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California Man Sues Penis-Enlargment Firms
Ronin writes "The DenverPost reports that 'A California man on Thursday sued a slew of international companies, including a Greeley distributor, alleging the penis-enlargement products they market and distribute do not work.' One of the highlights of the article is when the man says "I was wondering for a long time why no one has gotten around to suing these penis-enlargement guys, because it seems like a pretty blatant ... fraud." Probably cause people are too embarrased to say they've tried it."
...at first I read that as "Denver Man Sues Penis-Enlargement Farms".
FLR
A California man on Thursday sued a slew of international companies, including a Greeley distributor, alleging the penis-enlargement products they market and distribute do not work.
And the judge replied: "Duh, fucknut. Get out of my courtroom."
----
"Ours was a free culture. It is becoming much less so."-Lawrence Lessig
If your penis doesn't enlarge when you rub cream on it, maybe you're buying the wrong product.
If his lawsuit is successful and these penis-enlargement companies get put out of business, my inbox should become considerably less cluttered.
I am Sartre of the Borg. Existence is futile.
Takes some balls to do that..
;)
Gonna be a hard case to win mind
(That took far too much effort.. Must touch up on my wang referencing skills)
fortune -o
Or if he only tries to get petite women!
I belong to the ______ generation.
I'll testify against that guy any day! My penis grew to 7 feet, just as promised! You should see the look on those animal's faces. :P
---- I'll take you in a Hunt deathmatch any day.
I'm amazed that they got a million people to sign onto the class action suit. Essentially that means 1,000,000 men are willing to stand up and say "hi, I have an abnormally small penis AND I was stupid enough to respond to spam".
1) advertise for sexual products of the kinky kind ...
2) charge $3 for the product
3) never deliver
4) when customer complains, mail a check for $3 with bold letters saying "RETURN FOR HUGE ANAL DILDO"
5) customer never has the courage to cash the check
6)
7) Profit !!
Who is this Karma guy and why is he bad ??
The DenverPost reports that 'A California man on Thursday sued a slew of international companies, including a Greeley distributor, alleging the penis-enlargement products they market and distribute do not work
...
I hope he doesn't plan on paying his lawyers with the money he's waiting for from his business associate and dear friend, Dr. Adelawe Johnson in Lago, Nigeria
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
Reminds me of a joke. Guy picks up a girl at a bar. They go back to his place and things are going well for the guy... until he drops his trousers and the woman points to his crotch and asks, "who the hell do you think you're going to please with that?"
Guy responds, "Me."
Man launches case against spammers after learning that Hot Lesbian Teens Do Not Want His Throbbing Cock Right Now!
We call Colorado "New California."
Didn't you get the memo?
Constitutional rights may be respected, repealed, or modified; but they must never be ignored.
Up next. Woman sues penish enlargment pill seller for making her boyfriend's penis too large. Their response, "Why should my client be responsible if her eyes are bigger than her ..."
Fight Spammers!
LOL! i guess he got to know that empirically. kinda embarrasing going to court with the evidence, don't you think?? :P
1. Get the spamming community to use linux.
2. SCO sues spammers on copyright charges, drains spammers of funds.
3. Spammers destroy SCO's site permantly.
Steve
Yeah, you might have grabbed the Ben-Gay by mistake.
Sadly, no. The spammers will just send you offers from fake law firms encouraging you to sue people selling you penis enlargement creams.
There IS a sucker born every minute.
They do work my penis is up to 2 inches(5.08 cm).
Yours Truly,
Darl McBride
SCO Group
Veramocor
> Become 10 times the man you are,
> increase your length by two inches!
Let's see, two divided by ten ... hey, I'm feeling offended!
If he can be in both Denver and California at the same time.
R3AL V@GINAL SHRINKING CREAM!
Men! Do your wives complain that your manhood just doesn't measure up? Slip your woman some VSC and in two to three weeks your woman will be wondering what she was complaining about!
SIZE DOES MATTER!
beowulf289028344street12
A winner is you!
This guy might have a small penis but he does have big balls!
Excellent. I'm hoping it'll be easy to get a list of the people involved in the class action. Those are those jerks who have been encouraging spammers by replying to junk email. Get 'em!
Al Qaeda has ninjas!
