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Japan's Unique Cow/Whale Hybrid Experiments

RemyBR writes "Controversial scientific research happens all the time, but a review conducted by scientists in Japan uncovered a list of 'bizarre' trials - including one program designed to crossbreed cows with whales.'Scientists have analyzed 43 research papers produced by Japan over 18 years, finding most were useless or esoteric. The scientific research included injecting minke whale sperm into cows eggs, and attempts to produce test-tube whale babies.'"

348 comments

  1. Love It or Hate It? by eldavojohn · · Score: 5, Funny

    I really am torn on these experiments, I mean I could seriously question the motive and nature:

    Of all the animals you had to pick from you went with cows and whales? Cows and wales? What's next? Sloths and sea sponges? You had the chance to go Island of Doctor Moreau and you tried to recreate a manatee (hello? already exists!) instead of ... oh I don't know ... hybridizing wolverines and great white sharks?

    On the other hand, I could also defend it with other logic, just as solid:

    I don't see anything wrong with it. It was all a matter of time before this happened naturally anyways. Interspecies mating happens all the time between donkeys and horses resulting in a mule or hinny. Occasionally squash and pumpkin plants cross fertilize. It's common. Really, it was only a matter of time before a heard of cattle near the ocean resulted in a particularly rowdy bull wandering into the Ross Sea or Pacific Ocean to jump the bones of a minke whale thus creating a hybrid. Who knows, maybe these would be as useful as mules are? I'm sure the poor of third world countries could use another pack animal--now for oceanic voyages!

    --
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    1. Re:Love It or Hate It? by shawn(at)fsu · · Score: 2, Funny

      What's next? Sloths and sea sponges?
      I think it's going to be a pig-elephant.

      (I clicked no karma bonus as it's a pretty weak joke)

      --
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    2. Re:Love It or Hate It? by MrNaz · · Score: 5, Funny

      *Mumbles something about welcoming new cowhale overlords*
      *Gets modded to the depths of hell*
      *Swears*

      --
      I hate printers.
    3. Re:Love It or Hate It? by master_p · · Score: 3, Funny

      Of all the animals you had to pick from you went with cows and whales? Cows and wales? What's next? Sloths and sea sponges?
      Sharks and bulls, apparently...with freaking lasers mounted between their horns.
    4. Re:Love It or Hate It? by TobyRush · · Score: 5, Funny

      It was all a matter of time before this happened naturally anyways.

      No kidding! In fact, when I read the headline my first thought is that these guys were experimenting with ways to put a stop to the rampant cow/whale breeding that has been taking place in cities like mine. It's really transformed my neighborhood in such a way that I'm no longer comfortable letting my kids play out front, at least not unsupervised.

      --
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      I will try them.
      You will see.
    5. Re:Love It or Hate It? by greginnj · · Score: 5, Interesting
      Agreed, cows and whales sounds ridiculous. But my first reaction was - I'm sure "Japan" has published more than 43 research papers in 18 years; how did they pick these?? And a quick check of TFA reveals:

      A review of the controversial scientific research conducted by Japan and its whalers has uncovered...
      Aha! So it's not just the Ploxmire awards, it's a review of the specious "research" the whalers conduct in order to continue hunting whales. These crucial words were left out of the summary, and makes it seem even more ridiculous. Makes much more sense now, and explains why whales are involved, and they won't bother with sloths and sea sponges. It's sort of a more gruesome version of Canadian lottery quizzes.
      --
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    6. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm sorry, but:

      Pig and Elephant DNA just won't splice

      Apologies to Loverboy

    7. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Brian+Gordon · · Score: 3, Funny

      All I want is sharks with lasers mounted on their heads. Is that so much to ask?

    8. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Naughty+Bob · · Score: 1

      New technology will make the Human race indistinguishable from gods in many ways.

      The question is- Do we, as a race, set about becoming good at techniques such as genetic engineering, or do we sit back and wait for crazy shit to happen (evil billionaires, rogue states etc.)?

      --
      "Be light, stinging, insolent and melancholy"
    9. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Bill,+Shooter+of+Bul · · Score: 3, Insightful

      I think the combo makes sense. Japan still hunts for whales, which gets them a lot of bad press. What if, they could grow whale meat on land? You'd want whale flesh in a easily manageable form that lacks the intelligence of a whale, but you already had facilities to breed, slaughter and distribute.

      --
      Well.. maybe. Or Maybe not. But Definitely not sort of.
    10. Re:Love It or Hate It? by ArcherB · · Score: 4, Funny

      I think it's going to be a pig-elephant. Maybe, but that really wouldn't take the work of Japanese scientists. All you need is a pot-bellied pig, an elephant, lots of alcohol, and some Isaac Hayes music.

      However, it will probably end up that a closeted gay, balding school teacher did all the "real" work. Even then, what good will it be if only has one ass?
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    11. Re:Love It or Hate It? by watzinaneihm · · Score: 1

      Of all the animals you had to pick from you went with cows and whales?
      I don't know why they picked cows, but Japan has a very good reason to pick whales. They are pretty much the only country in the world that engages in whaling and "scientific research" is the only excuse that Japan has to continue this. Oh and "tradition" - never mind the fact that Japanese whale-eating "tradition" was really a byproduct of food shortages after second world war...
      --
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    12. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Adambomb · · Score: 2, Insightful

      "Contrary to popular belief, the most dangerous animal is not the lion or
      tiger or even the elephant. The most dangerous animal is a shark riding
      on an elephant, just trampling and eating everything they see." oh Jack Handey
      --
      Ice Cream has no bones.
    13. Re:Love It or Hate It? by flyingsquid · · Score: 5, Informative
      It's not quite as bizarre as it sounds, actually. Whales are ungulates like cows, actually part of the even-toed ungulate group (artiodactyls) that includes cows, goats, deer, etc. So whales are actually closer to cows than horses are. The paleontologists thought the molecular biologists were on crack when they published those results, but eventually they dug up early whales with ankle joints which are remarkably similar to those of cows and other ungulates, and the artiodactyl-whale hypothesis has now been embraced.

      So it's not completely bizarre, just... mostly bizarre. Yes, whales are artiodactyls, but they're pretty damn highly modified ones: no hindlimbs, nostrils that open on top of the skull, lots of extra finger bones. Even if you got a sperm to successfully fertilize an egg, I can't imagine that the cowhale/whalecow embryo would survive for long when the developmental patterns of the parents are so different. And what would that tell you? Whale/cow love ain't likely to work out? Shit, I could've told you THAT without an experiment. I gotta agree with the critics: this doesn't strike me as serious scientific research. I have a very hard time believing that you could write up a grant proposal for this experiment and get a favorable review.

    14. Re:Love It or Hate It? by watzinaneihm · · Score: 1

      We don't have cow-whales breeding in our town yet, but dolphin-cows are a menace around here. I would'nt mind if they did whatever they did in private, but this public indecency has to shop. All this cavorting and interspecies breeding can do no good, I tell you. Look at this picture . Have you ever seen anything so wrong? A poor little cow corrupted by a cruel fish

      --
      .ACMD setaloiv siht gnidaeR
    15. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Remus+Shepherd · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Seems natural to me, from a japanese perspective. Japanese like eating whales. Cows are easy to breed and keep. It would be a terrific thing for Japan if they could make cows that tasted like whales. (It wouldn't be a bad thing from the whales' perspective, either.)

      --
      Genocide Man -- Life is funny. Death is funnier. Mass murder can be hilarious.
    16. Re:Love It or Hate It? by ady1 · · Score: 1

      Which side are you on? Cows or whales? *ducks*

    17. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Didn't Dr. Clayton Forrester pioneer this genre of animal experimentation when he grafted the butt of a dog onto the butt of a cat? The double butt graft... Sure, they all laughed...

    18. Re:Love It or Hate It? by The+End+Of+Days · · Score: 5, Funny

      Dolphins aren't fish, they just taste the same.

    19. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Chris+Burke · · Score: 1

      Aha! So it's not just the Ploxmire awards, it's a review of the specious "research" the whalers conduct in order to continue hunting whales. These crucial words were left out of the summary, and makes it seem even more ridiculous. Makes much more sense now, and explains why whales are involved, and they won't bother with sloths and sea sponges. It's sort of a more gruesome version of Canadian lottery quizzes.

      I automatically assumed that's what it was. The intent behind the 'research' jumped right out at me and bit me on the nose.

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    20. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Drooling+Iguana · · Score: 2, Funny

      It's an avian spy! Get 'im!

      --
      ... I'm addicted to placebos
    21. Re:Love It or Hate It? by meatspray · · Score: 1

      meh, I bet they were working on 3.5 ton (3175kg) beef cattle.

    22. Re:Love It or Hate It? by c_forq · · Score: 1

      I think it makes perfect since, if you think about Japan. Japan wants whale meat, but isn't supposed to hunt whales. Imagine if you could create cattle that have meat similar to that of a whale! Remember that beef is already expensive in Japan, and you will see that if you can achieve it you will have quite literal cash cow.

      --
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    23. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Ashbory · · Score: 2, Funny

      forget the elephant. I wanna see a man-bear-pig!

    24. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Sciros · · Score: 2, Informative

      Japan isn't the only country in the world that still hunts whales. Norway, Canada, Greenland, Iceland, even the US (Alaskan natives) engages in it. Norway I think brings in more whales than even Japan, though reportedly they use more humane killing methods (or at least are better at using the same ones).

      But yeah, the research that was looked at was indeed part of the "research" that the whaling industry sort of conducts in order to keep doing the whole song and dance so they can say they whale for scientific research. Most of it, though, is of course research that they claim involves "lethal sampling" (that way they can say they kill the whale in the name of science, rather than in the name of, um, selling to a high-end restaurant chain or something).

      --
      I like basketball!!1!
    25. Re:Love It or Hate It? by The+Fun+Guy · · Score: 4, Interesting
      Of all the animals you had to pick from you went with cows and whales?

      Actually, cows (Bos taurus) are members of the Aritodactyla order:

      Cetaceans

      One group of artiodactyls (which molecular biology suggests were most closely related to Hippopotamidae) returned to the sea to become whales. Thus Artiodactyla without Cetacea is a paraphyletic group. For this reason, the term Cetartiodactyla was coined to refer to the group containing both artiodactyls and whales.[3]


      Commingling of sperm and egg will let you know how closely related the molecular recognition is between these related species. Count the number of divisions in the zygote until it fails due to genetic incompatibility, and you have more information on cross-species recognition. Since you already know how closely cows and whales are (by molecular fingerprinting), that will let you calibrate this information.

      It's value can be seen in modern cross-breeding of more closely related animals, and how to suppress incompatibilities to allow for valuable traits to be incorporated into livestock from wild cousins.
      --
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    26. Re:Love It or Hate It? by RKBA · · Score: 1

      This is the first time in history that I've ever thought a SlashDot comment was so funny that I had to print it out on PAPER to share with others, har, har. I have mod points and would love to give you more, but you're already at +5

    27. Re:Love It or Hate It? by tgd · · Score: 1

      I was thinking Kobe Sushi might be good... Maybe they really want to be able to fish their beef?

    28. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Harmonious+Botch · · Score: 1

      Sorry, but it doesn't make sense. Nice try, though.
      The reason that beef is so expensive in Japan is that they don't have lots of land fit for raising cattle. So even if they create some modified cattle, they still won't be able to profitably raise it. Indeed, it would hurt them: if they proved that it could be done, some US firm will create their own hybrid and grow it in the US, thereby competing with the Japanese whale hunting firms.

    29. Re:Love It or Hate It? by MyNymWasTaken · · Score: 1

      The first thing I thought of was sligs, a cross between a large slug and a pig. A delicacy: 'The sweetest meat this side of heaven.'

    30. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0


      I automatically assumed that's what it was.


      Good for you! You get a gold star and five minutes extra nap time today.

      The intent behind the 'research' jumped right out at me and bit me on the nose.

      Did it hurt?

    31. Re:Love It or Hate It? by c_forq · · Score: 1

      If I recall correctly Norway is the only commercial hunter of whales. It left the International Whaling Commission when they refused to end (or more accurately extended) the moratorium on whale hunting. The IWC does allow capturing whales for research purposes, which Japan uses, and a singular annual catch for indigenous peoples and peoples with whaling heritage (used by peoples in the US, Canada, Greenland, and Iceland).

      --
      Computers allow humans to make mistakes at the fastest speeds known, with the possible exception of tequila and handguns
    32. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Barbobot · · Score: 1

      I think they're working on Onion Bunnies, so crunchy and ... bonion-y ... bonnioyum ... !

      These will of course make living sandwiches if you put an onion bunny on the back of a giant cow, perked up with some crisp tortoise pickles, sliced tomato zebra, and giant iceberg lettuce butterflies.

      Try painting still life now, I've made nature my tasty canvas!

    33. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Dogtanian · · Score: 4, Insightful

      What if, they could grow whale meat on land? There wouldn't be any point. As this story explains, it's not like the Japanese really like whale meat anyway- the driving forces behind it are political and related to fishing and Japanese sovereignty.

