Slashdot Mirror
Programmers Ain't Gettin' Any
Szoup writes "Wired has online a piece (no pun intended) under their culture news about how the sex life of tech employees -- mainly programmers -- suffers due to the demands and amount of time their work takes away from them. Like I needed to be told this?" Update: here's another take on the subject from newtimesla.com.
Yea, I hear they exist, but I am still to see proof, or at least local proof. NO geek girls are located in my area, there are only a couple computer nerds in the first place, and I seem to be almost a leader. It's a sad sad world. My point, there may be some, but not many, and the diaspora of geek girls seems harsh on my area.
Your Momma's so fat she makes emacs look like nano!
Frankly, I can't imagine that there are a whole lot of geek girls out there hankering for jobs they're not qualified for so that they can fulfill some recruiter's misplaced crush or be ogled by a staff of trolls.
Another VaTech CS major here....the wierd thing is that in my two years here so far I've managed to actually have a social life outside of the CS department but never meet anyone in any of my classes....and you are right....there are cute CS girls....they just generally don't bother with CS guys....
A recently dumped CS guy who's bored at work
Y'know, I have NO sympathy for you... "I'm lonely and shy, but I'm afraid the woman who likes me might not be young or pretty enough for me".
It sounds like you're not getting any because you are too busy looking at pr0n and looking at models to even notice when a worthwhile real-life woman comes your way. My first serious girlfriend was 15 years older than me (I was 21 at the time), and though we broke up, she is still one of the most amazing people I've ever met.
Just because a woman is 40 does NOT mean she is married or boring. I know plenty of single middle-aged women who are active as artists, writers, and musicians (everything from poetry to punk), travel a lot, are smart, witty, and funny, and REALLY REALLY good in bed. But you'd never notice, because, gee, you are too busy living in the whirlwind excitement of programming, playing computer games, and listening to cool music.
hey "skywalker"!
looks like we have 2/5 of the CS girls at tech (according to egon) on this post now! and.. i wouldn't consider either of us all that bad looking! and egon, if you read this, she's right!! there ARE some good looking girls in the CS department, all you have to do is look around! it's not hard to spot us in the classrooms since we stick out like sore thumbs in a sea of male students. also, tech is a great school for parties!! you can meet LOTS of girls there, you ARENT doomed because you're a CS major, you're doomed because you're cynical about being a CS major.
I haven't lost my mind. It's backed up on disk.
Yup, the 3rd type can be the best. My GF is a Math/CS double major, isn't quite as geeky as I am, but hell, her nick is smiley if that gives you some idea of her character.
Doug
Venn ist das nurnstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ya! Beigerhund das oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
Oh yeah? You think your CS classes are so bad? Try
placing out of the first semester and taking
second semester courses in the fall. The
permanent-6-month-offset means you're classes are
full of a few bright kids (all guys) and a whole
bunch of flunkees (all guys).
What did you eat today? http://www.atetoday.com/
Spending money on women can be a good thing. I bought a Dell Inspiron 7000 last November and boy did I get some! With some women, bigger is better. And when you bring home a 15-incher, the rest takes care of itself ;-).
Heh... of course it's different, as long as you're coding for yourself!
When I'm not busy programming for work, or *ahem* socializing *ahem* with my fiancee, I'm usually writing my own software. Right now, I'm developing an Intellivision emulator for Linux. :-)
(That is, as soon as I unpack the computer. We just moved into a bigger place so that we can move the computers out of the bedroom and have more room for both computer and bedroom fun.... ;-) )
--Joe--
Program Intellivision!
This thread cracked me up, you guys/girls. The best part is that it's all public and you can't retract ANYTHING!! :)
I noticed your sig includes the name "Skywalker" and I'm curious if you've heard of the Mark Hamill Entertainment Site maintained by my sister. Probably not--I know there are lots of MH fan sites, but who knows?!
arrrgh.. i feel terrible now
:-(
:o( it's a trying time for us cs majors. we're struggling!! and it's not a good thing.
that was my First Post to slashdot. arrgh. i didnt know EVERYONE went here. arrgh.
well i guess my secret's out.. im a sexually frustrated nerd.. and yes, i was exaggerating when i said that about the girls in the CS class.. some do look pretty good. well i hope you guys dont hate me now..
in conclusion.. i wish i hadn't written that first post.. but look at all of those responses underneath.. wierd, huh? i thought i'd get first post. argh. well, im sorry everybody.. especially u, T. dont hate me, pleeeeze!!!
Well I'm a virgin until marriage type of guy .. and my girlfriend is .. well, not necessarily begging for it, but she is convinced that she wouldn't stop me if I wanted it from her. There are plenty of things we can do to stay occupied, however, and there is certainly nothing wrong with waiting for marriage.
People who are all about "sports, drinking beer, and getting laid" are not any more well rounded than people who are all about "hacking, Quaking, and geeking out". What they are is more socially adept. Sorry to say this, but sports, drinking, and getting laid are generally social events. People who do this a lot, are going to be better at it.
Does it mean that we are worse at being romantic, and caring, and good in bed? No, certainly not. Does it mean we're worse at picking up chicks at bars, and generally socializing? The answer is, saddly, yes. I believe that a widespread lack of social graces would lead people to think that we're not as well rounded as other people, when in reality the problem is that most geeks aren't into the same things as the people who are assuming we're not well rounded.
- Dan
despite the impression that this story is a 'non-issue' (after all, any job that places greater demands on your waking hours will curb your opportunities for R&R and that is each individuals decision whether they seek balnce or not), I was temporarily pondering over the percentage of guys or gals that get immersed in computers simply cause they ain't "getting any" in the first place. Snowball effect once you start introverting your lifestyle. You do what you know. blah blah blah. get off the box and go out and get some. My awakening was a girlfriend that turned me on... (and introduced me to computers too!)
I am a woman. Hope I could be referred to as a hacker :)
:) ) simply because I don't know any girls at UC Berkeley that hack /anything/. I'm sure they're out there, but I just haven't met any of them, though I have to admit that I don't have much of a social life, as I just keep working until my bf reminds me to stop and eat or something. Signifigant MOTAS's are essential simply to keep one from working /all/ the time. Now I have a life, and a job too :)
but to be truthful, there aren't that many out there. I may have to room with a guy friend (of course there's always my boyfriend
Lea
Time is Nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once... the bitch.
well, I think whether you're single or not has a lot to do with your attitude, Egon. I'm female, and while I'm not single, and haven't been for a while, I can tell you that there are single, attractive (as far as the guys tell me what is attractive.. personally I don't really notice or care at all) and smart women out there. Not all of them will be CS majors, but there are people who are interested in a lot of things, and chose to pursue something besides CS. I have a mechE as a bf, and he teases me about loving to hack, and I tease him right back.
I guess all I'm trying to say is open your horizons! we are out there, but it's quite true that you'll stay single for the rest of your life if you always act like that. for now I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but if you act like that, trust me, you won't get what you want.
Lea
I also go to VA Tech (majoring in CS), but the dilemma I have is that I don't think they're any girls left in my classes; there were some in previous years, but they all seem to be gone by now... Is my only recourse to take Sociology and the like?
Alex
---
Alex Bischoff
HTML/CSS coder for hire
I haven't got some for over a week -- and I'm married!
---
I think a lot of geeks are like me - rather frightfully keen on finding women, but without the tools it takes to locate them. I'd say I know less than 20 people who live in the same city as I, since I spend most of my time typing stuff in an office with few people in it (and no women at all).
Between 1987 and 1991, I ran a local BBS that had matchmaking features. Although there were about ten men for every woman, I managed to date and meet a decent number of girls. Life was good. Sadly, the world of the Internet seems to have made us closer to people in other cities and states than ones on our own back yards. For instance, I created Wonderful Women of the Web [ http://www.wonderful-women.com/ ] to showcase the talents of interesting women on the web. Naturally, I did manage to get close to a few women that way, but all of them were thousands of miles away. Through mailing lists, I managed an intense flirtation with a very shy but sexy girl in Canada, but she vanished abruptly before I got to meet her.
So online flirtation used to work far better than it does now. The Internet's great for information, but lousy for anything requiring physical meetings. In theory, with more women going online, things should get better. But in practice, physical distance winds up keeping people apart.
I think another problem is that we don't get well-rounded views of people - we're all in our little niches here on the net. We can discuss geek stuff here, digital video on my digital video forum, etc, but there's no place where we can get together as people.
Thoughts? I got the resources (T1 line, etc) to set up something if I had some good ideas as to what it should be.
D
----
What platform you got? Bed, dining room table, stairs, boss's desk :-)
A little planning goes a long way...
...depends on what you're trying to produce.
hmm. well. now that I know that what I want is $$, I guess I should go dump my bf for someone who makes more $$, yes?
