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Guide to Slashdot

calibanDNS pointed us to unOfficial H4X0r'$ Guide to Slashdot. This is one of the funniest bits I've read in recent memory. It's nice to get a good belly laugh on a friday afternoon, and this one will provide it.

227 comments

  1. firzt pozt!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2

    three in one week! muhahahahahhahahahha

    1. Re:firzt pozt!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2

      Guys.. This is probably the first time this person has been "on topic". And well, he does have a point..

    2. Re:firzt pozt!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      :) YEAH, moderate tha *REAL* firz+ POz+ up!

    3. Re:firzt pozt!!! by DAVEO · · Score: 0
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      cjk weo3fE#
      dj32qiorekj 2qlrekmq32dm3q,.wdm3wq,.

      fd32qjkrl32mqk

      flo kfjd32q rm2kq;lem2
      --
      -DAVEO
    4. Re:firzt pozt!!! by DAVEO · · Score: 1
      sorry, daveo had to try some things too ;0)

      does anyone know how exactly /. will take out the "(score:x)" field, and maybe if there are any escape characters to thwart it?

      the "score" would be a link in thread mode, anyway, so it would not appear to have the desired effect, unless an ending anchor tag would be used, which is impossible

      --
      -DAVEO
    5. Re:firzt pozt!!! by BoneMachine · · Score: 1

      How insanely unfortunate...it's almost like rewarding the lusers @ work for being dumb. Heh, although reading that reminded me of someone who used to work @ with me. He called himself Lotek, and was a l337 h4X0r. He got busted by the FBI whilst at work, for attempting to hack into his school.

      And they say that there's no $Deity.
      Heh.

      -=b=-

      --
      "I wasn't born with enough middle fingers"
    6. Re:firzt pozt!!! by -C-O-W- · · Score: 0

      THAT WAS THE FIRST PIZZOST!$@#

      you are fucking ereet my man

      PROCEED...
      - c o w

  2. Repeat!! by pq · · Score: 2
    Whoa, this was in yesterday's quickies! This is getting out of hand - we really need that "query-is-link-a-repeat" function going...

    --
    "I will take the Ring," he said, "though I do not know the way."
    1. Re:Repeat!! by j+a+w+a+d · · Score: 1

      And its long been part of Issue9mm's (the author's) signature.


      i dont display scores, and my threshhold is -1. post accordingly.

      --
      i dont display scores, and my threshhold is -1. post accordingly.
      Discuss /. policies
    2. Re:Repeat!! by Issue9mm · · Score: 3

      Actually, I read the quickies yesterday, and didn't see it. Granted, it's been part of my sig for awhile now, but I just checked yesterday's quickies, and didn't see it again. Maybe I'm missing something tho...

  3. Firewall blocks link by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Could someone post that page, or put it up at a mirror, I can't get to it because of firewall

    1. Re:Firewall blocks link by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      MODERATE THIS UP!

      I *hate* the frickin' "Offtopic" fiends on slashdot! If you can't get to the link for the *story*, I'd say that's pretty ON TOPIC.

      Read the frickin' moderator's guide again, or have your rights for it revoked permanently.

      It says: "It's better to moderate *UP* the good comments, and reserve judgement on the other ones, except for the really bad grits-pouring, statue making, obviously offtopic, first-post-claiming, natalie portman is my bitch wishing, 31337 d00d posing, clueless posts, which deserve to be moderated down to -837,425."

      Paraphrasing, of course. :)

      Or did you read the story and think that *that* was the Moderator's guide? Now it's all starting to make sense to me...

      ---
      Posting anonymously out of moderator mistrust.

    2. Re:Firewall blocks link by Issue9mm · · Score: 4

      Here is a link for the mirror I've got up. I anticipated the slashdot effect, but not that.

    3. Re:Firewall blocks link by TheFitz · · Score: 1

      Thank you VERY much.

      --
      "Out, OUT! You demons of STUPIDITY!" - Dogbert
  4. Script kiddies are r3tard3d by net-fu · · Score: 1

    Not my demographic-- been a long time since I was 14. H4Xor's.. whatever. Get a l1f3.

    1. Re:Script kiddies are r3tard3d by rizzo · · Score: 1

      I believe it's spelled "r3t4rd3d".

      Is there an official alphabet page somewhere so I can learn their "k3wl" language?

      --

      "More organs means more human." - Zim

    2. Re:Script kiddies are r3tard3d by pb · · Score: 1

      I always use lex and other useful tools to generate my elite speak. Of course, my scripts could use some updating. Get the b1ff filter, and have fun from there. I also do simple character replacement, and random letter capitalization. I'm sure this could all be unified, redone in perl, or whatever your little heart desires as well.

      Or, alternatively:

      i @lwAYz u5e LEX + OtHuR kool +oolz tO GeNur8 my elI+E zPE@k, Of cOuRzE, MY zKr1P+z CouLD u5e 5uM uPdAtINg! Get tHe B1fF FILtuR, + gOt FuN fruM +hEY'RE. 1 Al5O DO 5iMpLe ch@RAc+uR RepLACument, + r@nDom lettuR CApIt@L1z@zhun. Im 5Hur th15 COuld AL B uNIF1ed, RedONE iN PurL, or wu+EVuR uR Lit+lE hERe+ DEz1Rez Az wEL


      ---
      pb Reply or e-mail rather than vaguely moderate.

      --
      pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate.
    3. Re:Script kiddies are r3tard3d by Rheingold · · Score: 1

      I think you mean "r474rd00d"


      Wil
      --
      Internet Meta-Resources:

      --
      Wil
      wiki
    4. Re:Script kiddies are r3tard3d by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      When did you suddenly grow up and develop brains....2/3 of the people on /. were 'once' script kiddies...at least the ones that were smart enuff :) Where does that leave u ??

    5. Re:Script kiddies are r3tard3d by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      po57459

  5. Let's follow this guide for once... by Enoch+Root · · Score: 1
    I think we should all follow this guide to the letter for this particular trend. Unfortunately, it's too late for me to claim first post, and I forgot to post as an Anonymous Coward, thus being susceptible to karma moderation. I also have a spellchecker in my head which prevents me to write l3y3k +|-|33s n B 4 tru 31337!!!!!!!!

    Life is tough. If only I had a gimmick like the statue or the grits guys, I could be a true h4ck3r...

  6. Okay, now I'm frightened by Powers · · Score: 5
    No, not because of the article. I'm frightened because I'm starting to be able to read '1337 5p34k' without having to think about it.

    Now that's scary.

    Powers&8^]

    --

    Powers&8^]

    1. Re:Okay, now I'm frightened by The+Good+Reverend · · Score: 1

      I was more frightened to learn I could type in said "1337 5p34k" without thinking about it. 3 and e are pretty close on the qwerty, ya know...

      The Good Reverend

  7. if only.. by RoLlEr_CoAsTeR · · Score: 1

    (as i'm sure many of us are thinking) people'd get the point and actually give up that kind of stuff. geez!

    In the Flamebait section, they could have added "be the Devil's Advocate," "bring taboo subjects into play," and.. this could have been a whole other enumerated item in itself: "Post as much and as often as possible to every article that you have time to do." The more Anonymous Cowards in this world, the better!

    --

    Insert mind here.
    1. Re:if only.. by SEE · · Score: 1

      Hey! Every 31337 h4kk3r should be a d3v111's 4dv0ca73! 411 h4i1 5474N!
      ----------

      Seriously, however:

      If you have a rational argument, and it isn't one of those topics that generate more heat than light, then posting a position different than that of most posters is informative. And, in my experience, it's also more likely than an equally-well written "me-too" variant to get some karma points.

  8. CLITSAQNUGGETZ by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    EFNET #RIT BISHES WILL H4X0R 0FF Y0UR CLITSAQS YOU NUGGETZ. W3 AR3 THE SCR1PT K1DD1EZ FOR DA NEW MILLENIUM! WERD UP SIGMA, SPUDNUTS, KRON, TARMAC, ABBSTRACT, APHEX, APROPOS, CISCO, DKL, DREADNUT, ADAMF, KA0S, GRANK, POSITIVE, VEGAN AND GODLIKE.

  9. FIRST POST!!!! :) by toast0 · · Score: 4

    the authors of this article are obviously microsoft sympathizers trying to get us to screw up slashdot for the powers of freeBSD!!!!!!

    oops forgot to hit post anonymously

    1. Re:FIRST POST!!!! :) by pb · · Score: 3
      ASCII ART RULES!

      To the guy who tried to do this down below:
      sed s/\ \ /'\ \&'nbsp\;/g


      ------ ----- ---- --- -------
      | | | \ / \ |
      | | | / \ |
      |-- | ---- --- |
      | | | \ \ |
      | | | \ / |
      | ----- - \ \--- -

      ---- --- --- ------- !!!
      | \ / \ / \ | !!!
      | / | | \ | !!!
      |--- | | --- | !!!
      | | | \ | !
      | \ / / |
      | --- \--- | O

      ---
      pb Reply or e-mail rather than vaguely moderate.

      --
      pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate.
    2. Re:FIRST POST!!!! :) by Denor · · Score: 2

      You know, people are going to look at your past comments and say "FIRST POST!!!! - score 4? WTF?"

      Heh. If nothing else, this article gives us a chance to really confuse people looking at comments a week from now.

      --
      -Denor
    3. Re:FIRST POST!!!! :) by toast0 · · Score: 1

      some moderator (who probably didn't read the article and thought this forum was overly trollish) marked me down as a troll though


      i didnt' realize about that though, bonus points for confusing the heck out of people?

    4. Re:FIRST POST!!!! :) by Cid+Highwind · · Score: 1

      Yeah, and this thread is gonna screw up meta-moderation in about a week.
      "What sort of a f***in moron scored FIRST POST!!! up?"

      *clicking the "unfair" button*

      --
      0 1 - just my two bits
    5. Re:FIRST POST!!!! :) by nevets · · Score: 1

      This is probably the first time that a "First Post" is considered on-topic, non-flame bait, AND non-trollish. This is kinda funny!

      Look at me, replying to a (Score:4) comment so I can be seen ;-)

      Damn, Forgot to post anonymously!
      Steven Rostedt

      --
      Steven Rostedt
      -- Nevermind
  10. Fur57 Po57 $ucKa$ by AllynKC · · Score: 0

    Fur57 Po57 $ucKa$

    Couldn't resist ... besides, the article says to post that. Oh, wait - I'm using correct grammar - DAMN! There goes that Karma marketing magnet.

  11. FIRST POST!!! by Mendax+Veritas · · Score: 1

    Well, not really, but nobody else has claimed it yet... I could parse most of the silly words, but 1337 got past me. (My fault for being over 30, I guess.) What is it?

