Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft Buys OpenOffice.org
Micahel West writes "As reported on OpenOffice.org: 'For an undisclosed sum but reputed to be in the billions, Microsoft's Bill Gates has personally bought the leading open-source desktop project. Saying he "was sick and tired of open-source eating away at his profits," the world's richest man decided to put an end to the nuisance and simply buy OpenOffice.org. It will form part of a growing list of Microsoft acquisitions including several erstwhile competitors, a considerable number of prominent politicians, and a few small governments.'"
It would have been funnier if this hadn't been exactly what Symantec did with Sygate (buy it to kill it)..
My sig is too lon
Ah, April 1: The one day of the year that the internet becomes completely useless.
Modern copyright is theft of culture from everyone and it retards the progress of the useful arts and sciences.
I'm drunk and have bad karma but I think I might have 1st post...
If you're not paranoid, then you're not paying enough attention. - Unknown, Slashdot
For those of you who think this is an April Fools Joke, please note, it's April 2nd somewhere in the world.
Ignore the "p2p is theft" trolls, they're just uninformed
ROFLMAO People are wondering why I am laughing so hard! Damn but they just don't get the point of April 1st.
You know, if it weren't April 1, I could actually believe this story.
"Tu fui, ego eris" - Virgil
...that's the most believable story I've read today...and there's something really sad about that fact...
scary thought. ...
Apple's news....They just bought out Micro$oft.
Seriously, its about time, I mean, everyone knows that Microsoft is evil, at least now they have the balls to admit it. If we're lucky, during the next few days, Microsoft will buy out every major open-source project out there. And maybe buy out Apple as well. Then we won't have to worry about drivers and such not working on our machines, becuase there'll only be one machine! Great days are ahead, I can tell!
Microsoft to replace Word with OpenOffice after everybody at Microsoft said in front of Bill Gates,"Wow. This is so much better than Word. I wonder why we didn't switch earlier."
Ooo man the floppy drive is broken. No wait. The computer is just upside down.
Wouldn't Bill Gates prefer to buy something that represented a product that was actually better than his? Has he ever USED OO.org? Try typing in special characters using the keypad some time. Will it shift the cursor back and print nothing? print the character and delete the one before it? Work as planned? Do nothing at all? Call the space-aliens and tell them earth is ripe for the plucking as everyone struggles to use the bloated file formats? It's a mystery!
Including this one? It would make sense.
Finally, maybe now those idiots at OpenOffice.org can finally get all of those MS files to work properly in their software. How many years have they been working on this and they still can't get it right. WTF have they been doing?
End transmission.
neener neener
"...and a few small governments."
I didn't know the US Justice department was that small...
Please, for the love of god, stop with the ponies. I just read all of digg and I'm bored. The ponies and pink shit is killing me now.
that one of his products was so bad...
The saddest part is, this is the most believable story yet.
"terrorism" and "pedophilia" are the root passwords to the Constitution
He should have bought the GPL instead.
"Buy him out, boys"
:-p)
I didn't get rich by writing cheques!
(Apparently this won't work for linux users, fittingly
There is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men. -- Boondock Saints
Now hopefully the wonderful, neglected KOffice will finally get the attention it deserves from the OSS community.
I am trolling
Pleaaase Slashdot editors, on my knees I beg you to remove the pink color. It hurts our eyes reaaally hard. April Fool's Day is supposed to be a joke, not a torture. Please be clement.
Who would want something free when you can pay for it? I mean, how well can something free work when microsoft spends millions in research and development creating that fantastic suite known as Microsoft Office.
Finally, OpenOffice will get all the research it needs to be the best. Maybe Microsoft will smarten up and buy Linux next, I hate that crappy OS.
Any Program or OS that doesn't crash must be a rootkit, that's the only logical explanation!
I Lost My Virginity While Waiting for BSD to Compile.
Man... If that's all you can complain about then consider youself lucky. I once had Microsoft Word restart the whole computer.
Ooo man the floppy drive is broken. No wait. The computer is just upside down.
This is the only thing that's really keeping me from switching over completely to openoffice. It's sort of annoying that my old legacy xls files and doc files get indexed by google desktop search, while everything new I create and everything I re-save in openoffice (ods/odt) format, doesn't get indexed. I really wish google would get with it and fix that. Like, today. OMG they don't even support an OPEN SOURCE format LOL!!!1
Disclaimer: This post is entirely serious and has nothing to do with invisible pink unicorns.
it's a blue bright blue Saturday hey hey
Serious sites should play more jokes like this, but on other days of the year - that would really freak people out.
Watch my YouTube atheist video blog (user NickGisburne2000) for arguments against religion
For the third year in a row, Urgo's list of April Fool's Jokes on Websites contains the most complete list of April Fool's Day pranks websites have created. Featured by news.com.com.com.. and Microsoft, the site strives to list EVERY joke site, and is updated every few minutes with new verified jokes.
