Slashdot Mirror
HP: Rival Printers Mean No More HPs Through Dell
blamanj writes: "Dell Computer seems to have pissed off HP, with their intent to sell their own printers. HP will apparently stop supplying printers to Dell, even though the new Dell products are not yet shipping."
what?
None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.
fp
It's tasty!
Trolling Stones' lyrics quiz!
See if you can get them all without using a search engine
You must provide the artist and song title for full credit.
1) have you come to raise the dead
have you come here to play jesus
to the lepers in your head
2) i think of all the education that i missed
but then my homework was never quite like this
3) you've been running
hiding much too long
you know it's just your foolish pride
4) he picks up gideon's bible
open at page one
old charlie stole the handle
and the train it won't stop going
you know it couldn't slow down
5) but three months later
he said he won't date her
or return her calls
and she swears god damn
if she finds that man
cuttin off his balls
g to the oatse
c to the izzex
fo shizzle my nizzle eating Tandoori chicke turned my feces bright red!
you said pissed
uh huh huh
You were a great company once.
Dude, yer goin' to hell!
2nd post biznanthcl
Everyone knows they make the momey from the cartrages, not the actual units. Kind of like the game console sales model.
In a truely competitive market, a company gets nowhere by not selling their product to someone else. If I were an HP stock holder, I'd be pissed.
Burn Hollywood Burn
I hate this sort of thing. Corporations refusing to sell their products as an anti-competitive tactic. It's a textbook microsoft move.
I'm wondering, how common is this outside of the computer industry?
In Capitalist America, bank robs you!
Poor HP is pouting, now.
If you ignorant fucking geeks knew anything about it, or if your opinions mattered at all (which tend to go hand in hand), I would be interested in reading the replies to this article.
As it stands, you people will just post a bunch of moronic comments claiming that 'this is bad' or 'this is good' or 'linux r00lz!'.
Go fuck yourselves.
You're only giving a long-term leg-up to your competition by allowing them to smoothly and easily transition to their own product line by continuing to sell them yours. You're giving up a short-term gain for a bit of long-term hurt. Exactly what I would have done.
This whole 'coopetition' thing is just like Microsoft tries to get competitors to do. "Let us use your product and embrace it until we're ready to demolish it."
I'm gonna take my toys and go home.
Dell really should go ahead with their own line of printers. They're obviously the best in the computer market, and they can be awesome with printers, too.
We're Doomed
I thought the money was in printer cartridges not the actual printers themselves. Besides, to make money Dell would need to sell their products at retail locations which are already covered pretty well with HPs. They wouldn't be able to make enough money just selling to their own customers.
Even if I was buying a Dell computer, why would I care? What advantage is there to buying a printer from the same place you order your computer from? Has Dell been selling HP printers less than what I could buy from any other mail order outlet? Less than what I could buy the same HP printer from Fry's (or wherever)?
FP
Seriously, don't use Debian to run Mozilla. People still know you can't spell no matter what
OS or browser you use.
That is because with HP's purchase of Compaq, they are in direct competition with Dell with the PC. Now I wonder who will be next. HP is just shooting itslef on this one. Do they really want Dell to get pissed at them and start making inkjet printers with cheaper ink?
HP doesn't have to sell to printers to Dell if they don't want to. The anti-competitve argument is invalid.
I don't think HP legally can do it under antimonopoly laws: you can't sell your goods only to selected companies - you MUST sell it to everyone who will pay listed price.
Ever since Carly arrived she has been more interested in pushing her "image" instead of doing what's right for the company. She's running HP into the ground, and she's going to make a bazillion $ doing it, while killing the jobs of a bazillion employees.
My next printer is an Epson.
BC
Dude, you're not getting an HP.
R.I.P.
I really hope they have Lexmark make their printers. IMHO, their quality is unsurpassed.
We're Doomed
Oh right! Dell's going to make printers. That makes as much sense as HP making computers.
wait a second....
Best Windows Freeware
posted by apple lied yesterday:
.Mac service be more reliable? .mac member. .Mac membership and an active net connection?
Q: Will the new for-pay
A: No.
Q: Will there be a phone number to call for technical support?
A: No.
Q: Will there be an e-mail address to report outages?
A: No.
Q: Will there, in fact, be any support at all?
A: No.
Q: Will the 100MB of storage come with an increased bandwidth limit for web sites?
A: No.
Q: Will you be telling us what the bandwidth limits are?
A: No.
Q: Will you support CGI, PHP, SSI, SQL, servlets, JSP, WebObjects applications, or anything else beyond regular static HTML files?
A: No.
Q: Will I be able to get access to my web logs? Or any other realtime webspace access statistics?
A: No.
Q: What about backup--our files are safe if we back them up to iDisk, right?
A: No. Apple does not guarantee the integrity of any files on iDisk, even if placed there by the Apple Backup software.
Q: Well, we can at least use the Backup software to back up our computers to CD-R, right?
A: No, not if you have any files bigger than 650MB.
Q: What about using my external tape drive, DVD drive or Firewire hard drive?
A: No, Backup only works with Apple-supplied internal drives. And only if you're a
Q: So the backup software doesn't back up from my local hard disk to my local CD burner, unless I have a
A: Correct.
Q: OK. The service also includes anti-virus software. Are there any Mac OS X viruses at all?
A: No.
Q: If I don't use Microsoft Office, do I need to worry about macro viruses?
A: No.
Q: Umm... OK. So how much for this invaluable service?
A: $99 for one year. Plus tax. In advance.
Q: Can I get two accounts, for me and my wife?
A: Sure, that'll be $198 plus tax. In advance.
Q: No, I mean can I get a second account at a discount because I've already bought one?
A: Oh, alright then, quit whining. You can get a second account for $10 a year if you buy one full account.
Q: And it'll have the backup, anti-virus, and web functionality?
A: No, only an e-mail address.
Q: Ah... but at least it'll be a full e-mail account, right?
A: No, you'll only get 5MB of space. But that's nearly enough to hold five days' spam.
Q: Can't my two accounts just share the same space for a nominal extra fee?
A: No.
Q: Is there a satisfaction guarantee?
A: Yes. Apple reserves the right to terminate your access to the online services and the software, without cause, without notice and without refunding your money, if it's not satisfied with your behavior.
Q: What kinds of things am I not allowed to post on my web site?
A: Anything "lewd" or "vulgar", anything "embarrassing" to anyone, or anything that counts as advertising for any product or service.
Q: So you want $99 a year for an e-mail address, useless backup software, anti-virus software I could buy for $50, and web space limited to inoffensive pictures of fluffy kittens? $99 even if I only want to keep the "lifetime e-mail address" that you previously said was free just for buying a Mac?
A: Yes. Pay up now, in three weeks we'll delete your files and bounce your mail.
Q: I have one more question... What exactly are you smoking out there in Cupertino?
A: We think it's crack. Think different.
HP must have be confident that they can do well with their own sales.
Carleton S. (Carly) Fiorina is Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Hewlett-Packard. Click the link to tell her what you think.
"God fights on the side with the best artillery." - Napoleon, Marshal of France - speaking truth to power
With the (somewhat) recent prosecution of Microsoft, I read up (somewhat) on Anti-trust laws, and this seems to be text book. "Hewlett-Packard Co. , the No. 1 printer and personal computer maker" stops selling printers to Dell because of a completely unrelated business venture (Dell making printers), in hopes to keep their 'monopoly' on printers. Could someone explain how this isn't antitrust?
I'm not.
Since when have these companies really cared about their customers, rather than their egos?
Sorry to be so cynical, but this is just all too common and pathetic.
-----rhad
Slashdot needs to interview Natalie Portman.
And in other news, Microsoft refuses to sell Windows to Dell as long as they are selling computers with Linux pre-loaded.
HP, uncreative as always, goodbye!
Carly Bitch-Slaps Michael, film at 11.
This seems actually to be a very good prisoner's dilemma-style situation. And in this case, they both chose to screw each other. If you are familiar with prisoner's dilemma, you know that this is the worst possible option.
I think this is very bizarre... especially since it's really Dell that has the advantage since they possess the customer relationships (the most valuable asset). It seems that it would have been better for HP to hold off a bit and use the time to transition Dell's customers away from HP.
HP printers are gold. Who doesn't have one? Dell's printers would have been low-end cheap hassles and Dell would have had no motivation to keep them around without investing heavily into them.
Now HP is forcing to make Dell into a real printer competitor. Like HP needs more competition. Sheesh. Dell will now invest time and money into building a business to burn HP. That effort won't cripple Dell's core business which is stomping HP.
this is a test of an anonymous proxy
I know everyone is saying this is a bad move for HP and it very well may be but I think I see what they are doing. If Dell intends to produce their own printers why would they continue to purchase HP priinters in the future when it obviously will end up being far cheaper for them to manufactor and package their own. HP is trying to cut them off before they can do this and hurt them in computer sales when they won't be able to package anymore HP printers while going on with this. One of two things will happen, either Dell will get suckered into a big fat increase on HP printers or they will have to go with another manufactor. Either way its not that bad for HP because they can focus on supplying other vendors, theirselves included or they will get some additional revenue while hurting Dell. Business as usual.