    1. Re:FIRST POST!!! by Pyrofreak · · Score: 1

      1337... as in 31337
      leet and eleet

      --
      "If we are unwilling to be aware of the dark, we cannot see the light" -- John Cowan
    2. Re:FIRST POST!!! by jetpack · · Score: 1

      Well, not really, but nobody else has claimed it yet... I could parse most of the silly words, but 1337 got past me. (My fault for being over 30, I guess.) What is it?

      elite -> eleet -> 'leet -> 1337

      Get it? :)

    3. Re:FIRST POST!!! by mwittenstein · · Score: 1

      1337 = leet = eleet = elite = wannabe = thought the movie "Hackers" defined their generation = people with subscriptions to 2600 who don't understand 90 percent of all the articles and send letters asking how they can get credit card numbers = kids with keyboards who need to be spanked.

    4. Re:FIRST POST!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It translates to 'leet', in a surreal sort of way. It's a short form of 'elite', which is how warez traders used to identify themselves, back before pirated programs were called 'warez'. Over time it has morphed into its present form. It will undoubtedly morph again soon.

      It's part of the whole mystique, man. If only 12 people on the planet can understand you when you write... well, ya just gotta be 'in'. If more than about 30 can figure you out, then you're getting stale and need a new vocabulary.

      "How can we be in, if there is no outside?" -- Peter Gabriel

    5. Re:FIRST POST!!! by Zulfiya · · Score: 2

      >>I could parse most of the silly words, but 1337 got past me. (My fault for being over 30, I guess.) What is it?

      Don't worry. I'm under 30, and I had to think it through.

      Near as I can tell 1-L, 3=E, 4=A, 5=S, 7=T, 8="ate", 0=O, and $=S. No doubt there are others.

      So 1337 is LEET, which is short for "elite", you know?

      *sigh* I remember when all the silly typists were still looking for \-Rad warz, d00d. All these young hipsters are just making me feel so old!

      --
      -- I'm not evil, I'm ... differently motivated!
    6. Re:FIRST POST!!! by bungalow · · Score: 1

      kids with keyboards who need to be spanked.

      As opposed to geeks with keyboards who want to be spanked?
      _______________________________

  12. Possible additions to the h4x0rz guide by pabs · · Score: 5
    • Gotta have something about selecting all of the modular slashboxes for your user account, just so you can drag slashdot to a screaming halt and waste other lusers time.

    • Don't forget the HUGE cryptic geek blocks or arbitrarily complex self-decrypting perl code that prints "Hi Mom!" when executed. Use this as your signature.

    • Post everythign as html formatted, and leave an unterminated font modifier tag at the begining of the message.

    • use gratuitous

      <BR>

      tags to make your

      document seem really long (and therefore important)

    • graduly hvae the spellnign and grammar deterate by arbitrly omitng vwls nd missplng wrdz.

    • use lots of cryptic abbreviateions and assume people understand what you're talking about.

    • don't justify any of your arguments. if someone responds asking you to support your statements, respond by posting 200 anonymous messages making derogatory comments about the poster's mother.



    -- rot13 my email address for the real thing
    --

    Odds of being killed by lightning and winning the lottery in the same day: 1 in 2^55

    1. Re:Possible additions to the h4x0rz guide by pabs · · Score: 1

      use the 120 char max as a luser exploit by allowing it to partially mutilate an anchor tag. this should screw up slashdot for everyone, and make you look uber 31337.



      -- rot13 my email address for the real thing

      --

      Odds of being killed by lightning and winning the lottery in the same day: 1 in 2^55

    2. Re:Possible additions to the h4x0rz guide by Issue9mm · · Score: 2

      Thanks a heap pabs, I'll add that in as soon as I'm done getting slashdotted...

    3. Re:Possible additions to the h4x0rz guide by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Don't forget the stone teens and other natalie posts. I bet you can post then more quickly than the moderators can send then into oblivion. And that would be 5Up3r 31337.

    4. Re:Possible additions to the h4x0rz guide by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This is funny (score 2) you make me laugh.

    5. Re:Possible additions to the h4x0rz guide by interiot · · Score: 1
      More ideas... reply to me.

      [ Reply To This | Parent ]

      Just remember check those URLs!

  13. Heh heh heh by c-A-d · · Score: 1

    not much more to say than that...

    Had a good chuckle, thanks guys!

    --
    some karma... and kinda lukewarm about it.
  14. by webslacker · · Score: 1

    Testing, testing...

  15. Re:First Post Fiesta!! by Heggsy · · Score: 2

    You know what scares me?

    I'm finding it easier and easier to read 1337-5p33k. I need a long holiday somewhere where there aren't any computers.

    *shudder*

  16. They had one good point... by Travoltus · · Score: 4


    "but all the 1337357 know that all the REAL moderation is done within the first 5 minutes or so."

    Compare this to http://slashdot.org/moderation.shtml:

    Post early:
    If an article has over a certain number of posts on it already yours is less likely to be moderated. This is, less likely both statistically (there are more to choose from) and due to positioning (as a moderator I have to actually find your post waaay at the end of a long list.)


    Sometimes the truth is best told in jest.....

    (And no I am *not* advocating the stuff they say on that page....lol I read all the way to the bottom and my soul will NOT go to AOL!!)

    --
    --- Grow a pair, liberals... stop letting the Republicans bully you!
    1. Re:They had one good point... by Gurlia · · Score: 2

      On a related note... if the previous article has lots of posts and is quickly increasing, it usually means you have a slightly longer time to play around with newer articles (as most people would be sluggin' out flamewars in that popular article, and the moderators would take some time before they moved on to newer articles.) Quick, grab the chance! :-)

      --
      mikre he sophia he tou Mikrosophou.
  17. Unofficial? by Star+Traveller · · Score: 1
    If that is the unofficial guide, we should have an official H4X0r'$ Guide to Slashdot.

    Step 1: Hack Microsoft

    --
    -----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK----- Version: 3.1 GCS/M/Sd?s-:a---->?c++UL+++P++++L++++ E+++W+++N+K-w---M-PSY+t+5?XtvbDI++
  18. Fur57 Po57 by lhand · · Score: 1

    Free Kevin!
    Micro$oft 5ux5!
    Use FreeBSD!
    Go Red Socks!
    ... uh, nevermind. I can't keep this up.

  19. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Your wrong completely!! You microsoft-person-bsd-lu5er you Go boil you bottom

  20. somebody please help me out here? by Stalemate · · Score: 1

    Where is the tutorial/HOWTO for reading all numletters?

    I must not be a 1337 anything because I can't even read it Well, maybe I am. You can be something without knowing how to read it. Take 'illiterate' as an obvious example (unless you are illiterate, then I don't know what to tell you and you wouldn't know what I told you anyway).

    Back to the point -- I have been able to figure out what almost everything else means, but I think it's the 1 and the 7 that are throwing me off.

    I need some translations please!!!

    I can't read 31337 either for obvious reasons.

    I was able to figure out what 5p34k was just fine.

    PEACE

    1. Re:somebody please help me out here? by TheFitz · · Score: 1

      1 is for l
      7 is for t
      so 1337 is leet and 31337 is eleet. They consider themselves top hackers because they can type like that.

      --
      "Out, OUT! You demons of STUPIDITY!" - Dogbert
    2. Re:somebody please help me out here? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      1 = L
      3 = E
      4 = A
      5 = S
      7 = T

      so, 1337 is leet
      31337 is eleet (pronounced elite)

      1337 5p34k would be leet speak, ie, messing up your typing so non 1337 people can't read it.

      of couse, there are many many more subs, but this should get you going. i would assume most people that use 1337 5p34k, haven't read a howto to learn it. i am not sure there are official rules, you can just make it up as you go along.

      (hmmm, reading down, you get least... odd. :-) i wonder what the meaning of that is. )

  21. Score 3, Interesting by Pike · · Score: 3

    I liked that trick best...

    --Birds take off at sunrise. On the opposite side of the world, they are landing
    at sunset. This causes the earth to spin on its axis.

  22. Re:WHOA Check me out! by webslacker · · Score: 1

    Looks like if you put a fake score in your subject, it deletes the header on the comment... Hmm...

  23. Something's missing ... by Pathetic+Coward · · Score: 3

    No Katz flames ...

  24. Score 3, Insightful by datarealm · · Score: 0

    Did it work?? Finally, I have a guide getting my posts moderated up. It's amazing that it has taken so long for such a useful FAQ to be created on the internet.

  25. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    so is this what they mean? this is good, right?

  26. Sc0re: 5 Insightfil by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Hmm, does it work if you mispell it tho?

  27. by Otto · · Score: 2

    Really screwy...

    Perhaps it's just deleting the (Score: 2) thing to keep people from mucking it about..
    ---

    --
    - Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set him on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
  28. Score 3 (Insightful) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Too bad they don't talk about Natalie Portman posts. Man that's an 1337 way to get flambaited!

  29. by Otto · · Score: 5

    Well, this at least exposed a bug on /.

    The subject of this message was supposed to be "(Score: -80,000)" without the quotes. But as you can see /. makes it go away entirely, thus leaving nothing to click on in the list. A tad annoying I'd say.

    Obviously it's looking for a (Score: xxx) type of thing at the end of the Subject line, but if there's nothing in front of that, it just leaves an empty subject.

    Still, very funny.


    ---

    --
    - Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set him on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
  30. Dear Slashdot: what about this idea.. by Travoltus · · Score: 1


    For obvious light hearted trollbait stories like this, which I am not against at all, can you disable moderation, or not count moderation in these areas against posters? One wouldn't want to lose their karma points because they let their hair down here and their remark came across as flamebait instead of funny. :)

    I'd just flag this kind of article as "un moderateable" so while people can moderate here, it won't count in general because of the nature of the story....

    Thanks!

    --
    --- Grow a pair, liberals... stop letting the Republicans bully you!
  31. N07 700 1337 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    H4X F1R3W411Z

    1. Re:N07 700 1337 by TheFitz · · Score: 1

      I set this firewall up, and the last friggen thing I would want to do would be hack it. I just wish I hadn't shown my boss that little filtration function...grrrr...

      --
      "Out, OUT! You demons of STUPIDITY!" - Dogbert
  32. Completely unnecessary by Pike · · Score: 1

    Moderators know to smile a little, just as they do when moderating one of those goofy polls...