      That's why their government is pursuing whaling, trying to get people to eat the stuff and exaggerating the extent to which whaling and whale-meat consumption is a traditional part of Japanese culture.

      Personally, the whole thing disgusts me, as does the intelligence-insulting excuse that this has anything to do with science. That includes these bullshit "experiments", which are laughable but (under the circumstances) not particularly funny.
      --
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    34. Re:Love It or Hate It? by ObsessiveMathsFreak · · Score: 1

      Actually, I believe they taste like beef, which brings us around full circle to the original topic.

      --
      May the Maths Be with you!
    35. Re:Love It or Hate It? by awrowe · · Score: 1

      Of all the animals you had to pick from you went with cows and whales?

      God, could you imagine the roses you could grow with their manure!?

      Gardeners would be going insane - actually, forget roses, think about the zucchini!

      --
      A.I. Research. The peculiar science in which we know the question and we know the answer, but can't show the working
    36. Re:Love It or Hate It? by pizzach · · Score: 1

      Supposedly, whale meat tastes a heck of a lot like beef because they are both mammals. So in a nutshell, Cows can already be thought of as the less intelligent, easier to manage "whale" on land. Even if Japan managed to create a race of huge, land-dwelling sperm-cows, I am not sure where they would raise them with the lack of land. Smaller Sperm Wales that would be raised in hatcheries might make sense though. Japan has a lot of salt water and catching fish actually fits the culture.

      --
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    37. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Valcrus · · Score: 1

      This is just weird. But if you could make your own whales that reproduce easier you would have food and you would have more for "scientific research". I wish they would work on better animals. I want my mini Elephant and Grizzly Bear!!

    38. Re:Love It or Hate It? by not-enough-info · · Score: 1

      Any breeding program that creates more land bound giant carcasses to blow up is fine by me. ^_^d

      --
      ---k--
      </stupid>
    39. Re:Love It or Hate It? by jamstar7 · · Score: 1

      Yeah, just as long as you can keep the meat warm. Nothing tastes worse than cold whale blubber.

      --
      Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
    40. Re:Love It or Hate It? by jamstar7 · · Score: 1

      The reason that beef is so expensive in Japan is that they don't have lots of land fit for raising cattle. So even if they create some modified cattle, they still won't be able to profitably raise it.

      Or, it could be a way to develope cows that are aquatic. The ocean's pretty big, and the Japanese love their beef. Figure a way to raise cow herds in an enclosed bay or atoll, you've just freed up that much more land for other uses. Interesting idea...

      --
      Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
    41. Re:Love It or Hate It? by VorpalRodent · · Score: 5, Funny

      Unfortunately, early attempts to mate lasers with sharks have proven unsuccessful. All the sharks either died or were rendered infertile as a result of the acts.

      Attempts to directly fertilize a shark egg with a laser resulted in the immediate destruction of the ovum.

      Perhaps someday science will answer this question, but for today, we must still dream.

      --
      Take it to the limit, everybody to the limit, come on, everybody fhqwhgads.
    42. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Dogtanian · · Score: 1

      Japanese like eating whales. If you read the replies to this suggestion, you'll see that they're having to push people into eating whale meat- which they otherwise don't like- for political reasons.

      It would be a terrific thing for Japan if they could make cows that tasted like whales. Actually, since the Japanese seem to have no problem with beef, it'd make more sense to have whales that tasted like beef.

      Except that this wouldn't happen, since they'd prefer to continue hunting the endangered ones for political... sorry, "scientific" reasons anyway.
      --
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    43. Re:Love It or Hate It? by u8i9o0 · · Score: 1

      Of all the mammals being slaughtered, cows have one of the worst public relations representatives (after rats). Anyway, whales are very well represented so, if you want whale meat, it makes sense to attempt mixing cows and whales (from a marketing perspective).

      This news does not surprise me in the least. Prior to the recent high-profile protests, the last time I discussed this issue was in science and world studies classes in high school and, whenever I had asked teachers about the research, the best answer I could get was that they were checking the diet (with gutting them as the easiest method). They were already gutting them so might as well get the meat too, right?

      I always assumed there was other research being done (how many stomachs do they really need to check?) but I never bothered to investigate for myself. If the purpose is political charade, any research is seen as good research.

      Good that this specific info is finally getting some attention, within its context (as presented in FTA).
      Bad that the summary only focuses on the weird aspect.

      --
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    44. Re:Love It or Hate It? by eldavojohn · · Score: 1

      So you turn to fancy pants science stuff to explain why it's ok to breed cows and whales. Bravo. Well, did you know that pound for pound the wolverine is the most fiercest mammal? And pound for pound the great white shark is the most fiercest animal in the ocean! Not too far apart now, are they!?

      It's not like I'm dusting Matthew Broderick with horse musk to attract Sarah Jessica Parker for some sort of equine sapien hybrid! Talk about a violation of ethics through inter species mating!

      --
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    45. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Hillgiant · · Score: 1

      Look at it the other way:
      Perhaps they were trying to create a more delicious whale.

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      -
    46. Re:Love It or Hate It? by lietkynes65 · · Score: 1

      Really you can't see the use in this? Currently Japan maintains one of the worlds last whaling fleets and is under constant pressure from the international community to stop the practice yet there is clearly a large demand for whale meat in Japan. They were most likely trying to breed cows that tasted like whale or docile whale that they could herd and farm in the ocean. Actually, this is a great idea.

    47. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I think you have it backwards: AFAIK Japanese people prefer eating beef.
      But there isn't a whole lot of Cattle-compatible land in Japan.

      So if you could engineer Whales that tasted more like beef, you could make quite a tidy profit.

    48. Re:Love It or Hate It? by tompaulco · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Of all the animals you had to pick from you went with cows and whales?
      Well, this makes some sense. Scientists believe that whales and cows descended from a common ancestor. Evolution detractors use this as a point to mock scientists, since whale tails move up and down while cow tails move side to side, and cows breathe through their mouth while whales have a blowhole on top of their head. It IS pretty apocryphal that two species could vary so much in only 40 to 50 million years in a species that goes decades between generations.

      --
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    49. Re:Love It or Hate It? by nadaou · · Score: 5, Insightful

      probably what has been lost in translation here is that a female whale is called a "cow". While I haven't RTFA, I expect this has nothing to do with bovines and a lot to do with OMG journalism.

      Having said that Japan must stop whaling; the rest of the world's govenments must step in and stop the insult to "science" this loophole exploits; stop the IWC 3rd world country votes-for-cash bribery; and the rest of the world's people should boycot her until she does. It's complete and udder bullshit that this $1M industry is allowed to continue (yes, that's "1 Million" with an "M", it hardly even covers the fuel costs to get the whaling fleet into the southern ocean whale sanctuary hunting grounds (yes, that's "sanctuary" with an "i" for illegal breach)).

      It's in my cultural heritige to throw rocks at the heads of Englishmen. Well, times change, and we must move on.

      --
      ~.~
      I'm a peripheral visionary.
    50. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Turken · · Score: 1

      Last sumer I had dinner at a "viking" restaurant in Iceland where (minke) whale was on the menu, so I gave it a try. Pretty much like beef, although a little grainier in texture. Or was that the horse steak? I keep confusing the two now.

      The thing I've come to find from vacation dining experience is that meat is pretty much the same round the world. Doesn't matter if its cow, horse, dog, goat, etc. If it's red meat from a mammal, it'll taste pretty close to beef, with maybe some variation in texture or aftertaste. White meat pretty much tastes like chicken no matter what bird or reptile it came from. And most anything that lives in or regularly dines from the water is going to taste fishy.

      If you want a good meal, the thing to remeber is that no matter the animal the quality and cut of the meat are just as important, if not more so, than species it comes from.

    51. Re:Love It or Hate It? by jekewa · · Score: 1

      I had the opposite, but same idea. What if we could get sea-going cows? No, not manatee, but a whale-sized cow, that is made of beef, and isn't land-locked. Perhaps you corral them in lakes or bays, or let them "free range" in the ocean to harvest later. If the "cowhale" were as prolific as their land-based cousins, then we could have an abundance of ocean beef.

      Sure, sure, now you pundits will point out that the thing that makes beef tasty is a diet of grass and corn. And there will be those who will point out that a new species of herbivore in the ocean, especially a prolific one, would have drastic environmental consequences, the least of which will be the decimation of ocean prairies and a new source of manure and methane.

      --
      End the FUD
    52. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Deadfyre_Deadsoul · · Score: 1

      This is all we need, either mad whale disease, or a mad bovine that weighs in @ 5 tons. Wheres the beef? See that cow out there in the field son? Shooting his cud through the blow hole in its neck?

      --
      ~DF
    53. Re:Love It or Hate It? by astro-g · · Score: 1

      that's part of the problem.
      They have only produced 43 papers - its a ridiculously low number, especially give4n the number of whales they've killed in the name of this 'research'

    54. Re:Love It or Hate It? by DeadDecoy · · Score: 1

      Being that it's Japan, I'm surprised one of the animals didn't have tentacles.

    55. Re:Love It or Hate It? by AdamThor · · Score: 1

      Cows and wales? What's next?

      Indeed, it would make much more sense to have a whale / porpoise chimera. We can call it a Whorpois. Then we can have them at sea world, and people could pay $1,000 an hour to swim with them. Then, in the future when politicians get 'Spitzered' they can claim "No, that money went to pay for my visits to sea world. I spent it on a high-priced whorpis." Ahhh, water-sports! Wait, that brings me back to 'Spitzered'...

      --
      -- "Oh. This guy again."
    56. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Darinbob · · Score: 1

      Makes much more sense now, and explains why whales are involved, and they won't bother with sloths and sea sponges. No point in doing research on sloths and sea sponges since neither are commonly eaten in Japan.
    57. Re:Love It or Hate It? by drsmithy · · Score: 1

      The thing I've come to find from vacation dining experience is that meat is pretty much the same round the world. Doesn't matter if its cow, horse, dog, goat, etc. If it's red meat from a mammal, it'll taste pretty close to beef, with maybe some variation in texture or aftertaste. White meat pretty much tastes like chicken no matter what bird or reptile it came from. And most anything that lives in or regularly dines from the water is going to taste fishy.

      Well, not really. The flavour of, say, beef and pork is noticably different (to say nothing of other cuts like bacon). Similarly, with fowl, chicken and duck is different. On the fish side, reef fish tastes noticably different to deep sea fish which is different again to freshwater fish. Not to mention texture is at least as important as flavour and also varies widely between different meats (or even different cuts of the same animal).

      Heck, I care about these things and I'm not even close to a "foodie". A genuine gourmet would probably have just about had a heart attack reading your post ;).

      If you want a good meal, the thing to remeber is that no matter the animal the quality and cut of the meat are just as important, if not more so, than species it comes from.

      This is certainly true, but if I get a hankering for a nice piece of salmon, even the best lamb roast in the world isn't going to satisfy it...

      <TROLL>Now vegies on the other hand, they all taste and feel the same (awful).</TROLL>

    58. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yep, I remember being surprised when I first saw the genetic analysis and whales were next to cows on the tree. Every time I hear of a whale beaching now, I try to see if there is an attractive bull or heifer in a nearby pasture they were trying to get with. ;)

    59. Re:Love It or Hate It? by LurkerXXX · · Score: 3, Funny

      It makes sense to me. I think if you throw a cow in an ocean, there is going to be a LOT of selective pressure to make some changes.

    60. Re:Love It or Hate It? by greyhueofdoubt · · Score: 1

      >>bull wandering into the Ross Sea or Pacific Ocean to jump the bones of a minke whale

      Well, the funny thing about this is that they actually used WHALE sperm to inseminate the COW.

      Paints a different picture now, doesn't it?

      -b

      --
      No offense, but I've stopped responding to AC's.
    61. Re:Love It or Hate It? by MorePower · · Score: 1

      Sure, sure, now you pundits will point out that the thing that makes beef tasty is a diet of grass and corn.

      Obviously, the next step needs to be cross-pollinating grass and corn with seaweed, so the whale cows can free range graze on the ocean prairies.

    62. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Dogtanian · · Score: 1

      Of all the mammals being slaughtered, cows have one of the worst public relations representatives (after rats). Anyway, whales are very well represented I think there's a legimate reason for the double standard when you consider that cows aren't remotely an endangered species- quite the opposite.
      --
      "Slashdot - News and Chat Sites Deviant". (Click "homepage" link above for details).
    63. Re:Love It or Hate It? by pohl · · Score: 1

      Just think of it: 100 tonnes of USDA grade A beef grown in saline tanks!

      --

      The "cue the foo posts in 3, 2, 1..." posts will commence with no subsequent foo posts in 3, 2, 1...

    64. Re:Love It or Hate It? by thomasw_lrd · · Score: 1

      It seems more useful to have cows that can live in the sea, then whales that live on the land. At least from Japans viewpoint. That way they can use their land for people instead of animals.