:)
yes, money helps grease some wheels. it is hard to be romantic if you're not eating or worrying about the rent. however, what I really want and need is a little bit of time and affection. I don't give a damn about money or fancy presents, except as a token of thoughtfulness (and I like no-cost thoughtful things much better). I'm sure I'm not alone, especially in the geek community. Not only do we make our OWN money to buy our OWN toys, but we are not trophies.
most of my guy friends agree that we're the best kind
Lea
being a CS major, there's like 5 girls in my whole class at Va Tech... and 4 are ugly... :-( damn... well, at least i'll have a good job.. even if it means i'll be single the rest of my life.. oh well, it's a compromise, i guess...
;-) please dont call me pathetic.. u know you were thinking it, too...
Maybe if i'm famous like Gates (or Rich like him) women wouldn't look at me as a 'programmer', but rather as a 'moneybags rich guy'. eh, worth a try..
Why would that be important? (It's about 50/50.)
I can't be the only techie who works normal office hours. I'm out of the door every day at 5:30PM. I've only done overtime once, and that was grudgingly. I don't live to work.
about my time on the computer or our sex life.
:)
I just need to inflate her once and a while
I don't believe in 14 hour days, and 7 day weeks. I work to live, I don't live to work.
-Master Switch, one more element in the machine
What makes me a nerd:
What makes me "not nerdy enough:"
What makes me "not nerd-like at all:"
Well, do I have any hope in finding a gf? Will I? Am I too reclusive? Are my interests too limited? Who knows?
I agree, sue.
what is this guy THINKING??? so far, the only thing I have gotten out of being female is the odd bit of sexism. I may be unusual, but it's not a helpful thing, in many ways.
we shall see what happens when I need a job for more than a summer...
Lea
When I saw the subject ``Quote from Hackers'' I thought it was going to be ``I hope you don't screw like you type.''
I haven't quite figured this one out. My roommate and I go out to the local bar/club and these are the kinds of guys that we find:
1) Geek from out of town who is in town on business and looking to get some before he heads home. Has buddies mention his salary in passing. Thinks that geek girl (aka "me") will be impressed and really care.
2) Non-geeks. May be cute or not so cute, but usually have occupations such as car salesman or roofer and hobbies such as football and picking up chicks. Usually get a blank look and a comment such as "so you're pretty smart, huh" when the topic of occupations comes up.
Of course, being in the realm of IT you would think that the IT office would be the ideal ground for the Geek Chick to find Geek Boy. I say, it isn't so. At my office, there are 2 kinds of men:
1) Much older
2) Married
(and usually both apply) Good thing that I've got my array of local friends not from work or I'd have no social life.
And then there is the eversopopular Internet. There is a plethora of Geek Boys to be found, and they usually propogate in areas such as Slashdot. However, finding the Mr. Ideal Geek Man through these methods can be described as arduous and slow. This is because of the types of men found on the Internet.
Type 1. Far away
Type 2. In the same town
Type 3. In a different town but close enough that I might drive by there sometime.
Obviously, type 2 is the ideal to find, although there have been many couples who found romance with type 3 or even type 1. Once a guy is found who is type 2, then they fall into these categories:
A) The I don't get any normally, so if you're cute wanna come over? The answer: bzzt no. I can get banged any day of the week, you're nothing special.
B) The I'm married but unhappy so looking for some extra loving. The answer: bzzt no. Geek chicks with jobs don't need a sugar daddy, and again - I can get banged any day of the week, you're nothing special.
C) The geek at first but after he finds out that Geek Chick is cute, turns into type A. What happened to the Microsoft/Linux debates? The interesting discussions on the current techie news?
D) The sickening sweet romantic geek who is in desperate search for a girlfriend, but is actually just looking for someone to follow like a puppy dog. Will joyfully send romantic little text pages back and forth all day, but eventually becomes a little too clingy. Usually passes the intelligence test and half the personality test, but usually fails the "little something extra special, that is usually a combination of the personality/intelligence/looks". Usually ends up as "just a geek friend".
E) The hardcore geek man. Will joyfully discuss anything computer related, and strike awe in the hearts of anyone aspiring to be a True Geek. Unfortunately, the hardcore geek man strives only to be Mega-geek and has forgotten the female side of the species. All sexual hormones have transfered into the computer hardware somewhere and are probably residing in the form of binary code at http://www.sex.com.
Obviously, if the only way to meet Mr Ideal Geek is through the Internet, the single Geeks need to get out a little more. Geek Chicks ARE out there, searching for the Geek Man, but are failing to find them. Not all Geek Chicks are ugly or taken! Some are just a little pickier and are trying to find the right combination of Geek.
:)
It ends in "x". It's gotta be a new UNIX kernel.
High correlation does NOT mean a direct relataion. It means that the two facts occur with great frequency.
-
ping -f 255.255.255.255 # if only
I believe that a widespread lack of social graces would lead people to think that we're not as well rounded as other people
And precisely WHICH social graces would these be?
OK, here's where I'm coming from. I'm female, first of all, and I'm also bi, and from college onward I haven't had any real problems with getting a date (other than the occasional crushes on gay men and straight women, but that's neither here nor there). My boyfriend (student-geek-in-training) and I are about to celebrate our one-year anniversary at Pennsic.
I did get the "chance" to see "how the other half lives," and I don't like it. I don't call the truly BAD pick-up lines I've received in the past from less "geeky" sorts "social graces," I call them rude behavior. I also don't see a whole lot of "social grace" in an older guy taking an underage girl to the bar and getting her drunk in the hopes of "getting some" later.
Not to say that meaningless sex and/or sex with someone who is "just a friend" and/or one night stands are inherently bad (I've experienced all three). But from my experience, most tech-types that I've known don't want something superficial, and some of them haven't figured out how to invest the energy in something that won't be superficial. And I don't call picking up chicks and watching football "social grace." Far form it.
In my experience, "geeks" have MORE class, not less. A pickup line that actually worked on me was "Do you mind if I flirt with you for a little while?" I didn't mind, and we're still together. "Nice boots, wanna fuck?" would not have had the same effect.
"Somebody exploded a letter-bomb today
On the other hand, it is possible for a geek to be both massively productive and in a wonderful relationship. At least, that's the impression I get from the diaries of Mr. and Mrs. Cox.
http://www.linux.org.uk/diary/
(for the one
I'm still in college, so I haven't yet been exposed to the full brunt of the Big Bad World. But from my experience thus far and what others have told me, to be both a hard-workin' geek and in a committed, healthy relationship simultaneously simply requires that one get one's priorities in order and learn to manage one's work. Only do what is most important at work--don't live completely by the seat of your pants. And recognize that there is another person in your life who is (should be) more important to you than you and your work.
It is possible to contribute significantly at work without living solely for work. I suspect that the 65 hour work week ethic is often more the result of low self-confidence and an "autopilot" approach to time management than any actual pressures of the situation.
PYT WOTL
Johnnie
I'm not a programmer, I'm a techincal writer. And I'm damn good at it. I may or may not go back to school for some programming "stuff" eventually (there is a nearby program in Computational Science that looks nifty and interesitng).
I'm not "hideous" looking, but I am also NOT AVAILABLE. I'm also young enough to be the daughter of the average staff engineer that I work with. And lemme tell ya, nobody has coddled me. I wouldn't put up with it.
So there.
"Somebody exploded a letter-bomb today
Well, c'est la vie, but keep in mind that your chances of finding such a woman sans bad personality are low. Women have to spend a lot of time and effort if they want to live up to this standard, and you can be sure that any woman who chooses this lifestyle must have some strong personal motives (not to mention no hobbies or interesting traits at all).
That was the unofficial school motto of my engineering college (the lib arts dept existed only to satisfy state requirements). The school bookstore even sold bumper stickers and pennants with that phrase on it. The ratio of men to women was about 3:1 when I was a freshman and most of the women were butt ugly. I went to a small high school (36 kids in my graduating class) and there were more average good looking women in my HS class than my entire freshman class at college. There were some women who I thought were ugly guys at first sight. After the freshman year, the number of decent looking women would decline because of:
The ones that stayed put up with a lot of crap from the guys at school: cattle crossing signs or horse trailers parked in front of the women's dorm, the frat papers suggesting the school could save money by letting the females graze on the football field, etc. The only guys that probably ever got laid were jocks, frat boys, (usually women from other colleges) and guys that were lucky enough to have a girlfriend from high school.
The article wasn't surprising at all
Huh?
/. (and the ONLY female programmer in our group), I have to object. I don't _want_ a job that I am not qualified for! I am as qualified as the men here, and have seen underqualified _men_ get jobs because of rapport with the interviewer ...
