Slashdot Mirror
Dating Design Patterns
Why design patterns are needed Many will attest that the API to the WOMEN platform is somewhat obscure, contradictory and poorly documented. However, if you talk to any randomly selected groups of men, you will discover that the problems they face (whether in Pickup or Relationship states) are fundamentally the same. If there's a common set of problems, shouldn't there be a common set of solutions? Moreover, doesn't it bother you that programming geeks, who advocate code reusability and open-sourcing have not come up with reusable successful solutions for commonly occurring problems and have not documented them?
This book is the attempt to change that and unite all design patterns in a single documentation project. You can read the conversation that led to writing DDP (caution: those of you in love with Design Patterns' concept might have a hard time reading how it was all a hoax by the Gang of Four). Hopefully you will understand the danger of letting this knowledge out (hint: geeks who talk to attractive girls, date and get laid spend less time writing code, which could jeopardize some projects) and not recommend the book to everyone you know. The table of contents is available online as well (in PDF format), and you can see that the book is subdivided into two large sections - introduction and pattern catalog.
Introduction to dating design patterns In the first part, the authors introduce the concepts of design patterns with several superfluous definitions in an attempt to outdo the academic titles types on Design Patterns in number of formal references and quoted italic text. They also provide the set of anti-patterns, which can be collected by surveying poor implementations of dating patterns. For example, the Iterator anti-pattern is described as "The nag. One of the most taxing on system resources. Also an anti-pattern when used to repeatedly ask the same woman for a date." Many developers fall into fallacy of thinking anti-pattern would do the job when a pattern does not work.
The chapter on refactoring talks about all the issues that must be taken care of before implementing any of the patterns. Each refactoring unit includes sub-sections on Motivation, Mechanics and Example. The motivation part explains how this refactoring unit can help publish an attractive public interface for FEMALE platform. The mechanics part usually includes a bulleted list of what needs to be done for the implementation. The example brings us into more practical world, where we can visualize how the refactoring units "Get a makeover", "Display yourself in a new context through third parties", "Publish a more restricted interface" and "Fake a phone call from an ex-girlfriend" can help interested geek attract female companions.
Pattern Catalog
The second part is nothing more but a collection of 22 existing dating patterns. This part of the book will be even more familiar to those who read the original Design Patterns, as the headings, bulleted lists, sidebar notes and sub-chapter titles are all there. Each pattern is presented in the following format:
- Pattern name
- Problem statement (the authors acknowledge that for most of developers the problems reside in attempting to implement getLaid method successfully on FEMALE platform)
- Forces (why this pattern might lead to successful implementation)
- Solution (overview of what's required for successful implementation)
- Strategies (step-by-step guide with copious notes)
- Benefits and Drawbacks (analysis of when this design pattern makes sense and when it's not appropriate)
- Related patterns
Anyone who's ever been through UML or Design Patterns class will not have a problem with reading the pattern catalog. The pseudocode sometimes used to describe the pattern is somewhat close to Java and uses Camel notation for method calls, state and interface definitions. Luckily the book is void of any humor that design pattern writers usually try to sneak in, and is just plain formal scientific boring writing with SAT-level vocabulary that we all grew to love while reading the Gang of Four series.
The problem statements use clear language, allowing the reader to figure out whether he has the same problem (and thus should read the pattern to find out the solution) or move on to the next pattern. For example, the Jini Singles Bar pattern describes the following problem:
You're a great catch, of course, and you're looking for someone smart, funny, beautiful, who can talk about rock-climbing, Slashdot, politics and 19th century Serbo-Croatian playrights. It would also be nice if she were 24, between 5'6'' and 5'8'', of French extraction, interested in the songs of Owen Margolis, with dark long brown hair. However, you have not yet found this woman.
Conclusion The point that authors try to emphasize is that Dating Design Patterns is a collection of researched, verified, formalized and proven to work patterns. Of course, there are numerous pages of already available documentation with questionable applicability, as well as HOWTO's from open-source luminaries, but they provide neither the variety of patterns that this book has, nor the exact step-by-step implementations.