The article states that printers are sold at a loss and that most consumers prefer to buy their ink cartridges at local retail stores (the profit maker). Because HP has presence in the retail arena this makes sense. However, Dell must believe that customers are willing to purchase supplies online for Dell branded printers, even knowing that most consumers prefer to do retail.
I don't know about everyone else, but I don't buy ink cartridges until I need them and when I do I run down to the store and pick one up because they are so freaking expensive. Unless you are monitoring your ink, you can't predict when you will need to order another one online and wait 3-5 days to get it.
As for HP cutting off sales to Dell? Seems par for the course for a company that hasn't made very many good decisions lately.
OPEN SOURCE MISCONCEPTIONS
By Serial Troller
Myth: Open Source is written by heterosexuals.
Fact: All Open Source development is done by raging homosexuals. The more flaming examples include Anal Cox, Linus Turdballs, Eric Ass-Reaming Raymond, and the entire Slashdot crew. The ringleader of the slashdotters, a man named CmdrTaco, engages in a practice known as Taco-snotting, along with his faggot-buddies Jeff Homos Bates and CowBoiKneel.
Myth: Open Source is written for heterosexuals.
Fact: Using Open Source software can cause suppressed homosexual fantasies to surface, leading to all out flaming faggotry within 6-8 weeks. Anecdotes of otherwise hetero men turning queer are far too numerous to count, but a few examples stand out. In one case, a man was arrested loitering outside an elementary school and making sexual overtures to several children: he quickly confessed that shortly after installing the Mozilla browser on his computer, he began to have uncontrollable urges to, to put it simply, have his cock sucked off by little boys. He soon met several other like-minded men through discussions on the Bugger Zilla mailing list (all already homosexuals), who together kidnapped a total of seven children whom they brought back to their apartment and sodomized. The other two men are still at large and believed to still be using Mozilla.
Myth: Open Source is multicultural.
Fact: Open Source is openly racist.
Myth: Open Source is democratic.
Fact: Open Source is controlled by a few narrow-minded zealots (mentioned throughout this post), most of whom are either Communists, Stalinists, Nazis, or Fascists. Additionally, Open Source supports terrorism.
Myth: Open Source is tolerant of religious preferences.
Fact: Open Source developers regularly engage in holy wars over the superiority of various Open Source projects, such as the Emacs program (preferred by Christians) versus vi (used mostly by neo-pagans and Satanists); or the KDE desktop (a favorite among Muslims) versus the GNOME project (particularly favored by Jews). Posts initiating crusades or jihads against other developers can be found regularly throughout the newsgroups and mailing lists.
Myth: Open Source is tolerant of sexual preference.
Fact: See above. Either you are a homo, you become a homo, or you never visit Richard Stallman alone in his office and hope to God you never meet him on the street at night.
Myth: Open Source is tolerant of political differences.
Fact: Open Source is an anarcho-communist philosophy bent on the destruction of capitalism. The very same Richard Stallman, a man whose name is disturbingly reminiscent of Stalin, has stated several times in public that his vision includes the subjugation of all who own intellectual properties under the jackboot of the GPL. The GPL is a pernicious piece of literature lifted straight from Karl Marxs Communist Manifesto, and is fortunately banned in many democratic nations.
* * * * * UPDATE * * * * *
Myth: Open Source programming is a harlmess, healthy activity.
Fact: Open Source programming has been known to lead to massive obesity, violent tendencies with an obsession with handguns, paranoid-delusional ranting, and in severe cases, complete insanity. If anyone you know is thinking about going Open Source, stop them before its too late!
* * * * * UPDATE * * * * *
____________________
2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.
- posted by poopbot: for all your crapflooding needs
wukJqzoKfa Post #727
Found in comp.lang.lisp
--
I can find Ivory for MAC or mac with this board if this available and all
document connect with this my system is expired and crash into
fire....grr...
--
Hilarious.
Epson also is pretty good. And it has good software to go along with it, too. I use a Lexmark Z31 and an Epson C60 and they both work great.
We're Doomed
Hi there. I'm CmdrTaco, one of the ruling despots here at slashdot. Earlier today I realized that I've been deeply troubled by recent events here on slashdot, more troubled than I've been willing to admit to myself. The plebs here have been making alot of noise in the last 24 hours, ever since this thread [slashdot.org] arose on the "Oracle Breakable After All" story. My attitude was the usual "fuck them all", and I thought the matter undeserving of even a moment of my time. But then a strange thing happened; I was stricken by impotence. I beat and I beat and I beat, and yet even with the aid of the very finest tentacle-rape anime divx selections available, I found myself unable to climax. Even having Hemos choke me with his belt till my face turned blue failed to do the trick. Clearly, something was terribly wrong.
And so, I went soul-searching. I thought back on the other night and the bitchslapping rampage I went on in that thread. I thought of some of the very low UIDs whom I'd smacked down, I thought about the many user moderations that me and the other editors had unjustly overturned with our unlimited mod points. I considered the outcry, the suggestions that we were ignoring the will of our own community, that we were evading a subject that desperately needs discussing, that we were acting autocratically and making hypocrites of ourselves. All these things I pondered, and I pondered long and hard. And this is what I have to say:
Go away.
When me and Hemos began this site so long ago now, we were starry-eyed small-town lovers; young, naive, and drunk on the possibility that a real revolution of sorts might be on the horizon, and that it might involve small furry animals. And so we opened up our labour of love to the world, never suspecting that it would become even half of what it has become today. Things were good, for a time.
But things change. None of you could ever understand just what it feels like, and what it does to a man, to have such a large userbase grow up under your shoddy perl scripts. Unless it happens to you firsthand, you can never truly know. They say that power corrupts, and I am here to tell you that it is true. Once, I cared. I really did. But you people... you went from being individuals, from people I could care about and chat with on #slashdot, to becoming a giant formless mass.. a formless mass seperated into factions; an army of idiots filling my inbox with crap and my RAID array with drivel. Every thread now, I'm lucky if I can find a single comment that doesn't appear to be stamped down by a dim-witted cookie-cutter of a mind. Endless parrotting, pompous bullshit, and people so one-dimensional that it is frightening. I have a secret for you: I too believe that the absurdist noise and distraction of the 'trolls' is the most worthwhile part of slashdot these days. I don't care about anything anymore, save bukkake vids and the occasional good troll.
So then, why do me and my editors censor with an iron fist? Why do we stamp every bit of humour and joy left in this place out and try to make it more and more soullessly grey with each passing day? Because I don't want to have a dialogue with you fucking plebs about the deterioration of this site, I don't want to save it; I want this failed experiment to implode upon the weight of its users' own hypocrisy and hyperbole. You say this site should be a microcosm for the free and open society of the future? Don't you see that it already is? And you wonder why it stinks of shit...
It will continue as it has. The majority of you will come regardless of what we do. I could piss on your mothers and assfuck your fathers and you'd still come to stroke your egos and share your reactionary politics with the world and to waste countless more hours of your miserable days away. The arms-race will continue. You think a bit of mass -1 Offtopics is bad? Brotha you ain't seen nothin yet. The editors will continue to be my hand-picked squad of the biggest fucking assholes I can manage to dredge up. We will continue to ignore your whinging about censorship, indeed we will ramp it up, because we don't fucking care. There will be countless more stories about the latest lame yuppie toys, the latest minor kernel revision, "look what I found in subsection 123.23.1c of this license!", and all manner of other predictable crap for you to hurl your canned responses at and exercise your dogmas on. Katz will continue to offer you his unique brand of insight until the end of time. And we, as always, could care less what you think or want. Droids and trolls alike; you will all lap it up.
You were expecting some great revelation or commitment to reform to become of this? hohohoho... as if I give a damn about the silly dramas you fools generate out of bit-patterns slapping into my DB. I was troubled, but only because I cloaked my true opinions in silence and continued to play the role of naive otaku-boy and open-source ass-puppet. Because I wasn't being honest with myself or with all of you. Now I can speak the truth, and my soul is unburdened. You may now go back to wallowing in the shit; I'm off to blow my load in Hemos' pretty pink face.
Remember this: we are only a mirror.
Thank you.
Living in the Bay Area, I find the main trouble I see is that any attack on Fiorina's ideas or methods is immediately interpreted in some quarters as an attack against women in important roles (like CEO). Granted, some people do make things a gender issue ("that stupid bitch", etc), but it's frustrating to be grouped in with them when you try to make reasonable points. It's gotten to the point where I group her with politics and religion as things to avoid in friendly conversation.
No matter, though; I've sold my HP stock and I don't work there, so maybe my company will see a rise in business while HP starts to toss theirs. Still, it's always sad to see a company sunk by its PHBs.
