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Every non-trivial device requires tech support if exposed to a wide enough audience. There's an unbreakable trade-off between the complexity that comes from adding more features and making more ways something can fail. Note that I didn't say "in a phone" or "on a computer"; this trade-off exists in all design.

If Apple products really removed support, you wouldn't have to schedule time at their "genius" bars. The idea that Apple has lowered support overhead by decreasing visible features has some truth to it, but that this only goes so far has been obvious for years. I think the Onion pointed out how bizarre that turns if you go too far best, with Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard.

It is called Intelligent Falling.

Citation:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/evangelical-scientists-refute-gravity-with-new-int,1778/

People who post pictures of themself drunk, passed out pants round their ankles in the street are concerned with privacy.

Report: Every Potential 2040 President Already Unelectable Due To Facebook

No. The prices have gone way up since everybody started buying them.

Steven Chu was a Nobel Prize Winner. Clearly Obama has gone power-mad and demanded that Chu build him an Army of Super Drones powered by the Arc Reactor in Iron Man. Chu refused, and when Obama threatened him Chu resigned in protest. Truth is Chu didn't do it on principal. He did it because the Arc Reactor is impossible and Iron Man is just a movie, but how could he explain that to a lawyer? Now as Steven Chu drives back takes the long and lonely drive back to St. Louis, if he looked in his rear vision mirror, he might see a star. A star closer than it should be, following him. The Drone Lord does not take "No" for an answer. TO BE CONTINUED...

PS. This is a joke.

So is this: "Obama Begins Inauguration Festivities With Ceremonial Drone Flyover" http://www.theonion.com/articles/obama-begins-inauguration-festivities-with-ceremon,30974/
So are these: "Obama’s CIA pick calls drone attacks ‘ethical and just’" http://www2.macleans.ca/2013/02/01/czar-of-the-drones/ http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jan/07/john-brennan-cia-drones-obama

This explains a lot of the postings on the Onion.

America's "highest" news source, apparently.

The Onion, America's Finest News Source, reports that it's cooperating with the Chinese government by giving them its employees' passwords. So it's not just the NYT and WSJ.

Perhaps they can get Kim Jong-Un to show them the lay of the land. http://www.theonion.com/articles/north-korea-celebrates-as-kim-jongun-becomes-first,31085/

Al Qaeda has a licensing department?

They're trying to keep up with the Taliban.

You're this guy? God bless you, man, for saving our liberties.

No need to suck.

Oblig That's what she said.

Why stop at oxygen? FAA Considering Passenger Ban | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

I bet you don't own a TV either

True enough. But, then, we have no taste. (citation needed?)

I'm basically the Trekkie the Onion lampoons: "Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film as 'Fun, Watchable.'"

It was a really fun film to watch, with action and adventure and cute one-liners. A fun, summer action movie. But it was not Star Trek.

Star Trek is not about good versus evil. Star Trek is about Better versus Base. There is no 'evil' in the Star Trek universe, there's just other intelligent life who are different or frightened or struggling and the easy response is "blow 'em up!" but Star Trek asks its characters to be better than that and find another option. Yes, defend yourself, but always look for the other, peaceful solution to a problem. And the best part about Star Trek is that the heroes are...us. Us as we could be through science and reason and strength of character.

The 2009 JJ Abrams movie threw all that out the window and gave us a spectacle about a genocidal bad guy with a scary looking ship who must be stopped by punching. Fun movie, but it's not Star Trek, as it doesn't ask its characters or the audience to rise above being a base reactionary.

Star Wars, which I also very much enjoy, is a mystical fantasy of good "Chosen One" characters versus Evil so evil they call themselves "The Dark Side." And the moral choice presented is about the stupidest philosophy imaginable, that if you care about people, you will come to hate the people who want to hurt the people you care about, which will make you "fall" and then join up with the people you hate to kill the people you cared about. I get the idea that blind hatred can make you "no better than" your enemies, but it doesn't turn you into your enemies. Just to godwin's law this, yes, it's possible to hate Hitler SO MUCH for killing all those Jews that you start a genocidal campaign against Germans, putting them in concentration camps and gas chambers, and wind up no better than Hitler. You become what you hated. But in the Star Wars universe, if you love the Jews and hate Hitler, you wind up joining Hitler to kill more Jews, thereby become THE SAME AS Hitler. This is stupid and makes no sense.

So, JJ Abrams abandoned the fundamental premise of Star Trek (that we can rise above our base instincts to find peaceful solutions to our problems) and ruined Star Trek in a bad way. Maybe, in charge of the next Star Wars movie, he'll abandon the fundamental premise of Star Wars (that you have to be a dispassionate mystical robot to avoid killing your friends) and make the franchise much better and more interesting.

I don't know what you're talking about, the metric system is thriving in the US:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/metric-system-thriving-in-nations-inner-cities,458/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/worlds-scientists-admit-they-just-dont-like-mice,1256/

Remind's me of The Onion's World of World of Warcraft.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-man-constantly-mentioning-he-doesnt-own-a-tel,429/

CIA Realizes It's Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years

LOL, not quite. AK47's are the weapon of the enemy. We use AR15's and M-16's. Also, most of us have upgraded to the M1A2 for family use.

