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There are quite a few people who agree with you.

Well, at least Dolphins haven't yet evolved opposable thumbs...

There are quite a few people who agree with you.

So you're this guy!

it's been what- 60+ years?

take a look at this
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flight_800 from 1996
now read this from 1998
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29630

...that it has better sales than Sousaphone Hero.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/activision_reports_sluggish_sales

Nuf Said.

Yeah, but how does that stand up against Stephen Hawking's version?

I guess it depends on what you mean by when the "power is turned off". Judging from your post, you probably mean falling asleep. But since the brain is far from powered off when asleep, I suggest that the other meaning of powered off be used.

It's sort of difficult to restore power to that type of powering off of the brain. And when you do, I hear that the host's diet dramatically changes.

As with most things, The Onion has already tapped this comedy vein:
Peace Activist Has To Admit Barrett .50 Caliber Sniper Rifle Is Pretty Cool

Hey! This guy knows!

But in all seriousness, I bet that this article is on to something. In decades past, television has had ubiquitous popularity simply because it's so easy and accessible. But the new availability of quick and easy outlets for creativity is going to enable a shift. In particular, those who aren't already caught up in the status quo will probably tend towards the more interactive and dynamic forms of media.

I know that I personally don't watch television regularly, and I'm guessing that many others are the same way.

You don't mean to be presumptuous, but why don't they skip doing what they enjoy, and instead do what you think they should be enjoying?

If you didn't mean to be presumptuous, but knew it was sufficiently presumptuous to include the disclaimer, then why did you bother posting? So that we all know that you go outdoors? Next thing you know we'll be hearing about how you don't own a television either.

It's amazing what a bit of prayer and a miracle will do for someone...

<DUCK!>

:-)))))

Hawking needs a robotic exoskeleton to make that plausible... unless you say he has developed telekinetic mind powers.

As opposed to the much more mature and emotionally developed pastimes of staring at the TV watching American Idol gush/rant on the latest Vegasy crooner. Then there is the sports nut who memorizes stats knocking the gamer who studies game stats.

It seems the cat's already out of the bag...

Oops

http://www.theonion.com/2056-06-22/opinion/1/

Let me guess, he was missing the middle and ring fingers? No wonder the Supreme Metal Council are concerned.

I'd believe it. People who don't watch TV usually tend to be quite vocal about it. ;)

DOT Creates New Lane For Reckless Drivers

While some have raised concerns that law-abiding citizens will be tempted to try the new lanes and get into life-threatening situations, DOT officials claim they will be self- enforcing, self-regulating, and, with proper drainage and fluid grooves, self-cleaning. Nevertheless, steps are being taken to prevent their use by non-reckless drivers.

What is The Onion going to do for stories now? Surely nothing can look more silly than this story.

Oblig link: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades

I love that column

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930

It pretty much invented the extreme advertising meme.

I wonder if their stategy discussions follow this tone:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930

No discussion of how many blades there are on razors these days is complete until somebody posts this. So I figured I'd just get it out of the way :-)

And TV's education abilities are proven in iron-clad studies to be more effective than traditional methods?

I have yet to see a legitimate study on video games and television.

Your biased is plain to see from your very first sentence. Is that you Jonathan Green? Maybe if you watched more TV, you would have better comprehension of English.

Maybe:

Yes, a very BIG maybe.

-Very young children don't yet distinguish completely between real and pretend.

If you believe this argument, then to keep from being a hypocrate, you would also have to believe that reading books are bad for children, and in fact even reading to children as bad. Sorry. I'm not buying it.

-Children who watch TV excessively are more passive

Need you be reminded that Corrolation does not imply causation. In fact, any corrolation could more likely be described as "children who are more passive are more likely to watch TV excessively".(I assume that use use the word passive as an antonym to active, not as an antonym to aggressive) Of course, this argument also would apply to reading.

are less creative.

Absolute BS pulled from your ass. Any study that tries to tell you that they have quantified creativity is utter and complete BS.

-TV takes away from play time, which is more valuable for developing children.

Television IS play time.

-TV is a risk factor for childhood obesity

It is called a 'risk factor' instead of saying that 'it causes' because again, correlation does not imply causation. Did you ever stop to think for just a minute that obese kids are more likely to watch TV? We can argue about what causes people to be fat all day long, for example would could get into the fact that most kids eat diets of 90% surgar, and the government even recommends an almost all sugar diet. Trying to pin obesity on TV is at best misleading, and at worst an all out lie.

and poor social development.

