Kevin Smith Previews Revenge of the Sith

Eugenia writes "Kevin Smith, the well-known actor/director, was invited by George Lucas to a special advanced screening of the upcoming 'Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith' film and he wrote down his take on the movie. There are some serious spoilers in his article but it's interesting to see his reaction, as a director and Star Wars fan."

Comments

His biggest problem with the film

[Anonymous Coward]

Is that Lucas serves his popcorn without butter. I mean... what the hell?

Re:His biggest problem with the film

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, but at least you can put nutritional yeast on it...

Re:His biggest problem with the film

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually, nobody serves popcorn with butter. The popcorn "butter" is a vegatable oil(Usually soy bean oil). Some theatres mix in a little butter for flavor but many don't use any butter at all. Real butter cannot be kept at a high enough temperature to comply with health codes without separating.

Re:His biggest problem with the film

[RLW]

So if this movie is as even nearly as good as K.S. seems to go on about then maybe suffering through the first two will seem less painful.

Re:His biggest problem with the film

[Anonymous Coward]

Episode 4 (or just plain "Star Wars" for you non-geeks)

Why do I have this reversed? Old timer geeks just call Episode 4 "Star Wars".

Re:His biggest problem with the film

[Anonymous Coward]

So if this movie is as even nearly as good as K.S. seems to go on about then maybe suffering through the first two will seem less painful.

He praised the other ones as well. Ignore him and perhaps he'll go away.

Re:His biggest problem with the film

[fakedupe]

Maybe, but that will only last until you foolishly go back and wathch the first two movies again.

Re:His biggest problem with the film

[sacherjj]

It can't with the milk solids as part of it. Clarified butter is made for this purpose. It contains only the fats and none of the water or milk solids. This is often used in pan frying for flavor and CAN stay at the temperatures required. The reason it isn't used is cost. And the fact that the movie going public doesn't care about quality.

Re:His biggest problem with the film

[throughthewire]

Actually, nobody serves popcorn with butter.

Alamo Drafthouse Theater serves real butter on their popcorn - one of several reasons why I prefer to see movies there.

Re:His biggest problem with the film

[ahdeoz]

Bono was at Bill Gates' last week. Now I don't have anything against Microsoft, but U2 sucks these days. And Kevin Smith wants to hang out with people richer than he is, and it's been a long time since Clerks.

This review is bull.

It still has the same cast. So even if George Lucas wrote a masterpiece, it would still have Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christiansen, Natalie Portman, Liam etc.

Even if the effects were lovingly, painstakingly created with models and stop animation, and the bluescreen CGI scrapped, it'd still have Jar-Jar Binks, those stupid robot (clones?), etc. A truly 3D ugly is still ugly.

But with place names like "Mustafar" (hmm... care to count the minerates and onion arches on that set?) you know it's bad cliche city. Sure, you can say the Imperials looks like they were in Nazi uniforms, but they weren't called Nazzos.

Kevin Smith's breathless exclamations are a dead givaway. The only thing you can tell he was truly impressed with was the TV projector.

Re:His biggest problem with the film

[zachtib]

Really, I call it "A New Hope"

Re:His biggest problem with the film

[Anonymous Coward]

You clearly didn't watch it on the first release. It was "Star Wars" before it was "A New Hope"

Re:His biggest problem with the film

[biglig2]

When you said "they weren't called Nazzos" I just had this image of George Lucas sitting at his PC, slapping his forehead and crying "D'Oh!"

READ IT!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

If you didn't want to read the review..

I would. It starts:

"Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome."

Re:READ IT!!!

[stupidfoo]

You are the C.L.I.T. commander!

Re:READ IT!!!

[TheWanderingHermit]

I've expected this movie to be pretty good. Lucas knew what stories he wanted to tell when he first wrote Star Wars, and he started with what he thought was the most exciting one. It was clear, since he started on this trilogy, that the real story he wanted to tell was Anakin going over to the dark side. The other two films were really just setting us up for this one -- he told them because they filled in the background for this movie, the one he wanted to make.

So it seemed to me this is the only one in the prequal trilogy he really wanted to make, and he's been working up to it. When he's excited about a story, Lucas does great. When he's just creating fillter (or, as in Return of the Jedi, tying up loose ends) -- that's when he's weak.

Re:READ IT!!!

[dfn5]

"Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome."

Thank you for spoiling it for me. I guess I don't need to give my money to Lucas now.

Re:READ IT!!!

[s20451]

And it ends with "Look, this is a movie I was genetically predisposed to love." Not really an objective review. But worth reading nonetheless.

Re:READ IT!!!

[Dark Nexus]

Nor were most reviews of Episodes I & II...

I get the feeling the review was more directed at the existing fans that were disappointed by those 2 movies, saying they probably won't be disappointed this time.

Re:READ IT!!!

[Golias]

I started reading it, but stopped here:

Perfect example of how dark shit gets: remember the Younglings - the kid Jedis in training from "Clones"?

No. No, I don't remember the kid Jedis from "Clones."

Probably because I only saw it once, hated it, and paid little thought to remembering the events I saw.

If I gotta see "Attack of the Clones" again to know what the fuck is going on in "Revenge of the Sith", then count me out. It can't possibly be worth it.

Re:READ IT!!!

[flyingsquid]

It starts: "Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome."

He's supposed to be collaborating with Lucas on developing a Star Wars series. Is he honestly going to tell us if this movie sucks?

Re:READ IT!!!

[katarac]

If I gotta see "Attack of the Clones" again to know what the fuck is going on in "Revenge of the Sith", then count me out. It can't possibly be worth it.

Now, now, let's not be hasty. I'll fill you in on the children. There were some kids in a jedi class at the jedi temple. There! Now you can go see it!

Re:READ IT!!!

[Golias]

Lucas knew what stories he wanted to tell when he first wrote Star Wars...

Bullshit.

He's been making it up as he goes along from the beginning. For example: Leah being Luke's sister was an idea which came to him when he was 2/3 done writing "Return of the Jedi." He needed something to piss off Luke enough to tempt him with The Dark Side during his duel with Vader, and making Leah his sister (and having Vader threaten to go after her) seemed to him like the perfect way to get there, so the cryptic "there is another" line from "Empire" becomes a line about Luke's sister.

Even Star Wars itself was revised several times during the storyboard phase. He certainly did not think at the time he would ever go back and make the prequels. He just wanted to start with an episode 4 so it would have the feel of the old Flash Gordon serials he grew up on.

Re:READ IT!!!

[N3koFever]

He's interviewed in the new issue of Empire and in that he says that he'd like to work on the TV series (by directing a couple of episodes or something like that) but he hasn't signed up for anything.

It's worth getting that magazine just for the huge Star Wars geekout with Kevin Smith, Simon Pegg (of Shaun of the Dead and Spaced), and Edgar Wright (ditto).

Re:READ IT!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

If you're willing to decide not to watch it based upon a minute detail that doesn't even require any knowledge from the previous movie, I'd be willing to bet that you weren't planning on watching it anyway. I say that it doesn't require any knowledge from "Attack of the Clones" because you can surmise the following from his description of the scene; Anakin slaughters a bunch of kids that trusted him.

Re:READ IT!!!

[AshFan]

Good luck reading it, seems the site was "slashdotted" and is struggling to stay up. If only Kevin Smith used IIS 6... On a side note, does anyone know if Jar Jar bites it in this one? I for one am a big fan of Jar Jar biting it. And by "Biting it" I am not making an improper oral inference, I mean does he get eliminated? And by Eliminated, I do not mean excreted, I mean made to stop functioning, and not like a conjunction junction, for he has no function.

Re:READ IT!!!

[servognome]

Lucas knew what stories he wanted to tell when he first wrote Star Wars, and he started with what he thought was the most exciting one
He started with the one that was easiest to sell to hollywood execs. The ending of ANH is a dead giveaway that the movie was designed to be neatly packaged, though leaving a few open ends in case it was popular enough to spawn a sequel. The medal ceremony was such a cheesy ending, and was just there to give "closure," there was no assupmtion that a sequel would be made.

Re:READ IT!!!

[connorbd]

Actually, there are hints in Empire that he was at least considering something like it.

Re:READ IT!!!

[jweric]

And you know what would be totally awesome? If someone redid all the SW movies and turned it into like Pulp Fiction style editing. That would be so awesome, albet weird too. The best part about it is that you could condence the films into a 3 hour film...

Re:READ IT!!!

[Scrameustache]

Lucas knew what stories he wanted to tell when he first wrote Star Wars,

Yes, and he's been fucking around with them through CGI again and again ONLY because the special effects technology of the 1970's wasn't sofisticated enough to have Greedo shoot first!
Sheesh.

Re:READ IT!!!

[Skevin]

If I gotta see "Attack of the Clones" again to know what the fuck is going on in "Revenge of the Sith", then count me out. It can't possibly be worth it.

I begin to get leery of movie sagas when you have to see a lot of extra sh*t just to make sense of the next installment that comes along (i.e. you had to see the Animatrix and play the video game Enter The Matrix in order to make any more sense(?) from the third Matrix movie).
I've just recently heard that Episode 3 won't make too much sense until you've watched Tartovsky's (of Dexter and Samurai Jack fame) Clone Wars and Clone Wars II. I can understand this next generation of merchandising, but Lucas, like the Wachowskis, is going to alienate a lot of fans if he has too much in-between story before the next movie. [Hint: you can't rent Clone Wars - you have to buy it]
It seems, these days, it's no longer enough to have watched the previous movie to understand what's going on the next SQL. You have to buy further into the Dark Si^h^h^h^h^h^h^h Franchise.

Solomon Kevin Chang

Re:READ IT!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

You are a complete idiot.

Lucas himself has said he wrote the entire ("original") story before anything...its captured in his interviews for crying out loud -- you can see for yourself. Check out the special edition interviews.

Coming from the horse's mouth (Lucas himself) I think he knows what he did more than YOU do! lol.

PS. Calm down sparky its just a geeky movie anyway.....wooosaaaaaa

Re:READ IT!!!

[cHALiTO]

Hmmm I believe you can get them on divx somwhere *coughedonkeycough* *coughbittorrentcough*.

sorry.

Re:READ IT!!!

[Meagermanx]

Hell, it might be worth the admission just to see Anakin flay the little tykes! Man, if only they replaced Anakin with Yoda.
The battle of the shorteys! The ultimate fight scene!
Screw the "storylines" and "character development".
We all just go to see the lightsaber fights anyway, right?

Re:READ IT!!!

[jlmcgraw]

Doesn't Yoda actually say "There is another Skywalker?" Sounds like it'd been planned at least before Empire.

Re:READ IT!!!

[CoffeeJedi]

yeah! i totally walked out of the third Lord of the Rings movie, when it opened in the middle of the story, i was like all "who the hell are these people? fuck this movie!"
i mean, god, why did it have to have the same characters and plot and from the other movies, i saw The Two Towers, like, a whole YEAR before it came out, why did i have to remember every single little detail, like, who the short guy was, or why that ring was important, or who the long haired scruffy guy was? that's retarded!!!!

Re:READ IT!!!

[Scrameustache]

Doesn't Yoda actually say "There is another Skywalker?"

Obiwan: "That boy is our only hope."
Yoda: "No, there is another."

He obviously was referring to R2D2 ;-)

Re:READ IT!!!

[Golias]

He doesn't say "another Skywalker" until his deathbed confession in Return of the Jedi.

As to the dumbass AC who thinks he's trumping me with this "straight from the horse's mouth" BS. Where do you think I got my info about when he wrote the brother-sister connection? Lucas talked about it in interviews. He said it was added as a means for Vader to enrage Luke at the climax of the movie, and he didn't come up with it until he was working on that scene.

Re:READ IT!!!

[Golias]

I haven't seen it yet myself, but I'm told that Clone Wars is actually more entertaining than Lucas's actual episodes I and II.

Re:READ IT!!!

[jokell82]

He's supposed to be collaborating with Lucas on developing a Star Wars series. Is he honestly going to tell us if this movie sucks?

I don't know about any collaborations, but he's said the exact same things about the first two movies. He calls people who don't like the first two prequels "haters" and has basically kissed Lucas' ass since he started making the new movies.

I use to really like Kevin Smith, but his recent movies suck and his inability to see that the first two Star Wars prequels were quantifiably bad has me questioning if he's gone out of his mind.

Re:READ IT!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

"He just wanted to start with an episode 4 so it would have the feel of the old Flash Gordon serials he grew up on."

Even that was added after the fact. The original movie was shown in theatres for weeks with no "Episode IV: A New Hope", before he sent out updated films to the theatres with that part added in.

Re:READ IT!!!

[Golias]

Actually, there are hints in Empire that he was at least considering something like it.

I could simply scoff and say "you're just seeing images in the clouds", but instead I'm going to throw the gauntlet down.

Name one. Just one.

(Besides the one I already mentioned, which actually was not hinting at a family relationship at all.)

Re:READ IT!!!

[Golias]

Well, Lucas is famous for revising the history of his films, but he did claim that "Epidose IV" was a tag that he wanted there all along, even if it was going to only ever be one movie, in order to evoke the feeling of Saturday matinee serials. He claims the studio insisted it would confuse audiences.

Personally, I find it a little hard to believe that, after violating Director's Guild rules by not opening with production and director credits, he would cave on something like this, but it's possible. He did, however, start telling people long before even releasing Empire that it was Star Wars was supposed to be considered Episode 4 of a much longer saga. (9 or 12, depending on when he was asked... Although it now looks like he intends to stop at six.)

Re:READ IT!!!

[schon]

If someone redid all the SW movies and turned it into like Pulp Fiction style editing.

Already done!

Re:READ IT!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Nine episodes, kid. The framework was for nine episodes. It also had a battle on the Wookie homeworld in Episode Six.

The framework was a rough draft which he didn't stick to at all.

Good thing, too. Empire would have sucked if he hadn't changed a few things around.

Re:READ IT!!!

[jmb-d]

Even Star Wars itself was revised several times during the storyboard phase.

