In Japan, Old People Talk to Robots

How to react? by kahei · 2004-12-01 23:02 · Score: 5, Funny

Should I:

a) Weep for the millions of human tragedies that must have taken place to lead so many to this extreme of loneliness and general patheticness, or...

b) Laugh because it's called 'Snuggling Ifbot'?

Eh, I'll go for b). Hee hee hee... 'snuggling ifbot'... hee hee hee...

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Whence? Hence. Whither? Thither.

Re:How to react? by mordors9 · 2004-12-02 00:49 · Score: 1

I think we need to find out where the robot lobby gets their budget. We had all of those shotgun wielding, machine gun wielding robot stories. They must have become concerned that we were getting a negative impression of their intent. So now we get the warm cuddy side of robots... puhleeze. I hope we all can see through this.
Re:How to react? by Ingolfke · 2004-12-02 01:20 · Score: 1

I just had the horrible mental image of an elderly Japanese man spooning with a large talking robot. Horrifying.
Re:How to react? by danila · 2004-12-02 03:20 · Score: 1

To those not smart or educated enough to recognize the reference, much less understand it, (including two moderators), the parent post was supposed to be an example showing that even two centuries ago some people were not exactly thrilled about taking care about elders for indefinite periods of time, even when these elders didn't routinely live to 100 years. And anyone, who implies that giving old people companion robots is heartless and a sign of terrible times we live in, is nothing more than a stupid luddite.

--
Future Wiki -- If you don't think about the future, you cannot have one.
Re:How to react? by ChreodeRiot · 2004-12-02 05:03 · Score: 1

hahahaha snuggles!!!!

So is the name in english, just like that? I mean it wasn't translated into "ifbot", was it?

If so, maybe the translater needs one of those rob..ifbots!
Re:How to react? by kahei · 2004-12-02 08:36 · Score: 1

Could you tell me who it's by? Googling for the lines didn't turn anything up. As the grandparent poster I and my small companionship robot have a right to know...

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Whence? Hence. Whither? Thither.
Re:How to react? by fbjon · 2004-12-02 11:57 · Score: 1

Actually, it's supposed to be 'elsebot'.

--
True confidence comes not from realising you are as good as your peers, but that your peers are as bad as you are.
Re:How to react? by G-funk · 2004-12-02 14:41 · Score: 1

I welcome my robot anti senilty overlords...

In soviet russia....

In korea....

Now in japan old people talk to robots....

It's really becoming a lot like fark in here. I miss the days of beowulf clusters and hot grits. Simpler times.

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Send lawyers, guns, and money!
Re:How to react? by danila · 2004-12-02 17:13 · Score: 1

Why, of course. :) It's from Eugeny Onegin by A. S. Pushkin (the famous novel in verse). Google didn't work because that translation was by a relatively unknown author Dennis Litoshick. More familiar to most English readers (and to Google) would probably be the translation by Charles H. Johnston:
My uncle -- high ideals inspire him;
but when past joking he fell sick,
he really forced one to admire him --
and never played a shrewder trick.
Let others learn from his example!
But God, how deadly dull to sample
sickroom attendance night and day
and never stir a foot away!
And the sly baseness, fit to throttle,
of entertaining the half-dead:
one smoothes the pillows down in bed,
and glumly serves the medicine bottle,
and sighs, and asks oneself all through:
When will the devil come for you?
Both of them are available on Lib.Ru, the Russian online library. There are many English (and other) translations. Douglas Hofstader, who made one translation himself, wrote about this in the introduction to Russian edition of GEB. Here is an excerpt from his version:
My uncle, matchless moral model.
When deathly ill, learned how to make
His friends respect him. bow and coddle
Of all his ploys, that takes the cake.
To others, this might teach a lesson:

But Lord above, I'd fed such stress in
Having to sit there night and day.
Daring not once to step away.
Plus, I'd say. Its hypocritical
To keep the half-dead's spirlts bright.
To plump his plilows till they're right,
Fetch his pills with tears veridical
Yet in secret to wish and sigh.
'Hurry, dear Uncle, up and die!'
Here is another one by Yevgeny Bonver (incomplete):
My uncle, of the best traditions,
When being almost deceased,
Forced men to treat him with distinction,
Which was the best of his ideas.
Yes, his example - to us for learning,
But, Heavens, how it is boring
To sit with him all day and night,
Not having right to step aside!
What a deplorable deception
To entertain the man, half-dead,
To fix a pillow in his bed,
To give him drugs with sad attention,
To sigh and think in deeps of heart:
When will the deuce take you apart?
I am not giving the original Russian text here, but you can ask your nearest Russian friend and he/she will probably easily recite this particular verse (or more) from memory. :)

--
Future Wiki -- If you don't think about the future, you cannot have one.

Not very large by Anonymous Coward · 2004-12-01 23:02 · Score: 5, Funny

How will it push anyone down the stairs?

Re:Not very large by ZaMoose · 2004-12-02 00:00 · Score: 4, Informative

It's not often that The Terrible Secret of Space gets made into a joke on /. Bravo, AC!

Everyone else, beware of the Pusher Robot, he is not to be trusted. I, the Shover Robot am here to save you!

--
I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep Dracula and Superman away.
Re: Not very large by Alwin+Henseler · 2004-12-02 00:06 · Score: 1

"How will it push anyone down the stairs?"
Simple: just program it to pick a strategic location. What's this rubble doing he....$#!*&@^
Too bad she won't live... But then again, who does?
Re:Not very large by danila · 2004-12-02 00:52 · Score: 1

And then there was this, and this and the same joke is repeated in basically the same story about home robots. I never saw that crappy movie, TV series, a comic or whatever it is, but even I was already able to guess that there was some robot that pushed old people down the stairs. Get over that, please, will you? This is a tired old unfunny joke already. Enough is enough.

--
Future Wiki -- If you don't think about the future, you cannot have one.
Re:Not very large by Anonymous Coward · 2004-12-02 01:22 · Score: 2, Informative

It is a bit sad that you did not link to the original ICQ prank (from somethingawful.com that the flash movie you linked to was based upon: somethingawful.com.
It is much better :)
Re:Not very large by ZaMoose · 2004-12-02 02:56 · Score: 1

The original ICQ prank is, indeed, quite funny, but it lacks the Japanesque weirdness inherent in the Flash animation it spawned. In a story about Japanese robots for old people, I'd think the movie was more appropriate...

--
I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep Dracula and Superman away.
Re:Not very large by mekkab · 2004-12-02 04:43 · Score: 1

to combine cliche memes:

In korea, only old people have stairs in their house and know the terrible secret of space.

--
In the future, I would want to not be isolated from my friends in the Space Station.
Re:Not very large by Jucius+Maximus · 2004-12-02 07:57 · Score: 1

"How will it push anyone down the stairs?"
Japanese people are smaller. Duh.

rather than forcing it to use it's AI for conversa by way2trivial · 2004-12-01 23:03 · Score: 2, Interesting

tion, why not use the thing as a giant physical IM client? when you speak to it, have it relay whatever it hears to one of it's soon to be overlord cousins, kinda at random..

sure makes it easier to pass a turing test...

--
every day http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random

Sounds familiar... by koi88 · 2004-12-01 23:03 · Score: 5, Funny

Sounds like a 5600$ version of Eliza.

--

I don't need a signature.

Re:Sounds familiar... by c0dedude · 2004-12-01 23:14 · Score: 4, Funny

Why does it sound like a 5600$ version of Eliza?

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Since when has this country used intellectual elite as a pejorative term?
Re:Sounds familiar... by TuringTest · 2004-12-01 23:16 · Score: 2, Funny

Can you elaborate on that?

--
Singularity: a belief in the "God" idea with the "demiurge" relation inverted.
Re:Sounds familiar... by Zorilla · 2004-12-01 23:21 · Score: 3, Funny

Haha, by far the funniest line I've ever heard in Dr. Sbaitso is when my brother typed in, "I CAN THROW POOP"

Dr. Sbaitso: "CAN YOU THROW POOP FOR ME NOW?"

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It would be cool if it didn't suck.
Re:Sounds familiar... by Black+Handle · 2004-12-01 23:25 · Score: 1

ALICE = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity http://alice.pandorabots.com/
Re:Sounds familiar... by TuringTest · 2004-12-01 23:58 · Score: 1

Um, Tell me your definition of AI.

--
Singularity: a belief in the "God" idea with the "demiurge" relation inverted.
Re:Sounds familiar... by TuringTest · 2004-12-02 00:00 · Score: 2, Funny

Do you wish that you had mod points right now youd get modded up?

--
Singularity: a belief in the "God" idea with the "demiurge" relation inverted.
Re:Sounds familiar... by ocelotbob · 2004-12-02 00:00 · Score: 1

dude, the sound that joke made when it whizzed over your head was kinda cool. Play with eliza a bit and you will soon forehead fwap with enlightenment.

--
Marxism is the opiate of dumbasses
Re:Sounds familiar... by Burb · 2004-12-02 00:14 · Score: 1

Please tell me more...

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Re:Sounds familiar... by opusman · 2004-12-02 00:27 · Score: 1

We were discussing me, not you.
Re:Sounds familiar... by waterbear · 2004-12-02 00:29 · Score: 2, Interesting

Why does it sound like a 5600$ version of Eliza?

