Slashdot Mirror

So... I should turn in Ronald McDonald to Homeland Security??

Oh, no. He's merely a tragic exile and a shell of his former self. He deserves our pity, not our hatred.

His illegitimate daughter, on the other hand, is a clear agent for the powers in McDonaldland. As for Jim Skinner, I think his name suggests his deserved fate....

In related news Jay Maris is now very probably out of work and totally unemployable.


Don't feel bad for him there are wonderful career opportunities at:

McDonalds
UPS
Burger King
Geek Squad


Personally I'm rooting for him getting a position at Geek Squad. The humiliation of having to ride around in that car and wear those clothes is a good start to some sort of punishment.

Yeah, it sure is.

For those of you who don't like long commutes and take the time to throw a pity party every time you encounter someone who doesn't have one, may I recommend a few career alternatives:

http://www.mcdonalds.com/usa/work.html
http://walmartstores.com/GlobalWMStoresWeb/navigat e.do?catg=638
http://www.subway.com/subwayroot/AboutSubway/Emplo yment/Local/index.aspx

See something for everyone.

Feel free to mod -1 "snarky"

Damn straight. A Fillet-o-Fish needs cheese. I love 'em, but they are the worst thing for you on McDonald's menu. 700+ Calories for a tiny sandwich, wow.

I read it as being 380 Calories.
  Perhaps it's 700+ with a side of fries.

As much as I like Jack-in-the-Box, they are a high calorie option.
Ultimate Cheeseburger 1010 calories
Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburger 1090 calories
Bacon 'n' Cheese Ciabatta Burger 1120 calories

Where Burker King seems to be king at 1230 calories for their tripple whopper.

i'm not sure about dairy queen, which I seem to remember had some tasty choices if nothing else was open.

AVDP? This is your boss. This is the last time I'm going to tell you to stay out of my office and off my computer to look at that geeky site. You've got work to do, we're getting low on McMuffins. And for the last time, I don't care how good it is at google.

Put treadmills in the doorways of all the McDonalds. The treadmill won't shut off until you've burned up all the calories you just ate.

Ooh, let's do the math. This should be simultaneously fun and frightening.

According to Calorie King, if you plug in my stats (height, weight, age, etc.), and you do a 3 mile/hour rate on the treadmill, which is just in the middle range of speeds, you burn 277 Cal per hour on the treadmill.

Now, according to McDonald's, a Big Mac is 540 Cal, a large order of fries (fat people always upgrade the combo to large fry and drink) is 570 Cal, and a large (32 fl.oz.) Coke Classic is 310 Cal.

That's 540 + 570 + 310 Cal, which is 1420 Cal.
1420 Cal / 277 Cal/hour is 5.1 hours.

McDonald's is going to need a room full of treadmills so their customers aren't hogging (ha! pun intended) them all.

Put treadmills in the doorways of all the McDonalds. The treadmill won't shut off until you've burned up all the calories you just ate.

Ooh, let's do the math. This should be simultaneously fun and frightening.

According to Calorie King, if you plug in my stats (height, weight, age, etc.), and you do a 3 mile/hour rate on the treadmill, which is just in the middle range of speeds, you burn 277 Cal per hour on the treadmill.

Now, according to McDonald's, a Big Mac is 540 Cal, a large order of fries (fat people always upgrade the combo to large fry and drink) is 570 Cal, and a large (32 fl.oz.) Coke Classic is 310 Cal.

That's 540 + 570 + 310 Cal, which is 1420 Cal.
1420 Cal / 277 Cal/hour is 5.1 hours.

McDonald's is going to need a room full of treadmills so their customers aren't hogging (ha! pun intended) them all.

Put treadmills in the doorways of all the McDonalds. The treadmill won't shut off until you've burned up all the calories you just ate.

Ooh, let's do the math. This should be simultaneously fun and frightening.

According to Calorie King, if you plug in my stats (height, weight, age, etc.), and you do a 3 mile/hour rate on the treadmill, which is just in the middle range of speeds, you burn 277 Cal per hour on the treadmill.

Now, according to McDonald's, a Big Mac is 540 Cal, a large order of fries (fat people always upgrade the combo to large fry and drink) is 570 Cal, and a large (32 fl.oz.) Coke Classic is 310 Cal.

That's 540 + 570 + 310 Cal, which is 1420 Cal.
1420 Cal / 277 Cal/hour is 5.1 hours.