    JD

  33. Score 3, Insightful by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Blah

  34. blah, blah, blah by Wah · · Score: 1

    ------ ----- ---- --- -------
    | | | \ / \ |
    | | | / \ |
    |-- | ---- --- |
    | | | \ \ |
    | | | \ / |
    | ----- - \ \--- -

    ---- --- --- ------- !!!
    | \ / \ / \ | !!!
    | / | | \ | !!!
    |--- | | --- | !!!
    | | | \ | !
    | \ / / |
    | --- \--- | O

    (man I love Fridays!!,)

    (doh, I guess slash doesn't like all my spaces :(, oh well, this was supposed to be a REAL BIG FIRST POST, screw it, it's still Friday)

    --
    +&x
    1. Re:blah, blah, blah by dutky · · Score: 1

      Ok, how's this:

      ................................................ ...............
      .RRRr..EEEEE....A....L.....L.....Y...Y.......BBB b...III...gGg..
      .R...R.E.......A.A...L.....L.....Y...Y.......B.. .B...I...G...G.
      .R...R.E......A...A..L.....L.....Y...Y.......B.. .B...I...G.....
      .RRRR..EEE....A...A..L.....L......Y.Y........BBB b....I...G..GG.
      .R.R...E......AAAAA..L.....L.......Y.........B.. .B...I...G...G.
      .R..R..E.....A.....A.L.....L.......Y.........B.. .B...I...G...G.
      .R...R.EEEEE.A.....A.LLLLL.LLLLL...Y.........BBB B...III...GGG..
      ................................................ ...............
      .FFFFF..III...RRRr...sSs...TTTTT.......PPPp...oO o...sSs..TTTTT.
      .F.......I....R...R.S...S....T.........P...P.O.. .O.S...S...T...
      .F.......I....R...R.S........T.........P...P.O.. .O.S.......T...
      .FFF.....I....RRRR...SSs.....T.........PPPP..O.. .O..SSs....T...
      .F.......I....R.R.......S....T.........P.....O.. .O.....S...T...
      .F.......I....R..R..S...S....T.........P.....O.. .O.S...S...T...
      .F......III...R...R..SSS.....T.........P......OO O...SSS....T...
      ................................................ ...............

      Of course, it's not so easy if you try to enter something wider than the /. text box.

  35. TRANSLATION. by mistalinux · · Score: 1
    1 = L, or I
    3 = E
    4 = A
    5 = S
    6 = G
    7 = T
    8 = B
    / |_| = U
    |) = D

    Any others I am missing?

    The K may not have looked right with HTML tags..

    --
    Sosumi. just kidding. DONT!
    1. Re:TRANSLATION. by pb · · Score: 1

      Yeah. Lots. And it doesn't translate backwards properly, either.

      @ = A
      0 = O
      + = T
      Z = S

      ... and many others. And once you start using DOS high ASCII, ASCII art letters, or ANSI, you're really incomprehensible. :)

      ________________ __
      |//_\|\|\ / //\ /_
      /_\_/|\|//_//_//_

      ---
      pb Reply or e-mail rather than vaguely moderate.

      --
      pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate.
  36. 5core 5: Insightful by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Look at me, 56343 P057

  37. They forgot ... by LurkingWeasel · · Score: 2

    Always mention how cool the subject would be on a Beowulf Cluster.

    1. Re:They forgot ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Or, as a more general rule, turn every comment you post into a rant on the same inane subject (GNULIX, petrification, Natalie Portman, etc.) which will become your trademark. Bonus points if you've been kicked off (or caused to be shut down) other forums by prattling on about the same subject.

  38. Th34 f0r50t t0 m3nt10n... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    All posts should include: Hemos can't spell for shit!

  39. Look out! by AllynKC · · Score: 1

    Uh-oh, now you've done it, you explained it to the masses.

    Now 1337-5p34k is going to feel the slashdot affect. Too many people can read it, so time to accelerate the word morphing process. And there's nothing more dangerous (?) than having the entire h4X0r community irritated at you for explaining their language.

  40. F1R5T P057 ! ! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    yiHa! F1RS7 P0S7 BoNaNZa ! i'M THe aNnhmos CWRaD aLWys F1RsT! WiND0wz R0015! THe GPL SuXX !! N0T To F0rGeT ThAt WannNNabeeHaXorish OS L|NuX!

    Oh! And did you KnOW CmDRTaC0 ReaLLy iS a FbSD loVeR?? ! FLaMe HiM!!

  41. { by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    {Score: 5} Insightful

    Testing, 1, 2, 3...

  42. (5cOrE: -8O,oOO) by pb · · Score: 2

    You're obviously not doing it right. :)
    ---
    pb Reply or e-mail rather than vaguely moderate.

    --
    pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate.
  43. Copyright? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Did anyone catch the copyright notice at the bottom of the page?

    Copyright 1994-1999 Issue9mm

    Damn, he's been working on that a long time! :)

    1. Re:Copyright? by Issue9mm · · Score: 2

      Actually, the site has been up in various forms since 1994. That document itself was written over the course of about 30 minutes. Strangely enough, most of the junk I did a long time ago isn't on that incarnation of the site, but I'm working on it.

  44. Keyboard B&D? by DragonHawk · · Score: 1

    kids with keyboards who need to be spanked.

    What good would spanking a keyboard do?

    (Yah, yah, I know, I'm tired...)

    --

    dragonhawk@iname.microsoft.com
    I do not like Microsoft. Remove them from my email address.
    1. Re:Keyboard B&D? by Rheingold · · Score: 1

      "who" refers to people, i.e., kids. "what would refer to keyboards.

      ID-10T Error: Are you sure it's plugged in?


      Wil
      --
      Internet Meta-Resources:

      --
      Wil
      wiki
  45. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    (Score; 6, Interesting)

    NO CARRIER

  46. Snoogans by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    THE FIRST POST MASTAH STRIKES AGAIN!

    I'm Th3 b4Ad357 m07h3r FscK3r 0n th3 fScKiNg pl4ne7.

    I g07 a st34ming h07 b0w1 0f gRiTz d0wN mY p4N7z, 4Nd 4 n4KeD N4741i3 P0r7m4N In My FsCkInG B4S3M3N7.

    Ph34r My KrAd 31337 h4x0r sKilLz, B33333333347Ch3z!

    1. Re:Snoogans by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      P37r1fy Th15, $ucXah!

  47. by betaray · · Score: 1

    Hrm, this in and of itself looks like a bug. Oh well. Just a way to have a little null subject fun!

  48. try this by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    THE MAGNIFICIENT AC SAYS THAT YOU SHOULD POST CRYPTIC MESSAGES IN THE THIRD PERSON USING ALL CAPS!

    AC

    SAYS

    CAN

    ALSO

    DO

    THIS

    AC is tired on writing
    in all caps. He will just use
    LF's in Plain Old Text.

    AC wants to buy Andover stock!

  49. Mirror by Issue9mm · · Score: 3

    It appears that my humble little site is already slashdotted. If anyone else wants to view the site, I've got a mirror of that document here.

    P.S. Thanks to all the people who have posted possible additions to the article. I promise to review them and include (with your permission and credit of course) them in an updated version. Thanks.

  50. f3RsT p0sT!@$!@#@!!@%!!%#@% by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    1 0wn3d j00!!!! j00 g0wt k0q r0t!!!!
    j00 *
    j00 *
    j00 *
    j00 *

  51. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Eat me!

  52. Score -1, Flamebait by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Fur57 Po57 $ucKa$

    I fuck your mom nightly.

    Love,

    Dad

  53. Hunh? by technos · · Score: 1

    So it keeps chopping em, eh?

    --
    .sig: Now legally binding!
  54. Now watch moderators kick into overdrive... by Rexifer · · Score: 1

    Gee, who would have thought that posting a story like this here would have caused so many people to kick off five bagillion "first posts" and "Score 3, Insightful" posts... :)
    I guess everyone's gotta be a comedian.

  55. Re:Fake Scores & Such by belgin · · Score: 3
    Three Ply Reply
    If you can't get the first post (there's lots of 1337 competition y'know), or come in a little too late, another way to get fairly visible to threaded viewers, is to reply, as offtopic as necessary, to the highest scoring post. Yes, there's a chance that that post could be moderated back down, or another be moderated above it, but all the 1337357 know that all the REAL moderation is done within the first 5 minutes or so.

    I wish that this were not so true. I am as guilty of it as anyone else, but the moderators do not usually wait more than half an hour before the topic is "dead". If you don't read the article, make a brilliant post and generally get to the top of the view at the start, you get no karma. Even if a moderator does check the thing "later in the day", (s)he rarely seems to note anything below the top 20-30 articles, so your only prayer of really accumulating karma is to be an obsessive reloader who has on-topic, insightful and witty posts prepared for every possible article on the net.

    I don't like it because I have a job that I try to do too...

    Oh... Wait... Obsessive reloaders aren't supposed to be moderators...

    B. Elgin

    --

    B. Elgin
    "Read at your own risk; feel free to ignore."
  56. You can't find an exploit? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    How pathetic. Give me the IP and I'll make it loose as a goose.

    1. Re:You can't find an exploit? by TheFitz · · Score: 1

      Take your best shot, 207.138.47.66

      --
      "Out, OUT! You demons of STUPIDITY!" - Dogbert
  57. SCORE 4 : 31337 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    bsd andd linux are 0wnd by MS$, i the the one TRUE AC P.S. flamer me not. I AMD w0e7hy

  58. 127.0.0.1 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    That the IP. Do your worst (bitch).

  59. I just have to test this, even if it will add those nasty karma points ... ;-)

    YS

    --
    "Arrr! The laws of science be a harsh mistress." -- Bender
  60. Bug Fixed by Yosemite+Sue · · Score: 1

    Well, it is nice to see that someone fixed that little bug, and quickly!

    :-)

    YS

    --
    "Arrr! The laws of science be a harsh mistress." -- Bender
  61. Another to be included by layne · · Score: 1

    Smack down those marginally worthy posts by replying anonymously with any variety of "Moderate this up" encouraging retallation against this suspect karma-pander.

    Even though the second principal is no karma, some mention of "I know I'll be moderated down for this" disclaimers and qualifiers would be worthwhile.

  62. Mirror, mirror, you'll be owned by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    h00's 7H3 B4DD357 0F 7H3M 411?

  63. F1R5T P057!! Score 812, Troll by fence · · Score: 1

    Woo-Hoo! First post, dud3z!

    FreeBSD Rules!
    Micro$oft Ru13z!

    --
    Interested in the Colorado Lottery or Powerball games?
    check out http://colotto.com
  64. by Pyrrus · · Score: 1

    I h473 h4X0r $P34X.


    dammit! now 40L owns my soul
    < br? they7nbspforgot to mention broken >HTML?

    crap! i forgtogh to poest anonamyuously.

  65. Re:Fake Scores & Such { by belgin · · Score: 1
    Well, the (Score: 3, Interesting) got cut off, so it just looks like I am not following the thread.

    I was testing to see if the Score trick would work if you had a subject.

    B. Elgin

    --

    B. Elgin
    "Read at your own risk; feel free to ignore."
  66. re: by Pope · · Score: 1

    well, it's better than that guy who constantly puts ... as his subject...

