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Simpsons 2F17, Radioactive Man:

Nelson, Ralph, and Martin watch a man paint black patches on a white horse.

Martin: Uh, Sir, why don't you just use real cows?
Painter: Cows don't look like cows on film. You gotta use horses.
Ralph: What do you do if you want something that looks like a horse?
Painter: Ehh, usually we just tape a bunch of cats together.

Many disagree with you as to whether these things are or should be rights. Some believe that people should be left to starve or freeze to death if they are unwilling or unable to work. (This viewpoint is not uniquely American.)

Deriding people who hold such views for their lack of compassion is non-productive. To win them over, it may be more effective to show how helping the poor benefits them - if indeed it does. For example, public health care benefits everyone who has direct or indirect contact with the public - even the rich - through the prevention of epidemics.

In the Simpsons, the local school puts on a play ("The Nice Man Giveth") to show Mr Burns the personal value of education, when poorly-educated students accidentally serve him rat poison, can't read a map to drive him to hospital, and fail to operate correctly on him. While it does not work in that particular instance, perhaps those who seek funding from the public could do a better job of explaining why the public should care.

I know I have heard this before...

"You're it."
"Now you are the one who is it."
"Understood."

"Well, I've got to hand it to you, Seymour: this no touching policy has created the perfect distraction-free environment, thus preparing the children for permanent positions in tomorrow's mills and processing facilities. Hah!

"Best of all, with less than a minute to go before I leave, absolutely nothing has gone wrong --"

Actually, they might have foiled a terrorist plot without our ever finding out about it, because if or when a system is working as intended, the tendency is only natural to not notice what it is doing. The lack of any evidence to show that they have foiled any terrorist effort, therefore, is logically insufficient basis to presume that they have not actually possibly done so.

Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.

What about Ray Bradbury?

Homer: America, take a good look at your beloved candidates. They're nothing but hideous space reptiles. [unmasks them]
[audience gasps in terror]
Kodos: It's true, we are aliens. But what are you going to do about it? It's a two-party system; you have to vote for one of us.
[murmurs]
Man1: He's right, this is a two-party system.
Man2: Well, I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate.
Kang: Go ahead, throw your vote away.
[Kang and Kodos laugh out loud]
[Ross Perot smashes his "Perot 96" hat]

Marge: I don't understand why we have to build a ray gun to aim at a planet I never even heard of.
Homer: Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.

I don't see the problem. Problems like these have already been considered by the experts

When the pigeons become a pest, we just release some Bolivian tree lizards. If those become a nuisance, we simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards. If you have a problem with snakes, well, we've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat. And the beautiful part of /that/ plan is, when wintertime rolls around the gorillas simply freeze to death!

See? Nature will find a way! So clone, my little mad scientists, clone like you have never cloned before!

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/4F21
"The wars of the future will not be fought on the battlefield or at sea.
They will be fought in space, or possibly on top of a very tall
mountain. In either case, most of the actual fighting will be done by
small robots. And as you go forth today remember always your duty is
clear: To build and maintain those robots. Thank you."

"Since the beginning of time man has yearned to destroy the sun."

(Excellent.)

In Bart Gets Hit By A Car

      Burns: I'm going to write a figure on this piece of paper. It's not quite
                    as large as the last one, but I think you'll find it fair.
                    [draws a giant zero]
      Hutz: I think we should take it.

...You know, if I had a way to pick the pockets of fat cats while giving me the time to spend volunteering in third world countries or doing explorative expeditions - I just might.

Oh, here we go with the fat cat bashing.

Well, what do you expect? These yokels are pure Baltic Avenue. Heh-heh. [looks at watch] Uh-oh! I'm late for the Short Line Railroad!

Frink:
Why it's the AT-5000 Auto-Dialer. My very first patent.
Aw, would you listen to the gibberish they've got you saying, it's sad and alarming.
You were designed to alert schoolchildren about snow days and such.
Well, let's get you home to Frinky. Hope your wheels still work, bw-hey.

Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/5F22 Bart the mother

Not to forget very big bomb, dropped from very high altitude to achieve the required speed for penetration, well, you don't have to destroy it you just have to make it miss.

What I've been wondering since I first hear about these "new bombs" that would be able to get at Iran's enrichment facilities?

It's similar to the thought experiment, "Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that He Himself couldn't eat it?"

Are we creating munitions which, if they fall into the wrong hands, would be able to take out the sitting US President, in the bunker below the White House?

The other thing I heard recently that saddens me is that my country is about to bomb the second country starting with "Ira" which has announced that it will sell oil for a currency other than gold. (Iraq said Euros, then we bombed them; Iran just said gold, and we're about to bomb them.)

