NASA's Orbiting Carbon Observatory Mission Fails
jw3 writes "The NASA Orbiting Carbon Observatory scheduled for launch today has failed its mission: the payload fairing failed to separate and the launch managers declared a contingency. George Diller, NASA launch commentator, said, 'It either did not separate or did not separate in the way that it should, but at any rate we're still trying to evaluate exactly what the status of the spacecraft is at this point.'" Update: 02/24 14:17 GMT by T : Reader fadethepolice points out a Reuters report which says that the craft crashed into the ocean just short of Antarctica.
is a hoax, and the rocket knows it was just wasting time and money. It threw the launch.
Without a full investigation, I'd hypothesize tha the status is "laying in many pieces on the ice somewhere in Antarctica."
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Loco NOCO
Rejects retrograde
As wild whisker
Evades the blade
Burma Shave
Get thee glass eyes, and, like a scurvy politician, seem to see things thou dost not.--King Lear
Is this the one where we fire a ball of garbage into the sun?
I know with the Mars rovers the cost of a second rover was small change compared to the development cost of the original. The launch vehicle is expensive, of course, but it was considered cheaper to launch two missions and hope one succeeded than launching one that could fail and mean all the money was wasted.
What sort of contingency do they have for sats like this? Do they just fabricate another one and try again in a year or two?
Kwisatz Haderach
Sell the spice to CHOAM
This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
"Nasa will now put together an investigation board to determine the root cause of the problem."
You mean, NASA will now put together an prevarication board to bullshit about this nonsense.
Quick question, are acronyms not capitalized on the other side of the pond, or have the editors at the beeb been sacked?
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
It's four thirty a.m. and the house is asleep.
I. . . am not asleep.
I am crouched in the bathtub in a frog-like stance, small puddles of urine and liquid shit at my feet. I'm leaning forward, gripping the side of the tub and biting my knee, overwhelmed by a mixture of pain and pleasure as I piston a dildo in and out of my ass.
You see, I really love anal masturbation.
Ever try it? No? You should.
Doesn't matter who you are. God gave all of us, male and female, an abundance of nerve endings in our rectum - and one life to live. So why don't you go ahead and test out the equipment? Have some fun. No point in having a gun sitting on your shelf your entire life and never killing anyone, right?
But I realize there's a fairly persistent misconception among guys that I'm gonna have to dispel before we go any further:
Stimulating your own ass is not "gay."
That notion doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I mean, how could anything you do to your own body be gay? Nobody ever freaks out in the middle of jerking off like "Holy fuck, I've got a fistful of cock! I've gotta cut this gay shit out!" Well, what's the philosophical difference between playing with your dick and playing with your ass?
There is none.
Look fellas, here's the scoop:
If you have a girl wearing a foot long strap-on, smacking your face and screaming "WHO'S MY BITCH?!?" while she pounds your asshole until it bleeds, that would be a *heterosexual* act. Girl on guy. Simple.
Now if it's a guy that's fucking you, that would be homosexual. And if you're doing it to yourself, well, that's plain old masturbation.
But listen - if you're still sitting there being stubborn, all macho and uptight going "My ass. . . is EXIT ONLY!!!" then lemme just ask you a question.
You know that feeling you get when you take a really big shit?
You know what I'm talking about. You're sitting on the couch, eating Cheez-Its and watching Larry King, when all of the sudden you feel that familiar burning. . . so you get up and bound off to the bathroom all bow legged, clenching your sphincter real tight, and then you furiously rip off your boxer briefs and plop down on the seat just in time to let a huuuuuuge thick turd come sliding out of your ass?
Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!
That feeling.
That tingling, chills up your spine, this-is-absolutely-the-pinnacle-of-human-existence feeling.
Well guess what. That's the feeling of a massive rod moving through your rectum, tickling those wonderfully abundant nerve endings. You love it. It's okay. We all do. It doesn't make you a fag. Or at the very least, we're ALL fags. So indulge yourself.
(Yes, I understand that said feeling is partially due to the sensory experience of toxins leaving the body, which is unique to defecation - but the operative word here is "partially." You like the log movement, too. Don't try to argue.)
