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Adult Content Revenue To Pay For UK 3G Licenses

Makarand writes "According to this article in The Guardian mobile phone companies in the UK are turning to soft porn in a bid to recoup the billions they have splashed out on third generation licences. If the industry can persuade regulators that they can come up with a fool-proof way of registering phones that are owned by those who are 18 and above it will clear the way for a major new revenue stream using adult content. Dedicated teams at companies using 3G licenses are already looking into making money from adult content."

232 comments

  1. Think of the ring tones... by Kombat · · Score: 5, Funny

    *Insert MIDI of swanky-sounding porno synth music here*

    --
    Like woodworking? Build your own picture frames.
    1. Re:Think of the ring tones... by ContemporaryInsanity · · Score: 1

      I hear Hicks!

    2. Re:Think of the ring tones... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And I read hicks!

    3. Re:Think of the ring tones... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      dada da dah! (stab)! Dah da daaaaa... da.daaa... daa dada da dah! (stab)! (cue german narrator with Bollywood style echo and far too much enthusiasm) "Mans' Best!!!"

  2. I already see a problem by Dark+Paladin · · Score: 5, Funny

    So with one hand I hold my phone, and the other I, er, um, "use" the porn - then what hand do I use to drive the car with?

    1. Re:I already see a problem by Kenja · · Score: 3, Funny

      This is why they have hands free phone systems.

      --

      "Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
    2. Re:I already see a problem by Styx · · Score: 2

      Interesting ... hands-free, hands-on phone-pr0n.

      --
      /Styx
    3. Re:I already see a problem by Kenja · · Score: 3, Funny

      Of course this is all just a small cell phone with vibrate mode. Nothing new.

      --

      "Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
    4. Re:I already see a problem by chrysrobyn · · Score: 5, Funny

      So with one hand I hold my phone, and the other I, er, um, "use" the porn - then what hand do I use to drive the car with?

      Did I pass you on the way to work this morning?

    5. Re:I already see a problem by Anonvmous+Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      "So with one hand I hold my phone, and the other I, er, um, "use" the porn - then what hand do I use to drive the car with?"

      You sound like a prime candidate for a hands-free kit.

    6. Re:I already see a problem by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      My gf slapped me when I called her a hands free kit....

    7. Re:I already see a problem by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Gay Friends dont slap, they kick

    8. Re:I already see a problem by Anonvmous+Coward · · Score: 2

      "So with one hand I hold my phone, and the other I, er, um, "use" the porn - then what hand do I use to drive the car with?"

      Well, place yourself up against the steering wheel properly and you could use it like a Joystick. Just don't rear-end anybody.

    9. Re:I already see a problem by malarkey · · Score: 1
      So with one hand I hold my phone, and the other I, er, um, "use" the porn - then what hand do I use to drive the car with?

      But you can't drive if you need a hand to accelerate and brake

    10. Re:I already see a problem by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Which hands-free kit are you refering to? The upper one or the lower one?

  3. Right... by maxmg · · Score: 3, Insightful

    And I want to be looking at porn on a black and white 80x80 pixel screen why?

    --
    I asked for a refund - and got my monkey back.
    1. Re:Right... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Informative

      RTFA... It's for new phones with high res color displays.

    2. Re:Right... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      nah, the new ones are colour ;) 16 colours though. EGA. nice.

    3. Re:Right... by Ananamas+Coughrad · · Score: 2, Funny

      EGA? Word. I can't wait to revisit the world of 2600 baud porn. Rusty & Eddie, gifs instead of jpegs...this should be sweet.

      Oh yeah, in case you get the wrong idea, Rusty & Eddie were male porn actors.

    4. Re:Right... by I+Am+The+Owl · · Score: 4, Funny

      Um, really? Which wrong idea did you think we were getting, then?

      --

      --sdem
    5. Re:Right... by alonsoac · · Score: 1

      1) because it's there and you need it right now, That's like saying why would I want to use a cell phone when the service quality is lower and the charge is higher?
      2) Ascii porn, please someone post the link
      3) well, phone sex I guess
      4) you will get so much sms spam about it you may get to it even without knowing
      5) why not?

    6. Re:Right... by maxmg · · Score: 1

      Didn't have time to RTFA - I was trying for FP...

      But to reiterate, I want to be looking at colour porn on a high-res display - which is REALLY REALLY SMALL - why?

      --
      I asked for a refund - and got my monkey back.
  4. As if there wasn't already enough porn by elbowdonkey · · Score: 2, Funny

    now the very existance of 3G is supported by thumbnails of the nude.

  5. Pay for porn? by Styx · · Score: 2, Funny

    Naaah, that'll never catch on ...

    --
    /Styx
    1. Re:Pay for porn? by Ananamas+Coughrad · · Score: 1

      It hasn't! Paying for warez hasn't caught on yet either.

    2. Re:Pay for porn? by computechnica · · Score: 0

      (shameless plug) Why pay. just use WWW.AUTOPR0N.com!! (/shameless plug)

  6. Good use for the "Hands Free" devices! by bwalling · · Score: 1, Redundant

    Well, if you have a Hands Free (headset) device, you have a free hand for whatever else you might need it for. Forward thinking!

    1. Re:Good use for the "Hands Free" devices! by bwalling · · Score: 1

      Perhaps $9.99/month for video, $2.99/minute for an "operator"?

    2. Re:Good use for the "Hands Free" devices! by Scud_the_disposable_ · · Score: 1

      how are you gonna look @ pr0n with your ear???

  7. SMS Porn Spam by Arc04 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I hope this does not mean that I will get sent SMS texts offering to "increase my penis size" like the kind that litter my email inbox now.

    The phrase "is that a phone in you pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?" will never be the same. ;)

    Arc

    1. Re:SMS Porn Spam by Goth+Biker+Babe · · Score: 1

      Hey I regularly get "Increase my penis size" and "Breast enlargement" spam within a short time of one another. May be they're just hedging their bets. Having said that I know of some people who would probably be interested in both.

  8. 3G must have arrived then..... by QuantumRiff · · Score: 5, Insightful
    The mark of arrival for any new technology is the ability to recieve porn on it.. And to think that conservatives like to scoff at the idea that porn drives technology..

    I won't buy a computerized car until i can get Jenna Jameson on my dash at 80Mph, it will be the sign that it has been endorsed and works properly.

    --

    What are we going to do tonight Brain?
    1. Re:3G must have arrived then..... by Ananamas+Coughrad · · Score: 1

      By that logic, radio has yet to arrive as a technology.

      And you can get Jenna Jameson on your dash at 80Mph. She's a porn actress. Pay her to make a movie and she'll do porn all over your car.

    2. Re:3G must have arrived then..... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Well, I bet by the time you will buy a computarized car you won't want to see Jenna Jameson on my dash at 80Mph...old ladies cannot take over 60Mph! :)

    3. Re:3G must have arrived then..... by ipjohnson · · Score: 1

      P0rn doesn't only consist of pictures think about all the great stories that can be told with sexy female voices (a.k.a. 40 year old housewife making an extra buck) over the radio.

      Radio in some respects is better for some stuff because you don't ahve t have a great body to go with the sexy voice.

    4. Re:3G must have arrived then..... by Kragg · · Score: 1

      ...until i can get Jenna Jameson on my dash...

      Never heard it called that before.

      --
      If you can't see this, click here to enable sigs.
    5. Re:3G must have arrived then..... by Kjella · · Score: 2

      I won't buy a computerized car until i can get Jenna Jameson on my dash at 80Mph

      Could you please let me know, so I can be in a *different* country? I've seen everything from people doing 2 cell phones (one pressed against shoulder), grooming, make-up, reading the newspaper and all, but really. If you can get it in the back seat while standing still, fine. If you want to do 80 and watch porn, find a gun. Faster and less hazardous to other.

