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A Look at Microsoft's Security War Room
Josh Fink writes "C|Net has an interesting piece about Microsoft's Security War Room, or rather, shall I say rooms. This room came about when Microsoft's security chief, Mike Nash, had issues finding open conference rooms. The response; a dedicated room only for him and his staff to handle emergencies. "And while he was at it, why not have two? That way, the folks working on fixing a security crisis could have a little breathing room from those drafting the public and customer communications around the issue. ""
"No Penguins Allowed"
Anyone notice that all the swivel chairs are bolted to the ground? I wonder why they made them fixed and permanent.
And in one of them, you will find a WinMe machine wanting to challenge you to a tick-tack-toe.
Viruses, backdoors, security holes, buffer overflows, trojans galore... and they get a room. Ooooh, they're so dedicated to security!
But do they have a ping-pong table???
I get that they call it the "Security War Room" but what is it used for?
They have a big sign out front indicating security, but they don't even have locks on the kitchen cabinets.
Is it just me or is slashdot's headlines as of late running parallel to the average idiots way of describing everything as a war?
Somewhat disconcerting, and humorous at the same time seeing as MS has a 'war room'. All while knowing of the monumental failures of current wars. E.g 'war on drugs' 'war on poverty' 'war on obesity', etc.
I guess just add 'war against standards compliancy' to the list.
Bought the ticket, taking the ride.
http://it.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/12/03/0717229
Patents Drive Free Software as Hurricanes Drive Construction Industry
...any windows there... ;)
Maybe I didn't examine the cabinets closely enough, but all the "food" in the slideshow picture was either coffee or items you'd use to flavor coffee. I know the old joke about programmers being machines that turn caffeine into code, but...
Microsoft's top engineers relentlessly persue their war on security.
Home fucking is killing prostitution.
But where is the "sekrit world headquarters" of Linux that they intend to nuke?
Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
One dedicated fix team for all that code?
That wouldn't make sense at all, there's too much for anyone to grasp. It would be like a dedicated fix team that cover Linux+KDE+OpenOffice. (replace Linux with OpenSolaris or *BSD if you like, KDE with Gnome or some other high-feature window/session/desktop manager if you like)
It's to complex to keep aware of the ins-and-outs of everything - just one of those would be hard enough. Each project should have their own dedicated fix team - The top-string regular devs for the project (hence they understand the code), maybe one or two outsiders (another perspective), who normally work on the specific project, but drop everything and work on fixes if they occur.
Also, it never said that they didn't (or for that matter, did) already have a dedicated team then (or now), simply that until '05, they had to share conference rooms.
Self proclaimed typo king, and inventor of the bear destroying coffee table (patent not pending).
When I read there were two rooms, my first reaction was: one to work on the current security threat, a second to work on the security threats created by the first one...
...where the lawyers can nap?
If a baby duck is a "duckling," why would anyone want to eat "dumplings?"
It's a backup for when the first room crashes!
- a bag of pretzels
- a couple bottles of hersheys chocolate syrup
- one can of soda or juice
- a couple containers of nondairy creamer
- 3 bottles that look like liquor bottles
All that to feed a group of engineers that "gets hit with an emergency and has to pull an all-nighter."Sounds like a typical geek diet to me.
Post-op greasy haired poster-tranny 'Ina Fried' ....talk about needing a junk filter. Toss this 'reporter' out along w/goatse.
it's nice that it's so clearly stated exactly why there is this "war room". We have similar requests by various teams in our organization as if a war room is some amazing thing that you just can't live without. In reality it's almost always because some asshat can't be bothered to book meeting rooms in advance. If all the rooms are always booked, add more rooms. What you end up with is a room that no one else can use and except in dire situations, no one is using at ALL.
The sign out front looks like it had a bigger budget than the room itself.
Truthfully, it looks just like any other conference room, except they have fewer food items in the cabinets, and the place looks much less professional. I dare say it even looks cheaply done.
There is no one in those rooms!
CDE open sourced! https://sourceforge.net/projects/cdesktopenv/
I expected this, not some crummy office with a conference table.
Why do I get a vision of Jack Bauer taking orders from Bill Gates to wipe some Chinese online terrorists off the map from some CTU-like complex?
The game.
The photo with Harvey Keitel. All they need now is start listening to the man.
So it's not like the Maytag commercials where the old repair guy is reading a newspaper and bored for lack of work?