    Pope

    --
    It doesn't mean much now, it's built for the future.
  67. Re:[ by belgin · · Score: 1

    Heh, the {Score: 3, Interesting} was cut off after the {. So I am doing one more test to see if it allows "[Score: }", or if we can reliably say that the string "Score: " causes everything after to be cut off.

    B. Elgin

    --

    B. Elgin
    "Read at your own risk; feel free to ignore."
  68. test by DAVEO · · Score: 1

    you can also put only an html tag in the subject, and it will be deleted, leaving a null subject

    --
    -DAVEO
  69. Easter Eggs? by Tom+Christiansen · · Score: 2
    Well, maybe not an Easter egg, per se, but there's an amusingly ironic example of the spelling/grammar glitchery that the article talks about hidden right there in the article itself. Anybody else but me notice it?

    I imagine that this was probably done intentionally as a crafty joke, of course. This begs the quesiton of whether there aren't other subtle, self-referential digs lurking in there for the discerning eye to pull out?

    1. Re:Easter Eggs? by Rheingold · · Score: 1

      Nope, I'm too stupid to see it. Pointers?


      Wil
      --
      Internet Meta-Resources:

      --
      Wil
      wiki
    2. Re:Easter Eggs? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      1337357 ways to post to Slashdot is a nice pun btw, Perl is the one true 1ee7 5p34k

    3. Re:Easter Eggs? by Tom+Christiansen · · Score: 2
      Nope, I'm too stupid to see it. Pointers?
      Why certainly:
      open(STDIN, "-|")&&exec${chr 3*2**3*2>>1}=>-(-(-pe))=>$_
      for(qw)y/a-z/n-za-m/ /oevorq/&&y/z//d))[root,~0&1,tchrist]; exec
      reverse lc
      reverse(substr("LMTH.TODHSALS/MOC.SREVRESEERF.MM9E USSI//:PTTH",1)),
      UVFYE
      ^ "x2345" x2345 ** -(-(-x2345)), PERL
      ^ "<<<4"
      Enjoy. :-)
    4. Re:Easter Eggs? by Rheingold · · Score: 1

      Okay, I see the output. Now, where'd you get this? I didn't see it in the HTML, in the first letters of the sections, etc. Was this supposed to reveal the "cookie" or was this it?

      I don't think I'll even ask about what this code does. It's far beyond what I'll ever understand. Okay, I see what the 'substr' does. Okay, it exec's perl. (Where the heck does 'perl' come from?) Jeez, stuff I've never seen before.

      JAPF, Just Another Perl Flunkie


      Wil
      --
      Internet Meta-Resources:

      --
      Wil
      wiki
    5. Re:Easter Eggs? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The above Perl code is the exact reason that Perl is garbage. It is also reflective of Tom's desire to impress anyone that he can. I know he's still an asshole.

    6. Re:Easter Eggs? by Tom+Christiansen · · Score: 2

      Perl comes from $^X. And he misspelled "whoever" with a spurious "m". Diff the output, and you'll see that I correct that.

    7. Re:Easter Eggs? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What's wrong with "by Microsoft or whomever"? It's "by whom", like "to whom", you know. Saying "by whoever" is wrong.

  70. Score 19, Insightful by Pentagram · · Score: 1

    What about "The page has been slashdotted!"
    As if we hadn't just found that out...

    Oh yeah, and just replying to the real first post so everyone'll read your comment *coughs*.

  71. Using the guide by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    I'm going to use the guide to reiterate my previous rant.
    So moderate this up, that future slashdotters will *really* know what not to do:

    My previous post was in reply to the poor anonymous coward down there who posted a request for the article to be mirrored because he couldn't get to it through a firewall.
    A reasonable request, for which he was moderated to (-1, Offtopic).

    _______________________________________________

    MODERATE THIS UP!

    I *hate* the frickin' "Offtopic" fiends on slashdot! If you can't get to the link for the *story*, I'd say that's pretty ON TOPIC.

    Read the frickin' moderator's guide again, or have your rights for it revoked permanently.

    It says: "It's better to moderate *UP* the good comments, and reserve judgement on the other ones, except for the really bad grits-pouring, statue making, obviously offtopic, first-post-claiming, natalie portman is my bitch wishing, 31337 d00d posing, clueless posts, which deserve to be moderated down to -837,425."

    Paraphrasing, of course. :)

    Or did you read the story and think that it WAS the Moderator's guide? Now it's all starting to make sense to me...

    ---
    Posting anonymously out of moderator mistrust.

    1. Re:Using the guide by Pug · · Score: 1

      Actually, modering you up should be unneeded, because the Moderator Guide clearly requests that moderators should browse at -1 to pick up really badly moderated posts. It's all more fun at -1, anyway.

    2. Re:Using the guide by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I think you just missed the point of my post.

      (rather, if I believed that enough moderators followed the Moderator Guide, I wouldn't be posting this. Check the moderation I mentioned at -1, and see if you agree.)

      And it's all more fun until someone posts eighteen screens of "ajfaskl;jf aioweksdk" and no one moderates it down to -1.

  72. on a serious note... by say-tan · · Score: 4

    [rant] another huge problem (imho) is that some people feel they must reply to every story featured, no matter how little they know about the subject, how obvious, or redundant it is. there are so many posts that just say "haha, that was funny!" or "wow, that's interesting." i think that anyone who reads the feature and/or links can figure out for themselves whether something is funny or not. if the poster wishes to tell someone how funny or interesting the link or story is, he/she shold tell it to someone who hasn't already read it. [/rant]

    --
    Men use thought only to justify their wrong doings, and speech only to conceal their thoughts. -- Voltaire
    1. Re:on a serious note... by B1FF · · Score: 1

      Y0U H4V3 4 PR3TTY G00D P01NT TH3R3, D00D!!!!!!!!!!111
      :WQ
      :wq
      ------ ------ ------
      ALL HA1L B1FF, TH3 M05T 31337 D00D!!!!!1
      ------ ------ ------
      ALL HA1L B1FF, TH3 M05T 31337 D00D!!!!!1

      --
      :WQ
      :wq
      ------ ------ ------
      ALL HA1L B1FF, TH3 M05T 31337 D00D!!!!!1
      ------ ------ -
  73. Re:Jesus saves! by paulbort · · Score: 0

    ...he passes to Gretky! He shoots! He scores!


    "Nuke Gay Whales for Jesus: It's the only way to be sure."

    --
    -- Spring: Forces, coiled again!
  74. I'M A FAT SYS ADMIN by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    hey! the article forgot to mention that the only people who post are fat sys admins who eat linux for breakfast and hate anyone who has done something better with their life!

  75. Re:Jesus saves! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    po57557

  76. frklw3 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    dddmw32q432

  77. 13e7fw2fr3qr32kd3rf3wefwe3 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0


    few ef ew we

    few ef ew we

    few ef ew we

  78. sl45d07 5uckz by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    we all know you linux people just switched from
    windows to show how super-k-r4d leet you are and show off all your new nukes on Irc

  79. Totally missed the Natalie Portman thing... by Croaker · · Score: 1

    Huh, and I thought to be real 1337, ya had to fsck Natalie Portman in every post.

    Not only that, no REAL 1337 would bother posting to slashdot. He'd use his scripts to post for him. He's much too busy looking at pr0n to be bothered.

    Oh, BTW, ZEROTH POST!

  80. Disappointment... by dillon_rinker · · Score: 2

    {tongue in cheek}
    I am SO disappointed - i expected to see some REAL hacker tips - this is a bunch of script kiddie mumbo jumbo. KIDS - download the /. source and reverse engineer what's not up to date; then you'll be a TRUE hacker.
    {/tongue in cheek}

  81. What's wrong with statue-making??? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I, naked and petrified guy, would really like to complain about how you got my hopes up there. Until I got to the "just paraphrasing" part I was really hoping that I'd made it into the new moderator guidelines!

    Oh well.

    Maybe someday!

    Anyway, why is statue-making offtopic? Turning teenage girls to stone is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT THERE IS, or close to it. It's ALWAYS on topic, NO MATTER WHAT.

    The Medusa Realm: http://members.xoom.com/meddie/Medusa

    The Hall of Statuary:
    http://www.oaktree.net/argoforg/

    1. Re:What's wrong with statue-making??? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Hey, you stole my account! ;)

      Sorry, dude. You have definitely carved out a place for yourself in the slashdot hall of fame for silly posting. But I liked MEEPT! better.

      Statue-making isn't offtopic when it's explicitly the subject of the article. It might actually be on topic for this article. Go figure. Just remember that other people will disagree with you as to its importance.

      I know, it's a cruel world. I wish everyone agreed with me on the importance of, say, living, breathing naked chicks who want to hack source code, read science fiction, and watch superhero cartoons. Maybe that's why I read slashdot. :)

  82. Re:Fake Scores & Such (Solution?) by nebby · · Score: 2

    Perhaps Rob could make it so moderation didn't start taking place until either x minutes or x posts (whichever comes first) after an article is posted.

    I think that might be a good way to ensure at least the "Insightful" articles are actually "Insightful" not just first in line with a decent idea.

    --
    --
  83. Last Post by Star+Traveller · · Score: 0
    There is the first post (R4Z3, but why is there not a last post (R4Z3?

    It seems like one of those things that should be, and unlike I57 post (R4Z3, you can regain the title and it stays for a short while

    Keep watching this article until the moment right before it is removed, and you will see my last post in all its glory!

    --
    -----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK----- Version: 3.1 GCS/M/Sd?s-:a---->?c++UL+++P++++L++++ E+++W+++N+K-w---M-PSY+t+5?XtvbDI++
  84. Mirror, mirror... by Robin+Hood · · Score: 5
    Inspiration just struck, I don't know why.

    Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
    What's the largest site of all?
    With articles and posts galore,
    Seeking for the highest (Score: )
    As moderators sift and sort,
    Giving good posts just reward.
    Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
    What's the largest site of all?

    Mirror, mirror, on the 'Net,
    What's the geekiest site yet?
    "Stuff that Matters," "News for Nerds,"
    Aren't just empty slogan words.
    Linux, Windows, BSD,
    All discussed bellig'rently.
    Mirror, mirror, on the 'Net,
    What's the geekiest site yet?

    Yet Slashdot's feared, or so it seems,
    By webmasters of modest means.
    For if there should appear a link
    On Slashdot, then lo! Ere a blink
    Of time should pass, thousands of geeks
    Will click on it. And then, such creaks
    Of servers grinding to a halt:
    Those 404's are Slashdot's fault!

    And so, oh mirror, duplicate
    My page, lest it evaporate.
    For Slashdot linked to it, you know,
    And now my server's awfully slow.

