Slashdot Mirror

It's clear from reading the comments that most of you don't know what you're talking about in regards to 4E. The rules are far more streamlined, although not to the absurdity known as SAGA. The classes are going to be balanced, but roles will be distinct. However, you will still be functional in and out of battle, even if you're bread and butter roles are mitigated for some reason. Also, no more resting for the night because the mage shot his wad at the first encounter (and burned through his spells). Your toons can even heal themselves to a point, so for early levels a cleric isn't even necessary.

A good glimpse into the 4E world can be found below for what I witnessed and more during the beta:

Part 1
http://www.aintitcoolnews.com/node/35776

Part 2
http://www.aintitcool.com/node/35799

Screenshots of the online system
http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2008/02/25/exclusive-gallery-du.html

The next Slashdot story with Episode II reviews was about a week before it opened, with raves and pans.

I think it's a pretty fascinating story how people and media companies are using the internet to promote themselves in very sneaky ways.

* Movie sites like aintitcoolnews.com routinely get "reviews" from movie companies trying to promote their own works (case in point, the number of positive pre-screening reviews for Be Cool, a really awful film)

* Paris Hilton's sex video leaks to the internet. Ooops! It gives her career such a boost that a second one "accidentally" leaks.

* Music companies, the sworn enemies of P2P file sharing, recover a lot of marketing data by routinely monitoring P2P traffic as a gauge of market tastes and artist popularity.

* The Blair Witch Project was famously promoted by creating bogus info sites, detailing the "legend" of the Blair Witch.

* How many people promote their own websites or products by submitting a story to Slashdot that casually mentions their site in the writeup? Too many to count!

aint it cool news had this a few days ago too...

as they mention: My advice, Punch, is not to believe bearded men on your television. For now, let's just call this one an interesting rumor.

aint it cool news had this a few days ago too...

as they mention: My advice, Punch, is not to believe bearded men on your television. For now, let's just call this one an interesting rumor.

I promised myself I wasn't going to get excited by Episode III, but that's a really good, appropriate title! Here's the AICN story with the logo, and here's the mirrored text:

Aside from the long-awaited revelation of the title of Episode III, fans had lots of Star Wars news to absorb and be excited about at the Star Wars Spectacular presentation at Comic-Con. Steve Sansweet, Head of Fan Relations for Lucasfilm, hosted the two-hour long panel, full of exclusive video clips and a number of surprise guests.

Much of the news centered around three simple letters: DVD. 2004 is the year to substantially expand your Star Wars DVD collection. While the Star Wars Trilogy is the biggest news for Force-fan videophiles, Sansweet announced the fall debut of Ewoks and Droids adventures on DVD. 20th Century Fox Home Video will release these animated adventures as well as the pair of made-for-television Ewok live action movies (The Ewok Adventure and Ewoks: The Battle for Endor) this November and December.

September 21, of course, is the release date for the Star Wars Trilogy on DVD. The presentation included clips of some of the bonus material found in the boxed set, as well as a first look at the animated menus that organize the wealth of information and options within. Jim Ward, Vice President of Marketing for Lucasfilm and Executive Producer of the DVDs spoke about the upcoming release, and announced that the epic feature-length documentary, Empire of Dreams: The Story of the Star Wars Trilogy, would appear as a special edited-for-television edition on the A&E network this fall.

In other DVD news, Sansweet confirmed a projected release date for the much-asked-about Star Wars: Clone Wars DVDs. The incredibly successful 20 chapters of the Cartoon Network animated shorts will be making their home video debut next spring, around the same time as the airdate for the final batch of Clone Wars shorts from Genndy Tartakovsky and Paul Rudish.

But before that, an essential George Lucas film will make its DVD debut. Sansweet took the opportunity to screen the theatrical trailer to THX 1138: The George Lucas Director's Cut , as well as premiere an all-new trailer to the Comic-Con audience. This video will soon make its way to the official THX 1138 website, which will soon be posting a theater list for the select cities that will be exhibiting the film prior to its DVD release.

On the Episode III front, the biggest news was the confirmation of the Episode III title, and the availability of a shirt with said title at StarWarsShop.com. Sansweet also welcomed two very special Revenge of the Sith guests: Producer Rick McCallum, and the Chosen One himself, Hayden Christensen.

[ Comic-Con International 2004 ]Fans in attendance also got a first look at Hasbro's forthcoming packaging design for Episode III product. The stylized visage of Darth Vader looms large over a chaotic field of molten lava.