And this is a bad thing why? Are you saying that once something reaches the storyboard phase that the storyline must be set in stone at that point?

What if somebody has A Great Idea that changes something for the better while shooting a scene? According to your logic, the director's obligated to say, "Sorry, but the storyboard says it's gotta be like this. Your suggestion would make it 100% better, but the storyboard..."

*harumph*

Re:READ IT!!!

[TheWanderingHermit]

Maybe you're too young to remember, or just didn't care, but I remember when Empire came out, in 1980, Lucas talked about it in interviews. He had said he had an entire backstory, but he started in the middle because the other story wasn't as exciting, and was more about spying and plotting, so it would not be as good or interesting. (Yes! He really said all that as early as 1980 or so -- I remember reading it while in high school, in something like Time or Starlog.)

He also said, after Return was released, that he had a prequal storyline, but he wasn't going to do it for years because there were a lot of things he wanted to do that the fx of the day couldn't do, and that he wouldn't do the prequal until the start of the art fx work caught up to what he wanted to do.

Yes, I know it's fun to bash and denigrate and trash an icon. If you don't believe me, see how much fun you had doing it in your post. But it doesn't work when there are people who remember his original comments in interviews that are pre-web, so theyr'e not likely to be found in Google, and those comments basically say a lot about the two movies we've already seen.

Yes, Star Wars was revised. How many plot points were changed (other than Han not firing first)? How many of the changes were adding shots and scenes that were too expensive to include when it was originally shot -- or, in the case of the Jabba/Han scene in the first one, a scene that didn't contribute directly to the storyline of the particular film it was in (that scene, in it self, should show you that Lucas had planned more than we originally saw).

Re:READ IT!!!

[TheWanderingHermit]

Actually, that's another pont that shows he had plans for the prequal years ago. The "Episode IV" tags, though, did not appear until SW was re-released just before Empire was released.

Re:READ IT!!!

[ahdeoz]

That's because he's awful lucky to have made it to six. But the popularity books and video games means someone will continue after Jedi. And I'm sure it will be better than the prequels.

Re:READ IT!!!

[ahdeoz]

Yes, he's been saying that for some time, but we have the evidence before us that either he entirely forgot (and refused to even watch the existing hints in the movies) or he was totally BS-ing about having a plot for the prequels.

Re:READ IT!!!

[klui]

Director's Guild rules by not opening with production and director credits

Is there such a rule? I have often times noticed a few movies where no credits are displayed at a movie's opening sequence. Just some weird thing I notice.

Re:READ IT!!!

[TheWanderingHermit]

There was a letter in Starlog magazine that I read somewhere around 1980-1982 that I specifically remember reading. It's something I've remembered for years, and something I've thought about with each prequal we've seen. I don't remember if the letter was from Lucas, and it may have been in a short news blurb instead of a letter (point is it wasn't part of a full article).

In it either Lucas stated, or was quoted as saying that Luke's Father had betrayed all the Jedi, and after that, he and Obi-Wan got in a long light sabre battle that ended with Luke's Father (he didn't use the name Annakin) falling into a volcano and was rescued by someone (he didn't specify by whom), and that was when he was put in the Vader suit -- because he needed it for life support after being almost burned by the lava.

That's one of the points that made me feel that the major point of the whole backstory that interested Lucas was the corruption of a hero and his turn to evil.

So I think that's evidence he was more than BS'ing his way through: he had at least one specific plot point he talked about for years. That doesn't mean he had the whole story plotted beat for beat. It's one thing to have a full outline, but once you start writing a story down, on paper, you realize pacing needs changing, some scenes don't work, and others detract. Then, once you have an outline, and do a script, even more changes because it doesn't work the way you want.

Also, as I said in another post, he stated the first series was more about spying (I think he used the word Machiavellian -- which I know I just misspelled), and not as much about discovery and heroism, which was more fun to watch. Look at the stories, especially Phantom Menace -- it's all about setting up plots, manipulating people and governments -- and so, basically, is Attack.

I know now it's cool to bash Lucas, which is a trend that I just don't understand. I've noticed it is much more "in" with those too young to have seen the originals when they came out. The man gave us SW in the first place. Those of us that grew up with it think of it like mythology -- sacrosanct, and have become quite ugly about Lucas every time he makes a change or does what he wants. They're his stories, for Pete's sake, so he can do whatever the hell he wants. If you don't like what he does, don't say he's bs'ing, don't waste your time attacking. Take your time to write a better script and get it produced. If you can't do that, then please, you and all others, grow up, accept he has the right to tell the story he wants to tell (and, judging from receipts that show many people see it 2 or more times, it's a story many people want to see), and Star Wars is his to extend, append, re-tell, and even, if he wants to, destroy.

Re:READ IT!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe the whole trilogy concept just isn't for you.

Re:READ IT!!!

[Clock Nova]

Okay. How about when Luke is hanging on to the bottom of cloud city, all but forgotten. He cries "Leia, hear me." And she does. From space.

That enough of a hint for you.

Re:READ IT!!!

[Golias]

Nope.

That was Luke using his power to reach out to a person he loved... until Lucas later decided that she was his sister.

Luke was not a Jedi when he started hearing dead Obi-Wan's voice at the end of Star Wars, so there's no reason to think that Leia had some special ability to hear Luke. She heard him because she was the one he called.

Re:READ IT!!!

[AntiGenX]

The only thing that bothers me about your post is the fact that you can't keep straight which is which, Time and Starlog. I mean c'mon... ;-)

Re:READ IT!!!

[Queer Boy]

Episode II stunk. Clean and simple. However, the only thing I ever see people use to complain about Episode I is Jar Jar. Like, somehow the movie wasn't any good because some people were annoyed with Jar Jar, as if that little laughing Henson-esque lapdog Jabba had was so much different. I though Jar Jar was a little over-the-top but I thought Episode I was really good. I paid to see it 3 times in the theatre.

Re:READ IT!!!

[TheWanderingHermit]

Okay, lets see if you can read a number of interviews and articles about a hot new movie (back when there wasn't a block buster every summer) and remember which fact came from which magazine 25 years later.

It wasn't like I was taking notes or writing a thesis. Do you clearly remember each and every article you've read as long as 20 to 25 years ago, where the article was, which magazine it was in, and exactly which facts came from which articles?

Re:READ IT!!!

[Daengbo]

Well, I specifically remember where I read about the whole series, before Empire -- Dynamite Magazine. I remember the whole plot line revealed... most of which never materialized.

I have vividly remembered for 25 years the story of Obi Wan and Vader fighting by a volcano, with Vader losing his limbs and falling in, as the rationalization for why he needed to wear the suit. I was glad to see Smith remember it as well as I do.

Re:READ IT!!!

[TheWanderingHermit]

I've responded to similar comments elsewhere on this same thread. Here, I'll just say:

1) IF you were around when Empire hit the theaters,
2) IF you were interested enough to read any of the MANY articles and interviews about Lucas,

Then you would remember that Lucas had dropped many hints at that time about what had happened in the backstory and what was going to happen in the next story.

If you weren't around, or didn't read the magazines at the time, it would be easy to doubt it and to keep saying he didn't know what he was doing, but if you were there and kept track of things as they happened, then you would remember Lucas' statements BEFORE Return and 20 years before Menace that were enough to show he knew what he planned to do.

It really is funny to watch so many people almost worship the original trilogy and continue to 2nd guess Lucas now, and think they know better. I remember a lot of people being furious about Empire and the shocking revalation about Vader at the time, and the bad reviews Return received. It'll be even funnier to watch the generations that grow up after all 6 have been done and they'll think of them as being in order and many will be surprised when they learn they weren't shot in order.

Re:READ IT!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes, you're right, I absolutely remember that, too.

I also remember him saying very early on that he envisioned TEN movies. He was going to start with the three in the middle ... go back and do three prequels ... then do three sequels ... and then finish the whole damn shebang with one glorious final flameout 10th movie.

IIRC from the interview there were even some religious overtones to his three, three minus, three plus, 10 formula.

I don't think Sith is the end of the franchise at all. I'm still taking Lucas on faith from his early interviews. Movie # 7 is next.

Re:READ IT!!!

[TheoMurpse]

... they'll think of them as being in order and many will be surprised when they learn they weren't shot in order.

Are these viewers going to blind to the fact that the special effects from 1, 2 (and presumably 3) completely blow away everything from 4,5 and 6?

Re:READ IT!!!

[TheoMurpse]

Machiavellian -- which I know I just misspelled

Congratulations, you spelled it correctly!

Re:READ IT!!!

[Golias]

Don't give me that "if you were there" shit, kid. I'm probably older than you.

Lucas himself admitted that the brother-sister thing was a contrivance that he had not thought of until he found himself needing a plot point in the climax of Jedi, and he was wise enough to make all foreshadowing in Empire vague enough that he could apply it to almost anything. End of story.

As for my reaction at the time, it's the same now as it was then: I mostly loved Empire, but thought Luke's whole vision-quest thing in the swamp dragged the middle of the film down a little too much, and should have been trimmed down.

Sitting through "Attack of the Clones" was like watching that scene for another hour and a half. Boring as hell.

Re:READ IT!!!

[Golias]

I don't think it is anymore, but Lucas was banned from the Director's Guild over that very issue at the time.

Re:READ IT!!!

[Golias]

The difference being that every last frame of the entire Lord of the Rings series was a joy to witness, while "Attack of the Clones" is a memory I would gladly pay to have surgically removed from my brain, "Eternal Sunshine" style, as long as they gave me a card or something to warn me not to go out and see it again.

Re:READ IT!!!

[Clock Nova]

Nope, that was Lucas dropping us a hint that Leia also possesed some of the same power that Luke had. Only someone in tune with the force could have heard Luke.

Though I'm sure you'll keep denying it.

Re:READ IT!!!

[kahei]

Yes, I know it's fun to bash and denigrate and trash an icon.

Lucas sure seems to enjoy it.

Re:READ IT!!!

[cthulhu11]

You're thinking of Leia. Leah is the chick in that Donnie Iris song.

Re:READ IT!!!

[TheWanderingHermit]

Until they get older -- and by then, they'll have seen the movies many times and won't be looking at them too closely.

Re:READ IT!!!

[TheWanderingHermit]

Funny -- noobody else that remembers all the discussions and interviews and articles seems to remember that...

Re:READ IT!!!

[TheWanderingHermit]

I think he actually got by with it on the first one because he was both writer and director, or was only fined because of that. I don't remember the details, but the DGA was NOT happy about the director's credit coming at the end, instead of being the last one before principle photography, as required and there was some leniency on Lucas because he held multiple positions.

Re:READ IT!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually, there's been a treatment of this episode (3) written since about the time episode 6 came out. I don't want to spoil your theory, but it's been sitting on my hard drive since before spisode one. Amittedly, it was short and crappy and still had all the ol charcter names, but it's ther and follows this plot as well as can be expected for having been written up so long ago.

Re:READ IT!!!

[Golias]

It's not a bad thing. It's a good thing. Most of the revisions Lucas made along the way while creating these films were for the better.

I'm just saying that the conceit that the entire saga was planned out in detail as we saw it is utter bullshit. The movies he made look very little like the original storyboards and scripts he came up with in the planning phase of Star Wars.

Re:READ IT!!!

[Golias]

Actually, there's been a treatment of this episode (3) written since about the time episode 6 came out.

So, what you're saying is you agree with me. He had nothing ready for the prequels when he was writing Star Wars, and didn't even have a rough draft until Jedi was coming out.

Re:READ IT!!!

[connorbd]

I refer to Yoda saying "No, there is another." Lucas had something up his sleeve. What exactly only he knew at the time, but he was hinting at something.

Re:READ IT!!!

[CrackedButter]

Lord of the rings wasn't that good.

Spoiler

[Spy der Mann]

Anakin becomes Darth Vader! (GASP)

Re:Spoiler

[chucks86]

Damn, now I don't have a movie to go to tomorrow night.

Re:Spoiler

[thatnerdguy]

Where exactly were you going to see it tomorrow night? tomorrow's h2g2 night anyways

Re:Spoiler

[HTH NE1]

Wow, what an ending! Who would have thought Han Solo was Luke Skywalker's half-brother.

Re:Spoiler

[chucks86]

Word was that the movie was going to be at my favorite theater either this or next week. I guess I was misinformed, though because I don't even see notice of "online release".

H2G2? Is that some sort of new SUV or something?

Re:Spoiler

[Anonymous Coward]

Another spoiler:

Anakin Force-chokes Padme to death before his lightsaber duel with Obi-Wan.

Re:Spoiler

[JWW]

Yeah, its not coming out tommorow, so Don't Panic.

Re:Spoiler

[keraneuology]

Alternate ending: Luke's brother is Chewbacca...

Re:Spoiler

[TheoGB]

HG2G = Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

H2G2 = Fuck knows...

Re:Spoiler

[Anonymous Coward]

Hitchhiker's (H2) Guide to the Galaxy (G2).

Re:Spoiler

[Ctrl-Z]

I believe that H2G2 = Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Cf. h2g2).

I've never seen HG2G used before.

Re:Spoiler

[phyruxus]

H2G2 = HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Re:Spoiler

[Anonymous Coward]

I thought Jar-Jar was supposed to be Chewbacca's mother.

Re:Spoiler

[Golias]

HG2G = Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

No, that would be "Hitchhiker's Guide 2 the Galaxy" which would be totally gay unless you are text-messaging about the movie with your Japanese girlfriend... or you just happen to be Prince. Even then: slightly gay.

It's H2G2, as a few others have illustrated.

Re:Spoiler

[Golias]

Another spoiler:

Anakin Force-chokes Padme to death before his lightsaber duel with Obi-Wan.

Yeah, but it was an accidental death. They were engaging in "breath play" at the time.

Re:Spoiler

[Anonymous Coward]

H2Ge2 = Hydrogermanic acid?

Re:Spoiler

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow, what an ending! Who would have thought Han Solo was Luke Skywalker's half-brother.

That's nothing! What blew me away was all the kangaroo-riding midgets in the final scene!

