Slashdot Mirror

some asses require more covering than others.

I'm not too good with descriptions, but I did find this link!

HTH.

Wait no more!!

Cookie recipe. Free.

Apparently these guys also handle wide format. (It's a joke, laugh).

yeh, its tedious data conversion... bleh... i can do it, but i'd rather be the receiver

Don't forget goatse!

Maybe he tries to hide from others about his peculiar pasttime hobby of mooning to the citizens of Free World.

from the brown-eye dept.

Anonymous Coward writes: "Hey everybody, theyre is a good website here. Let's give 'slashdotting' a new meaning!" I'm strangely aroused.

December 2, 10:00 am.

SCO (quote : SCOX), in its contiuing string of aquistions and take overs in order to buy up Unix related IP holdings, has bought Goatse.cx, a subsiduary of Portman inc.

Its trademark man with a strecthing anus has now been removed, and now redirects to SCO.com. People who would like to redirect people to goatse must pay SCO a $699 licencing fee, plus an extra $50 for every person redirected.

Related links
SCO
Goatse
Portman

3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375 1058209749445923078164062862 08998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844 6095505822317253594081284811 17450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428 8109756659334461284756482337 86783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213 3936072602491412737245870066 06315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360 0113305305488204665213841469 51941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611 7931051185480744623799627495 67351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656 6430860213949463952247371907 02179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669 4051320005681271452635608277 85771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146 5495853710507922796892589235 42019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960 5187072113499999983729780499 51059731732816096318595024459455346908302642522308 2533446850352619311881710100 03137838752886587533208381420617177669147303598253 4904287554687311595628638823 53787593751957781857780532171226806613001927876611 1959092164201989380952572010 65485863278865936153381827968230301952035301852968 9957736225994138912497217752 83479131515574857242454150695950829533116861727855 8890750983817546374649393192 55060400927701671139009848824012858361603563707660 1047101819429555961989467678 37449448255379774726847104047534646208046684259069 4912933136770289891521047521 62056966024058038150193511253382430035587640247496 4732639141992726042699227967 82354781636009341721641219924586315030286182974555 7067498385054945885869269956 90927210797509302955321165344987202755960236480665 4991198818347977535663698074 26542527862551818417574672890977772793800081647060 0161452491921732172147723501 41441973568548161361157352552133475741849468438523 3239073941433345477624168625 18983569485562099219222184272550254256887671790494 6016534668049886272327917860 85784383827967976681454100953883786360950680064225 1252051173929848960841284886 26945604241965285022210661186306744278622039194945 0471237137869609563643719172 87467764657573962413890865832645995813390478027590 0994657640789512694683983525 95709825822620522489407726719478268482601476990902 6401363944374553050682034962 52451749399651431429809190659250937221696461515709 8583874105978859597729754989 30161753928468138268683868942774155991855925245953 9594310499725246808459872736 44695848653836736222626099124608051243884390451244 1365497627807977156914359977 00129616089441694868555848406353422072225828488648 1584560285060168427394522674 67678895252138522549954666727823986456596116354886 2305774564980355936345681743 24112515076069479451096596094025228879710893145669 1368672287489405601015033086 17928680920874760917824938589009714909675985261365 5497818931297848216829989487 22658804857564014270477555132379641451523746234364 5428584447952658678210511413 54735739523113427166102135969536231442952484937187 1101457654035902799344037420 07310578539062198387447808478489683321445713868751 9435064302184531910484810053 70614680674919278191197939952061419663428754440643 7451237181921799983910159195 61814675142691239748940907186494231961567945208095 1465502252316038819301420937 62137855956638937787083039069792077346722182562599 6615014215030680384477345492 02605414665925201497442850732518666002132434088190 7104863317346496514539057962 685610055