Star Wars Spectacular debuted an advance look at two pieces of Episode III-related video that will be found as bonus material in the Star Wars Trilogy DVD set. "Episode III: Making the Game" went behind-the-scenes on LucasArts' forthcoming tie-in video game. An edited version of "The Return of Darth Vader" revealed the gleaming Darth Vader armor from Episode III and showed Christensen donning the armor for the Dark Lord's debut.

For an in-depth account of the presentation, including exclusive imagery and select video, check out the expanded coverage available only to members of Hyperspace: The Official Star Wars Fan Club.

This was on AICN at least a week ago. Let's stay on top of things, guys.

THE JENNY JONES SHOW
"I have a perverse sexual fetish"

Jenny: Hi, and welcome to today's show - "I have a perverse sexual fetish." Let me warn you, today's topic is on the distrubing side. We will meet three men who at first glance appear to be normal, sane, and well-educated but thier deviant addiction to the popular Internet website Slashdot.org and individual sexual perversions set them apart from you and I.

Audience: EWWWWW!

Jenny: Let us meet our first guest, Harry Knowles.

(Harry Knowles, webmaster of the popular movie rumor site Aint It Cool News, is escorted from the backstage area in a wheelchair.)

Jenny: Hello Harry. I must say, I have visited your site many times and am honored to finally speak with you. So tell us, what is your sexual perversion?

Harry: Well Jenny...I have never admitted this before...but...I'm sorry.

(Harry is obviously distraught.)

Jenny: Don't be. Does it have anything to do with your paralysis?

Harry: Yes. I once enjoyed a normal sex-life, but that changed after the accident which left me paralyised from the waist down and left me unable to orgasm.

Jenny: That's understandable

Harry: It gets worse. After hours of masturbation and ingesting dangerous amounts of amyl-nitrate, I realized only one thing gives me any semblance of carnal pleasure....

(Harry pauses.)

Harry (head in hands): I like to pour hot grits down my pants.

Audience: EWWWWW!

Jenny: Hot grits...as in the breakfast food..??

Harry (in tears): Yes. Hot grits as in warm ground corn. I like to pour them down my pants. It feels so warm, so tender...don't hate me, is it wrong for a man to do the only thing that pleasures him?

Jenny: No, no it is not. It is obvious this strains you.

Harry (smiling): Strains me? Oh heavens no! Hot grits are a wonderful lover! Oh, to feel her sweet carress on my lifeless genitals. It is that of the great muse, Natalie Portman!

Audience: WOOOOO! NATALIE PORTMAN!

Harry: Yes Jenny, I am a gritsman...and I love it!

Jenny: Well I am glad you have found some way of self-satisfaction in material objects. Our next guest, however, finds gratification only in the digital world. Signal 11, come out!

(Signal 11, posterboy karma whore of Slashdot, is escorted from the backstage area. He sits, legs crossed, in a chair next to Harry Knowles.)

(Somewhere in the audience screams of "-1, Troll" are heard. Signal 11 reaches into his pocket and withdraws a phone. The phone is solid black, save for the words "BITCHSLAP" written on it. He quickly hits the button labeled "speed dial to cmdr. taco" and converses briefly. Suddenly, the entire audience is quiet and Signal 11 smiles.)

Jenny: Hello Signal 11.

Signal 11: Hello Jenny. I am pleased to be here. Perhaps after the show we can go orchestrate e-commerce applications?

Jenny: Uhhhh....anyway, what is your sexual perversion?

Signal 11: It all stems from my inability to syndicate interactive communities properly, embrace strategic supply-chains in the correct vortals....and that I have only one testicle.

Jenny: Wow. Those buzzwords. You strike me as one Insightful, Interesting, and Informative guy!

Signal 11: No need for the praise Jenny. My mod squad is on it. Say, how about that recent merger between Bungie and Micro$oft? That's going to leverage killer e-markets!

Audience: mmmmgrgppgh

Jenny: (laughing) Ha ha ha ha! "Micro$oft" You are a true master of language Signal 11, and Funny too!

Audience: mmmmgrgppgh

I lean towards the movie being good, and here's why: everything that's officially Evangelion-related thus far has been awesome. If you've picked up the manga, it's a retelling of Evangelion's story that is just as compelling as the original, despite the fact that they change some of the plot.