Re:Spoiler

[TheoGB]

Ah I see, I've seen h2g2 before but when I read it back I was thinking, "Fuck, what's the 2 stand for" hence my thinking HG2G??? :-D Cheers

Re:Spoiler

[Anonymous Coward]

You want a spoiler? I've got a spoiler for you. You will die alone!

/Triumph rocks tha hizz-ouse.

//Forgetting that I'm not posting on FARK

Re:Spoiler

[3dr]

Nice twist to deflect the truth. I applaud you attempt.

But here's the real spoiler: Chewbacca is Luke and Leia's love child.

Re:Spoiler

[TheoGB]

Though to be fair H2G2 is fairly weird. It always USED to be HHGTTG back when I were a nipper! :D

It didn't help that I was wondering how anyone COULDN'T know what H2G2 referred to even if it was the wrong sort of numbers and letters so leading me to wonder if he was being sarcy about the wrong ordering or something. Okay. Right. That's that muddied. What the fuck am I rambling about. Double 'offtopic' and 'redundant' I feel. Bleurgh...Time to go and listen to really really fucking loud music in Camden...

Re:Spoiler

[Craig_P92669]

I'm kind of suprised Lucas didn't change that part of the story. It would be cool if it turned out Mace was the real Darth. I've been watching A Lost Hope too much.

Re:Spoiler

[Anonymous Coward]

That doesn't make any sense.

Re:Spoiler

[Jeremi]

H2G2 = HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Yup, by using run-length encoding to replace the redundant 'G' with a repeat-count token, they've decreased the number of characters needed by an amazing 0%.

Stupid gits.

Re:Spoiler

[AussieVamp2]

half-brother from which side?

Re:Spoiler

[Anonymous Coward]

she is not killed by a force choke. she dies giving birth.

First Jedi mind trick

[worst_name_ever]

This is not the story you're looking for. Move along.

Re:First Jedi mind trick

[cronot]

This is not the story I'm looking for.

* Moves along *

Re:First Jedi mind trick

[technothrasher]

This is not the story you're looking for. Move along.

Slightly off topic, but I know people reading this thread would be the only ones to understand. I swear I actually had somebody try a Jedi Mind Trick on me in real life. I had a guy come into my liquor store and when I asked for ID, he said in a perfect dismissive way, "You don't need to see an ID. You can just take this money for the beer." It was so close to Obi-Wan in Mos Eisley that I couldn't help laughing. Unfortunately for him though, it didn't work.

Re:First Jedi mind trick

[Gulthek]

You are supposed to tell him to move along.

Re:First Jedi mind trick

[shmlco]

Unfortunately for him though, it didn't work.

You're just trying to prove you're not weak-minded.

Re:First Jedi mind trick

[dosun88888]

You're just trying to prove you're not weak-minded.

That's very difficult, considering he just said: I work the cashier in a liquor store.

~D

Re:First Jedi mind trick

[evenprime]

I think what you mean is that he works the cash register in a liquor store. That's very different than "working the cashier". Depending on what the cashier looks like, there could be a long line of people who want to work them. :)

Re:First Jedi mind trick

[Snaller]

So you are a toydarian, eh?

Didn't we see this already

[Anonymous Coward]

Didn't we see this astroturfing "reviews" when the latest episode came out? It was supposed to the best episode ever and when I went to see it, it was fucking crap aimed at 13-year old.

Re:Didn't we see this already

[ackthpt]

Didn't we see this astroturfing "reviews" when the latest episode came out? It was supposed to the best episode ever and when I went to see it, it was fucking crap aimed at 13-year old.

Well, based upon what you're likely to see if you go to this film, you'll see what depths Anakin and Palpatine sink for evil. I mean, this isn't rub your hands and cackle maniacally evil, this is turn on anyone and everyone to settle your scores, while having your strings pulled by a Mighty Evil Master(TM) evil. Darth Vader is supposed to be sinister and all we've really seen up to this point is a kid with some promise, growing up and getting angrier and angrier, sort of like the dark clouds gathering before a good old fashion midwestern thunderstorm which will probably be proceded by some devastating tornadoes. Revenge of the Sith will probably make some people very uneasy and produce some raving reviews 'won't someone please think of the children (yeah, get them GTA:SA instead.)

Sounds like Lucas did a fine job and I'm looking forward to my artery-clogging bucket of popcorn and half gallon of carbonated sugar water while gazing at the screen in total fascination.

Re:Didn't we see this already

[Anonymous Coward]

was fucking crap aimed at 13-year old.

Sounds like this time we'll have light-sabers and blasters aimed at 13-year olds.

Re:Didn't we see this already

[Anonymous Coward]

That, or Anikin will just brood some more about how much he doesn't like sand, and then abruptly turn into a fountain of misplaced rage for no damn reason at all.

Re:Didn't we see this already

[Bloomy]

Yeah, Harry Knowles raved about Episode II 2 months before it was released. Slashdot discussion of it.

The next Slashdot story with Episode II reviews was about a week before it opened, with raves and pans.

Spoiler on the article!

[Reignking]

Spoiler! Kevin Smith loved it.

I don't trust him

[slungsolow]

I can't trust a review from someone who constantly casts Ben Affleck.

Re:I don't trust him

[mcg1969]

Nor one who constantly casts Hayden Christiansen.

Re:I don't trust him

[MooseByte]

Seriously though, even if RotS is every bit as dark and well-written (and freakin' well-acted please!) as one could hope, am I the only one who is beyond giving a damn?

Looking at the last 2 from Lucas, it would be like having a 3-course meal where the final dish was fantastic but the first 2 gave you projectile-vomiting food poisoning. No real way to salvage the meal.

If I do see it, it'll be the DVD rental. A $5 rental for the entire family is all I'm willing to risk.

Re:I don't trust him

[dr_dank]

He was the bomb in Phantoms.

Re:I don't trust him

[Anonymous Coward]

Werd, Phantoms like a motha fucka

Re:I don't trust him

[Anonymous Coward]

I can't trust someone who liked DareDevil. I mean, come on!

Re:I don't trust him

[Omega1045]

Have you seen the director's version? Seriously, it is a completely different movie. It is about 30 minutes longer, has an entire sub-plot that makes much of the stuff in the movie actually make sense ie there are reasons behind Matt Murdoch's actions. I would recommend buying it up or renting it.

Re:I don't trust him

[n0-0p]

I'd switch that one around. Kevin Smith may be the one of the few directors who can cast Affleck well. Honestly, I've really liked the majority roles he's played in Smith's movies.

In general though, I think I can trust Smith's take on Episode 3. The guys a died in the wool geek who's work includes writing on comics like Green Arrow and Daredevil. I'm not saying I like everything he's done, but I respect his geek cred and feel that this review is genuine. That's more than I can say for most reviews I read.

Re:I don't trust him

[supmylO]

If you have seen Chasing Amy then you would know that Ben Affleck is actually _really_ good in that movie. He's also in Mallrats and is also good, although his part is far less significant. I haven't seen Jersey Girl but I know for fact that he has played some quality parts for Kevin Smith in the past.

Re:I don't trust him

[smittyoneeach]

am I the only one who is beyond giving a damn

I may be close on that one.
Credit where due: all these Lucas flicks are great entertainment.
However, since, in my yute, Episode IV came out, I have never achieved the quasi-religious devotion to the story that some seem to reach.
Maybe I'll buy all of the LoTR movies, and all the Star Wars movies, put them on opposing TVs, and let them fight it out...

Re:I don't trust him

[Herr_Nightingale]

I'm on the verge of not downloading it... after the Phantom Plot, and Attack of the Cloned Wooden Actors, there's no faint spark of hope that RotS won't suck donkey balls.
Expect a total letdown.
Jar Jar? Check.
Hayden Cristensen? Check.
Cartoon Yoda? Check.
Yup, it's gonna suck. I pity tha fools.

Re:I don't trust him

[duffer_01]

Are you sure?

Ben Affleck vs. Jar Jar Binks

I think the similarities are so close it is scary!

Re:I don't trust him

[Anonymous Coward]

Dude: "dyed-in-the-wool" as in coloring dye, not death ;)

Re:I don't trust him

[Anonymous Coward]

C'mon baby, Who's your favorite New Kid? Call me Donny! Call me Joey!

Re:I don't trust him

[Anonymous Coward]

Are you sure he's not REALLY dead, choked by a scarf?

Re:I don't trust him

[Anonymous Coward]

> died in the wool

mutton?

Re:I don't trust him

[zomper514]

Afflek was the bomb in Phantoms

Re:I don't trust him

[Elwood P Dowd]

You're going to agree with anyone who's a great big geek?

You can be a geek and still think Kevin Smith's taste isn't perfect. He makes fun movies. He's also a fanboy. I hope he's right, and his review is convincing, but he could be wrong.

Re:I don't trust him

[16K Ram Pack]

I'm tired of hearing about how "dark" it is. It smacks of hype to get people who feel cheated out of money for EP1 and 2 to think this is going to be another "Empire".

When the buzz is that it's great, I'll go. Otherwise, I'll be renting it.

Re:I don't trust him

[Anonymous Coward]

all these Lucas flicks are great entertainment.

Ahem, you misspelled "pile of crap."

Re:I don't trust him

[Jeremi]

Don't forget Dogma, a great movie with Affleck well casted.

Jersey Girl, on the other hand, is a crime against humanity. If you haven't seen it, count yourself very lucky.

Re:I don't trust him

[smittyoneeach]

Oh, pshaw: when you have box office release #1 under your belt (irrespective of whether it draws vacuum) then you may be in a position to call Lucas's body of work a "pile of crap".
That's like whining about a Sourceforge project, when you've no tarballs of your own, much less hair on them.

Re:I don't trust him

[14erCleaner]

In general though, I think I can trust Smith's take on Episode 3. The guys a died in the wool geek

And don't forget that, as Silent Bob, he used The Force in the climactic scene of Mallrats.

Re:I don't trust him

[B3ryllium]

He was kind of a dick in Jersey Girl, but then, I gather that's what the character was supposed to be.

Re:I don't trust him

[Anonymous Coward]

Are you serious? Phantoms like a muthafu**er.

Re:I don't trust him

[Anonymous Coward]

I respect his geek cred and feel that this review is genuine.

Yes, as genuine as the review where he said how much he liked episode 1.

Re:I don't trust him

[Anonymous Coward]

Consider Independence Day: box office smash-hit, but still pile of crap.

Re:I don't trust him

[weslocke]

Looking at the last 2 from Lucas, it would be like having a 3-course meal where the final dish was fantastic but the first 2 gave you projectile-vomiting food poisoning. No real way to salvage the meal.

He got the idea from the Enterprise run. .snicker.

Re:I don't trust him

[Anonymous Coward]

Your attention is drawn to http://www.agonybooth.com/

Re:I don't trust him

[Doc Ido]

"hehe, Ben Ass-fleck." -Too obscure?

Re:I don't trust him

[self assembled struc]

i wasn't even with a hooker today!

Re:I don't trust him

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes, because we all know it's impossible to have an opinion if you've never made a #1 movie, right?

See, I have this funny thing called a *BRAIN*, which allows me to make observations, and draw conclusions based on those observations. I sat through Episodes 1 and 2, and they are crap, plain and simple.

I highly suggest you look into getting a brain sometime - it might improve your observational skills.

Re:I don't trust him

[damsa]

Anyone that can cast Affleck as AssMan is alright with me.

Re:I don't trust him

[Paul Slocum]

That award should go to Richard Linklater for casting him as the moronic asshole O'Bannion in "Dazed and Confused". He really captured that character well!

-paul

Re:I don't trust him

[Anonymous Coward]

i gather that all of his "characters" are who he really is.

Re:I don't trust him

[cgreuter]

Kevin Smith may be the one of the few directors who can cast Affleck well. Honestly, I've really liked the majority roles he's played in Smith's movies.

It's not Affleck's acting ability that's the problem. It's just that the man can't pick a good film role to save his life. He does Kevin Smith movies as a favour to Smith and those are good roles because Smith makes good movies. Daredevil was crap despite Affleck's work.

Also, I can't believe I'm discussing Ben Affleck on Slashdot.

Re:I don't trust him

[Anonymous Coward]

Request read more slowly. "Release #1" == "the first release", not a "#1 movie".
For further response, read the rest of your comment to yourself, sir.

Re:I don't trust him

[Ira Sponsible]

OMFG! You BASTARD! You complete and Utter Bastard! I have spent months in physical therapy after the brain surgery to have that memory physically scrubbed out. I JUST NOW LEARNED HOW TO WALK AGAIN! Now I have to go back to the hospital to have that contaminated section of my brain removed. Perhaps I'll just get a shotgun and shoot myself. THAT'S THE REAL REASON KURT KILLED HIMSELF - HE READ THE SCRIPT TO JERSY GIRL AND COULDN'T TAKE IT!!!111!!!!

Re:I don't trust him

[S.O.B.]

Oh, pshaw: when you have box office release #1 under your belt (irrespective of whether it draws vacuum) then you may be in a position to call Lucas's body of work a "pile of crap"

Unless YOU have a #1 box office success I guess you're not entitled to an opinion either.

And "pshaw"? Who the hell talks like that.

Re:I don't trust him

[Anonymous Coward]

Request read more slowly. "Release #1" == "the first release", not a "#1 movie".

Re:I don't trust him

[Anonymous Coward]

Chasing Amy was a piece of crap, and Affleck contributed greatly to that crapness (although not as much as Smith's girlfriend did).

Re:I don't trust him

[Anonymous Coward]

Request write more clearly.

Re:I don't trust him

[shlong]

Nor one who constantly casts Mark Hamill.

Re:I don't trust him

[S.O.B.]

For the record, movies are released in theatres not box offices. When someone mentions box offices it's usually in reference to financial success. That's what I thought was being clumsily indicated. Instead it was something else being clumsily indicated.

So, unless YOU have theatrical release #1 then I guess you're not entitled to an opinion either.

Re:I don't trust him

[AussieVamp2]

Maybe someone can re-edit and put in Mr T as Jar Jar instead?

