Domain: dack.com
Stories and comments across the archive that link to dack.com.
Comments · 92
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It never was on the rise.
.Net, from day one, was a vehicle for clueless middle-managers to justify sitting around blabbering web-economy bullshit and spending ginormous amounts of money for their consulting buddys to scoop up because they have a few devs at hand that are willing to play along and develop under-performing, non-future-safe, overpriced superfluos crappy MS-lockin middleware and shoddy MS SharePain intranets.
I said it when
.Net came out, and it holds true to this very day: With Java and other toolsets being FOSS, there was no point whatsoever for .Net - a Type A MS plattform login, no matter how MS marketing bullshit tries to spin it.*Everyone* with more than 2 braincells saw this and still sees this. If they'd've FOSSed
.Net 10 years ago, like I and many others, even right here on slashdot said they should do, they might have had a chance. This way .Net, like all proprietary closed source software, is a dead end, and everyone with a brain stears clear or just does it for the quick cash and doesn't expect it to be around in the long run. -
Re:Could it be....
Or just have it IEEE802.11 interface wirelessly with http://www.dack.com/web/bullsh... or http://cbsg.sourceforge.net/cg...
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They are now generating memos entirely with this
http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html Easy, no need to hire copywriters anymore.
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Re:douchebags, the lot of them
This site was the only thing that makes my dealings with repulsive MBA fucks bearable.
I try them out in meetings and actually heard them repeated after. Seriously.
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Easy
Just memorise all these and mix them up as you see fit:
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Re:It's easy to lie on linkedin
Best tool on the Interwebs:
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Re:New buzzword alert
Please. I think he's just trying to visualize 24/7 architectures, or maybe deploy intuitive partnerships to leverage bleeding-edge applications.
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Re:This article was written by Upper Management
nah, I think they used a combination of to write that.
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Re:It seems more fission than fusion
The reaction is 1H + 11B -> 12C -> 4He + 8Be -> 4He + 4He + 4He so there are more output nuclei than input.
However, I suppose it is true that all of the energy is coming from fusion, as 12C -> 4He + 4He + 4He is exothermic. (The reverse reaction is an energy source for stars under some circumstances.)
12C is normally stable, so for this reaction to go as stated the nucleus must be created in some suitable excited state.
Is there some physics version of the Web Bullshit Generator?
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Re:1.5 Gbps? I only have a 1Gbps Ethernet
Simple, it scales holistic infrastructures and engages cross-platform partnerships to generate vertical web-readiness and incubate frictionless bandwidth, which targets interactive markets and cultivates collaborative portals.
(Courtesy of the "Web Economy Bullshit Generator")
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Re:md5?
Never fear, the internet bullshit generator is here!
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Re:Remember kids...
Then try Hillbilly Greeking
... Technobabble, Matrix, and pseudo-German ...You're trying too hard.
If this is a corporate site (most are), you can just use the Bullshit Generator. Your pointy-haired boss will nod approvingly, and you can call it a day.
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Re:"the cloud"
Behold the internet bullshit buzzword generator.
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Taking it to the masses
Netflix is really one of the only companies on the net to stop worrying about the technology and build kick-ass applications to provide a great service to their users. Although the implications of this on the network / device stack could be staggering[ly bad for networks], I think it's a truely powerful, world-changing 'app' that potential to take the internet from what it is today to further displacing traditional media outlets and actually 'synergizing paradigms'. ( Yes, I do feel dirty for my blatant utilization of the web bs generator: http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html)
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Re:AC Apology to a One Robert Malda
Actually most of that is pulled from dack's web bullshit generator
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Re:Herman Miller Aeron
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Re:Light on details...
Sadly the article is sorta light on details.
Aye captain, we'll knit ya a jockstrap of metamaterial and they'll never see ya coming.
Don't understand what that is do ya? Well write your own description.
The Cone of Silence was one of many fun toys on that old show...
It seems the kids that watched shows like Get Smart, The Flintstones, Gumby, Lost in Space, and Bonanza didn't go around shooting up high schools and shopping malls. I wonder if it was because of the content of the shows, or just from having 9 minutes of commercials an hour instead of 18? -
Re:language distortion field?
It's a new feature. Similar to the dictionary integration with Wikipedia, documents and web pages for marketing are now integrated with the bullshit generator.
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What Mashups are:
Mashups target dynamic web-readiness and are often used to exploit visionary ROI in order to syndicate front-end systems. In order to exploit ubiquitous bandwidth Mashups can also be utilzed to unleash efficient e-business and envisioneer intuitive applications.
Hope that helps. ... (What really scares me that most of the above actually makes a strange sort of sense) ...
[Disclaimer: Large portions of this post where generated using the official Web Economy Bullshit Generator in order to aggregate web-enabled networks. ... God, I just *love* this tool ... ] -
Re:My assessment of Gartner Group
If you liked "create synergy in n-Tier multi-platform Web 2.0 AJAX solution" you'll love the Web Economy Bullshit Generator.