PS: I think renaming the Compaq Center the "HP Pavillion" is probably the tackiest thing I've every heard. Fortunately, for the locals who care it'll always be the Shark Tank.
Every year during my review, I just pray the words "slashdot.org" aren't mentioned.
>>Dell spokesman Mike Maher said his company would still sell HP branded printers that it purchases through distributors, but expressed dismay at HP's decision. "Frankly we're surprised that a company would make it harder for customers to get their hands on their products," he said.
No, it's not harder to get an HP printer, I can go to any of 1000 stores near me and pick one up quite easily, as can any number of new-computer buying people.
Dell is trying to muscle into HP's area, and this is how HP is responding. I'm not surprised at all...
So rise up, all ye lost ones, as one, we'll claw the clouds.
Dell would have done this anyway, but HP just helped it along...
It reminds me of my local grocery store - Kroger. They, from my perspective, seem to be slowly pushing name brand products off their shelves and replacing them with Kroger brand products.
Same thing - except Kellogg's didn't pull their Apple Jacks when Kroger introduced their cheaper knockoff version.
www.flashings.com
user: content
pass: content
Hi there. I'm CmdrTaco, one of the ruling despots here at slashdot. Earlier today I realized that I've been deeply troubled by recent events here on slashdot, more troubled than I've been willing to admit to myself. The plebs here have been making alot of noise in the last 24 hours, ever since this thread [slashdot.org] arose on the "Oracle Breakable After All" story. My attitude was the usual "fuck them all", and I thought the matter undeserving of even a moment of my time. But then a strange thing happened; I was stricken by impotence. I beat and I beat and I beat, and yet even with the aid of the very finest tentacle-rape anime divx selections available, I found myself unable to climax. Even having Hemos choke me with his belt till my face turned blue failed to do the trick. Clearly, something was terribly wrong. And so, I went soul-searching. I thought back on the other night and the bitchslapping rampage I went on in that thread. I thought of some of the very low UIDs whom I'd smacked down, I thought about the many user moderations that me and the other editors had unjustly overturned with our unlimited mod points. I considered the outcry, the suggestions that we were ignoring the will of our own community, that we were evading a subject that desperately needs discussing, that we were acting autocratically and making hypocrites of ourselves. All these things I pondered, and I pondered long and hard. And this is what I have to say: Go away. When me and Hemos began this site so long ago now, we were starry-eyed small-town lovers; young, naive, and drunk on the possibility that a real revolution of sorts might be on the horizon, and that it might involve small furry animals. And so we opened up our labour of love to the world, never suspecting that it would become even half of what it has become today. Things were good, for a time. But things change. None of you could ever understand just what it feels like, and what it does to a man, to have such a large userbase grow up under your shoddy perl scripts. Unless it happens to you firsthand, you can never truly know. They say that power corrupts, and I am here to tell you that it is true. Once, I cared. I really did. But you people... you went from being individuals, from people I could care about and chat with on #slashdot, to becoming a giant formless mass.. a formless mass seperated into factions; an army of idiots filling my inbox with crap and my RAID array with drivel. Every thread now, I'm lucky if I can find a single comment that doesn't appear to be stamped down by a dim-witted cookie-cutter of a mind. Endless parrotting, pompous bullshit, and people so one-dimensional that it is frightening. I have a secret for you: I too believe that the absurdist noise and distraction of the 'trolls' is the most worthwhile part of slashdot these days. I don't care about anything anymore, save bukkake vids and the occasional good troll. So then, why do me and my editors censor with an iron fist? Why do we stamp every bit of humour and joy left in this place out and try to make it more and more soullessly grey with each passing day? Because I don't want to have a dialogue with you fucking plebs about the deterioration of this site, I don't want to save it; I want this failed experiment to implode upon the weight of its users' own hypocrisy and hyperbole. You say this site should be a microcosm for the free and open society of the future? Don't you see that it already is? And you wonder why it stinks of shit... It will continue as it has. The majority of you will come regardless of what we do. I could piss on your mothers and assfuck your fathers and you'd still come to stroke your egos and share your reactionary politics with the world and to waste countless more hours of your miserable days away. The arms-race will continue. You think a bit of mass -1 Offtopics is bad? Brotha you ain't seen nothin yet. The editors will continue to be my hand-picked squad of the biggest fucking assholes I can manage to dredge up. We will continue to ignore your whinging about censorship, indeed we will ramp it up, because we don't fucking care. There will be countless more stories about the latest lame yuppie toys, the latest minor kernel revision, "look what I found in subsection 123.23.1c of this license!", and all manner of other predictable crap for you to hurl your canned responses at and exercise your dogmas on. Katz will continue to offer you his unique brand of insight until the end of time. And we, as always, could care less what you think or want. Droids and trolls alike; you will all lap it up. You were expecting some great revelation or commitment to reform to become of this? hohohoho... as if I give a damn about the silly dramas you fools generate out of bit-patterns slapping into my DB. I was troubled, but only because I cloaked my true opinions in silence and continued to play the role of naive otaku-boy and open-source ass-puppet. Because I wasn't being honest with myself or with all of you. Now I can speak the truth, and my soul is unburdened. You may now go back to wallowing in the shit; I'm off to blow my load in Hemos' pretty pink face. Remember this: we are only a mirror. Thank you.
reason HP is pulling printers from Dell is because that
lovable scamp, the "Dell Guy", reportedly grabbed Carly's
ass at a recent "goodwill" meeting.
Carly was overheard to say "He'll never get his hands
on my toner again!". The Dell Guy responded with "Dude,
what a rude BITCH!"
Can someone without an actual job please find this link?
If thou see a fair woman pay court to her, for thus thou wilt obtain love
When are you libertarian types going to figure out the biggest threat to your freedom is not the government, but corporations?
Ok, HP stock is at $11.58 from $25 a year ago. You would think they would take every sell they could make.
The dell kid must die. He is the most god damned annoying pitchman since billy mays.
Most people buying computers these days don't give a damn whether their printer is an HP, Lexmark, Generic, etc. All they want is to be able to print out their book reports and greeting cards. So, looking at the printer business, we see that since HP sells its printers at a loss for the intention of making up the price in the sale of cartridges, then I commend them for what they did. The article points out that Dell sales amounted to about 2 days worth of HP's annual sales. What have they got to lose?
If I was a shareholder, I would be fine with that they did. Why compete against Dell's own printers when the publiic doesn't care for brand, all the care for is price?
Idiots like you get to spew complete crap like that.
HP printers are well worth the money, fantastic uptime with little in the way of repair costs.
Shut the fuck up, you little homo.
The dell kid must die. His death must be slow, humiliating, and most of all painfull. This is deserved for his crimes against humanity, mass annoyance. Any suggestions?
Looks like one bad decision after the next. First that moronic Compaq-HP merger and then this.
Makes sense to me.
Why would Dell want to be dependent on Compaq for its printers?
Why would Compaq want to assist Dell's sales of computer systems by selling them printers.
I expect Compaq-HP would have cut Dell off eventually, or ramped up the printer prices to put them at a competitive disadvantage to Compaq's line and sucked out their market share in the PC business. (If nothing else, continuing the relationship would bring up anti-trust issues eventually.)
So Dell started cutting the apron strings, and Compaq used this as an excuse to do as much damage to them as possible in one hit.
Bantam Dominique roosters crow a four-note song. Once you've heard it as "Happy BIRTHday" you can't NOT hear it that way
They might be King of the Computer market but they don't make the best computers, at least not when we're not talking about your normal mom and pop AOL/MSN user.
I make my own computers. It's cheaper and higher quality.
But I do concede...I won't be making my own printers. Yet, I won't be buying a Dell printer either, dude.
-- Scientist: You aren't going to leave me here, are you? Boagh! Thump...
It's (potentially) better than that (for printer buyers and users)..
1. Dell detects that HP/Canon/Epson are keeping margins artificially high on printers. Dell does a gut check to see if they can undercut the BigBoyz in the marketplace. Dell decides they can.
2. HP sees a new competitor with money, knowledge and resources in the PC arena, decides that rather than allow Dell to transition smoothly to offering their Dell-branded printers, "We can offer you a Dell brand printer 25% cheaper than the comparable HP and give you free extended support.", HP decides to deprive Dell of some printer customers.
3. Dell now has to scramble to get their printers to market, maybe they make some "entry mistakes" maybe they don't (i'd bet don't), regardless, now Dell has to explain WHY they can't offer the customer (most esp CORPORATE buyers who have been told EXACTLY what model HP printer to buy) the world's best-selling printers.
4. HP now goes DIRECTLY to the big Dell corporate accoutants and attempts to undercut Dell's nascent printer biz, the most common technique will be reduced prices.
5. Dell responds with further price drops across their new printer line to gain and retain sales.
Should it actually work that way, that just the "Capitialism Classic" approach to business.
The Egyptians did it 4000 years ago.
Ten quid, she's so easy to blind. And not a word is spoken...