McDonald's is going to need a room full of treadmills so their customers aren't hogging (ha! pun intended) them all.

You'll need a lot of treadmills.

A basic hamburger has 250 calories, which means you'll have to walk 2.5 miles. Or you could run 2 miles at an 8-minute pace.

A big happy meal can easily go over 1,000 calories.

Sounds like you'd get a huge gym with a very unhealthy snack bar :)

The "poor" Americans are some of the richest people in the world, just look at the obesity levels.

By your logic, Bill Gates should be the fattest man alive. Poor diets high in fat and calories but low in actual nutrition are generally the cheapest. See McDonald's for details.

> realize for some of the software being written nowadays,
> I would have absolutely NO IDEA how to even begin writing it.
http://www.mcdonalds.com/

Spoken: "Oh yes, a Diet Coke will do *wonders* for your physique."

You've got a great point, but consider the effect a large coke has on your body. Let us take a look at Ye Olde nutrition index. A Big Mac has 560 calories, and 47 grams of carbohydrates. A large coke has 310 calories, resulting from 86g of carbohydrates (all sugars.)

If you ate the kind of meal I usually eat when I eat at McD's, you'd have a couple of McChickens and a diet coke. The coke has no nutritional value, although I still think the jury is out on nutrasweet. And the McChickens have 370 calories, a little under half of which are from fat. Whee. But a large coke would have just as many calories as one of those, and I'd get half again more calories. 640 calories, on the other hand, is not unreasonable for lunch on a 2000 calorie diet.

But actually, carbohydrates have a greater impact on your body than fat. It is healthier for you to eat 600 calories of fat than 600 calories of carbohydrates. First, even saturated fat raises both your HDL and LDL levels. On its own, eating lard would probably not elevate your cholesterol score as a result of this. But carbs kick your pancreas into gear, and huge influxes of "ready" carbohydrates are the most damaging influence. In addition, your brain decides whether or not you are hungry based on glucose levels. Over time it becomes resistant to glucose and it takes more and more carbs to feel full. This leads to a vicious cycle of addiction that frequently leads to obesity. However, as you are putting ever-increasing loads on your pancreas, it is likely (but AFAIK not yet conclusively proven, only very strongly indicated) that this is the cause of the diabetes epidemic in the US. Apparently now India is also experiencing the same effects as their economy heats up and more people eat more processed foods, which are typically carb-heavy and have tons of added sugar, to improve both flavor and shelf life. Take a look at hot dog packages sometime and count carbohydrates if you want to know how much of the meat you buy is actually meat...

Of course you are quite correct that eating a big mac and a large fries is, as you say, more than pretty much anyone should be eating. In fact, back in the olden days, McDonalds only had one size of french fry, and it was what we now call a "small". This is all irrelevant to me however, because I can remember when they had crispy french fries that someone might actually want to eat, which was much more recently... and I won't bother to even eat their damned fries now.

But the bottom line is that saying that the diet coke is irrelevant is like saying that you shouldn't care if you get stabbed when you've just been shot, because you already have a more serious wound.

Well, they send us some food and some software. It's not really a financial aid as such, but I'm sure some creative accounting can turn it into some form of aid somehow...

Sure, just take it down to your local recycling center and they'll take care of it.

Here is a release from McDonald's that talks about CoinStar's investment last year.

I do, however own the website http://www.insideredbox.com/, which I created to be a place for people to discuss Redbox and get free dvd rental codes. It is a lot like the popular "Hacking Netflix" site.

Anyway, I really don't care one way or the other what anyone thinks about the Redbox, I was just posting to give some information related to the article.

How is that any different than McDonalds 175 billion served?

I do believe he is talkin about The Golden Arches.

of course: http://www.mcdonalds.com/

About 65,000

Well, I couldn't find a date on BNU, but I did find this:

Hamburger University ... Since 1961

...buying a Steak Egg and Cheese Bagel, then buying another one in a few months and realizing they added unwanted mayonnaise.* I also hope the W3C, etc. do have upcoming Recommendations/standards/wtf-they-call-'em, they check over them to prevent any errata that could give Microsoft (further) implementation legroom ("IE6 and IE7 reserve white space for [an] empty legend tag. The HTML 4.01 spec does not specify what should happen in this case."). (said HTML 4.01 spec)

*Disclaimer: This actually happened to me; remind me not to get another #7 for breakfast.**

**Disclaimer disclaimer: I love their other artery-blockers so much, and have so little hard feelings about said bagel, that I just linked to them with a nice word.