An office suite can't be "small" and "lightweight" and have all "the pro features I might need, too." You sound just like Agnes in Simpson Safari: you want all your groceries in one bag, but you don't want the bag to be heavy.

You can get lightweight, fast office software; for example, you can use AbiWord for your word processing needs. But it doesn't have every feature under the sun, and if it did have every pro feature anybody "might need" it wouldn't be lightweight.

Hello, this is Homer Simpson, a.k.a. Happy Dude. The court has ordered me to call every person in town to apologize for my telemarketing scam. I'm sorry. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, send one dollar to Sorry Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. You have the power.


Face it, if they're spamming you they're scamsters and don't respect you. eg Congress

"Space coyote?"

El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Homer

How did this get marked insightful!? I'm pretty sure the Mormon Police aren't real and if they are, I have no special insight into them. It was a Simpsons joke. I guess season 9 was before the moderator's time. Instead of making me feel insightful, your moderation has made me feel old.

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/2F12.html

Kent: Ladies and gentlemen, er, we've just lost the picture, but, uh, what we've seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has been taken over -- "conquered", if you will -- by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive earth men or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain, there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/1F13.html

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/2F12.html

Kent: Ladies and gentlemen, er, we've just lost the picture, but, uh, what we've seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has been taken over -- "conquered", if you will -- by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive earth men or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain, there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/1F13.html

ah, you mean Super Nintendo Chalmers ...

Actually, that was a terrible reference. This is a more specific and appropriate one. Or maybe another attempt to make you click one of my links. MWAHAHAHA!

Freedom! Horrible, horrible freedom!

I think this is the part where we welcome our insectoid walled-garden overlords.

(Reference, for the Simpsons-challenged among you.)

Vent gas? King Size Homer anyone?

Interesting.

I'm sure that this movie will have just about as much to do with real life as any "made for TV movie" ever has.

Of course, after the way Wikileaks shifted from simply releasing data, to massively editorializing and chopping things up to suit their own slant (especially that horribly butchered video), they basically have no credibility left anyways.

Troll? Really? Since when does Slashdot give mod points to humor-impaired users who have never seen The Simpsons? *sigh* I must be getting old.

Yeah, and it doesn't address the fact that if there is a god, there's no reason why it should be the judeochristian god, either. Even Homer Simpson understood that (in Homer the Heretic):

"And what if we picked the wrong religion? Every week, we're just making God madder and madder!"

Will this open up a whole new trade in sugar smuggling? I hope so just for the comedic benefit.

What, people swallowing condoms full of sugar to mule into the country, only to have them burst while waiting in customs, inducing a blood-sugar rush making them go hyperactive until they fall into diabetic shock, coma, and/or death?

Or just for the comedic benefit of potential The Simpsons references?

Anybody else read this article and get instantly reminded of the Simpsons episode where Homer became an astronaut?

Episode 1F13 for those who wish to remember.

its actually forFty percent... Homer: Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forfty percent of all people know that. http://www.snpp.com/episodes/1F09.html

Homer: Somebody had to take the babysitter home. Then I noticed she was
              sitting on [splice] her sweet [splice] can. [splice] -- o I grab
              her -- [splice] sweet can. [splice] Oh, just thinking about
              [splice] her [splice] can [splice] I just wish I had he --
              [splice] sweet [splice] sweet [splice] s-s-sweet [splice] can.
Jones: So, Mr. Simpson: you admit you grabbed her can. What do you have
              to say in your defense?
Homer: [looking lustful in a clearly-paused VCR shot]
Jones: Mr. Simpson, your silence will only incriminate you further.
                [paused shot of Homer grows larger]
              No, Mr. Simpson, don't take your anger out on me. Get back! Get
              back! Mist -- Mr. Simpson -- nooo!
    Man: [quickly] Dramatization -- may not have happened.

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/2F06.html

Well, it depends, though. Some people attribute the success of Linux to GPL. (see here, 3rd or 4th question) Obviously, the success of F/OSS isn't entirely due to Linux, but I'd wager it's helped more than not.

Linux might have thrived just as much under a different license, but that's not what happened. But beyond speculation, can you really argue that one anti-copyright-lawyer-shark rock would have worked better than another?

also:

Later, a full-force Bear Patrol is on watch. Homer watches proudly.

Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.
Lisa: That's spacious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, dear.
Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
Homer: Oh, how does it work?
Lisa: It doesn't work.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: It's just a stupid rock.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: But I don't see any tigers around, do you?
[Homer thinks of this, then pulls out some money]
Homer: Lisa, I want to buy your rock.
[Lisa refuses at first, then takes the exchange]

(http://www.snpp.com/episodes/3F20.html)
:D

"It's impossible for me to fire a pistol. If you'll check me medical records, you'll see I have a cripplin' arthritis in me index fingerrrs. Look at 'em! I got it from "Space Invaders" in 1977."

"Aw, yeah. That was a pretty addictive video game."

"Video game?"

(From Episode 2F20, "Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part 2. Like you needed me to tell you that. Honestly, I could sneeze around here and it would only start an argument as to whether it was a quote from Futurama or Firefly.)

For praising the machine.

Whoosh.

I never should have had that trendy laser surgery. It was great at first but, you know, at the ten-year mark your eyes fall out.

Six good years of eyesight later, I started to develop an abnormality in my right now. Now, in my early thirties, I've been diagnosed with keratoconus in my right eye, and I might possibly have it in my left.

"I never should have had that trendy laser surgery. It was great at first but, you know, at the ten-year mark your eyes fall out."
 
Damn, who knew that Ned Flanders was right!

Dr. Foster: Would you please tell your son to stop?
Ned's Dad: We can't do it, man! That's discipline! That's like tellin' Gene Krupa not to go [starts banging on the desk] "boom boom bam bam bam, boom boom bam bam bam, boom boom boom bam ba ba ba ba, da boo boo tss!" We don't believe in rules, like, we gave them up when we started livin' like freaky beatniks!
Dr. Foster: You don't believe in rules, yet you want to control Ned's anger.
Ned's Mom: Yeah. You gotta help us, Doc. We've tried nothin' and we're all out of ideas.

Simpsons, "Hurricane Neddy"

You seem to have missed the references:

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/4F01.html

http://www.snpp.com/guides/springfield.list.html

You seem to have missed the references:

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/4F01.html

http://www.snpp.com/guides/springfield.list.html

While we're at it, let's require all thieves to leave their business card in the place of any item they steal.

Simpsons already did it.

It's easy as pie:

Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/5F22

Solar Bullet LLC has already built trains in Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and by golly it put them on the map!

I could hear the "whoosh!" of that "offtopic" moderation from here! cf: http://www.snpp.com/episodes/3F06.html

Bart: "Is Mister Freely there?"

Moe: "Who?"

Bart: "Freely, first initials I. P."

Moe: "Hold on, I'll check. Uh, is I. P. Freely here? Hey everybody, I. P. Freely! Wait a minute... Listen to me you lousy bum. When I get a hold of you, you're dead. I swear I'm gonna slice your heart in half."

Perhaps Obama found the Good/Evil switch on these lawyers?

Simpson's Tree House of Horrors III (Episode w/ Krusty doll shipped with the switch in the evil position).

Mij

Go ahead, throw your vote away.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT, WE CAN HEAR YOU JUST FINE! :(

IN CYBERSPACE, NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM.

Who cares about the philosophical question of whether or not "professional" music (whatever that is) is such a life necessity that everyone should be taxed to subsidize it?

The bottom line here is the subsidization is fundamentally untenable because it's too inefficient and fraud prone. As for the three strikes alternative, that's just practically unenforceable.

So we're left with your original conclusion, but with more pragmatic reasoning. The content industry is going to have to stop clamoring "you can't compete with free" and start doing just that.

Not only isn't it practical, but it would be fraudulent. Let's say I

1. Don't download music with my internet connection
2. I already pay for a service like iTunes

If I'm already paying for the music I download, this would constitute double dipping.

If all I do is check email and surf /. and porn on the internet (the kind of stuff most grandmas do with a computer), then I'm not getting any increased value for the extra money (the line isn't faster, or more stable).

Why should I have to pay an extra fee to my ISP so they can pay the RIAA for an empty promise not to sue? It's not a covenant not to sue me, so what do I get out of this deal? A big fat lot of nothing.

If anything, this will just encourage people to download more. The mentality among those of my generation will be "Well, I've already paid for the buffet. Might as well eat all I can." And when they can't find any more to download, they will download an entire ten-pound bag of flour.

I'm eerily reminded, by the thread you've started here, that the TV will never love anyone back.

"Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover."

Yeah, it was popular, and probably cheap (barter syndication doesn't cost the station nothin'!), and a lot of Fox stations lack a big news department, so they would show something that would attract non-news demographics at that time slot.

Here is a link that claims that the Simpson's was initially syndicated under a barter agreement:

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/scg-faq.html#runs

(The transition to cash likely has more to do with the bother of selling and cutting national advertising, not with greed)