As a chick who reads
And for "if you're female then things are good.", I invite you to check out:
Educational pipeline issues for women
Women and Minorities in Science and Engineering
YS
"Arrr! The laws of science be a harsh mistress." -- Bender
That's an interesting idea, but how do you ask a woman from work to help you find a GF without sounding TOTALLY pathetic? I think I would like to retain what few shreds of dignity I have remaining to me...
And I think "goAtIt" should be a member function, I'm just not sure what object... And it should have some overloads, perhaps one that takes no parameters, (for when a chick object isn't available), and perhaps another that takes an int and the ellipsis operator...
Yes, I know... I need professional help.
>>>>>>>>> Kvort
-Don't mind me, I'm personality-deficient and mentally-impaired.
I realize that the majority of those involved in the computer industry are male, but the articles seem to assume that all of them are, and that the girls are part of the "beer-guzzling, prom-dating" crowd that has mastered sexual relations. Furthermore, the one article encourages male programmers to treat all women sterotypically - buy them candy, etc. - EXPLICITLY in exchange for sex. They seem to miss the point that sex is part of a relationship with another person, and not a commodity to be bartered for with gifts. Even geek women, and those in CS classes, were often judged first and foremost on their attractiveness, and then maybe on their skills and personality.
The articles and responses show that the main problem for programmes and the computer world is not the lack of sex, but the lack of ability to deal with the opposite sex as anything but a vehicle for sex. Maybe if women were seen as people, with full personalities and interests of their own (sometimes including technical stuff), then everyone would get along better and be much happier, sexually and in other ways.
cough-gulp theory meant it was hard to say....
about what you've decided.....thanks for sharing & it sounds good to me baby - lets shag!! heheheh
throw dinner parties (women like a guy who can cook).
really? Thats cool, cuz guys like a woman who can cook.
Opinionated Law Student Strikes Again!
"like Sting I'm tantric" -- Barenaked Ladies
If all you want is sex, just act like a dumb jock and drink lots of beer. Intelligence seems to frighten the tee-hee girls. Remember Barbie? "Math is hard!"
If what you want out of life is a deep meaningful relationship with a female geek, just shoot yourself in the head right now. Odds are you won't be the geek guy that hooks up with the one-in-a-million geek girl.
There were about 3000 people at DEFcon this year. About 100 of them were female. Of those women about 20 were geek girls with their boyfriends. The rest were just tee-hee girls that discovered geeks have money.
--- A Jesus Fish eating a Darwin Fish only proves Darwin's point.
I did notice, however, at the party following the concert, that the VA Tech men, who far outnumbered the women, were very, very friendly to to women in our group. Very friendly. Frighteningly so. :)
Anyway, I find this whole thread extremely delightful. Keep it up!
Actually, you'd be surprised... used to work at MS as a full-time employee... my sex life was never fuller...
;-)
... of course, those Jazz drives tend to chafe after a while
Simon
Coming soon - pyrogyra
Do they care to comment? How about care to get a cup of coffee?
:)
Heh... its been my experience that geek women tend to live anywhere other than where I'm living.
I'm starting to suspect that those female hackerz who do exist have abandoned Slashdot due to the prevalence of the stereotypical "computer geek" and the widespread ignorance of their existence.
My babe letting me build an erotic web site from our photo collection.
-ck
-- This sig is only a test. If this were a real sig it would say something witty. --
Yes, there are geek girls. This particular one carries quite an impressive resume: I started Carnegie Mellon University in Electrical and Computer Engineering with a double major in Cognitive Science. My final degree, though, is in Mathematics, with a concentration in Biomedical Engineering. In December 1995, I received a Ph.D. in the field of Neuroscience from Northwestern University. My thesis is entilted ``The Role of the Plant Properties in Point-to-Point Arm Movements: A Neural Network Approach''
I'm pretty fortunate myself. My fiancee is into computers (and likes to sysadmin, too), although she's a Geology major. (I'm an EE myself, but honestly, I'm really just a software jock. The last hardware I built used 7400-series TTL.) You can look outside your major and outside your career, you know. Just remember, if you're not looking, you won't find anything, and if you're looking but not finding, you need to change your search space or your search criterion!
--Joe--
Program Intellivision!
My babe is even letting me build an erotic web site from our photo collection...
Albino geek porn...
-ck
-- This sig is only a test. If this were a real sig it would say something witty. --
Hey CmdrTaco... this sounds like a great poll topic:
How many times a week do you get a piece?
None
1-3
4-7
7-10
Are you kidding? I'm Hugh Hefner!
Whaddya think?
Don't do this to me!!! it's bad enough that scores of people decided to make me famous by responding to my 10-line post, but PLEEEASE!! dont make me a fool at Tech!! im already in a big hole here, ya know.. :o( arrrgh
:-/
well, there's always engineering.. is it too late to change majors?
Just because a woman is 40 does NOT mean she is married or boring.
I totally have to agree with you here, totally. Where I go to college, there are plenty of interesting older women, plenty.
But . . .
I am not attracted to them. Totally not, absolutely positively not. One of my better friends at school is a 40+ year old woman poet/writer/musician, and she is wonderful. Do I want to get in a relationship at my age (20) with a person the age of my mother? Hell no. I'll tell you why.
I'll be the first to admit I have a rather odd preference in my partners, and older men or women typically don't have some of the traits that I am looking for in a love. (I could list them, but what would be the point?)
Of course I COULD find an older woman with the traits I find attractive, but I don't need to, because I've found one only slightly older (1 month, hehe, she's old).
Part of me just is happy with the woman I got, and I don't care if she's 20 or 200. But, if I lost her, I wouldn't look for an older woman to replace her. I'd find a woman who is attractive to me on her own merits.
Some people just don't like certain age groups when it comes to, uhh, mating. I like them like me:young, creative in their own way, and wackier than an Animaniacs cartoon.
Thanks for your time
Dan
The article is interesting, but I imagine a similar phenomenon would be seen in other careers of folks who are (in general) introverts dedicated to their work.
... much like the computer! Not great places for gaining social skills, though.
... What is interesting is seeing the primarily male responses to this article! It is kind of like a locker room in here, no? ;-)
/.)
There are a lot of similarities between the life of a programmer and that of a research scientist. I have seen scientists (molecular and micro-biologists) lead lonely existences, spending the majority of their time in the lab. But the lab is a safe place for the introvert
So this trend is hardly surprising
YS
(Chick who reads
"Arrr! The laws of science be a harsh mistress." -- Bender
Yes, mah brotha, I have seen geeks fall into the box out of loneliness, and it is really hard to come back out. But it CAN be done!
...introverting your lifestyle. You do what you know... :-)
True, it's never easy. The box responds to you, you understand the box, the box becomes your lover... Hmm, just realized my double entendre. Oops.
The Divine Creatrix in a Mortal Shell that stays Crunchy in Milk
The House Between - Original Sci-Fi Series
Except for porn stars who does?
I mean, 3 weeks out ever every month my wife to be (in 43 days, woohoo) have sex at least once per day. Sometimes I want more, but she's tired. Sometimes she wants more, but I'm tired. Sometimes we're just too exhausted to even think about having more sex.
If you show me someone who is 100% happy with their sex life I'll show you a liar, prude, or someone who's just plain nuts.
LK
"Hi. This is my friend, Jack Shit, and you don't know him." - Lord Kano
1) Some people rate sex too highly. Some people don't rate it highly enough.
2) Efficient in what terms? In orgasms per unit time, probably, but I can think of other measures that favor other activities.
3) Virgin in what terms? I've found that people have some strange standards for what "counts" as sex. In Lala's case, it sounds like a pretty conservative definition -- oh well, what he's willing to live with is his business.
Side) The trouble with generalizations is that they're always wrong.
*Sigh*
Those wacky kids these days!
Shower! I know more techies with horrible BO than I care to count.
Groom yourself! Brush your teeth! Jeez! Unless they're total freaks, women don't get turned on by IQs!
Also, get married to the first woman you can actually stand for more than 5 minutes, cuz guess what? You ain't gonna get any prettier through the years.
There are some of us out here who don't chase women -- or wish we were good-looking/rich/whatever enough to have women chase us. I.e., some of us are straight women and some of us are gay men.
:)
I suppose I have two problems with articles like these. First, they portray geeks as a collection of guys who have an tenth-grade definition of sex (the pinnacle of interpersonal relations, to which they can only aspire). It simply isn't so.
Second, it makes a whole bunch of assumptions that might or might not be self-perpetuating. For example, all geeks are straight males who never learned to brush their teeth every day whether they need it or not, still wear shoes with twenty Velcro straps apiece, and turn into quivering blobs of matter whenever social interaction is forced upon them.
I like reading the success stories out there -- about people who have had "relationship success" despite the fact that they find computers more interesting than most people.
