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for even more interesting and insightful "background" visit the somethingawful.com review.

You want to have a personalised skin so you pick a Marvel Comic Character, that's so lame!

I think Josh said it best [about making fps mods] :
-----------------
Step Two: Pick a Hot Property

You have to base your mod on something, and nothing works better than somebody else's copyrighted property. Heck, George Lucas isn't going to mind if you steal his beloved characters for personal use. Neither is old Tolkien, who is probably burning in hell for writing such blasphemous nonsense. Here are a couple suggestions for possible mod material:

Star Wars
X-Men
Harry Potter
The Matrix
Lord of the Rings
Dragonball Z
Denver the Last Dinosaur
-----------------

My money is also proximal to my mouth

Thats the way I would handle being forced to publish critisim.

For objective reporting on the tasteful and refined Japanese game scene you can refer to these reputable reviews.

that's the kind of game only an American would like

As long as they're tossing out generalities, what about games featuring animated rape and incest? There isn't much of a market for those over on this side of the pond.

I like 'em. :-D

that's the kind of game only an American would like

As long as they're tossing out generalities, what about games featuring animated rape and incest? There isn't much of a market for those over on this side of the pond.

Also, I'm reminded of this

Sadly, I find it somewhat less than surprising that "Best Gameplay" is nowhere to be found.
If I was a bit more optimistic, I'd pretend that's what they meant by "Best FPS", but I've been around gaming way too long for that. :/

This really does seem an awful lot like a quick stab at a "hey, let's see if we can get a CS-equivalent for UT2K3" scheme, because the game as it stands IS shockingly unpopular given its relatively recent release.

Still, gl to anyone who goes for it. Who knows: maybe one of the FPS variants WON'T just be YA clone of CS. There's an awful lot of truth to this...

The fact of the matter is that it's been YEARS since Epic or id (sorry JC) did anything even remotely innovative with gameplay: TA's HeadHunters mode, UT's Bombing Run, Instagib, etc, are all just ripped straight from mods (and in the case of Instagib even copying the name) without bothering to credit or even acknowledge the original authors. If this is the only way "new" gametypes are going to appear in FPS's on a widespread/"official" basis (and it certainly looks like it) then at least gamers will get to see something that they might not otherwise; and at least Epic will (potentially) for once mention the people who ARE creating the gameplay rather than just quietly swiping it.

I only let my son play Hentai Games if he's finished all his homework.

Look at all them there polygons!

That's the system requirements for the game, not my current system! Who do you think I am, Jeff K?!

Eek...

wow. i never knew something awful was some sort of secret society where only exclusive people with ten dolars could get in!

dumbass.

Check this out.

Dance Dance Karnov

Yah we all know konami ripped DDR from
DDK

I nominate Jeff K.

Is that like Jeff K's website?

is the best.

You mean, like this little fella?

"EX-ter-mi..."

*pause*

"FUCK."

Ok, take Dead or Alive. Now, compare it to this.

As someone that's been part of a recent upstart IRC network, growing pains aren't the only problems you get. We've been repeatedly DoS attacked (most likely from angry young men that don't want people leaving to go to a 'competing' network... The attitude that seems to disturbingly parallel this) Remember, the number of people in your IRC channel DOES NOT make your penis ANY LONGER than it really is.

"Jeffrey Kosseff", jeffkosseff@news.oregonian.com, has written us a wonderful article short on facts and sadly devoid of technical information. This reminds me of one other Jeff K. I know--coincidence? Methinks not.

Aaaargh! That site deserves to be on losers.org. Or maybe it will make it to SomethingAwful as an Awful Link of the Day.

Do you really need 15-20 java applets that change color and make a small wooshing sound as you mouse over them?! What about simple href links?

Needless to say, if you value your sanity, you'll want to avoid the link in the parent post.

*** WARNING: You will probably find it extremely offensive. (Or at least gross) ***

*** WARNING: You will probably find it extremely offensive. (Or at least gross) ***

No, silly. that's a well known feature of Microsoft's Confuse the Elderly

... Unreal2 is just crappy. Wait, here me through.