    65. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Lars512 · · Score: 1

      Half whale... half cow... but tastier than both!

    66. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Actually they taste like "1980's" tuna. I grew up on dolphin meat *cough tuna* and ever since the real, *dolphin safe* tuna came out it doesn't Taste the Same. To think a few kids crying about 'protect the dolphins' could cause tuna fisherman to use looser nets that dolphins (and many tuna) can swim out of instead of giving us what we really wanted, dolphin meat in a can of OIL.

    67. Re:Love It or Hate It? by bickerdyke · · Score: 4, Funny

      Dolphins are just gay sharks!

      --
      bickerdyke
    68. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Red+Flayer · · Score: 1

      No, it's because commercial whaling has extreme limits on quotas, etc -- but whaling for research does not.

      So they harvest the minke whale sperm, and the leftover byproducts they get to sell on the market.

      Whaling for research is just about justification of killing more whales in order to evade the limits placed on commercial whaling by international treaties.

      --
      "Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
    69. Re:Love It or Hate It? by ray-auch · · Score: 1

      > Actually, since the Japanese seem to have no problem with beef, it'd make more sense to have whales that tasted like beef.

      They do have a problem with beef - not enough land to grow it on. Create a beef animal that lives in the ocean and can be harvested 20 tonnes at a time, sounds like a solution.

      > Except that this wouldn't happen, since they'd prefer to continue hunting the endangered ones for political... sorry, "scientific" reasons anyway.

      Maybe, or maybe they'd find it quite amusing to be able to go out and hunt large marine mammals with the IWC not even able to whinge about it, let alone "ban" it, because it's not a whale. The arguments for a "save the sea-cows" campaign would be interesting since most of the world happily kills land-cows (with harpoons, er sorry bolt-guns).

    70. Re:Love It or Hate It? by kylehase · · Score: 1

      While unsuccessful in fertilization, the female sharks did seem to enjoy the experience.

      --
      You want fun, go home and buy a monkey!
    71. Re:Love It or Hate It? by kylehase · · Score: 1

      You may be joking but Whale does taste a lot like fish, albeit a fatty fish with a slightly acidic after taste. Here in Japan it's called Kujira and it's available in many restaurants and sushi bars. The only time I tried it was when a friend ordered it and I was unaware of what were were eating at the time.

      --
      You want fun, go home and buy a monkey!
    72. Re:Love It or Hate It? by Geezle2 · · Score: 1

      Except for Norway, all other nations that "hunt whales" are simply countries that permit aboriginal peoples to hunt whales using traditional methods for the purposes of sustaining primitive tribal cultures. None of them are operating whale processing factory ships. Norway takes about 500 whales a year, and then only minke whales. Japan wanted to take about 1000 whales this year, but thanks to interference by Sea Shepherd, they likely only caught half that many.

    73. Re:Love It or Hate It? by kauttapiste · · Score: 1

      What I'd like to see is a whale that tastes like Kobe beef. Now there's a genuinely good hybrid right there. Although maybe some of the Kobe beef's taste is actually in the price. :-) Haven't tasted it myself though.

    74. Re:Love It or Hate It? by inasity_rules · · Score: 1

      Cool! Then if they flap their overlarge ears, pigs might finally fly and she'll go out with me!

      --
      I have determined that my sig is indeterminate.
    75. Re:Love It or Hate It? by arivanov · · Score: 1

      They do have a problem with beef - not enough land to grow it on. Create a beef animal that lives in the ocean and can be harvested 20 tonnes at a time, sounds like a solution.

      There was one. In its infinite wisdom the humanity killed it. The Steller Sea Cow. Primary food - kelp. Yep, the one that grows all along the California, Alaskan, Russian and Japanese sea coast.

      Anyway, I am not surprised that japanese science papers are useless. Anyone doing anything remotely scientific knows that. Their engineering is phenomenal, but their science is inept at best of times.

      By the way, there is probably enough material in museums to try to clone the Steller Cow once we can do cloning better. Or at least try to clone some of the genes into a lamantine.

      --
      Baker's Law: Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it
      http://www.sigsegv.cx/
    76. Re:Love It or Hate It? by owlstead · · Score: 1

      Evolution does not happen to individuals. Throw in a herd at a time.

    77. Re:Love It or Hate It? by mrogers · · Score: 1

      Aha! So it's not just the Ploxmire awards, it's a review of the specious "research" the whalers conduct in order to continue hunting whales.

      You mean they're planning to cross-breed whales with cows so they can continue hunting them on land? Chasing them across the rolling hills of Kyushu in wheeled whaling boats, sending the Laser Tank Division to keep them from attacking Tokyo after they accidentally get irradiated, harpooning them on the slopes of Mount Fuji as they moo forlornly through their blowholes... this is the kind of research we need more of!

    78. Re:Love It or Hate It? by zombie_striptease · · Score: 1
      This is why it's very important to RTFA once in a blue moon:

      "[The research involves] really bizarre and strange experiments with sheep and pigs and eggs," he said. "It's totally esoteric; very strange indeed."
      Considering that they tried to breed them with other land-lubbing livestock, I think it's safe to assume the "cows" mentioned in the summmary are the mooing kind.
    79. Re:Love It or Hate It? by AgentSmith · · Score: 1

      I think they're working on Onion Bunnies, so crunchy and ... bonion-y ... bonnioyum ... !

      These will of course make living sandwiches if you put an onion bunny on the back of a giant cow, perked up with some crisp tortoise pickles, sliced tomato zebra, and giant iceberg lettuce butterflies.


      OK. Bizarre as this sounds. This statement is the king of funny. "Bonion-y" Priceless.
      Mods, this is the first time in 3 years I've laughed at a /. comment.
      There are many others, but this one is funny.

      Actually, this whole set of comments has at least brought a smile to my face.

      300 pound burgers.

      The lowing mooo of giant whalecows on Mt. Fuji.

      The harpooning of great whalecow herds by the land whalers in their wheeled whaling boats.

    80. Re:Love It or Hate It? by aproposofwhat · · Score: 1
      Actually, it's more likely to be research aimed at supplying the buoyant Japanese whale meat market with product without having to hunt whales in the wild - being able to produce whales in a farmed environment would likely piss Greenpeace off slightly less than harpooning the creatures in the Antarctic in defiance of the majority of the civilised world.

      --
      One swallow does not a fellatrix make
    81. Re:Love It or Hate It? by greginnj · · Score: 1

      You mean they're planning to cross-breed whales with cows so they can continue hunting them on land? Chasing them across the rolling hills of Kyushu in wheeled whaling boats, sending the Laser Tank Division to keep them from attacking Tokyo after they accidentally get irradiated, harpooning them on the slopes of Mount Fuji as they moo forlornly through their blowholes...
      I would seriously buy this game ... can you code? Partners?
      --
      Read the best of all of Slash: seenonslash.com
    82. Re:Love It or Hate It? by mrogers · · Score: 1

      It can only be a matter of time before Nintendo comes up with the same idea. Super Mario Whale!

    83. Re:Love It or Hate It? by randyest · · Score: 1

      No, it's because commercial whaling has extreme limits on quotas, etc -- but whaling for research does not.
      Yes it does. In fact, whaling for research has lower quotas than for commercial/consumption purposes. Why would you just make up a statement to the contrary?
      --
      everything in moderation
    84. Re:Love It or Hate It? by randyest · · Score: 1

      Except those replies were pulled out of someones ass with nothing to back them up. In fact, this whole "Japanese like whale", "No! Japanese prefer beef" is bullshit. Japanese people aren't that homogeneous and selective -- most of the many I know like both whale and beef! Some may prefer one or the other, and that preference may change with time or situation, but it's ludicrous to suggest that Japanese universally, or even in majority, prefer one or the other.

      American's only eat hamburger! No! They like chicken wings only!

      --
      everything in moderation
    85. Re:Love It or Hate It? by randyest · · Score: 1

      Why "must" it stop? Why are whales any more important than pigs or cows or chickens? As long as they don't mess with endangered species, which they don't, I don't see the problem. With your attitude they (PETA?) will be coming for your burger and wings soon.

      --
      everything in moderation
    86. Re:Love It or Hate It? by LrdDimwit · · Score: 2, Insightful

      We ARE talking about Japan, here ... Pray it does not involve a squid.

    87. Re:Love It or Hate It? by jeephistorian · · Score: 1

      Could be.... if you add fish to the name!

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolphinfish

      --
      Huh?
    88. Re:Love It or Hate It? by u8i9o0 · · Score: 1
      I think I'm being misquoted.

      Of all the mammals being slaughtered, cows have one of the worst public relations representatives (after rats). Anyway, whales are very well represented
      I think there's a legimate reason for the double standard when you consider that cows aren't remotely an endangered species- quite the opposite.
      You omitted the remainder of the second sentence. Specifically, how it ends with:

      (from a marketing perspective).


      Although the endangered aspect is important in the case overall, I was exploring a potential rational behind the 'research'.

      By the way, you did quote me as saying that rats have the worst public relations representatives. So, where's the outrage for the endangered rats? Saving rats is just not front-page material. They have a bad image, while whales do not.

      --
      This is not my sig
    89. Re:Love It or Hate It? by nadaou · · Score: 1

      > Why "must" it stop? Why are whales any more important than pigs or
      > cows or chickens?

      killing wild stock has effects on the greater ecosystem. killing farm stock does not, in a primary sense. Plus with farm stock you've taken action to replace the portion of the population that you slaughter.

      > As long as they don't mess with endangered species, which they
      > don't, I don't see the problem.

      This year they planned on taking Humpbacks, which are still recovering from being critically endangered. They backed off after pressure from the US and Australian govenments.

      This year they have said that they will take 50 fin whales, of an estimated 5000 in the southern ocean. That's 1% of the population THIS YEAR, or in human terms, all of the USA and Europe THIS YEAR.

      The minkes are not endangered, but they are cuter than cows or pigs, and arguably chickens.

      > With your attitude they (PETA?) will be coming for your burger and
      > wings soon.

      fallacies of logic: Slippery slope + Non sequitur
      http://users.tpg.com.au/users/tps-seti/baloney.html

      > everything in moderation

      I love animals too, they're delicious.

      --
      ~.~
      I'm a peripheral visionary.
  2. Where's the beef? by binaryspiral · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Wow, imagine the size of a T-bone from a whale sized cow...

    1. Re:Where's the beef? by mh1997 · · Score: 1

      Wow, imagine the size of a T-bone from a whale sized cow...
      It would be very small because a cow with no legs but a huge tail would starve on land, and without the blow hole would drown at sea - but it would be the perfect combination for veal.
    2. Re:Where's the beef? by DaveV1.0 · · Score: 3, Funny

      It would be very small because a cow with no legs but a huge tail would starve on land

      Nonsense. That is why there are people. To make and feed cows with no legs and a huge tail.

      --
      There is no "-1 offended" or "-1 you don't agree with me" mod options for a reason.
    3. Re:Where's the beef? by wsanders · · Score: 1

      I don't fancy chewing through 6 inches of blubber to ge to the good part.

      Or hearing underwater "moo"'s when I scuba dive.

      --
      Give a man a fish and you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish, and he'll say "WHERE'S MY FISH, YOU IDIOT?"
    4. Re:Where's the beef? by GeneralPayne · · Score: 0

      Aww come on, where's the "GROUND BEEF" jokes at when you need them.

    5. Re:Where's the beef? by Crazyswedishguy · · Score: 1

      Forklifts work great apparently.

      --
      This space up for sale.
    6. Re:Where's the beef? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It would be very small because a cow with no legs but a huge tail would starve on land

      Cows and cattle in general are discouraged as much as possible from moving. Farmers want all the food energy to go into milk or meat, not to be burned with movement. This is a drastic change from just a decade or so ago. I've been in a small factory farm. The people running it hated doing it that way, but it's that or give up farming.

    7. Re:Where's the beef? by Gadgetfreak · · Score: 1

      You know, back in college, one drunken conversation ended up with us discussing the breeding of some boneless slug-cow. Basically, a large beefy cow-spotted meat tube with nothing but cartilage for structure. Grow them on trolleys, cart them around, feed 'em, and when they get big enough, it's processing time.

      Yeah, it was dumb, but it was amusing at the time. This story reminded me of it.

      --
      "No fair, you changed the outcome by measuring it!" - Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
    8. Re:Where's the beef? by calebt3 · · Score: 1

      Hmmm... Remove the genetic coding for nervous systems and such, animal rights activists wouldn't have anything resembling a valid protest regarding cruelty.

    9. Re:Where's the beef? by zogger · · Score: 1

      Confinement adds weight *faster*, but just makes a lot fattier beef. It makes them money faster, but no way is it "better". Some people like that half-fat beef but I think that whole "marbling" stuff is mostly consumer fraud, because that is the sort of meat you get from the feedlots so they have pushed it for generations now with "beef council" propaganda advertising. OMG you need all that fat mixed in to make it tender and delicious! Well, BS (appropriate) to that!