As common with design patterns, there are areas where they work perfectly and there are cases, where they are not applicable at all. The collection (full list of patterns with appropriate poster is available from the official Web site) just provides the list of accepted solutions to common problems. Perhaps reading through all 22 patterns is an onerous task and should be left to those in academic world. However, the authors assure that the benefits of successful implementation outweigh the amount of resources that need to be dedicated. Now, if you'll excuse me, that girl from Barnes and Noble with very nice public properties is getting out of the shower and her private members are even more interesting.
Tim's review: Don't buy this book. None of the ideas in it work. Absolute garbage. Haugland's "advice" will not result in flocks of appropriate-sex singles following you out of every coffee bar, bookstore or tango lesson you happen to visit. Repeat: do not buy this book.
You can search for Dating Design Patterns from bn.com, or better yet, straight from the author. Slashdot welcomes readers' book reviews -- to see your own review here, read the book review guidelines, then visit the submission page.
Does anyone else find it interesting that this guy is the one giving the sex tips referenced in the article?
I mean, I was told not to judge a book by its cover but..
on a serious note, I am dating someone and she likes my geeky side. I forward her slashdot posts every week or so...it's pretty cool. yesterday we sat down and read some wikipedia together.
My father used to refer to "trolling" as going around to pick up women with your cock hanging out of your pants.
Perhaps this book should have mentioned *that* code snippet.
What problem?
Engineering is the art of compromise.
Come on, this is SLASHDOT! We have no use for this! Dating, or even the thought of it, has no meaning in our vocabulary!
preferably male.
The one day the internet becomes entirely useless.
I feel like I'm back in 1990...
Do you want slashdot to post ANY april fool stories next year?
Yes / No / Only a digest of other AFs, a day later
Mod me up, not because I need the Karma, but to send a message. Enough is enough!
And if it's not annoying enough now, remember somebody may come across these stories in a few months. Public web content is forever (/robots.txt notwithstanding).
Ok, this is just gettin out of hand....
Enough already, we give!
Suuuuuuuuure, I really buy into this prank against the lonely geek.
doesn't screw up the main page into being all italics
However, I do not think OOP is very well-suited to this sort of thing. It's bad to treat women as objects.
Also, some girls are not into the whole "Gang of Four" idea... A lot of girls demand a Singleton pattern for any courtship situation.
Now I am SURE its April Fools , Dating and the Slashdot crowd........bwwwhaahaaaa
Here a hint for the Slashdot crowd, wisdom beyond wisdom, after being married to 2 knockouts , now Im off to my third, its easy follow Bill Cosbys tips, GO FOR THE UGLY CHICKS ! Theyre horny, youre guarenteed to score and all you have to is cover their head with a bag.
By AC.
1) Find a moderatly pretty woman.
2) Ask them how they are
3) Ask them if they want coffee.
4) If they say "no," start at step 1, if they say "yes," continue.
5) on the way to coffee, say the following line. "Look, Coffee and conversation is great and all, but its a pre-cursor and we both know it. Ill get right to the point and save us both the hassle. I find you incredibly attractive, moreso then any other woman around here. (hell, they are all jealous, cant you tell?) Anyways, do you just want to go to a hotel or somethnig?
6) Majority will either say "no," "fuckoff," or the equivalent thereof. A few will say "yes."
7) if they say "yes," begin humping. if they say "no," start at step 1.
Repeat 1000 times.
> god
Dating god mode on.
> impulse 101
*BOW CHICKA BOW WOW*
http://www.b0g.org/wsnm/news.php?artc=11079&s=4e4d 68f7235b8ebf255ff79ec086e730
What you're looking for is probably the player guide
You know, if you actually tried to make it look real, it would be more funny.
Some of your section headings had correct capitalizations, others didn't. Almost as bad as michael's posts earlier today that were almost entirely in lowercase. Right off the bat you can tell it's a cheesy writeup.
This "it's so stupid we have to post it" mentality doesn't make me laugh, it makes me roll my eyes!
Yep... the ISBN number of 0974312002 checks out...
Amazon.com
Barnes & Noble (They recongize the number, but don't have it.)
CafePress.com
NerdBooks.com
Singleton... definately the Singleton pattern.
What geeks really want is a working (and easily maintainable) implementation.
Let me tell you that the IBM developerWorks Best Practices RedBook is definitely the publication you'll need.
