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Thank God this is finally coming up to the surface. The manner in which scientific research is conducted today is outright embarrassing.

I just graduated with an undergraduate physics degree last week, and after working two summers in separate research labs, I have virtually no desire to seek a higher degree in my subject. The manner in which some graduate students are treated is terrible.* There's no way that I can justify subjecting myself to poverty-level wages during the prime years of my life.

As much as I hate to say it, graduate students need some sort of union or organized labor movement. They literally form the backbone of all major academic research labs, and are treated (and paid) like dirt. Postdocs have an even more miserable existence.

(It's worth mentioning here that is a depressingly accurate portrayal of academia in general)

Of course, you could also discuss the effects this has on the research itself quite extensively. In short, it can't be good. The most experienced individuals (ie. tenured professors) are almost entirely removed from the research itself.

Unfortunately, I now have a rather worthless undergraduate degree.

*I've seen it both ways. The first lab I worked in treated its students far better than the second, although the pay was still abysmal. However, I don't see many options for students who are paired with abusive research advisors, given dead-end projects, or otherwise treated unfairly.

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1175

The Science News Cycle.

The latest Piled Higher & Deeper comic is very relevant.

Thus, this comic seems terribly appropriate (PhD Comics ftw): http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1174

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics.php

May I recommend this comic? http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive/phd042009s.gif

Of course, PHD comics supports this trend.

Use GPeerReview to sign the review. (It will add a hash of the paper to your review, then it will use GPG to digitally sign the review.)

Here's where everything will fall apart. When almost all faculty members I know (except the math and some CS ones) act like this, I can hardly see how they won't bungle it up.

Getting back to his Why's:

Peer reviews give credibility to an author's work.

We already have it.

Journals and conferences can use this tool to indicate acceptance of a paper.

Bad idea. This will easily devolve into a numbers game. Paper X has 20 signatures approving it, with 5 of them at Level Zen. Paper Y has only 10 signatures approving it, with most being at Level Neophyte. We'll take X and reject Y.

Think I'm exaggerating? Go observe people talk about impact factors. In some disciplines, they've begun to take this quite seriously when hiring ("Sure he had 8 papers during his PhD - but all published in papers with IF less than 4. Reject!").

Researchers can also give credibility to each other by reviewing each others' works.

I can see this being useful. If there's a central repository where people can submit and sign their reviews for the world to see, it could be great. Realistically, though, faculty members won't do it without incentives - their lives are busy enough.

Besides, a lot of academia is back scratching. Friends will give positive reviews frequently. Enemies will trash it. There is a reason current peer review is anonymous (at least one way).

This enables researchers to publish first, and review later.

Eh? You mean just to get feedback? Isn't that what Arxiv.org is for?

It meshes seamlessly with existing publication venues. Even the credibility of works that have already been published can be enhanced by obtaining additional peer reviews.

Same complaint as above. "Candidate A has a number of publications in good journals, but candidate B has more online hashed reviews. B wins!". Unless a mechanism can come up where B won't bribe people to provide friendly reviews, this will fall apart. Academics are already over aggressive about getting citations, and this will just be the next stage.

I know I'm cynical, but I advocate less reliance on numerics in judging quality than there is in the current system. Not more.

Isn't it what happens most of the time? http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1069

I know you're joking, but wanted to allay a common misconception.

A Ph. D. doesn't work that way, and however helpful intelligence might be to getting one, it isn't sufficient alone. You also need a large degree of tolerance for absurdity. Actually, I've found Ph. D. comics to be a pretty accurate portrayal of the sort of stuff that goes on in grad. school and academia.

If you think that's worth looking at... how about this? http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1121

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=562

As a Lab TA, I have always wanted to do this.

Research Diagram/Research Reality

First I will add a plug for https://www.bloglines.com/ â" RSS feeds where ever I can log in, via HTTPS. Great for those feeds I read whenever & everywhere; and for those I only check when waiting to board the airplane. In my bloglines collection I have around 400 feeds, which will grow after looking through these threads. :) Some selections that hopefully no one else has mentioned:

Amusement:
http://failblog.wordpress.com/feed/
All about the Fail

http://lolbots.com/?feed=rss2
Robots making the LOLz, though not updated often.

http://lolgeeks.com/?feed=rss2
Geeks making the LOLz, though not updated often.

The latest limerick database entries - http://peeron.com/tickers/limerickdb.xml

The Triumph of Bullshit - http://bullshit.tumblr.com/rss

Diesel Sweeties by R Stevens - http://www.dieselsweeties.com/ds-unifeed.xml

PHD Comics - http://www.phdcomics.com/gradfeed.php
Ever spent time in academia? You will relate to this web comic.

Unshelved - http://www.unshelved.com/rss.aspx
A web comic about a library. Ssssshhhuusshh!

Indexed - http://indexed.blogspot.com/atom.xml
Take two (or more) topics and compare them using graphs & charts â" full of insight & lolz.

Computerworld Shark Tank News - http://feeds.computerworld.com/Computerworld/Shark/Tank
Many stories, full of humor and face palm

Overheard in the Office - http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/atom.xml
Instead of what was overheard in New York, now worldwide and from your office.