          And a lot of folks really have never even tasted a real alternative. Letting them walk around normally and munch grass mostly instead of confined feedlots and eating corn actually makes superior beef (check prices between the two for more proof), I have a freezer full of it now (from our herd), very little fat, but still very tender and tasty and a lot more useful protein pound for pound over the fatty supermarket beef.

        Ya, you want them unstressed all the time, but normal walking around and grazing is in no way stressful, they *like* to do that. It's their nature to go out, graze a little, lay around, go to the creek and drink, the little calves run around and play, etc. Normal cow stuff isn't stressful to them, being confined in shitlots *is*. You can see the same thing with eggs, we have a small flock that get full daytime pasture access, where they can go around and scratch and eat bugs and seeds and whatever cluckers eat and do, they love it, you can tell, the difference in our eggs and store bought battery farmed eggs is amazing, no comparison, richer golden yolk color, the whites stand up firmer, etc. Same with the stuff from our garden, I'd put up my squash or tomatoes or cabbage, etc against any supermarket trucked in "factory food" stuff.

      And quite frankly, large scale "ship food thousands of miles" action is going to have to slow down soon, that was last century's "food factory" model with oil at ten bucks a barrel. ain't that way now, they are losing that economic advantage that allowed that to happen, meaning local grown can now "compete" even at low grocery budgets. Local grown, fresher stuff from farmers who actually care about producing quality food is where it is at now if you care about what you eat and have intact tastebuds.

          I really don't care what the big industry experts say (because mostly they suck) food isn't manufactured, it is nurtured and grown. You got to remember, these big agcos are kissin cuzzins to the same big economic "experts" who are bringing you the current economic meltdown courtesy of the bogus paper financial alleged "products" industry (repackaged and rebranded glorified IOUs based on MAFIAA accounting standards) disaster, the same sort of mindset. It's stupid and failing right now. It's still big, granted, but it's big and *dumb*.

      Same old engineering deal, it's never changed, good, fast or cheap, *pick two*.

  3. As Paris Hilton would say... by Izabael_DaJinn · · Score: 4, Funny
    "The scientific research included injecting minke whale sperm into cows eggs, and attempts to produce test-tube whale babies.'"

    That's hot!

    --
    Careful What You Wish For....
  4. (clerks) by everphilski · · Score: 2, Funny

    Whales with teets that put mine to shame

    1. Re:(clerks) by The+Fun+Guy · · Score: 3, Funny

      Mom?

      --
      The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. - Mark Twain
    2. Re:(clerks) by everphilski · · Score: 1

      I'm not even supposed to BE here today!

  5. Isn't this how Cloverfield started? by xmuskrat · · Score: 5, Funny

    It looked like a cow whale to me.

    --
    activestudios web design
    1. Re:Isn't this how Cloverfield started? by Svet-Am · · Score: 1

      my initial reaction EXACTLY.

      --
      [move .sig! for great justice, take off every .sig!]
    2. Re:Isn't this how Cloverfield started? by starglider29a · · Score: 3, Funny

      My first thought was "Cow Pie!!!"
      My second is having them stationed in Lake Michigan off Wisconsin, to supply the Wisconsin Whale Cheese industry
      My third is a bunch of divers having to get up for the 4am milking!

  6. They got that right by A+nonymous+Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    TFA says Australia is going to try to end the "scientific research" loophole. These idiotic "experiments" smell of bureaucrats hiring incompetent and/or lazy "scientists" to do useless thumb twiddling just so they can say they need to keep killing whales.

    Whether or not there should be a ban on killing whales is another matter altogether. Wasting time and resources in this manner to circumvent public opinion is another. I'd be pretty pissed if I were a Japanese consumer / taxpayer (depending on who pays for these useless "experiments").

    1. Re:They got that right by esocid · · Score: 1

      From news that I have read from Japan, most people find eating whale meat outdated and are against whaling. I'm not sure who is paying for it all, but those "scientific" companies make tons of money. The least they could do would be to stop doing whaling under the guise of scientific research and completely ignore the moratorium like norway and iceland do. I hate to say it but I have more respect for the latter countries than japan for actually acknowledging that they are doing something illegal rather than reeking of bullshit.

      *Sorry, whalecow-bullshit.

      --
      Absolute power corrupts absolutely. indymedia
    2. Re:They got that right by Fluffy+Bunnies · · Score: 1

      IIRC, the Japanese fleet captures around 500 whales a year (or something around that order of magnitude). Even if "most people" don't want to eat it, there is still enough demand to sell the stuff at a small premium.

    3. Re:They got that right by A+nonymous+Coward · · Score: 1

      There was an article a few months back about whale meat going on sale because people weren't buying it. No, I have no references. The gist of the article was that the whale catchers were not doing it because of demand, but because to stop would be to lose face after all their years of claiming whale meat as a popular Japanese tradition.

    4. Re:They got that right by Fluffy+Bunnies · · Score: 1

      Sure, but whale meat on sale is still more expensive than, say, beef (or rather, a whale dish at a restaurant is going to be more expensive than a beef dish. I haven't a clue what the stuff would cost in a store). The thing is, when whale meat was really popular (=as in, eaten a lot) it was because it was cheaper than any other meat. People in their fifties probably ate whale to the point of nausea when they were in school. Some of them will keep buying it every now and then for as long as they live, because that's what they've always eaten. Though I doubt whale will ever make comeback as a part of the regular diet of the average Japanese: people currently in school (usually) never got into habit of eating whale and might have similar attitudes towards it as the average American.

  7. man o' tee by gEvil+(beta) · · Score: 3, Funny

    Silly Japanese. Don't they know we already have sea cows?

    --
    This guy's the limit!
    1. Re:man o' tee by corychristison · · Score: 1

      Perhaps they were testing to see if that is how manatee's came to be...
      Either that or God did it. ;-)
      /sarcasm

    2. Re:man o' tee by ArcherB · · Score: 2, Funny

      Silly Japanese. Don't they know we already have sea cows? Maybe they want their own version of Family Guy.

      --
      There is no "I disagree" mod for a reason. Flamebait, Troll, and Overrated are not substitutes.
    3. Re:man o' tee by kaizokuace · · Score: 1

      Yes there are sea cows but are there any land whales?

      --
      Balderdash!
  8. Is there another reason for this? by Hojima · · Score: 1, Insightful

    Meat wouldn't be that great of an incentive considering that we can directly clone meat so that we don't need to raise any animals and there would be a greater energy efficiency for the production of meat. I don't see milk being a problem either, as a similar solution could be developed with greater ease and less time.

    1. Re:Is there another reason for this? by jamstar7 · · Score: 1

      Meat wouldn't be that great of an incentive considering that we can directly clone meat so that we don't need to raise any animals and there would be a greater energy efficiency for the production of meat.

      Sorry, been out of the loop for a couple decades. Got a cite handy perchance?

      --
      Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
    2. Re:Is there another reason for this? by Crazyswedishguy · · Score: 1

      I'm curious too... What is this cloned meat you speak of?

      --
      This space up for sale.
    3. Re:Is there another reason for this? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I think it's called SPAM.

  9. It sounds funny now, but... by Subm · · Score: 2, Funny

    It sounds funny now, but wait until the giant flying lizard starts fighting the giant flying turtle. By that point, not even the giant robot with the missiles shooting from its fingers can save Tokyo.

  10. kill me.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    kill meeee... er.. moo moooo... er.. BEOoooouUUNnnnggg

  11. Pff. by FlyingSquidStudios · · Score: 5, Funny

    God, schmod. I want my whalecow.

    1. Re:Pff. by MightyYar · · Score: 1

      Suit yourself...

      (not my work, by the way - actually the first result on Google, but hilariously bad)

      --
      W..w..W - Willy Waterloo washes Warren Wiggins who is washing Waldo Woo.
    2. Re:Pff. by Eth1csGrad1ent · · Score: 1

      I was thinking the same thing! I don't know what the GP has against cowhales... maybe he's a bigot ? To the GP: whalecow... I mean cmon... thats just insulting...what did cowhales ever do to you ??

  12. Your mama by Jozxyqk · · Score: 1

    So that's how your mama got so fat!

  13. DASTARDLY JAPANESE!! by explosivejared · · Score: 3, Funny

    Can't you see the obvious advantages of having a large cow-whale reserve. The Japanese wanted to produce an army of cow-whales that would have a superhuman... er... supercow ability to produce milk. With an inflated milk reserve, they could crash the US market... a veritable economic Pearl Harbor. THANK GOD THE INTELLIGENCE DIDN'T FAIL THIS TIME!!

    --
    I got a catholic block.
    1. Re:DASTARDLY JAPANESE!! by corychristison · · Score: 1

      I have a feeling you have watched way too much Discovery Channel and Beverly Hills Ninja.

    2. Re:DASTARDLY JAPANESE!! by genericpoweruser · · Score: 2, Funny

      The Debian team has already come up with a solution to that threat. Apt has super cow powers! Zing!

      --
      A fool and his lamb are worth two in the bush.
    3. Re:DASTARDLY JAPANESE!! by calebt3 · · Score: 1

      Can't you see the obvious advantages of having a large cow-whale reserve. Japan is obviously going with the Dreadnoughtapproach in contrast to the PT Boat strategy, just with cowhales and sharks w/freakin' lasers.
  14. female whales = cows by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

    i hope the article's author realized that female whales are called cows...

    1. Re:female whales = cows by JustOK · · Score: 3, Funny

      but rarely to their face

      --
      rewriting history since 2109
  15. Half bear Half pig by Grokmoo · · Score: 5, Funny

    I am ok with them pursuing this line of research, as long as they don't try something truly dangerous, like a half bear, half pig. Or worse, a half man, half bear, half pig. Now that would be trouble.

    1. Re:Half bear Half pig by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 1

      Or worse, a half man, half bear, half pig. Now that would be trouble. Yeah. Considering that would be wayyyyy too many halves.

    2. Re:Half bear Half pig by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yeah. Considering that would be wayyyyy too many halves.

      *WOOSH*

      Google "Man Bear Pig", it's a South Park thing.

    3. Re:Half bear Half pig by Deltaspectre · · Score: 1

      But I'm thuper therial, guys!

      --
      My UID is prime... is yours?
    4. Re:Half bear Half pig by Dogtanian · · Score: 0, Flamebait

      *WOOSH* Google "Man Bear Pig", it's a South Park thing. So he didn't spot a tedious pop-culture reference from South Park. Big fucking deal.

      Not everyone on Slashdot gives a toss about- let alone watches and has an in-depth knowledge of- that vastly overrated show, and nor is the latter a universal indicator of geekism, despite what the its tedious anal-retentive fanboys might like to think.
      --
      "Slashdot - News and Chat Sites Deviant". (Click "homepage" link above for details).
    5. Re:Half bear Half pig by zmollusc · · Score: 1

      What are you blithering about? There is no scientific merit to these experiments at all, it is just all a waste of time and money that could be better spent on something that would actually benefit humankind, such as a five-assed monkey.

      --
      They whose government reduces their essential liberties for temporary security, receive neither liberty nor security.
    6. Re:Half bear Half pig by watzinaneihm · · Score: 1

      Or worse, a half man, half bear, half pig.
      Indeed! The first one-and-a-half person to be born would challenge the foundations of arithmetic.
      --
      .ACMD setaloiv siht gnidaeR
    7. Re:Half bear Half pig by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You must be new here

    8. Re:Half bear Half pig by calebt3 · · Score: 1

      WHOOSH!
      This might come in handy. Search for 'manbearpig'.

    9. Re:Half bear Half pig by powerlinekid · · Score: 1

      WHOOSH. The 5 assed monkey was from the same show...

      --

      can't sleep slashdot will eat me
    10. Re:Half bear Half pig by ThePengwin · · Score: 1

      Thats 150% animal you have there sonny :D

  16. This sounds like a twisted subplot to an anime... by AmazingRuss · · Score: 1

    ...movie.

    Seriously. YUCK! What gets IN to these people?

  17. Pasteurised sperm by Timesprout · · Score: 1

    with your tea sir?

    --
    Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth
    What truth?
    There is no dupe
  18. related research by circletimessquare · · Score: 4, Funny

    -quantifying the mouthfeel of whale flesh on a scale of carnivorous appeal
    -how to use less fossil fuels in the preparation of whale meat to abide by the kyoto protocol
    -classifying whale meat's umami taste factor
    -topological descriptions of various folding models in the preparation of whale meat sushi

    most of the scientific papers associated with this vastly important field of scientific research have concluded some amazing scientific findings, samples of the papers' conclusions:

    "om nom nom nom nom nom..."

    "BURP"

    "pass the sapporo, onegai shimasu"

    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
  19. The summary should probably mention by TimeZone · · Score: 4, Interesting
    that these experiments were solely intended to allow Japan to continue it's whaling operations (under the guise of said "research") and that everyone involved probably knew the experiments were ridiculous and a scam.
    So it's not like this is some mad scientist thing or anything. Just business. As usual.

    TZ

    1. Re:The summary should probably mention by DavidD_CA · · Score: 1

      What we really need are whalecows...