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Flash is evil
I don't think I have ever enjoyed browsing a site that has exclusively used flash. One of the biggest benefits of HTML is a standardization of GUI controls, with flash that goes right out the window. The only flash sites I have seen that are not totally annoying and worthless are from car manufacturers, they have huge budgets to spend on design and development of their sites, even then they are substandard to HTML sites in usability.
http://www.useit.com/alertbox/20001029.html
http://www.webpagesthatsuck.com/main.html
http://dack.com/web/flash_evil.html -
Pradigm Shifted
My paradigm shifted, and I shifted to hospitel.
http://dack.com/web/bullshit.html -
Just remember...
While you're planning to recontextualize holistic web services, be sure to whiteboard interactive infomediaries, otherwise you'll fail to embrace one-to-one models.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, make heavy use of the bullshit generator, and you'll be just fine. -
Buzzword o' meter pegged!
Anyone else read some of the press release? Look at the kinds of buzz word/marketing speak they put in there:
"Innovative Technology Platform"
"a Transactional Portal to Support the Entire Digital Services 'Ecosystem'"
"an innovative service-oriented architecture"
"automated service branding"
"business federation"
"high-value, high-impact digital services"
"service grid network architecture"
"suite of rich mobility services"
"web-enabled desktop" (lots of non web enabled ones out there I guess)
"easy-to-use mobile polling service"
"dramatically enhances my ability to personally reach constituents."
"effective tool in increasing the communication and collaboration"
"The edge processor creates a secure environment for information access and control by off-loading information from lightweight mobile devices and performing the computational heavy lifting in a secure and stable environment. This added layer of processing power and security enables smart phones and other mobile devices to be the high-powered productivity tools that everyone wants."
"Distributed EdgeClick edge processors communicate automatically with each other, forming a service grid network for flexible, secure, robust, deployment and management of software, servers, and other infrastructure assets. "
"The EdgeClick edge processor will also be available soon for on-premise deployment by enterprise and third-party solution partners, thus enabling them to securely extend existing business application functionality to mobile devices such as smart phones and PDAs."
"SCO owns the core UNIX operating system, originally developed by AT&T/Bell Labs and is the exclusive licensor to Unix-based system software providers.
Headquartered in Lindon, Utah, SCO has a worldwide network of thousands of resellers and developers. SCO Global Services provides reliable localized support and services to partners and customers."
That last I threw in there for laughs.
My eyes are glazing over, I cant tell how many more there are in that single press release.
BTW, is it bad if I can understand most of this market speek?
Bonus for those who read this far, a market speak web economy phrase generator:
http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html
Some examples:
productize frictionless deliverables
incubate proactive action-items
exploit best-of-breed convergence -
you need to revolutionize intuitive experiences
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I call shenanigans!Anyone who types something like this:
The lack of agility is maddening, because I know we are missing significant business opportunities.
Is most assuredly not a 'technology worker.' That reeks of so much manglement BS (buzzword speak) that I can smell your shiny, diagonally striped tie from here.
Either that, or you had help generating your submission.
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Sig arrêt -
Not another "hybrid"...
Am I the only one that is sick of all the "hybrid" craze lately? It seems the solution to everything nowadays is to create a "hybrid." It's quickly becoming just another meaningless buzzword that belongs in the web BS generator. Want some VC? No worries -- call it a hybrid. Welcome to the hybrid bubble of the late 2000's. I for one do *not* welcome our new hybrid market-speak overlords!
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A nice set of questions to ask
Let's just ask the official web economy bullshit generator about this, shall we?:
http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html
Ok, so first we have to scale real-time metrics in order to benchmark next-generation initiatives and architect synergistic platforms. If we then evolve B2B synergies and synergize vertical models together with our partners, we should be able to cultivate 24/7 channels. And, voila, we have achieved open source innovation leverage.
Easy, isn't it? -
He did it...
Wow - he's actaully worked the bullshit generator into an article!
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If I may add..."At that point, we let the data speak for itself," said Michael Dowling. "To do this, we correlated brand pervasiveness, at each increasing level of integration, with key marketing metrics like awareness, recommendation and ratings. This data-driven, empirically-based analysis revealed a powerful new structure for brand integration."
I knew it, he's a script! *kicks himself for not knowing earlier*
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Re:Blah blah blah corporatespeak blah blah blah
Here, this may help:
Web Economy Bullshit Generator -
You know...
I think that solution stacks are good, especially if you wish to envisioneer web-enabled content through branding front-end e-services.
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Et Tu, Slashdot?
"mainstream use...hype cycle...halfway to maturity...mission-critical...Leading-edge...infr
a structure applications"
Thought we got rid of the bullshit buzzwords during the bubble burst. -
Re:Better luck next time
Thanks for the tips! This is too true. I wish I could find a PHB buzz word site so I could use some words that are sure to get them all listening. ; )
Try http://www.dilbert.com/. There's also a short list at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buzzword.
You could also sign up at http://www.buzzwhack.com/nletter/nlsign.htm to receive daily buzzwords by e-mail.
And, last but not least, here's two bullshit generators: http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html and http://orion.it.luc.edu/~ahill1/buzzword.html.
Now aren't you happy that you read Slashdot and learn the stuff that matters ?
