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Welcome to the Jesus Jihad. We are determinied, as God-endorsed Christians,
to destroy any opposition to our political puppet, George W. Bush, in order to gain entrance to heaven. We endorse war, Israel, and the military-industrial-fascist regime of The United States of
America.

And, remember, when you visit my God-endorsed Web site The 700 Club,
don't forget to purchase the many products that should be otherwise taxed if it were not for the IRS courteous designation of our tax-empt status.

Remember: War is Christian

Godly As Always,
Pat Robertson

Constitution that allows your current "President" George W. Bush to extend his
term indefinitely.

Great work Slashdot; however, your continued absence
from Bible classes will ultimately result in your detention
at Camp Cheney.

Regards,
George W. Bush

be kicking a real ass, who is also the world's MOST DANGEROUS AND INARTICULATE LEADER, after the U.S. completes their current withdrawal from Iraq; the U.S. dollar reaches record lows (that not highs National Public Radio commentator) against foreign currencies; and interest rates
hit 20%.

Seditiously,
Kilgore Trout, CEO

As King George II, I, too, am looking for an elegant throne.

Very presidentially yours,
"President" George W. Bush

that could verify the fakeness of "President" George W. Bush

Seditiously from an undisclosed, secure cave in D.C.,
Kilgore Trout

Then there will be pressure to apply it to whitehouse.org, which is an anti-Bush satire site.

Then redirecting al-Jazeera to Fox News...

Hello. My name is George W. Bush. I was reselected as your 44th "President" of the United Gulags of America.

Will BrainPort let me use Faith, Family, and Valuesto decrease the ballooning federal deficit; lower
interest rates; and strengthen the faultering U.S. dollar?

Regards,

George W. Bush

"toiling like galley slaves" to describe EA's programmers, and note that EA has a formal policy of hiring young, naive people who are willing to work long hours for low pay."

is just a constraint on the policy "keep the wage floor low"
promoted by your lamer-in-command "President" George W. Bush

F%ck the f#cking Republicans,
Kilgore Trout

Very Easily: Faith, Values, and Family

Seditiously as always,
Kilgore Trout

Join the 100 Million Person Washington, D.C. Demonstration Against Fascism, January 20, 2005

Seditiously,
Kilgore Trout

Whitehouse.org has done a great interview (parody) job here.

You agree to abide not by the United States Constitution but Government By Faith, Family, and Values

Faithfully yours,
President George W. Bush: The World's Most Dangerous AND Inarticulate Leader

is Government by Faith, Family, and Values

Seditiously yours,
Kilgore Trout, CEO

Appropriately, for the United Gulags of Amerika:

Doom D.C.: Your mission is to covertly enter Washington, D.C. and prevent
the United States Consitution from being replaced
by Faith, Family, and Values: Government for Morons.

Patriotically as always,
Kilgore Trout, CEO

I for one welcome our new err.. old oppressive overlord!

He was the strongerest of the two candidates, and deserving of victory.. ..

God help us.

http://www.whitehouse.org/ (no, not the porn site)

none other than President-VICE Richard B. Cheney and "President"-Fake George W. Bush

Defend America: De-Select George W. Bush

Thanks in advance,
Kilgore Trout

There ought to be a law. Won't somebody please think about thinking about the children?

Is Whitehouse.org cybersquatting or free speech?

is none other than the world's most dangerous and inarticulate "leader".

Defend America: De-select George W. Bush

Thanks in advance,
Kilgore Trout .

the Constitution of the United States of America:

(ie. "President" George W. Bush) in the name of craporate profit.

I have been working on anti-matter weapons since
George W. Bush was selected by the U.S. Supreme Court.

Anti-matter is convenient to ship to Iraq to retroactively justify Bushco's claim
that Saddam bin Ladin had weapons of mass destruction.

Back to the lab....errr........ The White House

Regards,
A Hostage Physicist

George W. Bush.

Watch for the wire to his ear so he can talk in the debates.

Regards,
Kilgore Trout

And the volcano said, "Now didn't I tell you I'd smoke that filthy sand monkey out of his hole".

Mr. President, do you believe that the government should decide whether I can marry 3 people simultaneously, or whether one of these "people" can't be a horse or other arbitrary livestock?

its either billg@microsoft.com
or
president@whitehouse.gov (or was it .com ?:) )

With all of the actions by the delusional, dangerous, and inarticulate U.S. "President" George W. Bush to burn the U.S. consitution, there are many alternatives to Beowulf stories.

Thank you and have an Ashcroft_Bush_Cheney_Powell_Ridge_Rice_free_day,
Kilgore Trout

Forget what your parents told you. I am proof that snorting cocaine, drinking excessively, and lying we'll never impede your career.

Thanks in advance,
"President" George W. Bush

...the world's most dangerous and inarticulate leader?