Re:I don't trust him

[AussieVamp2]

thought you meant a director's version of Phantoms there for a minute :")

Re:I don't trust him

[Herr_Nightingale]

I'd settle for Mr. T kicking some jibba-jabba latex Binks ass with an air-powered cabbage launcher cobbled together from lipstick, three paperclips and a bathroom sponge.
"Gotta get my gold, foo!"

Re:I don't trust him

[TheoMurpse]

Nor one who constantly casts Natalie Portman and doesn't include hot grits and petrification.

Re:I don't trust him

[smittyoneeach]

For the record, I took third place in a one-act playwriting contest as an undergrad (not bad for an engineering major) which was then staged by the theater group.
The fellow who was to direct the piece ripped my face off, editorially speaking, for having turned in some work that would have made a nifty little short film, but utterly sucked for stage. I had a lot of characters, substantially older characters, and difficult scene transitions.
The play was, in a sentence, like an episode of "Friends" set at a college with a lot of card playing.
Suffice it to say that, while I don't have a lot of experience, my insight is that these things are non-trivial, and the original "pile of crap" accusation directed at GL remains unfair.

Re:I don't trust him

[Anonymous Coward]

Request read more slowly.

Ahh.. that's why everybody is misinterpreting you - you have the mental age of a three year old.

Once you manage to bring your writing skills up to third grade level, you might have fewer problems with people misunderstanding what you write.

And you might have a better opinion of the Star Wars prequels..

Re:I don't trust him

[S.O.B.]

Third place in an undergrad playwriting contest does not make your opinion any more right than anyone else's. Steven Spielberg's opinion is no more valid than anyone else's. The point to this whole exchange is that a person doesn't have to be "in the business" to have an opinion about it.

You don't have to be a chef to know if a meal tastes good or bad.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion. You may not think what Lucas has done is crap but others, myself included, think it is. The story is weak, the dialog predictable and he relys waaaaay too much on special effects to unsuccessfully make up for the deficiencies. Lucky for him the general public is easily impressed.

Re:I don't trust him

[smittyoneeach]

Third place in an undergrad playwriting contest does not make your opinion any more right than anyone else's. Steven Spielberg's opinion is no more valid than anyone else's. The point to this whole exchange is that a person doesn't have to be "in the business" to have an opinion about it.
You don't have to be a chef to know if a meal tastes good or bad.

Fair enough.
But I recall my father, who grabs a salt shaker and layers his food in sodium chloride before the first bite, and I think--hey, have a go at being the chef before dismissing someone else's work.
No, my opinion doesn't deserve any more privilege; wasn't trying to say that.

Lucky for him the general public is easily impressed.

Recall that his target audience is kids.

Phantom Edit

[Anonymous Coward]

Anyone feel like posting a Spoiler-Free edit?

I just can't bring myself to read it...

Re:Phantom Edit

[Trigun]

Don't worry, Slashdot's taken care of that for you.

Spoiler Free summary?

[(54)T-Dub]

Since I don't like spoilers would someone be interested in reading the article and give me a basic summary (here come the spoilers). It would have been nice if the summary did as much.

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[mobiux]

Um, he said it was dark, dark, dark.
1000x darker than Empire.
Way dark.

He also said this is the movie the haters have been waiting for since Phantom.

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[metlin]

Somebody should turn up the gamma, then.

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[stupidfoo]

Um, he said it was dark, dark, dark.
1000x darker than Empire.
Way dark.

Is it.... Doom 3 dark?

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[JWW]

It's like more black than black its so dark.

Sorry....

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[MrAnnoyanceToYou]

Summary: Kevin Smith admits he is predisposed to like a Star Wars movie, but still calls it great because it is not as cheesy as the first two. He says that if you complained about the first two being kiddie, you now have no excuses. He then goes into rather gory detail about all the little tie-ins and close-ups and endings that you thought could never be put together in one movie. He raves about the space and saber battles.

All in all, I think the review was okay, but don't trust Kevin Smith after Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I saw that movie and wanted my money back. Haven't seen anything new of his since.

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[Eccles]

Way dark.

"It's like, how much more black could this be? and the answer is none. None more black."

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[Anonymous Coward]

If you didn't like Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, you should stick to movies like Seabiscuit, Driving Miss Daisy, English Patient, shit like that.

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[flyingsquid]

Um, he said it was dark, dark, dark. 1000x darker than Empire. Way dark.

Sounds like instead of going into the theater, Kevin Smith accidentally wandered into a broom closet with a burnt-out light bulb and hung out eating a big tub of popcorn for two hours.

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[Guppy06]

"He also said this is the movie the haters have been waiting for since Phantom."

Jar-jar dies! w00t!

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[fshalor]

I'm smelling a donie darko reference..

dark, darker...darko.

I'll go see it though. Renting the PM and AotC first for the directors cuts though.

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[LePrince]

Haven't seen anything new of his since.

I see you're still in denial from Jersey Girl...

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[Anonymous Coward]

Ok, 2 things WRT to Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back :

1) It's a movie, not real life. Anyone that can't appreciate Jay pausing to take a hit from his double-ended blunt-saber while battling Mark "Luke" Hammill needs to have that pin removed from their ass-crack with a bulldozer.
2) Even if you're not that uptight and still didn't like the movie, I'd suggest you try starting from the ground up. Clerks, MallRats, Chasing Amy, Dogma and then finally go back and re-watch Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[pjbass]

So he ate popcorn while watching Doom 3?

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[Impeesa]

To borrow a quote... it's like... how much more dark could this be? And the answer is none. None more dark.

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[B3ryllium]

Dude. That's dark.

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[Atzanteol]

How much more black could it be? None. None more black.

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[SpryGuy]

How much more black can it be?

The answer is none! None more black!

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[grasshoppa]

All in all, I think the review was okay, but don't trust Kevin Smith after Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I saw that movie and wanted my money back. Haven't seen anything new of his since.

1) Just what did you think you were getting when you went to see this film? I expected dick and fart jokes, lo and behold, that's exactly what I got.

2) The uncut version was fucking hilarious. Doggy lipstick and the hooker scene. Amazing.

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[Fitzghon]

Um, he said it was dark, dark, dark. 1000x darker than Empire. Way dark.

Sounds like instead of going into the theater, Kevin Smith accidentally wandered into a broom closet with a burnt-out light bulb and hung out eating a big tub of popcorn for two hours.

Or, sounds like he was playing some Doom 3.

Fitzghon

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't forget to buy and watch Clerks: The Animated Series. There are references to it as well in the movie (If we were funny ABC wouldn't have cancelled us), plus its just a riot, even the directors commentary.

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, or maybe you just have to be really fucking stoned to think anything involving a "double-ended blunt saber" is the height of comedy.

heh.. DUDE... weeeeeeeeeeeed. no DUDE. WEEEEEEEEEEED.

Christ, stoners are boring.

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[crimson30]

Just what did you think you were getting when you went to see this film?

I, for one, was looking for something along the lines of Clerks, MallRats, Chasing Amy or Dogma. I felt Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back fell terribly, terribly short on that expectation.

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[Anonymous Coward]

It was probably more entertaining than seeing the movie anyway...

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[Anonymous Coward]

Did he mention dark?

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[AussieVamp2]

Mondo dead Jedi. Dude. (and a few babies)

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[AussieVamp2]

exactly commentaries fun too

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[mrch0mp3rs]

He also said this is the movie the haters have been waiting for since Phantom.

Dude, Affleck was the BOMB in Phantoms, yo!

Re:Spoiler Free summary?

[mink]

"It's so ... black!" said Ford Prefect, "you can hardly make out its shape ... light just seems to fall into it!"

Zaphod said nothing. He had simply fallen in love.

The blackness of it was so extreme that it was almost impossible to tell how close you were standing to it.

____

"It's black," said Ford, "Everything in it is just totally black ..."

____

"It's the wild colour scheme that freaks me," said Zaphod whose love affair with this ship had lasted almost three minutes into the flight, "Every time you try to operate on of these weird black controls that are labelled in black on a black background, a little black light lights up black to let you know you've done it. What is this? Some kind of galactic hyperhearse?"

The walls of the swaying cabin were also black, the ceiling was black, the seats - which were rudimentary since the only important trip this ship was designed for was supposed to be unmanned - were black, the control panel was black, the instruments were black, the little screws that held them in place were black, the thin tufted nylon floor covering was black, and when they had lifted up a corner of it they had discovered that the foam underlay also was black.

Kevin says..over and over

[cOdEgUru]

That the movie is dark, Dark, darK, DARK..DARK..DARK!!

I hope it aint so dark as not to see its flaws!

*ducks*

Re:Kevin says..over and over

[jmcneill]

I hope it aint so dark as not to see its flaws!

It must have been based off Doom 3.

Re:Kevin says..over and over

[Anonymous Coward]

I knew the Doom movie wasn't going to have anything to do with...well...Doom, but having to do with Jedi. That's just strange....

Re:Kevin says..over and over

[Random Data]

Too dark to appreciate their technical brilliance, and not quite dark enough to hide the complete lack of plot. That's right, Episode III is DOOM III! You heard it here first!

Re:Kevin says..over and over

[Anonymous Coward]

Is this the Doom3 movie!?!?!

Re:Kevin says..over and over

[Rimbo]

So basically, this is like Doom 3 without the interactivity, and with Sith Lords instead of Demons?

Re:Kevin says..over and over

[Neop2Lemus]

"Dark" is a way of saying that it suck but we still want you to see it.

I remember hearing Scream II and Final Fantasy both being described as...[ wait for it..] "Dark".

The second one I enjoyed, but it wasn't a good film.

Re:Kevin says..over and over

[AussieVamp2]

Jedi instead of demons?

What? There's a new Star Wars coming out??

[filesiteguy]

I thought that the movie was just released.

I hear there are rumors that Anakin turns to the dark side.

Seriously, I think I've been anticipating this one more than I did TPM.

Awesome Review!

[Uptown Joe]

I can't wait to see III.
- Did anyone else instantly think of the "Empire" scene in Clerks when you heard that Kevin Smith wrote the review?

Re:Awesome Review!

[Total_Wimp]

Did anyone else instantly think of the "Empire" scene in Clerks when you heard that Kevin Smith wrote the review?

I pictured Silent Bob doing the Jedi mind trick to get the video tape in Mall Rats. There were others too, but that's the one that flashed through my mind.

TW

Revenge of the Shill!

[ABCC]

this had better not be a rent-a-quote!

Re:Revenge of the Shill!

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, dude. Kevin Smith needed to make a few bucks and had nothing better to do.

WTF?

[AresTheImpaler]

How hard was to include a sentence saying if it was good or not, so that we dont have to read over the spoilers?

Re:WTF?

[kettleoffish]

"Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome." Is the first line of the review really that hard to read?

Re:WTF?

[angle_slam]

The first line is "SITH SPOILERS". Some people really don't want to go past that part.

Re:WTF?

[gl4ss]

actually, it's not a review. at all.

in the end he says that he would have probably liked it no matter what it was anyways.. and it's only a quick spoiler run of the movie and nothing else.

will get a shitload of hits that way though.. his site i mean...

Re:WTF?

[Anonymous Coward]

Who is this awesome person and what dose fucking this person have anything to do with the revenge of the Sith.

maby:
1) fuck awesome
2) ...
3) revenge

Here you go

[Anonymous Coward]

"SITH" SPOILERS

You've been warned...

- "Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome.

[Spoilers removed]

"Sith" doesn't happen; "Sith" rules.

Slashdotting Clerks-style

[Anonymous Coward]

The poor View Askew web server. I bet it's probably thinking to itself, "I'm not even supposed to be here today."

Re:Slashdotting Clerks-style

[Trimbo2]

What smells like shoe polish?

Re:Slashdotting Clerks-style

[Anonymous Coward]

But without reading the article, I can tell you Kevin Smith's favorite character:
Chewbacca! Chewie! Oooooooohhhh, what a Wookie!

Re:Slashdotting Clerks-style

[dr_dank]

Slashdotter: Cute server, whats its name?
Site: Annoying geek
Slashdotter: fuckin' jerk

Re:Slashdotting Clerks-style

[doormat]

The first comment I've seen in a while that deserves more than +5.

Re:Slashdotting Clerks-style

[TheoGB]

So the real question is: If Slashdot provides a portal to websites that then instantly fall over from all the traffic: What's so good about Slashdot that it never falls over from too much traffic.

And: Why doesn't everyone just host with Slashdot.

It's like the old "Why don't they make planes out of the stuff they make the black box recorder out of?" question.

Passion of the Clerks

[Anonymous Coward]

Hopefully he drops another reference to the Death Star contractors in his next movie. :)

Spoilers?

[digidave]

The book the movie is based on was written in the 70's.

Re:Spoilers?

[PeterChenoweth]

{Let's see, what do we know from 4-6. Darth Vader is Luke's father, and Leia is his sister} Yes, yes, I know that Luke and Leia are the siblings. Sounds like I said that Leia is Anakin's sister. Of course she isn't.

Re:Spoilers?

[Nastard]

What book would that be?

Re:Spoilers?

[digidave]

The original nine books in the series. I believe they were all pulled from the shelves once they realized how big Ep. 4 was going to be, so as not to dilute their movie revenue.

I'm not sure if they were ever released again, nor who the author is.

Re:Spoilers?

[Alcilbiades]

Lol the book to episode 3 is already out. Perhaps you should check Amazon.com before you post.

Re:Spoilers?

[Zoso20]

Ease off the pipe there dave.......you might be a little confused.....the other books were never ever written or published......they were just notes in one of Lucas's notebooks....... Yes he had originnaly planned 9 movies......he never planned a book series..........

Re:Spoilers?

[jacen_sunstrider]

Are you mental? Lucas didn't even have plans to make a trilogy, let alone 9 movies :P He had just made up backstory and forward story, and as his success rate went, he realized he could do well making that first trilogy, and now this trilogy.

I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but Lucas has /never/ written a SW book. He's done some scriptwork, but every books been either done by some guy real close to Lucas (name escapes me), or LucasFilms licensed authors who have developed several (and I mean several) dozens of books, and I know that for a fact since I own all of them!