So anyway, now that you've decided to be bold, and not a homophobic pussy, and poke around the cornhole a little bit - good for you. But there's something you should remember. Anal masturbation is just like playing the accordion, or shooting a jumper, or really anything else that's worth doing. That is, it requires practice.
You see, back when I was a kid I would get curious and stick a finger or a toothbrush up there, but I wasn't fucking around with anywhere near the kind of pleasure I'm achieving now. It was uncomfortable even. So I worked on it.
And conversely, I know I'm still far from expertise in this particular discipline. I don't claim to be an ass master. There's a whole world of lengths, girths, textures, and vibrations that my eager browneye has yet to inhale.
But since I have honed my skills to a pretty decent level, I'll share with you my current technique. Without further ado:
SpunkyBrewster's Anal Masturbation Technique
What You Need:
1. Lubricant of your choice
2. Fake cock (eight inches, approx.)
3. Ridged anal wand (seven inches, approx.)
Procedure:
According to the NYT, that's pretty much what happened: NASA Satellite Lands in Ocean
"Anyone who [rips a CD] is probably engaging in copyright infringement." - David O. Carson
TAKE THAT ENVIRONMENT!
Aliens sabotaged the launch so they can continue to warm the planet to make it more palatable to their bodies when they invade 20 years from now.
The satellite will now be re-purposed to study carbon and methane emissions that need to be observed to determine the current threat level regarding activity in R'lyeh.
"Initial indications are the vehicle did not have enough [force] to reach orbit and landed just short of Antarctica in the ocean."
I'm sure the ancient ones are happy to have some new tech to plunder.
All hail the new tentacle observer!
There are 4 boxes to use in the defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, ammo. Use in that order- Ed Howdershelt Via Tass
I wonder if they have another OCO sitting as backup somewhere? Satellites are usually built in pairs just in case one of them fails during launch. Also, the BBC confirmed that the OCO is in the antarctic right now. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7907570.stm
bloated government agency. I'm not talking about bloated money-wise, but process and procedure-wise. The fact they have even less money these days doesn't help any but they're a starving fat pig when they need to be a lean marathon runner.
The telemetry from the satellite is reading zero across the board. That must mean there's no carbon dioxide in the atmosphere anymore. Now we don't have to worry about global warming - fantastic!
Good work, NASA. I knew we could get this climate change thing cleared up once we had better data.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. - Mark Twain
Was the decision to use the Taurus to keep launch costs down? Launching from Vandenberg, I'm assuming they were aiming for a steep inclination. Just wondering if anyone knows why they didn't go with a Delta II....
This probe would have provided millions of carbon dioxide measurements a day* for the entire atmospheric column (rather than the hundreds of measurements, usually only at ground level that we currently get from our fixed sensors). Considering the importance these measurements would be in helping us predict climate change, I think we (the human race) has just suffered a serious setback.
[There was a scene in the movie "Silent Running" where the command is given to jettison and detonate the last remaining biospheres. The commander says "may god have mercy on us". I'm beginning to feel that way now.]
*it was going to take readings at 56,000 locations a day but at each location would record carbon dioxide concentrations for the entire air column.
It is a conspiracy man! They don't want us to know the truth about how bad off we are! Ok, back to my reefer smoking...
"My immediate reaction is "WTF? What kind of moron doesn't make things 64-bit safe to begin with?" Linus
Without a full investigation, I'd hypothesize tha the status is "laying in many pieces on the ice somewhere in Antarctica."
I don't know what an investigation might find: or maybe, that some of the oil interests are sleeping easier at nights?
Dear Lincoln,
Ha ha old man, I had to spend much in sabotaging your CO2 monitoring satellite. But now all your base are belong to us.
Signed,
Chairman Mao
Chinese Empire
My poetry site welcomes the unusual.
the key satillite designed to monitor global warming and CO2 pollution and hence get scientific data that might affect global business and industrial nations has just nose dived into Antartica?
lets make sure nobody tells the conspiracy theorists, they could have a ball with this one.
NASA should dump ever satellite in the ocean. It's good for jobs. We could have everyone in the country building NASA satellites around the clock. Those would be good paying jobs.
Oh wait,....
effin' hilarious.
The 986-pound (447-kg) spacecraft was tucked inside a clamshell-like shroud to protect it during the ride into space. But three minutes into the flight, the cover failed to separate as expected, dooming the mission.