Penis enlargement firm?
Heh, he said..."firm".
Don't forget wangular momentum.
I've found it works pretty well for me. (Proof available on request.)
What is he going to do, drop his trousers for the judge?
individuals have to volunteer to join a class lawsuit, so unless you can convince the people dumb enough to respond to spam.... ooh, idea!
Dear Xfesfesf,
I have 4.5 million stored in my bank account, and wish to share it with you. To claim your share, contact me at and ask about joining the new social class lawsuit!!!
I came home and found an e-mail message offering to sell me something that would do the same thing.
An oldie, but goody:
After a long makeout session, a man and his girlfriend are about to have sex for the first time. Dude starts undressing, shoes and socks come off first, and the girl asks: "What happened to your feet? They're all messed up!"
Guy says, "As a kid, I had tolio".
She shrugs it off, but when the pants come off, well, there's something odd there, too. The guy notices the look on her face, and says, "As a kid, I had the kneesles".
The rest of the clothes come off. When the girl sees his package, she gets exasperated and says, "Let me guess, smallcocks, right?"
I don't think penis size matters much if you're into fitting your hand around girl's wastes. I mean, learn to spell.
Generally speaking, the angle of the dangle is proportional to the sag of the bag, providing the throb of the knob remains constant.
I refuse to have a sig... dammit!
a guy and his newlywed wife are on their honeymoon, getting ready to have sex for the first time.
before getting any further, the guy warns his wife: "i just want to let you know, i'm like a baby down there."
the wife responds: "it's okay. i love you no matter what."
the man then takes off his clothes and the wife falls off the bed and exclaims: "i thought you said you were like a baby down there!"
he responds: "i am. it's 12" long and weighs 9 pounds."
Snake oil? Where do I sign up?!
my guess this is: ...stuff that matters?
-- Free software on every PC on every desk
Maybe Slashdot editors are in need of some headline enlargment or something.
If he's selling the stuff, he obviously hasn't gone to great lengths (heh heh) to mask his identity. =)
Back in my day when you had a small penis, you bought a Corvette, or collected big rifles and pistols...these kids now adays just want to get by with the quick-and-easy solution.
"Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it." - John Lennon.
Right after his honey moon, Bill Gates' wife tells him: "Now I understand why is it called Microsoft".
"There is no teacher but the enemy."-Mazer Rackham
Well, speak for yourself. It *worked* for me, quadrupled my length in only one week! Unfortunately, it also quadrupled my width, so now I can only fsck elephants, but luckily all I have to do is slip a twenty to the night watchman at the zoo and I'm set for the evening, as long as I remember to bring my ladder.
But those x-ray glasses I bought when I was a kid, well, that was a *real* ripoff!
Anti-gravity? That was *my* little secret! But I never patented it! Boy, was *that* dumb!
Did you go with the Corvette or the guns?
If there really were a sucker born every minute there would be enough around that size wouldn't matter.
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
Judging by past class action suits, about $10.00 per member of the class. And a few million each for the lawyers.
So every woman in Denver will know that this guy has a small cock, AND no money!
Why is he doing this, again?
Damn it, they don't work!!
I Was looking forward to buying Mega Doses of Penis Enlarger treatments for Darl's Cellmate when he lands in the pound-me-in-the-ass prison!
Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est
trouser snake-oil
His enlargement worked so well, he is in Denver AND California at the same time. :-)
Waist, you mean? Learn to spell :D
My other car is first.
I need to switch banks! ;)
I want a new world. I think this one is broken.
Perhaps he's premature :-)
advratisement media.
Somewhere, a spelling bee champion is weeping.
It's how you use it...
To which the ladies reply, "Yeah, right."
We apologise for the fault in this post. Those responsible have been sacked. -- Signed RICHARD M. NIXON
Man, when's the last time anyone got successfully sued for false advertising? I thought we gave that up in the '80's. We're knee deep in evasive logic, now. 4 out of 5 dentists recommend it -- and here they are: Fred, John, Billy, and Tim -- Bob, why do you have to be such a pain?
5 inches is average size Average size, or average size for a Slashdotter?
Yeah ok I used it. It didn't make my penis any bigger, but my hands are now huge.
In the Slashdot moderating system, humourless based offenses are considered especially heinous.