      Kjella

      --
      Live today, because you never know what tomorrow brings
    6. Re:3G must have arrived then..... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The point of the parent post was that there *aren't* any such porn radio programs that you can subscribe to (or at least none to my knowledge, although some radio call-in shows I've heard certainly 'come' close).

    7. Re:3G must have arrived then..... by ipjohnson · · Score: 1

      I'd be suprised if you could name any subscription based FM radio shows .... I thought radio was a broadcast medium and could be picked up by ANYONE with a FM tuner.

      The point I was trying to make was that not all adult entertainment has to be visual it could just as well be audible there by making it possible to provided over the radio.

    8. Re:3G must have arrived then..... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You mean this one?

    9. Re:3G must have arrived then..... by GMontag451 · · Score: 1

      You've been able to get porn over packet radio for years.

    10. Re:3G must have arrived then..... by Spunk · · Score: 2

      I won't buy a computerized car until i can get Jenna Jameson on my dash at 80Mph

      [foghorn leghorn]
      Look here, boy, you're doing it all wrong. I say it's the back seat you should be interested in, not the dash.
      [/foghorn leghorn]

  9. This gives... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ...new meaning to the term "Phone Sex".

  10. First Porn! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Oh, wait...

  11. 3G? by User+956 · · Score: 5, Funny

    3G? I'm mostly used to 36DD.

    --
    The theory of relativity doesn't work right in Arkansas.
    1. Re:3G? by Ananamas+Coughrad · · Score: 5, Funny

      3G is Tinkerbell's bra size after she has a breast implant.

    2. Re:3G? by Trolling4Dollars · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      Mod this up! It's VERY funny! 7.8.9.10.11.12.13.14.15.16.17.18.19.20.POST!!!

    3. Re:3G? by henni16 · · Score: 1

      Oh, so maybe one of the "G"s in "3G" is really that G?

    4. Re:3G? by alexburke · · Score: 2

      I very nearly sprayed Coca-Cola all over my VX900, which would have been a hell of a mess to clean up.

      Mod parent up. This is the funniest one-liner I've heard in a long, long time.

      Good work. :)

    5. Re:3G? by hoggoth · · Score: 2

      > I very nearly sprayed Coca-Cola all over my VX900, which would have been a hell of a mess to clean up

      I have the feeling there will be much worse messes to clean up in the near future...

      --
      - For the complete works of Shakespeare: cat /dev/random (may take some time)
  12. The world would be a much better place... by hebble · · Score: 3, Insightful

    ... if only we could all learn to masturbate to our imaginations.

    1. Re:The world would be a much better place... by Anonvmous+Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      "... if only we could all learn to masturbate to our imaginations."

      We can, but our imaginations can't keep up with demand.

    2. Re:The world would be a much better place... by EvilNTUser · · Score: 1

      "\"... if only we could all learn to masturbate to our imaginations.\"

      We can, but our imaginations can't keep up with demand."

      What are you guys talking about? I know you're joking, but seriously... I find my imagination a lot better than any type of porn. Sure, it's good for actuating the initial required release of hormones, but after that, closing my eyes is always much more satisfying.

      Disclaimer: If you are my mother, any other type of relative, or a potential future employer, you are hereby prohibited from viewing this post. Violations will be prosecuted under the DMCA.

      --
      My Sig: SEGV
  13. soft porn? by adamruck · · Score: 1

    who the hell would pay money for soft porn?

    --
    Selling software wont make you money, selling a service will.
    1. Re:soft porn? by schmink182 · · Score: 1
      who the hell would pay money for soft porn?

      A thirteen year old boy playing with his mom's phone.

  14. Be real careful... by seanscottrogers · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...about hitting that speakerphone key

  15. Hah! by Jonny+Ringo · · Score: 3, Funny

    Next time a cell phone distracts you in a theater you might not have a problem with it!

    Specialy if your force to watch "Maid in New York" or something by you girlfriend|wife.

    1. Re:Hah! by cuyler · · Score: 2

      Next time a cell phone distracts you in a theater you might not have a problem with it!

      Specialy if your force to watch "Maid in New York" or something by you girlfriend|wife.


      I would think that ones girlfriend/wife may have a problem with you sitting beside them in the theatre watching porn instead of "Maid in Manhatten".

  16. No Need to Reinvent the Wheel by serutan · · Score: 5, Funny

    They could just use the same age verification function used for 900 numbers:

    if (hasCreditCard)
    {
    ConnectHottie();
    }

    1. Re:No Need to Reinvent the Wheel by adamruck · · Score: 1

      ive got a credit card, and I am under 18. I got it so when I travel I dont have to carry cash.

      if ((hasCreditCard) && (notCoSignedbyParents))
      {
      ConnectHottie();
      }

      --
      Selling software wont make you money, selling a service will.
    2. Re:No Need to Reinvent the Wheel by sweetooth · · Score: 2

      His whole point was that a valid credit card is not valid age verification even though that's what the pr0n companies use it for.

    3. Re:No Need to Reinvent the Wheel by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      (Has credit card) does not always mean (over 18). It never has and, the way things are going, it never will. Every major credit card has come up with ways for parents to give limited access cards to their kids. Heck, some parents even give kids their own cards.

  17. I tell you it's hardcore porn... by bahwi · · Score: 5, Funny

    I tell you it's hardcore porn that's going to land the first men on Mars, establish contact with another species, and renew the democratic system.

    Soft porn can only do so much, but it's hardcore that will take us into the next century!

    1. Re:I tell you it's hardcore porn... by I'm+a+racist. · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Hardcore porn is already available on cell phones. I've done some work on this (not the porn, sadly, just the phones/infrastructure). In Germany and Italy, they're obsessed with this (especially Germany).

      I had executives, during meetings, leaning over to show me two skanks sharing a double-ended dildo (it was an animated gif). It was really quite impressive, considering there's still a small market and the phones were only available to a few people at the time.

      Of course, your definition of hardcore might vary. I'd consider softcore to be "just nudity" (some touching would be in this category), and hardcore is everything else. Scat is hardcore. A lezbo scene, with no penetration, is softcore. It's a fine line that separates the two. The quality of the displays on some of these phones is really good (even though it's relatively small).

      Now, I love porn more than the next guy, but I can't see much use for this besides the "wow factor". It's still kinda cool anyway...

      --


      Down with Saudi Arabia!!!
    2. Re:I tell you it's hardcore porn... by buswolley · · Score: 3, Funny

      The only way to go to mars is to attack it. Propaganda to the effect of the threat of the red invasions is at hand

      --

      A Good Troll is better than a Bad Human.

    3. Re:I tell you it's hardcore porn... by Fastball · · Score: 2

      Dude, we Americans haven't gotten around to invading Iceland yet. Mars is gonna have to wait. Skoal!

    4. Re:I tell you it's hardcore porn... by buswolley · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Mars is our destiny. We must go there, and soon.

      --

      A Good Troll is better than a Bad Human.

    5. Re:I tell you it's hardcore porn... by blibbleblobble · · Score: 1

      "attack of the red planet"

      Damn commies! Who gave them linux anyway?

    6. Re:I tell you it's hardcore porn... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm very impressed that you can use a keyboard to communicate with the higher primates. Mind you, the lack of opposable digits is not such a problem with a keyboard, however the complete absence of any fucking intelligence whatsoever must be difficult....

    7. Re:I tell you it's hardcore porn... by buswolley · · Score: 2

      Mars would renew the democratic system into fresh health. We must go there. Too many eggs in one basket right now, anyway

      --

      A Good Troll is better than a Bad Human.