"As a direct result of carrying that extra weight we could not make orbit," said John Brunschwyler, the Taurus program manager with manufacturer Orbital Sciences Corp.
The spacecraft, also built by Orbital Sciences, fell back to Earth, splashing down into the southern Pacific Ocean near Antarctica.
Think Deeply.
Does this mean that the Europa mission goes down the drain now? Will they try to launch a simplified version of this CO2 monitor in the future? Or will they just "move on"?
You mean we just put all that CO2 into the atmosphere to launch the satellite for nothing?! And then when it failed to deploy and burnt up on reentry, it put even more carbon into the atmosphere?!
The polar bears! THINK OF THE POLAR BEARS!
I have a bad feeling about this...
Apparently, they mistakenly set it for carbon monoxide and it only went up half as high as needed.
This is exactly like the failed launch of a climate monitoring satellite in the movie "The Arrival" where aliens were trying to terraform earth to make it warmer and were trying to keep us complacent by making it impossible for any scientists to ever present conclusive evidence! The aliens, oil companies, and Obama are all in on it! We've elected aliens!
Charlie Sheen was in it! He obviously knows a lot because he's slept with over 5k women!
I'm sick of the government, oil industry, and aliens getting away with shit! Time for some wooden stakes and DNA testing!
"There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell them." ~ Louis Armstrong
This sucks! No C02 means: 1) All plants will soon die 2) All animals die soon after (including us) 3) ? 4) !profit
The world is made by those who show up for the job.
> the craft crashed into the ocean just short of Antarctica.
So luckily it had a softer landing by hitting water instead of some of that hard ice.
Oh. Wait !!
Guys, I saied a satellite, not a homing missile :)
Hire the Mexicans from MASA to fix it!
They'll do it for 1/1000th the cost.
nobody remains virgin, life fscks everyone...
what's the danger of having a failed satellite lying in the Antarctica?
there's some dangerous reactive down there polluting such a fragile enviroment ?
Slashdot ya no es que lo era!
==
Yes I don't always get my facts right so what?
Build a Man a Fire, and He'll Be Warm for a Day. Set a Man on Fire, and He'll Be Warm for the Rest of His Life.
Europe lost a satelite a few years ago that was supposed to measure ice melt. Little more than a big coincidence. Any more data on botched climate monitoring missions?
"There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell them." ~ Louis Armstrong
Does anyone else see the irony that with all the places it could have crashed, it hit a big hunk of ice...
Actually I don't think the Chinese would have nearly as much to benefit as from the Canadians (who are always looking for ways to defrost!)
It didn't fail its mission, it failed its launch. If its mission was to launch then it failed its mission. However, its mission was to monitor CO2, which it never got a chance to begin.
Orbital won part of the ISS re-supply contract. But, l-mart and boeing are suing saying that they had a better plan. In point of fact, NASA said that the alternative had better points, etc. Now, Orbital loses an important sat. This may well lose that contract for Orbital or at least allow that partial contract to be cut in half (1/4 of total to each). To be honest, I would not mind seeing that happen. We NEED multiple launchers.
But if that happens, I would love to see Boeing, L-Mart, or even the US buy a bigelow station and attach it to the ISS. If we buy one at costs, it helps bigelow move forward quickly, while expanding the ISS inexpensively. The important thing is that it would get bigelow moving forward which would allow all 3 launch companies to survive and thrive.
I prefer the "u" in honour as it seems to be missing these days.
No, ICBM's would have functioned correctly.
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I can think of a hundred reasons someone would want this to fail. I was thinking about that yesterday when I learned about this launch and what it would be doing. What better solid proof that Co2 is causing an issue.
Yes were now screwed because there is apparently no backup satellite and it will take years (Conveniently) to build a new one.
I don't know if its really different or whatever, but Japan has a satellite they managed to get off the earth that sounds like its going to do about the same thing. http://www.jaxa.jp/projects/sat/gosat/index_e.html
As one who does not buy into the "man made" global warming hoax I note that the attempted launch had a "carbon footprint" bigger than the Goreacle's.
When those who keep preaching the global warming hysteria start ACTING like it's a real crisis (by giving up their limos, huge houses, and private jets, which generate more pollution in a year than I will in my lifetime) then I'll start taking them seriously.
