 4 or 5 inch electric cauldron with no lid, just basically a bowl in which the lead melted, and then you poured it into the molds for some nifty 19th century soldier figures. No safety glasses, gloves, warning stickers. Just chucks of lead and lots of heat. That was FUN! Still, I don't think I'd let my own kids do that nowadays...

  99. Slightly related. by attemptedgoalie · · Score: 1

    I tried to have a conversation with a friend of mine about how African nations could be pulled out of the violence and poverty they have.

    Among my friend's reactions:

    1) We should use the CIA to pick somebody to run the country.
    2) As soon as we go in there and help them with farming and water projects, they'll use the money to attack us.
    3) Why should we do anything to help somebody when they'll never pay us back.

    So, much like the poster you're talking about above, we have a group of people that is WAY too large that are scared to death. They can't see the good in anything anymore. That everybody out there is out to get us, and rather than eat, they'd like to fire missiles at us.

    It's depressing.

    Sorry to partially hijack the thread, but the poster you replied to, my friend and the rest of these panicky types need a cookie.

    --
    My mom says I'm cool.
  100. I got over it with a Segway by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    And now all the kids pout when I say "sorry, no kids under 15 are allowed on this". I don't even tell parents that back out of the way when they see my helmet how much safer it is than just bicycles. I saw a government "warning" on tv this morning how 8 kids die every year in bike accidents for not wearing a helmet.

  101. Re:Asshole by FishWithAHammer · · Score: 1

    If you can't afford children, don't have children.

    --
    "You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic, but you cannot have both at the same time."
  102. Re:Asshole by boingo82 · · Score: 1

    I think the problem here is that you're talking about the awesome wooden playgrounds designed by Leathers & Associates, but he's talking about the crappy "Big Toy" playgrounds which completely sucked.

    --
    As a republican I feel it my responsibity to manufacture criminals. People need punished!
  103. crazy argument by Scudsucker · · Score: 1

    What part of learning about avoiding strangulation in a hammock or playing around with radioactive materials is going to prepare kids to be adults?

  104. Re:Mr. Football! Rah! Rah! Rah! by WMD_88 · · Score: 1

    After reading that story, my face - and eye - feel funny. Ack!

  105. Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball by Kesh · · Score: 1

    'nuff said.

    Though I'm way too late to get modded, and most mods probably won't recognize it.

  106. Re:Asshole by Scudsucker · · Score: 1

    If you can't afford children, don't have children.

    And what if your job gets outsourced and you go from making a nice $60,000 a year salary to being an assistant manager at a Burger King? That's part of the problem with a lot of "pro-lifers" they only care about the kid when it's in the fetus, but after it's born, it's sink or swim elitism, baby.

  107. fuck off by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Yes, most people work for more than minimum wage, but that's easy when it hasn't been raised in 7 years.

    The fact is that most families could do fine on the single income of one parent. But they are too selfish to take care of their kids because they want that new car every five years, a big house in the 'burbs, to eat at restaurants twice a week, a kick-ass computer network and that that sweet new plasma-sceen TV.

    Once again, fuck you. Between the decline of unions and stagnant wages, the income level for the middle and lower classes has stagnated or even declined. But costs have skyrocketed - fuel, housing and health care have gone through the roof.

    Take your elitism and shove it.

    1. Re:fuck off by Mycroft_VIII · · Score: 1

      Raising the minimum wage is usually stupid.
      Tell me where the money comes from and you'll see why.
          Consider the typical business that pays min wage and
      to whom they pay it.
          Take fast food for instance. If you raise prices to cover
      the increased costs you suddenly have you lose customers
      (who are NOT making more for the most part and thus won't PAY more)
      and thus make less money to pay wages with.
          Your only other option is to get the same amount of work per $
      spent.
          Lowering profits is not much of option, not only are publicly traded companies REQUIRED to maximize profit, but in some cases the margin is small enough that a significant upswing in costs is killer.
          What is really brain-dead is how my state did it, they created a feed-back loop, fortunately a loose open loop that other factors can swamp the feedback on.

      Mycroft

      --
      https://signup.leagueoflegends.com/?ref=4c3ed6600b6ea
  108. Re:Asshole by Scudsucker · · Score: 1

    Oh wow, this coffee I spilled on my lap burned me, I wonder why that happened.

    Contrary to right-wing propaganda, the lawsuit was not filed because the woman claimed McDonalds was responsible for making her spill coffee on herself. She knew that part was her own damn fault. The lawsuit was filed because McDonalds kept the coffee so hot that she suffered third degree burns on her legs. She was burned to. the. bone. Furthermore, it was demonstrated that McDonalds purpously kept it dangerously hot, that they had recieved hundreds of complaints from both customers and health inspectors.