    8. Re:I tell you it's hardcore porn... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This is Insightful?

      What's with that website in your sig anyways?

      Mars may be YOUR destiny. Go ahead, have fun.

      I'm staying riight here..

    9. Re:I tell you it's hardcore porn... by rk · · Score: 1

      What's so hardcore about jazz singers imitating musical instruments with their voices?

      Oh, wait, never mind.

    10. Re:I tell you it's hardcore porn... by buswolley · · Score: 2
      Rousseau once said that "Man is born free, but everywhere he is in chains." Mars is the opportunity to break these chains, and regain what freedom we may.

      Mars is our destiny. That is, outward. The possibilities for new expressions of freedom and humanity, and economic systems, lie in building new civilizations. On earth there is a gigantic infrastructure of economic powers that RESIST change. The best ideas are not readily implemented, or are practically immpossible to implement.

      America became, in some sense, what it was BECAUSE we had a frontier early in its career.. That frontier, and the spirit it developed among its settlers gave America its sense of independance, innovation and a GREAT sense of self empowerment.

      To the point, a paucity of western infrastructure westward of this expanding America better empowered the formation of a culture radically different than its predecessors. Not wholly, of course, as old money still existed.

      But now, America has few or no frontiers within its borders. America's infrastructure has become stiff in every corner. We at Slashdot know this. Microsoft's infrastucture is outstanding. Oil industries pull our strings. We cannot fundamentally change what America is, how it conducts its economics, without a fight. The root is dug in and will not give up its space as long as it lives.

      Mars has no infrastructure and therefore new social, economic, and political ideas implemented by colonists there are more apt to emerge into their natural designs undistorted by the effects of competing institutions.

      Like the original colonists of America, cultural artifacts, physical and ideational, brought over to the frontier will be freely reinterpreted without undue outside influence. However, the opportunity of social self-determination on Mars is unparalleled by any in history, for none has had at its disposal the vast library of knowlege and technology available today. The coupling of knowledge and self-reliance will allow the best ideas to flourish. The culture of the second and third Martian generations has the potential of being truer to the ideals of social justice, equality, and :) free software. :) than has ever existed before.

      martianfrontier.com is an undeveloped site.

      --

      A Good Troll is better than a Bad Human.

    11. Re:I tell you it's hardcore porn... by Puu · · Score: 1

      But do they have oil??!

      And you'd have to establish at least some connection to Osama Bin Laden before you can explain the invasion to the taxpayers.

      Come to think of it, it would be the perfect hiding place for him. Maybe this is why the al-Qaida footage forwarded by the al-Jazeera news agency comes at such long intervals and poor video quality.

      (While I did get a laugh out of the parent post's reference to the "red" planet.)

    12. Re:I tell you it's hardcore porn... by Saeger · · Score: 2
      You planetary chauvinists are all the same. :)

      Why trade one gravity well for another?

      It might be less romantic, but it's much more economical to build space habitats with artificial gravity (Babylon5/O'Neill-ish). Here, you don't have a gravity well to fight, there's constant sunlight, and there's no wasted mass beneath your feet which could be put better use.

      Bio-Human colonization of outer space isn't even our ultimate destiny - "inner space" is. I hope I haven't shocked you with science "fiction" you're not ready to seriously contemplate. :-)

      --

      --
      Power to the Peaceful
    13. Re:I tell you it's hardcore porn... by buswolley · · Score: 2
      Mars of course is just one of a near infinite number of possible locations. There are some reasons though why Mars would be a good first step. Resources: A planet has many resources. Science:There is much about MArs that we do not know. terraforming:it IS possible to terraform the planet, creating a biosphere, warm weather and air to breathe. There are more but I am tired.

      I've always preferred the outer expansion than inward. Personal opinion...

      Gravity well:Space elevators would take care of that, and fairly well. Just do a google on that one.. Im too tired to link it.

      --

      A Good Troll is better than a Bad Human.

    14. Re:I tell you it's hardcore porn... by buswolley · · Score: 2

      besides destiny doesnt mean that there isnt a destiny afterwards.. Mars... then innerspace.. I think, as I explained above that a healthy Mars culture would serve as an example for earth. Earth needs a teacher. the way its going,, its not going to last.

      --

      A Good Troll is better than a Bad Human.

    15. Re:I tell you it's hardcore porn... by Ella+the+Cat · · Score: 1

      The thing about expanding to new frontiers is that more or less unlimited natural resources determine cultural attitudes to consumption that aren't appropriate in a resource constrained situation. It's OK for those who make it to the new world, but there are many who don't. The 21st century could pay a high price for the 19th's free lunch the way things are going.

    16. Re:I tell you it's hardcore porn... by buswolley · · Score: 2

      they may serve as an example to mankind on earth. Also I think that expansion into space will spur innovation, which in turn spurs new products and services.

      --

      A Good Troll is better than a Bad Human.

    17. Re:I tell you it's hardcore porn... by Madcapjack · · Score: 1
      Developing "inner space" is good and all, and ultimately it may be the best solution, but assuming that it is possible at all, we do not yet have the technology to do it, and given the circumstances it seems that it is better to try to do what we know can be done now (if only will, effort, and dollars were there) than to wait for a transhumanist future. We all have been notoriously bad at predicting the future. (where are my anti-grav boots!?). And there is no reason that transhumanist ambitions cannot be incorporated into a mars colonization project. In fact, I presumed they would be.

      madcapjack

  18. I like pr0n as much as the next guy... by SuperHighImpact · · Score: 2, Informative

    but do I really want/need the ability to access gigabytes of it no matter where I travel? What happened to the power of imagination. When I take a trip longer than three nights, I'll throw a pr0n0 mag in my suitcase. For shorter trips I just visualize while spanking the monkey.

    --
    sHi
    1. Re:I like pr0n as much as the next guy... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny
      I like pr0n as much as the next guy...

      Nope. I'm the next guy, and I like it more.

      :P

    2. Re:I like pr0n as much as the next guy... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Gee. Thanks for sharing.

    3. Re:I like pr0n as much as the next guy... by GunFodder · · Score: 2

      In a related news story the pay-per-view industry has already starting campaigning against wireless pRon access, claiming it is "immoral". Seems they don't like the competition...

    4. Re:I like pr0n as much as the next guy... by DarkZero · · Score: 5, Funny

      I like pr0n as much as the next guy, but do I really want/need the ability to access gigabytes of it no matter where I travel?

      Yes.

    5. Re:I like pr0n as much as the next guy... by Eccles · · Score: 1

      but do I really want/need the ability to access gigabytes of it no matter where I travel?

      Yes. Why do you think the execs all want notebook PCs with big hard drives?

      Now why you would bother with a teeny phone display, I don't know. Seems like you would generally want your porn in a situation where you're in private and can use a larger display.

      --
      Ooh, a sarcasm detector. Oh, that's a real useful invention.
    6. Re:I like pr0n as much as the next guy... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      does anyone really need that much porn?
      mmmmm...porn.

  19. Why check for 18 and older by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Why bother checking if the user is 18 or older?

    Kids shouldn't be using mobile phones.

    "When I was your age, the only phone we could use was 2 tin cans and a string between them!"

  20. Immoral by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    How much do you want to bet that this shows up in America before long? *shakes head* Unbelievable. How unfortunate it is that today, everything seems to be about what "looks good" and what "feels good" instead of what's RIGHT. Oh, how quickly we forget the man who died on the cross in order to preserve the American way of life. If He were alive today, do you think he would make the same sacrifice again, given how rapidly our culture has fallen into the sewer?