And the book is indeed out for Ep. III, written by Mathew Stover (author of best selling SW:NJO: Traitor). It was adapted from the screenplay, as ALL of the other books were.

Re:Spoilers?

[pyrrhonist]

I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but Lucas has /never/ written a SW book.

Wrong.

Re:Spoilers?

[Anonymous Coward]

So are you saying that my first edition of *Star Wars* by George Lucas is illusory? There were nine episodes listed in the first memo GL gave Fox. He has since cut it down to 6.

Re:Spoilers?

[CoffeeJedi]

nope, you're wrong, the original novel was ghostwritten by Alan Dean Foster

Re:Spoilers?

[Nastard]

From StarWars.com (emphasis mine):

Asked which idea came first... Anakin or Luke, Lucas explained the genesis of the series, " There was originally to be one film , I wanted it to be Episode IV of a serial (maybe out of 12 or something) that you would never see the first or last episodes of. That's what happened in the '30s, you had trailers, and a short cartoon, and then a cliffhanger. That serial-style is what Star Wars is based on."

"I started with Anakin Starkiller and his two kids, then I got to a draft that's kind of what we know now, but it was 200 pages. Then that became three films. I never thought I'd go back and do the original stories, regardless of what the press says or what's out there. But then the necessary film technology came along and I came to grips with being known forever as George 'Star Wars' Lucas."

Re:Spoilers?

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually, I've waited my whole life to see Episodes 4-6 until after ROTS and now you've ruined it for me.

Thanks alot.

Re:Spoilers?

[Neurotoxic666]

Why is everyone so worried about spoilers? What spoilers? Is there someone here who *hasn't* seen Episodes 4-6? Everyone knows what is supposed to happen in Episode 3.

I totally agree. It's just like LotR -- everybody read the book already, and the movies were no less fun to watch.

We all know what happens and what we don't know, we can make up being 90% sure it's gonna be right. The story here isn't the corner stone, especially since Lucas turned into a marketing behemot and relies more on CGI than good script and actors.

Re:Spoilers?

[Anonymous Coward]

Funny thing is, this is NOT what he was saying back in 1977 about "The Journal of the Whills."

Kevin Sith?

[Anonymous Coward]

C'mon, someone had to say it...

Biased review

[Anonymous Coward]

I get the gist that kevin loved ROTS...

Isn't he slated in a production role for the upcoming TV series?

I would take the review with a few grains...

Re:Biased review

[Anonymous Coward]

I would take the review with a few grains...

My thoughts exactly. I'd treat this review with as much credit as if Lucas had written it himself.

Hey, I got an idea! Let's get the director of The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy to write a review of his movie! I wonder what he'd think of it?

Re:Biased review

[Anonymous Coward]

A negative review about 'Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy' by someone too close to the subject matter to be objective and most of slashdot whine about how they knew it was going to be rubbish and this just proves it.

A positive review about 'Star Wars Episode III' by someone too close to the subject matter to be objective and most of slashdot whine about how it was written by a fanboy and the film is still going to be rubbish.

Nobody on Slashdot has yet seen either of the films.

So! Either most Slashdotters are a bunch of contrary arseholes who have never grown up or they are Force adepts who can see into the future. Which one is most likley?

Kevin Smith is invited by Lucas...

[Anonymous Coward]

...and gets the positive review he (Lucas) paid for. Sorry, but I don't take fanboys reviews seriously.

Spoiler that eases the mind...

[riptide_dot]

Warning - this is a spoiler. Don't read the italics if you really don't want to know what happens:

At flick's end, Threepio and Artoo are given to Captain Antilles (with the caveat that the Protocol's memory be wiped).

Count me as one fan that's really glad that this little detail was included - I was wondering how they were going to deal with Threepio and R2D2 not recognizing Obi-Wan and others they had met in the prequels. Kind of makes Obi's reaction to seeing the droids in EP4 seem a little more mysterious too, even though that probably wasn't the intention when EP4 was shot ("I don't recall owning any droids").

Re:Spoiler that eases the mind...

[Vaevictis666]

Well, it was almost 20 years since he'd seen the droids or something?

Re:Spoiler that eases the mind...

[nizo]

So do they remove R2D2's thrusters that allow him to fly around too?

Re:Spoiler that eases the mind...

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, it seems to me Obi-Wan didn't actually *own* any droids. They travelled with him, sure, but he didn't *own* them.

That's just my interpretation there.

Re:Spoiler that eases the mind...

[devoss]

That doesn't answer the bigger question: When does Threepio come out of the robot closet?

Re:Spoiler that eases the mind...

[Anonymous Coward]

indeed, one was built by darth vader, the other had belonged to padme. obi-wan never owned either of the droids. not to mention about 20 years went by between the this movie and the original starwars.

Re:Spoiler that eases the mind...

[Anonymous Coward]

yes, but those weren't the driods he was looking for...but they're for sale if you want...

Re:Spoiler that eases the mind...

[drinkypoo]

Nah, they just run on JP4 and all the Universe's supplies of petroleum are used up due to an infatuation with internal combustion engines that seems to grip every civilization emerging from the dark beginnings of its first industrial age.

Re:Spoiler that eases the mind...

[jamesoutlaw]

"C3PO isn't gay... He's British" haha

(That's a quote from an episode of Will & Grace)

Re:Spoiler that eases the mind...

[Anonymous Coward]

*semi-spoiler*

Obi-Wan didn't own the droids. R2 belonged to Padme, and 3PO belonged to Anakin.

It's not a perfect explanation... you figure Obi would still recall the two druids... however there are a ton of 3PO-R2 look a like droids in this time... recall the ESB doid that looked like 3PO only silver.

Re:Spoiler that eases the mind...

[kin_korn_karn]

Or, Obi-Wan could have been lying to Luke when he said he didn't know the droids. Or if you're into psychobabble, maybe it's a represssed memory, since the droids were associated in obi-wan's mind with a horrible tragic event.

Re:Spoiler that eases the mind...

[Anonymous Coward]

Slashdot is a Simpsons only quote zone! Get'em boys!

Re:Spoiler that eases the mind...

[MixmastaKooz]

Exactly: he said he didn't recall owning the droids and did not preclude any other relationship. It was Sir Alec's great acting (his demeanour was very "cagey" when he met Luke) that allows Lucas to exploit this relationship/statement/loophole and have it hold true!

Re:Spoiler that eases the mind...

[Lord Kano]

No silly, the Imperial Senate signs on to the Kyoto Protocol and fuel for the thrusters becomes too expensive.

LK

Re:Spoiler that eases the mind...

[anakin876]

Druids? druids? These aren't the druids you're looking for....

Re:Spoiler that eases the mind...

[MagicDude]

Or, it could just be that Obi-Wan didn't remember them because R2D2 style astromech droids were so commonplace that he didn't have any way of recognising this one as the same droid he had a few adventures with 20 years ago.

As for C3PO, gold plated protocol driods were probably commonplace too. At the beginning of episode IV, they even showed a random extra C3PO style droid on the ship. Also when they were on the death star, none of the imperials seemed to react to C3PO like "Whoa, I've never seen that kind of droid before". Just because he was built by Aniken from spare parts doesn't mean that Anakin designed a completely new droid, but rather used a proven and reliable droid design that was already in use. Also, if you think about it, Obi-Wan never met C3PO in episodes I or II. In episode I while on Tatooine, Obi Wan stayed on the ship while Qui Gon and the others went into town. Then in episode II, the only time C3PO and Obi Wan were in the same area was during the arena battle, and C3PO was half battle droid at the time (or rather, two half battle droids). So unless episode III gives some real compelling reason for why Obi-Wan should remember them, I can believe that he honestly didn't remember them in episode IV.

Re:Spoiler that eases the mind...

[obeythefist]

If you remember Attack of the Clones (yes many people are trying to forget), Obi Wan doesn't actually share any screen time with R2D2 or C-3P0. If Sith is written smartly, he won't share any screen time there either. In fact, even in Phantom, Obi-Wan never left the ship to walk around on Tattoine, so he never met 3P0 there either. He may have seen R2D2 but only as Padme's personal astromech droid. Because Padme needed an astromech droid. Anyway. Blah.

Re:Spoiler that eases the mind...

[AussieVamp2]

Heeeeeeeyyyyyyyy big fella, I'll be your golden boy

Don't care about spoilers, I need to know...

[DA_MAN_DA_MYTH]

I thought, so I read one line... All I needed:

- "Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome.

I closed the page, that's all I needed to know.

Few words...

[zixor]

You want a non-spoiler summary of the review? The fist sentence: "Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome Nuff said.

spoilers

[illtron]

Sometimes I wish I hadn't read every spoiler on millenniumfalcon.com. I know way more about this one going in than any of the previous prequels, but I'm still excited.

Personally, I think most of the hate directed at the previous two, Jar-Jar comments aside, was a media invention. Things get repeated enough and people start to believe it. I'm sure the same thing will happen this time around to some degree, but this is seriously the movie that fans have been waiting for. The previous two were sort of procedural. Sure, it's great to see where Anakin comes from, but admit it -- what you really want is to see him kill children.

Re:spoilers

[Anonymous Coward]

i agree that the hatred for the first movie was mostly contrived and snowballed, but the second one really did blow. hard.

Re:spoilers

[Anonymous Coward]

"Personally, I think most of the hate directed at the previous two, Jar-Jar comments aside, was a media invention."

Wishful. Fucking. Thinking.

"Sure, it's great to see where Anakin comes from, but admit it -- what you really want is to see him kill children."

Bizarre! Fucking! Thinking!

Re:spoilers

[riptide_dot]

Sure, it's great to see where Anakin comes from, but admit it -- what you really want is to see him kill children.

That's funny. On a serious note though, what I really want to see is Hayden actually make the distinct transformation from "whiny teenager jedi" to "cool headed evil dark sith master". Like Luke did in ROTJ, but with even more of a noticable transformation. But seeing Vader kill lots of people is gonna be really cool too...MWAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHA...:)

Re:spoilers

[MisanthropicProgram]

Personally, I think most of the hate directed at the previous two, Jar-Jar comments aside, was a media invention.

Not in my case. The first episode was sooo over hyped that when I did see it, I was very disappointed. It seamed more like a toy advertisement than a movie.
The second was a little better and I didn't hate that one. I didn't think it was that good either.

Re:spoilers

[illtron]

By that I mean that people want to see him turn to the dark side. They want to see what, exactly, makes Darth Vader so awful. They want to see him "help the empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi" as Ben says in ANH. Nobody cares about his mommy issues.

Notice that I didn't say the first two were the greatest movies ever. They're not. But I wanted more depth to the Star Wars universe, and I got it.

And personally, nothing is more offensive to me than the musical number Lucas added to ROTJ.

Re:spoilers

[complexmath]

As far as I'm concerned, Anakin already made the transition, though it was never really reflected onscreen. Let's see if I remember the sequence of events correctly:

* Anakin is a whiny brat on an extended date with Amidala
* Anakin murders an entire community of sand people for practically no reason
* Anakin goes and tells Amidala this, and in celebration they declare their love from one another and conceive the twins

That "murders an entire community of sand people" bit was the transition, IMO. It just happened offscreen with no real preamble in the story.

Re:spoilers

[mekkab]

Personally, I think most of the hate directed at the previous two, Jar-Jar comments aside, was a media invention.

Well, chalk up another piece of anecdotal evidence; I thought those movies blew. They were weak; they were derivative; I didn't care about any of the characters; the acting was stilted and unbelievable.

Re:spoilers

[Anonymous Coward]

you are delusional ... those movies were bad enough to taint star wars forever for many long-time fans. for someone who grew up with star wars, i have yet to not fall asleep while watching phantom menace.

if you need further proof that lucas doesn't have clue anymore, look at what he has done to the original movies by re-mastering them over and over into the pile of trash that they now are. (han shoots first, etc...)

people are going to give this movie a good review just because there is more violence? lucas took the easy way out.

Re:spoilers

[riptide_dot]

That "murders an entire community of sand people" bit was the transition, IMO. It just happened offscreen with no real preamble in the story.

I was talking more about the transformation to someone who wasn't so insecure (which he still was when he slaughtered the sand people, and after when he was explaining it). Darth Vader was a cool, collected, leader who inspired his followers through fear and didn't fly off the handle at anyone. It's a maturity thing I guess, and it would be really cool to see Hayden portray that change onscreen. Maybe it doesn't happen until he actually gets his ass handed to him by Obi-Wan, but either way it would be nice to see it happen onscreen. I think Hayden is capable of doing it (in "Life as a House" his acting was actually impressive).

Re:spoilers

[geekwithsoul]

most of the hate directed at the previous two, Jar-Jar comments aside, was a media invention

Do you live in a cave? Perhaps you've been in a coma? Have you not talked to any old-time Star Wars fans since the first two prequels came out?

The first prequel was compared more than once to C-Span in space. It was boring, long-winded, and didn't move the narrative along at all. And it had the worst fictional character ever to be seen on film, aka Jar-Jar.

The second was a little better, and indeed had some cool sequences, but on the whole was a rather weak attempt.

Any true Star Wars fan-boy thinks ESB was the best Star Wars film, and we've all been waiting for George to get done barfing out Ewoks and get on with what we all knew was possible.

That said, when it comes to Kevin Smith and Star Wars, if he says it's fucking awesome, then I'm willing to at least suspend judgement until I see the film. He's not quite like Peter Jackson is to LOTR, but he's close, and he knows if he goes out on a limb in praise of the movie and it sucks, no one is ever going to believe him again. Not to mention that if he pisses off enough of his fan base (which have a large number of Star Wars fans), his upcoming sequel to Clerks will be a complete bomb.

Re:spoilers

[flyingsquid]

Well, chalk up another piece of anecdotal evidence; I thought those movies blew. They were weak; they were derivative; I didn't care about any of the characters; the acting was stilted and unbelievable.

Pft. Obviously, you're just a media invention as well.