"But that's Japanese! Americans and foreigners have no idea how to make a good adaptation!" You might say. That isn't always accurate, and I can think of numerous examples, too many to name here. Plus, Studio Gainax is creatively involved. Perhaps not director Hideki Anno, but he wasn't involved in said manga, either.

I can't believe some of these other complaints: if they want to make any money at all, they can't make all of the characters or the setting Japanese. Preview audiences would see that and believe that Evangelion was a bad Godzilla rip-off and not give it a second thought.

As for the costume designs, I'm personally relieved they are remarkably close to the original, and not black leather dominatrix rip-offs. As another here has said, no woman with internal organs is going to have the proportions of an anime character.

Regarding the "Waterworld" futuristic design, remember that in the storyline, Antartica was blown up. I like the concept; This is a realistic city, not some "designer's utopia", that has been flooded by water.

While these pics have little bearing on plot, from a design standpoint, these are awesome designs and remarkably close to the original. Be thankful for that.

In an email to Knowles, Peter Jackson specified that this was his call. He didn't want to start the third film by cleaning up after the second. He also reasoned that most filmgoers already assumed he died after the ent invasion.

I understand and respect his choice, and I no doubt will still love watching Return of the King in the theater. However, I can't help think that perhaps he should have seen this comming and resolved Saruman's involvment at the end of the Two Towers. Oh well.

Link to the Knowles Email

THE JENNY JONES SHOW
"I have a perverse sexual fetish"

Jenny: Hi, and welcome to today's show - "I have a perverse sexual fetish." Let me warn you, today's topic is on the distrubing side. We will meet three men who at first glance appear to be normal, sane, and well-educated but thier deviant addiction to the popular Internet website Slashdot.org and individual sexual perversions set them apart from you and I.

Audience: EWWWWW!

Jenny: Let us meet our first guest, Harry Knowles.

(Harry Knowles, webmaster of the popular movie rumor site Aint It Cool News, is escorted from the backstage area in a wheelchair.)

Jenny: Hello Harry. I must say, I have visited your site many times and am honored to finally speak with you. So tell us, what is your sexual perversion?

Harry: Well Jenny...I have never admitted this before...but...I'm sorry.

(Harry is obviously distraught.)

Jenny: Don't be. Does it have anything to do with your paralysis?

Harry: Yes. I once enjoyed a normal sex-life, but that changed after the accident which left me paralyised from the waist down and left me unable to orgasm.

Jenny: That's understandable

Harry: It gets worse. After hours of masturbation and ingesting dangerous amounts of amyl-nitrate, I realized only one thing gives me any semblance of carnal pleasure....

(Harry pauses.)

Harry (head in hands): I like to pour hot grits down my pants.

Audience: EWWWWW!

Jenny: Hot grits...as in the breakfast food..??

Harry (in tears): Yes. Hot grits as in warm ground corn. I like to pour them down my pants. It feels so warm, so tender...don't hate me, is it wrong for a man to do the only thing that pleasures him?

Jenny: No, no it is not. It is obvious this strains you.

Harry (smiling): Strains me? Oh heavens no! Hot grits are a wonderful lover! Oh, to feel her sweet carress on my lifeless genitals. It is that of the great muse, Natalie Portman!

Audience: WOOOOO! NATALIE PORTMAN!

Harry: Yes Jenny, I am a gritsman...and I love it!

Jenny: Well I am glad you have found some way of self-satisfaction in material objects. Our next guest, however, finds gratification only in the digital world. Signal 11, come out!

(Signal 11, posterboy karma whore of Slashdot, is escorted from the backstage area. He sits, legs crossed, in a chair next to Harry Knowles.)

(Somewhere in the audience screams of "-1, Troll" are heard. Signal 11 reaches into his pocket and withdraws a phone. The phone is solid black, save for the words "BITCHSLAP" written on it. He quickly hits the button labeled "speed dial to cmdr. taco" and converses briefly. Suddenly, the entire audience is quiet and Signal 11 smiles.)

Jenny: Hello Signal 11.

Signal 11: Hello Jenny. I am pleased to be here. Perhaps after the show we can go orchestrate e-commerce applications?

Jenny: Uhhhh....anyway, what is your sexual perversion?

Signal 11: It all stems from my inability to syndicate interactive communities properly, embrace strategic supply-chains in the correct vortals....and that I have only one testicle.

Jenny: Wow. Those buzzwords. You strike me as one Insightful, Interesting, and Informative guy!

Signal 11: No need for the praise Jenny. My mod squad is on it. Say, how about that recent merger between Bungie and Micro$oft? That's going to leverage killer e-markets!

