Slashdot Mirror

SLASHTREK, THE NEXT MASTURBATION
a screenplay from the library of Trollkore.

SCENE 1: ABOARD THE STARSHIP ENTERPRISE - A worried L.T. Commander Data addresses Captain Picard.

Data: Captain, sensors indicate a de-cloaking Slashdot ship one hundred meters off the starboard bow.

Picard: On screen!

Worf: Captain! We are dealing with a highly idiotic, ignorant and Linux-using species. They have been known to attack those who have superior social skills and official Microsoft qualifications in computer literacy out of fear and confusion - I recommend we attack them before they do us!

Picard: That is not the way the federation do things, Mr. Worf. When dealing with such mindless slashbots there is only one course of action to take. Ensign Wheaton hail the Slashdot ship.

Wheaton: Yes sir... but are these slashbots really so bad, according to my knowledge the open source community is a highly developed and sophisticated race of people - it would be unfair to discriminate against them just because of their foul stench and greasy complexion.

Picard: Shut up Wesley!!!

Data: The Slashdot ship has responded to our hail.

Picard: On screen.

--- Cut to a dark and lifeless ship, featuring posters of Kathleen Fent engaging in all manner of sexual acts upon the walls, with a barely visible silhouette of Michel Simms vigorously beating his cock in the background.

CMDRTACO: Captain, you are encroaching on our space, leave our territory at once and never return.

Picard: We are on an important scientific mission, studding a collapsing star - I can offer you goods in exchange for passage trough your space.

CMDRTACO: -1, Redundant. You have nothing you can offer us... End Trans...

Picard: WAIT! I have... Goatse.

CMDRTACO: Then it is agreed, your safe passage trough our space in exchange for the image. End Transmission.

--- The view screen turns off and TACO looks over to his first mate, Cowboy Neil.

CMDRTACO: Put the image on main screen.... I wish to ejaculate.

You betcha!

Since the slashdot editors have been deleting posts with goatse.cx links, why the hell don't they delete this GNAA shit.

Here is Darl McBride's rebuttal.

Moon Tube

. . . my Taco gave to me FIVE GOLDEN RINGS,
four penis birds,
three fresh men,
two bubble tubs,
and a cartridge from Atari!

getting the gift of goatse.cs

However, until the day comes that everyone uses Linux (or finds a way around Billy Boy's "evil empire")

It's here and it's called goatse.cx

Wanna bet this isn't going to be modded as insightful?

Mmmmmm, the Gift of Slashdot.

I took the initiative in creating the Internet

LOL, the rumour is true, he did really say it ^_^

[here]

I am conducting an important survey on the sexuality of slashdot readers. Participating is very easy; I want you to look at this picture and report any feelings you may have. Afterwards, I want you to look at this picture and report the same.

Thank you.

On a side note, here is some information on how to actually track domain names.

Your Bowels Cleansed

Let me ask you this...which is worse:

A. The engine on your Lexus freezes up at 160,000 miles instead of 300,000. You take a financial hit and you are forced to buy a Camry this time.

B. You start bleeding during bowel movements. You go to the doctor and get poked, prodded, X-ray'd, biopsied, etc. 3 days later you get a call for a consultation. The doctor informs you that you have advanced colon cancer at 45 years old. You have anywhere from 6 months to 5 years left to live. He tells you it's time to get your house in order because you'll be checking out soon. Chemotherapy starts today.

A friend of mine who was a science and health researcher at the University of Chicago, just died this past year of colon cancer at 42. In the midst of the prime of his life, he said goodbye, and left his wife and child behind, wondering what just hit them.

Why do you brush your teeth? Are your teeth falling out right now? For most of us, we do it so we won't need false teeth and Fixodent down the road...right? We want to be able to eat apples. Hey, I agree with that. Natural teeth are great.

But have you ever seen someone who was forced to endure a colonectomy? Someone who now will be spending the rest of their life carrying a bag around?

Incredibly, this is an area where even the staunchest MD's AGREE with us!! Can you believe it? If they knew you had the greatest colon cleanse in the world, I bet they might even refer people to you. NO, I'm not kidding...

This subject is not even up for debate. It's a proven fact. The problem is, most people are not doing anything about it. Please don't be one of them.

