Slashdot Mirror
Operation Acoustic Kitty
rockville writes: "Remember the Cold War, when intelligence agencies had no oversight and a blank check? Now that those days are back, here's a good object lesson: the Chicago Sun-Times has details about Operation Acoustic Kitty, a CIA program to wire a cat to spy on the Soviet Union. Feel free to be either shocked at the depravity or shocked at the stupidity. The first prototype is also a nominee for Worst Presentation Ever." Hmmm. Last time I posted a story about cats, I got angry email from cat-lovers. Let's see what happens this time.
...a CIA team tried to chemically treat a cat's dander so that it would rub up against Fidel Castro and cause his beard to fall out.
/. If the government wants us to respect the law, it should set a better example.
A couple things. Its amazing that the technology is available to do such a thing! (Thats cool in and of itself).
But in today's political scene, I'm surprised they can even toss the idea around without getting into trouble with the law and/or SPCA (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals).
Today we're seeing robots the size of pennies, that may be the next form of espionage in the next few decades. Heck, we may even make smaller "nano-bots" that can attach itself to the person who is under survailence.
This also reminds me of the bionic insects I have seen in various magazines such as Popular Science. Cats were only the beginning I will state again.
There's an old saying about trying to herd cats...
Seriously though, what were they thinking? Apart from the moral and ethical depravity of it, logically it seems like a pretty stupid plan to begin with: Was the cat fed wet food from a picture of the person whom it was supposed to befriend? For anyone who has a cat, you know from the beginning that these morons obviously didn't.
The "Acoustic Kitty" is one of the CIA's many failures. You can download the declassified documents at George Washington University. Most relevent is Document 27: Views on Trained Cat Use. Interesting read straight from the horse's mouth.
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Then the Soviets copied our idea, sending acoustic kitties into the caves of Afghanistan in the 70s. When the cats were killed they immediately gave up and said that surely the US couldn't suceed there.
the byproduct of years of oppression by the white man
[And so Operation "Cat Nap" comes unglued when an unexpected event occurs...]
General1: "Pavelovich? what is your kitty doing here?"
General2: "It is not my kitty..."
General1: "I wonder if it is true Russian Kitty..."
General2: "I will fetch the Vodka."
General1: "Let us see if you drink Vodka like true Russian Kitty..."
-- Dan =)
according to the article, the prototype cat was run over in the test trial (they took it to a park and it was run over by a taxi).
Clearly suicide.
And BTW, you guys think maybe the parts that are still classified are the ones about the later models that worked right?
Listen to me, I'm talking about cyborg cats like I would about cars...
You can't take the sky from me...
You KNOW it was Carl Yablonski's cat they were gonna wire up.
MRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW! What's this microphone crammed up my ass? MRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!
giving the boys acid and letting them jump out of windows...
Slashdot, the site where everything's made up and the points don't matter
that many cat lovers are less intelligent than their cats.
Does anybody else think that this was a really idiotic idea?
What the heck else did the CIA try?
Instead of a wired cat, maybe we should send the Taliban a wired Bonsai Kitten. Considering their love of life, they'll enjoy it, and as a room decoration, it's second to none.
http://www.bonsaikitten.com
Pity it coulden't have ran linux as then it really would have been one cool cat...
Maybe someday they will declassify the tapes of all those mice speaking russian. This is almost as goofy as some of the Soviet experiments with animals (or parts thereof).
"Never pet a burning dog."
Excuse me sir, you forgot to include the answer to question 6. Could someone please post it? Thanks.
But I guess /. doesn't like leading the way any more....
They say to give the CIA more free reign over what they do, that it would make them more effective. This only solidifies my doubts. They're no more effective, it seems - just have free reign to do stupid things. Like kill cats. Or fail to assassinate Fidel Castro how many times...?
But we know about those, so perhaps I am incorrect. Perhaps we only hear about what they do wrong; after all, the failure means that it is no threat to our security (except our loss of faith in the CIA?). After all, it's whatever succeeded that would need to be kept secret, so that it could continue to work. You have to wonder... if they make enough stupid mistakes, and know they're stupid enough to be benign in regard to security, perhaps the CIA is somewhat smarter than we think. They know what they do wrong, then perhaps they know what they do right. They'll just never get credit for any of it.