-m
Pleasure is good. Sex is a great way to get to know people. Don't let guilt tell you that because it's fun it must be Long Term Bad: lots of pleasure can make for a good life.
--
Xenu loves you!
Never have dated a geek girl, though there have been a few I would have tried for if they hadn't been in relationships already.
Tom Swiss | the infamous tms | my blog
You cannot wash away blood with blood
Yet another female that reads /. regularly. I have to point out a few things.
Scan through the comments above. Right in the top five, there is one from a male student at VA Tech (my alma mater, as a matter of fact) saying there were no females, and promptly getting rather throughly replied to by several of said 'non-existant' females. Not to mention the post from the lady who is bi. all of whom made it past my comments filter, so even that's not an excuse.
Another thing. There is NO self respecting female techie, or geek grrl or however we choose to style ourselves that would take a job we were totally unqualified for. Not to mention, to be rude, if your school was that good, it wouldn't HAVE to have quota's on gender. Who are you kidding? VA Tech is prolly one of the better schools in the country for CS. And i know for a fact that they don't have a quota. They won't take you unless you are qualified. Period. End of story.
And one last irritated point. You admit to the fact that you will coddle underqualified chicks because they fit YOUR definition of 'hottie'. If these chicks have a clue (and they prolly do, if you let them) they prolly resent the living daylights out of you and your attitude. And also prolly don't find it worth arguing. Simply because it's rather prevalent. I know that my personal attitude (and i'll admit it's rude) is that if you decide i'm stupid on first sight, because i'm 5'4", and ex dancer and blonde, then you deserve whatever you get. And trust me, that won't be sweetness light and drivel.
it's pronounced Eunuchs.
Chuck
try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
There's lots of them. One of my best friends is one, but she is getting married in less than a month, so another one bites the dust. ;)
...is to remember that beautiful people are people too.
Sorry, I've seen so many followups to this article discussing strategies for "picking up chicks" and getting enough money to "keep them happy" that I think I have to make this point. Even one-night-stands will be more fun with a person than a sexual object.
--
Xenu loves you!
Is there such a thing?
For me, geek girls are simply gorgeous by default. There's just something about a woman in front of a Unix box that is just irresistible to me.
And, yes, I knew a geek girl once. A beautiful CS major from Cal Berkeley that hung out with me quite a lot while she and I were both interning with a rather large company that is about to become two rather large companies. She borrowed components from lab stock to make cool, small things like radios in her spare time.
But, alas! She was attached, and rather seriously, to another geek. Dunno if she still is....
Go to a meeting of some club, for example. They tend to be fairly small, so introduce yourself to the people organizing the meeting. Tell 'em you thought it sounded interesting and that you just wanted to check it out. (Don't lie - if you're only going to try to meet babes, your insincerity will come through and you will be shunned.) That way you won't seem like the weird new guy, and they'll probably try extra hard to make you feel welcome, maybe introducing you to people there.
And, yes, shower more than once every three days. Blacksburg, VA is hot enough that once a day should be a minimum...
In general, the rest of the world pays more attention to personal hygiene than the stereotypical geek, so keep that in mind if you do try leaving the CS nest...
As a programmer? Nah. Delayed release is an important part of programming.
--
Some keywords for the NSA in the Lord of the Rings universe: One Ring bind find Sauron quest Nazgul freedom
You could always get some Weight Gain 2000...
Speaking as a different than normal geek (I was in a frat. and played football in college) MOST girls are hornier than hell if you care to find out. The thing to do is the exact same thing as when trying to figure out a system, trial and error. Practice makes perfect, or at least gives you a better chance. Taking the first step makes the second a lot easier, ad inifinitum.
+&x
Well, :) I got fed up and did it my self, and had it running in about 15 mins (first time I opened the box.) When I dialed out to my first BBS it was a whole new world opening up, where I wasn't being looked down on because of my age. People respected what I said. Where as in school when I took a "computer class" working with old Commies, and apple 2 E's I would complain. This kind of discussion with the teacher stood out cause, most of the kids had never been set in front of a computer before. So this stereo type would stick. My advanced knowledge put me up a few rungs in there eyes, when it came to computers, however the same knowledge separated me from the group.
/. have, you then have a mate that's a budding geek.
:)
I was 10 when my father brought home a 286. He bought through work for $5,000. (terrible isn't it) When he waited about 6 months to put this thing called a Modem in (cause he was trying to understand the AT commands
You know how it goes, Girls will talk to a guy who shares the same interest, but what girl in highschool at the time used computers? (None at my school) At the time that 286 was the center point of my life.
Well in HS it grew even farther apart when I discovered the internet for the first time. I really started to stand out when I spoke of telnet, Archie, etc.
Well after a few years of me and my pc's (to make a really long story short), my wife landed at my doorstep cause, of a friend at the time tossed her out. We started talking, and realized we shared lot of the same experiences. Mostly of ex's and the brunt of how careless they where.
Now my wife knows little of what a pc is or does. She had never set down in front of one before I surprised her with a mothers day present of her own pc. She's now at the point of doing the irc, e-mail, and learning to make www pages. It takes some work but I notice, a carrot in front of a horse works better than showing the front door.
Heck yes, every geek I have met wants a girlfriend/wife that is a computer geek. (Only problem I see is they may want to swap my good pc parts for there:) )
I'm sure everyone of us with a SO has heard the complaint "you spend so much time on that thing, you never pay any attention to me/us" Easy way to solve that is build her, her own pc. Chances are she's not voicing it, but she just doesn't truly understand your fascination with it. But don't get trapped with the "well set it up for me" item. They love this, show them about readme files and instructions there in. And turn them loose. If they have a problem show them the resources to get the information, so there active in figuring out how to do it.
Once after that, they have caught the bug we at
As far as meeting that person, a wise friend once said to me "if you go looking for it, you wont be happy. Let it find you. It will. It will just take time." Mine ended up being dropped on my front doorstep
Just another Techno-geek lost in cyberspace.
Someone moderate the post one level above this one up... the author of it speaks sooth.
I am a NSV (Not Silicon Valley) programmer and a former employeer told me "it was not in his best interest in letting me get married because my productivity might slip" (meanwhile he's banging his secretary and a QA person on the side). Trust me, its hard to have any kind of life at 320 hours a month.
"[...] for a group of healthy college-age males, there was remarkably little discussion of a topic which commonly obsesses groups of that composition. Females. Though some hackers led somewhat active social lives, the key figures in TMRC-PDP hacking had locked themselves into what would be called 'bachelor mode.' It was easy to fall into -- for one thing -- as opposed to the hopelessly random problems in a human relationship -- which made hacking particularly attractive. But an even weightier factor was the hackers' impression that computing was much more /important/ than getting involved in a romantic relationship. It was a question of priorities. Hacking had replaced sex in their lives."
"[Hacking] was a mission. You would hack, and you would live by the Hacker Ethic, and you knew that that horribly inefficient and wasteful things like women burned too many cycles, occupied too much memory space. 'Women, even today, are considered grossly unpredictable,' one PDP-6 hacker noted, almost two decades later. 'How can a hacker tolerate such an imperfect being?'"
Thought I would tell the world, well ... the world according to johnnycal. I find that sleeping is a waste of time so when I am not programming I am with her. Good because she is a lazy bum that likes to sleep. When she does sleep, I sneak out and see my other love.....We live five minutes away from one another and her work and mine are five minutes away from our house, so while most are commuting (Bay Area), well you get the picture. I have many friends that haven't went on a date since graduating from college...I Pity the fools. BTW, Rob sucks .... just thought I would throw that in.
yah, I brake it all.....
First of all, do I note a problem in the algorithm here? The one that *seems* to imply that the only techie women are programmers?
...late... wife was a chem and radiochem lab tech, and I have good (female) friends who are physicists, psychologists, etc...of course, they're all sf fans, too....
...wife... *semi*-jokingly threatened to sue 'em for alienation of affection.
My
Then, of course, there's the other obvious conclusion: so, y'all make money (or are underpaid but salaried)...but have no time or energy for a partner, or to play with the toys you can afford with this money, or.... because you're working in a bloody *sweatshop* (air conditioned, unless that goes off at 18:00 - BFD).
At one point, while I was working for a Big Co., that shall remain nameless (but is a Baby Bell in the midwest US), my
Used to be, most people on call (y'know, what they did before pagers?), or working late shifts, got a shift differential (more money), and if you worked over 40 hrs/week, you got overtime. Salaried...they can say "whatever it takes", and not have to worry.
All the same kind of stuff our parents and grandparents fought, by creating unions to protect them from asshole managers and bosses (anyone wanna argue *that* statement, in 75%-85% of the case?)...but, we're "professionals", that's only for "working class folks",...and all kinds of other denial, as abused folks often do.