Design patterns are great for high level architecure but when you need to get down to the nitty-gritty low level stuff it's best if you have the counsel of the experts.
...the editors of Slashdot were seen beating a dead horse at a local Michigan farm.
I always thought that this flick was the ultimate in "dating design patterns".
We all know the necessity of such a product.
I didn't read the article, but, come on, how useful can the book really be? If I wanted to date design patterns I'd have become a computer programmer!
'Boy, I sure wish there was an easier way to pick up women, like published API with code samples?'
Published API with code samples might be easy, but is it fun? A true geek will always go for utter randomness, complete unpredictability and total bafflement - how else will he be a geek?
http://efil.blogspot.com/
Why do so many web sites feel the need to waste everyone's time with idiotic April Fool's pranks like this stupid story?
April Fool's Day is the worst day of the year.
-Michael
Threshold RPG
And if released under the GPL, are they GNUd/Women?
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
"Customers who bought this book also bought:
...
Patterns of Enterprise Application Architecture by Martin Fowler (Author)"
Wow, think of building a whole dating architecture including stuff like Object-Relational Metadating Mapping Patterns or multilayer dating applications
/* AskOut returns "No" at least 90% of the time to the geek crowd and returns "Yes" at least 90% of the time for rich/ugly/bastard prixorz */
AskOut(MaritalStatus, FinancialStatus, BloodAlcoholContent, ModeOfTransportation)
/* Flattery returns mod points based on the proportional difference between AmountSpent and ActualPrice */
Flattery(Gift, AmountSpent, ActualPrice)
/* Servitude returns mod points based on effort required to do MenialTask, cost of project, and proportional to Buffness or lack thereof */
Servitude(MenialTask, Cost, BuffnessFactor)
/* Contrary to popular belief, your processor's clockspeed, RAM, or HDD size does not get you mod points. A perceived fixation with such stats can actually LOWER your points. */
How NOT to tell a joke:
Step 1. Make it really really long.
Step 2. Put the punchline in the beginning.
Operator, give me the number for 911!
Finally a woman who agrees with me! HEAD FIRST, movie and a dinner later. :P
it's on amazon.com
who knew. for once something unfunny on slashdot today that wasn't supposed to be a joke.
How many times...have you thought 'Boy, I sure wish there was an easier way to pick up women, like published API with code samples?
well, actually...
...you might want to check Amazon or Barnes & Noble. This ISBN checks out. The books is real. NOW who is the fool? :)
The Japanese already have a concept similar to this. It's called "Dating Sims". And they're not even an April's fool, they DO exist!
Why right a book? Just right a (wo)man page... -A
I just LOVE cmdrtaco's site! Especially the "fash" section, where I learned to cut the bottom off of an old shirt to use as a hair enhancement! Oh, and the "dance party" photos!
Of course, don't forget to read cmdrtaco's emails! Here you will discover how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... have a pizza party? A fash party? Go to the mall with all of your friends? Have a sleepover and call boys on the phone?
In short, if you haven't checked out cmdrtaco's site, you don't know what you're missing!
Totally proprietary, capricious for no reason other than change, and if you were ever actually exposed to the illogic of the raw source of their interface you would never think highly of them again.
It was a complete waste of the time required to write it and the paper required to print it. 'Cause I *know* the problem doesn't reside with *me*.
What's needed is a dating design pattern book for women about the GEEK platform. A book like that would detail the many benefits of GEEK, and also suggest where one would go to meet and mate with a GEEK.
Once a book like that is written, opening the eyes of females everywhere, this "dating" issue will be resolved.
Now, I have to get back to writing Linux device drivers for my TRS-80.
---anactofgod---
BTW, I don't want any backlash from so-called "female geeks" on the limited scope of my suggested book. I *know* it's April's Fools, so don't try to convince me that you exist on this, of all, days.
---anactofgod---
"Equal opportunity swindling - *that* is the true test of a sustainable democracy."
It's not a joke unless amazon is in on it.
We already have "man sex" !
1) Take care of your appearance, which means go to the gym and make sure that even if you have a gut, that it's at least obvious that you're someone who cares about your health and appearance. People are naturally wary of dating those who don't appear to take any pride in their appearance and health.