Golly gee, I've refuted myself again.
________
"And if the fool, or the pig, are of a different opinion...." -- J.S. Mill
... a Beowulf cluster of spy kittens going to Afghanistan. Or better yet, a Meta-Beowulf cluster!
People have been putting audio/video equipment into pussies for quite some time. Oh... cats... nevermind.
I don't think the _idea_ was that terrible... It's the name that gets ya.
Why don't they spend all that money developing a passable Russian accent so they don't need the bloody cat?
Maybe that was their nefarious plan all along!
The general population has no idea.
Last time I posted a story about cats, I got angry email from cat-lovers. Let's see what happens this time.
Ummm...angry letters from CIA lovers?
Ok, so now a little conspiracy theory, since no day is complete without one. Perhaps these so called failures are just masking the true projects that these millions went to. We won't ask to see the results from a $14 million dollar squashed cat, but we might start asking questions about where $14 million went otherwise. (Not that we would know they had it anyways, but hey, it's a conspiracy theory, it doesn't have to make sense)
That has to be the funniest thing I've heard in quite some time
Cruel and Morbid, but funny.
Gato: Otra carne blanco :-)
The frightening part of this whole debacle -- at least for USians -- is that this took place when the CIA was supposedly competent and well-staffed/well-funded... What does that say for their current capabilities?
...a classic joke never gets old :)
but that was probably because I didn't remove the tire tar good enough
Sorry about that, Chief.
7 November 2006: The day Americans realized corruption and incompetence weren't addressing 11 September 2001
I guess it IS better than posting a story about Katz, in some people's opinions.
Thats probably what they said when the prototype got run over. :)
For the benefit of the many who are not enlightened enough to be Australian this is funny because we have a Toyota(?) advert over here which involves a farm ute being used for various tasks, the ute is supposedly very powerful and goes over board for every task here are some examples:
Pulling stump out of ground: Stump gets airborne and smashes up dunny (outside toilet)
Dog tries to jump onto ute but ute takes off, dog lands in mud and dog says bugger.
You probably don't have the idea yet but believe me, it is funny (Could some of you other Aussies back me up here before the karma police lock me up?)
or am I thinking I saw it on hardocp?
the cia should have better thing to do
Anyone willing to decode document 27 for me?? Document 27 reads as follows:
Memorandum for: (blank)
Subject: (blank) Views on Trained Cats (blank) for (blank) Use
1. Our final examination of trained cats (blank) for (blank) use in the (blank) convinced us that the program would not lend itself in a practical sense to our highly specialized needs. Repeated checks on the state of training and equipment showed us that it was indeed possible to train (long blank) locations; we were not able to visualize (blank) (blank) use for this technique under conditions that prevail (blank).
2. We have satisfied ourselves that it is indeed possible (very long blank). This is in itself a remarkable scientific achievement. Knowing that cats can indeed be trained to move short distances (blank) (blank) we see know reason to believe that a (blank) cat can not be similarly trained to approach (blank). Again, however, the environmental and security factors in using this technique in a real foreign situation force us to conclude that, for our (blank) purposes, it would not be practical.
3. The work done on this problem over the years reflects great credit on the personnel who guided it, particularly (blank) whose energy and imagination could be models for scientific pioneers.
(signed by blank)
I'm not sure if this would even be an issue today. With silicon getting so small, a kitty could easily just get "bugged" or have a small chip inserted under its skin (Universal Soldier anyone?)
This business of slitting kitties open is just disgusting. I can't see how spending this type of money on such a project could be beneficial, even during the cold war. It seems the money would have been better spent on finding other techniques, or improving the technology.
It should be interesting to view the documents and see just what was going on. Anybody have any sort of information on how this released information could be found? I'm also interested to see what kind of "sensoring" they have done to it. =)
nothing was better than Operation Dumbo Drop.