Here is a sample, the twenty most popular ones:
mymsnsearch.com - fake (but hilariously accurate) search results
thinkgeek.com - USB Tanning Center, RFID Blocking T-shirt, Grow Your Own 1up Mushroom Kit, Caffeine Inhaler, and more
blog.outer-court.com - Google Rooms
gtachicago.com - gta chicago does not exist, (*hint check the whois info*)
tveps.net - Isaac 'Chef' Hayes not leaving southpark after all. Comes clean that it was a publicity stunt.
blizzard.com - BLIZZARD ENTERTAINMENT® PRESENTS BURGERCRAFT(TM)
iwantoneofthose.com - tiny device that downloads your brain's memory to a 2GB USB Flash Drive
bolloxcomics.co.uk - Myspace parody
wiebetech.com - 5 TB iPod
googlesystem.blogspot.com - Google Browser is finally launched. Installer 1.68MB
figuiere.net - int is_computer_on(void)
steampowered.com - VALVe purchased by Apple
slashdot.org - OMG!!! PONIES!!! (and pink layout)
ogrish.com - (NSFW) Bizarre Baby Born In Nepal
worldofwarcraft.com - Blizzard to put Wisps as a playable race for World of Warcraft.
gearlog.com - Laptop Lingerie: Bringing Tech & Pleasure Together
2600.com - 200600 google spoof
bungie.net - Bungie's next game, Pimps At Sea, progessing nicely for the Xbox360
forums.worldofwarcraft.com - World of Warcraft 1.11 patch notes leaked
theregister.co.uk - customise The Register to suit your needs - from blocking ads, to selecting the kind of stories you really want to read.
Belive in Technology and AMAZE yourself. -- RIP ZDTV/TechTV
the real april fool's joke in that story is that OpenOffice.org is eating at MS's profits lol
Wow... very funny!
n/t
it's a blue bright blue Saturday hey hey
Its been April 2nd for four hours here in sunny...uh, still dark Australia. And pink still isn't funny.
OK, I suggest everyone emails Cmdr Taco with a one word message:
"Subtlety!"
And if he doesn't get it, we should round up a posse to rivet a brass plaque with "Subtlety" engraved on it to his forehead.
Blank until
I don't use google desktop or open office, but this should help: http://desktop.google.com/plugins/indextheopenoffi ce.html
Mod me up to +5!!!
PLEASE!!!!
Halloween gag. Not an April 1st gag!
Saturday is April 1. Slashdot will be shut down. Sorry for the inconvenience.
void main( void )
{
bool aprilFool = FALSE;
int tireSome = 0;
char * slashdotStory = NULL;
while ( PATIENCE_LIMIT > tireSome )
{
slashdotStory = readStory();
aprilFool = isAprilFool ( slashdotStory );
if ( TRUE == aprilFool )
{
tireSome++;
}
}
visitOtherWebsites();
}
Begging people to use their shit and blaming MS for their woes instead of actually improving it.
Saturday is April 1. Slashdot will be shut down. Sorry for the inconvenience.
But what would the House Subcommittee on Proprietary Office Suites and Antitrust Accusations say about this?
Keywords: Antitrust, broadband, client, distributed, GTK, Java, OGG Vorbis, onion routing, open source, PowerPC.
So now we have a new "fork you" version we are calling OpenOrifice.xxx. Anyone want to contribute time or money?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_1%2C_2006 Wikipedia. Anything and everything you wanted to know.
Ooo man the floppy drive is broken. No wait. The computer is just upside down.
This would have had more of a shock value if it wasn't so obviously wrong. Monkies flinging poo with robotic hands? Plausible. Openoffice.org being bought? You can't force a purchase of a non-public non-profit organization...duh. The possiblity of openoffice.org being bought is ground _very_ well trodden on slash.
I could understand MS chucking Access into the dumpster when the bought Foxpro, but have to admit that I don't understand the current situation. I cannot see the sense into pumping hundreds of millions of dollars into a failed product like Access when has owned Foxpro since before Access became common.
I wish Microsoft COULD (and then WOULD) buy all rights to current OS projects or bribe enough people to get laws passed banning OS in its entirety. No, I'm not kidding. This isn't an add-on to the April Fools joke.
09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0 SU CK IT MP AA
Slashdot forges forward on April Fool's day with a slew of half-assed stories that seem completely implausible in an attempt to "fool" the masses. It seems apparent that they've misunderstood the point of the day, churning out endless crap rather that crafting a well thought out april fool's joke. The key to a solid April fools joke is creating something that people would actually swallow. Painting everything pink and going "ZOMG" doesn't quite fit in that. I'd challenge you next year to actually put some thought into it. This idea seems the result of a drunken kegger. You might craft various sources, maybe set up a few fake domains with stories on them to really build up the believability.