No, I certainly will not. You're flat out wrong. I mean, absolutely no one agrees with you ;)

SA has the added trick of mentioning if the page has a guestbook. All sorts of fun things to do with guestbooks, from ASCII-art renderings of goatse to, well, ASCII-art renderings of tubgirl.

At the Ministry of Information in IRAQ...

This Honda add says it best.

...and here's the original ICQ prank just for the curious.

Greets to the what-the-hell-is-a-google-dept. ;-)

Indeed.

A "Ricer" is one who performs all sorts of crazy modifications on his low-end automobile.

Click here for details.

OC12Host

They're cheap (dunno 'bout $1/gig, but you're paying for more than just the bandwidth), the service is pretty good (though, I must admit, I've never had to deal with their customer service department, so I have no idea how good that is; on the other hand, the fact that I've never needed to deal with their customer service department says a lot), and the only difference between the cheapest and the most expensive account types are how many gigs per month you get, how much disk space, etc. (all accounts get the same services: Perl, PHP, MySQL, subdomains, SSH access, FTP access, etc.).

I've been using them for almost a year and haven't had any problems, although my site is fairly small and pretty low-traffic.

If you want to have your own server, try SA Net Hosting. Never used 'em, but they seem decent enough, and you'd be supporting Something Awful, which is a damn funny site (although, lately their articles haven't been so good).

I routinely get 180kbytes/second (the max for my connection) with bittorrent. Of course not all that is linux ISOs, mostly movies and TV shows from the bittorrent board on the SA Forums. But still, 15k is pretty slow, you might have other problems.

Eh, it's a good movie, but I liked the prequel better. (Bottom of the page.)

Something Awful's Guide To Surviving War In Iraq

Whitehouse.org

Get Your War On

Saddam Hussein's LiveJournal

(two of the above recently mentioned on the very article that's currently headlining Satanosphere).

You remind me of the Nerd in a Shoe!

How in God's name did this get modded up to 5 Insightful? It's not in any way. People have been saying this for years. It's nothing new or insightful at all.

On that note, the term "hacking around" has been around ages longer than the media ever picked it up, and not just in reference to computer/hardware nerds. A "hack" has always been a workaround, prank or nifty set-up. A "hacker" has always been someone that plays around with things to make innovative systems (be they computer, electrical or otherwise).

I still use the word as I always have, before I ever even got into computers. Somebody asks what I'm doing whilst trying to recompile custom kernels, I say "hacking around with some kernels" and they understand what I'm talking about. Or I'll say I'm doing some "Linux hacking". Point of the matter is, by using the word "Hacker" to talk about the hax0rz, all you're doing is inflating the egos of 15-year-old script kiddies who can't get laid. Personally, I'd rather that the field professionals pick the terminology than some pimply kid. I mean, christ, if it's the same social dynamic that spawned words like "bling-bling" then please give me some intellectually sound reason why I should pay attention to it?

It's jargon and ebonics all rolled into Internet culture, and it's bloody sickening. I don't really care how 31337 you may be, but a cracker will never necessitate a hacker.

No, you were right: Check out Ping!

If you can save this one child from the evils of illiteracy, you have earned a place in history.

Try not to spontaneously combust while doing so :)

Gee, I thought the Real Thief was Leonard "J." Crabs

In two months.

http://www.poleshiftprepare.com/poleshift.htm

"I myself have outstanding personal knowledge and conviction that the cataclysms will occur in May 2003, which is why I am openly stating this on the Internet, and appealing to similar individuals who wish to take steps in preparing for it."

IT MAY SEEM FUNY NOW BUT U THANK HIM & HIS OUTSTNADING CONVICTION TO TELL US ON TEH INTRANET WHEN TEH POLE SHFITS MAY 2003!!!11 PREPAR URSELF!!!