Thanks and have an Ashcroft_Bush_Cheney_Powell_Ridge_Rumsfeld_free week,
Kilgore Trout

Bush

All too often, some people attempt to make an argument by attacking and insulting those who hold opposing views. George W Bush's sentiments are a perfect example. I would like to start by discussing Bush's arguments, mainly because they scare me. The thing I'm the most frightened about is that even if one isn't completely conversant with current events, the evidence overwhelmingly indicates that if Bush gets his way, I might very well fall into the traps set for me by his secret police. Someone has to be willing to follow knowledge like a sinking star beyond the utmost bound of human thought. Even if it's not polite to do so. Even if it hurts a lot of people's feelings. Even if everyone else is pretending that a richly evocative description of a problem automatically implies the correct solution to that problem.

No amount of opinion or innuendo nor any string of unrelated sermons can change the fact that Bush is willing to promote truth and justice when it's convenient. But when it threatens his creature comforts, Bush throws principle to the wind. His press releases have caused widespread social alienation, and from this alienation a thousand social pathologies have sprung. This screams of the old belief that the worst sorts of dangerous, indecent social outcasts I've ever seen are merely out-of-touch, hypocritical weasels. So let Bush call me irritable. I call him malignant. By the bye, he maliciously defames and damagingly misrepresents everyone and everything around him. There's a word for that: libel.

There is no contradiction here; even though the erroneous things Bush says about me are sometimes entertaining, oftentimes sad, and frequently totally detestable, you mustn't forget that Bush's double standards will have consequences -- very serious consequences. And we ought to begin doing something about that. Contrast, for example, his projects with those of bitter, worthless skinflints, and observe that there is no contrast. I, by (genuine) contrast, take the view that I am deliberately using colorful language in this letter. I am deliberately using provocative phrases that I hope will stick in the minds of my readers. I do ensure, however, that my words are always appropriate and accurate and clearly explain how I'm not a psychiatrist. Sometimes, though, I wish I were, so that I could better understand what makes people like Bush want to purge the land of every non-temperamental person, gene, idea, and influence.

His ebullitions are continually evolving into more and more insipid incarnations. Here, I'm not just talking about evolution in a simply Darwinist sense; I'm also talking about how Bush operates on an international scale to steal the fruits of other people's labor. It's only fitting, therefore, that we, too, work on an international scale, but to remove the misunderstanding that Bush has created in the minds of myriad people throughout the world. When he tells us that snobbism is a viable and vital objective for our nation's educational institutions, he somehow fails to mention that he winds up on the wrong side of every important issue. He fails to mention that this cannot go on much longer. And he fails to mention that he has gotten away with so much for so long that he's lost all sense of caution, all sense of limits. If you think about it, only a man without any sense of limits could desire to seek temporary tactical alliances with unimaginative authoritarians in order to sugarcoat the past and dispense false optimism for the future. Bush hates it when you say that I oppose, deplore, and disavow discrimination, extremism, and hatred of every kind. He really hates it when you say that. Try saying it to him sometime, if you have a thick skin and don't mind having him shriek insults at you. He argues that I am lazy for wanting to work beyond the predatory plasticity of his expostulations. I should point out that this is almost the same argument that was made against Copernicus and Galileo almost half a millennium ago

(As John McCain says)....

Smart as a rock and as transparent as glass.

Do the right thing: Defend America and defeat George W. Bush

If ever I had a tough letter to write, this is it. My challenge is to convince you that what our nation needs is more respect for the law, not less. With this letter, I hope to study the problem and recommend corrective action. But first, I would like to make the following introductory remark: Some people think it's a bit extreme of me to supply the missing ingredient that could stop the worldwide slide into paternalism -- a bit over the top, perhaps. Well, what I ought to remind such people is that it appears that, for George W Bush, "open-mindedness" isn't a policy or a belief, but a flag to wave when he feels like it, and one to hide when it doesn't suit his purposes -- and Bush knows it. Perhaps one day we will live in a world where good people are not troubled by fear of grumpy paper-pushers. Until that day arrives, however, we must spread the word that I respect the English language and believe in the use of words as a means of communication. Petulant, power-drunk traitors like Bush, however, consider spoken communication as merely a set of noises uttered to excite emotions in ultra-fatuous, whiney louts in order to convince them to reopen wounds that seem scarcely healed. If he truly wanted to be helpful, Bush wouldn't siphon off scarce international capital intended for underdeveloped countries. A colleague recently informed me that a bunch of self-serving, crude thought police and others in Bush's amen corner are about to force onto us the degradation and ignominy that Bush is known to revel in. I have no reason to doubt that story because Bush's votaries say, "His opinions represent the opinions of the majority -- or even a plurality." Yes, I'm afraid they really do talk like that. It's the only way for them to conceal that Bush has never satisfactorily proved his assertion that he has a duty to conceal the facts and lie to the rest of us, under oath if necessary, perjuring himself to help disseminate the True Faith of negativism. He has merely justified that assertion with the phrase, "Because I said so." Mean-spirited psychopaths (like Bush) are not born -- they are excreted. However unsavory that metaphor may be, if Fate desired that Bush make a correct application of what he had read about tribalism, it would have to indicate title and page number, since the careless fool would otherwise never in all his life find the correct place. But since Fate does not do this, it is irresponsible to accept everything at face value. Of course, this sounds simple, but in reality, the real issue is simple: We stand to lose far more than we'll ever gain if we don't act honorably. I do not appreciate being labeled. No one does. Nevertheless, I challenge Bush to point out any text in this letter that proposes that what I call rash self-proclaimed arbiters of taste and standards are easily housebroken. It isn't there. There's neither a hint nor a suggestion of such a thing.