Audience: mmmmgrgppgh

Jenny: (laughing) Ha ha ha ha! "Micro$oft" You are a true master of language Signal 11, and Funny too!

Audience: mmmmgrgppgh

The imdb forum, no offense, has got to be the filth of the Internet.

You've never read the aintitcoolnews.com forums, have you? They make the IMDB forums look like Plato's Dialogues.

Ain't It Cool News has had several reviews, and there are some in the Chud message boards if you hunt for them. Hell, Time magazine contains a spoilerific review. Therefore, this is hardly the first.

Plus, I've heard many complaints that Reloaded contains too much philosphical dialog. Bah!

Just a quick hint for those of you who are expecting to be thrilled by this one just like the first: don't. As good as this movie may be, it can not produce the same feeling you had when the concept was fresh and new. Lower your expectations to a more realistic level and you won't come out of the theater dissapointed.

"I've known the man for five years. All I can tell you that I know, certainly I know, I love that motherfucker, but I don't know a fucking thing about him. I'm telling you the truth. That motherfucker's like nobody else on the planet. That's why he's the one." - Laurence Fishburne speaking on Keanu Reeves.

Harry Knowles' site has a bunch of reviews here, here, here, and the funniest one here.

Excerpt from Aint-It-Cool-news:
"MATRIX: KINGDOM OF ASS-KICKING is like if all of Anthrax's albums formed into a hot chick who had to fuck you ten times a day or she gets pee-cancer."

"Due to magnetic irregularities in regard to the south magnetic pole water swirls counter clock wise. Since there are negative magnetic waves there the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce (Venezuela) manages the atomic clocks that synchronize the world. If the atomic clocks go out of sync then this could spell disaster on a international scale. Some one Who knows about the dangers of Time should be dispached at once. Lord knows what could happen if some evil learns to Master time."

Inevitable, tomorrow we will be seeing: "Ain't It Cool News breaks the storyline of the next Bond film. Thanks to our scooper calling himself
Infonography.

THE JENNY JONES SHOW
"I have a perverse sexual fetish"

Jenny: Hi, and welcome to today's show - "I have a perverse sexual fetish." Let me warn you, today's topic is on the distrubing side. We will meet three men who at first glance appear to be normal, sane, and well-educated but thier deviant addiction to the popular Internet website Slashdot.org and individual sexual perversions set them apart from you and I.

Audience: EWWWWW!

Jenny: Let us meet our first guest, Harry Knowles.

(Harry Knowles, webmaster of the popular movie rumor site Aint It Cool News, is escorted from the backstage area in a wheelchair.)

Jenny: Hello Harry. I must say, I have visited your site many times and am honored to finally speak with you. So tell us, what is your sexual perversion?

Harry: Well Jenny...I have never admitted this before...but...I'm sorry.

(Harry is obviously distraught.)

Jenny: Don't be. Does it have anything to do with your paralysis?

Harry: Yes. I once enjoyed a normal sex-life, but that changed after the accident which left me paralyised from the waist down and left me unable to orgasm.

Jenny: That's understandable

Harry: It gets worse. After hours of masturbation and ingesting dangerous amounts of amyl-nitrate, I realized only one thing gives me any semblance of carnal pleasure....

(Harry pauses.)

Harry (head in hands): I like to pour hot grits down my pants.

Audience: EWWWWW!

Jenny: Hot grits...as in the breakfast food..??

Harry (in tears): Yes. Hot grits as in warm ground corn. I like to pour them down my pants. It feels so warm, so tender...don't hate me, is it wrong for a man to do the only thing that pleasures him?

Jenny: No, no it is not. It is obvious this strains you.

Harry (smiling): Strains me? Oh heavens no! Hot grits are a wonderful lover! Oh, to feel her sweet carress on my lifeless genitals. It is that of the great muse, Natalie Portman!

Audience: WOOOOO! NATALIE PORTMAN!

Harry: Yes Jenny, I am a gritsman...and I love it!

Jenny: Well I am glad you have found some way of self-satisfaction in material objects. Our next guest, however, finds gratification only in the digital world. Signal 11, come out!

(Signal 11, posterboy karma whore of Slashdot, is escorted from the backstage area. He sits, legs crossed, in a chair next to Harry Knowles.)

