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And I have proof!

I think people need to think about microsoft's army of evil monkeys before they start trying to push them around.

I think that this is what you want. A little work interfacing the two so it picks some words and adds links based on a real story, and you'll never need to visit slashdot again.

I get sick and tired of reading the same story on different web sites. That's why I like slashdot so much.

HA! this guy must be a newbie. you could generate the same slashdot headlines with the bbsport slashdot story generator that provides the typos, misspellings and bad links that you know and love, and you wouldn't know the difference

According to what Microsoft had announced some time ago, they are HALTING further new development while they focus on bug fixes.

Metalica has done a great job at that http://bbspot.com/News/2000/6/download_this.html

Allow me to explain.

Alan Cox; Richard Stallman; Bruce Perens; Wichert Akkerman; Miguel DeIcaza.

What do you see in this list of names? Are there any African-Americans on it? Absolutely not, none of those names sound like one a self-respecting black person would have! No Maurice, no Luther, no Lil' Kim. There are many other lists such as this, you can see one here. Flip through each page, do you see anything other than white faces? Of course you don't, because Open Source and its adherents are ardent racists and they absolutely forbid access to the sacred 'kernel' by any person of color.

Lets look at another list, this time a compendium of the companies using Linux. Are there any black owned companies on that list? Nooooooo. How about these companies? They all have something to do with Open Source software, any of them owned by an African-American? No again. Here is an extensive collection of photographs from a LUG (Linux User Gathering) meeting, more can be viewed at that link. What is odd about these pictures, and every other photograph I have ever seen of a LUG meeting, is that there is not one single black person to be seen, and probably none for miles.

More racist overtones can be found by examining the language of Open Source. They often refer to 'white hat' hackers. These 'white hats' scurry about the Internet doing good, but illegal, acts for their fellow man. In stark contrast we find the 'black hat' hackers. They destroy the good works of others by breaking into systems, stealing data, and generally causing havoc. These two terms reflect the mindset of most Linux developers. White means good, black means bad. Anywhere there is black, there is uncontrollable destruction and lawlessness. Looking further we see black lists that inform other users of 'bad' hardware, Samba, an obvious play on the much hated Little Black Sambo book, Mandrake, which I won't explain except to say that the French are notorious racists. This type is linguistic discrimination is widespread throughout the Open Source culture, lampooned by many of its more popular sites.

It is also a fact that all Unix 'distros' contain a plethora of racist commands with not so hidden symbolism.

It can hardly be coincidence that the prime operating system of choice of the 'open source supremacists' - Linux, features commands which are poorly disguised racist acronyms. For example: 'awk' (All White Klan) , 'sed' (shoot nEgroes dead), 'ln' (lynch negroes), 'rpm' (raical purity mandatory), 'bash' (bring a slave home), 'ps' (persecute sambo), 'mount' (murder or unseat nubians today), 'fsck' (favored supreme Christian klan). I could go on and on about the latent racist symbolism in Linux, but I fear it would take weeks to enumerate every incidence.

Is there a single unix command out there that does not have some hidden racist connotation ? Suffice it to say that the racism pervades Linux like a particularly bad smell. Can you imagine the effect of running such a racist operating system on the impressionable mind ? I don't have to remind you that transmitting subliminal messages is banned in the USA, and yet here we have an operating system that appears to be one enormous submliminal ad for the Klan!

One of the few selling points of Open Source software is that it is available in many different languages. Browsing through the list I see that absolutely none are offered in Swahili, nor Ebonics. Obviously this is done to prevent black people from having access to the kernel. If it weren't for the fact that racism is so blatantly evil I would be impressed by the efforts these Open Sourcers have invested in keeping their little hobby lilly white. It even appears that they hate the Japanese, as some of these self proclaimed hackers defaced a web site with anti-Japanese slogans. Hell, these people even go all the way to Africa (South Africa mind you, better known as White Africa) and the pictures prove that they don't even get close to a black person.

Of course, presenting overwhelming evidence such as this is a bit unfair without some attempt to determine why these Open Sourcers are so racist. Much of the evidence I have collected indicates that their views are so deeply held that they are seldom questioned by the new recruits. This, coupled with the robot-like groupthink that dominates the culture allows the racist mindset to continue to permeate the ranks. Indeed, the Open Source version of a Klan rally, OSDN (known to the world as Open Source Developer's Network, known to insiders as Open Source Denies Negroes) nearly stands up and shouts its racist views on its demographics page. It doesn't mention the black man one single time. Obviously, anyone involved with Open Source doesn't need to be told that the demographic is entirely white, it is a given.

I have a sneaking suspicion as to why their beliefs are so closely held: they are all terrible athletes.