Old people often have failing memories and need tools that remind them of specifics. One thing they would need above all out of a machine like this (if they can get over the shock of the idea of looking to a machine for this kind of help anyway) would be intelligent prompting, with specific words or items that they are likely to have forgotten.

I agree the description makes this robot sound like an expensive 'Eliza'. If reflecting and being vague rather than specific prompting is really what it will do, then it's going to be specially useless to the elderly.

-wb-
Re:Sounds familiar... by Sunnan · 2004-12-02 00:36 · Score: 1

Old people often have failing memories and need tools that remind them of specifics. One thing they would need above all out of a machine like this (if they can get over the shock of the idea of looking to a machine for this kind of help anyway) would be intelligent prompting, with specific words or items that they are likely to have forgotten.

Is it because would be intelligent prompting with specific words or
items that they are likely to have forgotten that you came to me?

I agree the description makes this robot sound like an expensive 'Eliza'. If reflecting and being vague rather than specific prompting is really what it will do, then it's going to be specially useless to the elderly.

Why do you say that?
Re:Sounds familiar... by waterbear · 2004-12-02 00:58 · Score: 1

Old people often have failing memories and need tools that remind them of specifics.

What I should have said to be more specific, is that the failure often is about _recall from memory_. External supply of a specific prompt, maybe sometimes a single word, can trigger recall and release of a flood of associated momories, often very valuable ones.

I've sometimes wondered why 'Eliza' can have any ring of plausibility at all, as it can seem to have in spite of its obvious defect of emptiness. Maybe it is that in talking to a real-life counsellor, there can be a phase that looks superficially like the empty wandering that 'Eliza' does. (But then the real person will hopefully home in intelligently on something as a prompt, and produce something to the point about it, and all resemblance to Eliza is at an end.)

-wb-
Re:Sounds familiar... by FireFury03 · 2004-12-02 01:19 · Score: 1

$5600? But you can buy a RealDoll for that! :)

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http://blog.nexusuk.org
Re:Sounds familiar... by Zorilla · 2004-12-02 01:36 · Score: 1

For a while, that program was broken, too. The only thing it would run on was this proprietary IBM expansion slot (MSA?) Sound Blaster 2.0 in a docking station for a laptop. I was ecstatic to find out it worked in VDMSound (for 2000/XP).

Plus, for anybody who remembers TRAN.COM, the PC speaker-utilizing text-to-speech program from the 80s, DOSBox seems to run that just about as well as it ran natively (some issues with playing too slow also occured on the 286/386). I think I enjoyed it way too much doing things like typing, "I'm going to get you, sucka! pppppppppppppppppppp" Just because the repetitive "P" sounds formed a machine gun effect.

My brother and I still go around telling eachother "I beleive you are miss-tacken".

It's strange all the weird inside jokes I've had with friends and family. I was surprised that there was one that propagated pretty far in high school. If you've ever seen that Bill Gates hit by a pie video, you'd understand it. If not, weird looks ensue. Basically, it got to the point where one person would shout to someone else across the quad during a break, "UnstrammanaBillGates!" and the other person would reply "Mah mit pullon!"

"UnstrammanaBillGates" was a catch phrase my junior year in high school. It got pretty carried away.

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It would be cool if it didn't suck.
Re:Sounds familiar... by jeffy210 · 2004-12-02 03:26 · Score: 1

Freakiest thing that ever happened with Dr. Sbaitso was in middle school. We had it hooked up to a good pair of speakers and were making it say all sorts of things. Well one of my friends typed something bad and attempted to cover the speakers with his hands. Dr. Sbaitso replied "Get your hands off of me!" Needless to say we promptly backed away then turned off the system.

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"And may your days be long upon the earth."
Re:Sounds familiar... by XSforMe · 2004-12-02 03:26 · Score: 1

To all of us longing for the cheaper version:

http://www-ai.ijs.si/eliza/eliza.html

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My other OS is the MCP!
Re:Sounds familiar... by AviLazar · 2004-12-02 04:15 · Score: 1

pr A.L.I.C.E. Almost got her to do some kinky stuff for me once.

--

I mod down so you can mod up. Your welcome.
Re:Sounds familiar... by mwood · 2004-12-02 04:16 · Score: 1

Yeah, my first thought was, "they put Doctor/Eliza in a can."

Now, if they can add some pattern *creation* then they'll have something really special.

Person: I'm bored.
Robot: You enjoy talking with $FRIEND. You two haven't visited in several weeks. Maybe $GOOD_TIME would be a good time to telephone him/her today.

Person: I'm bored.
Robot: What would you like to do? You enjoy playing go. Do you know someone who would like to play today?

or even:

Person: I'm bored.
Robot: Have you cleaned the kitchen recently?
Re:Sounds familiar... by flyingsquid · 2004-12-02 05:35 · Score: 1

A robot that prompts you to get outside, enjoy social interactions, and occasionally clean the house?
Hm, have they considered making one for the /. crowd?
Re:Sounds familiar... by fbjon · 2004-12-02 12:38 · Score: 1

Sounds interesting, but it seems it's called TRAN.EXE.. took me some time to find it. On the same page is also an interesting oldsk00l christmas card thing.

--
True confidence comes not from realising you are as good as your peers, but that your peers are as bad as you are.
Re:Sounds familiar... by bot24 · 2004-12-02 16:07 · Score: 1

Not as good as when the English version of this thing comes out. "Who does all of our base belong too?" "All your base are belong to us."

Snuggling Ifbot? by deletedaccount · 2004-12-01 23:03 · Score: 5, Funny

Great name to go senile with. That's the kind of name I want around when I'm 85 and dribbling, "you seen the snuggling ifbot today son?"

Re:Snuggling Ifbot? by valdean · 2004-12-02 06:27 · Score: 2, Funny

Dream Supply passed up a golden opportunity to name it Mr. Roboto.
Robot (sounding like Ned on South Park): Errrmm..... nice job on quiz.
Elderly Owner: Oh, domo arigato, Mr. Roboto!

I am not a doctor by nick+korma · 2004-12-01 23:04 · Score: 2, Insightful

but how could this possibly be used to combat the onset of senility?? I can understand how the robot could be used to teach children or adults another language but old people telling the ipod that they are bored will not do anything to stop them forgetting where they live or where they left the car...

Re:I am not a doctor by Max+Romantschuk · 2004-12-01 23:08 · Score: 5, Insightful

but how could this possibly be used to combat the onset of senility?

Studies have shown that passively sitting around not talking to anyone all day doesn't exactly help your brain keep in shape. (You have to exercise it, you know? Seriously.)

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.: Max Romantschuk :: http://max.romantschuk.fi/
Re:I am not a doctor by Zentac · 2004-12-01 23:10 · Score: 4, Funny

I am no doctor ether, but I'm aware of the general asumption, with medical proof wich I am not femilliar with, that you can train the brain and that keeping it busy will help not getting senile
Re:I am not a doctor by nick+korma · 2004-12-01 23:11 · Score: 5, Funny

in which case I really need to move out of my nice quiet server room and interact with the rest of my office - before one day ............ where am I... why have I got no pants on...
Re:I am not a doctor by clickety6 · 2004-12-02 00:30 · Score: 1

Studies have shown that passively sitting around not talking to anyone all day doesn't exactly help your brain keep in shape.

That explains the majority of the posts on Slashdot then.

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----------------------------------- My Other Sig Is Hilarious -----------------------------------
Re:I am not a doctor by julesh · 2004-12-02 02:24 · Score: 1

Studies have shown that passively sitting around not talking to anyone all day doesn't exactly help your brain keep in shape. (You have to exercise it, you know? Seriously.)

I understand that playing chess is considered as one of the best remedies for this problem. Chess computers are cheap.
Re:I am not a doctor by RealProgrammer · 2004-12-02 03:44 · Score: 1

Obviously, you're not a doctor. All real doctors know that you're not senile if you forget where your car is; you're senile if you can find the keys to the sofa.

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sigs, as if you care.
Re:I am not a doctor by Ralconte · 2004-12-02 04:41 · Score: 1

I figure its similar to "memory books" given to Alzheimer patients. These are big print books, with photos pasted in, giving the patient their name, where they lived, children's photo and name, friend's photo and name, etc. The robot uses a date function to say, "Yes, its a rainy AUTUMN day", something someone in an apartment on a rainy day might forget. Hey, if a computerized calendar is a stupid function, answer this, do you never refer to the date at the bottom right hand of the screen?
This doesn't replace human contact, just provides it during the daytime, you know, when most not retired people are at work.
Re:I am not a doctor by saigon_from_europe · 2004-12-02 05:33 · Score: 1

You have to exercise it
Robot will ask them "what is square root of 354324" and similar questions.

--
No sig today.
Re:I am not a doctor by phalse+phace · 2004-12-02 07:43 · Score: 1

That's why I just sit around all day and talk to myself.
Re:I am not a doctor by Ferzelic · 2004-12-02 18:42 · Score: 1

I am no doctor ether
Yeah, but wouldn't it be cool if you were?