      ... with frikkin LASER BEAMS on their heads! MOOOOO! *ZAP*

      It's the only chance we have against the army of evil sharks, if you ask me.

      --
      -David
    2. Re:The summary should probably mention by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Don't you mean sharkbuffaloes?

  20. thank you internet by rev_sanchez · · Score: 1

    That's the least terrible thing (short of not killing a whale and taking it's sperm) that I can imagine the Japanese doing with whale semen. Thanks internet.

    --
    If you didn't come to party don't bother knocking on my door. Prince '1999'
    1. Re:thank you internet by icebrain · · Score: 1

      You realize that the "sperm" from a sperm whale (in the "let's kill the whales and take their sperm!" idea) isn't actually sperm, right? "Spermaceti" is the sorta waxy stuff in the whale's head that helps with buoyancy control and echolocation. It was often used for making perfume a long time ago.

      Of course, that whooshing sound I just heard was probably a joke going right over my head...

      --
      The meek may inherit the earth, but the strong shall take the stars.
    2. Re:thank you internet by rev_sanchez · · Score: 1

      I'd heard about that with regard to how sperm whales got their name but I thought the Japanese made the distinction between the various kinds of whale goo when trying to knock up a cow. I also figured that they killed those whales since it seemed unlikely that they swam out there an jerked the whales off. It would have been nice of them though.

      --
      If you didn't come to party don't bother knocking on my door. Prince '1999'
    3. Re:thank you internet by The+End+Of+Days · · Score: 1

      Considering some of the Japanese porn I've watched, that really doesn't seem too far out there. Plus they could sell videos of the extraction operation to subsidize the research costs.

  21. Japan's research on Whales is like my research on by MrSteveSD · · Score: 3, Funny

    M&Ms

  22. Success rate? by ecavalli · · Score: 1

    This being /. I obviously didn't RTFA, but does anyone know how successful these experiments were?

    I haven't seen any extremely oversized cows lusting after plankton recently, so I have to imagine the scientists in question didn't actually create the terrifying cow/whale chimeras that we're all imagining, right?

  23. Re:This sounds like a twisted subplot to an anime. by Surt · · Score: 5, Funny

    Seriously. YUCK! What gets IN to these people?


    I'm thinking it's the whale sperm.

    --
    "Who is the Journal of Quantum Physics going to believe?" --Stephen Hawking
  24. why cows and whales by sdedeo · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Actually, if you were going to pick some creature to go with whales, it would be the hippopotamus. In the evolutionary chain that you can establish with DNA, whales got back into the water rather late. But as someone noted below, this article is about papers that come out of "scientific" whaling -- which is really just a cover for the Japanese to hunt the endangered species for cash. So I guess they went with cows, because they are pretty cheap and it's probably easier to do whatever phony-science you want (e.g., because of agriculture, getting your cow DNA sequenced is probably somthing you can just mail in.)

    Beware! My knowledge of evolution and cetaceans comes only from Richard Dawkins books which I last read like three years ago (I highly recommend The Ancestor's Tale, if you've already read the classics like Selfish Gene and Extended Phenotype.)

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    1. Re:why cows and whales by PacoCheezdom · · Score: 0, Flamebait

      Actually, if you were going to pick some creature to go with whales, it would be the Jonah. In the historical chain that you can establish with the Old Testament, Jonahs got into the whales for three days. But as someone noted below, this article is about papers that come out of "religious" whaling -- which is really just a cover for the Japanese to hunt the endangered species for cash. So I guess they went with cows, because they are pretty cheap and it's probably easier to do whatever phony-religion you want (e.g., because of televangelists, getting your cow blessed is probably somthing you can just mail in.) Beware! My knowledge of creationism and minor prophets comes only from Pat Robertson books which I last read like three years ago (I highly recommend The New World Order, if you've already read the classics like The Secret Kingdom,and Answers to 100 of Life's Most Probing Questions.) This message brought to you by the Kansas Board of Education.

    2. Re:why cows and whales by mcmonkey · · Score: 1

      Actually, if you were going to pick some creature to go with whales, it would be the hippopotamus.

      Yeah, but then it wouldn't be kosher.

    3. Re:why cows and whales by sdedeo · · Score: 1

      You just made my day.

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      Protect your liberties. Donate to the ACLU
    4. Re:why cows and whales by randyest · · Score: 1

      just cover for the Japanese to hunt the endangered species for cash
      The species of whales that the Japanese hunt, for food or research, are not endangered.

      And who pays all this "cash?" If Nobody EATS IT! then who is paying for this "lucrative" operation to harvest (actually non-endangered) whales?
      --
      everything in moderation
  25. Some day... by nacturation · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Some day, the International Whaling Committee which discusses hunting and killing of whales will be about as ethically acceptable as an International Slavery Committee that discusses acceptable ways to enslave people.

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    1. Re:Some day... by LighterShadeOfBlack · · Score: 1

      We can only hope. I need someone to plough my fields.

      Oh, you meant that the other way. ...Awkard...

      --
      Spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, and stupid comments are intentional.
    2. Re:Some day... by ducklord · · Score: 1

      At last... That brings us one more step closer to Disney's Farcry ride... "Please don't feed the hybrids" (-"Ah! AAaAahhHh! He ate my arm!")

    3. Re:Some day... by Abcd1234 · · Score: 1

      I assume you have a similar objection to the USDA?

    4. Re:Some day... by Tycho · · Score: 1

      You're too late, there have already been discussions written on acceptable methods for enslavement and re-conditioning methods.

      http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/TPE/tpe_vs_d_s.htm
      (Don't visit this site at work. Some people (including myself) may find the page and the site a bit disturbing and also a bit too detailed. However, the page is not graphic, the rest of the site almost certainly has graphic descriptions though, but no pictures.)

      --
      Impersonating Tycho from Penny Arcade since before there was a PA.
    5. Re:Some day... by sapphire+wyvern · · Score: 1

      Nice synergy between your username and post, there... O_o

    6. Re:Some day... by nacturation · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I assume you have a similar objection to the USDA? I get your point, but I suppose I just have a soft spot for whales so you'll excuse me if I don't take an all-or-nothing approach.
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    7. Re:Some day... by Abcd1234 · · Score: 1

      Translation: discussing how to kill animals humanely is okay, unless they're cute, in which case it's tantamount to slavery.

    8. Re:Some day... by nacturation · · Score: 1

      No, but thanks for trying.

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  26. Whales & cows are fine by me... by LighterShadeOfBlack · · Score: 0, Redundant

    Just please God, tell me they didn't try to fertilise a laser with shark sperm.

    --
    Spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, and stupid comments are intentional.
  27. Japan's response... by AutopsyReport · · Score: 4, Funny

    Don't have a cow, man!

    --

    For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    1. Re:Japan's response... by nebaz · · Score: 1

      Ushi ga nakute hou ga ii desu ne.

      --
      Rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold behind the clouds.There upon the rainbow is the answer to a neverending story
    2. Re:Japan's response... by VoltageX · · Score: 1

      But they're having a whale of a time!

      --
      "Anonymous could not immediately be reached for further comment." - International Business Times
  28. Think of the farmers by JustOK · · Score: 1

    Won't the farmers drown when they try to milk them?

    --
    rewriting history since 2109
  29. this could never work... by bigdaddyhame · · Score: 1

    there's no way in hell this would ever get funding. whalecow-tipping would be almost impossible.

    --
    ---- You are fully entitled to my opinion.
  30. Different Orders by Stargoat · · Score: 0, Redundant

    WTF? A cow is order Artiodactyla, and a whale is order Cetacea. Their DNA would be miles apart. The only thing they have in common is that they are mammals. How did anyone ever think this could work? And a biologist at that? Again I say, WTF?

    --
    Hoist Number One and Number Six.
    1. Re:Different Orders by DaveV1.0 · · Score: 1

      If I recall correctly, classification is done more by appearance and behavior than by genetic testing.

      --
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    2. Re:Different Orders by Culture20 · · Score: 1

      They'd have experiments testing whale sperm with lightbulbs if it meant they could hunt more whales (you don't think they get the sperm by asking politely, do you?).

    3. Re:Different Orders by Stargoat · · Score: 1

      It used to be the case. They've been doing quite a lot more with genetic testing in recent years. For example, the Mephitidaes (skunks) used to be grouped in with Mustelidae (weasels and otters), but DNA evidence caused the family to be moved out. The Panda is now Ursa, when it used to be Procyonidae, though I'm not sure that was based on DNA.

      --
      Hoist Number One and Number Six.
    4. Re:Different Orders by compro01 · · Score: 1

      several people higher up the conversation have stated that they're closer than most would think.

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    5. Re:Different Orders by DaveV1.0 · · Score: 1

      That may be true, but I don't think that has happened with whales or cows. I haven't heard of it, and as someone else has pointed out, they are apparently descended from a common ancestor.

      --
      There is no "-1 offended" or "-1 you don't agree with me" mod options for a reason.
    6. Re:Different Orders by saforrest · · Score: 1

      WTF? A cow is order Artiodactyla, and a whale is order Cetacea. Their DNA would be miles apart. The only thing they have in common is that they are mammals. How did anyone ever think this could work? And a biologist at that? Again I say, WTF?

      Not that it's not crazy -- it is -- but genetics has shown that http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/434566.stm'>cows and whales are more related that was previously realized. Hippos have always been classified as artiodactyls, but comparison of DNA has suggested that hippo's closest relatives are actually whales, i.e. that whales form a subclade inside what was previously called Artiodactyla. The new name Cetartiodactyla, combining Artiodactyla and Cetacea, has been proposed.

      The morphological distinctness between whales and artiodactyls is pinned on the very different selection pressures of a marine environment.

      In any case, your point stands: whether or not they're different orders, they're different families. It would be like crossing us with lemurs or baboons.

    7. Re:Different Orders by saforrest · · Score: 1

      [Drat, mangled the URL in my last post. Here's the correctly-formatted version.]

      WTF? A cow is order Artiodactyla, and a whale is order Cetacea. Their DNA would be miles apart. The only thing they have in common is that they are mammals. How did anyone ever think this could work? And a biologist at that? Again I say, WTF?

      Not that it's not crazy—it is—but genetics has shown that cows and whales are more related that was previously realized. Hippos have always been classified as artiodactyls, but comparison of DNA has suggested that hippo's closest relatives are actually whales, i.e. that whales form a subclade inside what was previously called Artiodactyla. The new name Cetartiodactyla, combining Artiodactyla and Cetacea, has been proposed.

      The morphological distinctness between whales and artiodactyls is pinned on the very different selection pressures of a marine environment.

      In any case, your point stands: whether or not they're different orders, they're different families. It would be like crossing us with lemurs or baboons.

  31. No need to be torn -- it's actual BS by Nicolas+MONNET · · Score: 1

    Japan uses the "research" exception to keep on hunting whales despite the whaling ban they're supposed, by treaty, to obey. The "researchers" aren't trying to make whale-cow hybrids, they're just bullshitting to fulfill a legal requirement. They could just as well try out whether whale sperm cures cancer, or see if agitating whale baleens in one's butt result in time travel. "Nope, doesn't work, but we tried! So now let's hunt s'more whales."

  32. only a week late by Dillenger69 · · Score: 1

    wow, Slashdot is waaay behind the curve lately.
    This story has been discussed o death over the last week elsewhere.

    --
    09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
  33. Hardly unique by Quiet_Desperation · · Score: 3, Funny

    Japan has been at the forefront of cat/girl technology for *tears*.

    1. Re:Hardly unique by Quiet_Desperation · · Score: 3, Informative

      Dammit!

    2. Re:Hardly unique by DaveV1.0 · · Score: 1

      HA HA! /nelson

      --
      There is no "-1 offended" or "-1 you don't agree with me" mod options for a reason.
    3. Re:Hardly unique by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hey, don't cry over spilled... that's not milk... DAMN YOU JAPAN!

  34. Thank Effing God I Have Lived To See These Days by BigBlueOx · · Score: 2, Funny

    At long, long last we have whale-cows. And Hallmark greeting card stereos. And pigs that glow under UV light. And iPhones.

  35. Re:This sounds like a twisted subplot to an anime. by popeye44 · · Score: 2, Informative

    Well according to that one vid I seen it was eels up the wazoo.. but then again they put all sorts of things IN ..

    --
    Inane Comments are Generously Disregarded
  36. Gyuuojira! by markok13 · · Score: 1

    Sorry, couldn't help it.

  37. Tell Japan... by TheBlunderbuss · · Score: 1

    ...it's called a "seacow."

    1. Re:Tell Japan... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It certainly explains Rosie O'Donnell

  38. Anime? by Gat0r30y · · Score: 1

    Ok, how long til a whale cow shows up in some tenticle porn in Japan? My estimate, 5 hours.

    --
    Prediction: The real iPhone killer is going to be sex robots from Japan. Think about it.
  39. I don't know... by TooMad · · Score: 0

    But it sounds like a bunch of bull if you ask me.