    Hope you enjoyed it.
    -----
    The real meaning of the GNU GPL:

    --
    The real meaning of the GNU GPL:
    "The Source will be with you... Always."
    1. Re:Mirror, mirror... by Wiseleo · · Score: 1

      Nice anthem, now we just need some music and behold for the official slashdot MP3 autodownloaded to you each time you visit :-)
      --
      Leonid S. Knyshov
      Network Administrator

      --
      Leonid S. Knyshov
      Find me on Quora :)
  85. YOU CAN DO STATUES ALSO by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Join me in my crusade to turn all the girls to stone!!!

  86. Y'know... by Issue9mm · · Score: 5

    Y'know guys, I think somehow I'm being robbed by this. I just realized that I wrote the article, and submitted it about a week ago, and didn't get anything. Now CalibanDNS submits it, and HE'S going to get a free T-Shirt. What's the world coming to?!? I would so desperately like a free T-Shirt. It's getting cold where I live, and I don't have anything to wear, since Natalie Portman ate my hot grits.

    1. Re:Y'know... by Runna^Muck · · Score: 1

      submitting your own article is bad karma. of course getting a free t-shirt is good karma. So you'd come out even. Ok, give 'em a t-shirt.

  87. What's wrong with petrification??? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!
    Explain yourself, sucka!!!

  88. TURN JONKATZ TO STONE by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    AND IF HE HAS ANY CUTE FEMALE FRIENDS, CHILDREN, OR RELATIVES, TURN THEM TO STONE ALSO, AND LET ME TOUCH THEIR BUTTOCKS

  89. Re:Jesus saves! by jimmyCarter · · Score: 1

    Should be:
    Jesus Saves! But Gretzky scores on the rebound.

    I'm assuming I'm not going get blasted by the mighty moderators for posting offtopic since this appears to be the only thread to ever show up on /. where anything goes!



    That's what I love about them high-school girls. I get older, they stay the same age... yes they do.
    --Wooderson 1976

    --

    -- jimmycarter
  90. Y0V F0RG07 N4K3D 4ND P37R1F1ED!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Y0V N33D 2 4DD 4 \/\/H013 107 0F 5747V3 57VFF 70 7H3 1157!!!! 4ND M4YB3 GR175 F0R U4R137Y!!!!!

    Seriously now, I bend over backward to write in-depth, meaningful "NAKED AND PETRIFIED" articles for this site, and THIS is the thanks I get? C'mon. Include the Naked and Petrified movement in your list. We need all the help we can get!

    I've had over 100 moderation points spent on my posts so far (20 on the Open Letter to ESR, 34 on my "First Post!!!", and 1 on about 50 other posts). 1 4M 50 31337!!!!

    1. Re:Y0V F0RG07 N4K3D 4ND P37R1F1ED!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      A negative karma whore at his finest!

  91. Re:Fake Scores & Such by SuperKendall · · Score: 2

    If I have moderator access, I try and read from the bottom to move new unreconginzed stuff upward - perhaps if modereators had articles sorted by score ascending instead of descending. It would make your read a little rougher, but then it would also make you more interested in using the moderator points to get back to the standard view...

    --
    "There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
  92. what about last posts? by JimBobJoe · · Score: 4

    First posts have of course overstayed their welcome, but I would be far more impressed by the more disreputable slashdotters if they went through all the archives and added last posts to already closed discussion threads. That would at least take some energy.

    1. Re:what about last posts? by B1FF · · Score: 1

      B33N TH3R3, D0N3 TH4T, D00D!!!!1111
      :WQ
      :wq
      ------ ------ ------
      ALL HA1L B1FF, TH3 M05T 31337 D00D!!!!!1
      ------ ------ ------
      ALL HA1L B1FF, TH3 M05T 31337 D00D!!!!!1

      --
      :WQ
      :wq
      ------ ------ ------
      ALL HA1L B1FF, TH3 M05T 31337 D00D!!!!!1
      ------ ------ -
  93. Y0V F0RG07 N4K3D 4ND P37R1F1ED!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0



    Y0V F0RG07 N4K3D 4ND P37R1F1ED!!!

    Y0V N33D 2 4DD 4 \/\/H013 107 0F 5747V3 57VFF 70 7H3 1157!!!! 4ND M4YB3 GR175 F0R U4R137Y!!!!!

    Seriously now, I bend over backward to write in-depth, meaningful "NAKED AND PETRIFIED" articles for this site, and THIS is the thanks I get? C'mon. Include the Naked and Petrified movement in your list. We need all the help we can get!

    I've had over 100 moderation points spent on my petrification posts so far (20 on the Open Letter to ESR, 34 on my "First Post!!!", and 1 on about 50 other posts). 1 4M 50 31337!!!!

    d00d, pu7 m3 0n th3 1157!!!!

    Hall of Statuary: http://www.oaktree.net/argoforg
    Medusa Realm: http://members.xoom.com/meddie/Medusa

  94. HTML tags on slashdot, spaces by mcc · · Score: 1
    ||
    ||
    || ------ ---&nb sp;-

    next time try the always-useful &nbsp; (No Break SPace) thing. /. allows that fine.
    I tried using <pre> but that is apparently just one of the many useful tags /. does not allow, along with <code>.

    For some odd reason whenever you try to post something on slashdot with &-based symbols, when you preview it converts all the &-based symbols in the html form you're typing into into their symbol equivilents. I keep having to copy and paste. Maybe this is just a bug in MSIE4/macintosh.
    I wish they'd allow a few more HTML tags.

    1. Re:HTML tags on slashdot, spaces by limbostar · · Score: 1

      Actually, I wish I had seen this post earlier, because now it's not going to do a damned lot of good to reply, but the problem is not a bug in MSIE or Netscape as far as I can tell.

      I ran into this same thing when I was writing a script and, from what I can tell, the way s work is, they ignore anything that looks like it might be html...

      except &-based character codes!

      Essentially, if a &-character appears in a textbox, browsers display the character as a character instead of a sequence - "" instead of "&nbsp;".

      The easiest way around this, I found, is to do a s-\&-\&-g on the text as the page is being assembled.

      Essentially, use the 'feature' against itself :)

      But then again, if they fixed it, it would then proceed to wreak havoc. But I guess you could check browser versions or something equally inane...

      In any case, it affects most every browser I've seen.

      (Note the subtle use of linebreaks to lengthen the post!)

      --
      this is a sig.
    2. Re:HTML tags on slashdot, spaces by limbostar · · Score: 1

      Uhm, the blankish area where there's just an "s" is supposed to say "". That'll teach me not to preview...

      --
      this is a sig.
    3. Re:HTML tags on slashdot, spaces by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And the search and replace is all fsked up.

      Damnit.

      Well, at least the moderators can't get me... ;)

  95. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    • HEEH



    tR0lLiN'
  96. FUCK YOU@#$@$#$!@!@#@K!L:RTKAWERDFJK:ZSJFGJFD by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    BL0w it OUt y3r aSs!!!!

  97. tR0lLiN' by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Bl0w iT oUt yEr AsS

  98. Thank You by Energy+Flow · · Score: 1

    Ah, thank you for posting that article slashdot.
    I needed a good laugh today. It even inspired me
    to change my sig.

    --
    -D0n'+ h$+3 M3 b3C0u5e 1'M 4 1337 Hax0R!-
  99. SID Trick by MacJedi · · Score: 1
    Im surprised the page didn't list the super secret SID trick. For example, try this URL:

    http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=w ahiscool. (Hi Wah!)

    /joeyo

    --
    2^5
    1. Re:SID Trick by fReNeTiK · · Score: 1

      Speaking of which, how many ppl know about this (hemm) feature yet? I imagine by now most everyone must have his very own little slashdot discussion.

      --
      I strongly believe that trying to be clever is detrimental to your health. -- Linus Torvalds
  100. Re:Jesus saves! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You'll have a lot of time to laugh at Jesus when you are burning in Hell.

  101. Re:Jesus saves! by arafel · · Score: 1

    > You'll have a lot of time to laugh at Jesus
    > when you are burning in Hell.

    You mean he's there too?

  102. What about a Beowulf cluster of these! by Spiff+T · · Score: 1

    C'mon you know that for every post that ever gets on /. you must consider the implications of using that thing in a Beowulf cluster.

  103. Oh, lighten up by J.+J.+Ramsey · · Score: 1

    "Jesus saves, he shoots, he scores!" and its variants hardly strike me as blasphemy. Kind of old, and perhaps a bit disrespectful, but mildly amusing.

    Frankly, I think most of the "Christian" Right is more blasphemous then that silly pun.

    Or am I just feeding a troll?

  104. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    test

  105. LAST POST! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    AND I DIDN FIND DAT ARTICAL FUNNYAT ALL

  106. This article is near top so it must be important! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    So... Xena or Gabrielle? (And if Gabrielle, the long dress villager pesant look, the amazon princess look with the staff, or the short hair, tatooed look with the dual knives?)

  107. I think this incident speaks for itself... by Millennium · · Score: 1

    Rob, you really need to do source snapshots much more often. Preferably, starting right now. Perhaps CVS access would be the best way to go. We've talked about this for ages now; Open-Source leads to security. I didn't think Slashdot was going to get burned, but it seems someone managed it.

    This is an honest suggestion, Rob. I'm not condoning what these punks did, but at least it might prove the necessity of truly Open-Sourcing Slash.

    1. Re:I think this incident speaks for itself... by zantispam · · Score: 2

      Dude, it's not a bug, it's a feature!

      Rob even says so!

      Jedi Hacker (Apprentice) and Code Poet

      --

      censorship is a form of noise, which actively seeks to drown out content with silence - Crash Culligan
    2. Re:I think this incident speaks for itself... by Millennium · · Score: 1

      It is? He really ought to document it, then, you know? If it truly is a feature, then it's one of the coolest damn features he's coded into this yet.

  108. Re: hmmm.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Hey, how'd you post with no subject? Makes it kinda hard to read your post, eh?

  109. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Huh. Interesting.

  110. Re:Fake Scores & Such by pen · · Score: 1

    Or, you can just use the "Newest First" option. And don't forget to use the -1 threshold.

  111. Update by Issue9mm · · Score: 2

    To anyone that's interested, I've updated the article with a lot of your additions. I want to thank the individuals that took the time to think of things that annoyed them, and presented them forth so that I could plagiarize them. Seriously, I want to say thanks to Thanks to Pabs, Layne, Lurking Weasel, and all the others that have helped to refine this document. If I've taken anything you said, and not given credit (or a link, if you're lurking weasel), drop me a line, and I'll get it taken care of... Thanks again.

  112. FIRST POST!!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    What I tried a while back was wait until a topic had racked up a few hundred posts, then jump in with my own "serious" FIRST POST!!! I AM COOL!!!1 all the way back on page 3...

    Another thing is to do an honest sounding FIRST POST as a reply to someone else's message. It's so obviously not a first post since I am replying to another post...

    But I guess it does clutter up the message board so for me, once was enough.