Come on, this is just stupid. Let see, is it more likely that kids who know current popular culture are going to have poor social development, or kids who have poor social development are going to do a solitary activity that still lets them see, and in a sense be around other people? The answer is obvious.

-TV correlates to lower reading scores.

Really? They have found that kids who don't read well like to be entertained too? Amazing! What does that have to do with TV being bad. My kid started reading at 2, and now, having just turned 4, reads better than most of the kids I went to high school with. He watches a lot of TV. I have yet to meet even one other child that could read at 2. Heck, was only even able to 1 reference on the internet to a child that can read at 2. Now, you can argue that my son is some kind of super intelligent mutant that bestows him with intelligence beyond that of mortal men, but even in that very unlikely event, I have a hard time believing that if your premise were true, that he would not have been retarded to at least learning to read at 4.

-TV may diminish short-term memory in children.

And it may increase it. What are you talking about here. There is no indication that this is the case.

-TV is linked to more aggressive behavior

Wrong. Parental neglect causes aggressive behavior. Again. You have your cause and effect mixed up. Preventing kids from watching TV is not going to force parents to pay attention to their kids. Heck, even with the "good" parents, most kids spend 3/4 of the year with more of their time under the custody of the government than they do with their parents, is it any surprise that kids who are ignored during the few hours the state allows t

Next he'll be telling you how much better is life is now that he's not "chained to the idiot machine", and how he just finished reading some Milton.

Run while you still can!

(With apologies to both The Onion and you, personally, who didn't exhibit those qualities at all, but reminded me of the cliché.)

Here's the real story. Just in case you missed it. Diebold has already accidentally leaked the 2008 election results. Warning - Stupid non-skip 10 second ad before story.
-b

Bill Gates Grants Self 18 Dexterity, 20 Charisma

REDMOND, WA--Microsoft head Bill Gates, already considered by many to be among the most powerful men in the world, further increased his powers Monday, augmenting several of his key statistics to near-immortal levels.

In 2002, 2004, and 2008, we elected..

That was a typo, honest.

Microsoft Patents Ones, Zeroes

Microsoft has already done it:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29130

Ahh...memories :)

It is indeed The Onion. Wikipedia Celebrates 750 Years Of American Independence. Founding Fathers, Patriots, Mr. T. Honored

Yes, at least according to this: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38673

'I dont think i was supposed to hear that, im not feeling very well now...'

Thank the Eighth Dynamic that effective treatment is available!:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29709

Can't whisk that I can see, but it CAN toast bread...

. . . The Onion, who seem to be the only ones reporting on news that's important to me.

The Onion was right on the money back in October!! Check out their prediction. Unbelievable.

Relevant Link

It's been done:

Captured on film

Fuck everything, we're doing five blades.

Seriously, Apple's been pushing iTunes via it's apple software update (which you can disable) for years and it hasn't uproared like this. I think all the recent apple bashing is a plot to Validate the Onion.

Btw, last I noticed firefox fucking annoyed me to update itself. Suck it, mozilla.

Date Of Apple Backlash Set For March 21, 2008.

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/diebold_accidentally_leaks

It's better than when Diebold leaked the election results. http://www.theonion.com/content/video/diebold_accidentally_leaks

People are laughing, but this one was reported in mainstream news

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/anonymous_philanthropist_donates

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/anonymous_philanthropist_donates

Why do you get the right to decide what someone else should charge for their works? Do I get to decide how much you can charge for your labor?

Don't buy it if you don't like the price. But you have ZERO RIGHT to tell the owners of the copyright how much to charge for the use of the copyrighted work.

There also lots of other issues to consider (and you apparently are not mentally adept enough to realize they even exist). Why is US copyright life+90 years? More people would respect copyright if the terms were reasonable. As it is, by the time something that comes out today becomes public domain, my grandchildren will be looking for a nursing home (and this is assuming the cartels don't go after even *more* extensions). Star Wars is 31 years old. It should be in the public domain now. George Lucas got his protection and got a chance to make a ton of money off of it. We should now have it in the public domain, which was the original give-and-take idea of copyright. Star Trek TOS is even older and it should be in the public domain. Hell, even "Laugh, Clown, Laugh" isn't in the frigging public domain and my *grandparents* are too young to have seen it when it came out!

Do you begin to see why people have no respect for copyright? If there were a reasonable time period for copyrights and the MAFIAA instead used legitimate means to catch infringers, I would be all for them and say screw the freeloaders. But, with what we have now, the MAFIAA can rot in the tenth circle of hell.