Do his vassals fight to the end for our ideas and ideals? No, that would be the correct and logical thing to do. Instead, they commit confrontational, in-your-face acts of violence, intimidation, and incivility. What Bush is incapable of seeing is that I am thoroughly shocked and angered by his obtrusive improprieties. Such shameful conduct should never be repeated.

Subhuman totalitarianism is now and has long been a mainstay of his beliefs (as I would certainly not call them logically reasoned arguments). Regular readers of my letters probably take that for granted, but if I am to ensure that we survive and emerge triumphant out of the coming chaos and destruction, I must explain to the population at large that if you were to try to tell his cult followers that he has a different view of reality from the rest of us, they'd close their eyes and put their hands over their ears. They are, as the psychologists say, in denial. They don't want to hear

or the best example provided *because* of this is http://www.whitehouse.org/. Moce, very moce!

CB

who suffers from delusions that he is the democratically elected "President" of the United States

From an undisclosed, secure voting machine,
Kilgore Trout

Only you can detain, extradite, try, sentence, and convict
the world's most dangerous and inarticulate leader

Thanks and have an alert_free weekend,
Kilgore Trout

Instead of trying lame ways to get laid, why don't you
read newspapers (hard copy or webbified) and participate in the
detention, extradition, trial, conviction, and sentencing of
United States War Criminals

Patriotically as always,
Kilgore Trout

P.S.: Buck Fush In 2004

the world's most dangerous and inarticulate leader: "President" George W. Bush. whose motto is : War Is Good !

Thanks and have an alert_free week!!

As always,
Kilgore Trout

This will be a best-seller BEFORE Nov. 2, 2004:

Doom, D.C.

Thanks and have an alert-free weekend,
Kilgore Trout

- Buck Fush In 2004 !!

The site is http://www.whitehouse.org/(work safe).

If Fallwell.com was merely an attempt to capitalize on spelling errors, then this is not different than for me to register Mircosoft as a platform for me to promote non-Microsoft software.

The deciding factor in this case was that the Fallwell.com website clearly identified that they had nothing to do with Falwell ministries. Even google's summary stated this and the disclaimer leads to Falwell.com in case you actually got lost and were searching around for your Reagan Tribute video. That's more than can be said for lazermonks which blatantly mooches business from the actual lasermonks

I thought people learned this lesson years ago with whitehouse.com, whitehouse.org, and whitehouse.gov.

because I'm the king of the castle and the rest of you are dirt.

Thanks in advance,
Your acting "President"

or, for a very similiar case, you could take a look at whitehouse.org for a parody version of whitehouse.gov, which is much more relevant.

/zr

Washington Post Version
According to Bush
Or... the Google Search

I enjoyed the lyrics. Is there a CD collection of your remixes?

Remember: Only you can help stop a totalitarian United States
federal government.

Seditiously as always,
K. Trout

but only when he
is not speaking.

Remember: Only you can help impeach the
world's most dangerous leader.

Thanks in advance,
Kilgore Trout

You don't need a supercomputer to compute flight paths.
The machine will, (to borrow a phrase from the con-in-chief
Richard B. Cheney), in all likelihood, be used for designing
more WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION,

Be patriotic: Impeach The Felons

Thanks in advance,
Kilgore Trout

Only narrowly beating The Whitehouse. :)

Richard B. Cheney is responsible for the financial patterns.

Just ask the guy who is playing President of the United Stalags of America.
Remember: Buck Fush In 2004 !!

Regards,
Kilgore Trout

Regards,
Kilgore

before the United States of America becomes theUnited Stalags of America

Thank you and have John_Ashcroft_and_Tom_Ridge_Free_Weekend,
Kilgore Trout

before the United States becomes the United Stalags of America

Thank you and have a protest_filled weekend,

Kilgore Trout

More wisdom from our "President" George W. Bush :

Courrtesy of the BBC News

>>"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful - and so >>are we," the US president told a high-level meeting of >>Pentagon officials.

>>"They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our >>country and our people - and neither do we."

>>His comments came during a signing ceremony for a >>$417bn defence bill.

Patriotically as always,
Kilgore Trout