2) Don't assume that having a vagina means having no brain. Just because most girls are breeding stock, doesn't mean that there aren't plenty of girls who aren't. Some of the ones that seem to be breeding stock may in fact have a lot of intelligence and you can bring it out of them. Been there, done that.
3) Broaden your horizons. Get away from the computer and learn something that you find to be fun and that is accessible to girls who aren't computer geeks. I picked up bass and guitar for fun and found that a lot of college girls will at least give you a shot if you're good. Personally I don't care much, since my gf can beat me on guitar and hold her own on bass.
4) Don't jump right into a relationship. If you have a chance to have a casual sexual relationship with a girl, that's helpful for when you're ready to settle down. Experience is something most guys really need.
and...
5) Look for someone who is your equal, but not in your area of expertise. You don't want to risk a game of one upmanship. I'm wary of dating girls in my major (C.S.) for that reason. My current girlfriend is a musician.
Click here or a puppy gets stomped!
http://www.realdoll.com
It will be very clear soon that the Dating Design Patterns will become "Antipatterns."
The following algorithm would suffice in any situation:
Step 1 - Shower
Step 2 - Approach female
Step 3 - Do not talk about computers/programming/design patters/Java/OO
Step 4 - Say "Hi, what's your name?"
Step 5 - If rejected GOTO Step 2, BUT first check if Step 1 happened between 24 hours. If this is the case, GOTO Step 1.
Do not forget Step 1 - This is a must for females, I've heard...Follow this algorithm, and you'll be surprised at the results...
Esta es una firma en Espanol.
April Fools jokes work wonderfully when the people reading them assume they are jokes when the whole joke is that they're all real. Go search Amazon, trust me on this. As far as I can tell not one story on slashdot today has been fake.
How many times, when playing Dungeons and Dragons by yourself, or reading an RFC in the bed alone on a Friday night, have you thought 'Boy, I sure wish that slashdot would get over this April Fools nonsense. Or at least try a decent hoax and stop publishing these really poorly done "fake" news stories'
Moreover, doesn't it bother you that programming geeks, who advocate code reusability and open-sourcing have not come up with reusable successful solutions for commonly occurring problems and have not documented them?
Dead giveaway that this is an April Fool's joke.
Funny that Dungeons and Dragons was mentioned, because I met my first girlfriend playing AD&D. (We were both late-teens at the time.)
Methinks it is the person, not the activity, that needs to be examined...
Sigh
I have a mod point to burn, and it's *all* offtopic in here. And that's on topic in a 1-April kinda way. Nothing for me to do here.
My Karma: ran over your Dogma
StrawberryFrog
None of you guys can EVER get a date!
If I had known design patterns that worked.... why would I share them? This is one area where closed source is definitely favourable, Dawinian if you will....
Sex is like Air. It becomes really important when your not getting any.
$> man woman Segmentation fault (core dumped)
While thinking philosophically, we see problems in places where there are none. -Wittgenstein
from uh NOT ESR...
turns out there is a LARGE body of very useful info online -- (and nerds can appreciate it.. unlike most "how to get laid for shy people" crap the methods are largely empirical/scientific -- you can read many tips/strategies with groundings in tested hypotheses and psych, NLP, etc. then read real stories of people who have tried them and succeeded). check it out, nothing to lose, except some wrist muscle, right?
(usenet) alt.seduction.fast
Pickup Guide - http://www.pickupguide.com
Fast Seduction 101 - http://www.fastseduction.com
good luck, happy bangin'... this stuff works. it talks about basic rules on how to carry yourself, body language, what to say to women and how to say it, basic attitudes, lots of war stories. interesting read at the very least
$> man woman
Segmentation fault (core dumped)
While thinking philosophically, we see problems in places where there are none. -Wittgenstein
public class Geek implements Acne, Drool { public boolean getLaid() { Woman woman; boolean foundWoman = false; /* Find a potential date */
while(!foundWoman) {
woman = findWoman();
if(woman != null) foundWoman = true;
} /* Go out on a date */
if(requestDate(woman) == Woman.ANSWER_NO) {
return false;
} /* Ask her back to your place */
if(askComeHome(woman) == Woman.ANSWER_NO) {
return false;
} /* Try and get laid */
if(askForSex(woman) == Woman.ANSWER_NO) {
return false;
} else {
panic("Still a virgin");
}
}
}
The first probelm with this algorithm is that the findWoman() method for the Geek class is NP-Complete ;-)
Is actually an expensive catch. He let me have a ride once, just to see how it was. I made sure to wash her thingie out with bleach first, though.