    1. Re:Immoral by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Umm... if you are talking about Jesus... He didn't die to preserve the "American way." He died to forgive your sins...

      Wow.. Americans are getting full of themselves.

    2. Re:Immoral by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Stupid fundie, go cry me a river.

    3. Re:Immoral by orthogonal · · Score: 2



      I know I should feed the trolls, but...

      Man who died on the cross... to preserve the American way of life?

      Would that be Medgar Evers (no, wait, he was shot) or Matthew Shepard (he was tied to a fence post, if I recall correctly).

    4. Re:Immoral by buswolley · · Score: 1

      if you are trying to take a stand on something, why do you do it anonymously?

      --

      A Good Troll is better than a Bad Human.

  21. thank God ... by Alien54 · · Score: 3, Funny
    mobile phone companies in the UK are turning to soft porn in a bid to recoup the billions they have splashed out on third generation licences

    Thank God they haven't turned to spam yet.

    wait a second ... oh, never mind

    --
    "It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
  22. pr0n.. by grub · · Score: 2, Insightful


    Pr0n... is there anything it can't do?

    --
    Trolling is a art,
    1. Re:pr0n.. by Ananamas+Coughrad · · Score: 1

      Yeah, get mod points for a simpsons quote.

    2. Re:pr0n.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0


      Yeah, get mod points for a simpsons quote.

      I assume you mean karma points. Doesn't matter, my karma is Excellent but I haven't been able to mod for a while. Presumably I've done something bad on ol' /.

    3. Re:pr0n.. by Anonvmous+Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      "Pr0n... is there anything it can't do?"

      Get you laid?

    4. Re:pr0n.. by Ruis · · Score: 1

      ....unless you are a pr0n star.

    5. Re:pr0n.. by TheGreatGraySkwid · · Score: 1

      Never saw American Pie, did you?

      --
      The Humblest Mollusk on the Net
  23. The commercials... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Can you hear me now? You can, okay, what are you wearing?

  24. How much porn is enough? by stratjakt · · Score: 5, Funny

    I got PPV porn channels available on my TV

    Phone sex hotlines

    Magazines in every 7-11/gas station/mens rooms.

    Adult video stores *everywhere* (around here there's a ton just called 'discount video outlets', with a handful of old regular VHS tapes and enormous 'adult' rooms)

    The internet

    Now 3G wireless phones

    How long until MS's new watches have porn being broadcast straight to your wrist?

    Can the porn market ever reach full saturation? Has anyone ever said "y'know what? I think I have enough porn already"?

    --
    I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
    1. Re:How much porn is enough? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Someday when I have six women constantly farting and pissing on my head, all day long, while I try to sleep, eat, and go to work, I will say I think I have enough porn.

    2. Re:How much porn is enough? by RatBastard · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Over-exposure (sorry) to porn causes burnout. Pretty soon the naked ladies/men aren't enough. You move onto "normal" hardcore (normal for your gender and sexual preference). Then that no longer gets Mr./Ms. Happy to pay attention and you move off into the borderline stuff. Then that no longer trips your trigger and you move further into teh realm of the odd and forbiddon. Soon you're furiously masturbating to Smurph porn and liking it.

      Nothing says a market doesn't exist like it having to rely on porn to make it profitable.

      Maybe the Amish are right...

      --
      Boobies never hurt anyone. - Sherry Glaser.
    3. Re:How much porn is enough? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Has anyone ever said "y'know what? I think I have enough porn already"?

      No

    4. Re:How much porn is enough? by feagle814 · · Score: 1

      Next up, some sort of compensation device for the wristwatch that compensates for rapid up-and-down movement, so it won't look blurry...

    5. Re:How much porn is enough? by Dinny · · Score: 1

      The problem is that there really isn't a way for society to figure out how much porn is to much until it's no longer taboo.

      If it wasn't taboo it would be easy to figure out. For example. I think society has figured out how much NASCAR is to much, and it keeps it at the level it's comfortable with.

      Dinny

    6. Re:How much porn is enough? by radish · · Score: 2

      *cough*

      I'm sorry - did you just say too much porn?

      Oh ok, didn't think you did. Just checking.

      --

      ---- Den ene knappen er powerknapp, den andre er Bender voice knapp "Bite My Shiny Metal Ass"

    7. Re:How much porn is enough? by fatgraham · · Score: 1

      "How long until MS's new watches have porn being broadcast straight to your wrist?"

      It wouldnt work, you'd never get a still image

    8. Re:How much porn is enough? by jez9999 · · Score: 2

      I think you're forgetting the rabid right-wingers who want Congress to introduce new laws requiring people to look forward or up so their gaze doesn't accidently slip downwards to their... you know.

    9. Re:How much porn is enough? by frozenray · · Score: 1

      > How long until MS's new watches have porn being broadcast straight to your wrist?

      Believe it or not, Microsoft apparently looked into entering the pr0n business in the 90s (it's quite a profitable business after all). Quoting from an article by Andrew Schulman, DDJ, October 1994:

      The best bet is to find areas where Microsoft doesn't have a product, and where there is a chance of a several-year window of opportunity before it does have a product. On the other hand, the only market I've ever heard of that Microsoft didn't want to get into was pornographic screen savers and related multimedia titles. As one company employee told me, "We looked carefully at adult software, and decided to leave that money on the table".

      My theory is that they couldn't agree on a suitable slogan to sell this stuff. "Microsoft - how do you want to jack off today?" somehow doesn't sound quite right.

      --
      "There are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare." - Blair Houghton
    10. Re:How much porn is enough? by taustin · · Score: 1

      How long until MS's new watches have porn being broadcast straight to your wrist?

      Anybody else remember self-winding watches?

    11. Re:How much porn is enough? by binarybum · · Score: 1

      Huh? do you live in the states or some country where Nascar is regulated?

      Have you ever visited a southern town or any place with a population under 10,000?

      The only thing you'll see in greater abudance than plastic American flags and fat people are Nascar stickers.

      I for one am NOT comfortable with this.

      btw: softcore porn is hardly taboo in the states. Have you been to a major bookstore recently (you know the kind that serves rancid coffee and hides classic literature and paperbacks in general in some dusty forgotten alcove)? Softcore porn literature sells like hotcakes... and ya know who buys it? Women... lots and lots of them. These are the mothers or future mothers of our society and also the ones that have traditionally instilled our gross national sense of morality.
      Softcore porn has proliferated in television and is truly a staple in movies (name the last three to five good movies you've seen... if less than half of them lacked explicit nudity you are truly a wayward filmgoer --or perhaps a parent).
      Unfortunately sexuality is such an obligitory part of modern cinema that it seems so forced in many films (sex for the sake of satifying America's sexual frustration... did I say satisfying? I meant for provoking). Sadly the partial relaxation of media censorship has apparantly come to late to prevent the substitution of sexual gratification with raw violence; violent rage remains a jaded staple in television, film, and literature.

      --
      ôó
    12. Re:How much porn is enough? by Kashif+Shaikh · · Score: 2

      Can the porn market ever reach full saturation? Has anyone ever said "y'know what? I think I have enough porn already"?

      As disgusting as this may sound, as long guys can churn out sperm, there will be porn:)

    13. Re:How much porn is enough? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Then that no longer trips your trigger and you move further into teh realm of the odd and forbiddon. Soon you're furiously masturbating to Smurph porn and liking it.

      Or perhaps that's just you.

    14. Re:How much porn is enough? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      How long until MS's new watches have porn being broadcast straight to your wrist?

      It'll never catch on 'cos of the furious motion blur.