It's a shame about the satellite though, if it'd taken an honest assessment it would have proven that nature generates far FAR more C02 than does human activity.
Corporatism != Free Market
CO2 is plant food.
Did it fail because the global warming zealots deep down knew they were full of sh*t and sabotaged the satellite to keep the hoax going? --- Or --- Did it fail because the anti-global-warming crew didn't want more "data" to be added to the debate? Personally, I would laugh my ass off if the satellite used a nuclear power source. That's irony.
NASA has delayed it three weeks due to concern about a valve with a bad history. Some NSA engineers are demanding a redesign which take another half year. At worst this could end the Shuttle program as Obama looks for lemons to cut. At best the Hubble servicing mission is probably a goner due to schedule delays.
The satellite probably landed on some poor unsuspecting family of penguins. NASA has thus officially killed more wildlife than global warming.
Suck my dong for being so blatantly gay as to pull up that quote from Contact. I am not going to click that link, so if it actually was not from Contact, I apologize.
Flat-earthers for the win.
"I guess the moral of the story is, don't paint your airship with rocket fuel." -- Addison Bain
You'd think by now, after dozens of extremely expensive failures over the past several decades, that we'd have figured out that rockets tend to be relatively unreliable beasts and it's best to hedge your bets. NASA should make it standard operating procedure to build at least two copies of every satellite. Heck, build them smaller and build four of them. Launch them separately. If you lose one, adjust a little and continue. Just because NASA's attempt at "better, cheaper, faster" didn't have a very high success rate doesn't mean the idea isn't possible. They just need to realize that no matter how much effort they spend on constructing their satellite absolutely perfectly, it can still end up fish food. So spend some effort on building it, sure, use a clean room and bunny suits, fine, but build MORE of the same satellite. Let's develop some true assembly skill, instead of making every single mission a one-off and starting over from scratch each and every time.
Just asking...
...3 ...2 ...1
I know what's wrong with it: It's a Ford. You know what they say "Ford" stands for, don't you? It stands for "Fix It Again, Tony."
... or we'd be free of his stupid imaginary manmade global warming agenda now.
the leftist agenda sabotaged the ship to be sure that the global warming myth not be challenged by 'data' or 'jerks from nasa'!!
Come on, Orbital Sciences, it's not like this is rocket science! Oh wait...
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
Since you're not a doctor, and you have to trust them, if they tell you that you have a serious illness, what exactly are you going to do about it?
Since you're not a pilot, and you have to trust them, if they tell you that the plane is going down, what exactly are you going to do about it?
Since you're not a general, and you have to trust them, if they tell you that the war is lost, what exactly are you going to do about it?
Since you're not a climatologist, and you have to trust them, if they tell you that the carbon dioxide levels are increasing, what exactly are you going to do about it, snowflake?
Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. Do your part because there's nothing else you can do. (except worry, apparently.) The powers that be, who you have to trust, are doing their jobs just as they have been all along.
Is because it self-adjusts very quickly.
http://www.realclimate.org/index.php?p=142
If your water vapor gets out of whack, it adjusts back to a normal ratio very quickly.
Not so for CO2!
CryoSat was an ESA satellite that was destroyed on launch October 8, 2005 when the second stage engine of a modified Russian SS-19 ICBM did not cut-off as planned. CryoSat was proposed in 1998 by Duncan Wingham of University College London. The satellite's planned three year mission was to survey natural and human driven changes in the cryosphere on Earth. It was designed to provide much more accurate data on the rate of change of the surface elevation of the polar ice sheets and sea ice thickness. It was the first ESA Earth Sciences satellite selected through open, scientific competition.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CryoSat
You're quite right, a Taurus is meant for shooting down things, not launching them.
In a polar orbit like OCO would have been in, the satellite would regularly cover the entire earth's surface. The rovers had an expected range of a few hundred meters. Even the amazing dozen kilometers they've covered over their extended missions leaves each still within the major geological features they landed in.
The insurance policy of having a second rover for moderate (not minimal) cost was one factor. I think it increased the costs by about 25%, and put considerable extra strain on the team to get the second unit built in time for the launch window. Launch cost alone was an extra 10% or so.