Have you looked at the nutritional info on their salads? They aren't what I would consider healthy. When you count in the salad dressing, they really aren't much better than a Big Mac.

You know what, I just took a look at the nutritional information on McDonalds website and it looks like between adding the greazy chicken parts and the dressings you can really max out on saturated fats and sodium.

I'm not a dietician but as I understand it the best kind of salad is where you replace the watery iceberg lettuce with spinach (a superfood) and go for a lighter oil dressing instead of slathering on the "white goo" dressings.

Only upside to all this that I can see is a salad at McD's is going to be a lot better for you than eating the fries/burgers/nuggets. Also I've heard (and agree that) portion control goes a hell of a long way in helping you reduce your weight and intake of bad fats and such. In fact I read a decent article about it right here. (warning: free sub required)

Happy eating/gaming, McFriends!

Because you seem to be confusing things...The WiFi access spots a local McDonald's are REAL 802.11b/b wireless spots. McDonald's has been offering them for years for use with laptops or whatever other WiFi enabled device you own. Just go to their WiFi site to get info.

Liar.. http://app.mcdonalds.com/bagamcmeal?process=item&i temID=6

Fast Food Motto: Free cheese and onions for all!

Its obviously good, because even though it is overhyped and overexposed, people are still buying it.

Whoa, for a second there I read the title as a "Big Mac" virus.

Mmm, Big Mac.

"Hamburger" is not a McDonalds trademark. Nor is "Cheeseburger". Just go to their web site and look at their nutrition list, for example, and you'll see lots of Registered Trademarks, and hamburger ain't one of 'em. They have Quarter Pounder, Big Mac, Big 'N Tasty, Filet-O-Fish, McChicken, McNuggets, Chicken Selects, McMuffin, McGriddles, Big Breakfast, McFlurry, Triple Thick, and McDonaldland. But not hamburger.

Go to the supermarket and you can buy "hamburger meat" and "hamburger buns". Plenty of restaurants sell "hamburgers". Fast food restaurants use the term "hamburgers". Hell, just freakin' go to Wendy's menu page and it says "Hot 'n Juicy Hamburgers" right there. They do have a trademark on "Wendy's Old Fashioned Hamburgers", but that's reasonable, don't you think? Check your facts next time.

BTW, a Hardee's "Thick Burger" tastes pretty good; nutritionally, it won't be any worse than your meal, except possibly the lack of avocado and too much salt (depends on how much salt you put in yours). Yours will probably have more calories than, say, a Bacon Cheese Thick Burger (at 910 calories (62% from fat), 24g saturated fat and 1490mg sodium) (compare with the "Monster Thickburger" at 1410 calories (68% from fat), 45g saturated fat, and 2740 mg sodium).

You are allowed to use a competitor's trademark in advertising, as long as you're truthful and not using their name in a misleading way. It doesn't require any sort of agreement. There are various rules that you have to follow when making statements such as "four out of five dentists choose ..." under false advertising laws, but that doesn't mean you can't name names.

There are many career frontiers for US workers to explore and even prosper in.

Yes, that's true. Burger flipping is the hottest growing career in the United States right now. People are exploring and even prospering in the art of burger flipping. People can even learn their skills of burger flipping at Hamburger University, too.

So for those Americans whose IT jobs have been just shipped to India or China, stop yo' whining. Get off the couch and walk to the nearest McDonalds. You can have a future in burger flipping waiting for you.

---Ronald McDonald.

We can all always go work in the food service industry!!!

Try this one :)
http://www.media.mcdonalds.com/secured/company/tra ining/

http://www.mcdonalds.com/corp/career/hamburger_uni versity.html/

A certain minority of Americans are inventing new illnesses in order to avoid work.

The economic miracle that was started off by Ronald Reagan in the 80s, and continued through the George Bush Sr and Clinton administrations is one the wonders of the modern world. The solid economic base of Amreica, coupled with the explosion of the American designed world-wide-web and Internet have created opportunities for all regardless of education, race, sex or class. Anyone in America who wants a job will be able to take their pick from a selection of attractive and highly paid positions due to the strength of the American economy.

So why is it then that the middle classes have taken to faking diseases and why are otherwise respectable physicians joining in this collective fraud ?