(Somewhere in the audience screams of "-1, Troll" are heard. Signal 11 reaches into his pocket and withdraws a phone. The phone is solid black, save for the words "BITCHSLAP" written on it. He quickly hits the button labeled "speed dial to cmdr. taco" and converses briefly. Suddenly, the entire audience is quiet and Signal 11 smiles.)

Jenny: Hello Signal 11.

Signal 11: Hello Jenny. I am pleased to be here. Perhaps after the show we can go orchestrate e-commerce applications?

Jenny: Uhhhh....anyway, what is your sexual perversion?

Signal 11: It all stems from my inability to syndicate interactive communities properly, embrace strategic supply-chains in the correct vortals....and that I have only one testicle.

Jenny: Wow. Those buzzwords. You strike me as one Insightful, Interesting, and Informative guy!

Signal 11: No need for the praise Jenny. My mod squad is on it. Say, how about that recent merger between Bungie and Micro$oft? That's going to leverage killer e-markets!

Audience: mmmmgrgppgh

Jenny: (laughing) Ha ha ha ha! "Micro$oft" You are a true master of language Signal 11, and Funny too!

Audience: mmmmgrgppgh

(Several geeky looking men come running in from backstage. Each carries a bit of karma labeled Insightful, Interesting, Informative, and Funny. They all rush to Signal 11's side and begin showering him with karma. It is obvious he is receiveng a sexual thrill from this public attention.)

Audience: mmmmgrgppgh

Jenny: You...you...you're a karma whore!

Signal 11: Yes Jenny, I am a karma whore...and I love it! I must run to the bathroom now.

(Signal 11 and his moderators get up and rush backstage. Before they are out of earshot though, one moderator is heard saying "Hey bojay, I gots sum cheap 3 dolla crack dog. You wants some too?")

Jenny: You have entered into the conversation. All you previous moderations are undone, and Signal 11 now has no more whored karma.

(Signal 11 begins to cry as the bulge in his pants fades away. He hides his head in shame and runs off. Sadly, the audience has not had time to email pater and is still bitchslapped.)

Jenny: Well. With that out of the way, let's meet our third guest - OSM!

Audience (delighted): mmmmgrgppgh

(OSM, the sole source of truth on Slashdot, is escorted from the backstage area by what appears to be a being of pure energy. They sit, together, on a couch.)

Jenny: Welcome sir! I must ask, is that an escaped Drej from JonKatz's trollish article on Titan A.E. ?

OSM: Oh no, this is much more pure and supple. This...this is Natalie Portman!

(The light shining from Natalie Portman cuts out so everyone can see her beautiful teen radiance. The mere sight of her firm breasts is enough to undo the bitchslapping. She and OSM warmly embrace.)

Audience: WOOOOO! NATALIE PORTMAN!

Jenny: Loving Natalie Portman is not a sexual perversion. It is a normal and healty sexual outlet with the most beautiful gift on this Earth. If only we could all be as fortunate as you. If I could only have a lesbian relationship with her, however so fleeting. Ahhhhhh....

OSM: Can't talk. Must kiss.

Natalie Portman: Yes. Kiss me, kiss me and let us be as one. You are my soul-twin.

(The pair embrace again and kiss. After 15 minutes, OSM picks Natalie up and walks away with her - still kissing. The audience is forever touched by such a kind and beautiful sight as Natalie Portman, and goes about the world to do good deeds and troll Slashdot.)

EL FIN!

Of course, this will help Harry Knowles get that first scoop review on his website as he is a known frequenter to the Drafthouse, though I wonder what Kevin Smith really feels about having Harry have wireless access at the movie theatre now.

• You're coming across as a bitter old school AICN poster who feels robbed because he went to see a movie that Harry recommended and couldn't get into it

Mmm, I did give that impression, but it's not at all true. I don't spend that much time on AICN, I've just been dipping into it for years, and reading the reviews casually. I only see movies based on personal recommendations from friends, never based on professional reviews. My point is that Harry's stories (I won't call them reviews) have gone from enthusiastic but informative to pure solipsism, where the entire point seems to be to get across exactly how inside Harry is. See the bizarre story of Blade 2 for a perfect example.

Sure, Harry is perfectly honest about his subjective ramblings, and he's never less than entertaining, but just because you like his style doesn't mean that you have to give credit to his substance.