  113. U F0R60T $0M3TH1N6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 by B1FF · · Score: 2

    $UM 0F U$ L1K3 2 G3T K4RM4, $0 \/\/3 UZ3 4 SP3C14L TR1CK 4 G3TT1N6 M0D3R4T3D UP!!!!!1

    TH3 TR1CK 1Z 2 3ND Y0R P0ST W1TH "Oh well, I'll probably be moderated as Flamebait for this"
    0R "Go ahead and moderate this down, I don't care."

    TH3Z3 TR1CK$ W0RK, D00000DZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 U C4N B3 4 K4RM4 WH0R3!!!!!1


    1"LL PR0B4BLY G3T M0D3R4T3D D0WN 4 TH15...
    :WQ
    :wq
    ------ ------ ------
    ALL HA1L B1FF, TH3 M05T 31337 D00D!!!!!1
    ------ ------ ------
    ALL HA1L B1FF, TH3 M05T 31337 D00D!!!!!1

    --
    :WQ
    :wq
    ------ ------ ------
    ALL HA1L B1FF, TH3 M05T 31337 D00D!!!!!1
    ------ ------ -
  114. Have fun, boys by mcgrew · · Score: 1
    You can get a free 56k modem if you h4x0r Dopey Smurf's PC.

    |73'5 1/\/54/\/3, 1 54y! -Anonymous Coward
    00p5
    "Wow, lookit this big fuckin' gun!!" -Fritz the Cat

  115. 31337 is a prime number by hioreanu · · Score: 1

    Don't feel bad. I'm only 19 and I also don't understand any of this nonsense. Case in point: I downloaded a theme. The actual background in the download has a bunch of C code (perhaps an exploit of some sort?) with the rendered letters "31337" in the foreground.
    This troubled me. What was the significance of this number? There must be some meaning behind this number if someone was going to take the time to render it so nicely. Unfortunately, the only interesting thing I was able to find about 31337 is that it is a prime number, not a fibonacci or a marconi or anything else. I was rather disappointed.
    Later, someone told me the significance of my desktop background. That wasn't exactly the image I was trying to portray.

  116. how about a beowulf cluster of ti-86's by renegade187 · · Score: 1

    1 4m 50 d4mn 1337 7h47 17 huR75!

    freebsd
    open source
    gpl
    gnu
    N47413 P0r7M4N 7URN3d 70 570N3
    J0hN k47Z 15 pHR0M 40L

    1 83773R g37 84cK 70 H4>0r1ng /.

    ph33r mY 1337n355

    --
    icq:=22921393;
  117. Piggybacking by Travoltus · · Score: 1


    You can also piggyback by responding to an earlier post, in order to be more likely to be seen by a moderator who still has moderation points.

    Hmmmmmmmm.... I think I'll write a page about how to get moderated up at slashdot.....

    --
    --- Grow a pair, liberals... stop letting the Republicans bully you!
  118. 1MP057URZ!!!!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You're not the NAKED AND PETRIFIED guy, I am!!!!

    My nieghbor is the grits guy!!!

  119. No no no.... use TI-89's by Pyrofreak · · Score: 1

    the TI-89 was much better to cluster.... at 12 Mhz... they kick ASCII!!!

    --
    "If we are unwilling to be aware of the dark, we cannot see the light" -- John Cowan
  120. RH Linus R00lz by commbat · · Score: 1

    An KDE it DA BOMM!!!

    --
    'Intellectual Properties' are uncontrollable in the wild. To base an economy on them is just stupid.
  121. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    wow, that's interesting.

  122. FIRST POST - Moderate UP by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    =)

  123. YEEHAA!!! First Post!!! [score, 5:The Awful Truth] by commbat · · Score: 1

    Eye An 1337, D00D

    --
    'Intellectual Properties' are uncontrollable in the wild. To base an economy on them is just stupid.
  124. Re:Y'know...OT by Pfhreakaz0id · · Score: 2

    Where's it say he gets a free shirt?