****WARNING***** The next section of this email contains graphic
material which may not be suitable for squeamish individuals.

Let's talk stools.

The stool tells you a lot about your colon health. If it's dark brown in color, and it sinks, and it stinks, that's not good. And don't feel bad, that's the way most people are. What you want to see is light brown color, which means it's full of fresh bile from the liver, very mild odor, and a stool that floats. We're talking low-density here folks. The more compaction you have the darker the color and the faster it sinks. Compaction is not good. Also, moving bowels should be SIMPLE. If the veins are popping out of your neck and you feel like your doing the bench press, you NEED to cleanse your colon.

When you do the cleanse, for the first few days....things are a little weird. But you know you're cleansed when you see the above good stuff happening, and you are eliminating at least 2-3 times per day.

Cleansing your colon is a 30-day process. Its also very economical at under $50. You may be very surprised at some of the benefits you will receive besides just losing 1-5 lbs of cr*p from your body and brightening your future health.

People have reported more energy, less allergies, clearing of acne, cessation of migraines, and many other results, not to mention restored regularity. When your body is void of old, poisonous toxins that are constantly being reabsorbed through the colon walls, it can begin to heal again. And when the colon walls are clean, the good nutrients from your food and supplements can be absorbed again. You will be thrilled with the results.

At this point you are either nauseated thinking about what is inside your own colon, or you're ready to do something about cleaning it out.

Want more info? Click here and I'll send it to you, including instructions on how to take it. It is private, all natural, totally safe, inexpensive, and very effective. And yes, I have taken it myself.

Currently available only in the U.S. and Canada. Seeking Distributors to meet high demand.

More Infor

cmdrtaco@slashdot.org?subject=SendColonCleanseIn fo

cmdrtaco@slashdot.org?subject=PleaseRemove

Please do not 'reply' to this email as we might not see your message. Please use the links above.

OMFG0dddd I luv d4 SPOKE

what cna ypou do wit a kl0nDYKE bar???

OMFG I LOVE D4 SPOKE!!!
FAG Po5t

Right here

Dear sir, I wish the best in life for you and your family, and I hope you will receive this mail in good spirit and respond quickly with utmost secrecy and confidentiality, I got your address through my friend that works with my country chambers and commerce, but I did not disclose to him my exact intention of requiring from him a contact information of somebody that can be trusted in a business exploitation in your country. My name is Mr.Peter Nelson and I am the chief operations of the security of the former president Charles Taylor of Liberia. Please, protect this mail for the safety of my life and that of my family to avoid us being tortured or killed by the new government of President Moses Blah's, formal Vise president to the formal President Charles Taylor. Please, I humbly beg you from the bottom of my heart to listen very carefully to me, I have just survived the second assassinating plot on me, which I believe that the people are the security agent from our president, President Moses blah, who doesn?t want to incorporate any of the officers that have saved the Liberian government under the Government of our formal President, Charles Taylor, So I don?t think that I am safe, while still serving under this present government, but I will continue to serve my fathers land with all my sincerer heart and protecting the sovereignty of my fathers land. Please, listen to me very carefully, our former president, President Charles Taylor, give me in cash of the some of US$30 Million, to purchase some special kind of ammunitions from Russia government unofficially, which I purposely reported to him that, the Ammunitions has been purchase and supplied to our different command, to be able to flush out all the sectional rebels that was against his government, I did that, because there is know other way to prove to myself, that I am against his (Charles Taylor?s) government. Now the new government still doesn?t appreciate me, instead planning to kill me. Please, my good friend, I want you to do me a life time favor, I have only one son and his name is Mr. Patrick Nelson, he is 30years old, and I have send him to permanently reside in England, because that is where I deposited the fund (US$30million) in our west African security company, with my son?s name in two boxes, which he (my son) is very aware of it, but I declare the boxes to the security company that the boxes contain expensive jewelries and my community generational act works. Please, you will help me to safe guide this fund (US$30Million) in your country, by establishing 70% of the total sum in a profitable business venture for my son, while he lives under your care overt here in your country, so that if I remain a life, my son can sponsor me to run as a vice president in the next coming political dispensation. While 5% will be set aside for any expenses that might occur after withdrawing the boxes from the security company, and to convey or transfer the fund US$30Million to your nominated bank account, and the remaining 25% will be for you, for this which you will do for me. I urgently await your reply with this e-mail:peter_nelson1000@yahoo.com Yours Sincerely Peter Nelson

From the nasty man makes crevase dept you may love trolls, but I will only love your anus harder than you ever imaged you faggot!