Action, Adventure and Mystery in Doctor Ether and the Journey to the Hollow Earth!

hahaha what a laugh if... by tod_miller · 2004-12-01 23:05 · Score: 1, Interesting

We hacked tham all to convince them they are mad, and to place all thier assets in our care!

Ooops, scarey thought, what if someone actually did this? Robo identities with an ulterior motive!

What if someone goes senile, and leaves all thier assets to the robot?

Come to think of it, why did I think this was funny... more like insightful!

*adjust ancient-korean tinfoil hat*

--
#hostfile 0.0.0.0 primidi.com 0.0.0.0 www.primidi.com 0.0.0.0 radio.weblogs.com

Re:hahaha what a laugh if... by TFGeditor · 2004-12-02 00:16 · Score: 1

Agreed.

--
Ignorance is curable, stupid is forever.

I envisioned this way back by Max+Romantschuk · 2004-12-01 23:05 · Score: 2, Insightful

I decided way back that if technology allowed I'd want a virtual persona (themed like "Jeeves" in the English TV series) to keep track of things for me.

I'd love to be able to just look at any screen in the appartment and ask what I was supposed to do today, ask if there are any interesting news etc. A computer won't get bored with you asking for the nth time, and can alert someone if you don't take your medicine. If technology allows, why burden our children? They can come over to visit instead of taking care of you.

I'm not sure I'd want a robot though. Face-in-the-TV is more my style. Think Max Headroom, only with class ;)

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.: Max Romantschuk :: http://max.romantschuk.fi/

Re:I envisioned this way back by RealProgrammer · 2004-12-01 23:51 · Score: 1
- If technology allows, why burden our children?
Because they deserve it, the sniveling little ingrates!
--
sigs, as if you care.
Re:I envisioned this way back by delibes · 2004-12-02 01:39 · Score: 1

I recently borrowed a book from the local library called How to clone the perfect blonde. It covers a few topical science subjects in a manner that's fairly easy to understand. I picked it up because of the title of course.
Excuses aside, it also contains a chapter called "How to build a domestic goddess". They call their domestic robot either a Jeeves or a Nigella. Hmm. I'm told she's way more popular in the States than here in the UK. A least there's a ready and waiting market for anyone who figures out how to build a Nigellabot.

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This is not a sig
Re:I envisioned this way back by kippy · 2004-12-02 03:45 · Score: 1

Wait, I thought Robots stole old people's medicine.

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Blaze a trail to the New World

In Japan... by tintub · 2004-12-01 23:06 · Score: 5, Funny

In Japan, sanity is talking to a robot called Snuggly Ifbot :-/

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sig under construction...

Re:In Japan... by lbmouse · 2004-12-02 01:30 · Score: 1

Best Bond line:
"In Japan, men come first."

Best Austin Powers Line:
AV: "Women come second."
AP: "...or not at all"

Like talking to Eliza? by tod_miller · 2004-12-01 23:08 · Score: 2, Funny

Why am I alone?

Why do you think you are alone?

Yes, but you are not alive though are you?

What makes you think that?

You are alive? OMG, what did they do to you?

Tell me more about why you think you are alone.

But you just said you are alive.

What makes you think I just said I was alive?

AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.

Lets watch tv and have some fun!

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#hostfile 0.0.0.0 primidi.com 0.0.0.0 www.primidi.com 0.0.0.0 radio.weblogs.com

Re:Like talking to Eliza? by julesh · 2004-12-01 23:47 · Score: 1

How about a nice game of chess?
Re:Like talking to Eliza? by Taladar · 2004-12-02 00:36 · Score: 1

Why Chess? Why not "Global Thermonuclear War"?

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Linux is not Windows
Re:Like talking to Eliza? by aurb · 2004-12-02 00:54 · Score: 1

Sounds more like that psychiatrist thing from emacs to me.
Re:Like talking to Eliza? by gameboyhippo · 2004-12-02 02:58 · Score: 1

Isn't this a lot like that silly emacs psychologist? Heck, does this thing run on emacs?

Guys you have it all wrong! by Agret · 2004-12-01 23:09 · Score: 1, Funny

You guys wrote:
In Japan, Old People Talk to Robots

No it's supposed to be:

In Japan ONLY Old People Talk to Robots

Kids these days can't even get the joke right!

--
Have you metaroderated recently?

Re:Guys you have it all wrong! by BJH · 2004-12-02 00:33 · Score: 1

No, no, no... you've got it all wrong. The proper title is:

Only Old People Talk to Robots... in JAPAN!

HTH, HAND.
Re:Guys you have it all wrong! by The-Bus · 2004-12-02 00:52 · Score: 1

Old People Talk to Robots... in Japan!

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Small potatoes make the steak look bigger.

Great. by CosmeticLobotamy · 2004-12-01 23:12 · Score: 2, Interesting

"If a person tells Snuggling Ifbot, "I'm bored today," the robot might respond, "Are you bored? What do you want to do?"

Whew. Thanks, Ifbot. You solved that problem. I don't know what I would have done without you.

Re:Great. by metlin · 2004-12-01 23:21 · Score: 2, Interesting

Funny, after watching Ghost in the Shell: Innocence, am not too sure about what people would do with these kinda robots.

On one hand, it's sad that people need robots to talk to, rather than each other. On the other hand, this is eerily reminiscent of Solaria in Asimov's books.

Oh wait, wasn't Solaria itself modeled on the Emperor-ruled Japan? Looks like some cultural influences never leave, they merely come to haunt the people in different disguises.
Re:Great. by limon.verde · 2004-12-02 09:48 · Score: 1

This is just like the robots a character (Richard) of the Rama series (by Arthur C. Clarke) makes to have companionship!

And in the rest of the world by mikeage · 2004-12-01 23:13 · Score: 1, Funny

In Soviet Russia, robots talk to old people
In Japan, old people talk to robots
In Korea, only the old people talk to robots.

I guess that means the English childrens version won't do so well in Korea...

--
-- Is "Sig" copyrighted by www.sig.com?

Re:And in the rest of the world by mikeage · 2004-12-01 23:53 · Score: 1

please ignore this post. The formatting was totally mangled, and I don't feel like rewriting it...

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-- Is "Sig" copyrighted by www.sig.com?
Re:And in the rest of the world by trash+eighty · 2004-12-02 00:00 · Score: 1

shouldn't that be

In Korea, only old people email robots?
Re:And in the rest of the world by tkg · 2004-12-02 02:09 · Score: 1

And in the US you can just talk to a republican. :)
Re:And in the rest of the world by fbjon · 2004-12-02 13:12 · Score: 1
Ok, here's the formula for you people:
- In [place], [noun1] [verb] to [noun2]. (where [place] must be former soviet or similar, 'to' may be omitted, and [noun2] can preferably be 'you')
- In [place], [noun2] [verb] to [noun1]. (where [place] must be asian, and [noun2] is exclusive if [place] is Korea)
Thus we get the (arbitrarily) combined formula:
- In [place3], ([only]) [place2] [noun1] [verb] to [noun2] [place1].
Which in this case gives:

"In Soviet Korea, only Japanese old people talk to you robot Russians!"

Please bookmark this for reference in next week's stories.
--
True confidence comes not from realising you are as good as your peers, but that your peers are as bad as you are.
Re:And in the rest of the world by blue+trane · 2004-12-03 16:03 · Score: 1

Yes, I'm actually coding an "In Soviet Russia" bot and I've run into this question.

Soon I will have internet access from my laptop and will be able to put in online...
Re:And in the rest of the world by blue+trane · 2004-12-03 16:42 · Score: 1

Oh yes the answer to your question is, based on my informal survey of "In Soviet Russia" jokes here and at http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?InSovietRussia, the object can either be YOU or the subject of the sentence (if that was not "you").

"In SR, old robots talk to YOU!"
"In SR, robots talk to/about old people"
"In SR, the children think of somebody"
"In SR, the children think of YOU!"
etc.

Diamond Age... by Jaruzel · 2004-12-01 23:16 · Score: 1

"its makers plan to program the robot in English -- not for export, but to teach the language to Japanese children."

Reminds me somewhat of the Young Ladies Illustrated Primer, from Diamond Age, and we all know how that turned out (the mouse army).

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Together, We Can Make Slashdot Better. I Do NOT Mod ACs. - Check Me Out

Re:Diamond Age... by TFGeditor · 2004-12-02 00:22 · Score: 3, Funny

"its makers plan to program the robot in English -- not for export, but to teach the language to Japanese children."

Child: Teach me English.

Robot: All your base are belong to us.

--
Ignorance is curable, stupid is forever.

Japans "CareBots"... by DoktorTomoe · 2004-12-01 23:18 · Score: 4, Interesting

Having done some research (I hold a masters degree in Japanese), I recall there was also a project that had some kid of one-button Instant Messenger in a teddy bear.

The Idea was that elders spoke to the teddy, who tried to convert their word to written language. This was transferred to a central station, where social workers read them on monitor, and replied (e.g. answering questions). The teddy-bot then "spoke the answer to the elder.

Dont know if this project still is in progress. However, an old lady mentioned that the positive impact of the robot was that so much researchers and journalists came to visit her these days...