Really. Much like the tragedy at Columbine High School, where two geeks went on a rampage to get back at 'jocks', these adult geeks still bear the emotional scars inflicted upon them due to their lack of athletic ability during their teen years. As African-Americans are well known for their athletic skills, they are an obvious target for the Open Source geeks. As we all know, sports builds character, thus it follows that the lack of sports destroys character. These geeks, locked away in their rooms, munching on stale pizza and Fritos, engage in no character building activities. Further, they interact only with computers and never develop the level of social skill that allows normal people to handle relationships with persons of color.

Contrasted with the closed source, non-geeky software house Microsoft, Open Source has a long, long way to go.

Join me in my next article where I will lay bare the rampant anti-semitism in the Open Source community.

I hope this doesn't cause as many problems as the last feature they added.

I think our military needs to think about microsoft's army of evil monkeys before they start pushing them around.

BBSpot Slashdot Story Generator

I already saw something like this months ago here

Read all about it

First, yesterday's news that the Vatican Endorses .NET Messenger Service, and now this!

E-mail inboxes were flooded with messages this morning as a new virus quickly spread around the world. Dubbed "Don't Fucking Open Me" by anti-virus researchers, the infected e-mail follows a similar course to other viruses and replicates by sending itself out to everyone in the infected computer's Outlook and Outlook Express address book. The virus also contains two different payloads: one version formats the hard drive and displays the message "This is for your own good"; the other payload creates random Power Point presentations in the "My Documents" folder.

Savvy users can spot the virus by its subject which is "Don't Fucking Open Me" or by the attachment which is entitled "Don't_Fucking_Open_Me.exe".

"This virus tricks the user with an old psychological tactic called reverse psychology. Apparently the curiosity created by the message has been too much for thousands of users," said anti-virus researcher Bob Atibop. According to Atibop, this isn't the first time reverse psychology has been used. In 1998, the "Don't Pee on Your Keyboard" worm caused a flood of damage.

Researchers have seen large infection among AOL users and middle managers, the two largest concentrations of naive and inept computer users.

Claudia Hawkins who was infected by the virus said, "My son told me not to open attachments, but.... I mean my MOM sent it! What if she was hurt?!?"

Another infected user too embarrassed to reveal his name said, "I thought that there was no way that this could be a virus. What kind of stupid idiot virus writer would put a dumb title on it like that? No one would ever open something that says not to open it. The virus would never spread defeating the whole purpose of it."

Experts advise extreme caution when opening messages entitled "Don't Fucking Open Me" or "Click Here for Cash and Virus Infection".

http://bbspot.com/News/2002/02/bitter_guide.html

You could have mentioned some of XP's other problems too. I have a test partition with XP pro on it and have not run into this particular issue yet. I hope I never do. Makes a crash a little more serious.

...if they bought evil from Microsoft?

I didn't say that. I'm explaining why I think Mac users are not respected, and what the perception of Mac users is. Call it culture clash, if you want - Unix fans with their arcane command lines and Apple fans with visual elegance, and suddenly the two meet...

...Unix users deride polished, well-done GUIs

Yes, Unix users have their faults, but I was talking about why Apple users to lack respect. Personally, I think OS X and Linux are both great in their own particular way.

I didn't say that. I'm explaining why I think Mac users are not respected, and what the perception of Mac users is. Call it culture clash, if you want - Unix fans with their arcane command lines and Apple fans with visual elegance, and suddenly the two meet...

...Unix users deride polished, well-done GUIs

Yes, Unix users have their faults, but I was talking about why Apple users to lack respect. Personally, I think OS X and Linux are both great in their own particular way.

And what would you say about Dell's position on AMD chips? They have slowly gone from innovative(the first ones with successful web-based 'configure your own' feature) to the most staid Wintel OEM in the industry. Throwing the linux geeks a bone was a move by their marketting department used to try and promote their image to people who actually have an interest in computers, instead of those who endure them as a neccessity. My god, look at their ad campaign.

What do you mean? Microsoft bought Evil from Satan.

You're right. It reminds me of this interesting bbspot news item.

Anyway, congratulations and good luck.

The proof of this is simple - rewind the clock back a year to MacWorld where WorldBook Encyclopedia was demoed as part of the keynote with everyone watching and they were all impressed.

When have mac users not been impressed at MacWorld? BBSpot has a great parody story Apple Faithful Ready "Ooohs", "Aaahs" for Jobs Keynote. I'm not trying to criticize Mac users here at all, I'm just saying that impressing people at MacWorld doesn't prove much at all.

The "Don't Fucking Open Me!" virus is still spreading havoc.