Excuse my horrible english.
I think it might be a good book for all of us who is stuck in the singleton pattern. But as someone stated earlier it might be a bad idea to treat a women as an object, but it might be a somewhat correct way to look at her as a factory that produces a different object depending on the object that calls her. The produced object will be a using the template pattern from the caller and the factory. By this we might conclude that we are not written in java, as multiple inheritance is impossible there (if we don't use inner classes with crosslevel inheritance).
So, for dating, and to finally be able to get to use the factory we should probably use the strategy pattern combined with the visitor pattern. The visitor pattern to see if the factory will accept us, and some strategy depending on what kind of factory we are visiting. Using a facade pattern to give the correct appearance might be useful. Decorator pattern is also a pattern that might be a good thing to use.
When the object has started to come together and the time live together comes it might be a good idea to do it using the mediator pattern and a memento to be able to undo commands that went bad. Do not forget the Observer pattern to run some compliment or maybe some other good code anytime there is a change. Preferably in a separate thread as you do not want it to interfere with your important main dutys.
I immediately flip to the chapter on accessing "ports" ?
It's a plain old 101 key!
It's perfect! I always wanted a keyboard like that. Every key in it's place.
Yep, due to geeks failure at understanding dating, they have to rely on the "Gang of Five" (aka Rosy Palm).
Better be careful with those-- you might end up cloning or producing something via a prototype pattern. In fact to maximize interaction, yet remain your own man, best to use the tried and true "visitor" pattern.
"Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a fat white guy who is threatened by change."
As far as I can tell not one story on slashdot today has been fake.
This one checks out as many online book sellers list it. Most of the others are fakes though.
HH
--
How many times, when playing Dungeons and Dragons by yourself... I dunno...I'm a big D&D fan, to be sure, and I like playing Dungeons and Dragons. But...by myself? Are you serious? Is it even possible to play D&D by yourself, barring playing a D&D based computer game which doesn't really count? If so, how? I'd be interested to know. It'd give me a lot (okay, one) more option on what to do on a Saturday night. And one is still a lot--it'd be a one hundred percent increase over my options otherwise.
You are not Mr. Party Duuuuude who makes women wet with his handsome, charming, irresponsible, spontaneous, manipulative, deceitful appeal.
You are Mr. Right. Or at least you will be when you have a steady job and lots of money.
Girls don't want sex with you. They want meaningless sex with Stiffler until they decide they want a husband. Then they want your wallet, your wisdom, your maturity, and your emotional supportiveness (which comes naturally from years of private deal-making... "If I had a girl, I'd treat her so good... not like that asshole who actually gets the girls!").
What's this review doing on /.?
...whining about how no women want you because you're a geek does.
To all you whiners, if you want to get laid, I highly recommend getting over yourselves already.
Just trying to help. Flame away.
tokengeekgrrl
Why would I want to date a design pattern? Is this an April Fool's joke? Huh?
Tsunami -- You can't bring a good wave down!
Brussels, April 1st
The European comprtition commission has ruled that women should disclose their API and interoperability secrets to competitors. This should protect innovation, a source said.
Ironclad Security only exists when you have Chuck Norris on the shift. Do we really have to discuss this? (Plutonite)
I have no problem picking up women, in fact, I have to beat them off with a stick. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am gay?
The above is equivalent to:
do
{ steps 2-6 }
while (moon_is_not_blue or hell_is_not_frozen);
A funny April Fools story! It took a while. Thanks, timothy.
The only reason we have the rights we have is that people just like us died to gain those rights. -- Cheerio Boy
The problem that most guys have is that they don't understand women and thus have no clue to be what they want (hint: asking them directly and following suit will not work). However, this article says in two pages exactly what is expected for men to be datable. Women wont ever willingly admit that the jerk attatude attracts them, but most of us sensitive guys have seen this occur first hand.
And, when meeting someone new, the key will always be confidence. You can wear a clown suit, but if you are clam, witty and confident, then it wont make a difference.
Only dead fish swim with the stream...