DR. EVIL CIA GUY: Release the sharks! All the sharks have had laser beams attached to their heads. I figure every creature deserves a warm meal.
FRAU FARBISSINA: Dr. Evil?
DR. EVIL CIA GUY: Yes, what is it? You're interrupting my moment of triumph.
FRAU FARBISSINA: It's about the sharks. Since you were frozen, they've been placed on the Endangered Species List. We tried to get some, but it will take months to clear up the red tape.
DR. EVIL: Right. Mr. Kremlin, we're going to lower you in a tank of piranhas with laser beams attached to their heads.
FRAU FARBISSINA: *cough*
DR. EVIL CIA GUY: What is it now?
FRAU FARBISSINA: Well, we experimented with lasers, but you would be surprised at how heavy they are. They actually outweighed the piranha themselves, and the fish, well, they sank to the bottom and died.
DR. EVIL CIA GUY: I have one simple request and that's sharks with friggin' laser beams attached to their heads, and it can't be done? Remind me again why I pay you people? What do we have?
FRAU FARBISSINA: Cats.
DR. EVIL CIA GUY: Right.
FRAU FARBISSINA: They're mutated cats. With surveillance devices.
DR. EVIL CIA GUY: Really? Are they ill-tempered?
This page (document 27) at the national security archive contains a PDF of the heavily redacted memo. In addition to the kitty, there is also material about spy satellites and other such things.
Mrs. Slocombe: The next thing you know they'll be calling me up
and asking me to put a wire on MY pussy.
Barney Fife: I say this calls for action and now! Nip it in the bud!
Chat: l'autre viande blanche
Despite what you may think, it's not that easy to control a cockroach.
How do I know, you ask?
I'm a neuroscience graduate student who works in a lab that studies cockroach neurophysiology and movement control:
http://www.life.uiuc.edu/delcomyn/
Yes, we can GUIDE the motions, by stimulating parts of the CPG (central pattern generators) in cockroach motor control - each pair of legs in cockroaches have internal movement pattern generators, as well as connections to other legs as well as the higher CNS ganglia. This still doesn't mean we have total control, or even relatively FINE control - something that would be required for this kind of fantasy "bug" intelligence work. It's really not that practical, and I doubt it will ever be - a lot more can be acheived by remote sensing technology, or possibly MEMS-type sensors.
Sincerely,
Kevin Christie
Neuroscience Program
University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
crispiewm@hotmail.com
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Dammit! This MUST be why my cat only comes near me when I'm on the phone or typing at my computer, he's friggin' rigged! Where is that little furry bastard?!?! I bet some water would short circuit his electronics....
Here kitty kitty...
Need Free Juniper/NetScreen Support? JuniperForum
I don't think we should ever talk about interesting things to do with cats without talking about the amazing Bonzai Kitties
This isn't a troll! Its just that the very thought of the sound that a cat would make as you tried to shove it into a blender would be...interesting. And it is therefore worth mentioning.
Mod me down and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!
I'm no crazy PETA person, but it sounds like what they did to the cat was monstrous.
And this really floored me:
He said: "They took it out to a park and put him out of the van, and a taxi comes and runs him over. There they were, sitting in the van with all those dials, and the cat was dead."
Most people would die sooner than think; in fact, they do.
Function fun1(text) Msgbox text Call fun1("all your base are belong to us") E
I'd be ashamed to be seen in public with a Visual Basic anything, let alone a moniker that represents my very essence.
Better go learn a real language.
P.S.
Euler's number is represented with a lower case e not E
There was a BBC documentary about 4 or 5 years ago with this story in it; the main subject was the MKULTRA project, and it was entitled "The Search for the Manchurian Candidate" (or something like that), but this "Acoustic Kitty" thing came up as an anecdote from some ex-intelligence guy they interviewed. Unfortunately, Google turns absolutely nothing up, and the BBC themselves apparently don't know a thing about it!
http://www.blitzbasic.com/
Graphics3D 640, 480
A: Texas
I got the title confused with this, which is a good read on MKULTRA, but the program definitely had "Manchurian Candidate" in the title!
http://www.blitzbasic.com/
Graphics3D 640, 480
non, minou !