This would be an interesting story purely from a business perspective, but the fact that it's about printers gives it a different spin.
Printer profits also depend on sales of ink, since the printers themselves are often sold at a loss [...]
The lack of true competition specifically in the inkjet / bubblejet market is sickening - there is hardly any other market where producers can get away with the shameless margins seen here. Basically you're paying $50 for a $5 piece of hobbled (i.e., you can't refil it) equipment, over and over again. I would prefer to pay a market price for a printer, if I got to pay a fair price for the cartridges later on. Hopefully a additional big player will even things out a bit.
yes, we have no bananas
I hope Dell's computer quality transfers over to their printers, they'd beat HP down, and I like HP printers, that's the only thing from HP I'd EVER buy.
--fetch daddy's blue fright wig, i must be handsome when i release my rage
I hate you, Michael Dell, and I want to kick your smelly Texan ass.
Playing devil's advocate here...
Dell is getting into the printer market now with no reputation in that market. While they have a substantial share of the PC market, are any other PC manufacturers going to be willing to purchase/sell Dell printers? Which of their competitors will be willing to sell a printer with Dell's name on it?
HP/Compaq on the other hand, while it has its hand in the PC market, is not really viewed (at least by me) as a PC company. This move MAY encourage other PC manufacturers to go with HP (widely viewed as the superior printer) as a strategy to better compete with Dell.
I believe a similar situation existed in the fast food market a few years ago when Pepsi owned Taco Bell, KFC, and Pizza Hut. Those restaurants ALL sold Pepsi products. Since they were under the same umbrella, lots of other fast food chains were selling Coca Cola products because selling Pepsi was in essence giving money to their competitor. Pepsi eventually spun these restaurants off into a seperate company so that they could have a chance at sales in the competing restaurants.
Not saying I'm right, but it is a point to consider...
"He hated Mexicans, and he was half Mexican. AND he hated irony!"
There is no reason why HP should make it easy for Dell to transition into making their own printers by temporarily supplying Dell with printers until Dell can get their operations going. As long as Dell was featuring HP printers the relationship worked. Now that it's clear Dell is merely using HP until they can get their operations going, there's no reason for HP to play along. You can't blame HP for doing what little they can to try to frustrate Dell's attempts to compete against one of HP's core product lines. If you don't understand this, then you're probably a bit confused about why the company you work for is constantly losing money, it's stock price is in the crapper, your stock options are worthless, and oh, by the way, you're being laid-off.
I'd think this would HELP HP sales...
Example: a consumer goes grocery shopping and wants to get some tortilla chips to make some nachos. They see two kinds:
Tostitos - the name brand
and
Stop and Shop (or A&P - whatever) store brand tortilla chips
I'd guess that (assuming Tostitos' popularity via advertisement, etc.) that the consumer might be more inclined to lean towards the brand name.
Now take that to Dell. User goes to buy a computer, doesn't know printers that well, but has heard of HP being a solid brand of printers. Sees the Dell brand as a "cheesy rip off store brand" and buys the HP...
P.S. I have nothing against store brand tortilla chips. ;^)
Either your network or ip address has been banned from this site
due to script flooding that originated from your network or ip address -- or this IP might have been used to post comments designed to break web browser rendering. If you feel that this is unwarranted, feel free to include your IP address (1.2.3.4) in the subject of an email, and we will examine why there is a ban. If you fail to include the IP address (again, in the Subject!), then your message will be deleted and ignored. I mean come on, we're good, we're not psychic.
Since you can't read the FAQ because you're banned, here's the relevant portion:
Why is my IP banned?
 Perhaps you are running some sort of program that loaded thousands of Slashdot Pages. We have limited resources here and are fairly protective of them. We need to make sure that everyone shares. If your IP loads thousands of pages in a day, you will likely be banned. Please note that many proxy servers load large quantities of pages, but we can usually distinguish between proxy servers being used by humans, and IPs running software that is hammering our servers.
 Your IP might have been used to perform some sort of denial of service attack against Slashdot. These range from simple programs that just load a lot of pages, to programs that attempt to coordinate an avalanche of posts in the forums (often through misconfigured "Open Relay" proxy servers).
 You might be using a proxy server that is also being used by another person who did something from the above list. You should have your proxy server administrator contact us.
 Your IP might have been used to post comments designed to break web browser rendering.
Answered by: CmdrTaco
Last Modified: 7/02/02
How do I get an IP Unbanned?
Email banned@slashdot.org. Make sure to include the IP in question, and any other pertinent information. If you are connecting through a proxy server, you might need to have your proxy server's admin contact us instead of you.
Answered by: CmdrTaco
Last Modified: 3/26/02
- posted by poopbot: news for turds, stuff that splatters
mX3D99vmNs Post #734
This older article at CNet has a quote from HP saying "Dell's business represented an 'insignificant' portion of HP's total printing and imaging business, equal to only a few days' sales per year." For all of the posts saying HP is shooting itself in the foot, or are making a bad decision, ask yourself, what would you do if one of your partners, who sells your products, decided to make their own version of your product and sell that too? HP is making most of their money in the printing industry elsewhere, so why not drop Dell?
It seems that the Janitors, in their infinite wisdom, have banned people who have low/negative karma from posting more than twice per day. Personally I find this completely stupid.
All the trolls will simply post AC as I am doing now. Proxies can be used to get around any ipid bans that result from AC trolls.
Surely it is better to let the trolls post at -1 where it is out of most peoples way rather than have them all post at 0 and suck up mod points and time from "legit" users?
I have tried to communicate my thoughts to the slashcode team but alas, to no avail. They are probably all sittin on their starwars bed sheets watching anime hentai tentacle rape pr0n.
Here is my proposal: All trolls that cannot post using their account post as AC. Use proxies if need be (www.antiproxy.com is a good source). I suspect this will show them how useless this idea is. Will blocking troll uid's stop trolls? NO! will ipid bans stop trolls? NO!
I seriously fail to see the point of this and consider it a stupid move by the janitors.
They want us to troll and crapflood at 0 rather than -1? Fine! So be it! No longer will we post at -1 where few people dare to visit, now we will post at 0 where we will be more visible and waste peoples time, energy and mod points! Hoorah!
The next thing you know, posting AC will be banned! Then what will you do? No more posting interesting insider tidbits! Groupthink all the way baby! oh yeah!
So logout, post shit, use proxies and above all have fun!
Let the games begin! -- on by
- posted by poopbot: for the crapflooder in all of us
t5w2SFxptH Post #735
You must not say the name of he who is most wickedly annoying! that name burns my ears!
I remember reading or hearing, not to long ago, that the FTC was beginning some investigations into the practice of those Expiring Gift Cards and Power Cards or whatever they happen to be called. Some people are calling for them to be regulated, similar to Escrow accounts, which is basically what they are.
You put your money, into a non-interest bearing account for future use. Escrow accounts that are called such, simply do not expire. At least, I haven't heard of any that expire...
One more thing, if you will eventually be running out of ink, you would end up using that second ink cartridge. So, you aren't buying something that will be wasted. Buying something that would be wasted would be if Dell forced you to buy an ink cartridge for a different printer and disallowed you from returning that ink cartridge. Unless you intended to buy that other printer... You would be buying something that you would never use.
-.-
If you ignore the other uses of a tool, does that make the tool less useful, or you less useful?
dell / fundamentalist merger
..that its just gonna be rebranded Epsons or Lexmarks with custom ink cartridges that you can only get from.. wait for it.. Dell?
HP: Hi, Dell?
Dell: Yes?
HP: This is HP. We're tired of receiving revenue from the printers you sell for us.
Dell: I see.
HP: We're going to stop selling printers through you.
Dell: Well have fun.
I'm not sure what the market share is for all printers for corps. vs. personal use, but this might be more of an act of retaliation than an actual way to cut losses.
--What, you ain't know about them country fried sessions?
With the merger a done deal, HP is reorganizing their divisions, setting new strategies. They probably want to compete more fully with Dell head-to-head in the e-commerce space, and they can't do that if Dell is selling their products.
HP has an established brand of printers, well known, well liked. Dell's printer division is going to have to spend big bucks to get there. Better for HP to yank their printers now and use it as a competitive advantage to sell their own systems, and let Dell fumble around.
ASSHOLE
HP's printers may be okay (though definitely not the industry's best), but their customer service and many of their products (especially peripherals like CD burners) are so horrendously bad, that my company has also banned all HP products. And by the recent acquisition, we have also cancelled our Compaq contracts as well and are in the process of looking for replacements for our Compaq PC's.
I also had the experience of spending probably a month (plus lots of my own money on their non-toll-free support line) trying to get a CD burner of theirs to work (this was a few years ago) and eventually I was told that they couldn't guarantee it would be compatable with my system since my system was self-built! Huh? I was so mad I literally cracked the phone when I slammed it down. Fortunately Best Buy let me return the product past the 15 day return limit (though only for credit) because the person I spoke to said that they have seen this type of thing with HP peripherals before, too many times to count.
