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get the Apple Care. That guy is a maniac.

Episode 1 [slashdot.org] : Microsoft is a failure

This was a great episode. We even got Steve Balmer to pretend he was Jar Jar Binks!

I Can't wait.

Come on MS when are you going to do it? :)

See it for yourself:

Here or Here too

That is named the MonkeyBoy Dance. Please remember this for future funny posts.

Reference 1, the original file was named dancemonkeyboy.mpg

You might be able to cobble something together with popfile and fetchmail, but it might be a bit ugly... IMAP is great if you read mail from several locations, along with OfflineIMAP if any of them are dial-up.

that may be tough, I don't know many women who would work for this guy.

He's not CEO tho, that's Monkey Boy. Billy G's Chief Software Architect and head of the board.

You can't patent business methods in the EU AFAIK.

You are right, you cannot patent business methods in the EU. Even the new directive being pushed through (EU residents, contact your MEP!) that may allow software patents excludes business methods.

Phillip.

Steve Balmers hot dance video Everytime I see that I think "wow that guy is a real psycho"

GIVE IT UP FOR MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! I Love This Compayeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

When he prances (ok maybe that's too delicate a word) across the stage he looks like a (really fat) upset beaver...and who chose the music.

At least if Jobs does it he'll have some better music (and won't make himslf look like a fat upset beaver).

Well, there has been some things.

Is it just me or do people just pull stuff straight from NTK without attribution and submit it to slashdot these days?
As seen in NTK

Does the lightcycles go faster than the space shuttle Columbia?

For a start, most of the Microsoft execs would be in jail. Let's see ... life without Ballmer ... Yep! Clearly better off.

Ballmer is well known for blowing a lot of hot air, so it's often hard to know What Exactly He's Really Saying.
From this I know you are incorrect.He's the most lucid and clear guy I've ever seen. He even repeats it just in case you don't understand.

Obligatory link to The Bastard Operator from Hell page.

According to these videos, perhaps Ballmer should consider the aquisition of a portion of this company. :-)

If your going to try to get cheap karma at least get it right.

Links to the Developers, Developers, Developers Steve Ballmer dance video.

Of his ADHD problem?

More links for the video

This whole thing is fucking sleazy, first the government runs an unpublicised "consultation exercise" which draws 1500 responses which are 2 to 1 in favour. Then El Reg and NTK run it on the front page, over 5000 people comment against it in a couple of days and the government appears to back down. Victory for the good guys, everyone can go back down the pub.

Well, until the government decided to lose all those irritating negative comments submitted through websites (including mine), leaving them with 2000 mostly favorable comments.

Like NTK said, "What's happened to their [my] comments? Do they count as one vote - a sort of giant Interweb representative? And if so, do we all get to use the same ID card?"

That's the British way of doing it, avoid messy things like public scrutiny, pay lip service to things like privicy and the Data Protection Act while quietly ignoring them. People can complain about the USA, but at least people there go to jail* when the government gets caught doing obviously illegal things. The Thatcher government used "national security" to cover up embarrassing things long before Bush discovered terrorism. Britain has a fair way to go before we can start condemnning other people.

*OK, they don't go to Federal-pound-you-in-the-ass-prison, and they tend to get out quickly, but at least they don't retire with a fucking pension like they do here.

This whole thing is fucking sleazy, first the government runs an unpublicised "consultation exercise" which draws 1500 responses which are 2 to 1 in favour. Then El Reg and NTK run it on the front page, over 5000 people comment against it in a couple of days and the government appears to back down. Victory for the good guys, everyone can go back down the pub.

Well, until the government decided to lose all those irritating negative comments submitted through websites (including mine), leaving them with 2000 mostly favorable comments.

Like NTK said, "What's happened to their [my] comments? Do they count as one vote - a sort of giant Interweb representative? And if so, do we all get to use the same ID card?"

That's the British way of doing it, avoid messy things like public scrutiny, pay lip service to things like privicy and the Data Protection Act while quietly ignoring them. People can complain about the USA, but at least people there go to jail* when the government gets caught doing obviously illegal things. The Thatcher government used "national security" to cover up embarrassing things long before Bush discovered terrorism. Britain has a fair way to go before we can start condemnning other people.

*OK, they don't go to Federal-pound-you-in-the-ass-prison, and they tend to get out quickly, but at least they don't retire with a fucking pension like they do here.

...the allure grew when I wanted to be a SysAdmin.

Muwahahaha

Root, God, What is difference?

OMG! What have you done?
As if blowing last week going through bofh's tales one more time was not enough, now I have yet another time waster on my hands!!

You would think /. would be the only time waster you would ever need!

...mention of the BOFH!!!

Another relevant fave found here.

The whole shebang.

Dilbert may teach skills at work-avoidance, but the BOFH teaches not only work avoided... but how to deal with those that insist on interrupting your nap-time.

yeah, but i bet she can't dance like monkey boy ballmer.