Here's another public steg file - see if you can find the message.

Here he is,here's his sister and the family pets.

What Satisfied Customers
Say About rent-a-negro(C):

"I would like to know more... [her] speaking and writing voices are a surprise... I expected someone not so calm and endearing."
- M.P., County Employee

"She keeps my life interesting!"
- H.L., Artist

"I took her to the country club for lunch...all heads turned!"
- T.M., Executive Director

"After seeing me with her, people wanted to know more about ME!"
- E.P., Marketing Executive

"I've never gotten so much attention!"
-L.B., Corporate VP

"Now I understand black people so much better, I want to share the experience with all my friends."
-D.L., Store Manager

"I introduced her to my mother-- family conversations haven't been boring since!"
-M.J., Teacher

"My friends still ask, 'how is that black friend of yours?'"
- A.P., Physician

"I'm delighted to show her off!"
- G.B., University President

New!
Join the Rent-a-Negro Mailing List!
Click Here

Isn't that an oxymoron or something? If he's wanking, how can he be fucking? It's kind of mutually exclusive... unless you consider wanking to be like fucking oneself... oh well, here's something to read:

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, in all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

Oh, for pity's sake. To make a link, type this, then post it in HTML format so it looks like this.

Oh, for pity's sake. To make a link, type this, then post it in HTML format so it looks like this.

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, in all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

"We put the O in SC O!!"

"We put the O in SC O!!"

My problem with PDF files is when you click on one, thinking it is a HTML link, my system grinds to a halt for 3 to 4 minutes while it opens up.

And putting your mouse on the link and reading the status bar doesn't show you it's a PDF file? Do you also blindly click on goatse.cx links? The status bar showing the target location has been a feature since, IIRC, Mosaic.

I'm sure the grandparent has heard all this before, and prefers to believe that it is a problem with others, because his own behavior is inherently and unquestioningly spotless.

After all, he has rationality and logic on his side.

Please try to keep posts on topic.

Try to reply to other people's comments instead of starting new threads.

Read other people's messages before posting your own to avoid simply duplicating
what has already been said.

Use a clear subject that describes what your message is about.

Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be
moderated. (You can read everything, even moderated posts, by adjusting your
threshold on the User Preferences Page)

Problems regarding accounts or comment posting should be sent to
CowboyNeal.

Synopsis:
Major Tom goes to the bathroom and shoves a Yoda doll up his ass, and then gimps back to his desk to post AC Trolls on Slashdot.

Soddity

Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Take your ex-lax bars and put my do-rag on.
Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Commencing countdown, rope is on.
Begin insertion and may Goatse's love be with you.

This is Yoda Doll to Major Tom,
You've rectally been flayed!
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear.
Now it's time to leave the crapper if you dare.

This is Major Tom to Yoda Doll,
I'm stepping through the door.
And I'm farting in a most peculiar way!
And my ass looks very different today.
For here...
Am I shitting in the tincan?
Far...too busy posting trolls.

Slashdot censors you and there's nothing I can do.

Uploading one hundred thousand files,
I'm feeling very ill.
I don't think my feces know which way to go.
I can't tell my intestines from spaghetti-
code.

Yoda Doll to Major Tom, your prostrate's dead, there's something wrong,
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you hear...

Am I shitting in the tincan?

My ass like a baboon's

Slashdot censors you and there's nothing I can do.

Suspendisse viverra, metus eget dapibus vestibulum, mauris ipsum porta diam, sit amet congue sem augue et pede. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Nullam eu massa sed leo malesuada pellentesque. Nunc luctus hendrerit sem. Suspendisse tincidunt convallis nunc. In id justo et tortor malesuada hendrerit. Proin ac augue vitae lectus sagittis vulputate. Integer a magna. Aliquam erat volutpat. Suspendisse in velit. Duis eleifend congue odio. Maecenas at est. Suspendisse porta, mauris sit amet blandit suscipit, sem leo faucibus mi, sit amet molestie sem velit vel nulla. Aenean neque velit, faucibus vel, luctus sed, vulputate sit amet, eros. Integer tincidunt interdum mauris. Phasellus augue. Nam luctus, massa ac hendrerit gravida, nibh ante vestibulum leo, sit amet dapibus pede purus at nisl. Sed est libero, gravida sed, vulputate sed, semper quis, lorem. Ut tincidunt. Vestibulum mauris turpis, consectetuer non, scelerisque et, vestibulum eget, felis.