Dude...this has been on the Discovery Channel for at least four years. This is not new information. The stupid cat ran into the street and got run over.
So reading a hair past the ha-ha bad product description, we've learned that the CIA can stick a wire into your head and change the way you feel.
And they knew how to do this in 1960. Damn, but they must have some cool toys by now.
Mike Hoye
The CIA cats working on this category must have been catatonic, or maybe just got caught catnapping:
The kitty carcass catapulted by the cab catercorner across the catwalk caterwauled, then went cataleptic and catatonic. It's hard to categorize such cathodically catheterized cattails as anything but cataclysmically catastrophic. The catcalls clearly catalyzed the cattiest CIA agents to consider acoustic catfish to catch confidential conversations near cataracts. Catfights in cathouses are another matter: maybe covert catsup bottles? Gee that was cathartic - I think I'll have some catnip...
"The future's good and the present is nothing to sneeze at." - Roblimo's last
Well, that explains why I overheard this last week:
.pleeeeeeeeease can I have one?"
"Mommy, I want an accoustic kitty...
Skiers and Riders -- http://www.snowjournal.com
I suppose this would explain why cats do not seem to like water. Perhaps they're all rigged now?
Hrm...
[::imagines the effect of slashdotters killing all cats::] (The black plague started in quite a similar manner.)
This is interesting, but I don't really need michael's permission to free shocked at stupidity and depravity.
In this case, I agree, but I still don't care what michael thinks.
What I would like is for
Obviously a slow news night for michael.
The simple truth is that interstellar distances will not fit into the human imagination
- Douglas Adams
So, let's see : if they wired a kitten, it would emit short waves. Then, as the kitty grows up, the frequency would slowly shift to the long wave band. Kind of like a very slow naturally occuring frequency-hopping encoding : if the Russian had picked up the transmission and went back to it several week after, they wouldn't have been able to find it again !
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
You don't train cats. They Train YOU!
db
Cig:
ôô
I'm afraid it's the fault of us Brits really after all we helped create the CIA by setting up Camp X and the Americans seem to have taken our ideas to heart, this is just another Exploding Rat, I hope I speak for the majority of us Brits when I say... Sorry!
Any sufficiently advanced man is indistinguishable from God
Sad thing is these kinds of right-wing nutjobs are back in power...
You know, when I'm feeling cheerful I'm opposed to the war against the Afgan people, but then I hear of something like this and it reminds me that as long as were busy killing each other at least were not busy killing things that can't fight back.
To commit such crimes against any creature is immoral, but to commit the same crimes against a creature that cannot fight back is inhuman.
So go ahead Uncle Sam, bomb the snot out of some third world regeime, you have my whole hearted support... but if I ever find the bastard that cut that cat open I'll gut him and stick a fscking antenna up his butt.
Go ahead, moderate me.
> The document ... is still partly censored. This implies that the CIA was embarrassed about disclosing all the details of Acoustic Kitty
Actually, the reason is that project Acoustic Bovine was a success, and is being covertly operated on the streets of moscow as we speak.
HIV Crosses Species Barrier... into Muppets
This was reported almost 2 months ago (Sep. 11) here. Admittedly our attention was focused elsewhere.
They could take Hilary Rosen and do the same to her... But wait...what would they do with all the tapes of her wth her (female) lovers??? Mayber sell them on the internet or hook them up to a 900 number??
Accoustic Kitty? I prefer to think of it as radio controlled pussy. :)
It's that no federal agency will ever be able to sensibly prosecute the Bonsai Kitten in the near future. PETA be damned.
...
Scratch that, somehow I don't think that the government would be restrained by mere hypocracy. If anything that seems to be an insentive in its actions.
I don't think this is a stupid idea at all. It was an idea with potential that didn't work out. That is the (most frequent) outcome of research and development. The CIA's Directorate of Science and Technology is responsible for developing new, innovative techniques for intelligence gathering - they're not going to hit home runs every time they try something new.