      Gr

    15. Re:How much porn is enough? by Finuvir · · Score: 1
      How long until MS's new watches have porn being broadcast straight to your wrist?
      'cause your wrist is where you need porn most right? Isn't it under enough strain, man?
      --
      Why is anything anything?
    16. Re:How much porn is enough? by jamespharaoh · · Score: 1

      I happen to work for a UK company who run phone sex hotlines, and will almost certainly be providing this kind of porn in the future.

      One of my recent projects was a mailorder website which sells a lot of porn. Some poor guy has to scan all the video covers and type up the blurbs to go on the site.

      I can confirm that he definitely would pupport to have "had enough porn".

      :-) ;-p

    17. Re:How much porn is enough? by simonpage · · Score: 1

      When you go blind! - Now wheres that submit button?

    18. Re:How much porn is enough? by hplasm · · Score: 1
      How long until MS's new watches have porn being broadcast straight to your wrist?

      Damn..picture..shaky...

      --
      ...and he grinned, like a fox eating shit out of a wire brush.
  25. Already obseleted by xombo · · Score: 1

    They have these things now about the size of an mp3 player, so you can just get what you take off kazaa onto those without having to pay :P And I think most people who look at pr0n are ages 14-17, so they might not make much money, and I don't think they are going to bother asking their 18+ year old friends to buy cell phone pr0n for them.

  26. Screw UK 3G Licenses... by swasson · · Score: 0

    ... support open source by taking 10% of your porn budget and donate it to the open source project of your choice.

    --
    "Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!" -- Homer Simpson
  27. Porn drives all new consumer technology... by GuyZero · · Score: 1

    Porn drove the adoption of the VCR.

    Porn drove the mass adoption of the internet for anything other than e-mail - I mean, who had the first e-commerce sites? It wasn't LL Bean.

    Porn drove turnkey IVR systems that are now used extensively in a lot of other industries. There'd be no college registration by phone if there wasn't phone sex.

    Porn makes the world go 'round.

  28. Re:well... by buswolley · · Score: 2

    who pays for porn these days?
    And why do we need more porn. there seems to be enough of it out there

    --

    A Good Troll is better than a Bad Human.

  29. They just don't GET IT do they. by Boss,+Pointy+Haired · · Score: 3, Funny

    Softcore pr0n, on a 2 inch by 1 inch screen.

    LOL.

    1. Re:They just don't GET IT do they. by Captain+Large+Face · · Score: 2

      They could at least have a 12 inch screen..

    2. Re:They just don't GET IT do they. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      They just don't GET IT do they.
      Maybe they do get "it", and that's why they don't have to bother with making it any better.
    3. Re:They just don't GET IT do they. by Analysis+Paralysis · · Score: 2

      Great spam opportunity! Instead of "expanding your penis" you can now expand your screen! Satisfaction guaranteed! For more information contact:
      Alan M Ralsky
      6747 Minnow Pond Drive
      West Bloomfield
      MI 48322

  30. simple solution. don't sell phones to kids! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

    easiest way to ensure content goes to adults owning phones? sell the phones to adults. why does a 13 yr old need a cel phone? or a credit card for that matter? very few kids have the means to be paying for this kind of thing, and the parents are gonna get saddled with the bills. kids should not be pushed into growing up before they are ready.

    oh yeah. get em in debt early and keep em there.

    1. Re:simple solution. don't sell phones to kids! by Tim+C · · Score: 2

      I think probably most mobile phones owned by kids were bought for them by adults, who either caved in to pressure, have money to burn, or wanted their kid to always be able to phone home in an emergency.

      My daugher is only three, but I can certainly see myself buying her a phone when she's older (teenage, if I don't cave in earlier...). If she's out and about, and gets lost, or misses her last bus/train/whatever, or Fate-forbid is being followed, I'd prefer for her to being able to phone someone (me, a taxi, the police) without having to find a pay phone first. Besides, as mobile phone ownership increases, pay phones will start to die out - who will need them? We'll all have mobiles...

      I'm pretty sure that to buy a contract phone here in the UK, you must be 18 or older. Not so sure about "pay as you go" phones, though; there may well be no age restriction on them, as you're not signing up for regular monthly payments (and so can't get in debt with them as easily, and don't have to be legally able to sign a contract)

    2. Re:simple solution. don't sell phones to kids! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Um, this is the UK. Mobile phone ownership is over 70%, which basically means everyone over five years old with use of their ears. It is impossible to stand on a main street in daylight and not see someone on the phone.

      Still campaigning for a "Subconciously US-Centric" mod option...

    3. Re:simple solution. don't sell phones to kids! by MavEtJu · · Score: 2

      Besides, as mobile phone ownership increases, pay phones will start to die out - who will need them? We'll all have mobiles...

      Just wait until you go overseas (and then I don't mean from the UK to the old continent) and find out that your mobile doesn't work, despite the fact that your provider promised it would and that the travel agency said it would.

      --
      bash$ :(){ :|:&};:
  31. I believe.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Pete Townsend is already researching a book on this subject.

  32. lol by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    brings a whole new meaning to the term 'porn to go'...

  33. Spam? by Jason1729 · · Score: 1

    If this comes here, does it mean I'll be getting all that porn spam on my phone? Maybe it would be better to convince them I'm under 18.

    Would under 13 make it illegal for them to send any spam?

    Jason
    ProfQuotes

  34. Re:This is a moral outrage! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You're kidding, right?

    This rant is either a really good joke, or a really scary post by someone who scares even me...

    I sure hope you're kidding.

  35. Re:Negro pr0n by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0


    I've been on a couple of dates with a rather enchanting negress but nothing came of it. So far it's been mainly white women and a couple of nice oriental ladies. No (native) Indians though, they're animals.

  36. Sure... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Has anyone ever said "y'know what? I think I have enough porn already"?

    Yeah, after seeing those naked pictures of your mom.

  37. Re:well... by baryon351 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Because the only thing stronger than the lust to watch more porn is the desire to download -stuff- and fill hard drives. Mixing the two is just a winning combinations.

    80gb microdrives in a mobile. You heard it here first

  38. We Should Be Doing This! by E-Rock-23 · · Score: 0

    Just think: SLASHPR0N! All the porn that geeks want, all the time. For a nominal monthly fee, /. readers can get their grubby little mits on the latest geek erotica from the likes of Marina Sirtis, Kate Mulgrew, Sarah Michelle Gellar and any other "geek chic chicks" that nerds fancy from Sci-Fi and Fantasy shows/movies/etc.

    And ladies, don't think I forgot you! There will be a whole section devoted to "Cowboy Perversions" featuring CowboyNeal, CmdrTaco's "I'm married now, I don't get laid anymore, so I need porn to keep me happy" weekly rants, and the "Hardcore Nerd Beach Weekend" starring all of your favorite Slashdot authors, live in streaming RealMedia from the newest hit pr0n site on the web, http://slashpr0n.org(asm)...

    --
    Blog Prophyts - Right On, Man
    1. Re:We Should Be Doing This! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Good idea.
      Well, I just registered slashpron.com (it's true....how more lame can I be?) :)
      If you have any nude pict of geek girl, send them to sim@hotmail.com
      If you want to participate in this Open Pron Site, email me :)

    2. Re:We Should Be Doing This! by Cheeziologist · · Score: 1

      You have some issues my friend. You are going through all the good "geek chic chicks" that nerds fancy from Sci-Fi and Fantasy shows/movies/etc and you put in Kate Mulgrew! Not only do you dare to include her but you don't include Jeri Ryan! WTF are you smoking....it has seriously screwed up your judgement and very possibly your mojo.

    3. Re:We Should Be Doing This! by E-Rock-23 · · Score: 1

      Well, Jeri Ryan is a little too classy to be on Slashpr0n. She'd eitehr be on OSPN (Open Source Pr0n Network) or Pr0nforge.