--
Screw the FSM - Real geeks believe in the Invisible Pink Unicorn

Re:Japans "CareBots"... by VanillaCoke420 · 2004-12-02 01:17 · Score: 1

In 1992, my Hard Disk was 20 Megs, and it was not sufficient. Today, it is 120 Gigs, and it ALSO is not enough.
Maybe if you used both?
Re:Japans "CareBots"... by joshuaobrien · 2004-12-02 01:39 · Score: 1

However, an old lady mentioned that the positive impact of the robot was that so much researchers and journalists came to visit her these days...

But old ladies will do anything for a bit of attention...
Re:Japans "CareBots"... by Fear+the+Clam · 2004-12-02 02:53 · Score: 1

I recall there was also a project that had some ki[n]d of one-button Instant Messenger in a teddy bear.

Wouldn't that be a CareBearBot?
Re:Japans "CareBots"... by drinkypoo · 2004-12-02 04:13 · Score: 1

I recall there was also a project that had some ki[n]d of one-button Instant Messenger in a teddy bear.

Wouldn't that be a CareBearBot?

It depends on who's on the other end of the line. If it connected to irc it'd be a "who cares" bear bot.

--
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
Re:Japans "CareBots"... by gr0k · 2004-12-02 07:22 · Score: 1

The Idea was that elders spoke to the teddy, who tried to convert their word to written language. This was transferred to a central station, where social workers read them on monitor, and replied (e.g. answering questions). The teddy-bot then "spoke the answer to the elder.

Wow, can't imagine how the whisper down the lane will garble the message. Why not just give the old lady a cell phone?

--
http://evoketv.com - TV Listings 2.0
Re:Japans "CareBots"... by rzebram · 2004-12-02 10:47 · Score: 1

Anybody else see the potential humor in hacking one of these? "Did I tell you about my day, CareBot?" "Yes, granny, ten million times, and if you tell me that God foresaken story about your children one more time I'll choke you in your sleep with my stuffing..." Of course, all fun and games end when the spammers get beowulf clusters of these things and begin trying to sell viagra to the elderly.

What is the deal with the Japanese? by Anonymous Coward · 2004-12-01 23:18 · Score: 2, Interesting

I'm no cultural anthropologist, but something must be seriously fucked up with a nation that produces millions of locked-away teenagers, unending streams of paedophilic tentacle rape comics and expensive robots to keep its elderly people sane. Say what you want about the bloated corpulence of USofAia, but I'd take physical problems over crippling psychological problems and abandonment of the elderly.

Re:What is the deal with the Japanese? by Anonymous Coward · 2004-12-02 01:37 · Score: 1, Interesting

As opposed to the U.S. where we lock away many teenagers for silly offences, have unending numbers of paedophilic people in authority (priests, celebrities, teachers), and abandon our elderly in nursing homes to forget themselves?

Quite frankly, it doesn't sound much different.
Re:What is the deal with the Japanese? by Tore+S+B · 2004-12-02 01:42 · Score: 2, Interesting

...unending streams of paedophilic tentacle rape comics...

There's a good reason for this. Japanese law (Written by USA, mind you) bans "indecent content", specifying pubic hair and the sexual organs in print. Thus, literature seems pedophilic because there are no pubes, making the chicks/boys appear younger. Also, the tentacles are that way because they, uhm, are phalluses. Wikipedia would elaborate for you, I won't. (This is all from memory anyways, vague ones)

and expensive robots to keep its elderly people sane.

Fuck, at least Japan is trying to do something about it, instead of letting the people who built the country from barely anything to an economic superpower rot in some retirement home alone, like a major country with some states that are united.

--
toresbe
Re:What is the deal with the Japanese? by Maestro4k · 2004-12-02 02:17 · Score: 5, Interesting
- I'm no cultural anthropologist,
You're either seriously misinformed, too lazy to look up the real facts or just trolling actually. While Japan is certainly far from perfect, this is a totally unfair attack.
- but something must be seriously fucked up with a nation that produces millions of locked-away teenagers,
It's called Hikikomori so you can look up more info on it. Yes there are a million teens who have this problem, but there are many millions who don't. The problem isn't considered a disease (at least not yet), and the problems that trigger it are problems that occur elsewhere as well. From this site: "For reasons ranging from bullying to exam failure, some young people are shutting themselves away in their rooms and having as little direct contact with the outside world as possible. Many are suicidal, but lack the will to make good their morbid fantasies." From what I've read (in the past, can't find the exact links right now) it's a combination that generally causes it. It's not just bad grades or bullying, but a combination of those and/or other factors. Faced with that kind of pressure kids in any country are going to have trouble dealing with it. In fact, China and Korea have problems with high teen suicide rates (just like Japan) largely due to all three placing such importance on doing well on school. If China and Korea aren't seeing problems similiar to Hikikomori yet, they will in the future.
As for why the US doesn't, well kids here by and large don't give a damn if they do well in school so that's one less pressure to trigger something like this. But we do have bullying in schools, in spades in fact, and we have nothing to be proud of in the results it can cause, remember Columbine? What's sad is we didn't really learn anything from that tragedy, the initial response was to ban wearing black trenchcoats and to target teens with similar interests to the two instigators for further scrutiny. What needs to be done is to focus on the kids who are the bullys and punish them for bullying others. Until bullying, which is the root problem, is addressed other incidents like Columbine are likely to happen. I hope I'm wrong there, but I doubt it.
- unending streams of paedophilic tentacle rape comics
On please, you know absolutely nothing about manga. Yeah there is tentacle rape stuff, but it's just a drop in the sea. Japan produces comics for all ages, and they're quite popular. It's everywhere, and most of it is decidedly NOT pedophilic or tentacle rape. And of the stuff that is, as another pointed out it's not necessarily pedophilic, it's cultural issues that lead to the creation of it. (And BTW, the US has some blame in that, we're the ones who applied the first anti-obscenity laws to Japan post WWII.)
- and expensive robots to keep its elderly people sane.
At least they're trying to do something about the problem, exacly what are we doing here in the US? At best we're building more nursing homes to stuff the elderly into so we can forget them. Hardly a higher moral ground.
- Say what you want about the bloated corpulence of USofAia, but I'd take physical problems over crippling psychological problems and abandonment of the elderly.
What say you buck the general American trend of presuming you know everything about a country you've not even been to and stop acting all high and mighty when you're clueless. While Japan isn't perfect, neither is the US and in the grand scheme of things the US probably has more to be ashamed of. We also have our share of crippling psychological problems, you just don't appear to be aware of them either. (Do you even watch/read the news?) Depression is becoming epidemic and one of the top prescription drugs people get busted for having is Xanax. Xanax isn't a narcotic, it's an anti-anxiety medication.
And frankly when it comes t
Re:What is the deal with the Japanese? by entrager · 2004-12-02 03:48 · Score: 1

something must be seriously fucked up with a nation that produces millions of locked-away teenagers
What about a country that produces millions of teenage girls that eat a big meal and then throw it up intentionally?

I'm not slaming the US (I live there), it just seems stupid to degrade a nation because of a condition that occurs there.
Re:What is the deal with the Japanese? by xetaprag · 2004-12-02 04:18 · Score: 1

What needs to be done is to focus on the kids who are the bullys and punish them for bullying others.
The two students from Columbine were acutely interested in killing off "jocks". I can attest to the fact that the sports programs at both my high school and college were so revered, that players attained demi-god status. Such status needs to promote the belief of superiority. This belief tends to lead to the type of bullying the two Columbine students suffered.

The point is: Any real solution to the bullying problem will require serious work to change the nature of many powerful and deeply intrenched educational institutions. It is easier adopt a "simple" solution of further ostracizing the "nerds".
Re:What is the deal with the Japanese? by RichardX · 2004-12-02 06:28 · Score: 1

Other posters have addressed the many problems with your post adequately, so I'll not re-tread the same ground.. however, you might find this pagean eye-opener

Give it a try - That is a test given to japanese 12 year olds, and the full thing consists of 225 such questions. Time limits are given on the questions (more are max 2 minutes), and you're not allowed a calculator. Still feel so superior?

--
Curiosity was framed. Ignorance killed the cat.
Re:What is the deal with the Japanese? by identity0 · 2004-12-02 10:19 · Score: 1

Goddamnit, I'm tired of these stupid "wtf japan=tentacle rape, suicide, geishas, robots, cults LOLOL01!!1!" posts that people spew on the internet. Those things (with the exception of robots) are considered fringe in Japan, and it sure as hell is not representative of the country. Does it ever occur to you that the reason why those things became so prominent in western views of Japan was precicely because they were exotic and strange, and not 'normal', even in Japan?

And the reason they're using robots is because their birthrate is so low that their population is actually going to shrink in the coming years. Traditionally, Japanese families had lots of kids, and one of them would be expected to stay home and take care of his/her parents. However with many families having only one child or none, people are finding that Japan doesn't have much of a governmental or private care system for the elderly.

Most industrialzed nations like the U.S. are dealing with the same issues, but they're less severe for a few reasons:

1) They take in more immigrants, the U.S. in particular. They add to the economy and can pay for native workers to care for the elderly, so it helps. If the U.S. stopped immigration entirely, their population growth would barely break even.

2) Their life expectancy is lower. Japan has one of the highest life expectancies in the world, so there are a lot more old people in Japan than in the U.S.