Common geek topics (those blogs that seem to hit all the topics days or weeks before you see them on Slashdot):
Didnt You Hear... http://www.didntyouhear.com/feed/

The Daily WTF - http://thedailywtf.com/rss.aspx

Global Nerdy - http://globalnerdy.com/feed/

Shopping:
http://content.dealnews.com/dealnews/rss/todays-edition.xml
Many of those geek toys you need

Newegg.com daily deals: http://www.newegg.com/Product/ProductList.aspx?Submit=DailyDeals&nm_mc=OTC-RSS
Need I say more?

Slickdeals: http://www.slickdeals.net/rss.php
Need I say more?

Woot! http://www.woot.com/blog/rss.aspx

Dumb political stuff:
Homeland Stupidity: http://feeds.feedburner.com/HomelandStupidity
Government gaffes, bureaucratic blunders and incumbent incompetence

Groklaw: http://www.groklaw.net/backend/GrokLaw.rdf

Declan McCullagh's Politech http://www.politechbot.com/info/rss/politech.xml
Also not updated often, but on target when it is.

Cryptome: http://cryptome.org/cryptome.xml
You can get lost here for hours

Music:
House of Blues: http://hob.com/venues/clubvenues/lasvegas/
The RSS feed for the local House of B

Actually, in a world where everyone must battle for research funding, 'real science' works a bit like this :
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=761

This is truly the case. In my lab, we have no expectations for the undergrads. In fact, undergrads tend to slow down the people around them more than help them. Many graduate students do not like working with undergrads for this very reason. This is not universally true, but this is the expectation that will likely be placed upon you at your arrival.

This is both a curse and an opportunity. It sucks because you will be given little real work to do. It is likely that you will lack the deep scientific knowledge to do the clever work and lack the experience to do the grunt work efficiently. However, if you work your butt off at the beginning, you just might impress somebody, which is where the opportunity comes in. Nobody expects you to be useful. If you prove yourself useful (or better yet, creative), you can parlay that lab position into a magnificent lab experience and great job references.

My advice? You are not special (yet), so don't act like it. Learn humility and proper lab technique but don't ever let a grad student take credit for your work when it works out correctly. Academic labs are meritocracies, so as long as you do good work, the rest will follow.

Most importantly, read Ph.D. Comics because it is all true.

post-bachelor disorder

First of all, realize you're starting out at the bottom of the food chain, which means you're probably going to get all of the grunt work that no one else wants to do.

The agenda of a research lab typically revolves around its director(s). Everyone will be working on their own individual projects (all of which have been detailed in the grant the faculty member was awarded 5 years previously), but you can always approach someone who is working on something similar to you for help, should you require it. Most will probably be glad to help you. The environment is less formal and more close-knit than that in the corporate world.

Most time spent in the lab is rather dull. The exception to this is the month of January, because that's when conference paper deadlines tend to occur. Think of it as a punctuated equilibrium. If you know that the professor wants to submit a paper on one of the projects you're working on, start preparing a paper early, before he even mentions the conference, because if he's anything like mine, he won't mention the conference until two days before the deadline.

Don't expect fair apportion of credit, adherence to some glowing paragon of scientific method, or even basic integrity to abound. Most beliefs that outsiders hold about academia are false. In general, I'd advise going into the process with a healthy dose of cynicism.

Oh, and everything in PhD Comics is true.

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=761 <-- relevant.

I also duel boot windows / linux,

I myself am solely Debian-only, but I imagine duel booting goes something like this ...

Linux had been growing in popularity on the desktop for the last — well, even more than a decade, if you go back to his attempt for primary school captain — and felt it was time. Windows needed to be dealt with, finally. He accused Windows of improper behavior — changing file formats and systems and network protocols just so that Linux would be unable to read them — and threw a stone at the nearest window, breaking it. The insult was unmistakable.

Linux appointed his second: a grubby young boy named Chaine Loda. A few years ago it would've been Lilo, but he was past his prime nowadays. Windows had NTLDR. The seconds did their work well: the duel would take place at dawn exactly tomorrow morning, where the Murray and Berly Rivers join: The set out immediately by train.

Throughout the night, Windows slept soundly, confident that the upstart had come in a bit to soon. It would be easy; Windows was not the fastest shooter any more, but he was still far better than Linux. And it would be a synch for Windows to buy a better gun than Linux could possibly dream of.

And indeed, Linux was worried he had made the wrong choice. Surely Windows needed to be brought down, but he was the best bet and if he mis-stepped — but no point in dwelling on it. He spent the night upgrading his home-made gnu, which was now at a point where it was the rival of any. It still looked a bit plain around the joins, but surely the design and execution — he regretted thinking that word the moment he had — were excellent. Linux did not sleep that night, but he rarely did so it did not bother him much. He would be at the peak of his form, and Windows would be groggy, without the sleep shaken out of him.

And, well, it was almost dawn. Linux was prepared. Windows had slept well, got up, and stood in his corner. The seconds checked the weapons, agreed they were acceptible, and gave them to the duellers. The sun rose: two shots were fired, almost simultaneously. There was a winner.