Problem is, IMHO, by exposing SCO's legal holes, she is showing their lawyers where the holes are, and how to fix them...

you might find some of these reports interesting

Los Binds Laborotories

Smegma University of Canada

Goa Tse Governmental Computing Center of Xia, China

How about the pictures of Uranus?

Synopsis:
Major Tom goes to the bathroom and shoves a Yoda doll up his ass, and then gimps back to his desk to post AC Trolls on Slashdot.

Soddity

Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Take your ex-lax bars and put my do-rag on.
Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Commencing countdown, rope is on.
Begin insertion and may Goatse's love be with you.

This is Yoda Doll to Major Tom,
You've rectally been flayed!
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear.
Now it's time to leave the crapper if you dare.

This is Major Tom to Yoda Doll,
I'm stepping through the door.
And I'm farting in a most peculiar way!
And my ass looks very different today.
For here...
Am I shitting in the tincan?
Far...too busy posting trolls.

Slashdot censors you and there's nothing I can do.

Uploading one hundred thousand files,
I'm feeling very ill.
I don't think my feces know which way to go.
I can't tell my intestines from spaghetti-
code.

Yoda Doll to Major Tom, your prostate's dead, there's something wrong,
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you hear...

Am I shitting in the tincan?

My ass like a baboon's

Slashdot censors you and there's nothing I can do.

Suspendisse viverra, metus eget dapibus vestibulum, mauris ipsum porta diam, sit amet congue sem augue et pede. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Nullam eu massa sed leo malesuada pellentesque. Nunc luctus hendrerit sem. Suspendisse tincidunt convallis nunc. In id justo et tortor malesuada hendrerit. Proin ac augue vitae lectus sagittis vulputate. Integer a magna. Aliquam erat volutpat. Suspendisse in velit. Duis eleifend congue odio. Maecenas at est. Suspendisse porta, mauris sit amet blandit suscipit, sem leo faucibus mi, sit amet molestie sem velit vel nulla. Aenean neque velit, faucibus vel, luctus sed, vulputate sit amet, eros. Integer tincidunt interdum mauris. Phasellus augue. Nam luctus, massa ac hendrerit gravida, nibh ante vestibulum leo, sit amet dapibus pede purus at nisl. Sed est libero, gravida sed, vulputate sed, semper quis, lorem. Ut tincidunt. Vestibulum mauris turpis, consectetuer non, scelerisque et, vestibulum eget, felis.

Synopsis:
Major Tom goes to the bathroom and shoves a Yoda doll up his ass, and then gimps back to his desk to post AC Trolls on Slashdot.

Soddity

Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Take your ex-lax bars and put my do-rag on.
Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Commencing countdown, rope is on.
Begin insertion and may Goatse's love be with you.

This is Yoda Doll to Major Tom,
You've rectally been flayed!
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear.
Now it's time to leave the crapper if you dare.

This is Major Tom to Yoda Doll,
I'm stepping through the door.
And I'm farting in a most peculiar way!
And my ass looks very different today.
For here...
Am I shitting in the tincan?
Far...too busy posting trolls.

Slashdot censors you and there's nothing I can do.

Uploading one hundred thousand files,
I'm feeling very ill.
I don't think my feces know which way to go.
I can't tell my intestines from spaghetti-
code.

Yoda Doll to Major Tom, your prostate's dead, there's something wrong,
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you hear...

Am I shitting in the tincan?