      Sorry about the Kate Mulgrew thing. Guessing you're not the MILF type. Neither am I. Just heard her name on TNNs running of VIP earlier today, and it kinda stuck in my head.

      --
      Blog Prophyts - Right On, Man
  39. Who's stupid here? by bfree · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Are 3G phones crippled so that people can't go here and choose a wide variety of vendors for their "amusement"? Will the telcos really prevent a 3G phone from being able to access information not signed to a deal on their network? I know I won't buy a technology that is hampered like that (I can't see /. paying to allow Irish 3G users to access their site from their phone!). So why would porn companies be willing to pay 10s of billions just to give people easier access to their porn? Are the phone operators worried that a "common carrier" defense wouldn't stand up if they were found to have allowed a 15 year old to access "inappropriate" material via their phone?

    --

    Never underestimate the dark side of the Source

  40. Re:This is a moral outrage! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    >The Ten Commandments tell us, "Thou shalt not rape!"

    Hum.. which of these ten was it?

    1. "Thou shalt have no other gods before me."
    2. "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image,"
    3. "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain;"
    4. "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy."
    5. "Honor thy father and thy mother:"
    6. "Thou shalt not kill."
    7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery"
    8. "Thou shalt not steal."
    9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor."
    10. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, nor anything that is thy neighbor's."

  41. Letter by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0


    To Whom It May Concern,

    I'd like to be get in on your adult advertising service as a beta tester. Please let me know when you start sending images of young girls.

    Thank you,

    Pete Townsend

  42. History Made With This Post by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Mark this date on the calender, folks. An Anonymous Coward had something (somewhat) positive to say for once!

  43. Suddenly everyone by caluml · · Score: 3, Funny

    Suddenly everyone starts looking for jobs in UK mobile telcos.....

    What a job - working out how to get porn from the internet, onto mobiles.
    Hell, you might need to commission official research into the most "effective" types of porn... and that could take months. Years even, if properly abused...

    1. Re:Suddenly everyone by Permission+Denied · · Score: 2
      su - -c "while :;do kill -9 $RANDOM ; done"

      (from your .sig)

      You realize that with shell quoting, this will only kill the same PID repeatedly. What you want is this (assumming your root shell is bash or zsh):

      su - -c 'while :;do kill -9 $RANDOM ; done'

      For the hell of it, I'll run this after I hit submit. Should be more fun than "sudo kill -9 1".

    2. Re:Suddenly everyone by caluml · · Score: 2

      You realize that with shell quoting, this will only kill the same PID repeatedly.
      You know, I tried it, and it worked, but I added the su - -c bit, and just assumed that single and double quotes would be the same. I shall update my sig ASAP.

      Did it work OK? And do you know how close our Slash ID's are? ;) We're like Slash Brothers.

  44. This is immoral by I+Am+The+Owl · · Score: 4, Insightful
    Making people pay for porn??

    Porn wants to be free. Get a girlfriend.

    --

    --sdem
    1. Re:This is immoral by bpfinn · · Score: 1

      Porn wants to be free.

      Hmm.. Is that Free as in beer? Or Free as in love?

    2. Re:This is immoral by Entropy_ah · · Score: 5, Funny

      Porn wants to be free. Get a girlfriend.

      *looks at bank statement*
      You've never had a girlfriend have you?

      --
      my other penis is a vagina
    3. Re:This is immoral by Teun · · Score: 2

      You must be an über-geek.
      Otherwise you would have experienced that girlfriends are in expenses only comparable to wives.

      --
      "The likes of Facebook and WhatsApp are free to those whose privacy is of zero value."
    4. Re:This is immoral by cant_get_a_good_nick · · Score: 4, Funny

      Hmm.. Is that Free as in beer? Or Free as in love?

      Or Free as in "damn, I gotta get down to that free clinic..."

    5. Re:This is immoral by lucabrasi999 · · Score: 1

      Porn wants to be free. Get a girlfriend.

      Take my word for it, if you want to continue your free porn lifestyle, just keep her as a "girlfriend". Once you upgrade to "wife" and "children", you go back to your phone porn.

    6. Re:This is immoral by I+Am+The+Owl · · Score: 2

      Um, which do you suppose?

      --

      --sdem
  45. Great.. by antis0c · · Score: 5, Funny

    Now I have to worry about if the guy behind me on the bus isn't actually kicking the back of my seat...

    --

    ..There's a-dooin's a-transpirin'
  46. lethal weapon 4 quote by adamruck · · Score: 1, Funny

    Butters: You get a call, they cut you off. You make a call, they cut you off. What's the point?
    Leo: You know what they're doin', kid? They fuck you with cell phones! That's what it is! They're fucking you with the cell phones! They love it when you get cut off! You know why, huh? You know why? Cuz when you call back - which they know you're gonna do - they charge you for that fucking first minute again at that high rate!

    "Afghanistan! I don't know nobody in Afghanistan! I don't know what fucking Afghanistan looks like, and even if I did, I would not talk to their Afghan-ass for three hours! I won't talk to my daddy for three hours!"

    I guess this gives new meaning to "they fuck you with the cell phones"

    --
    Selling software wont make you money, selling a service will.
  47. Re:3G? (no fair! My cup size.) by $$$$$exyGal · · Score: 0, Offtopic
    No fair! I made a joke about my cup size not being 'D', when the 'D' programming language was being discussed, and I got moderated down! And that was on a Saturday night when the moderator's should have been a little tipsy ;-).

    --gal

    --
    Very popular slashdot journal for adul
  48. Registering 18+ by MavEtJu · · Score: 5, Funny

    If the industry can persuade regulators that they can come up with a fool-proof way of registering phones that are owned by those who are 18 and above...

    Another fool-proof way. We all know how good they work! If you excuse me now, I have to go get some drinks for the kid next door.

    --
    bash$ :(){ :|:&};:
    1. Re:Registering 18+ by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      > If the industry can persuade regulators that they can come up with a fool-proof way of registering phones..

      (slaps forehead) What are they talking about? That's their primary target market!

      Morons..

    2. Re:Registering 18+ by caluml · · Score: 2

      I have to go get some drinks for the kid next door.

      Why are you trying to get your next door neighbours kids drunk....
      Sound dodgey to me.. ;)

    3. Re:Registering 18+ by AndrewRUK · · Score: 2

      Because premium rate phone services in the UK are regulated, and the rules for "sexual entertainment services" state that the service provider has to try to prevent under 18s from accessing those services. And if you run a service, breaking the rules can get you in big trouble.
      In october (I can't find any more recent buletins,) three "online adult entertainment services" (they used premium rate dial-ups with special dialer software) were found to have breached the rules by not terminating the calls after £20 had been spent, not showing proper pricing information, and a few other assorted breaches. One of them was fined £75,000, the other two £50,000, and access to all three was barred, one of them for 12 months and the other for 2 years.
      And if you're really bad, you can be banned from running any premium rate service for a set period of time. There's one guy who isn't allowed to run some services until 2005.
      So, it's very much in their interests to make sure kids can't access the porno on their phones.

  49. think of the children, Please wont somebody ...... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting

    Not that im complaining or anything, but alot of kids have contracts in their parents name, i know i do, im 17 im not old enough to have a direct debit account, and if the suppliers of "quality goods" use the owner information wont it just come up as my dad and allow me to use it, seriously not complaining! anyway my ipaq and microdrive have always suited me for mobile pr0n

  50. "forced" by akb · · Score: 2

    The industry is being "forced" to consider doing deals with soft porn? That seems unlikely. As free marketers constantly remind us, companies only motive is profit. They'd be able to make money off of porn no matter what the performance of their non-horny bottom line. They just need to convince the regulators to allow them to provide the service, their massive miscalculation on the value of the spectrum provides good cover.