  40. Wake me up by plexium_nerd · · Score: 1

    Wake me up when they crossbreed sharks with frick'n lasers..

    --
    ____ plex
  41. Unit 731 flashbacks? by GlobalColding · · Score: 1

    Japanese have a long standing history of conducting nasty experiments. Unit 731 anyone? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unit_731

  42. Parthenogensis? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I mean, I understand the basics -- they're trying to breed your mom and your sister -- but I dunno. They'd still need to do a lot of work to produce a viable embryo, and to what end?

  43. Chicken of the Sea by droopycom · · Score: 1

    I think it might be simpler to start smaller. For example: tuna and chicken, dont you think?

    1. Re:Chicken of the Sea by yidele · · Score: 1

      ...with frickin' lasers.

  44. Re:female whales = cows Clones, not Hybrids by Culture20 · · Score: 2, Informative

    Mod Parent up. This seems much less weird when you think of it in these terms. They're just doing "normal" test-tube babies. Not with Bovine, but with whale+whale.

  45. Maybe they succeeded ... by cpricejones · · Score: 1

    it would explain my college roommate ...

  46. Small problem by SmallFurryCreature · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Nobody EATS IT! The whole things has become a matter of pride, they japanese can't shift the meat without subsidies. It just ain't popular. Now beef. Good beef? That will cost you a fortune.

    The reason whale meat was on the diet (when it hasn't been for ages in the rest of the world) was because post-WW2 japan had a food shortage and whale meat was easily available. For all kinds of reasons Japan just ain't a beef country. But that doesn't mean the meat was popular. Before commercial whaling was banned the consumption was already plumetting.

    Japanese politics are EXTREMELY controlled by special intrest groups. Far more so then even the US. Would New York keep valuable land for growing grain just a few miles outside the city center? Hell no. Drive out of tokyo were land-prices are insane and you will land right smack in the rice paddies, rice that is so expensive to grow in Japan it makes no economical sense.

    The entire whaling debate is just a product of old elite japanese wanting to say NO to the world. No normal japanese person wants to eat it. It is like those people who claim they hunt seals for historic reasons while wearing synthetic clothing and dining on pizza.

    --

    MMO Quests are like orgasms:

    You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.

    1. Re:Small problem by Stoutlimb · · Score: 1

      Yea but they still eat seal flipper pie. And just about every other part of the seal. There's no accounting for taste.

    2. Re:Small problem by grassy_knoll · · Score: 4, Informative
      Ahem.

      Nobody EATS IT!


      I did when I lived in Japan.

      Some was for sale at my local supermarket. As sashimi it wasn't very good, but boiled it tasted rather like very tender beef ( with an odd rainbow hue from the fats ). Delicious. My neighbors liked it as well.

      While it may not be a staple food, and perhaps the reason for the continued whale hunting is mostly cultural, people in Japan do ( or at least did ) eat whale meat.
    3. Re:Small problem by dlenmn · · Score: 1

      Nobody EATS IT! It may not be hugely popular, but it's untrue to say that no one eats it.

      http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7281989.stm
    4. Re:Small problem by Rogerborg · · Score: 0, Flamebait

      You know one reason why it's still eaten? Because it pisses off smug patronising round-eyes who like to lecture about cultures that they have no real insight into.

      --
      If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
    5. Re:Small problem by moogleii · · Score: 2, Informative

      I did, too, and it wasn't very good. And yeah, it had an odd color to it, too, though mine wasn't rainbow, more like very dark, like it had been stained in some kind of sauce (it hadn't been).

      When he means "nobody", don't take it literally. But dolphin and whale consumption have dropped considerably. At this point, high consumption is limited to the villages where the actual hunting occurs.

    6. Re:Small problem by PitaBred · · Score: 5, Insightful

      And my culture includes beating the shit out of anyone that has "borg" in their slashdot user name. STOP OPPRESSING ME!

      I don't care what the cultural significance is... the worldwide ecological significance trumps any petty local cultural concerns. If it had no impact on everyone else, I wouldn't give two fucks. But whales are important to everyone, not just the Japanese.

    7. Re:Small problem by DimmO · · Score: 1

      Err, doesn't whale hunting occur in the ocean? not in villages?

    8. Re:Small problem by Bill,+Shooter+of+Bul · · Score: 1

      Well, you learn something new everyday. I thought the Japanese loved anything that came from water. That would literally take on extra sentence form the media to explain to its viewers, but sadly they are that lazy.

      --
      Well.. maybe. Or Maybe not. But Definitely not sort of.
    9. Re:Small problem by eamonman · · Score: 1

      I tried it on a recent trip to Japan. I just wanted to see what the fuss was about. I didn't get to try the sashimi version (just a tenpura version).

      Verdict:
      Very beefy. Soft and chewy (probably too chewy for my tastes). I tried and tried to sense if there was anything non-beefy about it, but it just seemed like a normal strip of beef that happened to be very strong tasting (strong in the way dry aged beef tastes vs regular). But it wasn't earth-shatteringly good.

      From a taste standpoint, I can see why people did eat it. If there were few if any cows around, and you were tired of eating fish and tofu for protein all the time, and there were whales-a-plenty, then whale would be a 'good thing'. Fat & beefy protein for all. I can even see why they'd try the seemingly South Park Elephant-Pig inspired experiments (cows with even cheap cuts having beefier flavor? Nice.) But these days where there's Beef Bowls, Happy Burgers, Kalbi, and American food, Japan doesn't really have a real need to keep getting whales in these whale brohaha times.

      --
      0- Eamonman Proud member of DNRC
    10. Re:Small problem by jrumney · · Score: 1

      rice that is so expensive to grow in Japan it makes no economical sense.

      It makes perfect economic sense for a nation to be self sufficient in the basic necessities for keeping the population alive. Especially when you consider the historical context that a little over 60 years ago the nation faced a US blockade which led to war, and 100 years prior to that had been closed to the world for centuries. The cold war is still recent history, and they had every reason to believe they could be cut off again (having Russia, China and North Korea as your nearest neighbours makes a difference), and the current leadership of the US is still doing their best to convince the world that we are still under threat from OMG!!! EVIL TERRISTS!!!!

    11. Re:Small problem by jrumney · · Score: 1

      I think you mean the port towns where the factory ships are based. The hunting takes place in the Southern Ocean, thousands of miles from any Japanese village.

    12. Re:Small problem by iabervon · · Score: 1

      It's obviously because people don't eat whale but people hunt them that they have breed whale-cows. That way, the whalers can hunt whale-cows for food. And then they can be all snooty for insisting on free-range whale-cow beef. Incidentally, this is in no way a scheme to appease Godzilla so he doesn't have to come ashore when he feels like land mammals for dinner.

    13. Re:Small problem by njh · · Score: 1

      Do you drive a car?

    14. Re:Small problem by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The average smug round eye doesn't lecture or even think about Japan, except to occasionally think "god damn those Japanese are bugfuck crazy aren't they".

    15. Re:Small problem by sir+fer · · Score: 0

      My Japanese wife says that if they stopped selling it in Japan, no - one would notice or even care...it's more of a curiosity than anything else, and it was the damned americans who suggested and helped them get their whaling practices underway post WW2

      There is only 1 village in Japan that has whaling as a tradition. That's right ... 1.

      --
      Debian FTW ;o)
    16. Re:Small problem by hirose.it · · Score: 1

      What you are saying is dead wrong.

      We Japanese have eaten whale meat for at least thirty thousand years, and whale hunt had been big industry since the Edo Era. The reason why whale meat was on the diet was not the food shotage after WW2, but Japanese tradition. In fact, just before commercial whale hunt prohibitted, whale meat was so popular that fried whale meat was served in school lunch occasionally.

      Most of the Japanese can't figure out the idea of total ban on whale hunt. We understand some whales like Blue Whale need to protect, but why we can't hunt the other whales, say, Minke Whales? Is there any difference between whale and tuna (or beef)?

      We feel more and more antipathy to this idea of total ban because of the savage groups like Shepherd which bother the legal whale hunt. Now some of us see this idea as religious.

  47. They're trying to create... by EddyPearson · · Score: 1

    the Ultimate culinary beast. Imagine bacon, metres long or Fillet steaks weighing as much as a grown man.

    --
    You feel sleepy. Close your eyes. The opinions stated above are yours. You cannot imagine why you ever felt otherwise.
  48. The Applications are Endless by jayspec462 · · Score: 1

    This research will revolutionize the entire "Eat this steak in 45 minutes and it's free!" industry...

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  49. Chales by el_chupanegre · · Score: 1

    Chales? Wows!!

  50. Precursor to Manbearpig? by mcspoo · · Score: 1

    Maybe Al Gore was right... we should really be afraid of Manbearpig.

  51. Re:Domesticate Hippos, Then Cross-Breed with Whale by compro01 · · Score: 1

    I would wonder about the difficulty of the former. Hippos are pretty nasty creatures. By death count, I believe they're the deadliest animal in Africa.

    --
    upon the advice of my lawyer, i have no sig at this time
  52. Cetartiodactyla by tepples · · Score: 2, Informative

    WTF? A cow is order Artiodactyla, and a whale is order Cetacea. Their DNA would be miles apart. More like furlongs apart, if this comment, this wikipedia article, and the Wikipedia article's references are to be believed.
    1. Re:Cetartiodactyla by JK_the_Slacker · · Score: 1

      RTFA, dude. They injected the whale sperm into cow eggs. So TECHNICALLY, the dna was only nanometers apart.

      --
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  53. I for one... by zdude255 · · Score: 1

    I for one welcome our new Cow-whale overlords.

  54. Silly Japanese people by Cairnarvon · · Score: 1

    Cows don't lay eggs!

  55. Query: by modecx · · Score: 1

    Any other engineers out there suddenly want to start a collaborative project with the goal to arm whales with torpedoes, or alternatively, whale borne, atmosphere-fused, time-delayed "payback devices"? I mean: we could, with a little work, start Whale-Queda; and whale deservedly, too.

    The second amendment grants us the right to arm bears, why can't we extend this a just a little? If the sharks get lasers, it really is the least we could do.

    --
    Constitutional rights may be respected, repealed, or modified; but they must never be ignored.
  56. Heed the lesson of the Chicken Cow by ninjaz · · Score: 1
    This all reminds me of the Chicken Cow

    Among its characterstics:

    This beast comes out when it is 25 degrees below zero
    It can rip your head off
    It can fly as high as a bird
    It can bite your face

  57. Big Book O' Mad Science Experiments by smellsofbikes · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Anyone who reads this summary (without realizing that this is just a way to keep whaling under the guise of research) and thinks "dude, that's messed-up: I wonder what other shenanigans scientsts get up to?" should go read Elephants On Acid (and other bizarre experiments). It's a seriously strange book just chock-full of "they did WHAT? Dear Lord, *WHY*?" experiments. I thought it was interesting as a book because some of the experiments, I was like "cool, I've always wondered about that" when other people (my girlfriend, brother, best friend) were all "they did WHAT??!?" and likewise, they found meaning in other experiments that I thought were completely delusional. (Yeah, I'm saying the validity of experiments is relative.) There are some really truly gruesome experiments discussed in here, though, truly Frankenstein nightmare experiments done in the USSR, so it's not for the weak of stomach. But it's a great read.

    --
    Nostalgia's not what it used to be.
    1. Re:Big Book O' Mad Science Experiments by Mr.+Roadkill · · Score: 1

      Testing LSD on elephants isn't that nasty, not compared with other things they might have tried. Testing hash brownies on elephants would have been particulary bad - can you imagine trying to get a half dozen stoned elephants out of a convenience store at 3 in the morning? Or lager - an elephant throwing up 300 pints, ten bushels of curry and a gross of onion bhajis would not be a pretty sight.

  58. Context by Quothz · · Score: 1

    That article, at first glance, seemed pretty nonsensical and bizarre. It's probably the worst-written news article I've ever seen, with no context, background, or apparent point. I mean, I've seen research from western nations that seems just as silly as the crossbreeding mentioned in the article. It reads as though some scientists, purely at random, decided to look at 43 whale-related research papers and found some silly things.

    It seems that the scientists in question are commissioned by the International Fund for Animal Welfare, who complain that this research is simply an excuse t'hunt whales and sell them at market. A press release from the IFAW:

    http://www.ifaw.org/ifaw/general/default.aspx?oid=225091

    Specifically, this is in response to the Japanese increasing their whaling, allegedly for science:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/4118990.stm

    Now, it strikes me that the IFAW is not, perhaps, the most objective group on the planet to evaluate this. The Japan Times has this to say:

    http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/nn20071225i1.html

    Virtually every article out there appears to be a regurgitation of various environmental group press releases, except a couple very neutral but content-free wire service articles. I see no detailed, objective review of the science.

    I suspect the ICAW and other environmental orginazations would declare -any- research that kills whales "trivial", because they place a higher value on whales' lives than any possible research results. They don't give details of the research except vague five-word descriptions of those that sound ridiculous on the face. I'd much rather have details than rhetoric, personally.