Dating Design Patterns, with a cover suspiciously similar to Design Patterns by the Gang of Four, is the first attempt to bring verified solutions to common problems in the world of dating.
:-)
Look, just writing this thing in the first place PROVES that some folks will never quite get it.
The trick isn't to get more geeky, y'know.
If Nalgene water bottles are outlawed, only outlaws will have Nalgene water bottles.
If you read this book, then look no further for the explanation--this is why nobody wants to date you.
Whoa there, partner, warn us about those links! Maybe if your writing was better we could figure out that you're linking to her "pro" pictures!
There will be vol 1...2...3..50....456789.... and still will need to add more volumes... why ? Women are allllllll different people!!!!!
We lived together for 4 years. She steadily turned to the geekside. Now she's moving out and taking my Xbox and ST:NG collection with her!
Dialectician. Archology.
I patent the process of playing follow-me follow-you all night at a bar, then, when everybody is loitering around after closing, giving that long and lingering last glance, then smuggly walk ing away while simultaneously telling yourself that you could have had your target any time that night, but you realized hours ago that they were probably beneath you (even though you kept following them for the rest of the night).
(It's good to be the bouncer, the night gets all sorts of ironic when the lights come on. 8-)
Innocent people shouldn't be forced to pay for inferior software development.
--"Code Complete" Microsoft Press
don't try to hit me with some problem solving or start line techniques that are in a book!
:)
a technique that might work bettter on hitting female (geek)s: be yourself - and funny and smart.
you don't have necessarily even get to go anywhere to a place new or too not-online for you. my honey found me actually on a computer board. and his being funny and smart was enough for me.
I think this is a nice recursive joke. Posted on April Fool's Day, a ridiculous premise for a book. Everyone thinking they wouldn't be fooled believes it's a fake. When the book is actually real. See it on Amazon, Softpro, etc. Gotta love logic.
I'll tell you... Even this doesn't work... I'm thinking on killing myself...
I worked (briefly) for an online bookseller carrying this title. Since the author published it independently, I couldn't rely on the usual sources to find cover art to thumbnail. As a conseqence, I had to contact the author directly in my attempts to obtain the cover art.
She was very nice; but I can certainly see why she had difficulty finding a publisher when insisting on this particular title.
MacOS, Windows, BeOS, GNOME, KDE: they're all just Xerox copies
Sounds rather tedious to me.
Why not find somebody you like to be around and who likes to be around you and let nature take its course?
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
...are there more mod points being thrown out to people today in order to distribute 'Funny' ratings to responses to the front page editorials?
plug and play?
(runs, ducks, hides)
putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
I am very suspicious that your comment is knee-jerk based on thinking of people who annoy you, and not actually going to be very helpful.. how many geeks, who whine about women not wanting them, would you want if they _just_ stopped whining about that? I think that this is rarely, if ever, the primary factor that drives women away--more likely it's just one that you mentioned because it annoys you.. not because you thought it through and decided it's actually the primary factor that made you feel a lack of attraction to any guys. (Aggravated by them, sure--but deciding "I would really be attracted to them if it weren't for the whining", I think is extremely rare.)
It surely gets on my nerves when girls whine about how ugly and unlikeable they are, just as it gets on your nerves when guys whine about being undesirable because they're geeks. However I can think of very few women (off the top of my head, only one) where this is actually her worst feature, and where other than the insecurity and whining, she isn't that bad (she's bright and very cute, for what those are worth). Most women I know who whine like that, have many other unattractive features which would continue to drive men away in the absence of their whining. Yeah, I'd feel less irritated if they stopped, so it'd make ME happier, but it wouldn't honestly do a hell of a lot for their chances of finding a mate. And from years of observation of insecure people and how they're responded to by others around them, I suspect it's similar with the guys you're thinking of. They aren't wrong in saying that women don't like them because they're a geek--you just get aggravated by the whining, like almost everyone does, and want them to shut up.
So yeah, if you whine about that kind of stuff, stop whining for the sake of everyone else's nerves.. or at least find a limited forum to restrict it to (e.g. geek communities), rather than broadcasting it without constraints to the entire world. But if anyone tells you the whining is the main reason you're not getting dates.. in my experience (where I saw people saying this to other people, so could be at least somewhat objective about interpreting it), they're usually telling you a line of BS because they're aggravated by the whining and just want you to shut up.