Or 350 pound mountain gorillas. After all, it’s your God-given right as an American to have the freedom to own a gorilla to protect yourself and your family.

This was recently mocked by both the Onion and Boing Boing. I think this is one of the first times that I'm less afraid of Cthulhu than the alternative. Actually, Cthulhu looks pretty damn reasonable when he wears a suit and a tie.

The Onion skewered the "sponsored content" concept nicely yesterday. Even sponsored content needs to meet editorial standards, maybe even more so since you are accepting compensation for allowing them to use your brand name to promote theirs.

I thought they did that ten years ago.

The best Onion stories are the ones that have a hint of truth to them. Unfortunately, some end up having a bit too much truth in them and later come to pass.

On the economic side, Bush vowed to bring back economic stagnation by implementing substantial tax cuts, which would lead to a recession, which would necessitate a tax hike, which would lead to a drop in consumer spending, which would lead to layoffs, which would deepen the recession even further.

How can you read that and not love the Onion. (For those not following along at home, it was published in January 2001 and also predicted a war in the Gulf.)

The best Onion stories are the ones that have a hint of truth to them. Unfortunately, some end up having a bit too much truth in them and later come to pass.

The Russians knew how to fix this back in 1997: http://www.theonion.com/articles/mir-scientists-study-effects-of-weightlessness-on,1211/

What does Gooood need... with crashing a spaceship?

He was trying to keep us from killing him...

Hello person on the internet who can't descriminate a real news story from a story on a website that bills itself as "Canada's Best Satirical Newspaper". For other hard hitting facts to base your well though-out world view on, I recommend www.theonion.com

Here is the outcome.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/tens-of-thousands-dead-in-ongoing-africa,28201/

If there are, they are surely on the endangered species list.

There may yet be some hope.

It's doing fine in some parts of the country.

From the same source: Conspiracy Theorist Convinces Neil Armstrong Moon Landing Was Faked | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

According to Armstrong, he was forced to reconsider every single detail of the monumental journey after watching a few persuasive YouTube videos, and reading several blog posts on conspiracy theorist Ralph Coleman's website, OmissionControl.org.

It had to be done.

I could go on, but as you're either woefully mis-informed or lying your teeth off in an effort to hide the truth about Israel,...

http://www.theonion.com/video/911-conspiracy-theories-ridiculous-al-qaeda-says,14222/

(captcha: "backyard")

Sure - use the new Rosetta Stone Hungarian software.

Yeah, yeah. We've already heard your life story.

Yeah, there are definitely cultural influences as well, hence my writing "it's not just as simple as 'nobody can get a gun.'" At the same time there are many societies around the world where assault weapons are not available, and -- surprise! -- massacres perpetrated using assault weapons don't occur.

Generally I think people should be able to own small-caliber firearms for personal defense -- I have been mulling over buying a .22 pistol myself. However there is NO reason, no reason whatsoever, why ordinary citizens should be able to equip themselves with semiautomatic assault rifles. There is no practical reason why such weapons should be allowed to be sold on the open market in any way, shape, or form. I agree with the other responder that guns laws are not black and white, but I have yet to hear a convincing argument for the availability of assault rifles or other military-grade weapons.

As always, the Onion nails it.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/right-to-own-handheld-device-that-shoots-deadly-me,30742/

And also not enough...

http://www.theonion.com/articles/nra-sets-1000-killed-in-school-shooting-as-amount,28352/

I'm not really making gallows humor. Seriously, does it have to be a thousand before you get some half-decent first-world gun control you smalldick fuckers?

Also, Liechtenstein:
http://www.theonion.com/video/liechtenstein-successfully-tests-teeny-tiny-nuclea,14142/

Oblig: The Onion
http://www.theonion.com/video/apple-introduces-revolutionary-new-laptop-with-no,14299/

I think we pretty much established that there's nothing but rocks on Mars.

Yes the rover flight and landing are marvels of engineering. There's no denying that. But can't we go somewhere new?

In all seriousness, I feel like geologists have taken over NASA and these rovers are their way of bringing fame and power to the discipline of studying rocks.

Let's take the first steps to go drilling into a subsurface ocean instead, shall we not?

Who looks back on Bush as enlightened?

Score another one for The Onion .

I hear Time magazine is having trouble moving beyond that demographic, so the transition may be harder than you think.

Along the same lines as your point:
All Of Nation's Resources Dumped Into 50 Children Who Are Actually The Future
If we could just cherry pick those kids now, we wouldn't need to worry about everyone else! ~sarcasm

I'm not so sure... look how proud people on here are that they DON'T have a Facebook. It's much like this guy, but for social.

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2012/11/29/world/asia/china-north-korea-leader-is-sexiest-man-no-longer.xml

http://www.theonion.com/articles/kim-jongun-named-the-onions-sexiest-man-alive-for,30379/

Might I suggest China's favorite source for accurate news. http://www.theonion.com/

Oh he uses them, doesn't mean he likes to:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/libertarian-reluctantly-calls-fire-department,4651/

Maybe they are cutting costs, but this is an inferior alternative to their current, proven approach: Disney Lab Unveils Its Latest Line Of Genetically Engineered Child Stars