^-- How my IQ dropped after reading his article... I guess it's the Internet we love and hate. :-) Don't forget to visit the main page either, complete with pictures of his Survival Tents. This sure is stuff for Something Awful. =)

The Internet makes you stupid.

Forgot one:

Notices by e-mail whenever an article has been accepted onto Slashdot.

That would be particularly attractive to that want FIST PROST!!!1111LOL EQUAL-SIGN RIGHT PARENTHESIS!

Of course, that'd be targeting to an audience that doesn't want to pay for their share anyway, so nevermind.

OH! And at least, for paying members, relax the posting restrictions. The ability to post once every, say, fifteen seconds, and remove other posting restrictions. I know it's against "principle" to do things like delete or edit your own posts, but we're already talking about far-out ideas, so...

I'm assuming, of course, that abuse could be reported and the user's ability to use these features could be removed with no refund if it became patently obvious that they're abusing their newfound privelidges (goatse, anyone?).

Hell, you could even have a system like Something Awful. I dunno.

Something Awful also pegged one of these scammers with a series of well written and hilarious emails.

Unless I'm moderating I usually just skim the top with highest scores first although I regularly work my way to the first posts at the bottom. Not to join on the bandwagon but moderation has gotten terrible so I've set all the negative moderations to have a 1+ value in my preferences. This in effect negates them so an article has as fair a chance of reaching me as any other not moderated. I haven't decided that all negative moderations are evil so I also haven't come to the conclusion that any moderation is worth my attention. I'll set my preferences to 2+ if that ever happens.

I follow up slashdot with a somethingawful.com chaser to set my mind at ease and to be reassured that getting aggrevated is futile since the internet makes you stupid.

After reading the day's feature, I then check their Awful Link of the Day. Unless it belongs to a very original freak or a freak ailed by something an acquaintance suffers from, I pass. If it can't give me ammo to tease friends I always opt for my own nomination, macosrumors.com

In the rare case of an update I'll read it for laughs unless it's a processor based update. I don't have a comedy chaser ready for those instances so there's no point in winding myself up into a murderous rage.

A quick stop afterwards at maccentral.com usually satisfies the need for real Mac news although I'm thinking of solely switching to macdevcenter.com since they have Mac Central updates on a sidebar.

The subject says "5 daily reads" and for now that's macdevcenter.com which I got into by following slashdot articles. This slot is always being contested and it's a good thing I only read The Filthy Critic on Monday. --- and then I got tired of proofreading my post

- No new features that you will actually use. Most of them you will probably end up hiding away in some toolbar far away, simply because it annoys the hell out of you to see.

- More zany XP balloon like menu bars. In addition, even more light blue and Aqua-like design rip offs.

- Like Office XP, and Office 2000, you definitely won't rush to buy this release, however the minute you, or your friend warezes it on IRC, you will most likely install it -- just because.

- You will be further annoyed by the traditionally bland Windows GUI design. Recent attempts in XP to spruce it up only look like JeffK was hired as a designer at Microsoft.

- If you are an owner of a Mac you fold your hands together, thankful for OS X, and its great design. If you are Linux or BSD user, you are likewise happy that you have a beautiful design. If you are a Windows user, you are most likely reading this from your corporate headquarters, feeling constrained by the tie around your neck, and uncomfortable dress shoes. However, you are refreshed knowing that through your extreme conformity, and love of mediocrity, you will make much more than your neighbor yearly, and are anxiously awaiting to moment you can upgrade all of your machines to this marvelous new piece of Microsoft engineering -- but you still don't know why. Now if only you could find time for sexual relations within your 9 AM to 10 PM daily work schedule . . .

I sent a 'reply' and it bounced off the non-existent sender's address.

Perhaps hotmail staff had already removed the offending account. I highly doubt they would violate federal laws by sending you such an obvious scam just to irritate you. To show you that these checking account scammers are actually out there, here's an article from last fall where Something Awful got back at one of them.

Someday I am going to program my own JEFFKeyboard.