Re:spoilers

[frenchgates]

What astonishing revisionist history. I assure you the hatred for the first two movies is real and widespread.

And how can you possibly say "Jar-Jar comments aside"? Jar-jar was a huge presence in the first film and went a long way to ruining that stinking pile.

But if you do leave him out for the sake of argument, the first two films were giant disappointments to a large, large number of people.

Most of those people, admittedly, are adults, but I am so tired of people saying "Oh if you loved the first series when you were ten, you just need to see the new ones through the eyes of a ten year old."

Think for five seconds and you can come up with a list of five kid's movies that adults generally love. You can tell a kid's movie sucks when only kids love it.

Re:spoilers

[16K Ram Pack]

Count me in as one of those who say that it's not a "media invention". In fact, I've not met many people who loved the first movies, or even liked them that much.

I found EP1 bearable as a cinema experience. I bought the video of EP1. Know how many times I watched it? Once. Then it collected dust. It doesn't take multiple viewings.

EP2 was truly appalling, though. Numerous daft plot points that made me go "huh?" or led nowhere, lifeless CG, terrible acting and direction all round. Overall, not a single character that I cared about. No word of a lie, it's the worst film that I've paid money to see at the cinema, beating out Police Academy IV.

You think people want to hate these movies? They certainly don't. They wanted them to be great. I still think that they could have been great - there was an interesting story that could have been told. It was wasted, though.

Re:spoilers

[katarac]

Anakin murders an entire community of sand people for practically no reason

Hrm... I don't know if I agree there. If I came to a village and my mom was laying there in a hut beaten and tortured, well.... I might take it upon myself to slaughter that village. If I was a complete badass that is.

Re:spoilers

[TheSwirlingMaelstrom]

Personally, I think most of the hate directed at the previous two, Jar-Jar comments aside, was a media invention. Things get repeated enough and people start to believe it.

Nope, I honestly disliked Episodes I and II whatever the marketing-types might say... Episode I would more aptly be named "The Marketing Menace" and II "The Corporate Wars": they were, quite frankly, the biggest budget fucking crap I've ever seen. Lucas should have let someone else write the screen-play and direct.

I'm disillusioned enough that I won't go and see the final movie in the theater: I'll rent it when it comes out on DVD. I wish I had the $10 per movie I paid to see Episodes I and II back, and the four hours of my life...

Re:spoilers

[sielwolf]

Pfff, you are just a puppet of the Hollywood cum Media cum Military industrial triumvirate! You don't even know who you are anymore, man! You're a total Manchurian. You just don't know it! GET OUT OF HERE DENZEL!!!#!@$@#$

Re:spoilers

[Coryoth]

My views of the first two prequels is not based on the repeated prevailing opinion. I didn't really like them that much, and I have my own reasons for thinking that.

I felt the first film was rather fractured with 3 surprisingly disjoint acts - yes that has been the general pattern for Star Wars films, but Ep IV was much more continuous in its flow, Ep V had the second act split to two stories that were interleaved before bringing everything back together for a final conclusion (a trick often used in "epic" storytelling) and kept a consistent focus on the small set of main characters (Luke, Han and Leia) and their difficulties. Ep VI, the weakest of the originals was also the most disjoint with a muddled second act trying to stitch together the grand set pieces of the first and third. Ep I is similar, but worse: we are introduced to main characters and given an interesting looking first act, but then essentially disregard Obi Wan and Qui Gon for a largely unrelated second act involving Anakin and pod racing which seems more of a distraction and contrivance before being thrown back quickly into a set piece finale. Yes the light sabre battle was great. Yes the opening act was fun. The film felt fractured and incomplete however.

As for Ep II - it was definitely an improvement, but essentially amounted to two story arcs with limited convergence: Obi Wan trying to find out what was going on with the assasination attempt, and the Anakin/Padme love story. Of those two I thought Obi Wan was by far the more interesting and entertaining character. His arc was, I thought, quite good. In the meantime I felt Anakin was poorly developed as a character. He went from an innocent child to a brattish dark youth with little explanation. The love story was very stilted and lacked anything resembling chemistry (compare to the Luke/Han/Leia interactions of Ep IV - VI). That is to say, half of the film felt like a distraction.

There are plenty of other nit picks I could make: midichlorians, Yoda having to resort to light sabres etc. but those are just that - little nit picks. The overarching point is that the films were poorly paced and disconnected and failed to get me decently involved with the characters whose journey I am supposed to be following. Quite simply, the movies simply weren't terribly involving.

Jedidiah.

Re:spoilers

[Anomylous Howard]

Any true Star Wars fan-boy thinks ESB was the best Star Wars film...
I was in highschool by the time ESB came out. Although I really liked it, I remember that the popular reaction of the time was disapointment. Reviews were so-so. Everyone wanted it to be as fun and as exciting as the first movie. It wasn't. I had many aquaintances who didn't like ESB. <br>When I saw RotJ, I realized that GL had really sold out and made the kiddie movie people had wanted in ESB. <br> GL is very swayed by public opinion. Why else was Jar-Jar so quiet in AotC?

Re:spoilers

[Anonymous Coward]

Personally, I think most of the hate directed at the previous two, Jar-Jar comments aside, was a media invention.

I saw TPM and hated every minute of it. It was slow, static, boring, and insulted the audience's intelligence. At least the first few films weren't slow, static and boring. :)

Re:spoilers

[Anonymous Coward]

murders an entire community of sand people for practically no reason

I thought that got you re-elected?

Re:spoilers

[Dun Malg]

There are plenty of other nit picks I could make: midichlorians

The damn midichlorians ruined the magic that was Star Wars for me forever. I remember being 8-11 years old, playing various Star Wars based cowboys and indians type games with my friends. The cool part was that you could actually almost believe in the Force. All you needed was to believe in it the right way and it would work. It was available to anyone with the proper training. Fast forward to the release of Ep I. The Force comes from midichlorians. FLUSH! there goes that magical bit of childhood imagination. We were just fooling ourselves. The Force isn't something just anyone can develop, it's some sort of bizarre inherited magic bugs in your blood. Jedi are born, not made. Just like royalty, curly hair, or skin color. Sorry, no egalitarian unifying power-- it's only the priveleged chosen ones who get to be the heroes. The rest of us are just plebes. Lucas fucking sucks.

And another thing: why a god damned little kid? It totally buggers the timeline. Amidala is like TEN FRICKIN' YEARS older than Annikin in Ep1, but then (mysteriously) in Ep2 HE ages ten years and EVERYONE ELSE ages perhaps TWO. I don't know if it was Lucas' doing, or if some marketing clown convinced him it'd "broaden audience appeal" or something, but this was a mistake, and a stupid one at that. The things Ep1 had an EIGHT YEAR OLD CHILD doing were totally age-implausible. If they'd made him a rebelious, angry teenager right off the bat then it would have made a whole lot more sense, not only for Ep2 where he got even MORE angry and rebellious, but in Ep1 where they had a LITTLE KID doing stuff so incredibly age-inappropriate that it boggled the mind. Pod racing? Droid building? "Accidentally" flying a fighter craft into combat and destroying an enemy flagship? Oh for god's sake, GIVE ME A BREAK!

Sorry. Sore point with me.

Re:spoilers

[AussieVamp2]

and Gungans

Re:spoilers

[mekkab]

Then call me Chang Hsüeh-liang, fanboy. While you're jerking to pictures of Lando Calrissian and drinking Colt 45 in yr mom's basement, I'm planting Bombs on Ya' Moms!

Works every time!

Re:spoilers

[sielwolf]

Angela Landsbury will eat your HEART!!!

Re:spoilers

[mink]

"Darth Vader was a cool, collected, leader who inspired his followers through fear and didn't fly off the handle at anyone."

Unless you insult Jedi.
He seems pretty touchy on that subject as we see in ANH and in Empire we see his inability to deal with failure in a constructive manner.

Re:spoilers

[mink]

The phantom Edit helps out a bit.

mirror and comment

[winkydink]

The article is loaded with spoilers, but nice to hear that the reviewer is positive about the movie.

The mirror is here.

Spoilers?

[notherenow]

Isn't this the middle of the movie that we've already seen? How can you spoil that?

TFA text (spoilers and all)

[Anonymous Coward]

"SITH" SPOILERS

You've been warned...

- "Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome. This is the "Star Wars" prequel the haters have been bitching for since "Menace" came out, and if they don't cop to that when they finally see it, they're lying. As dark as "Empire" was, this movie goes a thousand times darker - from the triggering of Order 66 (which has all the Shock Troopers turning on the Jedi Knights they've been fighting beside throughout the Clone Wars and gunning them down), to the jaw-dropping Anakin/Obi Wan fight on Mustafar (where - after cutting his legs and arm off, Ben leaves Skywalker burning alive on the shores of a lava river, with Anakin spitting venomous sentiments at his departing mentor), this flick is so satisfyingly tragic, you'll think you're watching "Othello" or "Hamlet".

I saw a gorgeous digitally projected version of the flick, and lemme tell ya': this is a beautiful looking film. The opening space battle sequence is the best in any of the six "Star Wars" movies. Grievous and Kenobi's lightsaber duel is bad-ass, with Grievous rocking four sabers. The Clone Wars end rather early in the flick (about the halfway point), leaving the rest of the film to concentrate on Anakin's turn to the Dark Side, and the resulting slaughter of the Jedi.

Perfect example of how dark shit gets: remember the Younglings - the kid Jedis in training from "Clones"? As a result of Order 66, when Anakin invades the Jedi Temple with an army of Clone Troopers, he enters the Council room to find a gaggle of said younglings hiding behind the seats. They see Anakin and emerge, asking "What should we do, Master Anakin?" The query's met with a stone-cold Anakin firing up his lightsaber. The next time you see the kids, Yoda's sifting through their corpses on the floor.

Yes, it's just that dark - and rightfully so. This is the birth of Darth Vader we're talking about. The only comic moments in the flick are given to R2D2, and while good, they're all pretty few and far between; the order of the day is dark, dark, dark.

Ian McDiarmid and Ewan McGregor steal the show, but Hayden Christensen silences any naysayers who wrote him off as too whiney in "Clones". This is the flick that feels closest to Episodes 4, 5, and 6, because - for the first time since "Return of the Jedi" - there is a clear villain. And for all the shadow-play Palpatine has been upto in the last two flicks, his treachery is about as subtle as John Williams' score in "Sith." Whether he's slowly drawing Anakin toward the Dark Side during an opera/performance art piece with his promise of the Sith's power of life over death, or he's engaged in a balls-to-the-wall lightsaber duel in the Senate with Yoda, his "Little, green friend" (his words, not mine - which I kinda dug, because, interestingly, I think it's the first time anyone's acknowledged that Yoda is green in any of the "Star Wars" flicks), this is the Emperor's movie.

The last fifteen minutes dovetail nicely into Episode 4 (or just plain "Star Wars" for you non-geeks), and the movie is full of link-up moments as well.

- At flick's end, Threepio and Artoo are given to Captain Antilles (with the caveat that the Protocol's memory be wiped).

- The twins, natch, are split up. Leia heads to Alderann with Bail Organa, and Obi Wan hands Luke over to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru (indeed, the closing shot is Owen holding Luke while looking out over the setting suns of Tatooine - mimicking the shot of the adult Luke doing the same in "Star Wars", complete with callback cue from Williams).

- After he succumbs to the Dark Side, Anakin tries to convine Padme that he can overthrow Palpatine, and together, he and Padme can rule the galaxy as husband and wife.

- Vader and the Emperor stand beside a younger Grand Moff Tarkin on the bridge of a Star Destroyer, overlooking the earliest construction stage of the Death Star.

- Yoda telling Obi Wan that, as he heads to Tatooine to hand over Luke an

Re:TFA text (spoilers and all)

[Khomar]

Well, I was already debating skipping out on this film, and now I have absolutely no reason to see it. This isn't a review. This isn't a review with "a few spoilers". This is a book report that summarizes how the story ends. Quite honestly, I think this is the worst "review" I have ever laid eyes on. It completely gives away all of the powerful scenes in the movie without really talking about the quality of the movie. Kevin Smith certainly should stick to his day job (even that is debatable) and leave the commentary to the professionals.

Re:TFA text (spoilers and all)

[Tumbleweed]

Well, I was already debating skipping out on this film, and now I have absolutely no reason to see it.

Yeah, but you'll see it anyway, won't you? :)

I'm all in just for the visuals. Even if it's nothing but pretty pictures, I'll be fine. If I get better than that, hey, bonus! Go in with low expectations, and all should be well in the end.

Re:TFA text (spoilers and all)

[Anonymous Coward]

ooh look at me, i'm a self-righteous purist. I get my kicks by insulting those who write interesting stuff.

Re:TFA text (spoilers and all)

[Khomar]

Yeah, but you'll see it anyway, won't you? :)

Quite honestly, I don't know. I am married with a young son and another little one on the way. We are lucky if we make it to four movies a year. Given our limited opportunities, I like to maximize the experience. Given that all of my questions have been answered, it will probably come down to whether my wife wants to see it or not. Probably not -- at least until it comes out on video.

Re:TFA text (spoilers and all)

[Anonymous Coward]

dude... don't take your kids to see this movie. unless they're 17 or something. and even then only if they're very well adjusted individuals.

i'm pretty sure seeing a guy slaughter a room full of kids and then looking at the bodies after will fuck someone up if they're young enough.

Re:TFA text (spoilers and all)

[Khomar]

For those who moderated me a troll, look again at this "review". Over half of it are blatant spoilers that expose exactly what happens in the film. While there are a couple comments regarding some of the production elements, they are far overshadowed by plot points. This is a sloppy, inconsiderate review. I am not being a "purist" on this critique. Episode 3 could very well be the best of the three prequels, and the special effects may just sway me to plunk down eight bucks for it. However, this review stinks. Talk about the high quality production, the beautiful score, the well scripted/acted/choreographed scenes (I hope!), the mood and feel. Don't give away the entire movie! Am I truly that far off on this?