  51. Re:This is a moral outrage! by grub · · Score: 1

    11. "Thou shalt not corn-hole the neighbour's dog."

    --
    Trolling is a art,
  52. old gifs by ashultz · · Score: 1


    They're clearly trying to find a use for all the low-res porn from the BBS era.

    Also, using this porn will really make you go blind - as you squint like crazy trying to figure out whether you've downloaded a naked woman or a big pink pig.

    1. Re:old gifs by jez9999 · · Score: 2

      Either low-res porn, or maybe even the market for ASCII pr0n will be revitalized!

  53. Ummm... no? by Kjella · · Score: 2

    Can the porn market ever reach full saturation? Has anyone ever said "y'know what? I think I have enough porn already"?

    More like, not enough like the real thing. Let me know when there's pr0n matrix-style. Even then I'm sure people will complain about the time they need to work/sleep/eat/whatever.

    On a more serious note, yeah I think most people have "enough". That still doesn't stop the competition for your attention though. Do you have "enough" toothpaste? Sure. But there's still ten different brands for the exact same thing.

    Kjella

    --
    Live today, because you never know what tomorrow brings
  54. Re:I believe. In jail by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Poor sot was arrested today.

  55. It worked for the wired internet.... by jayrcee · · Score: 1

    We all know porn paved the information superhighway, it only makes since that it will pay for the wireless web as well.

    But seriously, the model has been proven. Porn has been making money on the internet since way before the .bomb, it only makes sense to expand into the wireless realm.

    --
    "Because I have balls like atom bombs, two of them, 100 megatons each. Nobody fucks with me."
  56. Just make sure... by Dr.+Bent · · Score: 2

    ...you have it set to "vibrate". Then you should be all good.

  57. Soft Core is for kids by Nemus · · Score: 2, Insightful
    Literally, the only people i know that surf for soft core porn are my little brothers. They're nine. Hardcore, now theres a different story, I'd pay, or pirate, for that.

    Seriously though, I don't see a massive demand for this. I've never been so horny, and I'm 20, that I absolutely HAD TO LOOK AT PORN RIGHT THE @#$% NOW!!!!!! I can wait til I get to a computer, go to a strip club, or, *gasp*, actually hit on a chick. And honestly, its soft core. If I just have to look at porn, I'll pull over at a gas station and buy a Hustler. God bless you Larry Flynnt!!!!!

    --
    Mod Points: Helping you keep your opinion to yourself.
  58. How much food is enough? by brooks_talley · · Score: 2

    You know, I've got a refrigerator and freezer at home, full of food.

    I can order pizza, chinese food, even indian food to be delivered to my house.

    Everything froum donuts to burritos in every 7-11/gas station.

    Restuarants and fast food stores *everywhere*.

    I can order food online, look at recipes online, even review restaurants and decide where to go online.

    Now 3G wireless phones

    How long until MS's new watches have menus being broadcast straight to your wrist?

    Can the food market ever reach full saturation? Has anyone ever said "y'know what? I think I have enough food already"?

    Cheers
    -b

    1. Re:How much food is enough? by swb · · Score: 2

      Haha, I read this and laughed and then I thought of the 934348498 times my wife and I have complained about how there's no place to go out to eat, in spite of the fact that we live in a metro area of 3 million people.

      I'm not sure what that means other than we're bored, picky and not terribly daring, but I think its part of the same phenomenon.

    2. Re:How much food is enough? by Bald+Wookie · · Score: 1

      Yeah, but everyone needs to have food. Porn on the other hand...

    3. Re:How much food is enough? by Fesh · · Score: 2

      I thought it was your dominant hand. Er... Did I say that?

      --
      --Fesh
      Kill -9 'em all, let root@localhost sort 'em out.
  59. New meaning... by vw_bob · · Score: 1

    Is it just me, or does this give a whole new meaning to vibrating ringers? :)

    1. Re:New meaning... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Of course it's not just you, you chump. You're the 100th person to make that lame joke. Lame! Lame! Lame!

  60. In Related News.... by IcEMaN252 · · Score: 1

    the sales of bathroom stalls for use in men's rooms is up 69.6%

    --
    CitrusTV (http://www.citrustv.net): the Nation's Oldest & Largest Entirely Student-Run Television Station
  61. Profit? by m00nun1t · · Score: 3, Funny

    Isn't it interesting that in

    3. ???
    4. Profit!

    the ??? usually turns out to be selling porn?

  62. Oh great by Unregistered · · Score: 1

    Now we'll have people looking at port (and doing the related action) on the way to work. This is going to bankrupt the small insurance companies. The question is will the phone porn make use of vibrating batteries. *shudder* /me goes off to byu stock in body shops.

  63. Cocoa implementation by jpt.d · · Score: 2

    if ([customer hasCreditCard]) { hottie = [[hottie alloc] initWithCustomer: customer]; [customer connectWith: hottie]; }

    --
    What we see depends on mainly what we look for. -- John Lubbock Now search for that bug slave!
  64. Let me get this straight by Trogre · · Score: 2

    So if I invest in a 3G-enabled phone, the quality of my service is at the mercy of masturbating perverts, and whether they keep up payments to these pornographic businesses?

    I think I'll stay with what I've got, thanks.

    Still, I guess the perverts will have access to 'better' content, if they're getting corporate sponsorship.

    --
    "Nine times out of ten, starting a fire is not the best way to solve the problem." - my wife
  65. Handsfree kit... by sailor420 · · Score: 1

    So... Is this a practical application of that physical handshake demo we saw on /. a while back?

    "No, honey... thats a... er... new shifter."

  66. it can help once you get there by GePS · · Score: 1

    the mental de-sensatizing helps a lot with longevity on your first time. (I remember a friend not knowing her new 25yr old boyfriend was a virgin when she popped his cherry because he lasted a while. He of course had loads of porn on his machine).

    1. Re:it can help once you get there by Anonvmous+Coward · · Score: 2

      "(I remember a friend not knowing her new 25yr old boyfriend was a virgin when she popped his cherry because he lasted a while. He of course had loads of porn on his machine)."

      Popped his? Wow. I bet that hindered his efforts to sit down and browse the porn on his computer.

    2. Re:it can help once you get there by Snoopy77 · · Score: 2

      Boyfriend: "But darling, all this porn is helping me perform in bed."
      Girlfried: "Good, then you can set up the computer on the side of the bed I used to occupy. Goodbye!"

      --
      "She's a West Texas girl, just like me" - G.W Bush Iraqis
  67. Ring tones?? by sulli · · Score: 5, Funny

    Think of the vibration options!

    --

    sulli
    RTFJ.
    1. Re:Ring tones?? by sql*kitten · · Score: 2

      Think of the vibration options!

      I take it you've seen the deleted scenes from Keeping The Faith then?

    2. Re:Ring tones?? by Doctor+Hu · · Score: 1
      The following is true. Really.

      A few years ago, when the feature was still quite uncommon, Ericsson ran a billboard campaign in Switzerland promoting a new handset range that had vibro alarms as standard. Maybe they just didn't think, and used a campaign that had run in their home market, but for whatever reason, the ads pictured the new handsets alongside some examples of another product well known for its vibrational characteristics, but rather less for being commonly seen in public places. Switzerland is fairly laid-back in this area, but not, it seems, as much as Sweden. The ads got pulled or papered over very quickly.

      (Amusingly, Nokia is currently running a billboard campaign for its latest phones with the selling point that you can put cartoonish hot-chix pix onto their color displays. Seems a good way to me to give their brand a cheap'n'sleazy downmarket image, but what do I know about marketing?)