  125. |337 5P33K Version by Lord+Darwin · · Score: 2

    The l33t Version of the "Unofficial Hax04's guide to slashdot Posted by: annonymous unÖff|c|ål H4X04' Gu|d£ tÖ låhdÖt W£lcÖm£ tÖ th£ unÖff|c|ål "H4X0r' Gu|d£ tÖ låhdÖt". Th| påg£ bÖrn Öf wåÿ tÖÖ much t|m£ Ön mÿ hånd, mÿ £v£r-dw|ndl|ng £n£ Öf humÖr, ånd å lÖw n£w dåÿ åt låhdÖt. ånÿwåÿ, b£lÖw, ÿÖu w|ll f|nd å l|t Öf åll th£ 1337357 wåÿ tÖ pÖt Ön låhdÖt. D|clå|m£r: Th| påg£ | nÖt |nt£nd£d tÖ måk£ ånÿÖn£ crÿ, unl£ thåt måk£ ÿÖu håppÿ. Råth£r, th| påg£ cr£åt£d tÖ måk£ l|ght Öf |d|Öcÿ. Th| | nÖt ån ått£mpt tÖ cÖndÖn£, tÖl£råt£, Ör måk£ mÖr£ cÖmmÖn th£ pråct|c£ Öutl|n£d b£lÖw. 1.ånÖnÿmÖu Ph£nÖm£nÖu åLWåÿ, | r£p£åt, åLWåÿ lÖg |n ånÖnÿmÖulÿ. låhdÖt u£ cÖÖk|£, ånd åll 1337 h4X0r knÖw, cÖÖk|£ cÖuld b£ u£d låt£r tÖ h4x0r u. ålÖ, |t k££p ÿÖu frÖm åccumulåt|ng kårmå (££ b£lÖw). (NÖt£: NÖ fåctuål |nfÖ n££d£d tÖ båck th| up, |t' pÖpulår th£Örÿ, wh|ch | £nÖugh fÖr m£.) 2.Kårmå ånd Gr£g R£m£mb£r thÖ£ cÖÖk|£? W£ll, |f ÿÖu th|nk cÖÖk|£ år£ båd, tåÿ th£ h£ll åwåÿ frÖm kårmå. NÖ 1337 h4X0r wÖuld b£ cåught d£åd w|th £v£n Ön£ kårmå pÖ|nt frÖm låhdÖt. Whÿ ÿÖu åk? W£ll, kårmå | Önlÿ åwård£d fÖr th£ Öl£ purpÖ£ Öf f|nd|ng thÖ£ |nd|v|duål fÖr/ågå|nt th£ Öp£n Öurc£ mÖv£m£nt, ånd tråck|ng th£|r wh£r£åbÖut, ånd th£|r åg£ndå å th£ÿ £vÖlv£. M£mb£r w|th h|gh kårmå cÖr£ håv£ th£ u£r prÖf|l£ £-må|l£d tÖ R£dHåt, wh£r£ ÿÖur |nfÖrmåt|Ön | u£d |n mårk£t|ng ch£m£ å w£ll. Th£r£ | nÖ gr£åt£r fÖrm Öf nÖÖp£rÿ thån kårmå. Tåÿ åWåÿ FRÖM KåRMå. 3.|knÖÖr chp£ll|nk Måk£ ur£ tÖ n£v£r, £v£r, £v£r cÖnult å th£åuru Ör d|ct|Önårÿ wh£n pÖt|ng ånÖnÿmÖulÿ. 1337 h4X0r ånd g|r1|3z th|nk |t' 1337 tÖ håv£ båd gråmmår. ålÖ, trÿ ånd b£ å crÿpt|c å ÿÖu cån, ånd åvÖ|d måk|ng £n£ åt åll cÖt pÖ|bl£. Th| w|ll åttråct å bunch Öf h4X0r g|r1|3z, thåt w|ll tr£åt ÿÖu l|k£ å kr|pt-k|ng. 4.F|rt PÖt F|£tå |f ÿÖu Öth£rw|£ cån't th|nk Öf å wåÿ tÖ g£t pÖt£d åt th£ tÖp, but Ö d£p£råt£lÿ wånt tÖ b£, ÿÖu cån ålwåÿ cåh |n Ön th£ F|rt PÖt cråz£. Måk£ ur£ tÖ lÖg |n ånÖnÿmÖulÿ. ÿ£, ÿÖu'll Önlÿ b£ åt th£ tÖp Öf lÖgg£d |n u£r' cr££n fÖr twÖ m|nut£ Ör Ö, but åll ÿÖur 1337 budd|£ år£ lÖgg£d |n ånÖnÿmÖulÿ, ånd th£r£fÖr£ r£åd|ng |n flåt mÖd£. Wånt th£ nåm£ r£cÖgn|t|Ön? DÖn't wÖrrÿ, th£ÿ'll knÖw whÖ ÿÖu år£. N£v£r r£fr£h b£fÖr£ ått£mpt|ng, f|rt pÖt|ng |n 7th Ör 8th, Ör £v£n 98th | w|ck£d 1337. ålwåÿ u£ 1337-5p34k wh£n pÖt|ng f|rt. 5.F|rt PÖt R£v|£d Th| jut |n... åccÖrd|ng tÖ r£l|åbl£ 1337-å-h£ll Öurc£, ÿÖu cån clå|m f|rt pÖt åt ånÿ t|m£. Th£ Önlÿ r£qu|r£m£nt b£ thåt nÖbÖdÿ £l£ hå clå|m£d |t. |f th£ åctuål f|rt pÖt£r wåt£ h| gÖld£n ÖppÖrtun|tÿ tÖ åctuållÿ pÖt Öm£th|ng |nt£ll|g|bl£ (nÖ dÖubt |n puru|t Öf kårmå, å k|£r), th£n thåt l£åv£ th£ "Fur57 PÖ57 ucKå" pÖt unclå|m£d, ånd n££d tÖ b£ tåk£n. Pl£å£, ålwåÿ tåk£ th| chånc£ tÖ clå|m whåt | r|ghtfullÿ ÿÖur. (ådd£ndum: DÖ NÖT wåt£ t|m£ åctuållÿ lÖÖk|ng tÖ måk£ ur£ thåt å f|rt pÖt | unclå|m£d, l£t ÿÖu m| ÿÖur gÖld£n ÖppÖrtun|tÿ.) 6.Thr££ Plÿ R£plÿ |f ÿÖu cån't g£t th£ f|rt pÖt (th£r£' lÖt Öf 1337 cÖmp£t|t|Ön ÿ'knÖw), Ör cÖm£ |n å l|ttl£ tÖÖ låt£, ånÖth£r wåÿ tÖ g£t få|rlÿ v||bl£ tÖ thr£åd£d v|£w£r, | tÖ r£plÿ, å ÖfftÖp|c å n£c£årÿ, tÖ th£ h|gh£t cÖr|ng pÖt. ÿ£, th£r£' å chånc£ thåt thåt pÖt cÖuld b£ mÖd£råt£d båck dÖwn, Ör ånÖth£r b£ mÖd£råt£d åbÖv£ |t, but åll th£ 1337357 knÖw thåt åll th£ R£åL mÖd£råt|Ön | dÖn£ w|th|n th£ f|rt 5 m|nut£ Ör Ö. 7.årt|cl£ chmårt|cl£ Wh£n r£plÿ|ng tÖ ån årt|cl£ thåt dÖ£n't cÖnfÖrm tÖ ÿÖur Öwn thÖught, b£ ur£ tÖ tåt£ hÖw b|å£d th£ r£pÖrt£r w£r£, ånd thåt th£ÿ år£ b£|ng br|b£d bÿ M|crÖÖft (Ör whÖm£v£r £l£ ÿÖu th|nk | £v|l). |f th£ årt|cl£ | r£ållÿ båd, åccu£ th£m Öf b£|ng Fr££BD lÖv£r (cåu£ £v£rÿbÖdÿ knÖw thåt låhdÖt | fÖr l|nux lÖv£r Önlÿ). NÖ prÖÖf n£c£årÿ. 8.|t' å lÖng wåÿ up ånÖth£r £åÿ wåÿ tÖ g£t Ön tÖp, | tÖ mårk ÿÖur årt|cl£ å flå|mbå|t. PrÖc££d tÖ tåk£ ån "ånt|-gpl" Ör "ånt|-l|nux" pÖ|t|Ön Ön mått£r, thåt måk£ ÿÖu ££m "hård-h|tt|ng" ånd "cutt|ng tÖ th£ cÖr£" Öf th£ mått£r. £v£rÿÖn£ knÖw thåt mÖd£råtÖr l|k£ tÖ b£ dår|ng bÿ måk|ng flå|mbå|t c£nt£r tåg£. 9.åutÖ-mÖd£råt|Ön Th£ n£åk|£t m£thÖd Öf g£tt|ng Ön tÖp, | tÖ tåk£ ådvåntåg£ Öf th£ r£låt|v£ |d|Öcÿ Öf mÖd£råtÖr (ÿÖu knÖw thåt th£ÿ'r£ tup|d, cåu£ th£ÿ'r£ cÖntåntlÿ årÖund, nÖt clå|m|ng f|rt pÖt, but |nt£åd trÿ|ng tÖ g£t kårmå), ånd t|tl£ ÿÖur årt|cl£ Öm£th|ng l|k£ "cÖr£ 3, |n|ghtful". Th| w|ll tr|ck th£ mÖd£råtÖr, w|th th£|r l|m|t£d |nt£ll£ct, |ntÖ th|nk|ng thåt ÿÖu'v£ ålr£ådÿ b££n mÖd£råt£d up, ånd th£ÿ'll wånt tÖ jump Ön th£ båndwågÖn, Ö tÖ p£åk. (NÖt£: tÖ b£ u£d pår|nglÿ, Ö nÖbÖdÿ w|ll cåtch Ön.) ådd£ndum: Måk£ åbÖlut£lÿ ur£ thåt ÿÖu år£ lÖgg£d |n ånÖnÿmÖulÿ wh£n dÖ|ng th|, Ör ÿÖu måÿ b£g|n tÖ åccumulåt£ dr£åd£d kårmå pÖ|nt. Updåt£ åft£r håv|ng håd th| påg£ f£åtur£d å ån årt|cl£ Ön låhdÖt, ånd r£v|£w|ng th£ cÖmm£ntårÿ ubm|tt£d, |'v£ måd£ ån ådd£nd£m tÖ th| årt|cl£. Th£ ådd|t|Ön år£ pÖt£d b£lÖw. 1.låhbÖx|ng GlÖv£ |f ÿÖu'r£ t|r£d Öf trÿ|ng tÖ g£t |ntÖ th£ tÖp 10 tÖr|£, ånd jut wånnå måk£ £v£rÿÖn£ £l£ uff£r, th£n trÿ th|: G£n£råt£ å u£r åccÖunt, ånd £d|t ÿÖur pr£f£r£nc£ tÖ Öp£n £v£rÿ |ngl£ låhbÖx mÖdul£ åvå|låbl£. Th| w|ll £ff£ct|v£lÿ br|ng låhdÖt' £rv£r tÖ |t kn££, måk|ng £V£RÿÖN£ £l£ uff£r. NÖt£, dÖ nÖt pÖt ånÿ cÖmm£nt, å ÿÖu'll b£ lÖgg£d |n nÖw, ånd w£ åll knÖw åbÖut thåt. |nt£åd, jut k££p r£fr£h|ng l|k£ å mådmån. 2.G££k CÖd£ |f ÿÖu åbÖlut£lÿ mut |gn |n, fÖr whåt£v£r r£åÖn, åt l£åt måk£ ur£ tÖ l£åv£ å lÖng |g. |'v£ fÖund thåt th£ G££kCÖd£ | p£rf£ct. Tåk£ up å lÖt Öf påc£, åÿ nÖth|ng, ånd ÿÖu cån måk£ Ön£ up Öff Öf th£ tÖp Öf ÿÖur h£åd, ånd nÖbÖdÿ w|ll £v£n nÖt|c£. |f th£ÿ dÖ nÖt|c£, Ö whåt? Th£ÿ'r£ jut å bunch Öf kårmå whÖr£, whåt dÖ£ th£|r Öp|n|Ön mått£r? 3.BÖld|fÿ |f ÿÖu jut wånt tÖ cåu£ å rucku, Ör Öth£r m£ån Öf d|tråct|Ön wh|lt ÿÖu H4x0r th£ låhdÖt dåtåbå£, ÿÖu cån u£ åLL html pÖt, ånd "fÖrg£t" tÖ clÖ£ å fÖnt mÖd|f|£r tåg (uch å bÖld Ör |tål|c) åt th£ b£g|nn|ng Öf th£ £nt£nc£. B£ ur£ tÖ u£ th£ Br£åk tåg fr£qu£ntlÿ, Ö å tÖ g|v£ th£ åpp£årånc£ Öf å lÖng£r, mÖr£ |mpÖrtånt pÖt thån whåt ÿÖu r£ållÿ håv£. 4.åÿMF TÖ b£ å 1337 å h£ll, u£ crÿpt|c åcrÖnÿm å Öft£n å pÖ|bl£. DÖn't cÖnc£rn ÿÖur£lf w£th£r Ör nÖt th£ÿ åctuållÿ wÖrk å £tåbl|h£d åbbr£v|åt|Ön. £v£rÿÖn£ £l£ |n ÿÖur m£ntål|tÿ w|ll b£ åbl£ tÖ r£åd å pÖt Öf "åFå|K, th£ GFPFåD mÖd | Bÿ th£ cÖÖl£t mÖd £v£r. WC|FDW, ÿ'knÖw?". B£|d£, th| måt£rm|nd-l|k£ cÖmpr£h£n|Ön Öf åcrÖnÿm|tÿ, Önlÿ furth£r |nd|cåt£ ÿÖur 1337n355. 5.WhÖ' Måmå? |f Öm£Ön£ r£pl|£ tÖ Ön£ Öf ÿÖur pÖt d£rÖgåtÖr|lÿ, dÖn't bÖth£r £xplå|n|ng ÿÖur£lf. Th£ 1337 m£thÖd Öf r£pÖn£ | tÖ pÖt 200 ånÖnÿmÖu m£åg£, f|ll£d w|th hÖt gr|t, N47413 P0r7M4N, ånd d£r||v£ r£mårk tÖwård th£ pÖt£r' mÖth£r. |f ÿÖu cån g£t åwåÿ w|th |t, n£åk |n Öm£th|ng åbÖut Fr££BD å w£ll. Thåt'll turn th£ t|d£. 6.Kårmå DÖwn TÖ furth£r d£r|d£ th£ kårmå pånd£r|ng kårmå-whÖr£ Öf th£ låhdÖt år£nå, b£g|n åll cÖmm£nt w|th th£ ubj£ct "MÖd£råt£ Th| Up". Th| | ur£ tÖ cÖnfu£ th£ mÖd£råtÖr |ntÖ fÖrg£tt|ng wh|ch wåÿ up åctuållÿ |, ånd |n wh|ch mÖd£ th£ÿ'r£ åctuållÿ v|£w|ng |t. ÿÖu'r£ ur£ tÖ £nd up åt th£ bÖttÖm Öf th£ l|t, but åt l£åt ÿÖu'v£ måd£ thåt mÖd£råtÖr wåt£ h| Öth£rw|£ våluåbl£ pÖ|nt Ön ÿÖur£lf, |nt£åd Öf ÿÖu 1337 budd|£ cåtch|ng f|rt pÖt... 7.HÖn£ÿ Nut Clut£r B£ ur£ tÖ m£nt|Ön, nÖ mått£r hÖw ÖfftÖp|c whåtÖ£v£r, Ör hÖw l|ttl£ |t wÖuld åpplÿ, hÖw cÖÖl X (wh£r£ X = årt|cl£ tÖp|c) wÖuld b£ Ön å B£Öwulf clut£r. | m£ån, c'mÖn, £V£RÿTH|NG wÖuld b£ cÖÖl Ön å B£Öwulf clut£r, £v£n Nåtål|£ PÖrtmån, p£tr|f|£d ånd nåk£d.... h£h£. 8.Kåtz? |f åll £l£ få|l, ånd ÿÖu jut wånt tÖ |rr|tåt£, måk£ fun Öf JÖn Kåtz, Ör, p£rhåp ågr££ w|th h|m (d£p£nd|ng Ön wh|ch |d£ Öf th£ f£nc£ ÿÖur Ön... 1337, Ör 3r337). ånÿ m£nt|Ön Öf Kåtz | åctuållÿ ur£ tÖ £t Öm£Ön£' år£ Ön f|r£. Thånk tÖ Påb, Låÿn£, Lurk|ng W£å£l, ånd åll th£ Öth£r thåt håv£ h£lp£d tÖ r£f|n£ th| dÖcum£nt |ntÖ whåt |t | tÖdåÿ. |f | ådd£d Öm£th|ng Öf ÿÖur, ånd ÿÖu'd l|k£ cr£d|t, £må|l m£, ånd |'ll ££ jut whåt | cån dÖ. W£ll, | ££ ÿÖu'v£ r£åd th£ whÖl£ th|ng, ånd måd£ |t tÖ th£ bÖttÖm. CÖngråtulåt|Ön, |f ÿÖu'v£ måd£ |t dÖwn h£r£, th£n ÿÖu'r£ Öbv|Öulÿ nÖt Ön£ Öf th£ 1337 h4X0r5 d£cr|b£d åbÖv£, å th£ÿ nÖ dÖubt tÖÖk th£ f|rt l|nk tÖ låhdÖt tÖ pråct|c£ th£|r n£w-fÖund tr|ck£rÿ. ånÿwåÿ, fÖr th£ r£må|nd£r Öf ÿÖu, th£ pråct|c£ åbÖv£ år£ N£V£R tÖ b£ dupl|cåt£d. |f ånÿ m£mb£r Öf låhdÖt | ££n cÖpÿ|ng th£ m£thÖd åbÖv£, th£|r Öul w|ll b£ Öld tÖ åÖL, wh£r£ |t w|ll b£ u£d tÖ prÖc£ w£b påg£, ånd pÖw£r th£ mårk£t|ng pÖpup thåt åÖL£r lÖv£ Ö much. Note: It might be a little screwed up being formatted wrong. but heres a real note: All Text are property of their respected owner(s), trademark or copyright infringement is not intended and should not be inferred. I hope you like it. ehehe

    1. Re:|337 5P33K Version by pb · · Score: 1

      Excellent! I'm impressed.