It's like a politician announcing a tax rise; you'll probably get an anecdote about how badly the money is needed, and how much the polician regrets doing it, and so on. All of this is perfectly true, but perfectly irrelevant; the only salient point is taxes are going up. Similary, Harry can write five hundred words about how hyped he was, or who invited him, or what he had to eat that day, or how hot the chick in front of him was and how much she wanted to ride his 400lbs carcasse like a bucking bronco, but that's just spin. The beef is: what was the movie like. And I'm finding that increasingly Harry just doesn't say, although he's becoming better and better at covering that up.

If you think that was bad, you should read his Blade II review.

Ain't it Cool News had a story on this earlier. Looks like the title will be The Great Vegetable Plot and the director is shooting for a release 2 years from now. Here's to hoping it turns out better than Chicken Run, which just rubbed me the wrong way for some reason. *shrug*. I just can't make myself care about the well-being of chickens, which are so darn tasty. ;)

THE JENNY JONES SHOW
"I have a perverse sexual fetish"

Jenny: Hi, and welcome to today's show - "I have a perverse sexual fetish." Let me warn you, today's topic is on the distrubing side. We will meet three men who at first glance appear to be normal, sane, and well-educated but thier deviant addiction to the popular Internet website Slashdot.org and individual sexual perversions set them apart from you and I.

Audience: EWWWWW!

Jenny: Let us meet our first guest, Harry Knowles.

(Harry Knowles, webmaster of the popular movie rumor site Aint It Cool News, is escorted from the backstage area in a wheelchair.)

Jenny: Hello Harry. I must say, I have visited your site many times and am honored to finally speak with you. So tell us, what is your sexual perversion?

Harry: Well Jenny...I have never admitted this before...but...I'm sorry.

(Harry is obviously distraught.)

Jenny: Don't be. Does it have anything to do with your paralysis?

Harry: Yes. I once enjoyed a normal sex-life, but that changed after the accident which left me paralyised from the waist down and left me unable to orgasm.

Jenny: That's understandable

Harry: It gets worse. After hours of masturbation and ingesting dangerous amounts of amyl-nitrate, I realized only one thing gives me any semblance of carnal pleasure....

(Harry pauses.)

Harry (head in hands): I like to pour hot grits down my pants.

Audience: EWWWWW!

Jenny: Hot grits...as in the breakfast food..??

Harry (in tears): Yes. Hot grits as in warm ground corn. I like to pour them down my pants. It feels so warm, so tender...don't hate me, is it wrong for a man to do the only thing that pleasures him?

Jenny: No, no it is not. It is obvious this strains you.

Harry (smiling): Strains me? Oh heavens no! Hot grits are a wonderful lover! Oh, to feel her sweet carress on my lifeless genitals. It is that of the great muse, Natalie Portman!

Audience: WOOOOO! NATALIE PORTMAN!

Harry: Yes Jenny, I am a gritsman...and I love it!

Jenny: Well I am glad you have found some way of self-satisfaction in material objects. Our next guest, however, finds gratification only in the digital world. Signal 11, come out!

(Signal 11, posterboy karma whore of Slashdot, is escorted from the backstage area. He sits, legs crossed, in a chair next to Harry Knowles.)

(Somewhere in the audience screams of "-1, Troll" are heard. Signal 11 reaches into his pocket and withdraws a phone. The phone is solid black, save for the words "BITCHSLAP" written on it. He quickly hits the button labeled "speed dial to cmdr. taco" and converses briefly. Suddenly, the entire audience is quiet and Signal 11 smiles.)

Jenny: Hello Signal 11.

Signal 11: Hello Jenny. I am pleased to be here. Perhaps after the show we can go orchestrate e-commerce applications?

Jenny: Uhhhh....anyway, what is your sexual perversion?

Signal 11: It all stems from my inability to syndicate interactive communities properly, embrace strategic supply-chains in the correct vortals....and that I have only one testicle.

Jenny: Wow. Those buzzwords. You strike me as one Insightful, Interesting, and Informative guy!

Signal 11: No need for the praise Jenny. My mod squad is on it. Say, how about that recent merger between Bungie and Micro$oft? That's going to leverage killer e-markets!

Audience: mmmmgrgppgh

Jenny: (laughing) Ha ha ha ha! "Micro$oft" You are a true master of language Signal 11, and Funny too!

Audience: mmmmgrgppgh

(Several geeky looking men come running in from backstage. Each carries a bit of karma labeled Insightful, Interesting, Informative, and Funny. They all rush to Signal 11's side and begin showering him with karma. It is obvious he is receiveng a sexual thrill from this public attention.)