"You can't patch in here, this is the Microsoft Security War Room!"
I've been in a few war rooms, control centers, command centers, etc etc etc over the years. Even helped design one a little. 4 Flat screens is all they've got? Four? That's no war room. Scuffle closet maybe?
- The Kessel run is for nerf herders. I can circumnavigate the entire Central Finite Curve in a lot less than 12 parse
Actually, it's not. Someone obviously screwed up the story. To fix it, just read "war room" as "blood bath".
But where is the "sekrit world headquarters" of Linux that they intend to nuke?
The Antarctic, of course. Haven't you seen the Linux mascot?
Developers: We can use your help.
They are a marketing company for goodness sake. This was obviously the job of a new hire attempting to provide marketing material to show who Microsoft cares about security. His/her supervisor obviously over looked this persons ability to spin up a good story. As you noted, the mock-up room was very poorly done.
LoB
"Anyone who stands out in the middle of a road looks like roadkill to me." --Linus
(Quote from Contact)
sigs are hazardous to your health
That's just one of Twitter's fingerpuppets. Everyone in the know has long since foe'd him and is ignoring whatever he says.
SRSLY.
"Gentlemen, you can't patch sotware here! This is the security war room!"
Kwisatz Haderach
Sell the spice to CHOAM
This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
How ironic.
And in the previous photograph, entitled 'And this is our food cupboard': Some syrups, a bag of pretzels and instant coffee. Obviously, they don't take security problems that seriously.
Genesis 1:32 And God typed
Seriously, a few photos of a conference room? And Harvey Keitel and an espresso machine? This is just a room where people sit down to discuss issues. Just like in every office everywhere in the world, except this one has some TVs on the wall. Can I please have that 10 minutes of my life back?
Someone should photoshop that first pic so that the Dell flatpanel shows either a BSOD or "All your base are belong to us" message.
It seems fitting they have a picture of Harvey Keitel playing The Wolf character from Pulp Fiction hung on the wall.
I've had to clean up after a large scale Microsoft failure a few times, and it the whole process did seem like going on "Brain Detail" in the back of a car.
-ted
...
The Microsoft Security Response Center (MSRC) was completed in June 2005. Why would anyone shill 2+ year old "news"?
[Fuck Beta]
o0t!
Gentlemen there's no fighting in here. This is the war room.
I imagine a bunker outfitted with state of the are iLoo's and binders labeled "targets in megadeath". Purity of essence!
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
When you came pulling in here, did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Server Storage?
;) )
(If you don't know what I'm talking about, RTFA
- Despite popular opinion, I am not perfect.
Sounds like Ina's junk was filtered some time ago. But be nice, trannies are people too.
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
No need to even RTFA.
I swear to God...I swear to God! That is NOT how you treat your human!
But... Microsoft told me they take security seriously! They wouldn't lie to me!
My blog. Good stuff (when I remember to update it). Read it.
as modern technology should have replaced having to require dedicated meeting rooms... aren't videoconferencing and whiteboard software up to the task yet??? It should enable people to have meetings across several timezones without having to go to the trouble of all traveling to one place...
or is this just some form of juvenile office politics... look, my meeting must be important, all these people had to drop everything to come to it...
Donald 'Duck' Dunn: We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline.
That is just so cheap with the VGA cable hanging from the projector like that! Haven't they ever heard of trunking?!
Warbling, Articulating Responses Room...
Wide-Area Radioactivity Room
Previously: "Linux... Toward the Sunrise..." Now: "Linux... Toward the-- No, now, part of Every Sunrise"
one of the biggest software companies in the world got not only one, but two unused conference rooms!
I smell a Pulitzer on its way.
A picture of Harvey Keitel from Pulp Fuction? What, no Dr. Strangelove pics available?
Also, I have to wonder how wise it is for C|Net to post that picture in light of this article, especially since it bears the legend "(C) CNET Networks."
Dear Slashdot: next time you want to mess with the site, add a rich-text editor for comments.
It looks like Microsoft is so cheap on security that they couldn't even spring for a long enough cable to the projector to keep it from hanging down in the middle of the conference room table. Someone should tell them that the shortest is not always the best route.
Please wear a helmet; look out for flying chairs.
Make it show an OS X desktop.
Based on CIA intel gathered from mailing list posts we believe the HQ is located in a place only referred to as "The Basement". The actual location of The Basement is sketchy, but we believe it's somewhere in the oil-rich fields of south-east Iran.