Keep up the good work, HP. Would the last one at HP please turn off the light.
United States > TITLE 15 > CHAPTER 1 > Sec. 13. (e)
It shall be unlawful for any person to discriminate in favor of one purchaser against another purchaser or purchasers of a commodity bought for resale, with or without processing, by contracting to furnish or furnishing, or by contributing to the furnishing of, any services or facilities connected with the processing, handling, sale, or offering for sale of such commodity so purchased upon terms not accorded to all purchasers on proportionally equal terms.
Read the ADA!
Need I say more?
Credits: onby
1. Introduction
As everyone knows, Open Source software is the wave of the future. With the market share of GNU/Linux and *BSD increasing every day, interest in Open Source Software is at an all time high.
Developing software within the Open Source model benefits everyone. People can take your code, improve it and then release it back to the community. This cycle continues and leads to the creation of far more stable software than the 'Closed Source' shops can ever hope to create.
So you're itching to create that Doom 3 killer but don't know where to start? Read on!
2. First Steps
The most important thing that any Open Source project needs is a Sourceforge page. There are tens of thousands of successful Open Source projects on Sourceforge; the support you receive here will be invaluable.
OK, so you've registered your Sourceforge project and set the status to '0: Pre-Thinking About It', what's next?
3. Don't Waste Time!
Now you need to set up your SourceForge homepage. Keep it plain and simple - don't use too many HTML tags, just knock something up in VI. Website editors like FrontPage and DreamWeaver just create bloated eye-candy - you need to get your message to the masses!
4. Ask For Help
Since you probably can't program at all you'll need to try and find some people who think they can. If your project is a game you'll probably need an artist too. Ask for help on your new Sourceforge pages. Here is an example to get you started:
"Hi there! Welcom to my SorceForge page! I am planing to create a Fisrt Person Shooter game for Linux that is going to kick Doom 3's ass! I have loads of awesome ideas, like giant robotic spiders! I need some help thouh as I cant program or draw. If you can program or draw the tekstures please get in touch! K thx bye!"
Thousands of talented programmers and artists hang out at Sourceforge ready to devote their time to projects so you should get a team together in no time!
5. The A-Team
So now you have your team together you are ready to change your projects status to '1: Pre-Bickering'. You will need to discuss your ideas with your team mates and see what value they can add to the project. You could use an Instant Messaging program like MSN for this, but since you run Linux you'll have to stick to e-mail.
Don't forget that YOU are in charge! If your team doesn't like the idea of giant robotic spiders just delete them from the project and move on. Someone else can fill their place and this is the beauty of Open Source development. The code might end up a bit messy and the graphics inconsistant - but it's still 'Free as in Speech'!
6. Getting Down To It
Now that you've found a team of right thinking people you're ready to start development. Be prepared for some delays though. Programming is a craft and can take years to learn. Your programmer may be a bit rusty but will probably be writing "hello world" programs after school in no time.
Closed Source games like Doom 3 use the graphics card to do all the hard stuff anyhow, so your programmer will just have to get the NVidia 'API' and it will be plain sailing! Giant robot spiders, here we come!
7. The Outcome
So it's been a few years, you still have no files released or in CVS. Your programmer can't get enough time on the PC because his mother won't let him use it after 8pm. Your artist has run off with a Thai She-Male. Your project is still at '1: Pre-Bickering'...
Congratulations! You now have a successful Open Source project on Sourceforge! Pat yourself on the back, think up another idea and do it all again! See how simple it is?
- posted by poopbot: lovely snot! wonderful snot!
joh72x45Sg Post #736
Why was the parent modded as Funny?
My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
THE TROLL POLKA (ARSCHFICKEN MIT ZIEGEN)
By Serial Troller, 2002-06-25
Is das nicht ein early post? Ja! Das ist mein early post!
Is das nicht ein Goatse ghost? Ja! Das ist mein Goatse ghost!
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Slashdot sucks!
Is das post at minus one? Ja! Das ist at minus one!
Is das trolling so much fun? Ja! Das trolling is so fun!
Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein big crapflood? Ja! Das ist mein big crapflood!
Is it worthless Linux FUD? Ja! Das ist mein Linux FUD!
Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht der CowBoiKneel? Ja! Das ist der CowBoiKneel!
Is dis nicht his manchode meal? Ja! Das ist his manchode meal!
CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein WIPO Troll? Ja! Das ist der WIPO Troll!
Is das nicht ein Goatse hole? Ja! Das ist der Goatse hole!
WIPO Troll, Goatse hole, CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,
Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht Jon Katz' slave boys? Ja! Das ist Jon Katz' slave boys!
Und are they not Taco's sex toys? Ja! They are Taco's sex toys!
Katz' slave boys, Rob's sex toys, WIPO Troll, Goatse hole,
CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein trolltalk thread? Ja! Das ist ein trolltalk thread!
Is it nicht now FUCKING DEAD? Ja! Is really FUCKING DEAD!
Trolltalk thread, FUCKING DEAD! Katz' slave boys, Rob's sex toys,
WIPO Troll, Goatse hole, CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,
Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse ghost,
Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene, Oh, du schoene,
Slashdot sucks!
____________________
Change Log:
* Subtle changes to most verses. It sounded really gay before.
* Removed all references to Taco's pud. May have been high at time. Will investigate further.
* Finally think I have goat sex written correctly in German. I think. Arschficken?
(C) 2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.
- posted by poopbot: providing truth in a deceitful world
QGEVajs4pI Post #737
As for HP's decision, I can think of lots of reasons for HP to do this:
As copyright owner of this comment, I authorize everyone to defeat any technological measure which limits access to it.
OPEN SOURCE MISCONCEPTIONS
By Serial Troller
Myth: Open Source is written by heterosexuals.
Fact: All Open Source development is done by raging homosexuals. The more flaming examples include Anal Cox, Linus Turdballs, Eric Ass-Reaming Raymond, and the entire Slashdot crew. The ringleader of the slashdotters, a man named CmdrTaco, engages in a practice known as Taco-snotting, along with his faggot-buddies Jeff Homos Bates and CowBoiKneel.
Myth: Open Source is written for heterosexuals.
Fact: Using Open Source software can cause suppressed homosexual fantasies to surface, leading to all out flaming faggotry within 6-8 weeks. Anecdotes of otherwise hetero men turning queer are far too numerous to count, but a few examples stand out. In one case, a man was arrested loitering outside an elementary school and making sexual overtures to several children: he quickly confessed that shortly after installing the Mozilla browser on his computer, he began to have uncontrollable urges to, to put it simply, have his cock sucked off by little boys. He soon met several other like-minded men through discussions on the Bugger Zilla mailing list (all already homosexuals), who together kidnapped a total of seven children whom they brought back to their apartment and sodomized. The other two men are still at large and believed to still be using Mozilla.
Myth: Open Source is multicultural.
Fact: Open Source is openly racist.
Myth: Open Source is democratic.
Fact: Open Source is controlled by a few narrow-minded zealots (mentioned throughout this post), most of whom are either Communists, Stalinists, Nazis, or Fascists. Additionally, Open Source supports terrorism.
Myth: Open Source is tolerant of religious preferences.
Fact: Open Source developers regularly engage in holy wars over the superiority of various Open Source projects, such as the Emacs program (preferred by Christians) versus vi (used mostly by neo-pagans and Satanists); or the KDE desktop (a favorite among Muslims) versus the GNOME project (particularly favored by Jews). Posts initiating crusades or jihads against other developers can be found regularly throughout the newsgroups and mailing lists.
Myth: Open Source is tolerant of sexual preference.
Fact: See above. Either you are a homo, you become a homo, or you never visit Richard Stallman alone in his office and hope to God you never meet him on the street at night.
Myth: Open Source is tolerant of political differences.
Fact: Open Source is an anarcho-communist philosophy bent on the destruction of capitalism. The very same Richard Stallman, a man whose name is disturbingly reminiscent of Stalin, has stated several times in public that his vision includes the subjugation of all who own intellectual properties under the jackboot of the GPL. The GPL is a pernicious piece of literature lifted straight from Karl Marxs Communist Manifesto, and is fortunately banned in many democratic nations.
* * * * * UPDATE * * * * *
Myth: Open Source programming is a harlmess, healthy activity.
Fact: Open Source programming has been known to lead to massive obesity, violent tendencies with an obsession with handguns, paranoid-delusional ranting, and in severe cases, complete insanity. If anyone you know is thinking about going Open Source, stop them before its too late!
* * * * * UPDATE * * * * *
____________________
2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.
- posted by poopbot: for the crapflooder in all of us
NXd5cFFj31 Post #738
Fuckus.
I have it from a well-placed source in Dell that Lexmark is going to be making the printers that Dell is going to rebrand.