Dyslexia, M.E., Attention Deficit Disorder, Repetitive Strain Injury, Anorexia. You have probably heard of these diseases before. At least one of your co-workers has probably taken time off work for one of these 'illnesses' in the last month. And yet, up until now no evidence has been produced to support the existence of any these afflictions as actual medical conditions. Let's analyse these 'sicknesses' one by one.

• Dyslexia. This is the 'diagnosis' given to a middle class child who cannot read owing to low intelligence. It is an attempt to medicalize a problem which in reality is a social one: All men are not created equal. When God gave out the brains, some of us were fortunate enough to be given a shiny new BMW 7-Series sedan, some of us got '97 5.0 Mustang, and some of us (the unfortunate few) got nothing more than an old skateboard.
  
  Dyslexia does not exist. Stupid children who cannot read do exist.
• M.E. (also known as the 'yuppie flu'). Again the middle classes cannot stomach the fact that they are not superhuman beings. Consequently when one of them needs to take a day off work, due to being what normal people would call "tired" they medicalize the problem (by giving it a long medical-sounding name) and hey-presto you can get all the time off work you want. Not bad for simply being tired. I wonder what our forefathers who built America by the sweat of their brows would say to a modern yuppie suffering from M.E. ?
  
  M.E. does not exist. People who need to go to bed a bit earlier do exist.
• Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). This one is quite sinister. For thousands of years, children were allowed to be carefree spirits, wandering wherever the mood took them. Investigating a world which is new and fresh to them, getting distracted when something more interesting came along. This was cal

[sings]Two All-Beef Patties, Special Sauce, Lettuce, Cheese, Pickles, Onions, on a Sesame-Seed Bun[/sings](emphasis added)

Wait, did I miss something? No ... cheese comes on the BigMac so adding extra cheese to it should cost more. Now, $0.50 seems a bit much, but maybe you live in NYC. Or Montreal, where $0.50 doesn't go as far as it does even in NYC. At any rate, adding 'value' should cost something.

Additionally, McDonald's does indeed sell the Quarter Pounder, sans cheese (see http://app.mcdonalds.com/bagamcmeal?process=item&i temID=6 for details). Maybe the people working in the McDonald's near you are stupid, but that does occasionally happen; they should charge you the QP price if you ask for a QP w/cheese, no cheese.

However ...

None of this is at all relevant. McDonald's doesn't have a monopoly on fast food, and can't require food-sellers to sell only with-cheese sandwiches. In order for your analogy to work, McDonald's would have to control nearly all food-service distribution by supplying, say, all the innards for sandwiches (food service is a bad analogy for this, period, but you brought it up ...). If McDonald's had exclusive sales agreements for all food service establishments, and required that all of their sandwiches be made with McDonald's cheese, and that customers couldn't 1) buy cheeseless sandwiches and 2) could only buy sandwiches ... well, it still doesn't work.

It used to be that any reputable (well, "major") PC maker was required by Microsoft to sell their hard wares with a pre-installed OS provided by Microsoft. There have been occasional exceptions (Dell was selling PCs with Linux pre-installed a while ago; may still be for all I know ... I don't shop Dell), but most major consumer-level, pre-packaged and pre-installed PC makers sell their computers only with Windows. In theory, you can return the OS un-used, but all PC makers I'm familiar with require you to communicate refund requests to Microsoft, who then "conveniently" return you to the PC maker for help. The PC maker won't (usually) sell you a bare PC, and Windows is the only OS they offer. Since you can't request the PC come without Windows, and you can't get a refund for using it, you're stuck paying $100+ for software you neither want nor use. And that is how American-style Capitalism works ... er, and that is the difference between McDonalds and Microsoft.

You are thinking of a degree from here: http://www.mcdonalds.com/corp/career/hamburger_uni versity.html
-aiabx

The best temperature for drinking coffee is about 60 degrees. At this temperature you can drink the coffee and not worry about scalding your mouth and the throat. Some companies serve coffee at 90+ degrees, which is unfit for consumption. If you drink one sip of that coffee, you will immediately harm youself and will need medical attention. If you will force yourself to drink the whole cup of 90+ degrees hot coffee, you may die or at least require a throat transplant.

This is not always the case.

1 lb of fat = 3500 calories.

Most humans use up about 2000 calories a day.

So, you need 40 lbs * 3500 calories = 140,000 extra calories over 30 days = 4667 additional calories a day (above your 2000 or so needed), so let's say 6667 calories a day.