    Far from being a frivolous lawsuit, the McDonalds Coffee Incident was an example of a good consumer lawsuit.

  109. Re:Asshole by Scudsucker · · Score: 1

    What about "that which does not kill us only makes us stronger?" How about natual selection?

    The fact that stupid people frequently end up hurting other people rather than themselves. Next question?

  110. Simpson's Quote by Tablizer · · Score: 1

    "Oh, here's the problem: somebody set the doll's switch to 'Evil'."

  111. problem with that philosophy... by Scudsucker · · Score: 1

    i.e. the supid ones need to be weeded out early. It's not like we don't have fun making more of the little bastards. ...is that the dumb ones can hurt others before they hurt themselves. The 10 year old idiot with a lawn dart can take out the eye of a passing Eagle Scout before he takes out his own.

    My grandma tells a story of a neighborhood kid who was coming back to the farm after doing some hunting. Rather than empty his gun, he shoots his last round into the family's outhouse. Problem one: his sister was using it at the time. Problem two: now he's an only child.

  112. Anyone remember Clackers? by flyneye · · Score: 1

    The toy every boy wanted.Two urethane(I presume)balls molded onto two 16" or so strings attached to each other with a ring.The point was to use physics to make the balls clack and rebound at the top and bottom of the swing.(I realize a safer toy with a handle is on the market,much shorter and smaller).The recall came after it was found that not only would the balls shatter but could smash bones astonishingly easy.It was way too tempting to use these as a bola on you cat or siblings.Great status symbol for a boy in the early '70s.

    --
    *Repent!Quit Your Job!Slack Off!The World Ends Tomorrow and You May Die!
    1. Re:Anyone remember Clackers? by Ignis+Flatus · · Score: 1

      yeah, i remember a girl that had some clackers, and i think she called them click-clacks. i could have sworn they were originally made of glass, though, and that is why they got taken off the market. anyway, they were cool.

      but yeah, not including toys that might cause serious eye damage like clackers is pretty lame. two of the toys on the list, the cap gun and rebel cannon, were obviously chosen for political reasons. and that made me then view the whole list as pretty lame. bicycles (we used to jump ours over ditches and zip through the woods on them), skateboards, rollerskates, paintballs... these toys are infinitely more dangerous than all except maybe the lawn darts. anyone ever have a junior archery set? dart board? i honestly can't remember if my chemistry set had anything dangerous, but that might be worth checking out as well.

      hey Radar, if you're reading this, i just wanted to let you know how much you guys suck. have a nice day. :)

    2. Re:Anyone remember Clackers? by Ailure · · Score: 1

      Intresting... it's kind of sad though, the only time I saw clackers was through a virtual version on Wario ware:Touched.

  113. I Hope I'm Not the Only Sick Bastard by mrpaco18 · · Score: 1

    Did anyone else see that first picture of the kid that had a jart stuck in his shoulder and immediately start playing with it in Photoshop?

  114. I still love my Jarts! by jayconverse · · Score: 1

    When my father-in-law passed away a few years ago, as we cleaned up the garage, we found an original boxed set of Jarts. They were a little scuffed up, but all the pieces were there. I thought about selling them on Ebay, but what the heck, they might still be fun!

    So, I took them to a NASCAR race at Richmond, where you tailgate all day long waiting for the night race. Guess what? Drunken red-necks love dangerous toys - they were the hit of the horseshoe set! A wild horseshoe gives you a bruise. A wild Jart gives you a story for the boys back home.

  115. Re:Asshole by KDR_11k · · Score: 1

    We've had a wooden house on a public playground in my hometown. It stank of urine and alcohol. The sand areas often contained hidden treasures of the broken beer bottle variety too. Especially lovely near/in the crawlspace (which was a concrete sewer pipe).

    --
    Justice is the sheep getting arrested while an impartial judge declares the vote void.
  116. Re:Asshole by FishWithAHammer · · Score: 1

    Your irrelevant comment about "pro-lifers" aside (I'm firmly in the pro-choice camp, thanks)--that's where "backup plans" come in, yes?

    --
    "You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic, but you cannot have both at the same time."
  117. Re:Asshole by PlusFiveTroll · · Score: 1

    Why not kill the stupid hurtful people?

  118. Re:Asshole by PlusFiveTroll · · Score: 1

    Most childeren are born in third world countries with terrible poverty. Rich people have fewer or no childern. I do not think your idea is working.

  119. Fake! by triso · · Score: 1

    Airsoft minigun loaded with metal BBs. An obvious fake. There is some liquid which pours out and sets the ground on fire.

  120. Re:Asshole by edschurr · · Score: 1

    I spend most of my time in small towns and small cities so I haven't seen a lot of playground structures, but the one I had in elementary school (gr. 3 to 7) was the best I have seen. The metal ones are usually low, fairly disconnected platforms, slides, poles, and monkey-bars.