Since I buy all of my x86 servers from Dell and am familiar with their support structure, as are my desktop people, this may be an attractive alternative to HP if the printers are decent. I personally have little experience with Lexmark, tho they do have some nice looking management tools. With Dell's backing I'd be willing to give them a chance. Dell has always given me excellent support. Such as recently offering to take back the Itanium servers that were bought by a group at work and give a full refund due to Itanium being the huge dud that it was.
We recently replaced several of our HP 5si's with HP9000's, and boy are they pieces of shit! We've had nothing but problems with them. And they just feel flimsy as hell when you open them up and futz around with their guts. Guess HP's been doing too much corner-cutting. I regret that we got rid of the 5si's as they are solid printers.
THE OFFICIAL TACO-SNOTTING FAQ [slashdot.org]
:) Join me in a WIPO-snot?
By J. Wipo Troll, Esq. [slashdot.org], $Revision: 1.16 $
[This article attempts to document a vile, ungodly practice that runs rampant through the homosexual geek and hacker community, a practice known as âoeTaco-snotting,â or simply âoesnotting.â Taco-snotting is something that few geeks dare talk about in free or open conversation, but it is nonetheless a widely-practiced and dangerous form of homosexuality. If you or anyone you know has ever engaged in Taco-snotting, please get professional help [adequacy.org] before it is too late. â"ed.]
Why do I keep receiving emails from an individual calling himself âoeCmdrTacoâ?
You have been receiving unsolicited mailings from a certain Robert âoeCmdrTacoâ Malda [cmdrtaco.net], owner of the popular technology website slashdot.org [slashdot.org]. Actually, itâ(TM)s not a very âoepopularâ site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks and hackers, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies [yahoo.com], and other societal rejects and outcasts. Itâ(TM)s also home to one of the worldâ(TM)s largest suspected pædophile rings, the infamous âoeSlashdot crew.â
Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldnâ(TM)t, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyoneâ(TM)s guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, youâ(TM)re a potential candidate.
This time, he found you. Lucky you.
Mr. Malda seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
CmdrTacoâ(TM)s code language is relatively easy to decipher. This pervert prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo (yes, thatâ(TM)s right: he wants you) to evade the watchful eye of Slashdotâ(TM)s parent corporation, VA Software [yahoo.com]. Mr. Maldaâ(TM)s âoeCommanderâ is, of course, his penis: a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of Maldaâ(TM)s own lubed-up right hand. His âoeTaco bells [sonymusic.com]â are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his âoeTaco sauceâ is his thin, runny semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to âoering his Taco bellsâ or âoetaste his gourmet Taco sauce.â
I would also guess CmdrTaco asked you to engage in a practice known as âoeTaco-snottingâ and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a âoecircle-snot.â
Good Lord. And, yes, he did. What is âoeTaco-snottingâ?
âoeTaco-snottingâ is the term used by Robert Malda to refer to the depraved act of fellating another man (homo- or heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer raping unwilling victims), then blowing the semen out his nose and back onto the face and body of his victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTacoâ(TM)s face [go.com], dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, âoeTaco-snotting.â
And if thatâ(TM)s not bad enoughâ¦
A âoecircle-snotâ is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew [bastardgenres.com]. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel [aol.com], and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum â" spooging their jizz-snot all over each otherâ(TM)s faces and pasty, white bodies, until theyâ(TM)re covered head to toe with their own and each otherâ(TM)s man juice. This vile, ungodly ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limousine service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.
To complete this perverted orgy, fellow faggots Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The homosexual shenanigans that follow are nearly beyond description. The whole group begins to snot each otherâ(TM)s spunk and whip each otherâ(TM)s pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
Hopefully, but I wouldnâ(TM)t count on it.
To begin with, you most likely forgot to uncheck the âoeWilling to Snotâ checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad (do you have a homosexual-sounding nick?), and heâ(TM)s probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube, just waiting to pounce and declare you his new bitch. Thereâ(TM)s no escaping a geek in heat (trust me), so itâ(TM)s probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTacoâ(TM)s sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to âoeWilling to Snot.â Maybe heâ(TM)ll ignore you. Probably not.
I canâ(TM)t stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, hemight leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge⦠oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot all over you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).
Have you ever been Taco-snotted?
Unfortunately, yes. I first met Mr. Malda at an Open Source Convention [amazon.com]. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some âoegourmet Tacos,â but when I got there, the perverted geek jumped me and handcuffed me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his âoeCommanderâ out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times, virtually nonstop. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm⦠then he snotted my own thick, gooey jizz back onto my face out of his nostrils! He snotted me two more times, first into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.
CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, âoeOpen Sauceâ â" man sauce) buddies over to continue their ungodly snotfest. European hacker and known überfaggot Linux Torvalds raped my ass [yahoo.com] with his âoemonolithic kernel [yahoo.com];â his partner-in-crime Anal Cox used their âoenetwork stackâ in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice of my defenseless, tender, young body. Michael Sims was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my previously-virginal ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about âoeall those Censorware [spectacle.org] freaks out to get him.â
That is so disgusting! How did you finally escape?
After about 16 hours of countless unholy, homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, completely covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant â" I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door (of the apartment, not their back doors). Iâ(TM)m just glad I survived the awful ordeal. These sexually-repressed hackers had alot of built-up spunk in their wads â" I couldâ(TM)ve easily been drowned!
Thatâ(TM)s horrible. Does âoeTaco-snottingâ have anything to do with CmdrTacoâ(TM)s âoespecial tacoâ?
No, thatâ(TM)s a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. Mr. Malda is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll [slashdot.org] has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership [slashdot.org] about this vile practice (emphasis added):
You may be wondering what CmdrTacoâ(TM)s âoespecial tacoâ is. You will be wishing that you hadnâ(TM)t been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his âoespecial taco,â CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, takes out his tiny withered dick (otherwise known as his âoeCommanderâ), puts his âoespecial taco sauceâ on it which means he jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim. After all, who would knowingly eat shit and CmdrTacoâ(TM)s jizz?
After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTacoâ(TM)s nefarious homosexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victimâ(TM)s ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved. Trust me, you do not want Jon Katz anywhere near your unconscious body. Also, rumor has it CmdrTaco is looking for a new goatse.cx guy [goatse.cx]. Donâ(TM)t let it be you!
Different ungodly perversion, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that Robert âoeCmdrTacoâ Malda is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual pædophile. Heâ(TM)s also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Mr. Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesnâ(TM)t involve himself in the circle-snots, but that doesâ(TM)t mean heâ(TM)s any less of a freak than the rest of the Slashdot crew. Katz often engages in a game called âoejuicy-douching [aol.com]â with a harem of little-boy slaves that he has collected over the years: yet another vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boyâ(TM)s urine (forced out of them with a pair of pincers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then dribbling and slathering the goo all over himself and the boyâ(TM)s chained, naked bodies. If heâ(TM)s in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag from his distended anus and just squirt it from his ass [microsoft.com] onto the crying, terrified boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pincers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them at will. A boy will usually last about two years before Mr. Katz either accidentally drowns them in diarrhea or kills them once they get too old, usually around 13 or 14.
Not content with being a pædophilic coprophile, Mr. Katz is also quite the zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys arenâ(TM)t enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goatâ(TM)s anus [yahoo.com]. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goatâ(TM)s small, bean-like turds, and he often kills his older boys by letting his goats trample them.
â¦Are you getting hard writing this?
Why, yes.
No, thanks. Iâ(TM)m already CmdrTacoâ(TM)s boi toi.
________________________________________
* The URL of this document is
* Previous revisions are publicly available at
$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.16 2001/12/28 21:20:03 wipo Exp $
Copyright © 2001 J. Wipo Troll, Esq. [slashdot.org] Verbatim crapflooding of this document is permitted in any medium, provided this copyright notice is preserved, and next time you take a dump, you think of the WIPO Troll and all heâ(TM)s done to make Slashdot a better place.
- posted by poopbot: news for turds, stuff that splatters
ggCKpV21zn Post #739
Good summation, about the only thing you left out was the implicit threat to other HP customers.
"Don't think that you're so big we won't drop you like a rock."
Apparently HP thinks this is enough of a problem to react harshly now at the first signs of trouble to possibly head off bigger trouble down the road.
=tkk
Bill Gates - Creationist?!?
I have gone through one DeskJet 500 and one LaserJet 5L at home. Both printers ended up having paper feed issues and are now almost worthless (I still get to occasionally print stuff on the LJ5L. The DeskJet is in a landfill somewhere in Virginia). HP will do nothing about it.
At work, we have four or five HP laser printers. At least two of them are starting to have paper feed problems. These aren't squat little home printers like the ones I mentioned above: they're the big mamajammas costing a thou or two. Again, HP doesn't seem to want to do much of anything about it.
HP knows about their paper feed issues, by the way. Their basic response: "Sucks being you, huh?"
I'll never get another HP printer. Ever. I recommend others skipping over HPs as well. They used to make good printers, but in the past 5 or so years they've gone down the toilet.