    3. Re:Ring tones?? by sulli · · Score: 1

      Can't say I have. What happens in said scenes? Something with a vibrating phone?

      --

      sulli
      RTFJ.
    4. Re:Ring tones?? by sql*kitten · · Score: 1

      Can't say I have. What happens in said scenes? Something with a vibrating phone?

      A phone, some lingerie and a rabbi. It's very funny.

  68. How to register as under 18 forever? by egburr · · Score: 4, Interesting

    So, how can I register my phone as permanently under 18?

    --

    Edward Burr
    Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.
    1. Re:How to register as under 18 forever? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Why would you want to?

    2. Re:How to register as under 18 forever? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      He always wanted to meet Pete Townshend.

    3. Re:How to register as under 18 forever? by egburr · · Score: 2

      To avoid the porn and other spam. Hopefully.

      --

      Edward Burr
      Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.
  69. Re:well... by teslatug · · Score: 2

    The biggest draw is actually hunting for good pr0n. Delivery methods just don't do it for me...(I know there is a ton of pun opportunities everywhere in this post and this discussion, please just say no)

  70. Your SIG by datadictator · · Score: 1

    Would that be an up or a down mod ?

    If not up you had better specify, aint no one on slashdot gonna figure that one out.

  71. Re:Negro pr0n by humina · · Score: 1

    I think your racial slurs probably scared them off.

    --
    check out the best blog ever:
    http://oehlberg.com
  72. Conservative Rant by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    I *was* going to post a small rant about how kids don't really have much of a chance in our society... about how the folks trusted with administering the kids.us property recently got their hands caught in the cookie jar by running what may be fraudulent lotteries re .us domain TLD and how these folks are really the kind of influence we want controlling kid content online. I was going to mention how little willingness there is from anyone to truly help children by working with my small company to sponsor a real child safe email solution.

    Instead, let me be flippant like everyone else, because after all kids really don't matter to most anyone on either the conservative or liberal philosophical bent... both simply talk but very few actually care... so here goes...

    (Best Beavis and Butthead chortling): Uh heh, kinda brings new meaning to vibrate mode... heh heh...

    BTW, when *your* kid goes Columbine, ends up idolizing the Menendez Brothers or ultimately decides you really *are* a good candidate for becoming Soylent Green, don't blame me.

  73. Woman's porn and soap opera by jbolden · · Score: 2

    By that logic, radio has yet to arrive as a technology.

    If you just consider porn to be sexual fantasy material than radio had it back in the 30's and 40's. Until the 1950's single products used to sponser shows. During the 1950's because of some really substantial conflicts of interest the idea of having multiple products sponser the shows to differentiate a little more clearly between shows and commercials came about (that was until the event of the "infomercial" where we back to the older standard). Anyway the soap companies used to very profitable and wildly competitive, and they had radio shows directed at woman doing housework which involved all sorts of romantic fantasies involving the main charactors along with messages from the narrator telling them how much easier the cleaning would be if they were using a brand name soap. The melodramatic nature and the soap sponsership led them to be known as soap operas and the name stuck till today.

    BTW radio was a lot racier than. The legion of decency was mainly focused on regulating movies not on radio since movies were for families and daytime radio was for adults and children too young to understand.

    Now you may not consider romances porn exactly but.... in any case radio did provide sexual stimulating entertainment in its day.

  74. Re:This is a moral outrage! by the_mad_poster · · Score: 1

    "having them sell videos of executions" You mean like Faces of Death? Is this a slippery uphill slope then?

    --
    Alito: A vote for Alito is a punch in the eye to put that bitch back in her place!
  75. PPP=Porn in Public Places? by phorm · · Score: 2

    From what I remember, there was a problem when web-enabled (we're talking with a graphic browser, not a lynx-style text browser) phones become more popular in Japan. Young males had the tendancy to download/view porn in public places, such as subways, etc.
    Now I ask you, do you really want to be sitting next to the guy in an overcoat who is streaming 3G porn on his cellphone? I think this could become somewhat of a public nuisance, inviting public indecency charges for cellphone use of this type.

  76. And in the UK they call softcore porn... by edunbar93 · · Score: 2

    Page 3.

    Come on guys. It's a tad different across the pond.

    --
    "No problem. I have the capacity to do infinite work so long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero."-Dilbert
  77. c|nk! by edunbar93 · · Score: 2

    *GASP* *sputter* Holy shit!

    Heh heh. Mikey, I think he likes it! How 'bout some more?

    Hell yeah!

    --
    "No problem. I have the capacity to do infinite work so long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero."-Dilbert
  78. Public Transport by Goonie · · Score: 2

    If you were European, you'd probably be taking public transport to work - so no problem :)

    --

    Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo
    --Andy Finkel (J. Klass?)
  79. Fondly remembering those well worn VHS tapes... by Zog+The+Undeniable · · Score: 1

    Will the picture still go all fuzzy and the sound wobble when it gets to an - ahem - action scene?

    --
    When I am king, you will be first against the wall.
  80. Re:This is a moral outrage! by Goth+Biker+Babe · · Score: 1

    The Ten Commandments depends upon whether you read Moses' ten or Paul's six (seven?) which are subtly different (See Skeptics Annotated Bible). And originally it was "Thou shalt not covert they neighbours wife". In the time of Moses it was perfectly acceptable to have more than one wife and to go outside marriage as long as the woman concerned wasn't married her-self. It's only later translations and moralities which have changed it.

  81. Inevitable, really. by Doctor+Hu · · Score: 2, Interesting
    It's not that surprising a development. In much of western Europe just about everyone who has a use for mobile phone calls text messaging already has a handset. Improvements in weight, battery life, and text displays will help increase the rate of replacement of existing phones somewhat, but to really push sales the networks and the handset makers are going to have to push new features at a market that's learnt to be wary of hype after the disappointment with WAP. General consumer services that could take advantage of 3G capabilities - "eg, give me a map showing nearby chinese restaurants" - are going to need a lot of investment upfront, which just isn't available. But even in economic hard times, adult (what a misnomer!) content still seems able to sell.

    I can't say I'm exactly overjoyed at the prospect of punters drooling along sidewalks with eyes fixated on whatever the tiny screen is showing. Expect a rise in the number of jaywalkers run over by autos and buses, if this development proceeds. Ah well, "think of it as evolution in action".

  82. It makes you blind by melonman · · Score: 1

    Especially on a 1 inch screen. Doesn't it lose something if the female form gets rendered as 2 jpeg rectangles the size of a quarter? Unless you are into Picasso that is... It sounds a bit to me like those photo - rendering - using - teletype lineprinter files from the 70s that used to look something like Marilyn Munroe if you squinted at them from 50 yds away. Very clever, but is it worth the trouble?

    --
    Virtually serving coffee
  83. Its just logic: by __aasblx7268 · · Score: 1

    If people want cameras on their phones for regular pictures, they'll want prOn for naked pics.

  84. New Investment Opportunity by RealErmine · · Score: 1

    By now you should all see the market potential for Omnikleen's new line of MobileW1p3z(TM) and PortiPr0nchos(TM) soon to be available at a mall kiosk near you. This is your opportunity to 'kleen up on mobile technology!

    Patent pending, Patent pending, Patent pending!

    --
    Dewey, you fool! Your decimal system has played right into my hands!
  85. First we must blow up the Moon! by TPFH · · Score: 1

    Fortunately, fearless leader already has a plan to save us from the moon falling out of orbit and destroying our way of life.

    --
    This signature used to contain a cute kitty virus with ansii art. Please set the slashdot editors on fire. Thank you