How many of you are *really* compensated for what you do...how much vacation, or comp time? Ha, ha.
How many of you would be *really* affected by capital gains taxes on all your Big Money stocks you live on (as opposed to put away for when you can retire, and have some money that's not enough to do much, and you're too old to do all that stuff you wanted to do)?
Hell, I'm paid "reasonably", and, based on the tax debates three years or so ago, I earn more money than two-thirds of the folks in this country...and I have, oh, $20 in stock earnings/year....
But unions are *so*, so...un-chic (says the mgmt of the two dozen or so companies that own 90% of all media, in the (not-so-liberal) media.
mark
Is it just my imagination, or are Wired really coming up with some drivel these days? You could write an article like this about any profession that involves long hours and high stress. Just change the examples round a bit. There seem to have been a string of such tabloid articles coming from their direction lately.
:-) I'm still working like a maniac to try and make a footing in a new country and we both seem to get on fine with a "once every few weeks" frequency.
Anyway, on the subject of sex - it was quite handy in my last job that my GF and I lived in two separate countries. We saw each other maybe for a week or two every couple of months. It worked out pretty well, as I was working like a maniac at the time.
Now I've moved to Sweden to be nearer her though and nothing much has changed
Is that more detail than you all wanted?
A little planning goes a long way...
1) Sex is not and cannot ever be overrated
:) but never ever try to push her. It will foster resentment and you'll never get anywhere.
:)
2) Yes masterbation is more efficient, but to (approx) quote from Robert Heinlein: "Masterbation is cheap, clean, and free from hassles... but it's LONELY"
3) I was dating a virgin 'till married kinda girl... and all I can tell you is respect her decision. Mine came around (turned out she was hornier than I was
On a side note, I've found Geek chicks are hornier than hell if you care to find out
Doug
Venn ist das nurnstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ya! Beigerhund das oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
You don't go scuba diving to look for giraffes. In my experience, you won't have much luck finding a girlfriend in CS, if only due to the male:female ratio there!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Much like a newborn puppy...
If you think combining a girlfriend with a tech career is tough, try having children! My marriage and my children are FAR more important to me than any career rewards.
That's why i work a 40 hour a week job. Yeah, i know i could make more money doing the all-work-no-life thing. But money and the thrill of geeking pale in comparison to the joys of actually having a *relationship* with my children. I've seen the 70-hour-week execs, and the sort of dysfunctional family lives they get. I don't want that.
---
Hand me that airplane glue and I'll tell you another story.
Wow, sounds like things are different in your neck of the woods than in mine. As I said, most of the best he-nerds I know were married or otherwise partnered by age 30. I can't think of any ugly female CS majors in my class, although a few of the men were funny-looking (but did all right in the dating game if they had other strengths). Perhaps at your school, the CS majors of both sexes were ugly and the jerks were more successful, in which case, congratulations!
Isn't that the truth? I'm 22 and in a similar situation with my GF (we were both virgins until our 20's too). She come over the other night to study French with me, and my roommate commented that "it's good to see you two doing something other than fucking." Gee, thanks... :)
--
Jake
Are you saying "You'll have the 'baby batter' on the brain"? "It's like going out with a loaded gun!!"
HAHA i lied there is text. anyway. i find balance in my life. i get into the office quite early, and leave promptly at 5 ever day.
In college, I worked as a DJ at the college radio station. I wanted to do something other than just code all day. The guy/girl ratio was 50/50. After college, I work so much now that meeting anyone (men or women friends) is increasingly difficult. I've found that making time to take classes helps a lot. I've taken beginning art classes from the local community college for fun, to use that other side of my coder brain. You meet people from very different backgrounds and ~70% of them are women! If you want to meet people/women, you need to make the time and get out in the "Blue Room" once in a while! ;-D
cpeterso
> my girlfriend wants to learn tantric sex. Will
> that affect my productivity?
Yes. Your forehead will swell with retained sperm and you'll develop exotic mental powers which will gain in strength in porportion with your period of not coming.
HTH. HAND.
> If you really want to improve your social life, try hooking up with yout local music scene. The parties are a blast! :-)
:wq
WH0 ASK3D AB0UT S0C1AL L1F3? TH3 1SSU3 1Z PU55Y. 1 D0N'T WANT 2 FAKE B31NG INT3R3STED IN TALK1NG 2 GIRLZ, 1 JUST WANNA B01NK TH3M!!!!!11
0H, && 1 GUE55 PART13S CAN B3 FUN, AS L0NG AZ THERES G00D WAREZ B31NG TRAD3D. G1RLZ AR3 DANG3R0US @ WAREZ PART13S B3CUZ TH3Y 3AT P1ZZA WH1L3 C0PY1NG D1SKS 0R BURN1NG CDS, && TH3 1NEV1TABL3 SCR3WUP 0CCURS. (3V3R TRY T0 GET M0ZZ3R3LLA CH33ZE 0UT 0F A CD BURN3R?) ST00P1D G1RLZ!!!!!1111
:WQ
------ ------ ------
ALL HA1L B1FF, TH3 M05T 31337 D00D!!!!!1
------ ------ ------
ALL HA1L B1FF, TH3 M05T 31337 D00D!!!!!1
:WQ
------ ------ ------
ALL HA1L B1FF, TH3 M05T 31337 D00D!!!!!1
------ ------ -
My girlfriend and I live an hour apart, and see each other only on the weekends. We go a week between 'encounters' and then have plenty of opportunity to make up for it. That's the disclaimer.
;)
Now the point. Techies, with their long hours and cranial leanings, are no different in the relationship department then any other cerebral-oriented discipline. Scientists, college professors, engineers... We all have better things to do than each other. For that matter, artists (arguably the most passionate profession, second only to that which is oldest) would rather create than procreate.
Why does the media seek so desperately to make us into asexual deviants, simply because we prefer to think about things other than sex. The average male thinks about sex what? 80 times a day?? What about above average? Do they think about it more? Or like us, do they think about it LESS???
We try to live lives of contentment, of productivity and of benefit to the community. We get gratification out of coding, seeing a system come together, and the occasional 'OhMiGawd!'.
Let's not be judged by the standards of the average politician - after all, WE don't expect THEM to think rationally, and WE don't GET interns.
-- What you do today will cost you a day of your life.
I will be 29 on Jan 9, 2000 and still be virgin. Anyone older?
--Where're all girls gone?
Members of the Available Sex?
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
that's one way to look at it. I always kinda envied bisexuals for that :)
:)
well, I guess I can get consolation from all the guys I work with. and my bf
Lea
Geeks' typical lack of focus on romantic relationships doesn't mean they're necessarily worse at being romantic than their jock-and-bimbo peers. In many cases, the only romantic skill that the non-geeks are better at is deceiving each other into believing they're in a romantic relationship.
From the LA Times update:
Top Ten Reasons Why Working at Microsoft Destroys Your Sex Drive:
5) You're afraid to get involved for fear everyone just wants free software.
I imagine this is being tacked on RMS's wall somewhere as we speak...
--sugarman--
Read down to the bottom of the NewTimesLA article, there you will find...
"Hey, Don, Head of Security! I don't give a rip about your stupid orders: BILL GATES' OFFICES ARE LOCATED IN BUILDING 8 ON THE SECOND FLOOR IN THE CENTER OF THE EAST WING FACING SOUTH. Damn that felt good."
ObOnTopic post
When you first start working 90+ hour weeks in this industry (any demanding industry), you have to sacrifice your sex life.
Later, when you mature a bit and get your life balanced out, you learn that spending money on women is much more fun than spending it on ALL the latest geek equipment. Balance means you buy some geek equipment, and spend some on the women.
I would say my sex life has steadily increased over the years. Now I have enough money to keep the women happy, and the social life is properly balanced between partying and geeking. Only sometimes do I miss having a 100% geek life, usually when I watch some young kid right out of school hack circles around me. But he doesn't have a girlfriend, that's my pathetic response.
the AC
Hemos is like...sci-fi fans;he thinks technology is cool, but he hasn't bothered to understand the science it's based on
mate, tell him to fuck off.
please, it's in your best interest.
you can always get another job. you work better when you're not horny as hell anyway.
nothing is worth sacrificing yourself for.
dave "sex? again?"
For an amusing take on the dating scene, see The Game (but don't take it too seriously).
Hmm.. I guess that's why there's so much Porn on the web. It's not those business execs that are visiting the sites.. it's all of the Computer Geeks trying to get off on their coffee breaks.
This is a good reason for Corporations to modify their internet policy for their computer programmers and *NOT* block porn sites...
I married a geekette. (Female Geek?) She loves computers, works in the wireless messaging business and the like. I'm working on my hardware certification at home. Our sex life is great. Just take heart, frustration makes it all better.