Re:TFA text (spoilers and all)

[Tumbleweed]

Ah, little ones - go see Robots, the IMAX version if you can. _Way_ underrated movie. I'd recommend seeing it even without the little ones; it's a lot of fun. That one may be great on DVD; I'm anxious to see any extras it may have, plus so much stuff goes by so fast that I want to do some frame-by-frame viewing in many spots to see what little bits were too fast for the eye to see.

For non-kiddie fare, I highly recommend Sin City, while it's still available on the big screen.

re: SW:Ep3

It's a visual feast, no matter how good or bad the story or acting wind up being. That is the kind of movie you _really_ want to see on the big screen. I think you'd kick yourself later on if you see the DVD and really liked it, for not having seen it on the big screen when it was out. Just bite the bullet, man. If you wind up regretting it, at least you'll probably have company. Guaranteed, no matter how great it may wind up being, lots of Slashbots will wind up hating it. I can't hate Ep 1 _too_ much, as it had that amazing lightsabre battle with Darth Maul at the end. That alone was worth the price of admission for me.

Re:TFA text (spoilers and all)

[skipsandwichdx]

Neither in the article nor in the page does it say review- it's merely his take on the movie, describing the parts he liked, etc. Also, the article notes "serious spoilers," not "a few spoilers," as you say, which I believe there is also difference between. Worst "review" of "review" I have ever laid eyes on.

Re:TFA text (spoilers and all)

[FunWithHeadlines]

I think you are that far off, personally. It's not as if any one of us didn't know this stuff was coming in one form or another. OK, so you find out you get from point A to point B with the line "XYZ" instead of "ABC," but it's not as if any of what he said is earthshakingly new. Of course the link-ups to Star Wars would be there. Of course these plot developments would happen. What did you think this movie would have in it?

Re:TFA text (spoilers and all)

[Khomar]

dude... don't take your kids to see this movie.

Oh absolutely! I don't take my son to see anything at this point. I would even think strongly about taking him to a Pixar film. I am talking about my wife and I going out on a "date". When you have a family, such events become increasingly more rare and therefore more precious. I want to make sure that when I take the time and effort to see a film that it is worthy of all of that time and effort. Will Star Wars fit that bill? I am still holding out a bit. Personally, I am more excited about Serenity at this point. If it is anything like the series, the writing will be excellent.

Re:TFA text (spoilers and all)

[Khomar]

What did you think this movie would have in it?

I understand that a lot of the plot points were pretty much known (or strongly suspected), but did he have to painstakingly list all of the link-ups. He might as well have quoted the movie for us verbatim. There is virtually nothing new to see other than the visuals. I would much rather have ready a review that focused on the quality of the film rather than its spelled out contents. It lessens the emotional impact of the final film.

Re:TFA text (spoilers and all)

[Spy der Mann]

Maybe it was the worst, but having read the spoilers, now I *WANT* to watch the movie. And no, I hadn't seen Eps I and II (except clips on TV, etc).

Re:TFA text (spoilers and all)

[Anonymous Coward]

dumbass.

dumbass.

dumbass.

dumbass.

dumbass.

what on earth do you think spoilers mean?!? it doesn't mean only a little bit of spoiling, it means that if you continue reading it's going to give away parts of the movie.

it's a warning and you're an idiot if you kept reading and then acted surprised at what was given away.

it'd have been one thing if there was no warning, but you were warned. it's like seeing a sign that says "caution: hot do not touch" and then you go and touch it and get pissed because it was hotter than you thought.

*sigh*

Stupid firewall at work has it blockled off

[Anonymous Coward]

Bleh can anyone cut and paste it here?

Part of the article

[Ezel]

Since the real article is slashdotted I went out looking on google for a mirror.

Well, this is what I found.
It's just the beginning of the full article but atleast it confirms wether Kevin likes or dislikes the movie.

http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=20046

Hopefully someone will have a real mirror up soon.

Mvh: Ezel ... Malmoe, Sweden

Re:Part of the article

[buraianto]

http://mirrordot.org/ handled this one just fine, as it has with all other slashdot stories I've ever bothered checking.

Summary without Spoiler

[Jaguar777]

This is for those of you that want to know what Kevin said, but don't want to read the spoilers. Here is a brief and concise quote from the beginning.

"Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome. This is the "Star Wars" prequel the haters have been bitching for since "Menace" came out, and if they don't cop to that when they finally see it, they're lying. As dark as "Empire" was, this movie goes a thousand times darker...

For those who don't want spoilers...

[Paradox]

Kevin Smith liked it. He said he really liked it.

Not only is the production quality really high, but apparently they also go retro in a few scenes so as to provide a tie in to Episode 4.

Evidently the action and dialog run much less awkwardly than in previous movies, and the plot is extremely dark. There is less comedy and more drama. They deal with some pretty heavy subject matter.

But let me reiterate. Kevin Smith is raving and drooling about this movie. My hopes have been suitably elevated. Now, I'm off to preorder a ticket.

Re:For those who don't want spoilers...

[geekoid]

I hope your trying to be funny.

Re:For those who don't want spoilers...

[Anonymous Coward]

So let me get this straight? The movie is fscking awesome because it's been run through some filters to make it dark, the main character can now scowl instead of looking all doe-eyed and clueless, and there are tie-ins with the first movie? Yeah, thanks, it's cut from the same mold as the other two. I'll wait for the video release.

Re:For those who don't want spoilers...

[Anonymous Coward]

Now, I'm off to preorder a ticket.

That's fine and all, but realize your reaction was precisely the reason Smith was allowed to view and review it ahead of time. You wouldn't have seen this review if it were negative.

Re:For those who don't want spoilers...

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes, the same Kevin Smith who thought "The Phantom Menace", unquestionably the worst of the series, "starts great, ends great, and has great stuff sprinkled in between."
--"I'd rank it right after 'Empire' in a list of fave 'Star Wars' flicks."
--"Is there too much Jar Jar? For a small stretch, yes;"
--"Is the kid bad? I thought he was okay. He certainly wasn't wooden..."
--"I'd like to go on record as saying I dug it. It's a good movie with great moments."

So, yeah, Kevin Smith dug it. Whoop-dee-freaking-doo.

Re:For those who don't want spoilers...

[Anonymous Coward]

Kevin Smith is raving and drooling about this movie. My hopes have been suitably elevated.

Because one third-rate auteur endorses another? You're an easy man to please.

Don't cream your jeans, but I heard a rumor that Pauly Shore really liked latest Wayans Brothers film.

Spoiler Free Version . . .

[Goobermunch]

"SITH" SPOILERS
You've been warned...
- "Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome. This is the "Star Wars" prequel the haters have been bitching for since "Menace" came out, and if they don't cop to that when they finally see it, they're lying. As dark as "Empire" was, this movie goes a thousand times darker (spoilers removed), this flick is so satisfyingly tragic, you'll think you're watching "Othello" or "Hamlet".

I saw a gorgeous digitally projected version of the flick, and lemme tell ya': this is a beautiful looking film. The opening space battle sequence is the best in any of the six "Star Wars" movies. (General Spoilers Removed)

Perfect example of how dark shit gets: (very cool, very dark spoiler removed).

Yes, it's just that dark - and rightfully so. This is the birth of Darth Vader we're talking about. The only comic moments in the flick are given to R2D2, and while good, they're all pretty few and far between; the order of the day is dark, dark, dark.

Ian McDiarmid and Ewan McGregor steal the show, but Hayden Christensen silences any naysayers who wrote him off as too whiney in "Clones". This is the flick that feels closest to Episodes 4, 5, and 6, because - for the first time since "Return of the Jedi" - there is a clear villain. And for all the shadow-play Palpatine has been upto in the last two flicks, his treachery is about as subtle as John Williams' score in "Sith." (Spoilers Removed)

The last fifteen minutes dovetail nicely into Episode 4 (or just plain "Star Wars" for you non-geeks), and the movie is full of link-up moments as well.

(Spoilers Removed)

Look, this is a movie I was genetically predisposed to love. (spoiler removed). Now, twenty six years later, I finally got to see that long-promised battle - and it lived up to any expectation I still held. I was sad to see the flick end, but happy to know it's not the end of the "Star Wars" universe entirely (I've read stuff about a TV show...).

"Sith" doesn't happen; "Sith" rules.

Re:Spoiler Free Version . . .

[MattJ]

And for all the shadow-play Palpatine has been upto in the last two flicks, his treachery is about as subtle as ...

Palpatine is treacherous? You said there would be no spoilers!!

Re:Spoiler Free Version . . .

[boycottthecaf]

A summary of what Kevin Smith had to say

"Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome. This is the "Star Wars" prequel the haters have been bitching for since "Menace" came out, and if they don't cop to that when they finally see it, they're lying. As dark as "Empire" was, this movie goes a thousand times darker. It's the best work of art ever put out by mortal men, and you'll be blown away by every single second of this masterpiece. From the excellent dialogue between Anakin Amadala to Hayden Christensen's superb acting to Jar Jar's antics which always entertain, you'll swear you saw heaven open up when you see this movie. It's 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times better than "Empire" ever was I swear and really reminded me of what genius Lucas has when he put together episodes 1 and 2. After watching this glory of cinema that will never be matched by humanity in a million years, I turned to George Lucas, dropped to my knees, undid his pants, wrapped my mouth around his throbbing unit, and sucked and licked it like I was in the blow job Olympics and going for the gold. In the thirty five minutes it took me to get him hard, I was in almost as much ecstasy as when I last saw "Attack of the Clones." And when he finally shot his sticky load into the back of my throat, I tell you I have never tasted anything so sweet.

Are they really spoilers?

[jfengel]

Can you really spoil a movie when you can buy the book at Amazon?

Yeah, I suppose that there will be many who want to go see the movie truly not knowing what happens until they see the "one true" version of it. To my tastes you really can't spoil a movie by telling me what happens; as Roger Ebert says a movie is never about what it's about but how it is about it.

Re:Are they really spoilers?

[Sark666]

I dunno...

I really glad awhile back when my buddy was raving about this movie called the matrix, and he said 'You know what the matrix is, it's...'

And I promptly cut him off, and I'm so glad I did, as I walked into that movie knowing nothing and well you know what a treat that was.

Re:Are they really spoilers?

[jfengel]

It's just me; I even found Memento and Crying Game more rewarding for already knowing the secret. I get to admire the technique with which they tell the story. I suppose that pleasure should be reserved for the second viewing.

Mostly, though, I'm just a bit boggled at the most-spoiled event of the century. I mean, you've already seen the sequel.

Spoiling the ending because somebody got to see a rough cut is one thing, but Smith isn't saying anything Lucas hasn't already made available by himself.

Re:Are they really spoilers?

[victor_the_cleaner]

I hadn't seen Titanic and my buddy ruined it for me. Who knew that ship could sink?

Re:Are they really spoilers?

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, I suppose that there will be many who want to go see the movie truly not knowing what happens until they see the "one true" version of it.
Considering that this is Star Wars, you may be in for a long wait if you want to see the "one true" version. It probably won't exist until the death of George Lucas.

Re:Are they really spoilers?

[angle_slam]

Can you really spoil a movie when you can buy the book at Amazon?

Of course you can. Just because a book is available doesn't mean that everyone has read it. For example, The Godfather was a book before it was a movie. Does that mean that people are free to talk about everything that happens in the book before the movie is released? For that matter, even if something has been released, it is still a spoiler if you haven't seen it. If you've never watched the TV show 24, me telling you what happens to a certain character in the show is spoiling it for you.

Re:Are they really spoilers?

[jfengel]

Yeah, I know, it was badly phrased. I hit the submit button before I finished. Mostly, I was just boggling that this was the most-spoiled movie ever.

Re:article text

[uujjj]

Mod parent down! Way down! Fast!

hard to summerize

[eshefer]

most of the article is spoilers.

basicly: it's very dark. not much fluff - a lot of evil - kevin loved it.

Doesn't Smith have better things to do...

[Anita Coney]

Like finish the Green Hornet or apologize for Jersey Girl?!

Re:Doesn't Smith have better things to do...

[Reignking]

Actually, I think he did apologize for Jersey Girl...

Re:Doesn't Smith have better things to do...

[Anita Coney]

Great, then 100% of his time should be spent on the Green Hornet.

Re:Doesn't Smith have better things to do...

[kin_korn_karn]

He apologized for Mallrats, way before Chasing Amy even came out.

Who is Kevin Smith

[Anonymous Coward]

Is he someone who'se opinion we trust.

In particular, I'm curious what his opinions were about the JarJar episodes.

Re:Who is Kevin Smith

[Perl-Pusher]

They guy who played Silent Bob

Re:Who is Kevin Smith

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm curious what his opinions were about the JarJar episodes.

They guy who played Silent Bob

Really? Kevin Smith played both Silent Bob *and* Jar-Jar? I had no idea!

Re:Who is Kevin Smith

[gstoddart]

Is he someone who'se opinion we trust.

Whose opinions you trust is up to you. I trust him to have an opinion and be intelligent about it.

here you can decide if you would trust his opinions or not from seeing what his other works are.

Cheers

Re:Who is Kevin Smith

[Golias]

Is he someone who'se opinion we trust.

Well, he did make Mallrats.

He also made Ben Affleck a star.

And he's a fan of The Time. The Time, for fuck's sake.

So while Clerks was great and all, this would not be the first time he's exhibited really bad taste.

Kevin Smith.

[zymano]

Why does he get so much airtime on the Tonight show ?

I don't care who is by the way.

Re:Kevin Smith.

[Anonymous Coward]

I promise... he doesnt care who you are either.

Bah, Kevin Smith

[realmolo]

I like the guy, but everyone knows he's a raving Star Wars fan-boy.

Plus, Episode I and II were so bad, if this is even halfway-decent, it's going to seem like a fucking masterpiece.

I'm still expecting it to suck. I don't see how it can't.