I'm really suprised at the negative reaction this article has received from a crowd that gets really excited about things like someone running Linux on a wristwatch...
This HAS to be made into a movie, with Quentin Tarantino directing. I'm just imagining the scene where the cat is let out of the van and gets hit by the car... That would be the perfect scene for Tarantino to direct.
So 4 million $ was spent and the cat was rigged and during the demo time - a van mysteriously runs over the cat! Cat works, the van was the villian!
Kinda remids me about my semester project that worked but sadly during the demo time my machine crashed and formatted the disk.
Now I could understand dogs, dogs are trainable, and will do what you want. But a cat? What exactly will it be spying on? The mouse population in russia? Now it seems to me, that most importiant stuff will be in places where cat's can't see them. And people don't read to cats normally (I mean they just sit in the corner looking better like they are better than you.)
=================
Unix is very user friendly, it's just picky about who its friends are.
Go Michael, go!
Why not amped pussy?
I love it when they scream.
If you're a cat lover looking for something else to get upset about, there's the Cat Cam project.
Hmmm...With technology evolving the way it is, "talk to the hand" may take on a whole new meaning.
How about "people" bugs? What they see..we see. What they hear...we hear,etc.
...Operation Audiable Puppy! Soon to be follwed by Operation Omniscient Gerbil!!!
That is all.
Use of kitties for special operations is far more widespread than many people realize. Here are some kitty rules as part of a widespread project to decrease the productivity of American citizens:
Kitty Rules
Bathrooms:
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.
Doors:
Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand on your hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. Especially after you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.
Chairs and Rugs:
If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so the mess is as long as a human's bare foot.
Hampering:
If one of your humans is engaged in some activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping" otherwise known as "hampering". Here are the rules for hampering:
1) when supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
2) for book reading, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
3) for paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work as possible and pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen.
4) for people paying bills or working on income taxes or Christmas cards, keep in mind the aim; to hamper! First sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils and erasers off the table, one at a time.
5) when a human is holding the newspaper in front of them, be sure to jump at the back of the paper, preferably with a running start. Humans love surprises.
6) when a human is working at computer, jump on the desk, walk across keyboard, bat at the mouse pointer on screen, then lay on the human's lap across arms, hampering typing.
Walking:
As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help your human with their coordination skills.
Bedtime:
Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around.
Litter Box:
When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.
Hiding:
Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover you with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat.
One last thought:
Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, turn around and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it
often and, don't forget guests.
Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all the unhappy people.
Heh...Stealth Basselope...
Roswell. I know, I know, it would be more fun if it was aliens. This makes me think maybe the govt just did something really stupid and they're still embarassed.
Call me sick and perverted, but i'd like to see the secret tapes of animals exposed to space and the first tape of naughtiness in space...
At least wasn't as bad as the cat-nuke incident.
How else would you explain Cat Dynamics?
Check out the R&D page, makes Bonsai Kittens look downright cuddly.
Laugh while you can, monkey boy!
he, he, he
Read this. Fictional, but very interesting, and I think you'll learn that we've known how to modify brain activity with properly placed charges for quite some time. The brain passes signals using electrical impulses (more or less). If we can create our own, well, we can trigger certain results. "Damn, I'm hungry." *ZzZaaAApPp* "Wow, I'm stuffed!"
Why bother.
Why bother owning having a cat? Try the following instead:
1) Scatter beard shavings, hair & shaving brush bristles over carpets and chairs.
2) Place lumps of festering s**t in dark corners, and pour urine over important and sentimental objects.
3) Strategically place small piles of vomit at the bottom of stairs, by the side of beds, in shoes, etc, in fact anywhere that people are likely to stand when not wearing shoes or socks.
4) Stand in the back garden during the very early hours of the morning and scream as loud as you can until morning.
5) Leave bird feathers and their entrails all over the house but especially in the bedroom.
6) Using a red felt-tip pen draw big horrible scabby spots on your legs just where your socks start to imitate flea bites.
7) When friends come to visit scratch, wheeze and sneeze violently.