Hope this helps.
Your pizza just the way you ought to have it.
Am I the only male reader of slashdot who takes offence at the implication that "Penis Enlargement Pills Do Not work" (and now someone has sued alleging fraud) is actually in any way relevant "stuff that matters" to me?
Just because I'm a geek of the highest order and a frequent slashdot poster doesn't mean I'm any less of a man (the fact that I don't have a girlfriend is neither here not there).
Visit CryptoGnome in his home.
Ancient Proverb: If you can't hit bottom, ding the hell out of the sides.
5 inches is actually an inch and a half shorter than what I was told the average was back in junior high. This came from suppposedly authoritive information during sex ed.
I bet there's some fun conspiracy out there, some Illuminati-type group of small dicked educators who are trying to bolster their self image by reporting a lower average.
All that this issue needed was someone cocky enough to do it! Oh, the irony!!
He who laughs last is stuck in a time dilation bubble.
1. Your penis is small.
2. You thought LONGitude was a worthy investment towards solving #1
3. Your penis is still small.
4. You are fscking cheap and willing to swallow the embarassment of admitting all of the above just to reclaim your sixty bucks, even tho any male with one drop of self respect would simply forget the 60 bucks to save himself the embarassment of admitting that he is stupid, cheap and has a small dick.
- Taco
Etiquette is etiquette. He kills his mother but he can't wear grey trousers.
These days you overclock or get into case modding.
---
So I see this story, juxtaposed next to the latest
Someone clearly has a sense of humour...
-- This
Back in my day when you had a small penis, you bought a Corvette, or collected big rifles and pistols
... and the less said about the endowment of those who drive Hummers, the better ...
Nowadays, some folks fearful of modern snake oils content themselves with their SUVs de jour
The Future of Human Evolution: Autonomy
It's probably open sores.
Infuriate left and right
Someone standing up for the little guy....
Ive been rubbing that vig Oil on my thingie for months.....nothing...still have a 1 inch slong.
But my hand is HUGE!
I am not sure about the products advertised in the spam. But, reading through all the different forums on the internet, it seems clear that something is successfully turning men into dicks and women into boobs.
Here in Pueblo the Californians have banned smoking in bars too. Somehow the housing prices have stayed normal here, though. Probably because no one that had money would ever dream of living here.
nobody is going to be flirting with Denver Man during this trial.
Table-ized A.I.
Okay, you mentioned elephants, good enough for me.
A man, his wife and son are at the zoo. The husband says "I need to go to the bathroom" and off he goes.
The wife and son are sitting and waiting for him when an elephant goes by. The son says, "Mommy, what's that hanging down there from the elephant?"
Embarassed, the mother says "the tail".
No, not that, the other thing!
That's his trunk, says Mom.
No, no, the thing in the middle!
Th-that's nothing, says Mom, horribly embarassed.
Oh, okay says the boy.
Dad comes back, and Mom goes off to the bathroom.
The elephant comes walking back, and sonny boy says to Dad, what's that hanging down from the elephant?
The tail, son.
No, the other thing!
That's his trunk.
No, no, the thing in the middle!
Oh!, says Dad, that's his penis.
How come when I asked Mom what it was, she said it was nothing?
Smiling smugly, the father says "Boy, I've spoiled that woman!"
I HAVE CUBIC WISDOM THAT TRANSCENDS AND CONTRADICTS ONE DAY GODS
Very good point! (pun not intended)
Also, I don't think I could submit myself to that kind of research too. I know I'm "average", but damn, I don't want people to walk down the street and say
"Hey YO, Wazzzuppp!! I remember at the clinic where they massure yo cock-in-balls. Damn, I loved that......"
Seriously, the whole ordeal sounds embarrassing.
Life is not for the lazy.
I have responded to all of the spam in my inbox over the past few years.
I have four thousand, two hundred and fifteen higher education degrees.
Sir Edmund Hillary wants to climb my boobs.
And between all the penis enlargement and viagra spam, I'm so long and perpetually hard that NASA wants to use my dong as a space elevator.
-JDF
...that there's a big OSDN Personals ad at the top of the comments on this article?