So it's no suprise that they're relying on technology to help, especially with the Japanese love of technology. However, it might be more helpful to import immigrant workers, but I doubt Japan will do so.

Sources: The Economist, CNN
Re:What is the deal with the Japanese? by LWATCDR · 2004-12-02 10:33 · Score: 1

Yes the anti Japanese posts sound much like the anti US posts. Take the most extreme bit of news and blow it up. One problem that Japan does have is a shrinking population. The birth rate has fallen below the replacement rate. When a society starts decreasing children as part of the population that is almost never a good sign. The decrease in birth rates seems to be tied to a want of more "STUFF". I frankly have to say that money is not the root of all evil it is the want of "STUFF",

--
See my blog http://ilovecookes.blogspot.com/ for light hearted technical information.

Somebody hand me a gun... or the specs. by gd23ka · 2004-12-01 23:20 · Score: 1

Other than the conversation function, the robot has 15 programs to keep the elderly thinking and healthy, including singing songs, reading out quiz games and old news, and inquiring about health functions.

I wonder if I ever got that old, could I have a gun or some cyanide instead? On second thought, could I have a SDK with it?

Re:Somebody hand me a gun... or the specs. by nyekulturniy · 2004-12-02 00:22 · Score: 1

It seems to me that as the more computer-savvy get older, there will be fewer problems with social isolation. We will all be in our rooms, but we'll have IM and Email and mind-challenging programs... and then we'll have Slashdot to rot our minds!

--
Nyekulturniy... Proudly confusing readers and editors since 1981!

We're doomed i say!! by tom1974 · 2004-12-01 23:23 · Score: 1, Funny

"its makers plan to program the robot in English -- not for export, but to teach the language to Japanese children."

We gaijin engrish teachers are doomed NOW!

I for one welcome our new english teaching overloards at NOVA HQ!

Re:We're doomed i say!! by No+Such+Agency · 2004-12-02 00:37 · Score: 1

Ah, suck it up, you'll just have to move back to NoAm and suffer here like the rest of us - no more hot Japanese women dating you just because your accent is cute.

--
Freedom: "I won't!"
Re:We're doomed i say!! by calculadoru · 2004-12-02 01:18 · Score: 1

our new english teaching overloards at NOVA HQ!

mate, if you work for Nova and haven't yet figured out that the management there is made up of robots, then you need to stop reading slashdot and have a look at the world around you.

--
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. -- G.B. Shaw

Snuggling Ifbot, huh... by op51n · 2004-12-01 23:23 · Score: 1

Stupidest. Name. Ever.
I'd have said worst, but really, it's just so silly! But then I guess this is from the nation that brought us one of the finest performance cars ever, titled the Fairlady.

Re:Snuggling Ifbot, huh... by nick+korma · 2004-12-01 23:31 · Score: 1

I think your being a bit harsh - how do you know that it doesnt snuggle up to you.. I have not read the full article - but for all your know - it could bring you a cup of warm milk at night, tuck you into bed and then snuggle up to you... (I have no idea where the ifbot part comes from though - perhaps everything that starts with the letter i is seen as cool now)
Re:Snuggling Ifbot, huh... by Bisqwit · 2004-12-01 23:38 · Score: 1

So when will Microsoft will sue them because the name is similar to IfNot, their patented invention?
Re:Snuggling Ifbot, huh... by Bisqwit · 2004-12-01 23:44 · Score: 1

(Nevermind that the URL in that post is wrong... well, nobody checks them anyway.)
Find the correct one with Google or from Slashdot archive.

In america.... by Anonymous Coward · 2004-12-01 23:26 · Score: 5, Funny

In America, Old people get shot by shotgun toting robots.

Re:In america.... by sharkey · 2004-12-02 04:20 · Score: 2, Funny

Puh-leeze! They prefer to be called "Texans".

--

--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
Re:In america.... by Mystic8277 · 2004-12-02 14:28 · Score: 1

No Sir! They have machine guns now! http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=04/12/02/007253 /

I welcome the Anti-Senility Industry overlords by RealProgrammer · 2004-12-01 23:32 · Score: 4, Informative

My wife works in a nursing home. It's her job to fill the old folks' day with interesting activities. She has to make sure that each one of them gets interaction that's not related to their health maintenance. They have an elaborate system for tracking and monitoring the amount and type of interaction each resident gets.

"Senility" is a blanket term covering all kinds of maladies, including Alzheimer's, the effects of stroke, and atrophy of various kinds. Most people in geriatrics agree that to stave off senility you should use the same tactics you use to stay healthy now. Eat sensibly, get plenty of exercise (including the horizontal variety if you can get it!), and engage in mentally challenging activities.

The mentally challenging activities that are best at delaying senility are things you've never done before. If you've never played music, try learning to play an instrument. Learn another language, especially sign language. If you have an elderly relative, get them hooked on email. It won't take long, since they're usually starved for communication.

A talking robot is fine, but old people really need young people.

--
sigs, as if you care.

Re:I welcome the Anti-Senility Industry overlords by Wwolmack · 2004-12-02 01:03 · Score: 1

Its kind of a sad commentary on Japanese politics when the solution to an aging population is "cute talking robots".

"Solutions" like this are pursued because Japan is unwilling to legalize the thousands of foreign workers from the Phillipines and a couple other nearby Asian nations already in Japan, and Japanese politicians are also highly unwilling to open the borders, out of concern for preserving the national identity. 1 in 3 Japanese oppose legalizing foreign workers.

While its cute, a robot is no replacement for a real, live, human caretaker. The Phillipine government is actually actively attracting Japanese elderly to live in the Phillipines, relying on the low cost of living and readily availible supply of nurses. The ulterior motive is to remove Japanese elderly from Japan to prevent their re-entry into the workforce, thus forcing Japan to open its borders to foreign workers (primarily Phillipinos).

A similar strategy is being pursued in regards to Japanese women, but thats another post.
Re:I welcome the Anti-Senility Industry overlords by The+One+and+Only · 2004-12-02 02:44 · Score: 1

If you have an elderly relative, get them hooked on email.

Especially in Korea!

--
In Repressive Burma, it's not just your connection that dies. slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=314547&cid=20819199

Support by cerberusss · 2004-12-01 23:35 · Score: 4, Funny

We have these robots working at the support department of the company I work at.

Customer: I can't log into my database instance
Support: You can't log into your database instance?

Et cetera...

--
8 of 13 people found this answer helpful. Did you?

Re:Support by ic3p1ck · 2004-12-02 00:00 · Score: 1

Damit why do I always find good posts after I've used up my mod points?

Anyway, here have an unofficial +1 Funny from me :)

Limited use... by troon · 2004-12-01 23:42 · Score: 1

If a person tells Snuggling Ifbot, "I'm bored today," the robot might respond, "Are you bored? What do you want to do?"

Might respond? That's a lot of money for the possibility of a reply.

--
Ydco co ,df C erb-y go. a Ekrpat t.fxrapev

Re:Depends what they're used for... by Savage-Rabbit · 2004-12-02 00:02 · Score: 2, Interesting

Yeah, and sooner or later the following headline would appear on theregister.com:

Robot wife gets stuck in endless programming loop, owner shagged to death.

--
Only to idiots, are orders laws.
-- Henning von Tresckow

Robot, schmobot by ajs318 · 2004-12-02 00:12 · Score: 4, Funny

If you want something to keep you fit, healthy, happy and not lonely in your old age, why the freakin' hell not just get a freakin' dog already? Granted, the basic out-of-the-box model needs some hardware mods to avoid spawning too many child processes, and you have to update its virus and worm protection every few months. But you should get at least 6 years uptime -- and probably even more from one using generic, commodity parts from a mixture of suppliers.

--
Je fume. Tu fumes. Nous fûmes!

Re:Robot, schmobot by zobier · 2004-12-02 14:13 · Score: 1

Nice post. BTW: May you please explain your .sig?

--
Me lost me cookie at the disco.
Re:Robot, schmobot by The+Wicked+Priest · 2004-12-02 15:38 · Score: 1

I was going to post something similar -- not necessarily just dogs, but pets in general, seem like they'd fit the bill. But then, I felt the same way when I first heard about the Aibo. What's the point of robotic pets?

I suppose one argument against live pets, in this case, is that senile people might not take proper care of them. But then, the responsibility factor could do a lot to pull the people out of senility; perhaps just as much as the companionship.

As I understand it, old-age homes in the U.S. are doing a lot of good by bringing in pets. The strange thing is how long it took them to start doing it.

--
Share and Enjoy: 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
Re:Robot, schmobot by ajs318 · 2004-12-02 22:12 · Score: 1

The sig is due for a change soon, so I will bow to popular demand and explain it. The explanation is simply that I do not need to squat down in order to empty my bladder {as women are popularly but mistakenly supposed to}; nor am I limited to having only one orgasm in a row {as men are popularly but mistakenly supposed to}. I'll also explain how you, too, can join me in stealing the opposite sex's special move.