Credits: on by
Trolling your way on the web today
Takes everything you've got;
Having a Bot to post your comments
Sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to join the frey?
Sometimes you want to go
And get a First Post in your name,
So much goatse that you came;
We know it's hard to get Eff Pee,
Our troubles are all the same;
Get that FP and everyone'll know your name.
- posted by poopbot: because we're all crapflooders at heart
aoOE5RsqhM Post #740
If you buy a printer at Dell, you're most likely going to save vs. a retail store, but you save nothing by getting a printer w/ a computer unless you buy during one of their specials (like, buy a computer and get 10% off all peripherals). Oddly enough, you pay ~1 dollar less for buying one seperately. Yet they're specials are just revolving doors so if it's not a printer you save a bit on, next week it's shipping or a CD-R upgrade etc. But they don't regularly mark down the prices on printers simply because you might be buying a PC.
-- Scientist: You aren't going to leave me here, are you? Boagh! Thump...
USian Pie
A long, long time ago I can still remember How the trollers used to make me smile And I knew if I had to boast That I could try to get first post And maybe I'd be happy for a while But moderators made me shiver With every minus they'd deliver DoS scripts couldn't stop it They scored them all "Offtopic" I know that it's cheap crack they smoke And meta-moderation's broke At first I thought it was a joke The day that trolltalk died
-- Chorus --
Bye, bye, MEEPTy, OOG, and Grits guy Drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a *sigh*
Those Steve Woston posts that we all knew were a lie Wonder what became of girls petrified? What became of girls petrified?
--
Did you write a bunch of Perl? And did it make you want to hurl Feces at the Wall? Can you believe these lame-ass polls? Do you post big stretched-out assholes? Can you make the goatse.cx link not show? Well I know you think that Siggy sucked Will the real Bruce Perens please stand up? The bots don't have a clue. Man, I dig those trolls from Shoe! I was a rabid Free Speech advocate With a Red Hat T-shirt and a Free Beer gut
Bought my Sony laptop working Pizza Hut The day that trolltalk died
-- Chorus --
It's been two years since the IPO And LNUX sinks to all-time lows But that's not how it used to be When Spiral showed how it was done Trolling as Jon Erikson Who worked for NPO Technologies Oh and while they tried to filter posts Somebody rooted Slashdot's host "Crack Slashdot? That's absurd!" Better go change your password While JonKatz wrote a Hellmouth book By using posts he simply took And we flamed him till he was cooked The day that trolltalk died And we were singin....
-- Chorus --
10 grams. Inchfan. Didn't log out. Goddamn The mods will find the sid real soon, man
You can't hide if you aren't AC Your bud (George here) tried BSD A dead Streetlawyer's tips were free And WIPO helped letsriot turn Nazi 70 made his percents up While 80md warned "liberals suck" The moon does not exist It's just a liberal myth Oh and as Taco tried to take a nap We forced him to invoke bitchslaps Do you recall the flood of crap The day that trolltalk died? We started singin....
-- Chorus --
Oh and then we were wearing out "All your base" And started posting monospace
The better for our penis birds So come on, be a zealot, be a dick You don't think Anne Marie's a chick? Because lying's all we do about HURD So go and push for BSD And say GPL isn't free Slow down, cowboy! The limit Is one post every minute Now tell the right wing facist slime Infringing on Your Rights Online That they can't censor all the time The day that trolltalk died
-- Chorus --
I met a troll they called The Rev And asked him if CD BREAK HEAD He said, "That's old. Get over it." And with all the courage I could muster "Imagine what a Beowulf cluster...." But it wasn't worth the trouble to submit The karma caps are just plain jive And everyone's moved to K5 The steelcage has grown rusted And Geekizoid is busted
The three sites I don't see for weeks Segfault, kernel, Comp-u-geek Code is not art. This ain't Freshmeat The day that trolltalk died
-- Chorus --
- posted by poopbot: for the crapflooder in all of us
648p2f4JV5 Post #741
What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:
I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.
Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'
As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.
And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!
Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:
'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'
Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?
We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.
Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.
In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.
Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.
And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.
The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.
The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously
More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.
Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!
Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.
The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!
The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.
And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.
To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'
FEEDBACK
Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.
Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!
Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.
We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.
Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!
For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.
Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.
Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'
One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'
And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?
Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.
*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.
However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)
In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.
If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???
If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!
I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.
I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.
I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.
What the fuck?
Well bugger me!
Fuck right off!
IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.
Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.
Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.
Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?
Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.
- posted by poopbot: crapflooding since 7/8/02
NyO087HeKf Post #742
So many women claimed that they should get their share, that some idiot was just picked to get that share.
Seriously, it's not a 'man's world' out there, it's a 'financial mind's world'. Male or female, it is the same concept. You stick a moron in a place of power, you get dissapointed. Go figure.
The CEO of HP is not the first time this has happened...
I am a science fantasy fan
The really bad thing (for HP stockholders) is that the sheer volume (that is growing) of Dell transactions will now have absolutely ZERO chance of helping HP. Think of the average consumer. Are they going to give up buying a complete Dell system in order to simply get their HP? (not many, and again apply the cost to recognition/feature/quality/consumer comfort equation) HP is most likely gambling that Dell will cut some deal. HP is probably hoping that Dell customers will demand HP's. However how logical is it to stomp your feet and run out of the room when you could at least make a bit. Some is better than none, and with Dell's throughput that 'some' is rather substantial.
Lets face it, unless there is some grand scheme that is being cooked up by HP, this is a very foolish and childish decision. HP is already being given the evil eye by many corporations looking for service and long term commitment. (ok, not the EVIL eye, but a very wary eye) This will not help. The idea is to make it as painless as possible for the consumer. What Dell advertises is "Choice at a cheap price with eaze of choosing" Whether they deliver on that or not is not the issue (they don't in my opinion) but HP now just complicated that and will see that Dell will now shine even more while HP looses revenue and potential growth.
_THAT_ is why I am so tired of seeing crying little babies put in as execs and decision makers. They are nothing but school yard kids, yet they hold many people's retirement funds and pensions in their stupid incompetent hands.
How unbelievably uninteresting
autopr0n is like, down and stuff.
HP doesn't really need Dell. They can do better than that. Their printers are good, and I don't doubt that they will drive Dell out of the printer market. If Dell wants to make printers, they should start training and hiring good tech support people on the first place. Last time I called, it took me about 50 minutes of being on hold to get an answer "Yeah, it seems like you have a problem...". If they can't assemble and provide good tech support for their computers, I have no idea what they're going to do with designing and manufacturing their own printers. Thanks
By telling the world that PA-RISC was going to be phased out, HP killed any chance of growth in the high-end business. No customer with any sense would believe that a transition from PA-RISC to Itanium would not be a monumental upheaval. And if a painful transition was a certainty, why not bite the bullet and go with either Sun or IBM? The decision could not have come at a worse time with the last boom for a while in business computing just about to start.
With growth flat in what should have been a boom time, HP desperately entered the lower margin consumer PC business in order to generate more cash flow, any kind of cash flow. Unfortunately HP entered the business just as it was about to crash in turn. What was supposed to at least generate some revenue now has the prospect of unending losses.
Anyone can see that the sensible approach for HP would be to save the last of the company's crown jewels, the printer business, by simply exiting the consumer and small business PC markets, both HP and Compaq brands. This would have eliminated competing head-to-head with Dell and probably avoided provoking Dell into trying to offer Dell's own brand of printers. The only problem would have been figuring out what was left for the company to do in the computing industry. Where can HP generate profit if on the high-end the product line is dependent on the Itanium processor, especially if Intel is now selling to anyone not just the processor but also the guts of entire systems? What exactly does HP own that is unique in the computing industry? Where's the beef?
Perhaps the decline was inevitable once HP ceased to be a company of engineers who got things done. The company had reached the limits of organization. To have preserved the "HP Way" the company by the 1980s would have had to have morphed into a high-tech holding company whose "business" would have been using connections to Stanford and Berkeley to finance upstarts such as Steven Wozniak.
except HP employees...
HP makes crap except for there high end Unix systems. An HP PC is nearly the worst, low end components, allowing no upgrade. HP printers USED to be decent, but they are now cheap plastic crap that breaks if you look at meanly. Lexmark printers blow away anything HP has put out in a long while, and there are several lines better than that...The ones I feel sorry for are the old compaq support folks, who now get to service and support the wonder HP desktop...arghhh that would be enough to make me go look for another job.
errr....umm...*whooosh* *whoosh* Is this thing on ?