The pain was unbearable. Linux felt the blood mixing with his piss. He could hardly move. Windows had won, and booted. The only consolation was he knew there would be another chance tomorrow; it is hard to kill bits and bytes and, after all, he did lose a couple of times a week. Whenever that stupid user wanted to play games or test his website in that awful web browser...

And we all know the power of, The Graph!

the problem is to find one of the aforementioned phd chicks dumb enough

Rob, You talked about how XKCD and other comics are high up on your list of external websites to go to. Could I make the recomendation that you add them to the 'Funnies' slashbox? It seems to have been years since any links have been added (though maybe I'm the only one left who still uses it....) If you put your favorite webcomics onto it, I know I'd like to check out what you like. And if I can add my own $0.02 http://www.xkcd.com/, http://schlockmercenary.com/, and http://www.phdcomics.com/ are all 'geek' enough they would do well on the funnies slashbox.

I am an European immigrant myself. US guys are smarter, they go for an MBA,MD or a law degree and cash in afterwards.

A PhD in science/engineering takes time, tremendous work and dedication. And if your PhD is not in computer science you will be very likely have difficulties to find a job.
Nice comics:
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive/phd090707s.gif
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive/phd091207s.gif
I have a biotech/nanotech engineering background (MS, PhD) and was not able to find a job and now I took a low paying job. Years of my life, wasted for nothing. My current plan: Since I won't be able to afford a house here and save for retirement I will just try to pay off my debts and then go for the pacific region. In the long run I will have better options there.


PhD? Waste of time!

I am an European immigrant myself. US guys are smarter, they go for an MBA,MD or a law degree and cash in afterwards.

A PhD in science/engineering takes time, tremendous work and dedication. And if your PhD is not in computer science you will be very likely have difficulties to find a job.
Nice comics:
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive/phd090707s.gif
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive/phd091207s.gif
I have a biotech/nanotech engineering background (MS, PhD) and was not able to find a job and now I took a low paying job. Years of my life, wasted for nothing. My current plan: Since I won't be able to afford a house here and save for retirement I will just try to pay off my debts and then go for the pacific region. In the long run I will have better options there.


PhD? Waste of time!

While all the reasons you give are valid for writing "...beyond the scope of this paper," I would venture to say that, by FAR the most usual reason is the one given by the GP.

See the Academese->English translator.

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comici d=877

I see this every day. For real.

Does it surprise anybody that grad students are treated this way? Its a norm. http://www.phdcomics.com/ - funny because it's true.

Although I've already seen at least one post to PhD comics, I figured I'd post another since it fits your title so well: Thesis Titles

A law for procrastination was found centuries ago.

There is a nice tribute at Piled Higher & Deeper:
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comici d=807

Today's PHD comic pays a tribute to Ando.

How many C programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They forgot to declare it.
(from http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comici d=607)

Sorry, this is a PhD we're talking about, right?

There's a great resource here that will tell you everything you need to know!

I think this one may fit better http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comici d=717

Good one.

For fans of PhD Comics, Mark Cutkosky was artist Jorge Cham's advisor.

Haha, I love it,
Generally speaking, there is a simple rule in "non CS" departments:

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive/phd1112.gi f
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive/phd1113.gi f
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive/phd1114.gi f

Haha, I love it,
Generally speaking, there is a simple rule in "non CS" departments:

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive/phd1112.gi f
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive/phd1113.gi f
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive/phd1114.gi f

Haha, I love it,
Generally speaking, there is a simple rule in "non CS" departments:

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive/phd1112.gi f
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive/phd1113.gi f
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive/phd1114.gi f

I think PhD comics is pretty funny too. http://www.phdcomics.com/

"Faith without works is about as useless as a screen door on a submarine."

Well, although I do not work on a buisness environment, I can tell you that, the Weekly meetings with my "boss" give me shudders.

You may find an explaniation here

I'm surprised nobody's mentioned User Friendly. Also on my list are Queen of Wands (which finished its several-year run, and is now doing a rapid-fire rerun with commentary), Something Positive, Applegeeks (which just finished an uncharacteristic Batman parody and is now resuming its normal staples of inappropriate behavior and Ramadan jokes), and Mac Hall (unrelated, at least in name, to Apple Macs). For the grad students among us, may I recommend Piled Higher and Deeper; more so for those who are considering grad school.

Less traditionally, we also have Lore Brand Comics, which is pretty much standup in webcomic form. Alas, it hasn't been updated in months, but the archive is certainly worth looking through. Paradox Lost appears to be a comic book being written in webcomic form.

Other people mentioned them, but I have to say some of my favorites are Real Life and MegaTokyo.

the hot, loose women in the engineering field

Such as the women here? :)

There is an Outside. BELIEVE in the Outside.

Somehow... you almost made me cry (or I am making a PhD you Insensitive clod)

And so, here is my obligatory list of favorite webcomics that weren't mentioned: PhD, Real Life, Applegeeks.