// MD_Update(&m,buf,j);
I'm sure they're vastly simplifying their processes. This seems to just be a triage centre (and a fairly rudimentary one too). I doubt the actual fixing takes place here, rather just co-ordinating that process.
09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0 Whoops, silly middle mouse button...
More than meets the eye:
http://www.wolfware.dk/intro/welcome.asp
~hylas
that's kinda what I was trying to say, but you were much more concise.
showoff
Self proclaimed typo king, and inventor of the bear destroying coffee table (patent not pending).
I wonder if those two rooms are connected via a corridor, making an 'H' shaped building.
Wow Microsoft has office meeting rooms too? What a concept let's tell the world what i discovered. I want my braincells back i lost after reading this
I wonder if Apple has a "war room"?
If they do, I think iScrewed would be an apt name for it. Of course it wouldn't be used nearly as much as Microsoft's... hmm... maybe thats where they come up with all the Mac vs. PC ads.
Twitter: Level 50 Tech Troll
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Known Powers: Charged FUD, Cliche Bolts, Microsoft Derangement Field, Summon Sockpuppets, Will of the Ideologue
...on security, of course. Not much unlike the ongoing war on terror.
If it walks like a shill, writes like a shill, chances are it is a shill.
Little Stevie and Bill, moderating truthful statements about your company as Trolls will not make them untrue.
we will end no whine before its time
For some reason I think that if the description had included FTFA: "The Microsoft Security Response Center (MSRC) was completed in June 2005. The engineering conference room includes four flat-panel screens that can display live TV or a computer screen as well as a couple dozen chairs, though the place is often standing-room-only in a real crisis." It would not be slashdotted at the moment.
MISSING - Sig file. 2 years old black and white and very funny. If found please email me.
Not to go too far OT, there was a great documentary by the same name. If you haven't seen it, rent it. It's a fascinating look at the "behind the scenes".
Yet another "war room". And like the parent, I've never heard it called anything else.
For a moment I thought it was from The Onion ..
Everything Microsoft has done is just funny (Balmer's dances, Zune Squirt, and this)..
Who needs The Onion when we got Microsoft
Basically, they separated the urinals from the stalls.
It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
People take the chairs and put them in their office. They always leave one swivel chair so they can say they just took the extras. The offices generally have a swivel chair and a normal one that they replace the stolen swivel chair with. Then you get emails saying where is my swivel chair. I got it really bad once. Both of my swivel chairs were taken and replaced with fixed wooden chairs that were old and had would looked like booger stains on them.
I bet that room is used for playing games instead.
http://208.65.153.251/watch?v=Hxx2KcPWWZg
A room for handling security problems at Microsoft.... they should have turned the second room into a Starbucks, because you know they are using the room 24/7 :)
"It's better to be a pirate then join the Navy"
>>It's to complex to keep aware of the ins-and-outs of everything
Maybe a general problem with a monolithic platform, used on most computers around the world, maintained by a single company?? Ah... now were seeing the problem...
"Knowledge is the only instrument of production that is not subject to diminishing returns" -Journal of Political Econom
Haha, no worries. You're the one getting all the mod points here!
09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0 Whoops, silly middle mouse button...
They couldn't even have the LCD projector cables neatly routed. Its just like hanging down onto the table like.. OMG.. is that tied into a noose? OMG, is that a body!!!
Pretty please, with sugar on top, fix the fucking security hole.
Never monkey with another monkey's monkey.
Or are the screens the only vista? ...Lorenzo
...Lorenzo / I'm into kinky crustaceans. I just discovered internet praWn.
Its not what I would expect a MS security room.
I thought it would be full of MS staff making security fixes to their software but who am I kidding?
This is funny :D
You've made my day
monolitic isn't the problem. Compartmentalized it isn't so bad. My thoughts are (and in fact, I know this to be true, knowing several MS employees), they are quite compartmentalized. The do share some code and some work, but the OS devs don't work on Office, and the office devs don't work on the OS. So, they are handling it appropriately (contrary to what the original poster who I first replied to would suggest was best).
Self proclaimed typo king, and inventor of the bear destroying coffee table (patent not pending).
It does look dreary, dull and univiting to get work done. They might as well have put it in the storage basement, at least that might have had some cachet. Ok, I know it's only a conference room afterall but urghhh.