Either: Squat down as though you were about to take a leak {but don't start yet}. Put your middle two fingers between your fanny lips and your outside two fingers outside, so as to keep everything open. Stand up gently so as not to disturb your hand. If you did everything right, your pee passage will be unobstructed and you can aim away from yourself just by pulling up. Memorise the hand position, so you can just insert your hand from standing anytime you need to go {after all, if you have to squat everytime just to get your hand in right, then there really isn't much point; this is simply the easiest way to explain how to find the right hand position}. Be sure to practice in the back garden after dark, or in the shower, before you do it for real.

Or: Have a wank, but stop as soon as you get the feeling that you might be about to come. Slow right down but don't come to a dead stop. As soon as you feel the first shudder, stop altogether and hold on like grim death. You will get the fireworks in your head -- this is what constitutes the actual orgasm -- but not spurt your spunk, nor lose your hard-on. As soon as you feel the fireworks have subsided, start wanking again. You will be rewarded with a second fireworks display just before you finally ejaculate.

--
Je fume. Tu fumes. Nous fûmes!
Re:Robot, schmobot by ajs318 · 2004-12-03 01:18 · Score: 1

If I was Prime Minister, veterinary care for cats and dogs would be paid for by the NHS, because people who keep pets are generally fitter and healthier -- so it would have a direct beneficial effect on human health. I find the concept of having to pay for medical care absolutely outrageous -- it discriminates against the poor. And means testing of benefits isn't worth it; checking a claim to see if the claimant deserves it can cost more than just paying everyone {cf. the penny post}, especially since those who would be earning more would be paying more taxes anyway.

--
Je fume. Tu fumes. Nous fûmes!

Full circle by yndrd · 2004-12-02 00:14 · Score: 1

Just thing: a whole generation of children may go from having to talk to Teddy Ruxpin due to loneliness to having to talk to Snuggling Ifbot due to loneliness.

At least Teddy could read stories.

By the example by Rares+Marian · 2004-12-02 00:17 · Score: 1

one gets the impression it increases senility. It should not repeat the question to the user but start dancing in some way while vacuuming.

--
The message on the other side of this sig is false.

Well in Soviet Russia... by olivesaregross · 2004-12-02 00:18 · Score: 2, Funny

Old robots talk to you!!!

Interesting phrases by Viper233 · 2004-12-02 00:19 · Score: 1

I wonder if one of the translated phrases out of it will be something along the lines of
"All your base are belong to us"

Hmmm, that's just about all Internet fads ... now all we need is it to play a video of the starwar's kid and get it to say

badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, .......

Sad by elgatozorbas · 2004-12-02 00:19 · Score: 3, Interesting

Am I the only one to think it is sad old people should now revert to robots?
One hundred years ago, having children was an insurance for old age: if you had many, at least one of them would take care of you. At least, such was the situation in Europe (where I live), and I know this was especially the case in Asia too. Probably life was shorter back than, and the elderly weren't a 'burden' for a long time...

Nowadays, people live longer (or at least they can choose to, by living healthy... obesitas anyone?), and their offspring is busier. So I can understand it is not always feasible to take care of your parents yourself, and we now have nursing homes.

But when I am old, and put in such place, which is understaffed, and no one has the time to deal with me, and the only companion I have is an AI electronic device, why would I want to live any longer? Or why wouldn't I be better off senile? The only explanation is that a minimal preservation of my mental abilities would be easier for the (few) humans taking care of me.
A sad 28 year old.

Z

One step closer by LarsWestergren · 2004-12-02 00:20 · Score: 1

So, we are one step closer to Roujin Z it seems....

Seriously though, I've seen on TV before how elderly people in Japan were given little animatronic bears to keep them company. Perhaps for those suffering from dementia it could be an aid, but mostly I found it sad. Imagine being cooped up in a home for the elderly with just a machine that is barely on the level of "Eliza" to keep you company, every day the same as last. No wonder some long for death.

When my parents are getting old, I will make sure I have enough free time to visit them and spend time with them regularly.

--

Being bitter is drinking poison and hoping someone else will die

Re:One step closer by DoktorTomoe · 2004-12-02 01:00 · Score: 1

Thats a noble attitude, and I wish more younger people would try to achieve more time with their aging parents.
However, and I really miss this information in the discussion so far - Japan is not America nor Europe. This is none of the usual "Japanese attitude" gibberish.
Japan - for an instance - has a far better social healthcare and care for elders than the States and most of Europe. In fact, the idea of improving old Westerners life is often just grotesque (In Germany, for an instance, the average time a warden can "take care" of feeding an Alzheimer patient is about 3 minutes - thats but 120 seconds for feeding a whole meal!). The Japanese try to make better, and Id really prefer a teddy-robot with an ELIZA-Syndrome than being forced to an elders asylum by my children where I should die early because the care costs eat up their heritage.

--
Screw the FSM - Real geeks believe in the Invisible Pink Unicorn

robot? by Folmer · 2004-12-02 00:22 · Score: 1

"Japan's growing elderly population will be able to buy companionship in the form of a 45-centimeter (18-inch) robot"
Sure japans growing population of single women could use an 18-inch robot too...

Ready supply of people by Dogtanian · 2004-12-02 00:32 · Score: 1

Perhaps the people employed to greet employees in shops, and press buttons on the elevators could be employed to visit old people instead.

Just a thought.

--
"Slashdot - News and Chat Sites Deviant". (Click "homepage" link above for details).

Turing by Master+Ben · 2004-12-02 00:47 · Score: 1

I believe it's a turing test, designed to test for intelligence in our grandparents. But seriously I've visited my grandmother and have seen her conversing with a wall. The only difference is that the almost never answers back.

An 18" robot? by Anonymous Coward · 2004-12-02 00:52 · Score: 1, Funny

My wife had something similar. She did talk to it, but the vocabulary was pretty limited - "Oh! Yes! Baaaaby!"

Re:An 18" robot? by Carewolf · 2004-12-02 01:35 · Score: 1

Yes, but was it snuggling her?

Finally... by AJanuary · 2004-12-02 00:56 · Score: 1

Finally someone they can talk to without getting confused. I mean, have you tried talking to old people? "Hello" "Hello" "How are you?" "My fish are pink" "I asked how are you" "Yes, it ate too much food colouring and has now turned pink" "wtf???" With the bot it would go more like "Hello" "Hello" "My fish are pink" "Why are your fish pink?" "Too much food colouring" "Why have they got too much food colouring?" "I put too much in" "Why did you put too much in?" "Because I like pink fish" "Why do you like pink fish?" You get the picture. One thing I don't agre with though, it says it checks it's internal clock to say "It's a lovely Autumn day" What if it's not a lovely Autumn day? Poor old granny's going to get soaked!

Actual Rest Home Conversations by LabRat007 · 2004-12-02 00:59 · Score: 1, Funny

Snuggling Ifbot: Hi!

Old Japanese Fella: Haro Rittle One, who ara you?

Snuggling Ifbot: You're not insane!

Old Japanese Fella: Sank you

Old Japanese Fella: Haro Rittle One, who ara you?

Snuggling Ifbot: You're not insane!

Old Japanese Fella: Sank you

Old Japanese Fella: Haro Rittle One, who ara you?

Snuggling Ifbot: You're not insane!

Old Japanese Fella: Sank you

******************
you get the idea...

--
"Capital punishment makes the state into a murderer. Imprisonment makes the state into a gay dungeon-master"

Re:Actual Rest Home Conversations by Anonymous Coward · 2004-12-02 01:44 · Score: 1, Funny

wow. you must seriously be missing out on many elements of japanese culture if that is one of your favorite things about living in Japan. What is next on your list? watching people trip over their shoelaces?
Re:Actual Rest Home Conversations by Halo- · 2004-12-02 02:08 · Score: 1

So I laughed out loud at this comment, and read it to my officemate (who has read the headline, but not the article...) A short time later I am reading the rest of today's articles, and come across this picture and say: "Crap, look at those things" My office mate looks over at my screen and sez: "Those are the robots they're giving to Japanese old people!?!"
Re:Actual Rest Home Conversations by LabRat007 · 2004-12-02 02:28 · Score: 2, Insightful

"Those are the robots they're giving to Japanese old people!?!"

You see, by eliminating any of the old Japanese people who succumb to senility, desptie Snuggly Ifbot tell them otherwise, they keep their success rate at 100%. The will of course eventually lead to a "happy" version of the robot that will eradiate all sorrow on earth.

Let me be the first to say how very very happy I am at these developments. SO VERY HAPPY...

--
"Capital punishment makes the state into a murderer. Imprisonment makes the state into a gay dungeon-master"
Re:Actual Rest Home Conversations by Anonymous Coward · 2004-12-02 03:47 · Score: 1, Funny

Fat American Fuckwit : Ha Ha, racisms so funny.
Re:Actual Rest Home Conversations by hamsandwich72 · 2004-12-02 06:17 · Score: 1

You're new here, arent' you.
Re:Actual Rest Home Conversations by Armando+the+Great · 2004-12-02 08:09 · Score: 1

You -do- realize that that was meant as a joke, right? Right?

--
You have forgotten the face of your father.
Re:Actual Rest Home Conversations by aichpvee · 2004-12-02 08:24 · Score: 1

You sure it's karate? I heard they were all ninja who go crazy and kill everyone in town if someone drops a spoon...