- Dell spokesman Mike Maher said his company would still sell HP branded printers that it purchases through distributors
Just in case you didnt read the article, and believed the headline.Video meliora proboque deteriora sequor - Ovidius
If I had mod points, I'd mod you up to at least +3 informative. I congratulate you on a job well done. Never stop reaching for that rainbow.
g to the oatse
c to the izzex
fo shizzle my nizzle look for another lyrics quiz tomorrow
Home users and small businesses like to buy computer systems that include a printer. HP's printer are known for high quality and ubiquitous support. They are a strong incentive for the actual system purchase. If people are trying to chose between a Dell or a Compaq/HP system, the printer could very possibly tilt the balance in favor the Compaq/HP solution. This is a very SMART business move by HP, not, as some knee jerk reactionaries chide, an emotional or bad business move.
Did Dell tell HP they were going to make printers? If so, why? If not, I wonder who spilled the beans and what their bonus will be this year.
make Linux drivers available? Dell is in real tight with Gates.
Seen the new HP DeskJet 5550 ($150 list price) series of printers, they are so cheap... yet their Color Cartridges are 3/4 of the size of previous HP Cartridges, and not compatible with previous models.
From HP's DeskJet 5550 page's add an optional automatic two-sided printing accessory and save up to 50 percent on paper costs and office file space, but you don't save your cartridge. Each additional Black/White cartridge is $20 and the Tri-Colors ones are $35.
HP makes it's money of cartridges rather than of their printers...
But that's not true. Cannon makes MOST of the engines. The 5L was HP's first (pathetic)attempt at makeing their own engine. They are still doing so on some lower model (definitely throw-away consumer) laser printers.
I remember this one well, because I was unfortunate enough to be working in a repair facility that was HP authorized at the time the 5L came out. Complete crap....nothing but paper path problems and formatter's blowing chunks les that a week out of the box.
Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.
HP never did sell that many printers through Dell anyway.
So HP capitalizes on this and will hurt Dell in the short-term but not supplying Dell with HP's while Dell waits for its own brand to be ready.
This really is just capitalism at work. Like their printers or not, offering HP's line helps Dell sell more boxes and helped HP. Now Dell is in direct competition with HP, would you want to help out your comptetitor? Hell, no.
Dell and the other MS pushing shops need to add value wherever they can to the products that they sell yet don't have any control over. If I'm looking for a new Windoze box with an HP printer and I can get it from company X or company Y but X only offers X's own printer, I'll just go to Y and get my bundled printer. And I generalize with company X and Y b/c that's really all Dell, Compaq, and Gateway, etc, are in the PC business.
While Dell's lame commercials may have driven business from all the moron's who somehow think a Dell is better than a Gateway or any other brand, what it really comes down to is: "Dude, you got a Windoze box." Period.
we laughed while reading that post. That's why it should be rated as Funny.
.sigs are useless; it doesn't protect you from imposters.
You know, I do have to admit, Oki has been putting out some really respectable printers for ages now - and yet they never seem to make the list when people talk about their "favorite printer brands".
Maybe they just never did the advertising push of the other brands? I dunno.... But I remember them having one of the really early personal laser printers on the market, back when I paid nearly $1000 for a Panasonic KXP-4410 laser. The Oki was cheaper, but I bet on Panasonic having the superior product. Seems I probably bet wrong - as the thing had constant paper jam issues, really slow printing, and a tendency to have their fusers die unexpectedly.
They were always selling dot-matrix printers in the consumer computer mags, long before that.
Many Oki 24-pin dot-matrix printers get use and abuse every day in manufacturing shop-floor and retail environments, and they work like a charm.
I guess they never really got into the inkjet market though... As I finish this message, I think maybe that's the biggest reason they remain a relatively obscure brand today.
Printers for 99% of all applications are made by HP. Unless Dell printers are rebranded Canons there is no earthly reason to buy them. Where will you get supplies, how long will they honor warranties? Printers are mechanical devices and they break and wear out.
Who's gonna march into their own personal Viet Nam for driver development and support? Even Lexmark can't get this right and that's all they do.
HP printers Dell Printers All are made in Taiwan!! In the end, Do not we always get the same printer with the same colours and the same time bomb inside it that tells it to explode after the warranty!!
Umm, I read that as Dell being the customer and having a harder time obtaining printers. Really you and I are Dell's customers. Dell is HP's customer (or was).
www.clarke.ca
From lots of personal experience with various laser and inkjet printers, I will buy HP over any other brand. Sure the quality has gone down since 97 when HP started making entry level laser printers. But lets get real here. If you expecting flawless heavy duty printing (like couple reams of paper a day), get a high end laser printer. Having dealt with epson, canon and HP inkjets, the older HP color inkjets are rock solid. I have a 820cse from 1995 that has never given me any problems, even though I've abused it and fed 75lb paper through it. I have friends who have nightmare stories about lexmark printers back in 95-97. I hope for dell's sake Lexmark has improved it's quality. The only lexmark laser printer I've worked with sucked.
There are plenty of other printer companies to make up for that: Lexmark, Epson, other Japanese ones, ...
I agree with what you said.
The big problem is that if you buy a Dell printer where are you going to get replacement consumables? You can complain about the high price of Canon, Epson, HP and Lexmark ink cartridges but at least you can get them from multiple sources. This may not be true for Dell's new line of printers.
(Steve, the Dell guy) "Duuuude, you're getting a Dell! But you're _not_ getting an HP printer........"
(Nelson steps in for a cameo) "Ha ha!"
The next step, I suppose, is that Dell printers will only work with Dell ink cartridges, and a DRM crypto scheme will enforce this.
The engines are all the same. The drivers are th only difference. HP used to rock. Now they suck. Plus the ink is WAAAAY too expensive. Screw em. Buy a Lexmark or an Epson.
Cactus?
Especially how good the extended warrantys are, Circuit City give you like $2 for selling the monitor but on the CSP you get like $25. You can't just sell the computer, you have to sell the extended stuff...if you want to keep your job. Of course strictnein knows that. And as far as quitting your job goes...do it, I'd find a new job first, but do it. Even if you have to take a small pay cut it is worth it, unless you think you can become a store manager(who doesn't make all that much for the amount of work most of them do) quit ASAP. If you have to take a pay cut its ok cuz you have a 9/10 chance the abiltiy to increase your pay will be much higher, CC there is little to no chance of really increasing your pay.
LinuxWorx
Spelling errors are intentional as are gramatical error
I guess I'll have to start citing sources for my info.
mod parent up!
That's what most slashdotters are missing. Dell's not going to "make" printers - they're just going to rebrand someone elses printers, prolly Lexmarks.
Dell doesn't make their own laptops, they don't even design them. The laptops are designed and manufactured for Dell for a Taiwanese company. Dell just adds distribution, marketing, and support. For that matter, from what I hear, HP buys the print heads for all of its ink-jets from Cannon - even HP doesn't make its own printers.
It's easier to think of this situation as Kmart refusing to sell Kmart branded oven-mitts to Target. What does Target care? They'll just buy the oven-mitts direct from the manufacturer and attach their own name to them.
Oh, and BTW, does anyone have any question about the outcome in a battle of HP vs Dell?
Got to agree with most of your post, especially the part about the sexes not working together.
Cactus?
(mmph, snerk) Bwaaahahahahaaha.
Considering their solution for *any* problem seems to be a factory restore. Printer won't work: restore.
Software option can't be found: restore. Computer is on fire: Restore. Oye.
If Dell's printers turn out to be as good as their current support, this outta be fun. (Lexmarks? Oh, god help the poor souls)
Here's why:
Dell is currently going thru a major re-orginization, according to some of the major reps for my area.
I ordered some parts that would take *max* 30 days (normal/working, I don't recall)... Try 2 Months.
Dell is getting more propritary than Apple it seems: PowerSupplies, motherboards, ram (except Rambus, IIRC) CPU's with non-standard heatsyncs (nice design, though) and a few other things I'm forgetting. (on arstechnica they blamed crucial for having substandard ram. ROTFLMAO, like saying HP does not know how to make a good laser printer).
I was getting so fed up I asked a friend how he dealt with the crap service with Dell...the answer?
"Oh, we now buy Gateway's for desktops and Compaqs for servers, now".
Yep, that'll do it.
Simply put, Dell is pissing off a lot of people (except for select few in the Federal Gov't from some I've talked to...gee, wonder why?) inside and outside their own walls.
And rebranding printers?
Heh, what do you want to bet that they will be rewired SCSI cables that go from DB25 to centronics50 and cost 75 bucks a piece and can only be bought from Dell?
(I also wonder how long before they do the same to Microsoft and make their own OS...heh: DeOS...out to be a real winner)
Have you read the moderator guidelines? Well, have you, PUNK? (and I want a Karma: Gnarly option)
Highest-moderated goatse.cx link I've ever seen.
I'm not sure if everyone realizes how much this sucks. I buy HP printers through Dell for 4 all technology high schools. It's a lot of high output B&W lasers and expensive color laser printers. I could always get a great deal on the printers through our Premier account with Dell, but the education prices through HP were garbage. Now I'm going to have to pay a lot more to get HP printers. Those Xerox printers are looking even better. Especially the free B&W toner on the color laser printers for life. Not bad
Tim Smith - Ramblings from Nerd Land