The other factor was that a second rover allowed them to conduct similar studies of a much different location on Mars, giving the scientists good comparisons of very different geographies. It turned out to be a good thing, too. Opportunity, which landed second, has arguably accomplished much more than Spirit, in large part due to its location. That's not to say that Spirit hasn't also been extremely successful, but Opportunity has tended to steal the spotlight since day 1.
A second copy of OCO would have been producing nearly identical data as the first. Given that this mission was already under pressure just from politics, spending extra money to build a complete spare was unlikely.
However, NASA still has the design work done. We'll have to see if they decide to build a replacement, or simply settle for data from the related Japanese Greenhouse Gasses Observing Satellite launched last month.
I love when "color" reporters confuse information with intelligence. The morning pretty girls and boys on all the news channels are pretty to look at, but need to get back to reporting news, not attempting to interpret it. Just read the facts, not interpretation, please.
The blond Fox girl, Gretchen Carlson, is so religious I find it offensive. She was a Miss USA/America, I think. Just the facts please.
The weekend CNN girl is so HOT that I'd really don't care what she says, provided she wears those short skirts. She became famous with the Columbia breakup over Texas - she happened to be the er "reporter" on the scene. Just the facts please, but keep wearing those skirts!
The daily HN girl is cute, but I can't stand the friendly chit chat she has to have with everyone and us. I hate when she adds "get aload of this" and starts reading a story. Just the facts please.
The nigh time lawyer bitches - why would I want to see an unattractive woman complaining about everything that someone else did wrong for an hour every night. Or following a person around for 6 weeks, stalking them since they are a "suspect" in some case.
Remember when a story broke a few years ago and **every** news outlet said, "holding out hope against hope."? Complete nonsense. What does that mean? Fox, CNN, HN, ABC, CBS, and NBC all used the exact phrase. http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=com.ubuntu:en-US:unofficial&hs=rKh&q=%22holding+out+hope+against+hope%22&start=10&sa=N Yawn.
umm...never mind.
The fall of this satellite into the ocean might wake up the Cloverfield monster... again...
Not implying anything, but has anyone checked to see where Dick Cheney was this morning?
and thinking measuring co2 from space is more exacting than any terrestrial based methodology of which is ongoing and has proven GW is more politics than science means...
FAIL
How apropos
back to your regularly scheduled GW fear mongering and psuedo science in 3...2...1
anyone know is there any sort of insurance that organizations with satellite needs could purchase? It seems that failures like this aren't infrequent and bankers could come up with something.
I can't wait till my broker trys to sell me Shuttle Malfunction Swaps, peddling them as safe alternatives to a money market.
100*180/280 % approximately.
Or if you're including the carbon cycle, well, there's no cycle for fossil fuels. They don't turn back into oil as fast as we burn it. Yet leaves in the north die off and leaves in the south grow anew, swapping the carbon about. And a cycle is made.
Where's the 17 Gt of fossil fuel each year going???
Waaayyyy back when the popular media got global cooling confused with global warming.
Is it just my observation, or are there way too many stupid people in the world?
Seems to me right now you have a bird without a ground team and a ground team without a bird.
Just sayin...
My ism, it's full of beliefs.
"declared a contingency"--is that really NASA-speak for "oops"? i declare jargon fail
Media that can be recorded and distributed can be recorded and distributed.
-kfg
Truth being so fragile and all, a balance is all we can hope to achieve.
My ism, it's full of beliefs.
.
Time to review the s/w I say.
I have an old Ford Probe. Talk about cramped. To cram all that crap under the hood of such a streamlined body. Not sure how I'm going to get my fingers on the rear O2 sensor/connector that needs to be replaced soon. I hate being unable to follow wiring even with a flashlight from both above and below the car.
"You saved 1968." - Ms. Valerie Pringle to the crew of Apollo 8
Debris from (almost) space all over The Mountains of Madness...
;-)
If they've awakened what old H.P. thinks they did, climate is going to be the least of this world's worries.
Heading for Antarctica, they probably mean R'lyeh.
(No, not exactly this site's corporate overlord...)
Or was it just Colonel Jack O'Neil suffering yet another spell ADHD in his icy chair?
because he knows perfectly well that there is no warming, that the CO2 releases of Mauna Loa skew the data, and of course, he is the chief fudger-of-data for the warming hoax group.