      All you did was use high-ASCII for A,E,O,S, and Y (and the pipe for I?), but that looks really neet! Mind if I steal that for my lex scripts?
      ---
      pb Reply or e-mail rather than vaguely moderate.

      --
      pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate.
  126. Is this even true... (Flamebait) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    on a Beowulf cluster?

  127. Xena! I want Xena to beat the crap outta me! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    .

  128. 11337 500lZ by betamax_ · · Score: 1

    This article was proved false by the fact that everyone who thought it would be funny to try its tricks were moderated down.

  129. huh? by akawaka · · Score: 1

    Call me old fashioned but where the hell did this "H4X0r'$" rubbish come from?

    --
    Bother.
  130. Fur57 Po57 $ucKa$ - by ductape_pro · · Score: 1


    Moderate this up!

    This would make a kewl Beowulf Cluster if all of you ass-kissing, Karma Loving, Free BSD users would stop your GPL glorifying -- you sound like Jon Katz.

    Wasn't this on Slashdot alreay like 3 months ago.
    Just another example of Slashdot going down the tubes, especially since Bill OK'd that shipment of Who albums to Rob from the M$ FUD office.

    Now keep those damn cookies away from me and Eric S., and that Karma crap too!

    Hey if any of you h4X0r gir1i3z are reading this toss me a line at me@net.god, maybe later we can hook up on IRC and you can talk to my Bot, George.

    Hey, you with the post above me.... you're momma uses a Packard Bell!


    -----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK-----
    Version: 3.1
    GED/J d-- s:++>: a-- C++(++++) ULU++ P+ L++ E---- W+(-) N+++ o+ K+++ w---
    O- M+ V-- PS++>$ PE++>$ Y++ PGP++ t- 5+++ X++ R+++>$ tv+ b+ DI+++ D+++
    G+++++ e++ h r-- y++**
    ------END GEEK CODE BLOCK------

  131. Re: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Shut up jabroni.. before the rock slaps the taste out of your mouth.

  132. Some suggestions by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    - If for some reason you missed first post, reply to the first non-down-moderated post in a totaly unrelated manner. (first reply?) You just have to make sure that your comment will be read and it makes life of all those flat-readers a missery.

    - Call ass-liking karma-philes jewish gay negroes. This will certainly get the attention and it's always entirely off-topic and offensive.

    DISCLAIMER - out on a limb here, ITS A JOKE!
    Posting as AC for those fools that won't realize that...

  133. firzt pozt!!! by MonkeyPaw · · Score: 1

    H3y dudz. D0z th15 mak3 m3 hak3r l337 t00?

    (ah crap, I was logged in)

    --
    My studio - www.graylands.ca
  134. firzt pozt!!! Score 3, Insightful by MonkeyPaw · · Score: 1

    H3y dudz. D0z th15 mak3 m3 hak3r l337 t00?

    (ah crap, I was logged in again)

    --
    My studio - www.graylands.ca
  135. firzt pozt on a Beowulf cluster by MonkeyPaw · · Score: 1

    -Moderate This Up-
    Alright,. I'm the first post!
    Oh yeah, that article would have been so fuckin cool if it was served from a Beowulf cluster!
    Of course, Jon Katz is so stupid, he wouldn't understand. Then again, I saw N47413 P0r7M4N using my FreeBSD machine. She was telling me about the Beowulf cluster she built. She named it "MICROSOFT SUX" because Bill Gates is the DEVIL!.
    LINUX RULZ!! IT REALLY RULZ WHEN IT'S ON A Beowulf cluster!

    (Ah crap, I was logged in AGAIN. I must fix that if I'm ever to become l33t)

    --
    My studio - www.graylands.ca
  136. BBS Elite by kill+bikini-bot+kill · · Score: 1

    As stated previously 1337 is elite. Back in the bbs (bulletin board system) days, elite was a kind of "trusted" access that would allow download of pirated software.

    As a sidebar, I find it interesting that many of the "elite" people I know from those days (not the script kiddies who spell things like 1337) are now heavily into the opensource movement and claim that it was about free speech not free beer all along. I dunno...

    --

    In Indiana it is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.

  137. by interiot · · Score: 1
    (S<>core: 6)

    Now how to chop off the trailing score?

  138. (Scöre: 6) by interiot · · Score: 1

    (Scöore: 6)

  139. Damn arent nestle semi sweet morsels good as HELL! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    THE BEST CHOCOLATE CHIPS FOR REAL couldnt you just eat a whole bag
    FreeBSD Rulz

    and is it just me or are we ALL on FIRE?

  140. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Hi mom!

  141. lAST pOST! by Last+Post! · · Score: 1

    They are behind the times. Last Posting is the wave oif the future.!!Y


    ez last post

    _.......................__
    ||.....__...._._||_..||-\\..._...._._||_
    ||......_\\.(/_'..||....||-//.//.\\.(/_'..||
    ||__((_||_,_/).||_..||....\\_//.,_/).\\_
    The final word; anything following is redundant.

  142. Suggestion about new option for moderators by Card · · Score: 1
    IMO, moderators should have an ability to view bottom posts; that is, comments above X points wouldn't be shown. This'd be an opposite of "3 replies below your threshold".

    This way the moderator would be able to shift through more posts without having to care about posts that've already been recognized as "5: Informative" or "4: Insightful".

    This would also decrease the amount of /. load.
  143. Beowulf by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    This guide should be ported to Beowulf. It would rule.

    Is this the Last Post?

  144. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Phear me BITCHES

  145. Re:(Score: 6) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Re:(Scre: 6)

    meept!!

  146. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Phear me BITCHES.

  147. F1rst P0st! by Idaho · · Score: 1
    Just in case nobody claimed it yet.

    Oops, I should probably have logged out first, let's see if I can get my karma below 0. Want to bet on it?

    :-)

    --
    Every expression is true, for a given value of 'true'
  148. Karma Whore! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    No offense ... but that was my favorite thing
    of the whole article. "Karma whore" just slays
    me!

    Good job on spotting what looks like a bug.
    You're 1337!

  149. Who shall I say is calling? by Tom+Christiansen · · Score: 2
    What's wrong with "by Microsoft or whomever"? It's "by whom", like "to whom", you know. Saying "by whoever" is wrong.
    Er, not exactly. Let's just say that your understanding represents an isolated view of reality.

    The following examples are all correctly inflected. Once you understand why, it all becomes easy.

    1. It's really a question of whom you're trying to make happy.
    2. It's really a question of who is happy.
    3. It's really a question of whom you've seen.
    4. It's really a question of who wants to go.
    5. It's really a question of who is going.
    6. It's really a question of who you think is going.
    7. It's really a question of whom you told to go.
    8. It's really a question of who you think I said was going.
    9. It's really a question of whom you think I told to go.
    English is a context-sensitive language. You can't just look at these things in isolation.
  150. something worth noting by RoLlEr_CoAsTeR · · Score: 1

    If you have a rational argument, and it isn't one of those topics that generate more heat than light, then posting a position different than that of most posters is informative. And, in my experience, it's also more likely than an equally-well written "me-too" variant to get some karma points.


    I agree.. and I wrote what I wrote.. out of lack of better thought, actually, because what I was referring to is Flamebait and people who post comments on subjects that they, and we, know will merely start a comment war (i.e., when people post religious comments. I'm a Christian, and proud of it, and I'm sure that most people are proud of whatever beliefs they hold pertaining to religion, but religion is a topic that often sparks hot debate, and I figure it's a subject that's better left out of /. discussions, seeing as how this isn't a religion site.)


    But, thanks for the clarification.

    --

    Insert mind here.
  151. OPEN THE SLASHDOT SOURCE by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    WHERE IS A CURRENT VERSION OF THE SLASHDOT SOURCE? HYPOCRITES!!!

    1. Re:OPEN THE SLASHDOT SOURCE by Markusis · · Score: 1

      wow...well. I'm just going to assume that you couldn't figure this out on your own...and I'm going to explain this calmly and slowly. If you want to view the source of any webpage, all you have to do is right-click on the webpage and then click on view source which will be a choice in the resulting list. If that still does not suit your fancy, you can log on anonymously to http://www.slashdot.org with your favorite ftp tool.

  152. by Otto · · Score: 2

    Test to see if they actually fixed the bug..

    If this post has no subject, it's still there..

    ---

    --
    - Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set him on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
  153. Guess it's still there... :-) by Otto · · Score: 2

    Guess it's still there..

    ---

    --
    - Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set him on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
  154. ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    WFMFTRSNNGW?

  155. wow by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Your e-mail address speaks volumes about your technical expertise.

    1. Re:wow by Markusis · · Score: 1

      That reply displays your own ignorance and prejudice for all to see. I am glad that you have given me the oppurtunity to bring this up and maybe even start a discussion about it. I agree with the entire 'geek nation' that AOL bites it hard. But, it is not my choice to use that at home. I am 17 years old and I live at home and my father enjoys AOL for some ungodly reason. I wish I could convince him to change our ISP because we have access to a rather cheap cable connection. But, the point is that I can not and I am stuck using AOL. That does not limit my 'technical expertise' in any way. Using a certain ISP does not lower my intelligence.

    2. Re:wow by CoughDropAddict · · Score: 1

      As a fellow AOLer in an identical situation, I feel for you...

      However, your original post didn't speak very highly of your technical expertise.

      If you want to view the source of any webpage, all you have to do is right-click on the webpage and then click on view source which will be a choice in the resulting list

      Sure, that'll give you the HTML, but not the perl script that generated it.

      If that still does not suit your fancy, you can log on anonymously to http://www.slashdot.org with your favorite ftp tool.

      Wrong again. First of all, you don't FTP to an http:// URL, that's what ftp:// is for. Secondly, www.slashdot.org isn't running an FTP server, though you could telnet to port 80 of any of slashdot's IPs and GET / if you really felt like it...

      It doesn't improve your image to insult people and then not know what you're talking about :)

  156. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Just put a space first.


    Can't get rid of bold text tho'.