    Japan's government isn't the best possible source of unbiased opinion, either, although their claims that the whaling is sustainable seems t'be backed up by the whaling agreement under which they're operating. Given that they're obeying the limits under that agreement, I'm inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt until such time as it's demonstrated otherwise.

    I think the real junk science here is relying on groups with ulterior motives to evaluate the scientific value of the whaling. Let someone who doesn't want t'have the whales' babies -or- eat the whales' undoubtedly tasty flesh review the research, and I'll listen.

  59. Manatee by WilyCoder · · Score: 1

    Japan hasn't heard of manatees?

  60. In related news...... by edwardpickman · · Score: 1

    Another group of Whale/cows beached themselves in Japan. Representatives for Greenpeace fought valiantly to save the majestic black and white patterned giants while several thousand Japanese stood by with knives and forks. Several hundred others were on hand with the world's largest bun.

  61. The best science by jago25_98 · · Score: 1

    has no direction and invites chance

  62. Lost in translation? by DocMAME · · Score: 1

    I can't help but wonder if this wasn't a matter of terminology lost in translation... Female Whale = Cow Male Whale = Bull Young Whale = Calf Cow artificially inseminated by whale = Female Whale inseminated by Male Whale = No outrageous news story.

  63. As I've said. by SnappyCrunch · · Score: 1

    The number one export of Japan continues to be "Crazy Sh*t".

  64. Has this not already been done in the U.S.?? by Berserker76 · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...or how else would you explain Rosie O'Donnell??

    1. Re:Has this not already been done in the U.S.?? by blackbeaktux · · Score: 1

      No, good sir. If a whale sperm sounded like a banshee, I might agree with you. How about a manatee-banshee hybrid?

  65. It's worse, it makes it (sound) xenophobic by Moraelin · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Actually, leaving that out of the summary doesn't just make it sound more ridiculous, it's suspiciously xenophobic. It singles out Japan as doing wacky science. You know, unlike us Europeans or you Americans.

    Bit of a reality check:

    1. Western companies routinely pay for dubious research that pushes their own agenda. Probably more rabbits and rats smoked tobacco because of tobacco companies trying to prove that smoking is harmless, than because of all other research combined. (And if they want to present test-tube whale babies as ridiculous research, then, hello? Smoking rabbits? When was the last documented time a rabbit just naturally rolled a tobacco leaf and smoked it?)

    Or mice were shaved and exposed to UV-B so they'd die of cancer, in an experiment that tried to prove that drinking coffee is good for you in that aspect. Gee, I wonder who the sponsor was there. (And again, seriously, when was the last time a mouse shaved and went to get a tan on his own?)

    Anti-depressant companies routinely publish studies where their MAO uptake inhibitors are the best thing since Eden, and routinely junk studies where for various forms of depression other stuff works even better. Yoghurt manufacturers publish studies after studies in which their bacteria are the best thing that could live in your intestine... if they only got past that pesky acid in your stomach. Etc.

    2. Western corporate PR routinely carpet-bombs the media with even more bizarre and ridiculous pseudo-science. Scientist discovers formula for the best day to take a vacation! (It doesn't even add the same units and stuff, and it's sponsored by a travel company which runs a promotion for flights in that months. Go figure.) Scientists say: In the future all women will have huge breasts and all men will have huge dicks! (Except it wasn't as much science, as an essay paid for by a magazine.) Scientists discover: Cocoa contains valuable enzymes so chocolate is good for you! (Except they don't exist in chocolate. And it was sponsored by Mars.) Etc.

    Still think Japan's actual research in wales looks ridiculous compared to _that_ kind of garbage?

    3. If it sounds ridiculous just because it tries to do genetic stuff with wales _and_ cows, I humbly propose the following list of stuff done by the West and China. And that's just off the top of my head. You don't even need to try hard to spin any of them as ridiculous.

    - Crossing jellyfish and rabbits to get glow-in-the-dark rabbits.

    - Ditto for pigs.

    - Ditto to get coloured glow-in-the-dark sperm. (I wonder why the porn industry didn't already jump on that idea. Imagine a bukkake in the dark, where each shot glows a different colour;)

    - Getting genes from insects or arachnids into goats, so they'd produce silk strands in their milk.

    - Getting mammal-speciffic proteins into fungi, so they'd produce renet. (Actually used by the cheese industry.)

    - Making a human embryo with two mothers and a father.

    Etc.

    I mean, if anyone wants to look at Japan's research as "hur hur hur, Beavis, where in the nature would a whale fuck a cow?"... then, by the same token, heh, exactly when was the last time when a horny spider impregnated a goat? And do female rabbits in heat routinely get their bones jumped by jellyfish? And exactly how would a baby with two mothers and a father happen naturally? It's actually impossible even with two fathers and a mother, but it's at least the kind of thing which some people would believe as an urban legend. But two mothers and a father? Exactly what perverted act would those two women need to do, so the egg of one ends up merged with the egg of the other, before the guy impregnates the result?

    Or, I dunno, we could accept that just because taking stuff out of context can make it sound funny, it doesn't mean there can't be a legitimate purpose to doing that kind of research.

    --
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    1. Re:It's worse, it makes it (sound) xenophobic by jim.hansson · · Score: 1

      and here is one more

      firefly and tobacco plant, taking gene's from firefly and putting them in tobacco plant and you have a glow in the dark tobacco plant, i think this was done 1986 first time for transferring gene's from a animal to a plant and in USA
        not exactly the same as those in parent but it was really weird back then

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    2. Re:It's worse, it makes it (sound) xenophobic by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
      "Imagine a bukkake in the dark, where each shot glows a different colour"

      Pass.

    3. Re:It's worse, it makes it (sound) xenophobic by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Forgot to hit our ol' friend the AC button, eh?

    4. Re:It's worse, it makes it (sound) xenophobic by flyingsquid · · Score: 2, Funny
      1. Western companies routinely pay for dubious research that pushes their own agenda. Probably more rabbits and rats smoked tobacco because of tobacco companies trying to prove that smoking is harmless, than because of all other research combined.

      No, those rabbits and rats smoked those cigarettes because they thought it would make them look cool. Plus, you know, peer pressure. The guinea pigs were all smoking, and they were the "in" crowd among lab animals, so the rest of the rodents were just trying to fit in.

    5. Re:It's worse, it makes it (sound) xenophobic by BlackSnake112 · · Score: 1

      To bad someone let all the chain smoking squirrels loose on the streets. Now they run out and dance in front of cars daring the driver to hit them.

    6. Re:It's worse, it makes it (sound) xenophobic by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Except those examples you give have some practical advantage that they are trying to get. For example, goats producing silk would provide a drasticly cheaper source of one of the strongest materials in the world. Spider silk is much stronger than silk from worms, but is much harder to produce in bulk. (PopSci ran an article a while ago that mentioned that a rope of spider silk a quarter of an inch think could pull a fighter jet out of the sky) What are they trying to develop with cows and whales?

    7. Re:It's worse, it makes it (sound) xenophobic by Hatta · · Score: 2, Insightful

      When was the last documented time a rabbit just naturally rolled a tobacco leaf and smoked it?.

      And again, seriously, when was the last time a mouse shaved and went to get a tan on his own?

      Do you have any idea how medical research works? You can't ethically use humans, so you find a model organism and hope it's close enough that your results apply to humans. I can't say that that research is good, but there's nothing inherently wrong with that kind of experimental design.

      And there's a world of difference between injecting a bit of well characterized DNA into an egg to create a chimeric organism which is done all the time, and expecting two unrelated species to be able to fertilize one another. Yes, this research really does sound ridiculous.

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    8. Re:It's worse, it makes it (sound) xenophobic by Moraelin · · Score: 4, Funny

      Do you have any idea how medical research works? You can't ethically use humans, so you find a model organism and hope it's close enough that your results apply to humans. I can't say that that research is good, but there's nothing inherently wrong with that kind of experimental design.


      Actually, I do have some idea. And yes, I could also tell you what was the purpose of each of the western experiments I listed.

      The point wasn't that Western research is all silly. The point is that you can make anything sound silly, or outright deranged, if you quote selected bits out of context, apply some heavy-handed spin to it, and do it for an audience that's more interested in validating their own xenophobic delusions than in critically thinking about that experiment.
      --
      A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
    9. Re:It's worse, it makes it (sound) xenophobic by belg4mit · · Score: 1

      Engineered transgenic animals where a select gene is purposefully inserted for the benefits of its expression
      IS NOT THE SAME THING as cross-breeding random beasts. All of your "crazy" examples for point three are legitmate.
      I mean hell, you forget insulin production by yeast. Or would you rather we go back to slaughtering sheep for that?

      --
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    10. Re:It's worse, it makes it (sound) xenophobic by Fluffy+Bunnies · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Japan is among the very few countries in the world that hunts whales. They get a lot of international criticism for it, but their excuse for continuing is "scientific experimentation" (and of course after the experiment is complete, they sell the meat to restaurants; waste not, want not and so forth). The point of TFA was that the "scientific experimentation" conducted is BS. Basically, it's written by people who have moral qualms about eating delicious whale meat and want Japan to stop.

    11. Re:It's worse, it makes it (sound) xenophobic by barry99705 · · Score: 2, Funny

      300 pound Whoppers.

    12. Re:It's worse, it makes it (sound) xenophobic by donscarletti · · Score: 0

      Actually, leaving that out of the summary doesn't just make it sound more ridiculous, it's suspiciously xenophobic. It singles out Japan as doing wacky science. You know, unlike us Europeans or you Americans.
      Yep. a lot of people do a lot of stupid stuff, the stuff we're reading about this time is stupid stuff done by Japanese people, rather than the stupid stuff done by European or American people. There isn't a nationalist conspiracy here, the stuff is just funny.
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    13. Re:It's worse, it makes it (sound) xenophobic by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What are they trying to develop with cows and whales?

      An animal that gives a hundred gallons of milk per day?

  66. Cowhales Not So Stupid by Doc+Ruby · · Score: 1

    The scientific research included injecting minke whale sperm into cows eggs, and attempts to produce test-tube whale babies.


    That's not such a stupid experiment. Cross-species hybrids don't work (except maybe in some rare cases). But why, exactly?

    Of course the different species animals don't copulate in the wild (again, maybe rare cases... that's why it's called the wild). Artificial insemination might fail for any number of reasons, none of them simply molecular genetics. Injecting the sperm directly into the egg could possibly show some results, and therefore expose whole mechanisms of reproduction. Even if it fails, the incompatibility is known to extend down to that deep level.

    We don't know very much about genetics, especially at the rubber/road juncture, considering how much there is to know. Science works by disproving proposition (when possible), so failures are valuable.

    And, if successful, a cowhale could be very valuable, especially in a country like Japan which has a hunger for whale that cows alone can't satisfy.
    --

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  67. The Far Side by EdIII · · Score: 2, Funny

    Anybody else visualizing a Far Side comic with 2 whale-cows and a farmer?

    1. Re:The Far Side by Alsee · · Score: 1

      Yes Brain, but if our knees bent the other way, how would we ride a bicycle?

      -

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    2. Re:The Far Side by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      TROZ!

  68. Unique Cow/Whale Hybrid Experiments ?? by kenj0418 · · Score: 1

    > Unique Cow/Whale Hybrid Experiments

    I'm not sure how unique these experiments are. That sort of thing happens all the time after my Weight Watchers meetings.

  69. Welsey Willis fans? by ichthyoboy · · Score: 1

    Maybe the Japanese scientists are just huge Wesley Willis fans?

  70. Dilbert does genetics by PhilHibbs · · Score: 1

    Would a cow/whale hybrid be a Cow-orca?

  71. They stopped when they found prior art... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Divine.

  72. Patrick Duffy! by xmuskrat · · Score: 1

    What about a monster that has a piece of celery for one of his hands and one of his legs is replaced with Patrick Duffy! Maybe he could weave wicker baskets as a hobby.

    --
    activestudios web design
  73. Clover Field by themagic8ball · · Score: 1

    So that is how the clover field monster was created.

  74. *ducks*? by billstewart · · Score: 1

    No, it's Rabbit Season!

    --

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    New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
  75. How can we take TFA seriously? by Babu+'God'+Hoover · · Score: 1

    43 papers out of how many published?
    Is it possible only 43 papers have been written on whales in Japan over the past 18 years? I suspect that this is off by a factor of 10.

    combining genetic material of cow and whale labeled bizarre, or is the science in a particular paper that is bizarre?
    think about it, people who eat dried, shredded, spiced, squid as a snack, might be a huge market for beef jerky that tastes like whale.

  76. McDonald's by ciaran.mchale · · Score: 1

    If the whale-cow crossbreeding trials were successful then you can bet that McDonald's in Japan would introduce a new item to their menu: the blubber burger. And they would have a new advertising slogan: "Come to McDonald's for a whale of a good time."