--
The Farewell Tour II
Re:Actual Rest Home Conversations by Archie+Steel · 2004-12-02 16:04 · Score: 1

My guess is the stereotypical phonetic spelling. There's always a risk when using such cliches to represent someone from another culture. Some people find it insensitive, though technically it is not racism.

--

Reminder: find a new sig

gently into that good night by sacrilicious · 2004-12-02 01:00 · Score: 1

"If a person tells Snuggling Ifbot, "I'm bored today," the robot might respond, "Are you bored? What do you want to do?"

Old person: "Listening to other people talk makes me suicidal." Snuggling Ifbot: "Listening to other people talk makes you suicidal? What do you want to do? Tell me, what? Surely there is something you want to do? Can you tell me what it is?"

--
- First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then ???, then profit.

Are these people crazy.... by Siener · 2004-12-02 01:01 · Score: 1

Haven't they seen Rojin Z?!

It's an Anime about an old man who gets a robotic bed to care for him that goes on a city destroying rampage.

--
siener's youtube channel

Avoiding regrets by Anonymous Coward · 2004-12-02 01:18 · Score: 1, Insightful

When I went to law school, My wife and I visited my 86-year-old grandfather on the weekends. I was never politically correct and we had some good arguments. Even more interesting was when I started doing family research and collected all his stories then went out and found stories even he didn't know.

Even so, he was waiting to die for the last decade or so of his life. At least, at his funeral, my other relatives came up to me and said how much he enjoyed our talks.

I can see my own parents tottering on the same brink. I think it all comes out of spending your entire life doing meaningless labour to make other people rich. If we took more risks to do what we loved, we might suffer more hardship and live shorter lives, but it would be a more interesting ride with fewer regrets.

Believe me, the question he asked most in his last days were what was his whole life about and what good was anything he had done. And he'd been a Baptist minister his whole life.

Just get a Roomba by uncoveror · 2004-12-02 01:37 · Score: 1

Want a robot for a companion? How about one that actually does something practical. Get grannie and gramps a Roomba.

--
The Uncoveror: It's the real news.

Re:Someone has to say it.. by deletedaccount · 2004-12-02 01:50 · Score: 1

More like I for three or four welcome the robot warlords DoH!

I've fallen and I can't get up. by Sai+Babu · 2004-12-02 01:52 · Score: 1

"How do you feel about this fallen?"
I think I've cracked some ribs. "How did you cook your ribs?" Look snuggle-brain, I'm in pain here, can you call the doctor? "Yes, I'll call the doctor. Should I inform him we are dining on ribs?" Dammit, call 911! "That's rather far in advance to make a dinner date, do you think you'll live that long?"

--
Now I'm the grandest Tiger in the Jungle!

Japanese programmers teaching english by Falrick · 2004-12-02 02:01 · Score: 1

I fear for the generation of children that grow up and learn to speak English from a Japanese programmer.

Robot: "Pleasant sentiment, young not adults!"
Children: "Satisfy early time in day, converyer of learn!"
Robot: "English will be shown language through class. We have learn verb later."

shiver

--
something clever

The Perfect Desktop Assistant by SlipJig · 2004-12-02 02:03 · Score: 1

I'm going to name mine Bob :-)
Mike

--
Read my keyboard review.

Robot companionship by starseeker · 2004-12-02 02:20 · Score: 1

I saw a show on something similar where an MIT student was proposing the same thing - robots for elderly companionship. It's so insensitive it makes you wince.

People require interaction with other people. The elderly are in a difficult position because they are no longer part of the day to day hustle and bustle and the interaction that entails. They need to know they are cared about, and trying to substitute a robot in for human companionship will tell them exactly the opposite. Even most geeks don't live in an environment as isolated as that.

Robot companionship is basically something you might expect from the geek community - people are annoying and unreliable as a solution to isolation, so build your own solution. That just doesn't work. Geeks are an unusual subset of the total population in that they get by with much less human interaction than average (at least direct interaction). The current generation of elderly weren't geeks in the modern sense, for the most part, and have usually learned to value people over things in any case. Playing video games or working on a computer just isn't a viable solution to this problem.

Ironically, someday we might actually achieve a level of sophistication which allows us to build robots indistinguishable from humans. That's when things will get interesting. (Or maybe scary, depending on how you view such things.) But right now, the only solution to human companionship is human companionship, however little American society might like to concede that point. Most people aren't like geeks, remember - they view human socialization as worth the potential annoyance. Or maybe one if the reasons it's worthwhile IS the potential annoyance, I don't know. But we're stuck with the fact (from our perspective anyway) that the human animal is a social animal, and until we start really messing with genetics or building near-human robots that equation isn't going to change. So let's stop insulting the intelligence of the elderly with stuff like this - they've already got enough problems.

(Ironically, even in the MIT student's case it was clear the folks she was showing the robot to appreciated it more as an activity and interesting toy than as a potential companion. I suspect the MIT student was probably the only one not to see that.)

--
"I object to doing things that computers can do." -- Olin Shivers, lispers.org

Old Glory by pragma_x · 2004-12-02 02:23 · Score: 1

I wonder if you can get this in Japan? They're gonna need it.

Old Glory Robot Insurance

Special attachments by autophile · 2004-12-02 02:34 · Score: 1

I hear you can buy a special pusher attachment, a shover attachment, a bread-shover attachment, and a snow-pusher attachment.

--Rob

--
Towards the Singularity.

In my experience... by Lust · 2004-12-02 02:35 · Score: 1

Old people talk to just about anything :)

rags by perdu · 2004-12-02 02:36 · Score: 1

Not a bad idea! A robotic pet would be a pretty good companion too -- should be doable now. Of course, Woody Allen would say "Is he housetrained, or does he leave little batteries on the carpet?"

--
You only use 2% of your DNA

meh by Gerfervonbob · 2004-12-02 02:40 · Score: 1

Who needs real pets that get put down everyday when you can buy a metal one that makes anoying sounds! beep, beep, beep

we have squirrels and pigeons by peter303 · 2004-12-02 02:43 · Score: 1

Notice the oldster on park benches feeding and talking to the park critters. Cheaper than buy a robot.

Umm.... by sagenumen · 2004-12-02 02:44 · Score: 1

So let me get this straight:

senility (n) 1: mental infirmity as a consequence of old age; sometimes shown by foolish infatuations

Ahh, so having a robot acting as a companion is helping avoid senility. I get it now.

Video clip of anti-senility robots by hoggoth · 2004-12-02 02:50 · Score: 2, Interesting

I found this video clip of the Japanese robots they will be selling to old people to avoid senility.

--
- For the complete works of Shakespeare: cat /dev/random (may take some time)

oh great... by revery · 2004-12-02 02:51 · Score: 1

"its makers plan to program the robot in English -- not for export, but to teach the language to Japanese children."

Well at least the future is shaping up to transpire like a good anime, with our young ninja overlords being trained in our ways by their robot tutors.

--

I sincerely hope that in the movie of my life, I play a major character.

Japanese engineers teaching English... by hoggoth · 2004-12-02 02:53 · Score: 1

> its makers plan to program the robot in English -- not for export, but to teach the language to Japanese children

Repeat after me:
Somebody set up us the bomb.
What you say !!
Take off every 'zig' !!
Move 'zig'.
For great justice.

--
- For the complete works of Shakespeare: cat /dev/random (may take some time)

How long before... by Nom+du+Keyboard · 2004-12-02 03:17 · Score: 1

How long before it has its own TV show?

--
"It's the height of ridiculousness to say for those 9 lines you get hundreds of millions."

Re:Depends what they're used for... by Chris+Burke · 2004-12-02 03:17 · Score: 1

Just call it "Very Pleasant Euthanasia" and bill it as a feature.

--

The enemies of Democracy are

f*cking sad by elnyka · 2004-12-02 03:26 · Score: 1

That's the saddest thing, to see a lone elder having to buy a robot to have someone to talk to. And it's even sadder that a culture allows it to happen, and to have companies making a profit out of it.

Ack. by RealProgrammer · 2004-12-02 03:46 · Score: 1

CAN'T find the keys. Damn, messed up a frickin' one-liner.

--
sigs, as if you care.

Re:Ack. by mrhight · 2004-12-02 05:11 · Score: 1

Tsk, tsk. Here, I found you a nice Snuggling Ifbot to keep you company.

On slashdot... by ravenspear · 2004-12-02 03:48 · Score: 1

Country jokes make it into news headlines.

I'll be, I was Right! To My Kids No Less! by LifesABeach · 2004-12-02 04:04 · Score: 1

I've always told my children that their brain is like a muscle. I would tell them that they have to learn things, like an athelete trains by practicing, or their brain would become slow and lazy to learn in the future. I'd also tell them that I know I'm not saying this correctly, its because I "learnt" it to late! I guess...

Old Glory Robot Insurance by kentyman · 2004-12-02 04:22 · Score: 2, Informative

For when the metal ones decide to come for you... and they will!

http://www.robotcombat.com/video_oldglory_hi.htm l

--
You know where you are? You're in the $PATH, baby. You're gonna get executed!

This is ridiculous. by Spy+der+Mann · 2004-12-02 04:32 · Score: 1

Why do people think of elders as disposable garbage or something? Oh, sonny's busy with his wife, so he can't visit you even once a week. Phone calls? Sorry, too busy. Stop bugging me, you're not useful anymore.