Audience: mmmmgrgppgh

Jenny: You...you...you're a karma whore!

Signal 11: Yes Jenny, I am a karma whore...and I love it! I must run to the bathroom now.

(Signal 11 and his moderators get up and rush backstage. Before they are out of earshot though, one moderator is heard saying "Hey bojay, I gots sum cheap 3 dolla crack dog. You wants some too?")

Jenny: You have entered into the conversation. All you previous moderations are undone, and Signal 11 now has no more whored karma.

(Signal 11 begins to cry as the bulge in his pants fades away. He hides his head in shame and runs off. Sadly, the audience has not had time to email pater and is still bitchslapped.)

Jenny: Well. With that out of the way, let's meet our third guest - OSM!

Audience (delighted): mmmmgrgppgh

(OSM, the sole source of truth on Slashdot, is escorted from the backstage area by what appears to be a being of pure energy. They sit, together, on a couch.)

Jenny: Welcome sir! I must ask, is that an escaped Drej from JonKatz's trollish article on Titan A.E. ?

OSM: Oh no, this is much more pure and supple. This...this is Natalie Portman!

(The light shining from Natalie Portman cuts out so everyone can see her beautiful teen radiance. The mere sight of her firm breasts is enough to undo the bitchslapping. She and OSM warmly embrace.)

Audience: WOOOOO! NATALIE PORTMAN!

Jenny: Loving Natalie Portman is not a sexual perversion. It is a normal and healty sexual outlet with the most beautiful gift on this Earth. If only we could all be as fortunate as you. If I could only have a lesbian relationship with her, however so fleeting. Ahhhhhh....

OSM: Can't talk. Must kiss.

Natalie Portman: Yes. Kiss me, kiss me and let us be as one. You are my soul-twin.

(The pair embrace again and kiss. After 15 minutes, OSM picks Natalie up and walks away with her - still kissing. The audience is forever touched by such a kind and beautiful sight as Natalie Portman, and goes about the world to do good deeds and troll Slashdot.)

EL FIN!

You must mean this article in which they talk about choosing the story to run with and how there will be 6 fight scenes in the movie.

Yawn.

Rami
--

round up all the women and teenaged girls you know

Hey Katz, this is /., news for nerds who don't know any women :-)

It really is difficult to round up women when you tell them its a fantasy martial arts film. But slowly the women I know are seeing this film, they just aren't letting men take them. The film is still playing here in Europe after several months, and I'm amazed how many women have seen it, but none of them would dare go see it when it first opened.

And if you read Aint It Cool News you'd know that Ang Lee has already started casting for one of the prequels, and money is being thrown at him to make all four stories into movies.

the AC

sGreenHornet asks: So Mr. Willis do you have any other films in line with M. Night Shyamalan? (or you rather not say)

And Willis' reply...

bruce_willis_live: Unbreakable is the first part of a trilogy of films.

bruce_willis_live: I can't tell you about the others ...

bruce_willis_live: But we're supposed to do two more.

bruce_willis_live: you'll understand how it lends itself to a continuing story.

here's an opposing view from harry, my personal savior, that points out that TheForce.Net says otherwise. http://www.aintitcoolnews.com/dis play.cgi?id=6716

THE JENNY JONES SHOW
"I have a perverse sexual fetish"

Jenny: Hi, and welcome to today's show - "I have a perverse sexual fetish." Let me warn you, today's topic is on the distrubing side. We will meet three men who at first glance appear to be normal, sane, and well-educated but thier deviant addiction to the popular Internet website Slashdot.org and individual sexual perversions set them apart from you and I.

Audience: EWWWWW!

Jenny: Let us meet our first guest, Harry Knowles.

(Harry Knowles, webmaster of the popular movie rumor site Aint It Cool News, is escorted from the backstage area in a wheelchair.)

Jenny: Hello Harry. I must say, I have visited your site many times and am honored to finally speak with you. So tell us, what is your sexual perversion?

Harry: Well Jenny...I have never admitted this before...but...I'm sorry.

(Harry is obviously distraught.)

Jenny: Don't be. Does it have anything to do with your paralysis?

Harry: Yes. I once enjoyed a normal sex-life, but that changed after the accident which left me paralyised from the waist down and left me unable to orgasm.

Jenny: That's understandable

Harry: It gets worse. After hours of masturbation and ingesting dangerous amounts of amyl-nitrate, I realized only one thing gives me any semblance of carnal pleasure....

(Harry pauses.)