3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375 1058209749445923078164062862 08998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844 6095505822317253594081284811 17450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428 8109756659334461284756482337 86783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213 3936072602491412737245870066 06315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360 0113305305488204665213841469 51941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611 7931051185480744623799627495 67351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656 6430860213949463952247371907 02179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669 4051320005681271452635608277 85771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146 5495853710507922796892589235 42019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960 5187072113499999983729780499 51059731732816096318595024459455346908302642522308 2533446850352619311881710100 03137838752886587533208381420617177669147303598253 4904287554687311595628638823 53787593751957781857780532171226806613001927876611 1959092164201989380952572010 65485863278865936153381827968230301952035301852968 9957736225994138912497217752 83479131515574857242454150695950829533116861727855 8890750983817546374649393192 55060400927701671139009848824012858361603563707660 1047101819429555961989467678 37449448255379774726847104047534646208046684259069 4912933136770289891521047521 62056966024058038150193511253382430035587640247496 4732639141992726042699227967 82354781636009341721641219924586315030286182974555 7067498385054945885869269956 90927210797509302955321165344987202755960236480665 4991198818347977535663698074 26542527862551818417574672890977772793800081647060 0161452491921732172147723501 41441973568548161361157352552133475741849468438523 3239073941433345477624168625 18983569485562099219222184272550254256887671790494 6016534668049886272327917860 85784383827967976681454100953883786360950680064225 1252051173929848960841284886 26945604241965285022210661186306744278622039194945 0471237137869609563643719172 87467764657573962413890865832645995813390478027590 0994657640789512694683983525 95709825822620522489407726719478268482601476990902 6401363944374553050682034962 52451749399651431429809190659250937221696461515709 8583874105978859597729754989 30161753928468138268683868942774155991855925245953 9594310499725246808459872736 44695848653836736222626099124608051243884390451244 1365497627807977156914359977 00129616089441694868555848406353422072225828488648 1584560285060168427394522674 67678895252138522549954666727823986456596116354886 2305774564980355936345681743 24112515076069479451096596094025228879710893145669 1368672287489405601015033086 17928680920874760917824938589009714909675985261365 5497818931297848216829989487 22658804857564014270477555132379641451523746234364 5428584447952658678210511413 54735739523113427166102135969536231442952484937187 1101457654035902799344037420 07310578539062198387447808478489683321445713868751 9435064302184531910484810053 70614680674919278191197939952061419663428754440643 7451237181921799983910159195 61814675142691239748940907186494231961567945208095 1465502252316038819301420937 62137855956638937787083039069792077346722182562599 6615014215030680384477345492 02605414665925201497442850732518666002132434088190 7104863317346496514539057962 685610055

Goatse man's anus to be all digital by 2011.

install Mozilla, take a really, really deep breath, go to goatse, hit stop before you are exposed to the full harshness of that gaping ass, right click on the little bit of the goatse man that has appeared, choose "Block Images From This Server", and voila! no more goatse man - even if you are redirected or click a misleading link and end up at the aforelinked domain.

Doesn't help with the increasingly popular mirroring of goatse, but it blocks enough dodgy goatse troll links to stuff his ass full of them.

There may be ways to block images with IE/your browser of choice, but I wouldn't know how to do that.

(c) HYPERLINKING- Nothing in this Act shall restrict the act of hyperlinking of one online location to another.

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, in all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

Wow. Nobody has modded me up. No wonder I quit posting regular posts and I have started trolling with goatse links. The moderation system is fucked. Fuck all of you.

Tux is the result after trimming Yoda's ears off so that Lunix people don't rip themselves a new Asshole

What you can do with you ass after sitting on a GREASED UP YODA DOLL.