My ass like a baboon's

Slashdot censors you and there's nothing I can do. Suspendisse viverra, metus eget dapibus vestibulum, mauris ipsum porta diam, sit amet congue sem augue et pede. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Nullam eu massa sed leo malesuada pellentesque. Nunc luctus hendrerit sem. Suspendisse tincidunt convallis nunc. In id justo et tortor malesuada hendrerit. Proin ac augue vitae lectus sagittis vulputate. Integer a magna. Aliquam erat volutpat. Suspendisse in velit. Duis eleifend congue odio. Maecenas at est. Suspendisse porta, mauris sit amet blandit suscipit, sem leo faucibus mi, sit amet molestie sem velit vel nulla. Aenean neque velit, faucibus vel, luctus sed, vulputate sit amet, eros. Integer tincidunt interdum mauris. Phasellus augue. Nam luctus, massa ac hendrerit gravida, nibh ante vestibulum leo, sit amet dapibus pede purus at nisl. Sed est libero, gravida sed, vulputate sed, semper quis, lorem. Ut tincidunt. Vestibulum mauris turpis, consectetuer non, scelerisque et, vestibulum eget, felis.

Synopsis:
Major Tom goes to the bathroom and shoves a Yoda doll up his ass, and then gimps back to his desk to post AC Trolls on Slashdot.

Soddity

Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Take your ex-lax bars and put my do-rag on.
Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Commencing countdown, rope is on.
Begin insertion and may Goatse's love be with you.

This is Yoda Doll to Major Tom,
You've rectally been flayed!
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear.
Now it's time to leave the crapper if you dare.

This is Major Tom to Yoda Doll,
I'm stepping through the door.
And I'm farting in a most peculiar way!
And my ass looks very different today.
For here...
Am I shitting in the tincan?
Far...too busy posting trolls.

Slashdot censors you and there's nothing I can do.

Uploading one hundred thousand files,
I'm feeling very ill.
I don't think my feces know which way to go.
I can't tell my intestines from spaghetti-
code.

Yoda Doll to Major Tom, your prostrate's dead, there's something wrong,
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you hear...

Am I shitting in the tincan?

My ass like a baboon's

Slashdot censors you and there's nothing I can do.

Suspendisse viverra, metus eget dapibus vestibulum, mauris ipsum porta diam, sit amet congue sem augue et pede. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Nullam eu massa sed leo malesuada pellentesque. Nunc luctus hendrerit sem. Suspendisse tincidunt convallis nunc. In id justo et tortor malesuada hendrerit. Proin ac augue vitae lectus sagittis vulputate. Integer a magna. Aliquam erat volutpat. Suspendisse in velit. Duis eleifend congue odio. Maecenas at est. Suspendisse porta, mauris sit amet blandit suscipit, sem leo faucibus mi, sit amet molestie sem velit vel nulla. Aenean neque velit, faucibus vel, luctus sed, vulputate sit amet, eros. Integer tincidunt interdum mauris. Phasellus augue. Nam luctus, massa ac hendrerit gravida, nibh ante vestibulum leo, sit amet dapibus pede purus at nisl. Sed est libero, gravida sed, vulputate sed, semper quis, lorem. Ut tincidunt. Vestibulum mauris turpis, consectetuer non, scelerisque et, vestibulum eget, felis.

Synopsis:
Major Tom goes to the bathroom and shoves a Yoda doll up his ass, and then gimps back to his desk to post AC Trolls on Slashdot.

Soddity

Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Take your ex-lax bars and put my do-rag on.
Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Commencing countdown, rope is on.
Begin insertion and may Goatse's love be with you.

This is Yoda Doll to Major Tom,
You've rectally been flayed!
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear.
Now it's time to leave the crapper if you dare.

This is Major Tom to Yoda Doll,
I'm stepping through the door.
And I'm farting in a most peculiar way!
And my ass looks very different today.
For here...
Am I shitting in the tincan?
Far...too busy posting trolls.

Slashdot censors you and there's nothing I can do.

Uploading one hundred thousand files,
I'm feeling very ill.
I don't think my feces know which way to go.
I can't tell my intestines from spaghetti-
code.

Yoda Doll to Major Tom, your prostrate's dead, there's something wrong,
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you hear...

Am I shitting in the tincan?