And being a geek, specifically, turns off a LOT of women, all the more so if you have traits of Asperger's, which are common in geeks and more or less defined as difficulty in communicating and relating to people on emotional levels. As far as I've seen from girls, throughout adolesence and into college age, geekisms turn off the majority of women, unless you have a glowing personality to make up for it, although there is a significant minority of women who don't mind so much, which I think grows quickly (the size of that minority) as women age through their 20s and beyond.
But i'm not so desperate i'd want to date design patterns.
However, if you talk to any randomly selected groups of men, you will discover that the problems they face...
If you talk to randomly selected groups of men, you will find that some of us ARE PICKING UP GUYS INSTEAD.
Heterosexist dweebs... of course, since we generally actually get laid when we want, I guess you'd rather not think about it
man, oh man, you are the hopeless idealist ...
mount with care.
I was a flop at dating until age 26, when I developed a method, which turned out to be pretty effective. Everyone I know who has tried this method has reported success, and quite a few have tried it.
Some years ago, I wrote it up as a book, but decided recently not to sell it, and have instead placed the entire method online for free download.
I suspect that it will work for most anyone. It is known to work for guys wanting to get a girlfriend, and it is known to work for women wanting to get a boyfriend. It has no information whatsoever about how to get along with a girlfriend once you've got one.
It is also, in my humble opinion, a fun and interesting read. You can find the free "Sweetheart Report: How to Get a Girlfriend (or a Boyfriend)" here:
http://www.24metro.com/library/sweetheart_report
If you have no difficulties nor shyness with women, please pass the info along to some of your friends who find themselves lonlier than they'd like to be.
-- Arthur Cronos, aka Lloyd Baxter, aka The Bloggard (http://bloggard.com)
== buddha is as buddha does ==
A year ago, I was an unattractive, worthless, pathetic geek with horrible self-image issues. But, in the last year, I have had women throw themselves at me, beg me to be their boyfriend, etc. I can have a date whenever I want, just by walking up to a cute girl (admittedly, sometimes it takes three or four) and striking up a small conversation. I can get laid basically whenever I feel like it, by girls I don't even know, or girls I do know, or both. I am not bragging (I'm posting A/C), I'm telling you, it is possible to change, and more than that, IT IS ACTUALLY MUCH EASIER THAN YOU THINK TO GET WOMEN!.
I didn't read this book, but I know for a fact you can actually make a DATING ALGORITHM that will basically get you laid/get a girlfriend whenever you want, because I have such an algorithm. It is so easy and simple to do that in fact you might find that dating/picking up girls become BORING and you may wish that you could be niave and desperate again. That is how I feel sometimes.
I am sure there are a lot of people here that feel like dating/getting laid is difficult. In fact, it is so easy that you wouldn't believe it. The biggest thing stopping you is your fear of rejection. Did you know that so many girls, even very cute ones, NEVER get asked out. Especially on a "real" date? They will be EXCITED and HAPPY that you have put the EFFORT into asking them out, if you do it with any class whatsoever. And, it doesn't hurt to get rejected, especially by someone you don't know that well. A lot of "hot" guys don't get the girls they want because they are pussies just like you, worried about the consequences of getting rejected. But, there are really no negative consequences.
Girls WILL NOT generally come up to you and make moves on you, because they are even more scared of rejection than you are. You have to make all the moves! Many girls will go out of their way to hide the fact that they like you. My advice is to take ANY positive response from a girl as if she is saying "okay, I'm starting to like you more and more." For example, does she tell you that she likes your shirt? She likes YOU, dummy, at least a little. Does she divert her eyes down when you try to make eye contact with her? She is embarrased because SHE IS ATTRACTED TO YOU, dummy!
Women care less about your physical appearence than you care about yours. They care a lot more about your attitude and the way you carry yourself. The #1 quality that girls like about me is my confidence. I talk to them like I don't care that they are cute or not. I call them names. I talk about other girls with them. I act cocky. Girls are amazed by this because I have a supermodel attitude but I am not even close to being a supermodel. I believe the reason that they like confident men has a lot to do with the fact that women often have bad feelings about their image (especially appearence). So, they subconciously want me (you!) to teach them how to feel good about themselves like you do.