*grin*
I have found the best way to pick up chicks is to walk around with a football.
It does not matter if you are 5'5 and 90 pounds... chicks DIG this!!!
Mention that you "Play Sports" too.
It is untrue that male geeks don't stand a chance of finding geek girlfriends. I speak from experience, having spent 10+ years in computer science departments (mostly MIT).
Almost all of the high-quality men I went to school with are married or partnered. One he-nerd I know has had women fighting over him for years. He's average looking, but he's very sweet and intelligent. From my observations, jerks have a higher success rate as undergrads, but good guys do better thereafter. (I know a number of she-nerds who dated jerks as undergrads, but they didn't marry them and went on to date nice guys.)
Egon provides a textbook illustration of the type of guy who claims that it's impossible to find a geek woman to date. For starters, he insults the women, by saying that none or few of them are good-looking. I can't believe how many men tell nerd women to their face that nerd women aren't attractive. None of the guys I've heard say this have been model material themselves. Second, if it's impossible to find a geek girlfriend, how have other men managed to do so? Perhaps they treat women better than you do. Be a good engineer. Don't say that something's impossible if you can't do it, particularly if other people manage to do it.
This rant is not aimed at Egon. He's no worse than zillions of other guys I've met or heard of, and he didn't actually say it is impossible.
(For the record, I am now married to one of the many he-nerds I dated and am working in one of the few computer science departments with more women then men. (See my home page for details.))
Flame off.
I graduated with a CS degree and am now working as a software consultant. I don't do any hacking but I will occasionally jones and try to accomplish some arcane little task in C or scripting just to keep my UNIX skills refreshed (I quit academia for the commercial world and am now entrenched in Micro$haft products). So I guess I'm a geek girl/woman/grrl. Being on the opposite end of the ratio spectrum, one of maybe ten women in my UCSD program, you could say I had my pick. I TA'd a lot of classes and met tons of guys. But even with the huge number advantage the pickings were indeed slim. I'll assert that I'm not unattractive, just so I don't get lumped in with the 'ugly girls' category that presumably no one wants anyway, listed in an earlier post. I do think that most guys just weren't that interested. Or, they were trying to get through school and I heard 'don't have time' quite often. For a lot of them, a girlfriend *just wasn't a priority*. Then of course, there were the desperate/socially clueless ones. I received so many anonymous emails, some of them cute, many of them quite icky, one guy wanted to bestow upon me the gift of his virginity, another wanted me to wear black leather and do ...things... to him. NOw granted these were college age boys and I was an older student, but very, very, few actually just came up and talked to me or started a conversation like a real person. I became really tired of one-liners and averted eyes. I found it very difficult to get to know most geek guys. So I believe there was opportunity out there (I was single and wanted a man!), but it was very difficult to connect with the geeks. I ended up dating a PoliSci major. :/ (But my current sweetie is a geek and turned me onto /.)
Garth: "Say.....That's a UNIX manual"
Very good point. According to some theory, people do things they like and the things they like usually tend to be in the direction that makes them stronger, increases their chances of survival and reproduction, etc. So all techie's see a lot of hope and money so they do programming like crazy. People who can't program, usually don't go that way, get bored, go out, get laid. If it decreases our chance of getting laid, this thing cannot be that good no matter how cool/fun it is. Yeah this is a geek site, but so many comments are enough to show that this is a big problem. Most people complain about the number of female classmates. Some people oppose this by suggesting that they should go out and meet people from other departments. They are missing two points: 1) these guys (or a few girls) are not the "sociable" kind. Going to parties would be the last thing they would think of, so they are heavily relying on classmates for anything 2) even after graduation they are so much lagging behind in social issues (e.g., being 27 and virgin) that they need extreme help for every single thing. This is unfortunately a stable state. The more you work, the further you will be lagging and the more time you will have to work even more. Good luck to you all. I will DEFINITELY not work for a Silicon Valley company. I don't need that kind of money.
While this is a nice idea in theory and may manage to get you a gf, you'll never be truly happy because you'll have to continue pretending to enjoy these "other activities" you pursued in order to keep your gf. Worse case, you'll eventually quit doing these "other interest" out of boredom and your gf will leave you because you "changed" and "lost interest" in her.
Besides, geeks ALREADY have interests outside of Comp Sci. They're just not often "mainstream" interests.
TAKE THE RISK and actually invite girls to do the GEEKY thinks you really like to do. You'd be surprised to find that the offer to try something they've never done before will encourage a few girls to actually try it. Invite a girl to come and watch some Japanese animation (avoid the overly sexist stuff, of course). Or invite her over to drink tea and go swimming in your pool (geeks are often well paid enough to have these choices) listening to '80s girl rock. Invite her to come and see those '80s video game systems and games you've been collecting and challenge her to a game of Atari 2600 combat. Dates don't have to be the stock "dinner and a movie".
If she thinks this stuff is lame, then oh well, but if she likes you for who you are and likes to do the same things you like to do, believe me, that's a far preferred situation than forever pretending to like some grudingly selected "other intrests" that you really think is boring as all heck. Granted, the former case may happen a lot. Be prepared. But also be patient. Shakespeare was wrong; A life alone, staying true to your ideals, is better than finding a girl by becoming someone you yourself aren't happy to be. - The LasVegas Geek
Good observation. After all, what makes sex "viable" is the fact that "there's not any better thing to do".
People who don't code, don't have so much fun stuff to do. Why do you think they are partying, hanging out at places for hours, talk to everybody ?
You gotta slow down coding and let your brain get bored. You are missing a quite fun stuff
In the official cheer of Texas A&M University... WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!
Damn, makes me wish my woman was here. Summer classes suck for relationships =(
Demona's Law - "User data expands to exceed available bandwidth." ("User data" being pr0n, mp3's, vob's,
Gee,
We get complaints about the digital sweatshop (Long hours for the same pay). This is just another outgrowth.
Guys, learn to tell your boss _NO_. I've said it before, I took a job at 6% less pay, but went from 55 billable hours (read 60+ in the shop), to getting out of work at 5:00pm every day, a 40 hour week. Best trade I ever made
Charlie
-- 73 de KG2V For the Children - RKBA! "You are what you do when it counts" - the Masso
Face it, some geeks aren't meant to have significant others. I don't see how any woman in her right mind would want someone like me. If she could get by the introversion, monotone speech, dorky looks, inferiority complex, and obsession for computers , if the relationship progressed far enough, she would have to deal with my humiliating cocktail sausage-sized penis. It's not fun being laughed at and compared to eight year olds.
Oh well, at least I can drool over the gals at Danni's in my spare time.
That is one of the reasons that I quit, actually.
:-) Thank you, T. well, im glad you're amused.. hehe.. 'cos YOUR social life isnt on the line here.. school starts in only 2 weeks, btw :-O
::
:: frantically searches for tuition money
I have sex all the time :)
-I go to Rice, so figure out my email address
Ug, That is why we made Las Vegas.
They have "Ranches" for people who can't get any.
No social skills needed.
The Wired article was a load of rubbish. Someone must have had a deadline and no ideas. The LA times article was worth reading for its humour.
I've worked long hours as sysadmin, operations supervisor, and programmer. Yes, I spent long hours in the office including regular all nighters. Doing so, I got to meet two shifts worth of female co-workers. I had several short dalliances and one relationship of nearly two years with attractive, sexy women. I also had a relationship with a girl working in technical sales support for a supplier which was delightful. I'm been married to a girl I met at work for nearly ten years.
I managed to pursue other hobbies as well, which gave me more to talk about than computers and work. Consideration for others and a sense of humour go a long way where relationships are concerned.
If you can't meet any MOTOS, change your job or change your priorities. Or accept things the way they are. If you work that hard in this industry and you're any good, you can have a large say in your choice of employer and conditions of work.
If your boss tells you that getting married will affect your career prospects while he's bonking two on the side and you take that at all seriously, you're the loser, not him.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
-----------------------
Nicotine free Amish .sig.
> She laughed and I got free beer.
Dude, make girls laugh and they'll put up with any old crap. They'll even put up with you letting them sleep while you play with linux until four in them morning.
Stay away from golddiggers and go for nerd chicks or those who like you for yourself.
dave
I can't be the only techie out (t)here that manages to work like a maniac and still spend a lot of time with my girlfriend. It's not my sex life that suffers, it's my sleep life that suffers. :-)
In all seriousness, I agree completely with the sentiment that this is a worthless article on a trite topic. It may be entertaining for some (hehe, those geeks aren't getting any), but in general it's non-journalism.
I do know this. If you're working 15+ hours a day 6 days a week, don't go home and check your e-mail. This tends to piss your girlfriend off (or mine, anyway). Spend that hard-earned money on her--it's somehow more satisfying than buying another Palm(tm).