  77. oh god by Merc248 · · Score: 1

    Next experiment: octopus and growth hormone. With women

    --
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  78. Whoooooooo by JackAxe · · Score: 1

    That's the sound a cowhale makes.

    <]=)

  79. Um... by mrfantasy · · Score: 2, Informative

    I think we may have an immense misunderstanding here.

    I think a female whale is in fact referred to as a "cow".

    Therefore, these experiments are likely whale IVF. Which is still weird, but considerably less so. The real story is Japan's flimsy excuse to do "research" that allows them to continue whaling.

    In other words, nothing to see here, move along.

    --

    -- Of course I'm paranoid. I'm a sysadmin.

  80. Re: Cloning Meat by billstewart · · Score: 1
    We can clone some meat animals occasionally, but that doesn't mean they appear out of nowhere; you still need to feed them till they grow up to eating size.


    There has been some work done on growing meat muscle directly in artificial environments, but it's only small experimental quantities and it's basically grown in a meat-based broth, so there's no efficiency gain there either. (It's too bad - I'm a vegetarian for ethical reasons, so if they could grow cultured mystery meat without having to use dead animal juices to feed it, I'd be interested in eating some.) Of course, since it's lab research only, it's not something available at a finite price.

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  81. Well... by jd · · Score: 2, Insightful
    You've got to be careful on the specious. Whales are descended from land animals and you can get huge physical changes with very small genetic differences. It is also possible to GM genetically distant mammals to grow human organs - although I'm suspicious about potential genetic contamination and abnormal stresses. Hypothetically, provided whales have not become too distant, it should be possible to get relatively close land animals to at least grow "whale meat", and provided the changes are (at the genetic level) superficial, cross-species fertilization would not be impossible.

    Herein lies the problem. The first, which would have eliminated the need for a whaling fleet, was not attempted, as far as I can tell. No great surprise, given who financed the research. The second is extremely unlikely - whales are ancient, and the genetic differences with their closest land relatives are significant - and don't apply to cows. If they'd worked with hippos, I might be inclined to believe that they took their own research seriously. They're still way too distant for it to be remotely credible, but given it's the closest land relative going, it would at least make some sense. Sure, cows are easier to obtain, but you need to be in a truly Dilbertesque situation, incredibly stupid or believe everyone else to be incredibly stupid, to go in that direction.

    (Sadly, many people are incredibly stupid when it comes to bad science, which is why there's so much out there any why it's so profitable. I suggest reviewing the animated Dilbert episode on Chronic Cubicle Syndrome for further information on credulity. It's not restricted to any group of people - plenty of people regarded as geniuses believed incredibly stupid things. Intelligence provides an extra tool to filter out nonsense, but it must be applied for it to work and it is easily negated by flawed assumptions and preconcieved notions. Problem is, as the cartoon notes, it's impossible to investigate everything, which means everyone works from flawed assumptions and preconcieved notions.)

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    1. Re:Well... by nyctopterus · · Score: 1

      Well, to be fair, after hippos, cows are as close as you get.

  82. Japan doesn't have a lot of farmland by poity · · Score: 1

    so perhaps they're trying to make use of the abundant ocean real estate (and fishing industry) around Japan with cows modified to thrive off of minimally processed sea nutrients?

    I'm not an expert in any of this, but that sounds more plausible than the suggestion that they're trying to breed whale sized cows.

    --
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  83. CORRECTION by v(*_*)vvvv · · Score: 1

    The history of Whale fishing/hunting goes back as far as 8000 years. And if it were cheaper, more people would probaby eat it today. There are places that soley serve whale cuisine, and to say no normal japanese person would eat it is speaking for *a whole lot of people*.

    The rise in whale consumption after WW2 may have to do with a shortage of food, but it also has to do with the navy redirecting their resources. Initially the navy took over many of the larger fishing boats and armed them for miliary use. After the war, they started fishing with them again.

    As for rice paddies, no the government does not own them. As far as I know they are owned by farmers, and because of the value of the land, they would rather keep it, doing what they've been doing, than sell it and do something else. If anything, the government has been kicking them off their land to make way for rails, roads and airports.

  84. Yeah, right. by Valdrax · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I propose a study of Slashdot memes to figure out which ones actually DO get you modded into oblivion, because from what I've seen Stale Meme + "I know I'm going to be modded down" == Instant +5, Funny.

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    1. Re:Yeah, right. by MadMidnightBomber · · Score: 4, Funny

      I think you meant:

      1. Stale Meme, plus
      2. "I know I'm going to be modded down."
      3. Profit!!

      PS. self-referential post FTW!

      --
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    2. Re:Yeah, right. by ensignyu · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Of course, it could just be selection bias. Maybe there's dozens of stale meme posts that all say "I know I'm going to be modded down" that do get modded to -1, but you only pay attention to the ones that get modded +5 Funny.

    3. Re:Yeah, right. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I, for one, *not* welcome our new reverse psychology using overlords.

    4. Re:Yeah, right. by cheater512 · · Score: 0, Redundant

      I assume you posted that knowing that you'd get +5 Insightful as well.

      Just as I did. :)
      (Hint Hint)

    5. Re:Yeah, right. by calebt3 · · Score: 2, Interesting

      No. I browse a 0 with -1 minimized but onscreen. Virtually everybody that says they will get modded down ends up +3 or higher.

    6. Re:Yeah, right. by Thanshin · · Score: 1

      I swear I heard Nelson's "Ha Ha!" upon reading that (Redundant) mod.

      Yes, I had to. Burning karma warms my winter nights.

    7. Re:Yeah, right. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Your doing it wrong!

  85. Wait a minute by i_liek_turtles · · Score: 0

    When hearing of this "breakthrough", Cowboy Neal claims prior art.

  86. Re:This sounds like a twisted subplot to an anime. by Alsee · · Score: 2, Funny

    The Japanese are seriously taking that bukake thing way too far.

    -

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  87. Where are the pictures by fsterman · · Score: 1

    No, seriously, where the hell are the pictures?

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  88. So, by pavon · · Score: 1

    slavery is acceptable as long as it can be done sustainably, without driving the human population to extinction? Good to know.

  89. Sorry to point out the obvious, but by harrumph · · Score: 1

    Whale reproduction normally involves a cow.

  90. Re:This sounds like a twisted subplot to an anime. by blackbeaktux · · Score: 1

    tentacles? Talking about sperm whales, i don't think this is a coincidence.

  91. Branding of animal hybrids by JayLink1971 · · Score: 1

    Clearly this cow-whale hybrid should be marketed under the name of "ShaMOO".

  92. Whale Jerky by blackbeaktux · · Score: 1

    I once tried whale jerky. It had the taste and texture of oversmoked, oversalted, charred deer. I just found this article deliciously topical.

    My environmentalist friend wasn't too pleased that I ate it at all, but she begrudgingly let it pass after I declared I would not eat whale again after that experience. Now if they could successfully make a whale-beef hybrid jerky, (whale that tastes like beef and not vice-versa) we all win, no?

  93. So would that be a... by rizole · · Score: 1

    ...Wow or a Cale?

  94. Stomach acid.... by jotaeleemeese · · Score: 1

    Parasites routinely pass through the acid in our suffering stomachs.

    There would be nothing extraordinary fi bacteria in yoghurt actually do....

    --
    IANAL but write like a drunk one.
  95. Re:This sounds like a twisted subplot to an anime. by AshenFalls · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Informative? Oh god.

    --
    I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
  96. What else would it be besides cow? by philspear · · Score: 1

    So the japanese have a huge demand for whale meat, people are willing to pay quite a premium for it. Problem: whales are becoming rare, and consequently the rest of the world is putting pressure on them to quit hunting whales. That presents an opportunity though, it's quite feasible that if there is a ban on whaling, the price of whale meat would go sky high, making alternative methods of harvesting whale meat possible.

    It would be nice to farm whales, but there's a problem: you would have to domesticate whales or at least catch a whole bunch live and make them mate... which they don't do in captivity.

    Alright, how about artificial impregnation? That would work, except you still have the problem of having very few whales. You'd want to have maybe a hundred whales, and artificial impregnation is not too terribly efficient, and the impregnated whales would need a huge "grazing" area.

    Well, then what about using another species as surrogates for whale embryos, letting them grow to a point in captivity, then eating them? Still expensive, but demand is very high, it's a lucrative possibility.

    Problem: what animals to use as surrogates? It's going to be even lower efficiency than if you were doing it with whales, so you would want to have a lot of them availiable, they should be well studies animals too with established health guidelines, and most obviously must be able to support a whale of a fetus. Mice? People?

    Cows are the pretty obvious choice. If the study had shown that you can use cows as surrogates for whales with few problems, we wouldn't have to worry about whale extinction, the japanese could enjoy their whale meat, problem solved. The only issue would be the inevitable animal rights activists, but those people all have something wrong with their heads anyway.

    1. Re:What else would it be besides cow? by philspear · · Score: 1

      Er... uh... yeah, so I realize they're not using cows as surrogates, they're making hybrids. I guess that's different. I do have to say that if the hybrids were viable, that might still be a good solution.

      I still think my analysis holds, since presumably it would be much harder to obtain whale eggs (requiring surgery) than whale sperm (requiring... well I honestly don't know), and cow eggs would be easier to obtain. A lot of species when artificially hybridized like that develop to a point.

      It's fairly common in labs studying the basics of fertilization to create "humsters" which are hamster eggs with some of the outer layers removed (the zona I think) fertilized with human sperm. They undergo fertilization although I don't know how much further than that they go. They definitely don't implant it in a human or hamster.

      But creating a hybrid to "troubleshoot" some of the early developmental barriers to growing a whale in a cow would be a cheaper way to go about it than using up whale eggs, only to find out after pouring hundreds of thousands into it that in order to get something fertilized with a whale sperm to implant into a cow you need to add something like a growth factor or a certain whale hormone.

      But yeah, this isn't the best science.

  97. Don't Look Up...... by photonrider · · Score: 1

    Spiderpigs.....

  98. Already made? by Cappy+Red · · Score: 1

    I thought we already had these? I mean, they have a different name, but Washington Mutual named their bank after them.

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  99. No problem by hefa · · Score: 0

    I live in Japan now, and I do eat whale every once in a while. I prefer it raw though, as sashimi. Good parts can be extraordinarily delicious.

    And I come from a country that frowns upon whale hunting. Personally I don't care much.

  100. Since cow is a female... by tanveer1979 · · Score: 1

    I am sure they used Sperm Whales

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  101. Whales are important to everyone because... why? by patio11 · · Score: 1

    Whales are important to whales, and they're important to Western environmentalists for whom they are an object of pseudo-religious devotion, but personally, my life would be unaffected if they were to all simultaneously be teleported to Jupiter. (So long and thanks for all the plankton?) Arguably, the "petty local concern" proves that Japan is *most* impacted by the prescence or absence of whales, since they actually put them to human use, without which they're just a sea sponge which is a few orders of magnitude bigger.

    I have yet to hear an argument that whales/dolphins/cows are important and cockroaches/protazoa/the malaria parasite/sea cucumbers are not which is not, at its core, religious.

  102. Useless ? by Joebert · · Score: 1

    A review of the controversial scientific research conducted by Japan and its whalers has uncovered a list of "bizarre" and useless experiments, including how to cross breed cows with whales.

    I wouldn't exactly call it useless. Breeding cows in large numbers has long been mastered, if you could get a cow to produce whale blubber there would be little reason to hunt whales.
    --
    Wanna fight ? Bend over, stick your head up your ass, and fight for air.
  103. Dangerous by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It sounds like when dem niggers fucked the apes and we ended up with the AIDS virus.

  104. Obligatory question by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Japan... crossbreeding... Come on, you know you want to ask!

    Where are the catgirls? (in the furry sense, not the crazy girl dressed in leather Batman-style sense)

  105. Re:Whales are important to everyone because... why by AdamWeeden · · Score: 1

    I believe the argument for saving the whales is their scarcity. We, as humans, have already killed many species to the point of extinction: tazmanian tiger, dodo, etc. We have many protections for MANY other endangered species: manatee, elephants, etc. I think this debate is to whether a species is worth preserving from extinction, even if that dictates that a culture may have to rescind a practice or two in the process.

    --
    I was quoted out of context in my autobiography...
  106. Redundant my ass by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I was the first one to post that they were in different orders, ass wipe moderator. Look at the f-ing timestamp. Stupid fuck. Just because someone posted some crap above a post where it doesn't belong doesn't mean that anything below it is redundant. Christ, do us all a favor, and cancel your slashdot account. After that, get an axe and smash your computer, then your head.

  107. It had to be asked... by Vampyre_Dark · · Score: 1

    WHALES THE BEEF?

  108. The Next Step by Whatshisface · · Score: 1
    But if we really want to save the whales, breeding them with cows is not enough.

    We need to do more.

  109. Re: Cloning Meat by Hojima · · Score: 0

    Thought you might be interested in this (though more engineered than cloned, you'd still appreciate it): http://www.tfot.info/pod/1127/animal-friendly-meat.html