I'm tired of getting chain emails from my friends telling me to "save the bonsai kittens".
and this is another story to prove it. (By the way, cats are much smarter than humans ;)
Just image a webcam kitty!!!! Oh the FUN you could have with that!
Hey, as long as we're posting offensive links about cats, you all should check out Kitty Porn.
It's is suspected that the Gulf of Tonkin Incident was actually based on the above operation.
If you havent read it already check out Body of Secrets , a recent history of the NSA, and proof that the land of the free is far from that
This story was on BBC Radio 4 last week.
You do not know how long I have been looking for a name for my band!
Accustic Kitty rox u 2 hell!
The world moves for love. It kneels before it in awe.
OpenNAP and gnutella :-)
From the original article:
"By coincidence, in 1966, a British film called "Spy With a Cold Nose" featured a dog wired up to eavesdrop on the Russians. It was the same year as the Acoustic Kitty was tested."
Man, and I'll bet heads were rolling in Langley looking for their leak. We are, after all, discussing one of the most paranoid organizations on the entire planet.
blog |
That would depend on the change in Resistance/Reactance, Inductance & Capacitance of the tail as the kitten grew older. As a cat-lover, I'm not sure I'd like to see research into that one!
Is Operation Acoustic Kitty just another application of this Carnivore thing I keep hearing about?
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Perhaps modern cats are descendants of this wired kitty, which would explain their fear of water.
How did this end up in the "It's Funny. Laugh." section? This is a sad, depressing story. Regardless of whether you think the experiment was necessary, it's hardly funny.
...I'm so glad they're putting my tax money to good use...
It's 10 PM. Do you know if you're un-American?
NeCoRo is 1 month old.
He weighs 1.6 kilograms.
He is 32 centimeters tall.
He has grey hair.
His hairballs are real.
But he is not.
Sheepdot: Open Source good, Closed Source baaaaaaad!
During WWII the germans decided that it would be a good idea to strap explosives to dog and let them run under a tank and stay there to blow it up. Well after weeks of field training they were finally ready. They strapped them up and took them out and let them loose on the Allied forces, only problem is they ran straight back and hid under german tanks (cause that's what they were trained to do). No one thought that they should train them to recognize an Allied tank and hide under that instead.
or maybe it was the russians.. i'm not sure now but either way.. not to bright.
"They tested him and tested him. They found he would walk off the job when he got hungry, so they put another wire in to override that"
Damn...I was hungry a few minutes ago, but now I'm not.. I wonder if I'm bugged.
Oddly enough, now that I'm not hungry, I just have the urge to buy some WindowsXP and assassinate Marshall Ledbetter. *shrug*
This story was already posted at The Portal Of Evil's Newspage. Great resource if you dig all sorts of crazy and sick news.
Shameless Self Promotion : Webhosting at Blender Networks.
Please speak slowly and clearly into the browneye, sir.
Although it is a humourous idea naetheless. After all, in all the movies the guards don't worry about the noise when they see the cat. I can see the new scene:
Wow, it was a wonder-weapon!
While folks may poke fun at the CIA for their early efforts at animal-based intelligence gathering devices, but without failures like acoustic kitty, we wouldn't be in a position now to launch the Operation Covert Camel, which experts believe could crack the al Qaeda network wide open. (Can anyone say Pillow Talk ;)
n/t
See this User Friendly cartoon.
To use a pussy to extract information from the Soviets ;-)
Russian Dude: Here kitty kitty, let me scratch under your chin.
Meanwhile in the survalance van:
CIA Dude: I'm picking up some sort of chopping sound, they must be jamming us.
JET Program: see Japan, meet intere
Watch them closely around water. If it avoids water like the plague, seems to hate it... it probably has hardware & batteries up its butt.
There's nothing Intelligent about Intelligent Design.
Well, yeah, the BBC lost it... They lost several SEASONS of Dr. Who, for cryin' out loud! They'd probably lose their asses if they weren't attached!
IBM had PL/1, with syntax worse than JOSS,
And everywhere the language went, it was a total loss...