--
Riad Wahby
http://www.phonon.net/
Yeah, I think this idea that there are gender quotas in compsci is ridiculous. In one breath, guys bemoan the lack of geek girls, and in the next they dismiss the geek girls as unqualified poseurs. Gee, and now they're wondering why all the geek girls are hiding from them... I wonder!
The header says it all. I mean, I am, by all common standards, a geek- I'm a software engineer, I have a pentium3, a palm5, an 8810, a n64, and a gameboy....
;-)
So what?
I have a good job, I'm very good at what I do. I also have a 6' beautiful blonde girlfriend.
It's all about priorities- Sure every now and then I work 80-hour weeks- and I demand massive overtime because it shits my girlfriend, and my employers know they need me more than I need them. Mostly, I sleep in with my girlfriend, and I go to work, and leave berween 5 and 6 every day- if I have extra shit that needs doing, I do it while she studies next to me, or while she's at work. I also like to go out, get pissed and dance, and watch the footy (go the broncos).
The bottom line is, I put the _important_ parts of my personal life first, unless there's an emergency at work, and everybody's happy...
...Except for the last week, coz I need to get a massive shopping mall finished coz we have a huge launch soon. Can we spell s-t-r-e-s-s?
-Gfunk
Send lawyers, guns, and money!
there is a sensitive guy called Oesterreicher in American Pie?? i mean, all of us Oesterreichers (that's Austrians for you english speaking people) are known to be sensitive, but i did not know the word has spread. now i have to go see it :-)
if you are repulsed, then maybe you are gay. or there are really only painted, overdressed, or, to put it simply, gross women at harvard. i hate those. eeeew. go away. the worst part is that they often put on a LOT of perfume as well...
here is my tip: stop looking for sex and start looking for love. for a special friend who happens to be female at the same time. believe me, there are many more sweet females out there than there are decent men (when you look at it from the women's perspective).
many men treat their sweet girlfriends like crap and are proud of it. what does this mean for us geeks? it means it is eeeeeasy to be better than them - if you work on the hygiene thing, that is. you will find her. always believe in love. peace.
That sounds about right. Get the women to buy you a beer first, it weeds out some of the gold diggers. I got snagged by a digger years ago, she cost me a lot of money, in return for some not very good sex. But it was fun and kept me away from computers for a while, and led me into new things.
;-)
My current GF comes from a very rich family. I didn't know it at the time I met her, so I let her buy the first meal just to be fair. For the first week or so we were together we alternated buying things. I doubted she was a golddigger, since when we first met I was in my hardware geek outfit, old jeans and sneakers, driving my old car. Later I drove my new car, and had the suit on, and it didn't impress her much more than the first look.
And this weekend I've got to spend with her and her 'rents. Ugh. Yassa, Daddy Warbucks, sah!
the AC
Hemos is like...sci-fi fans;he thinks technology is cool, but he hasn't bothered to understand the science it's based on
I'm certainly no expert, but my understanding is that Tantra has to do with attaining enlightenment through sex. While there is certainly a LOT of sex involved with Tantric practices, the emphasis is on the enlightenment, rather than romantic love or pleasure/gratification.
The enlightenment might be great, but most folks really WANT the romance and/or the gratification.
Good luck to ya...
Me? I took out the work-aholism and I've sorta gotten myself to do "normal" hours. Thus I do have a normal relationship with my gf. She only hates it when I am late getting to places ;>
-
ping -f 255.255.255.255 # if only
Currently I work for a data processing department for a large lighting company outside Atlanta. I've been through the 80+ hour week stuff and saw a marriage of 23 years go down at least partly as a result of that. I've remarried and I live 2.5 miles from home and I always make it home for lunch. I'm 50 and I *always* have my afternoon delight. You only have one life and your employer simply won't love you back!
1) Sex is overrated.
2) Masterbation is more efficient.
3) She's a virgin 'till married kinda grrl. *grumble*
Hail to the Sun God! He is the Fun God! Ra! Ra! Ra!
MOTAS's = Members of the Approximate Sex?
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
Everybody likes to bitch about this problem. Personally, I've made myself a promise to shutup and accept the situation because my whining was annoying some of my buddies. Yes, it sucks to be us, so let our earning potential balance everything out. Life is not perfect.
However, we forget that the this chick thing is dichotomous. If you're female, and you're in the computer industry or you want to get in, then you're all set. It follows that I have to make this observation apparent because there are so few chicks reading Slashdot.
My particular university is tech-centric. I'm pretty sure it has female admissions quotas and also offers better scholarships to them. They also indicate your sex with a "M" or "F" on the marking sheets. Coincidence? No way -- the TAs aren't stupid. Well, not all of them. I used to write stories for a faculty newspaper about this subject, but they were all banned.
The HR guys at my first academic job placement said that any non-hideous female that applies for a job in Information Services will get it. He considers hiring underqualified women a "cost of doing business in the tech industry". Three companies later, I can see that this is definitely true. Geeks really like having women around, even if they have no chance (or no ability) to score. I have personally coddled underqualified chicks -- but they were hotties. You probably have too, but maybe you didn't notice.
So, all and all, if you're female then things are good. Perhaps the homosexuals are having a good time too.
One-handed?
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
If you can understand that subject line, then most likely you ain't getting any =)
:)
-- Unfortunately I understand it! But I'm married and still take breaks to be with my wife
I do my overtime work at home. One of the lucky ones I guess.
Steven Rostedt
-- Nevermind
Just wondering... Since the plans for Micros~1's
offices and Gates' house are public record...
Anyone have the time and the gumption to
Get them and whip up some kick-butt QuakeX or
Unreal or even Half-Life levels out of em?
Granted I only have Quake I & II and don't game..
but hey.. would be neat... Put the big evil
overlord in the East wing? was it?
Heh...
Just a thought
Friends don't let friends buy Compaq's. (Dell/Gateway... same same) You want a good computer? Build it yourself.
There is no such thing as equality. Object-oriented programming I can understand... but it is really messed up to go for object-oriented dating.
I seem to be the only one out of my little circle who this article describes fairly well :^/ And that's probably due to the fact I'm on the road almost all the time.
That notwithstanding, it's still a fairly low percentage.
Being a comp sci geek does NOT prevent you from having a great social life (with plenty of women). Just don't limit your interests to only computer and sci fi related things. Take some liberal arts courses... study a martial art (there was many women in my judo course)... throw dinner parties (women like a guy who can cook).
I am a geek through and through. My house is totally wired... my bedroom looks like a CompUSA exploded... but I have a great social life. All of my friends are wonderful, intellectually stimulating people, but only a few of them are computer geeks like me. Quite a few of my friends are artists and musicians. Hanging out with them has really sparked my creative side; I am discovering a interest in computer based audio/visual production. We will produce a few video shorts and even movies that include original animation and music.
If you really want to improve your social life, try hooking up with yout local music scene. The parties are a blast! :-)
Thad (a.k.a. Izaak when I have time to log in)
I'm a techie as well, recently married -- and we keep very active (once a day minimum). Then again, we got married three months ago, and we were both virgins in our 20's (believe it!)
;>
So, while this was once true for me, I managed to balance things out, although it's possible I've gone to the other extreme...
"You can never have too many elephants on your team."
The statements are true. A programmer's sex life does suffer at times. There is a trick to it though! In my personal experience, getting some has only been a problem *between* girlfriends. Once I have a girlfriend it's not that much of a problem. The trick is FINDING a girlfriend after a breakup. :) The workplace is pretty much out. With sexual harassment suits like they are now, despite the other problems that could arise, workplace relationships are not the best idea. Meeting chicks online is risky. Of the two that I have met... Well, I don't want to get into that. :) )
For me, as I am sure is true for most nerds, the club scene is out. Who wants to sit in a really loud bar mostly full of people that you wouldn't get along with? Also, the black lights do weird things with my CRT tan.
So what's left? My solution has been friends of friends! Instead of asking out a lady from work, ask her to help you find a woman. Surely they have friends. The best part is that if you work at a tech firm, there is a good chance that a lady you work with will know a nice geek girl that will understand what you mean if you happen to throw out a term like "hash table". (drool... 'Whisper code in my ear baby'
In the mean time, between girlfriends, there is always Internet porn.
Cryogenic Specter
btw, if none of the above will work for you at all, try this code snippet:
if (chicksClothes == ON)
{
if (removeClothes(&chick))
{
goAtIt(&me, &chick);
} else {
getOutOfMyHouse(&chick);
}
}
But... but... there's like... people out there man! And it's cold! Sometimes water falls from that big blue thing up there.
I have to go. Someone walked into my office and I have to pretend to be a potted plant until they leave.