Actually, I think I'd be very disturbed if she did.

yeah, but i bet she can't dance like monkey boy ballmer.

Developers!

Could it be that people simply make up stats to put in their articles? You be the judge.

Through the magic of Google, here is a definitive list of what ~65% of IT managers thought, through the ages (of the net that is):

65% of IT managers report that their websites were unavailable to customers over a 6-month period

65% of IT managers surveyed by InformationWeek Research say Windows 2000 won't reduce their number of system administrators or related costs a year from now.

65% of IT managers said it's very important for vendors to offer consistent PC configurations over the course of a multiphase PC rollout.

Over 65% of IT Managers and CIOs in Southern California expected their level of hiring to remain the same or even increase in the post-Y2K age

67% of IT managers have been contacted by headhunters in the last year

67% of IT managers would rather pretend to understand an acronym than admit they didn't know what it meant. [tlu - here's one that sounds low to me]

66% of IT Managers have experienced "complete project failure" [tlu - hopefully not in bed]

(66%) of IT managers said the best solution for preventing monopolies in IT is a combination of moderate government regulation and market forces

Sadly, NTK report that they're in receivership. :-(

--

Clearly, you have not read enough BOFH. If someone decides to work late, you ensure that he can never leave the office again!

And what, really, is wrong with kicking everyone off the server at 10:30 AM and not getting the patch installed until 4:30?

Learn more user-control tips here.

I just read half of it (thanks to the earlier posting ;)

The book is quite amusing imho. While the authors clearly have a lot of experience in the computing world, it's obvious to see that most of their stories are based on users not knowing that they are doing. Especially the part where the bash bash (huhu) and other shells was fun reading. The book could just as well have been written by Simon Travaglia as a manual for his users.

This pdf is 3.5MB. I really wonder how big it's Windows counterpart will be. I'd say approx 35MB then.

Anybody else instantly reminded of that Iraqi Minister of Information? Coincidentally, Balmer should probably have warcrimes charges brought against him after he exploded into a greasy, unsightly ball of sweat and started prancing, excited having just learned a new word prior to going on stage.

Maybe the email was really from the BOFH.

BOFH (text version of present day comics) was there too. dont forget that. And all you needed was "tin" newsgroup reader.

Give them the title they so richly deserve, BOFH.

I've always wanted to be known as the Bastard Operator from Hell. After performing tech support for four years (through most of your teens), the name just draws you somehow.

Nah... just do what our mentor does. Snitch a few special emails, maybe plant a few webcams...

I wonder if there are actually any admins out there who get away for BOFH-like power?

I've got 14 words for you...

developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers

http://www.ntk.net/media/developers.mpg

BOFH = Bastard Operator From Hell.

something about ESR's site in last weeks ntk.

That sounds more like a bastard operator from hell story. You were locked in the tape safe with a serial killer, aka safety advisor.

this is the particular episode that I'm referring to.

Sounds like a newer BOFH. Also check out Gord a video game store owner.

How about the Bastard Operator From Hell? It's not quite a joke, but funny nonetheless. Especially for sysadmins.

They hear "disallow ... users ... installing software ... illegal ... company libel ..." and hear $ker$chink$. Anything technical . . . it's just deer in the headlights.

reminds me of the "stack overflow" described in one of the BOFH articles here

This is why your BOFH is who he/she is...he/she understands this technology and is thus the best person to make recomendations, so yes, we do deserve that fear and respect. would you ask a beancounter about marketing advice? no...

of course...when they decide on policy and end up getting bitten, we (the admins) are left holding the bag. none of the policy making power and all the responsibility...if that doesn't turn you into a true BOFH, nothing will.

-frozen

Why is it that a $300 billion some company isn't able to hire someone who check the with the trademark office to see if any of the crap they are using is already trade marked?

This is the same company that is unable to renew domain names or renew privacy registrations. Regardless of opinions about software, its admin definitely sucks.

Microsoft lawyers may be able to either stall it, get it reviewed, or even get it overturned. That's the way the law works. Likewise, there may be other avenues outside of the Courts that Microsoft may take.

Such as guerilla commando raids?

Or gorilla commando raids (Monkey-boy Ballmer leads attack on Sun)?

Or maybe just gorilla Komando raids?

GF.

Suppose a wealthy rapist rapes a woman and as punishment, he has to pay some amount of money. He then goes and continue raping as he pleases.

Now that gives me an idea as to what should be a fair and equitable solution to this problem.

PROTECT OUR TENDER WOMANHOOD FROM DISGUSTING EXHIBITIONISTS!
CASTRATE THE DANCING MONKEYBOY TODAY!

Yahoo is responsible for the word "medireview". Their policy of mangling users' email behind their backs makes me recommend strongly against them. Just search google for "reviewuate -yahoo" to see the kind of damage they have done.

Take a look at this. MS is trying to buy web programmers that understand XML/SGML/HTML so Ballmer can brainwash them. He will do the monkey dance until they fall into submission.