    I have very little to do so here's a diagram as close as I remember: E-shaped wooden playground structure (with heights).

    Legend:
    A— plastic tube tunnel with static properties.
    B— swinging plank obstacle.
    C— swinging tires obstacle.
    D— high catwalk with little nubs to trip over.
    E— raising catwalk with wavy bridge.
    F— bridge to the platform, with a dip in the centre.
    G— platform with walled room underneath; poles to slide down on two sides.
    H— half-tube slide to the ground; in retrospect it was plastic like at A.

    I think a section like B might be around 14-feet long.

    It was built with 4x4s iirc so there were 4-inch gaps in the walls which many climbed up; the wood mostly wasn't broken such that you could get a splinter. The floor of the playground was mostly bark wood chips that gave one tonnes of little splinters if touched, so everyone avoided touching it; it was a poor choice for sure. Nobody that I know of sprained or broke anything while I was there, but a few people ended up crying; I never heard of any injuries after that so presumably nothing serious happened. Eventually the playground was destroyed due to weakening wood. It was replaced with a few low metal structures that looked lousy—liability-free and cheap to put together I guess.

    The only problem with sand is that you can get sand in your shoes fairly easily. I'd guess decent wood chips are ideal but I haven't tested any. The bark shards were actually somewhat soft but otherwise sucked.

    I'd say though that a good design would be better in metal than wood for the most part, although I wonder about the slipperiness of the bars.

    Damn, now what am I going to do...

  121. Probably by moosehooey · · Score: 1

    Probably from jumping out of the way after "Oh jesus it's coming at my face!"

  122. N-word? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It has the N-word in it so it must be dangerous, right?

    Radioactive niggers. Everybody run!

  123. I can't believe they left out... by Tempest_2084 · · Score: 1

    Spaceballs the Flame Thrower! The kids love that one...

    Seriously though, I fondly remember Jarts. About the only dangerous thing that ever happened when I used them was a broken birdbath (and I was aiming for it). I vaguely remember hearing about some kid who put one through his skull, but I assumed that was just an urban legend. Guess not... I wonder if my grandparents still have that Jarts set? It would be cool to show my kids how 'dangerous' toys used to be. Those things were fun!!!

  124. Creepy Crawlers by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ohh man were those fun!!!!

  125. Re:Omissions: 6. Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun by RealGene · · Score: 1

    Who needed the gun? My brother and I would take a roll of caps (100 per roll), lay it on the pavement, and hit it with a sledge hammer.

    --
    Mission: To provide products that consume time and energy as entertainingly as permitted by the laws of thermodynamics.
  126. How can we? by themusicgod1 · · Score: 1

    Bewitched is under copyright; ie semi-permenently lost to history. Another example, perhaps?

    --
    GENERATION 26: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation.
    1. Re:How can we? by zuiraM · · Score: 1

      It's available on DVD, so I'm not sure "lost to history" is accurate.

      That said, you can probably find another series from that time which deals with a comparable age interval.

    2. Re:How can we? by camperdave · · Score: 1

      Torrents are available, so just "time shift" it.

      --
      When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
  127. What did the canon video say? by mattnuzum · · Score: 1

    "...and we'll all be gay when Johnie comes marching home." Its also interesting the way it ends with, "and girls want one too."

  128. Re:Asshole by mrchaotica · · Score: 1

    That tends to become more of a problem after the stupid people reach adulthood, which is why they should be given the chance to off themselves as children.

    --

    "[Regarding the 'cloud,'] ownership was what made America different than Russia." -- Woz

  129. Re:Asshole by mrchaotica · · Score: 1
    That's part of the problem with a lot of "pro-lifers" they only care about the kid when it's in the fetus, but after it's born, it's sink or swim elitism, baby.

    Those issues have nothing to do with each other. There's plenty of us so-called "sink or swim elitists" that are pro-choice, and plenty of "pro-life" morons who also favor state nanny-ism.

    --

    "[Regarding the 'cloud,'] ownership was what made America different than Russia." -- Woz

  130. Who's side are you on? by SupaYoda · · Score: 1
    They're just going to sneak into all of our homes and place a pea under each mattress; after which we will simply whine ourselves to fucking death.

    My god, man! Are you mad?! Somewhere, at this very moment, a terrorist is reading this! How dare you reveal our weaknesses to the enemy?! What next, suggesting that they steal television remote controls? You sick, sick bastard.