--
what I'd like to know is how some one stublled on to this article. Did he got to a search site and tap in 'sex life technician'
"I just can't sit while people are saying nonsense in a meeting without saying it's nonsense" J Watson, Sci Am 288:(4)51
Everyone has to shoot his (her) own tiger!
... and some tigers are just NOT worth shooting
Oh dear god, yes! What Izaak above said is so true it almost hurts sometimes... Someone please immediately score the above post to +5 as "Damn Good Advice for Geeks" Heh... If more of the CIS majors here acted that way, I'd actually hang out with other geeks instead of the non-CIS people I do now...
If it weren't from Wired, i'd be surprised that anyone could get away with such a sloppy article
A significant number of them are virgins, or their only sexual experience has been with a prostitute,"
Error: "Significant number" undefined. All that means is that it's a nonzero number. You'd think they'd at least give some idea of what that number is, unless the number was too small to actually support the thesis of the article.
"They have all these fantasized ideas as to why this is going on, such as 'I don't have time to do these stupid things that girls demand to date them ... women want mushy stuff like candy, flowers, and candlelit dinners.'
So, despite the fact that it's an undefined number(certainly a far cry from "most" of the people surveyed), they go right ahead and start the next line with "They all have these fantasized ideas...", painting a picture of a six year old saying girls are "icky".
And.. of course: "While their better-rounded counterparts were having initial sexual experiences, these guys were developing new computer programs or getting major rewards from intellectual pursuits. By contrast, guys of average intelligence were more into sports, drinking beer, and getting laid, and therefore were better socialized in regards to dating and sexuality."
Yes, many people who pursued intellectual rewards in high school didn't spend much time and energy on beer, dating and sports. This makes drunken jocks "better rounded"? It would certainly seem to, at least compared to the image of the virgin chronic masturbator techies this article paints. It's funny though, from what I can tell those are the ones who considered high school the best years of their life, and are in a perpetual decline thereafter. What "significant number" of these "better socialized" people are involved in domestic abuse? And just because they screw doesn't mean they're particularly good at it. I realize I am also throwing around generalizations and stereotypes, but if that's all you need to do to present this "data superfluous, just reenforce stereotypes", then i'm throwing around generalizations and stereotypes with journalistic rigor!
All I know is, I, and pretty much every techie/geek/weirdo I know, is rather happily involved with someone. My fiance and I don't find conflict between our relationship and our technical pursuits. Quite the contrary, sometimes some hot monkey lovin' is just the thing to clear one's mind and fix that algorithm.
Another damned comic
+++ NO CARRIER
What about female hackers? Are they not getting any too? Any females out there care to comment?
--
Everything I know in life I learnt from
It's true. Since I've "hooked up" my productivity has plummeted.
Of course, I'm a much happier person! ;) Good luck!
--
After having had a girlfriend for exactly three months out of the last five years, I've become extremely cynical about the whole thing, which probably doesn't help my situation at all. Now, when I walk around Harvard Square (about 15 minutes from my apartment), I find the women physically attractive but socially/psychologically repulsive: overdressed, made-up, shallow, immature, and unbrained.
It's a very strange sensation to both want something and be repulsed by it at the same time. But maybe this is what I need to get my mind off women once and for all.
Where are all the good women? They sure aren't here.
Kyle
NP: Dream Theater, Awake
--
Kyle R. Rose, MIT LCS
[ home ]
Get away from Harvard and you'll find some non-messed-up babes who'll float your boat. But the ones at Hvd are really not brainless, they are just confused about life.
I may be single, but I go out to parties, bar and movies with friends (lately I go out about 4-5 times per week) and have fun.
When most of your life you knew no single girl or the one that are single are not interrested in you or superficial (must be tall, handsome, wear Tommy Hillfiger), it's no surprise I'm still single at 22.
Dressing well (depending of the occasion dressing well may vary greatly), having a job, a car, travelling, having friends and a social life, being independent, bright and knowing where you want to go doesn't garantee you to have a gf. It's more being at the right time at the right place.
Good luck!
And remember you're not alone.
You may also want to check this link
hey, I though high school was terrible, never had a girlfriend, but fancied plenty of them. Then there was college, arrggghhh, it was those feelings of adolescences again, but this time some gals actually fancied me for once...but I still didn't know what to do >_
And the scary thing, the article mentions that...guys 25-40 with no social skills.
I have a girlfriend now, been with her for 5 years, but I recall a year ago I was walking between campuses with a reasonably attractive chick whom I had known for about a year, and got on quite well, but left alone, it was like the firs date from hell...what the hell do you talk about?
I am afraid if left to find a girlfriend *again* I'd probably fail...
"I just can't sit while people are saying nonsense in a meeting without saying it's nonsense" J Watson, Sci Am 288:(4)51
What age women are you talking here?
When I'm in hack mode, the urge to masturbate goes to zero. Only when I run out of coding ideas do I feel drawn to the jpg directory. The same thing happened when I began a physical relationship with my girlfriend, but it only lasted a week. Coding binges can last two weeks or more.
you could very easily be the person to help her get out of that kind of trouble you know :)
---Got Coffee?---
Hold your horses, bucky....
DISCLAIMER: gross generalizations follow
I've seen two kinds of geek women in any sort of numbers: The uber-strong, self relient types who give a big, old 'FU' to the world around them. These types of women are fine for just about any type of realtionship, if they can put up with you. The second type is what I find to be the most common type: the one who wasn't popular in high school, and never got over it.
You know you've seen this geek girl...regardless of how attractive she is, how nice, how socialy adept she is, she still suffers from confidence problems from growing up. Even after going to college, and (hopefully) learning that there are a lot of people around just like her, she still sees herself as meek, and awash in a see of people who will pick on her.
If you date this woman you will be happy. Until she gets even the slightest incling that someone doesn't like her. Or someone picks on her...etc... be prepared to have to reassure her of many basic things. Heaven forbid someone actually says some bad about her out loud, then you're in a world of suffering for days.
Am I being insensative? Well, yes. I am intentionally ignoring the emotional state of the person actually experiencing the pain. My point is that if you pick the wrong geek girl, and I dare say that there are many like this, you cold wind up being more of an emotional crutch than a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Flame away
- Dan
Your productivity will definitely improve.
I've been messing with the Taoist spin on Tantric sex for a couple of months, and it's both mad fun and really good for your energy level. Besides, if you're willing to work at improving your programming skills, you shouldn't balk at upping your bag o' sex tricks.
On a last note, I'm generally in agreement with that other guy who said, "Who cares?"
Damn I love that series, book 9 & 10 were a bit much though.
There's a joke that's been circulating for a while that pretty much sums up the situation. I'm sure most of you have seen it, but I'll reprint it here for your convenience. If you don't like it, just give me a -1. :-)
-----
A programmer is walking to a pizza parlor to pick up some grub for a (typical) geek-out marathon. On the way there, he sees a frog sitting by the side of the path. As he passes the frog, the frog speaks to him in a sultry female voice:
"Hey! I'm actually a beautiful woman, but an evil witch has cast a spell on me and turned me into a frog! If you give me a kiss to turn me back to a woman, i'll be your love slave for a night!"
The programmer stops, picks up the frog, smiles, and puts the frog in his pocket.
A few minutes later, he hears the frog yelling from his pocket, so he takes it out again.
"Alright, I'll make it a month!"
The programmer smiles, pats the frog on the head, and sticks it back in his pocket.
A few minutes later, the frog begins to yell again, so he pulls it out.
"Ok, ok, I'll marry you and be your love slave forever, just KISS ME!"
The programmer chukles to himself and starts to put the frog back in his pocket when the frog says, "WAIT! What's wrong with you? I've offered to be your love slave forever! WHY WON'T YOU KISS ME?"
The programmer speaks:
"Look, I'm a coder. I don't have time for sex or a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty damn cool."
---
In every good joke, there's a hint of truth.
--GP
... in binary format! (Great code for answering "How was your day")
Sex - 100 - most significant
Beer- 010
Unix- 001 - least significant
Now, go forth in search for 111.
-m
The last sentence of the Wired article is ironic, given its context: "Money provides comfort, flexibility, and pride, but all by itself, money can deliver only a shallow kind of happiness." The irony is in what we are told as the alternatives: "sports, drinking beer, and getting laid". Right. Replace "money" above with these alternatives and you still end up with something banal. "Beer/sex/sports provides ... only a shallow kind of happiness."
The vices provide momentary pleasure, but the result is banal. Whether the pleasure comes from greed or lust, there is a point in one's life where one wonders, "is that all there is?". There is a point where there is despair in mere pleasure.
Perhaps there is happiness to be found, a happiness found in love that transcend body parts, friendships that transcend business, and a God that transcends everything else. The Wired article merely sets one form of pleasure against another. Happiness is to be found elsewhere.