Using their nutrition table, let's pick:

Breakfast:

• Deluxe Breakfast 1220 calories
• Vanilla Triple Thick® Shake (32 fl oz cup) 1110 calories

• Double Quarter Pounder® with Cheese 730 calories
• Another Double Quarter Pounder® with Cheese 730 calories
• Vanilla Triple Thick® Shake (32 fl oz cup) 1110 calories

Total: 7470 calories a day, for a total gain of 46.8 lbs.

So it is possible.

Blegh, I feel sick.

Get a camera and shoot stuff like what you see here.

Or give up with the art and get a job here.

Get a camera and shoot stuff like what you see here.

Or give up with the art and get a job here.

The thing about blogs is that I think it was a really obvious idea. There were loads and loads of people doing webpages, updated daily, when the blogging concept took hold. For instance, when I relaunched my website around 2000, I had my designer build a custom database so that I could easily post content from a webpage. Then blogs started getting big, and even though I didn't call my site a blog, it had a huge amount of characteristics in common with blogs.

I think the most important story about blogs is the emergence of back-end software like movabletype and wordpress. No longer were the developers of content stuck with the obvious kludge of using Frontpage or some other mediocre web site creator to post daily content. Wordpress and its ilk lets you post content, and incorporate a bunch of useful blog-related features, without reinventing the wheel.

But, as I said, I just don't find the "blog" concept that interesting. It's an obvious concept that was being practiced by thousands of websites long before somebody tacked the repulsive-sounding name "blog" on what they were doing.

In my eyes, far more interesting than blogs is the emerging iPodder concept. Here, people are adopting the very same tools used in blogs (wordpress, movabletype, etc), and using them to attach mp3 files of radio shows to the Internet. Internet radio has been around for a while, but the iPodder concept that taps into RSS sites is incredibly interesting.

To put it another way, blogs made me yawn and say, "I've already been doing this for months." Whereas podcasts made me say, "This is truly revolutionary. We finally have a way for individual content creators to break the Clear Channel hegemony."

Two months ago there were fewer than fifty podcasted radio shows. Now there are well over 200. I've been having a great time doing mine, which I post to a RSS feed for users of ipodder, and post to my website for people who visit it regularly.

One last comment on podcasting. There is a huge but limited number of people who want to surf the web or fire up their RSS feeder to read a variety of blogs. That circle of people draws from a very different population than those who want to listen to radio shows. And shows like mine can offer compelling content that there's a big demand for, but that traditional advertisers would boycott. The real news about the democratization of media isn't happening at a third annual blogging conference; it's happening right now with the emergence of ipodder radio shows.

A Cyber-Ethics Champion Code with items such as

I look for the copyright symbol (©) whenever I add a new program or game to my computer.

Why? First of all, use of the mark is now optional, at least in the U.S. Second, the mark itself doesn't explain to the child (or anyone else) whether or not a program may be copied (e.g., GPL'd software is copyrighted). The license does. Which leads us to...

I know that the copyright owner gets to decide how many times a software program can be copied. That means I can't copy the software that is running on my home computer unless the license for that program says I can.

So the assumption is that a child young enough to be attracted to the weasel-ferret-whatever mascot will read and understand the license agreements included with his or her software? Perhaps the BSA wants to donate to some sort of fund for early legal education?

I guess the problem I have with all this is, there's currently a lot of controversy surrounding free software, copyright, patents, and other "intellectual property" issues, and if we're not prepared to educate our children about the issues, we shouldn't allow the "voice of the world's commercial software industry" to do it for us, any more than we allow McDonald's to educate our children about nutrition. Oh, wait...

Dell operates on the same model as McDonald's. They do a little QC on the cheapest crap they can get their hands on and advertise. Most people, it seems, have been happy eating "downer cows". That and an economy built on pure service might be good enough for you, but I want the freedom to do more.

If you complain about outsourcing you're merely buying into politician's agendas ... Make great stuff and you don't need protectionism. And if you really value a free market, restrictions should be the last thing on your minds anyway.

No, I don't buy it and yes I demand free markets.

The real protectionism is in "IP" laws. Restrictive licensing prevents people from actually rating Oracle's databases so comparison is impossible. Worse, I can't compete against Oracle if they get a bunch of bogus software patents. It is only that kind of government protection that makes the logistic headaches of outsourcing possible. In a free economy, most of the current big dumb companies would have been toppled by smaller smarter competition long ago.