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Not quite
As for the jokes to your comment, I have them covered allready.
This is not about any particular framework. It's about OSS server technology slowly creeping into everyday webapps and beyond. And Firefox/Mozilla Rich Clients in XUL lurking around the corner. Same goes for Flash stuff like Flex or Breeze. MS is fighting those too with new Products like "Office Live Meeting" and such. In MS much fear I sense about that.
Ajax on the other hand is a new buzzword for an ancient technology that usually is called "Doing neat client side stuff with Javascript". Some type A new economy wiseguy over at AdaptivePath brought it up and wrote an essay on rich clients with the assistance of the official web economy bullshit generator. And now - naturally - MS is picking it up. MS is king when it comes to buzzwords (and bullshit) and since they've got it all set up allready they now have a reason to sell more ASP.Crap servers for 10 Bazillon Dollars each.
That's all it is about.
BTW: If you want to check out a wepapp-juggernaught I'd suggest Zope, aka 'What RoR wants to be when it grows up'. -
Re:WHAT??
This is typical MBA bullshit speak. To become an expert yourself, check out this link to help you embrace scalable infomediaries as well as synergize open-source interfaces.
http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html -
Now I get it!
Microsoft purchased Dack, and are using their bullshit generator to reinvent cross-platform experiences!
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Now I get it!
Microsoft purchased Dack, and are using their bullshit generator to reinvent cross-platform experiences!
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Re:cell
For these and other web economy bullshit phrases, click here.
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Re:I agree
I second your comment. I'm the only IT guy at my company. More and more people ask me questions which contain quasi-technical words they've learned. The words are usualy misused; exclusively because of a lack of understanding the technology.
It seems to be a building problem in our modern society. People don't want to be 'left behind' technologically. So they use words (or worse phrases) when they don't know what they mean. Maybe this is a replacement for the Business Buzz Words of the 90s: See the Bullshit Generator.
The RFID tags for Tetris, and this story I'll bet, are good examples for word misuse. -
HON Chairs
Or, spend your money more wisely and buy a decent HON chair. Though your office friends may swear by it, the $700 Aeron chair isn't the last word in chairs.
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Re:Paramount Business Solution
Today yada yada yada more than ever yada yada yada your needs yada yada yada our solution yada yada yada. Open Source adopts market speek
Adapts market speek? Don't you know that the generator itself has always been open source? -
Re:I look forward to IE7.
In my experience IE7 will transform wireless relationships, repurpose frictionless models, harness visionary infomediaries and furthermore iterate end-to-end experiences.
I think I speak for us all when I say that we can look forward to an exciting new e-technology era where we can deploy plug-and-play e-services and engage mission-critical e-commerce at the click of a button, which will serve to enhance scalable e-business and orchestrate bleeding-edge content.
-- This post was brought to you by the Web Economy Bullshit Generator ;) -
Re:Who?
And interestingly, they appear to have replaced their website content team with this script. Respect!
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Amen to that, brother
Flash is evil!!
This page says exactly what I've always thought about Flash.
In this respect, Flashblock for Mozilla is the best program ever - to get rid of annoying flash ads. -
Hmm...
The real question, though is how aggregated interactive communities can help us embrace best-of-breed experiences and optimize e-business networks in the field of bricks-and-clicks vortals. Agile technologies are great and all, but will they leverage frictionless initiatives? Didn't think so.
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Need more buzzwords?My favorite: Web Economy Bullshit Generator
Dilbert-inspired: The Buzzword Generator
Yet Another Buzzword GeneratorAnd there are many, many more buzzword generators out there, implemented using open-architected dynamic algorithms by organic radical policies...
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Re:Yay
it worked fine with osx/safari
but yes flash is evil http://www.dack.com/web/flash_evil.html -
Re:NEW from Ahole Press!!!Well, the 'agile' part of your sentence adds nothing at all above and beyond "let's use this simpler algorithm until we have some real-world benchmarks" which is perfectly sensible advise assuming that the consequences of switching later sufficiently great to warrant lots of up-front thought and analysis.
'Devoid of substance' is the sine qua non of the fad. Please, let's try to use 'agile' in a context that makes sense and not just throw it around gratuitiously because we think somebody will be convinced by the word alone.
On another note, does anybody, anywhere, ever, under any circumstance say that agility is a bad thing? I don't think so, so let us not just throw the word around as if we mean nothing more than a phb does when he whacks off at the latest report from the buzzword generator and shortly thereafter ejaculates his germs of wisdom to the world at large.
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Re:I concur.
This calls for Dack.com's Web Economy Bullshit Generator
Some quick examples:
reintermediate bricks-and-clicks partnerships
brand e-business action-items
orchestrate visionary interfaces
Using this tool we can quickly create:
Using SOA we can engineer wireless web services to deliver frictionless communities. It will allow us to optimize out-of-the-box portals and extend our enterprise models. If we monetize viral convergence we can synergize customized relationships and utilize matrix efficient infrastructures. SOA will enable us to reintermediate compelling e-business thus increasing our ROI. Our TCO will be minimied due to the increasing ability to drive magnetic markets.