y______________________________YODA_ANUS
o_________________.'_:__`.________________y
d____________.-.'`.__;___.'`.-.___________o
a___________/_:____\_;__/____;_\__________d
s_,'__""--.:__;".-.";:_:".-.":__;.--""__`,a
e_:'_`.t""--.._'/@.`;___',@\`_..--""j.'_`;s
x______`:-.._J_'-.-'L___`--_'_L_..-;'_____e
________"-.___;__.-"__"-.__:___.-"________x
y____________L_'_/.------.\_'_J___________y
o_____________"-.___"--"___.-"____________o
d______________.l"-:_TR_;-";._____________d
a_________.-j/'.;__;""""__/_.'\"-.________a
s_______v.'_/:`._"-.:_____.-"_.';__`.v____s
e____.-"__/_;__"-._"-..-"_.-"__:____"-.___e
x_.+"-.__:_:______"-.__.-"______;-.____\__x
_v;_\__`.;_; I Yoda Have A _____:_:_"+._;_
y_:__;___;_;_Greased Up ME In __:_;__:_\:_y
o_;__:___;_:_MY ASS! This Goes__;:___;__:_o
d:_\__;__:__; On FOREVER!______:_;__/__::_d

Because of Yoda's attitude, I usually don't respond to his perversions, but this time I'll make an exception. For starters, the nicest thing that can be said about Yoda's lackeys is that they are goofy insurrectionists out to demonstrate an outright hostility to law enforcement. Already, some piteous Neanderthals have begun to fund a vast web of uncontrollable vagabonds, combative slackers, and naive malodorous-types, and with terrifying and tragic results. What tracts will follow from their camp is anyone's guess. Think about that for a moment. Simply put, every morning Yoda asks himself, "How can I fool the masses today?" The law is not just a moral stance. It is the consensus of society on our minimum standards of behavior.

It is grossly misleading merely to claim that Yoda simply regurgitates the empty arguments that have been fed to him over the years. Strange, isn't it, how disrespectful control freaks are always the first to trick academics into abandoning the principles of scientific inquiry? At least 80 percent of the people in this country recognize that he should be locked up. And if that seems like a modest claim, I disagree. It's the most radical claim of all.

Does Yoda have trouble living with himself, knowing that Yoda's wheelings and dealings disgust and infuriate me? In my effort to uncover his hidden prejudices, I will need to provide you with vital information which he has gone to great lengths to prevent you from discovering. I'm not going to say why; we all know the reason. Stingy feckless lowbrows can go right ahead and convict me for saying that I, for one, am morally and ethically opposed to his sentiments, but History, acting as the goddess of a higher truth and a higher justice, will one day smilingly tear up this verdict, acquitting me of all guilt and blame. His solutions are so narrow-minded that if allowed to go unanswered, their final cost would be incalculable. Why doesn't Yoda try doing something constructive for once in his life? Some people have compared impertinent hedonists to illiterate vile morons. I would like to take the comparison one step further. Let me close where I began: This is a frightening realization.

I pledge Allegiance to the Doll
of the Greased Up States of Yodarica
and to the Republic for which it shoves,
one nation under Yoda, rectal intrusion,
with anal lube and ass grease for all.

hello.mpeg lyrics.
I'm doin' this tonight ,
You're probably gonna start a fight .

Check out their robots.txt and you'll see they've blocked all search engines from indexing. It's a shame, too, I bet with all the links around the internet they've got some hefty pagerank.

eeeeyew. That didn't come out the way I meant...

Don't worry. I have a picture here that nicely illustrates your point clickety click

when you can find?

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of post

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of post

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of post

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

• Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
• Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
• Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of post

That's it! I'm forming a class-action suit on behalf of all broadcasters against remote control manufacturers under the auspices of the DMCA.

Better yet. Let's sue those evil people who put the channel up/down buttons on TVs at all. There should be only one channel, and if you don't like it, too fucking bad. You go to jail if you don't watch.

Now that I'm on a rampage, here, why don't we outlaw all websites except for one. Which one? This one!

A full grown stallion can ejaculate about one cup ( 8 ounces ) of semen. It will take quite a few spurts to accomplish this. Each time his tail will raise and lower in a brief flick.

Horses are some of the best pussy I have ever tried! And I have tried plenty of PEOPLE & ANIMALS!

> This seems pretty high-profile and has piqued my interest; anyone have a link (ideally translated) to the "Political Satire" that was good enough to land this young woman in prison for a year?

It was a characature, no "ideal translation" required. You can view it at this site.

Dear sir:

This is not a valid first post, due to not being in fact first; additionally, it has no "power of one" because there were already 3 posts in the article.