Oh wait, there's a replacement for the love I can't give you. Meet Mr. Robot. Enjoy.

Geez.

Nobody Asked Me, But: by LifesABeach · 2004-12-02 04:45 · Score: 1

A Bully is someone who imposes themselves on others.

Not all of us get the chance to grow old. There is no "Holy Grail for Aging". But by looking around, you can find others who have more experience with it than yourself. As to the best method? Only time will tell.

The one thing that ties us all together is the commonality in the way We think. When a set of events occurs we "Cope" with it. Coping could be ignoring the event, shutting one's self in a room, or standing with your back to a wall staring out. Interestingly, Coping is taking the best course of action using what you have to work with at the time.

Japanese robots talk. US robots shoot! by payndz · 2004-12-02 04:46 · Score: 2, Funny

Combine the two...

"I'm bored today."
[KLA-CHAK!] "Activating weapons systems! Target located! Preparing to terminate!"
"I'mnotboredanymore! AAAAIIEEE!"

--
You must think in Russian.

Insurance? by biggs173 · 2004-12-02 04:54 · Score: 1

I sure hope they have robot insurance.

I have a weird feeling about this. by Parandor · 2004-12-02 04:58 · Score: 1

"Are you bored? What do you want to do?"".

This is way too close to Microsoft punch line for comfort.

It retails for 576,000 yen (5,600 dollars)

600$ robot + Microsoft server? When I see the price tag, I can't help getting suspicious.

and there is no English version currently available

Folks at Microsoft will be uppset by this. I mean "We can't find an english version of windows." isn't going to look good for them.

Jokes aside, I find the new trend of putting voice activated recognition system in cars, home appliances and toys annoying at best. In cell phones, I can understand. But before running maybe they should walk? Maintaining a conversation with a human is several orders of magnitude harder than just figuring out what the said humain is babling about.

English-teaching robot by thegnu · 2004-12-02 04:59 · Score: 2, Funny

They could call him Clippy, and when children say stuff like, "I want to go play!" the robot would reply, "You want an apple? Get it yourself."

Really, I'm terrified of the language that these children will be learning. First off, I don't trust programmers with the English language when it IS their first language. Second, robots are stupid. And have a database of canned responses. And will misinterpret the children.

There will be an army of asian children who speak excellent english, but don't know what the fuck they're talking about.

--
Please stop stalking me, bro.

Misread part of TFA for a sec by Bimo_Dude · 2004-12-02 05:04 · Score: 1

the conversation ability of a five-year-old, the language level needed to stimulate the brains of senior citizens,

I thought it said: the conversation ability of a five-year-old, the language level needed to simulate the brains of senior citizens, (emphasis mine).

--
"Teleporting Rodents with D-Cell Battery Displacement" theory -- IgnoramusMaximus (692000)

Sukebe no mono dekinai? by furasato · 2004-12-02 05:34 · Score: 1

Oji-san: Oy, Roboto, Chin Chin nominasai!! Robot: Gomen nasai, watakushi wa chin chin nomu no koto was dekimasen. Oji-san: Dekinai? Bakaro!! Chin Chin nominasai! Hayaku!! Robot: Gomen Nasai, Dekimasen. Oji-san: Goju nana mon, roku sen yen sukata kedo, kono roboto was kimochi no mono nanino dekimasu. Kondo was baishu ni iku!! (old man becoming angry once he finds out that the robot is unwilling to give oral)

America's Growing Female Population... by Echidna9686 · 2004-12-02 06:02 · Score: 1

"Japan's growing elderly population will be able to buy companionship in the form of a 45-centimeter (18-inch) robot" And America's growing female population is able to buy companionship in the form of a 23-centimeter (9-inch) robot. ...God I need a girlfriend.

Boring by starfishsystems · 2004-12-02 06:34 · Score: 1

If a person tells Snuggling Ifbot, "I'm bored today," the robot might respond, "Are you bored? What do you want to do?"

What a desperately stupid example.

Remember being a kid, and having this conversation with your mum? What was your response?

Mine was, "But I don't know what I want to do. That's why I'm bored!"

--
Parity: What to do when the weekend comes.

Re:Nearly there by Monkey · 2004-12-02 06:50 · Score: 1

Yes, a few of those would go well with the Pimpbot 5000 .

Chatbots older than their owners. by wcrowe · 2004-12-02 06:51 · Score: 1

Great, a $5,600 version of Eliza.

--
Proverbs 21:19

Not very smart robots! by Sean+Johnson · 2004-12-02 06:57 · Score: 1

"If a person tells Snuggling Ifbot, "I'm bored today," the robot might respond, "Are you bored? What do you want to do?"
----
It freaking asks you if you're bored after you've already told it you were bored. How smart is that? I would hope it at least suggests some things to do instead of merely asking.
"Oh well Mr. Robot, I am so bored that I want to sit around talking to YOUR dumbass all day thank you very much."
I can envision the Microsoft Windows OS powering the thing with this slogan:
"Winrobes, what do you want to do today?"
"Oh you say you are comatose because I am such a boring robot. Are you bored? What is your favorite color? Let's talk about our favorite color shall we?"

It seems to me that the old folks would get a more intellectually stimulating conversation if they watched Teletubbies episodes all day and talked to the freaking television screen.

--
>>>>>> Chewie, take the professor in the back and plug him into the hyperdrive.

Will they work on ice floes? by DulcetTone · 2004-12-02 07:10 · Score: 1

Not having to hug our parents is an important advance, but we long since sent them to live (or not) on an ice floe. Are these robots arctic-safe?

tone

--
tone

In Russia, by Chiisu · 2004-12-02 07:40 · Score: 1

/nevermind

It eats medicine! by MonkeyCookie · 2004-12-02 08:03 · Score: 1

I think that giving robots to old people is a terrible solution!

Not only do we have to worry about them pushing old people down the stairs, but they are almost guaranteed to terrorize the elderly and consume their medicine for fuel!

Does this remind anyone else of Roujin Z? by Max+Threshold · 2004-12-02 09:23 · Score: 1

Roujin Z

Talking about Robots... by KraZy-KaT · 2004-12-02 09:45 · Score: 1

In Soviet Russia, Elderly Robots talk to YOU!

Ugh. by Fantastic+Lad · 2004-12-02 09:57 · Score: 1

I can't stand 99% of Japanese consumerist bullshit.

Thank goodness those #%&x@! "Hello Kitties" have faded from pop culture. That was what? About ten years of eye-gouging?

Pardon me. I recognize that this is just a case of cultural incompatibility and that given enough distance, Western culture is just as stupid, but I'll tell you. . , nothing makes the hackles rise on my hairy white barbarian body more than distilled Japanese Cute. --It draws bubbling up from the depths of my gene pool the urge to swing a battle axe like nothing else.

I swear those damned kitties are some sort of Zen test.

Breathe in. Hold and count. . . Exhale.

Phoo.

-FL

I'm pretty sure our support is human by SuperKendall · 2004-12-02 10:04 · Score: 1

When I say "I can't log into my database instance" my support org usually replies "How does that make you feel?".

No way that kind of compassion is a program!

--
"There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley

Re:Geeks will surely love this... by ginbot462 · 2004-12-02 10:12 · Score: 1

Then, I put on a robe and kill a grue.

What? You mean it was Interactive Fiction not Infocon Fiction?

--
Atlas Shrugged : Thematic Story :: Battlefield Earth : Organized Religion

Core dumps by chochos · 2004-12-02 10:25 · Score: 1

The main problem with dogs are the core dumps, which appen rather frequently, and debugging that is not nice.

--
Go hug some trees.

Robots by xihr · 2004-12-02 10:42 · Score: 1

Why am I reminded of the Sam Waterston SNL skit about Old Glory Insurance?

and 33 minutes later by Flunitrazepam · 2004-12-02 12:23 · Score: 1

Robot Bukkake!!

--
1) Your analysis is based on bad assumptions so your result is way off. 2) You're a sick bastard for fucking a horse.

Roujin Z by tekrat · 2004-12-02 16:08 · Score: 1

Anybody remember an anime by AKIRA creator Katsuhiro Otomo called Roujin Z?

It was basically about a robot bed that cares for an elderly patient -- anyhow the bed kinda goes a little haywire and pretends it's his dead wife, and takes the old guy to the beach.

It's up to a nurse-in-training to resuce him and protect him (and the bed) from the pursuit of the army and the lab technicians trying to cover up their ineptitude.

--
If telephones are outlawed, then only outlaws will have telephones.

Robot Insurance by willpall · 2004-12-02 19:49 · Score: 1

Would the purchase of this void any Robot Insurance policies? Remember, they need old people's pills for energy and once they got you, your done, because they're strong, and made of metal.

--
Libertarian: label used by embarrassed Republicans, longing to be open about their greed, drug use and porn collections.

I am awesome-O, what would you like me to do? by f05t3k · 2004-12-04 10:57 · Score: 1

And I thought I was alienated living in a town filled with mostly republicans. But I don't have to talk to robots to keep from getting senile. (but I like to) Haven't they heard of a chat room?

Slashdot Mirror

In Japan, Old People Talk to Robots

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