The OpenOffice development team announced today that they had formed a new development team to work on a fork of OpenOffice, which will be called OpenOpenOffice. The team leader was quoted as saying, "We will use the profits from the sale of OpenOffice to continue the tradition of excellent open-source office software." Richard Stallman disparaged the new project, stating that "It's not free software."
Oh God. So scary.
I love Bill and everything Microsoft but I am not sure if I will be able to use this software until it retails for at least $599. AFWIW, I think I am having Bill's child, even though I am a man, and ever since cowboys have come out of the closet I am OK telling people...
This would be funnier if in real life this wouldn't make Linus Torvald's so happy!
Does this sig remind you of Agatha Christie?
Thank you. I was just lazy. That will do nicely.
it's a blue bright blue Saturday hey hey
Asked if this meant that he was abandoning the Free Software Crusade, RMS replied I still think that Open Source is a Good Idea(tm), I'm just tired of being the whipping boy of Linus and Perens and others who think that I'm too radical. If they want Open Source, they can have it, but they're not gonna have stickly Dick to slap around any more.
When asked about his new 'toys', Stallman only said "The foundation needs these things to do good lobbying, and we finally got a donation big enough to allow the purchase. There's nothing untoward going on here". In response to further questioning on the line, he walked this reporter to the door and butted him out with his newly implanted horns.
When told about this new development, Perens threw a chair at this reporter and screamed "I've killed Open BSSD and I'll kill Gnu too!!" then chased him off the grounds with a smoking barbecue fork.
When reached by phone, Linus simply said "Yeah, whatever. I'll deal with it tomorrow".
Sometimes boldness is in fashion. Sometimes only the brave will be bold.
The reason some people do not understand April 1st and other days of signifigance to the Westernised world is because those days are just that, Westernised. Just try saying to somebody in Eastern europe (and even northern and central europe for that matter) that opening an umbrella indoors is bad luck, they will look at you like you are stupid. I know I have had this happen to me. Same for the number 13 and so on. So please do not flame those that do not understand that these are jokes.
In related news, stock prices of local furnish supplier in Redmond skyrocketed due to frenetical activity of Mr. Steve FuckingKiller Ballmer.
News at 11
* Man dies when giant pig flies out of his...
* Rosie O'Donnell posses for Playboy.
* M$ GPL's Windows.
Why doesn't Bill Gates get that he can't win against open source with his old monopoly tactics? Open Office is open source, so we will just branch it and keep developing it and using it for free.
just throw a couple wads of cash at them, they won't bother looking into any wrong doings.
Come on it will be funny!
Just a note, there is still a little bit of pink left on the site since I guess the extension doesn't change everything.
...buy 'em!
he might as well buy all of Earth while he's at it.. because there's always going to be something or someone that "cuts in to his profits" simply because they want the majority of people, especially poor people, to actually use software.. GOOD JOB BILL!! Yes, PLEASE DON'T LET THOSE DISGUSTING POOR PEOPLE USE YOUR SOFTWARE!! GEESH!! WHAT HAVE WE BEEN THINKING ALL THESE YEARS?!?! THEY DON'T DESERVE TO USE A COMPUTER!!! BECAUSE THEY'RE CUTTING IN TO YOUR PROFITS!!
*plays the Apogee theme song music*
Don't give him ideas!
mmm ROFLSANDWICH. just thinking about it makes me hungry
GENERATION 26: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation.
Disclaimer: This post is entirely serious and has nothing to do with invisible pink unicorns.
Erm, like DUH.. If they're y'know kinda invisible, then how d'ya know they're pink?
April Fools!
He knew he had no FP.
Who's the rube now, rube?
A blog about stuff.
cuz they tole me.
Don't the invisible pink unicorns talk to you, too?
A blog about stuff.
Now everything about Office 12 makes sense. Maybe that's where the 60% of the code that had to be rewritten really is?
How can one tell whether something is really on MySpace or a parody of something on MySpace?!?
My sig is too lon
'Cause he seems to have bought me out, too!
Creative misinterpretation is your friend.
First of all, add my name to all others here who have expressed their strong sentiment concerning how GAY slashdot has become with this color scheme. I was expecting april fools, not slashback mountain.
2)Why all the subtle attempts at hoaxes. Not that MS buying openoffice is believable, but we all didn't laugh (yes i speak for everybody). Why dont you go all the way. Like, MS patents Linux and employs Trovalds par example?
APRIL FOOLS!
sic
reminds me of http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29130
Nah, works just fine. Use mplayer and download the crappy win32 drivers. Funny thing is that it works better under X than it does under windoze.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
Is this for real?
It's "you're".
And to the GP, it's "its".