In particular, you should be aware that failure to properly first post has been associated with homosexuality.

Thank you for your efforts.

The Slashdot Editors

Nice!

tie him up and blast him with an AIR ZOOKA!!!

10 IF SLASHDOT = GAY THEN
20 ? "* goatsex * goatsex * goatsex *"
30 END IF.

Does posting a link to goatse constitute a sex-offense?

Also, for all the karma whores out there, here's another backdoor for you.

Return your stolen MP3s! Here's how:

#1: Email Them

1. Look up the email address of your regional RIAA authority. (Listed in your white pages under "Recording Industry: Regional Authorities)
2. Open up your email program, such as Microsoft Outlook(TM) or Microsoft Outlook Express(TM)
3. Create an email to the email address you found.
4. Attach all the MP3s you're returning. (If you don't know how to attach a file, look in the help file for your email program)
5. Press send.

#2: Burn Them

1. Burn a copy of your stolen MP3's. (Here's a guide: You can fit about 200 MP3s on a CD)
2. Package the CD's in a plastic case.
3. Place the CD case in an envelope. Carefully cut a piece of cardboard the size of the CD case.
4. Seal the envelope. (Hint: You might consider putting in a note saying you're sorry)
5. Put on the right number of stamps.
6. Address it to:
   The RIAA
   c/o America

#3: Snail Mail Them

1. Locate on your computer the first MP3 you want to send. (Hint: MP3s usually end with the letters ".MP3" or ".mp3")
2. Open up your hex editor. (Did you know that "hex" is short for "hexadecimal?" Well now you do, if you do not you are undoubtly retarded)
3. Resize the hex dump (usually on the left side of the page) as small as it goes. You won't be needing it.
4. Drag-select the ASCII dump. Use the "copy" command.
5. Open your favorite word processor such as Microsoft Word(TM) or Microsoft WordPad(TM). Press "paste."
6. Set the page margins to 1" all around (2.54 centimeters). Consider single-spacing.
7. Load your printer with a fresh ream of paper. (Did you know that there are 500 pages in a ream?)
8. Press print.
9. Pack the paper carefully in a carton and take to the post office.
10. Send to the RIAA address in Method #2.

#4: Fax Them

1. Follow the instructions for snail mailing, but do not go to the post office.
2. Look up the fax number of the nearest RIAA Regional Authority.
3. Load your fax machine with the paper. (Hint: Most fax machines can only load 10-20 pages at a time. Can you figure out how many batches your MP3s will take. Without using a calculator of course!
4. Press send.

Now don't you feel better? I do.

(Stolen from sendthemback.org, edited for the Slashdot audience by Captain Goatse. Hopefully XHTML 1.0 compliant, otherwise, please give goatse.cx a visit.)

you've not only FAILED IT ...

but you've been hit by an

AIR-ZOOKA!

fight back! get your's today.

Maybe not 3D your ass, and hopefully *never* 3D his ass

Queer eye for the brown eye.

The next Slashdot story will be ready soon, but subscribers can get fucked in the ass and see it early!
Seriously, what's up with you subscibers? Enjoy getting raped do you?

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, in all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

Don't worry, I completely trust you.

0.22a + 0.17f + 0.153n + (0.12c - 0.1g) + 0.1s + 0.09e + 0.06d + 0.054l + 0.05m + 0.011c = pfgoatee

goatee[goatee.cx]

WARNING GOATEE LINK!

Eh, if I could get it formatted properly. Oh, well; http://www.goatse.cx/contrib.html

I dedicate this pr0sty f1st to the good people at goatsecx, makers of Fine Anal Stretching equipment.

• Re: No!!

• Re: No!!

A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished and says, "Son, in all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a
ghostse."

The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."

YOU HAVE FAILED IT. Perhaps a MAP of Teh INTARWEBBY would HELP YOU. Once AGAIN, YOU HAVE FAILED IT! Back to YOUR hole with YOU.

Give the guy a break. Perhaps some nice webart would help take his mind off the issue?