My ass like a baboon's

Slashdot censors you and there's nothing I can do.
Suspendisse viverra, metus eget dapibus vestibulum, mauris ipsum porta diam, sit amet congue sem augue et pede. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Nullam eu massa sed leo malesuada pellentesque. Nunc luctus hendrerit sem. Suspendisse tincidunt convallis nunc. In id justo et tortor malesuada hendrerit. Proin ac augue vitae lectus sagittis vulputate. Integer a magna. Aliquam erat volutpat. Suspendisse in velit. Duis eleifend congue odio. Maecenas at est. Suspendisse porta, mauris sit amet blandit suscipit, sem leo faucibus mi, sit amet molestie sem velit vel nulla. Aenean neque velit, faucibus vel, luctus sed, vulputate sit amet, eros. Integer tincidunt interdum mauris. Phasellus augue. Nam luctus, massa ac hendrerit gravida, nibh ante vestibulum leo, sit amet dapibus pede purus at nisl. Sed est libero, gravida sed, vulputate sed, semper quis, lorem. Ut tincidunt. Vestibulum mauris turpis, consectetuer non, scelerisque et, vestibulum eget, felis.

Synopsis:
Major Tom goes to the bathroom and shoves a Yoda doll up his ass, and then gimps back to his desk to post AC Trolls on Slashdot.

Soddity

Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Take your ex-lax bars and put my do-rag on.
Yoda Doll to Major Tom.
Commencing countdown, rope is on.
Begin insertion and may Goatse's love be with you.

This is Yoda Doll to Major Tom,
You've rectally been flayed!
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear.
Now it's time to leave the crapper if you dare.

This is Major Tom to Yoda Doll,
I'm stepping through the door.
And I'm farting in a most peculiar way!
And my ass looks very different today.
For here...
Am I shitting in the tincan?
Far...too busy posting trolls.

Slashdot censors you and there's nothing I can do.

Uploading one hundred thousand files,
I'm feeling very ill.
I don't think my feces know which way to go.
I can't tell my intestines from spaghetti-
code.

Yoda Doll to Major Tom, your prostrate's dead, there's something wrong,
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you hear...

Am I shitting in the tincan?

My ass like a baboon's

Slashdot censors you and there's nothing I can do.
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The Captain's Log

• Don't click, links to goatse! by CmdrAssTaco Wednesday December 03, @3:00AM

I'd say that the SuperPileDriver 1000 is easily far and away the "hardiest hardware" I have ever personally laid eyes on.

For the HTML-challenged, here is a direct link to Adblock for Mozilla.

redhat is fucking us just like taco does his boyfriends

please post!

The perfect gift for any slashdot reader !

SLASHTREK, THE NEXT MASTURBATION
a screenplay from the library of Trollkore.

SCENE 1: ABOARD THE STARSHIP ENTERPRISE - A worried L.T. Commander Data addresses Captain Picard.

Data: Captain, sensors indicate a de-cloaking Slashdot ship one hundred meters off the starboard bow.

Picard: On screen!

Worf: Captain! We are dealing with a highly idiotic, ignorant and Linux-using species. They have been known to attack those who have superior social skills and official Microsoft qualifications in computer literacy out of fear and confusion - I recommend we attack them before they do us!

Picard: That is not the way the federation do things, Mr. Worf. When dealing with such mindless slashbots there is only one course of action to take. Ensign Wheaton hail the Slashdot ship.

Wheaton: Yes sir... but are these slashbots really so bad, according to my knowledge the open source community is a highly developed and sophisticated race of people - it would be unfair to discriminate against them just because of their foul stench and greasy complexion.

Picard: Shut up Wesley!!!

Data: The Slashdot ship has responded to our hail.

Picard: On screen.

--- Cut to a dark and lifeless ship, featuring posters of Kathleen Fent engaging in all manner of sexual acts upon the walls, with a barely visible silhouette of Michel Simms vigorously beating his cock in the background.

CMDRTACO: Captain, you are encroaching on our space, leave our territory at once and never return.

Picard: We are on an important scientific mission, studding a collapsing star - I can offer you goods in exchange for passage trough your space.

CMDRTACO: -1, Redundant. You have nothing you can offer us... End Trans...

Picard: WAIT! I have... Goatse.

CMDRTACO: Then it is agreed, your safe passage trough our space in exchange for the image. End Transmission.

--- The view screen turns off and TACO looks over to his first mate, Cowboy Neil.

CMDRTACO: Put the image on main screen.... I wish to ejaculate.

Can you please visit my website at http://goatse.cx/ and tell me what you think? Thankyou.

• Don't click, links to goatse! by CmdrAssTaco Tuesday December 03, @3:00AM