But, how do you get this confidence? Well, it is easy: PRETEND TO BE CONFIDENT. You will see that people treat you better. Then, you will be more confident. Gradually, you will actually BECOME confident. Also, WORK TO FIX YOUR SELF IMAGE ISSUES. Stay well groomed. Make sure you smell good (e.g. if you are fat, you might need to show more than once a day, sorry). Wear clean clothes. Be as fashionable as you can stand to be. People (WOMEN!) will notice this. Are you fat? Then excersise. Even if you don't lose much weight, you will feel good about yourself and you will be in better shape. Girls will notice both of those things. Are you too skinny? Lift some fucking weights! Those huge guys in the weightroom with you are not scary, they are mostly nice guys. They generally won't even notice you are in there. It is just you, making yourself better. So DO IT! Too much acne? Go to your doctor, he will fix it? Your doctor didn't do a good job? Go to a dermatologist, they will definitely (over 95% of the time) fix it. Yellow teeth? If you can scrape up $300, you can hav
..you insensitive clod!
For example, the Iterator anti-pattern is described as "The nag. One of the most taxing on system resources. Also an anti-pattern when used to repeatedly ask the same woman for a date."
That's called the "Poll" anti-pattern, you insensitive clod.
The man has taste and the personality to carry it out.
Hell, my GF was all a flutter and he never even tried to pick her up or hit on her. Whatever you think of his appearance he seems to have one of those "Make women melt" vibes. (And no, she does not get "All a flutter" for guys other than me very often.)
Of course, she is a Geek girl in her MAC way, so that may have been a factor.
"Live Free or Die." Don't like it? Then keep out of the USA
Rules for getting laid
1. Go ugly early
2. lower your standards
3. And remember every girl looks good sucking your dick!
STOP READING /.
Step 1.5 - Dress.
Recipe for root access to the female mind.
1. Take a bunch of guys wanting to get laid.
2. Have them observe guys who are successful with women. ( and what doesn't work)
3. Have them go out in the field and try their own ideas too.
4. Obssesively test out these patterns of behavior, and discuss results on the internet
Result: http://www.fastseduction.com
the last D&D game i was in my girlfriend invited me to. But that entire thing turned out to be a bad idea, she broke up with me and is now with the rouge .
Tip 1: Don't go to slashdot for dating advice.
Tip 2: Any article that mentions Dungeons and Dragons and Dating in the same sentence is obviously useless.
Tip 3: Turn off your computer.
HOW TO GET BABES -- A GUIDE FOR GEEKS
t babes.htm
Take it from an expert, here's how to get the babes:
1. Show them your T1 lines and your modifications to the Linux kernel -- they'll be very impressed.
2. Grunt when they say anything to you -- remember, avoid eye contact at all costs.
3. Never leave your home -- any babes worthy of your attention will come knocking on your door.
4. Surf the net for porn, so you know what real women should look like.
5. Test whether they really love you; never, ever shave or shower.
6. Don't exercise -- the weak, pudgy mess that you are will evoke maternal feelings of sympathy.
7. Be their knight in shining armor, help them with their school work/computers -- they'll fall in love with
you instantly.
8. If they talk to you, it means that they love you.
9. Remember, girls always prefer email to real mail.
10. Sitting three seats behind them on the bus is a good start.
11. Become a billioniare -- trade money for babes.
12. Write the next, killer software app -- your fame will draw them to you.
13. Remember, what's cool to your geek friends is cool to babes too.
14. Always be practical and logical. Tell her "Why can't you be more rational?" when she has one of those
moods again.
15. Make them understand that you are more evolved than that hunky football star.
16. Declare that you are homosexual -- that never fails to interest them; pounce when guard is down.
17. Babes always go for the stronger man -- duke it out over a game of Quake.
18. Write a geeky web page.
19. Use mnemonics to aid communication e.g. Hello == main(){, Goodbye == }
20. Increase your "reproductive fitness" -- become the Alpha geek of your pack
21. The woman you're talking to on the net really is female and most likely a babe -- and remember,
cybersex is as good as real sex.
Originally from Shuo-yen's web site at http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/sc110/howtoge