As it is, the big dumb companies survive and feed off each other. The average American worker continues to suffer M$ desktops, mergers and layoffs while their overpaid executives pad their salaries with bonuses from all the money they have "saved" by eliminating their competition, auction proceeds and offshoring. The whole thing is a crock and represents the end of a long corporate looting spree.

The "service" economy was a lie. The US will quickly become a backwater if it fails to make things other people want. Some people were dumb enough to think that we could simply provide the world with "brains". The definition of "brains" is swiftly being reduced to ownership of ideas that citizens of other countries are increasingly having.

The ownership strategy is ultimately bankrupt. It amounts to enslavement of the rest of the world, a very unAmerican idea to begin with. It's also impractical. Our ability to level ownership taxes will die as other countries inherit and improve our former technical excellence.

The hogs running US mega corp and the US government could care less. They are getting theirs while the rest of us are getting the shaft.

I just checked a bottle of coke in the office fridge. It's 300 calories for 24oz. That's 12.5 calories per oz.

Now, a large Coke from McDonalds is 32oz, making it 400 calories even.

Big Mac meal, supersized is:

Big Mac: 600
Large Coke: 310 (from McDonald's site, because of ice?)
Large Fry: 520

Total: 1410 calories.

Someone mentioned a cup of lard is 1850 calories. Only 140 calories more then a supersized #1. Add a 12oz orange juice and it's even.

Stats (not for the faint of heart)

Actually, I am familiar with Supersize me and am surprised you would haul it out as a reference since it helps to prove my point. Spurlock uses the appeal to the absurd to try to make his point. Here are some examples:

1) He would always supersize his meal anytime it was offered to him. Apparently he believes that McDonald's customers have no free will at all and are forced to take every option offered to him. (By the way, I would love to have Spurlock as a customer of my business!)

2) Because Spurlock maintains that McDonald's "promotes a sedentary lifestyle" he avoided all exercise during the filming of the movie. Yet, no one can show where McDonald's encourages people not to exercise.

3) Spurlock's "typical" McDonald's breakfasts consists of two full breakfast meals (sandwich, hash browns and coffee) Ordering two full meals seems like an odd way to complain about a restaurant's portions.
Since you brought up SuperSize Me, are you aware of Soso Whaley's response to SuperSize Me, where she eat's nothing but McDonald's food for a month and looses weight and lowers her cholesterol? The difference, she make sensible choices and exercised some amount of responsibility in choosing what she ate.

By the way, since you claim the fast food industry goes out of their way to obscure heallth facts, could you site an example? Here's a counter example:
Nutrition info from McDonald's

Watch out for their french fries. They use beef flavoring (my emphasis):

Potatoes, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, natural flavor ( beef source), dextrose, sodium acid pyrophosphate (to preserve natural color). Cooked in partially hydrogenated vegetable oils (may contain partially hydrogenated soybean oil and/or partially hydrogenated corn oil and/or partially hydrogenated canola oil and/or cottonseed oil and/or sunflower oil and/or corn oil).

At this rate (2 Billion per day @ Hotmail), SPAM will overtake McDonald's in "count of persons served."

I'll take mine with ketchup, no mustard...

It is only edible by humans, I've never seen anything else touch my #2. And it never spoils (leave it out and it just gets hard, no mold, no green, no nothing!).

Culinary perfection.

Big Mac was tested in a small 128 node configuration as a prelude to the full 1100 nodes.

I like what you're thinking there....

This Goatse link brought to you by Imodium. WHERE WILL YOU BE WHEN YOUR DIARRHEA COMES BACK?
(I swear, that is the most graphic slogan I have ever heard...)

In Soviet Russia, YOU serve 3 Billion MCDONALDS

"I used to be a total crackhead, but ever since I got my /. account, I've been clean, I swear..." - TROLLING: My Anti-Drug

First, you have to obtain a copy of GAY NIGGERS FROM OUTER SPACE THE MOVIE and watch it. (You can download the movie (~280mb) using BitTorrent, by clicking here.

Second, you need to succeed in posting a GNAA "first post" on slashdot.org, a popular "news for trolls" website

Third, you need to join the official GNAA irc channel #GNAA on irc.gnaa.us, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the ops or any of the other members in the channel to sign up today!

If you are having trouble locating #GNAA, the official GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA irc channel, you might be on a wrong irc network. The correct network is Niggernet, and you can connect to irc.gnaa.us as our official server. If you do not have an IRC client handy, you are free to use the GNAA Java IRC