E-mail inboxes were flooded with messages this morning as a new virus quickly spread around the world. Dubbed "Don't Fucking Open Me" by anti-virus researchers, the infected e-mail follows a similar course to other viruses and replicates by sending itself out to everyone in the infected computer's Outlook and Outlook Express address book. The virus also contains two different payloads: one version formats the hard drive and displays the message "This is for your own good"; the other payload creates random Power Point presentations in the "My Documents" folder.

Savvy users can spot the virus by its subject which is "Don't Fucking Open Me" or by the attachment which is entitled "Don't_Fucking_Open_Me.exe".

"This virus tricks the user with an old psychological tactic called reverse psychology. Apparently the curiosity created by the message has been too much for thousands of users," said anti-virus researcher Bob Atibop. According to Atibop, this isn't the first time reverse psychology has been used. In 1998, the "Don't Pee on Your Keyboard" worm caused a flood of damage.

Researchers have seen large infection among AOL users and middle managers, the two largest concentrations of naive and inept computer users.

Claudia Hawkins who was infected by the virus said, "My son told me not to open attachments, but.... I mean my MOM sent it! What if she was hurt?!?"

Another infected user too embarrassed to reveal his name said, "I thought that there was no way that this could be a virus. What kind of stupid idiot virus writer would put a dumb title on it like that? No one would ever open something that says not to open it. The virus would never spread defeating the whole purpose of it."

Experts advise extreme caution when opening messages entitled "Don't Fucking Open Me" or "Click Here for Cash and Virus Infection".

...are aware of the seriousness of their acts.
Don't they know that virus making will soon be considered a hate crime?

On another note, I wonder how many victims of the Warhol virus also caught this recent virus.

It's already happening!

Just duck when this happens!

*BOOM*

Larry Ellison won't be going any time soon.

Well, Microsoft and Panasonic have already developed a Pay-Per-Use DVD player. It should be the wave of the future.

This reminds me of an article on BBSpot:
Mir Hits Taco Bell, Kills Four

Funny stuff.

What would we do without pr0n's with names like these!

Has nobody got a sense of humour any more? (Well, I know Mastercard haven't.)

Soon it wont be possible to satirise anything without getting a nastygram?

Stiledot, news for pervs, stuff that repulses

It's unbelievable...

I hired this team of evil monkeys.

Wow that's so funny. Congrats on new levels of plagiarism.

Hey, try giving credit where credit is due next time.

This came from BBSpot. Try not ripping people off, please.

Dude, at least give credit where credit is due.

Original link is from BBspot and can be viewed here.

Dude, at least give credit where credit is due.

Original link is from BBspot and can be viewed here.

11 Reasons AOL Time Warner Would Buy Red Hat

11. New metric of average customer IQ all the rage on Wall Street.
10. Fears Red Hat may use its monopoly of the 12 Linux using AOL subscribers against it to keep it off the KDE desktop.
9. Securing the rights to "The Life and Times of Michael Tiemann" movie trilogy their highest priority.
8. Confused Red Hat with the company that makes the Where in the World is Carmen San Diego game.
7. Can simply modify ad campaign to say, "So difficult no wonder you'll have to ask your geek nephew for help printing."
6. Running out of computer users to alienate.
5. "The kids keep teasing me about not being cutting edge, so I had to do something about it, Mom"
4. Negotiations to purchase Microsoft not going so well.
3. Because Red Hat said they would give them the source code to Linux if AOL Time Warner purchased them.
2. Wanted to add to their growing stable of technological has-beens.
1. Steve Case is following 2 month salary rule of thumb for purchasing other companies.

Here are 11 reasons why AOLTW might be considering buying Red Hat.

I think these guys are getting dangerously close to cause irreparable harm to the universe as discussed here.

Dear sir,

It has come to our attention that you have spuriously claimed to own the trademark to evil. It is a widely know fact on slashdot that Microsoft owns evil and any associated trademarks, copyrights and patents. Desist from making further misrepresentations or you will hear from our lawyers.

hugs and kisses,
Billg

The Duron is actually the middle processor of the "Moron" line of precessors, designed specifically for XP. If you look in the start menu on XP and you're running a Duron you'll see the My Moron icon. The "Freon" is the fasted at 3.2 GHz but requires a gallon of coolant every 100 web pages. The "Peon" is the entry level processor. You can read the whole article here

How else are they to improve model a few year's ago?

it didn't turn out like this

their shit isn't all that funny either

I think this might be what he meant.

He realized it was humor (key word: comical). His point was it's not exactly worthy of Slashdot.

Seriously, would they have posted it as "humorous" if the guy was comparing versions of Red Hat 1, 2, 3, and 4 and saying how it's not any easier to use and that he's hesistant about using Linux because it's so hard to use?

The point was he is using out of date information to blanket over an entire OS, even stuff he hasn't used, in a slightly comical fashion. It's HARDLY worthy of our time, Slashdot should link to bbspot articles for humor.