May I suggest using the money to buy mega cartons of Marlboros for Darl's cellmate when he lands in Pound-Me-In-the-Ass prison? While you're at it, make sure to mention that you're a "friend" of Darl's and it'd be such a "shame" if anything "unpleasant" happened to him...
:)
Given that Darl is bound to wind up married to the man with the most cigarettes, the trick is to make sure the right man (or in this case, the most "oh dear Lord have mercy God NOOOOOOOOOO!" man) has the most cigarettes.
Cigarettes: Viagra for the penal system!
Somewhere a Latin professor is weeping.
It was from a documentary called "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels."
Hope this helps!
Fellowship 9/11
Ever since moving to Colorado from California nine years ago, my wife and I have gotten into the habit of telling people we are "from" where we were born. In my case, that means Ohio and, in her case, it means Minneapolis. We only admit we moved to Colorado from California under intense interrogation.
Besides "liberal" tax and spend attitudes, most Califorians don't have the slightest idea of how to drive in ice and snow. This seems to be as much a part of Coloradans taking a dislike to Californians as anything. Thus, saying we are "from" the midwest seems to disarm some of the hostility we might otherwise encounter.
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither safety nor liberty.
Ben
Pounds are a unit of weight, not mass. The premature baby could be on Jupiter.
How do you make an elephant fly?
start with a zipper about 4 feet long....
MrCreosote Meow!Thump!Meow!Thump!Meow!Thump! "You're right! There isn't enough room to swing a cat in here!"
One of the highlights of the article is when the man says "I was wondering for a long time why no one has gotten around to suing these penis-enlargement guys, because it seems like a pretty blatant ... fraud."
The defense is gonna claim the cocky bastard's gotta lot of balls to sue, so something must have worked.
Lets be real, how do you get a decent sampling pool to make a statistic of average penis size.
If you ask for volunteers you won't get the insecure men.
If you have penis doctors (Wangologists?) provide measurements, you get a larger sample of men with problems (enough that they warranted visiting doctor).
The best way obviously is to take a nonvoluntary random sampling across the country (or world). I suggest they abduct men off the street and have playboy bunnies forcefully measure their wang. It will still miss all the slashdotters on their computer in their mother's basement.. but they don't matter since they have no use for their wang anyways.
Aren't these all the same person?
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. -- Gandhi
According to this reliable site no penis enlargement system works but theirs.
They wouldn't lie, would they ? After all, it's written on the web, so it must be true.
-
Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF, find / -name '*base*' |xargs chown -R us && mv zig greatjustice
At a place I used to work, we had saying about guys who drove huge trucks:
"inversely proportional"
And yes, even though it almost goes without saying here on slashdot, I did work among geeks..
"In a 32-bit world, you're a 2-bit user. You've got your own newsgroup, alt.total.loser." -Weird Al
This is a first time in awhile that a comments section in Slashdot has had enough spunk to cause me to spit a load of Mountain Dew all over my nice flatscreen monitor. You tools should be ashamed.
Well, now that my monitor is clean, it's time to go back to repling to the e-mail from the grammatically challenged lesbian teen to see how I can "make women gasp when pants go down".
Don't forget women are all about the mind, how exciting is a 3.75 inch penis? haha losers i'm glad I have 4 1/2
Or is that contempt of court?
----------------------------------- My Other Sig Is Hilarious -----------------------------------
Ah, it's twoo, it's twoo!
So true... If these things really worked, they would be like Viagra for the younger crowd. You'll see them being advertised during Super Bowls ;)
Sivaram Velauthapillai
Sivaram Velauthapillai
Seeking the meaning of life... @slashdot of all places
shush, or the spammers will start sending spam offering operations to allow you to breathe through your ears ;o)
My other OS is also FreeBSD
I thought that was the other end.
Admitting that you spent $160 on penis enlargement cream shows that you are very desperate to fix your bad small dick problem. Is telling the world that you have a small dick and are willing to try anything worth getting your $160 back? You be the judge.
This reminds me of Liza Minelli's ex-husband, who is sueing Liza for spousal abuse. Imagine telling the world that you were beaten up by Liza Minelli, is that really worth $10 million. I don't think so.
- Kill Yourself, spare us all! -
In Canada we think the same thing of all Americans.. lol.. "Look out honey, that's a NY plate!!"
Mod +5 Drunk