Harry (head in hands): I like to pour hot grits down my pants.

Audience: EWWWWW!

Jenny: Hot grits...as in the breakfast food..??

Harry (in tears): Yes. Hot grits as in warm ground corn. I like to pour them down my pants. It feels so warm, so tender...don't hate me, is it wrong for a man to do the only thing that pleasures him?

Jenny: No, no it is not. It is obvious this strains you.

Harry (smiling): Strains me? Oh heavens no! Hot grits are a wonderful lover! Oh, to feel her sweet carress on my lifeless genitals. It is that of the great muse, Natalie Portman!

Audience: WOOOOO! NATALIE PORTMAN!

Harry: Yes Jenny, I am a gritsman...and I love it!

Jenny: Well I am glad you have found some way of self-satisfaction in material objects. Our next guest, however, finds gratification only in the digital world. Signal 11, come out!

(Signal 11, posterboy karma whore of Slashdot, is escorted from the backstage area. He sits, legs crossed, in a chair next to Harry Knowles.)

(Somewhere in the audience screams of "-1, Troll" are heard. Signal 11 reaches into his pocket and withdraws a phone. The phone is solid black, save for the words "BITCHSLAP" written on it. He quickly hits the button labeled "speed dial to cmdr. taco" and converses briefly. Suddenly, the entire audience is quiet and Signal 11 smiles.)

Jenny: Hello Signal 11.

Signal 11: Hello Jenny. I am pleased to be here. Perhaps after the show we can go orchestrate e-commerce applications?

Jenny: Uhhhh....anyway, what is your sexual perversion?

Signal 11: It all stems from my inability to syndicate interactive communities properly, embrace strategic supply-chains in the correct vortals....and that I have only one testicle.

Jenny: Wow. Those buzzwords. You strike me as one Insightful, Interesting, and Informative guy!

Signal 11: No need for the praise Jenny. My mod squad is on it. Say, how about that recent merger between Bungie and Micro$oft? That's going to leverage killer e-markets!

Audience: mmmmgrgppgh

Jenny: (laughing) Ha ha ha ha! "Micro$oft" You are a true master of language Signal 11, and Funny too!

Audience: mmmmgrgppgh

(Several geeky looking men come running in from backstage. Each carries a bit of karma labeled Insightful, Interesting, Informative, and Funny. They all rush to Signal 11's side and begin showering him with karma. It is obvious he is receiveng a sexual thrill from this public attention.)

Audience: mmmmgrgppgh

Jenny: You...you...you're a karma whore!

Signal 11: Yes Jenny, I am a karma whore...and I love it! I must run to the bathroom now.

(Signal 11 and his moderators get up and rush backstage. Before they are out of earshot though, one moderator is heard saying "Hey bojay, I gots sum cheap 3 dolla crack dog. You wants some too?")

Jenny: You have entered into the conversation. All you previous moderations are undone, and Signal 11 now has no more whored karma.

(Signal 11 begins to cry as the bulge in his pants fades away. He hides his head in shame and runs off. Sadly, the audience has not had time to email pater and is still bitchslapped.)

Jenny: Well. With that out of the way, let's meet our third guest - OSM!

Audience (delighted): mmmmgrgppgh

(OSM, the sole source of truth on Slashdot, is escorted from the backstage area by what appears to be a being of pure energy. They sit, together, on a couch.)

Jenny: Welcome sir! I must ask, is that an escaped Drej from JonKatz's trollis h article on Titan A.E. ?

OSM: Oh no, this is much more pure and supple. This...this is Natalie Portman!

(The light shining from Natalie Portman cuts out so everyone can see her beautiful teen radiance. The mere sight of her firm breasts is enough to undo the bitchslapping. She and OSM warmly embrace.)

Audience: WOOOOO! NATALIE PORTMAN!

Jenny: Loving Natalie Portman is not a sexual perversion. It is a normal and healty sexual outlet with the most beautiful gift on this Earth. If only we could all be as fortunate as you. If I could only have a lesbian relationship with her, however so fleeting. Ahhhhhh....

OSM: Can't talk. Must kiss.

Natalie Portman: Yes. Kiss me, kiss me and let us be as one. You are my soul-twin.

(The pair embrace again and kiss. After 15 minutes, OSM picks Natalie up and walks away with her - still kissing. The audience is forever touched by such a kind and beautiful sight as Natalie Portman, and goes about the world to do good deeds and troll Slashdot.)

EL FIN!