  131. Re:Asshole by thestallion · · Score: 1

    I actually have to agree with this poster very much. His language may be coarse, yes. But as someone who was a child at the time the bigtoys/playgrounds switched to plastic/rubber coated, I must concur that the older wooden playgrounds were far superior. Not because they were wooden, in fact the splinters did suck a lot. However, they were bigger, crazier, more innovative, and just plain more fun. They also contained far more dangerous designs. Bigger drops, longer slides, those tire pits you could bounce around in which often cause you to fall, slides made of metal rollers, large ordinary metal slides that were faster, a steamroller style hamster wheel sort of running-in-place device, and all sorts of fun structures. We stopped using the bigtoys altogether at some parks and schools right when they changed them to the stupid new designs. With the old designs, being able to fall from high up, move quickly on slides, and launch way into the air because the swings were so big was part of the thrill. The renovation of California's bigtoys pussified them all so much that now they are much less fun.

    Ideally they should have switched to plastic and rubber to avoid splinters, yet still keep true to the the awesome structural designs of the past. But someone might get hurt, oh no! When you are a kid is the time you can have fun hurting yourself and still recover easily. On that note, might I add our liability laws in the US are hideous and should be wholly rewritten.

  132. Rock collector set with Asbestos by dgmartin98 · · Score: 1

    I had a rock collection set that I received as a gift - complete with a nice specimen of asbestos.

    --
    FPGA, Wireless, ASIC, Verilog, VHDL, HW, 10yr exp, Team Lead, Ottawa (More? Email above. slashdotusername=dgmartin98 )
  133. Article Synopsis by YetAnotherBob · · Score: 1

    Don't bother reading. The author wants 'total safety' to be implemented, meaning that Kids will no longer be allowed to play with anything. CSPC bureraucratic unlimited power dreams realized.

    The items listed, like lawn darts, flying toys, plastic darts and cap guns are objected to because they have caused problems when swallowed, or when thrown at someones face. No admission that anything might have been the fault of a person using anything wrongly. Most of the argumenst seem to be from some lawsuit, and are almost totally devoid of reality. You can only imagine what she must think of BB guns, or bow and arrow sets. A Kite would be one of her greatest nightmares. Just imagine how many kids could be strangled with the string, or poked in the eye by a stick! One cap gun was presented as a problem because caps might be set off near a childs groin! She actually wrote that. Proof yet again that the only unlimited resource is stupidity.

    As previous posters comments show, one science kit had 'radiation' as the primary problem. The amount of radiation was less than that recieved from exposure to sunlight in the park, but that has no relevance to this clueless child abuser. (Yes, limiting children the way this person wants to is abuse.)

    --
    Everybody knows 3 people with my name.
  134. Mr. Potato Head by DdJ · · Score: 1

    The most dangerous toy I've personally ever seen was the original Mr. Potato Head.

    It didn't come with a potato. You used it with real potatos. It was a bunch of parts like eyes and a nose and arms and stuff, with long, sharp spikes on the other end. You'd drive them deep into actual tubers instead of some soft vinyl thing.

    Now that was a dangerous toy.

  135. they forgot one by redline452 · · Score: 1
    from http://www.sportsstuff.com/news/07-13-06/index.sht ml
    Sportsstuff Wego Kite Tubes Withdrawn from Market after Reports of Deaths and Injuries
    WASHINGTON, D.C. - In cooperation with the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC), Sportsstuff, Inc., of Omaha, Nebraska is voluntarily recalling about 19,000 Wego Kite Tubes.
    CPSC staff is aware of 39 injury incidents with 29 of those resulting in medical treatment. Those injuries include a broken neck, punctured lung, chest and back injuries and facial injuries. Sportsstuff has received reports of two deaths in the United States and a variety of serious injuries. Sportsstuff has been unable to determine the cause of the incidents. Nevertheless, the company has withdrawn the kite tube from the market and is undertaking this voluntary recall out of an abundance of caution.
    The Sportsstuff Wego Kite Tube is a 10-foot-wide, circular, yellow inflatable watercraft designed to be towed behind a power boat. A rider in the tube becomes airborne by pulling on handles attached to the floor of the tube. Model 53-5000 is printed on the tube near the product valve. The floor of the tube has black caution warning stripes. The cover for the product bears a skull and crossbones and the statement "Never Kite higher than you are willing to fall." The tubes were imported and sold through marine distributors, mail order catalogs, and various retailers from approximately October 1, 2005 to July 11, 2006 for about $500 to $600.

    and how do I know this? - I gave my nephew one for his birthday.
    Reportedly, it was loads of fun, right up until his older brother ignored a few important safety instructions then violated what is printed on each side of the tube in large, friendly letters:
    Never kite higher than you are willing to fall
    thereby earning himself an impressive goose-egg and blown sinus from an estimated 30 feet up at 40 mph. The recall notice arrived in my inbox shortly after. The good news is, no lasting damage, although he looked an awful lot like Saku Koivu right after that eye injury. Even more amazingly, his mother (the nephew, not Saku's) is still speaking to me.
    Darn, I wanted to try it myself.