Re:Bah, Kevin Smith

[vortigern00]

Seriously. Star Wars and empire were so great... so much a part of my youth, that I overlooked the poor showing on return of the jedi and anxiously anticipated the premiere of Episode 1 for YEARS. I vowed not to see another movie in a theater until it came out. Finally, on the day that it did come out it was like getting kicked in the balls. I felt so betrayed... so... insulted. I was very angry. Within an hour, my lifelong love of the Star Wars saga was GONE. I had no further desire to see any more of lucas' crap. I have not seen the second movie. Heck I'm not sure what the name of it is, though I guess it's probably about the clone wars. Frankly I'm not sure why I'm reading this thread. No one is going to trick me into going to the theater to watch this crap. Rant over, sorry.

Re:Bah, Kevin Smith

[TyrionEagle]

I like the guy, but everyone knows he's a raving Star Wars fan-boy.

A raving Star Wars fan-boy who used the line "the worst idea since Greedo shooting first" in one of his movies?

He may just have said if it sucked!

Re:Bah, Kevin Smith

[The Good Reverend]

but everyone knows he's a raving Star Wars fan-boy.

While I accept he might have other motives in writing the review as he did, you have to remember that the biggest haters of Episodes 1 & 2 have all been "raving Star Wars fan-boys"

Re:Bah, Kevin Smith

[Anonymous Coward]

I find your lack of faith disturbing...

Anonymous Coward! Release Him!

As you wish...

Re:Bah, Kevin Smith

[CaptainAvatar]

Obligatory Spaced quote:

[to a Star Wars: The Phantom Menace fan]

Tim Bisley: You are so blind! You so do not understand! You weren't there at the beginning. You don't know how good it was! How important! This is it for you! This jumped-up firework display of a toy advert! People like you make me sick! What's wrong with you? Now, I don't care if you've saved up all your fifty 'p's, take your pocket money and get out!

[the little boy runs off, crying]

Tim Bisley: What a prick.

Would he have said it sucked?

[astrashe]

Do we trust him? Would he have really said that it sucked?

I'm not going to this one. Lucas keeps putting crappy movies out there, and I keep going. If I go to this one, it's over, and Lucas wins every time. This is my last chance not to fall for the same old con.

Re:Would he have said it sucked?

[drinkypoo]

Yes, I think he would have said it sucked. he's a long-term star wars fan who has been willing to say in public that he wasn't happy with the other movies.

Re:Would he have said it sucked?

[jazman_777]

I'm not going to this one. Lucas keeps putting crappy movies out there, and I keep going. If I go to this one, it's over, and Lucas wins every time. This is my last chance not to fall for the same old con.

I remain skeptical. I was around when Star Wars first came out, a long time ago. The critics ripped it up one side down the other, on plot; they _did_ love the effects. Given Episodes IV, VI, I and II, does anyone really think Lucas has profoundly changed?

Smith sounds like he's channeling George Peppard: "I love it when a plan comes together!" He's thrilled about the tie-ins to Episode IV ("ooh, that's so cool how they used the same corridor!") and the darkness. Darkness as a good thing is the sign of someone who was _seriously_ damaged by Jar-Jar.

Re:Would he have said it sucked?

[MixmastaKooz]

Clearly, he wouldn't have panned it: no one who has so much tied into Hollywood's production side would have openly panned it before it came out. BUT, what matters is how effusive he is when writing about it: and Kevin doesn't hold back. I would be MORE concerned if a) Kevin wrote nothing about ROTS after the screening or b) gave it a positive, but not glowing review where we would have been emphasizing what he didn't say about the film. Either scenario would have been more telling!

The Baby might have to wait!

[tjstork]

My wife is due on the same day ROTS is released. Should I be in the delivery room, or should I partake of Star Wars? Boy I just don't know! :-)

Re:The Baby might have to wait!

[PortHaven]

Tell her to give birth in the theatre and then she'll give birth to a jedi....

(mind you, the green skin coloring, pointy ears and dimunitive side will be rather permanent unlike most infants he shall not grow much taller)

Re:The Baby might have to wait!

[Anonymous Coward]

"My wife is due on the same day ROTS is released."

Damn, for a split second I thought you meant she was still on order...

Re:The Baby might have to wait!

[hoggoth]

> My wife is due
Your wife is due? Is the a pre-arranged marriage or something? Arranged WAY in advance!

Oh, you mean your baby is due...
never mind...

Re:The Baby might have to wait!

[Frumious Wombat]

As much as I favor family unity, supporting one' other half, etc., I would have to say where childbirth comes in, I'd suggest the movie. I'd further suggest it in another city. Not all of the old ways, (father pacing outside, mother and doctors inside somewhere), were all that bad.

Plus, as Rita Rudner once put it, "If my husband think's he's going to 'share the experience', I expect him to be tied to the table next to me, getting his legs waxed."

Re:The Baby might have to wait!

[rdurell]

You are going to make a great father. Maybe you'll luck out and your kid won't turn out to be "college material" so you won't have to pay for it.

Re:The Baby might have to wait!

[sdsichero]

Will you name the baby Luke or Leia?

Re:The Baby might have to wait!

[Anonymous Coward]

"I find your lack of faith disturbing."
(just kidding, congrats!)

Re:The Baby might have to wait!

[tigersha]

Her screaming will not be heard above the screaming of the disappointed fans in any case...

Re:The Baby might have to wait!

[tjstork]

I'm already planning on building a Fusor with him when he gets older. So, if he ain't college material, he'd still make a pretty good terrorist.

Re:The Baby might have to wait!

[Anonymous Coward]

Good luck and congratulations! :) We're expecting a little girl around the same time. She's due a little before but I know my luck so I'm taking my phone into the theatre.
And believe it or not, we were actually considering calling her Leia before we realised the timing of the movie. It's just a nice name. At least that's what I'm telling the wife. ;-)

I AM INVINCIBLE!

[Zakabog]

after cutting his legs and arm off, Ben leaves Skywalker burning alive on the shores of a lava river, with Anakin spitting venomous sentiments at his departing mentor

Anakin: None shall pass.
Obi Wan: What?
Anakin: None shall pass.
Obi Wan: I have no quarrel with you, young padiwan, but I must cross this bridge.
Anakin: Then you shall die.
Obi Wan: I command you as your teacher to stand aside!
Anakin: I move for no man.
Obi Wan: So be it!

Obi Wan cuts off Anakin's left arm.

Obi Wan: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
Anakin: 'Tis but a scratch.
Obi Wan: A scratch? Your arm's off!
Anakin: No, it isn't.
Obi Wan: Well, what's that then?
Anakin: I've had worse.
Obi Wan: You liar!
Anakin: Come on you pansy!

Obi Wan cuts off Anakin's right arm.

Obi Wan: Victory is mine! We thank thee Force, that in thy mercy...
Anakin: Come on then.
Obi Wan: What?
Anakin: Have at you!
Obi Wan: You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.
Anakin: Oh, had enough, eh?
Obi Wan: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
Anakin: Yes I have.
Obi Wan: Look!
Anakin: Just a flesh wound.
Obi Wan: Look, stop that.
Anakin: Chicken! Chicken!
Obi Wan: Look, I'll have your leg. Right!

Obi Wan cuts off Anakin's leg.

Anakin: Right, I'll do you for that!
Obi Wan: You'll what?
Anakin: Come 'ere!
Obi Wan: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
Anakin: I'm invincible!
Obi Wan: You're a loony.
Anakin: The Dark Side always triumphs! Have at you! Come on then.

Obi Wan cuts off Anakin's other leg.

Anakin: All right; we'll call it a draw.
Obi Wan: Come, Patsy.
Anakin: Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow bastard! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!

Re:I AM INVINCIBLE!

[anactofgod]

And here I sith, without mod points to givth.

Nicely done, my friend.

Re:I AM INVINCIBLE!

[kniLnamiJ-neB]

I haven't laughed that hard in a LONG time...

Sounds like Quake 1...

[Richard Steiner]

Oh wait! That was brown, brown, brown...

server ends on a positive note

[swatthatfly]

I liked the end of his commentary: >, followed by > . Yeah, /. happens too.

[SPAM] Tickets available for sneak preview

[Anonymous Coward]

Tickets are still available for the sneak preview/premier in Seattle. You can see the film with George Lucas, along with cast and crew a week before its release.

Spoilers?! Who gives a shit? We all know the story

[wernst]

Having read Smith's excellent collection of thoughts, I have to wonder what the deal is with worrying about "Spoiling" various plot elements.

We all know the following if we've seen Star Wars, Empire, and Jedi:

1. Anakin becomes Darth Vader and survives the movie.
2. Ben Kenobi survives the movie.
3. Anakin fathers twins who become Luke and Lea, who survive the movie.
4. The Emporer and Darth Vader exterminate almost all the Jedi save those who go into hiding on desert or jungle planets. The emporer survives the movie too.
5. Those clone warriors in the white armor will probably morph into what other white armor wearing group of warriors? Hmmm. I wonder.
6. And on and on..

All I'm saying here is that people are so used to worrying about spoilers in movies that they never stop and THINK about situations where it isn't called for...

Reading the book...

[WIAKywbfatw]

The other day I saw someone reading the book of Revenge Of The Sith. If you're that much a fan of the Star Wars universe that you'll buy a hardback copy of a movie story why would you spoil the movie for yourself by reading about every single thing that happens in it?

I mean, if it was originally a book and then a movie then, of course, read the book first then go see the movie (although in the case of The Bourne Identity and The Bourne Supremacy, not having read the books before hand makes your enjoyment of the movies that much better - read the books first and the movies will only frustrate you) but when it's a movie first then a book go see the movie first. Enjoy the story in its original media first, then (try to) enjoy the adaptations that follow.

Re:Reading the book...

[fireduck]

a friend of mine did this as well. His reasoning was that he wanted to experience a (hopefully) decent version of the story prior to the movie, so that he could go into the movie with a sense of whether it was a crap story or just that Lucas was a crap director with some crappy actors. I think its a case of Lucas just setting the bar so low on the first two prequels, that some fans want to raise it up, and if they find it in a novelization, so be it...

Re:Reading the book...

[Harlockjds]

Too bad the book sucks donkeys and makes me fear the movie. Lots of scenes in the middle make me think "it would take a good actor to deliver the lines and a good director to salvage anything from this"... We all know we aren't getting either.

BTW I got the book on a business trip; it passed the time and didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. Plus the book skips a lot of the movie (while delving into 20 pages monologs about each jedi's fricking light saber style)

Re:Reading the book...

[AussieVamp2]

errr... isn't there a fair chance you pretty much know what is going to happen anyway, if a big fan? book, movie, audio, viewmaster, nothing going to make any difference to that.....

Before we take his comments too seriously...

[dhris]

Have a look at what he said about Phantom Menace:
http://viewaskew.com/press/menace.html

A choice quote:
"I'd rank it right after 'Empire' in a list of fave 'Star Wars' flicks".

I wouldn't.

Re:Before we take his comments too seriously...

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, but he didn't do much gushing he also said

" I think the key is to go in with low expectations. I did, and I really dug it."

Re:Before we take his comments too seriously...

[AussieVamp2]

yeah, it is a slight chance to perhaps make it before 'Battle Beyond the Stars' but probably not

hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[gevmage]

Personally, I think most of the hate directed at the previous two, Jar-Jar comments aside, was a media invention. Things get repeated enough and people start to believe it.

True in general, but in this case, it's because those films kind of stank.

I'll list a few specifics

• The podrace sequence that took up the middle half of the first movie. That should have been about 15 minutes.
• Amidahla, who in Ep 1 was "queen", talking in Ep 2 about how wonderful democracy is
• The "evil trade empire" made up of aliens with pronounced asian accents
• The Jedi, who are supposed to be very very smart, attacking into what is completely obviously a trap
• The dialog between Annakin and Amidalhla that left me wanting to puke.

I'm sorry, the Geoge Lucas of the 70's knew about pacing. Episodes IV, V, and VI were very fast and snappy. Episodes I and II just dragged terribly. I'm hoping that III picks up the pace a bit.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[illtron]

I'll take bad acting and dialog as a valid criticism, but most of the other stuff you just listed are personal gripes.

And for what it's worth, the Trade Federation accent is a mix of Japanese and French, but I don't see why that's so awful. Would a subtitled alien language that everybody magically understands have been better? What if they spoke the alien language with an accent?

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[lgw]

The funny thing is, movies I and II were paced properly for movies with real and engaging drama and good dialog. It's not so much that Lucas got the pacing wrong, as that he couldn't tell his writing was crap. The same number of minutes in the same scenes could have worked quite well with better writing (other than the extended podrace, but since that turned out to be the best part of the movie in many people's opinions, that's forgivable).

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[dr_dank]

The Jedi, who are supposed to be very very smart, attacking into what is completely obviously a trap

Remember, that was before the introduction of Admiral Akbar.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[gmuslera]

Amidahla, who in Ep 1 was "queen", talking in Ep 2 about how wonderful democracy is

Ask about this to the kings and queens of most european countries (i.e. Spain or UK) that have democratic governments.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[digidave]

# Amidahla, who in Ep 1 was "queen", talking in Ep 2 about how wonderful democracy is

She was an elected Queen, just as the Ep 2 Queen was elected. Just because she's not called President or something similar doesn't mean it's not democracy.

# The "evil trade empire" made up of aliens with pronounced asian accents

So, pronounced American accents would have been so much more realistic, because that's how aliens speak?

# The Jedi, who are supposed to be very very smart, attacking into what is completely obviously a trap

The dark side clouds their vision, as is oft repeated. That's how Palpatine and Dooku keep their plans hidden. Besides, the Jedi still had to save Padme, Obi-Wan and Anakin somehow and they knew the clones were on their way.

# The dialog between Annakin and Amidalhla that left me wanting to puke.

Fair enough, but they have to fall in love somehow and without turning the whole movie into a romance it had to be rushed. It's unfortunate that their love is so pivotal to the story, yet not interesting enough to be its own movie so it can be properly told.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[kensai]

FRAWRESS VICTOLY!

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Andrew Aguecheek]

"Amidahla" is an elected queen who reigns for a maximum term - quite democratic really.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[TheCabal]

I'm sorry, the Geoge Lucas of the 70's knew about pacing. Episodes IV, V, and VI were very fast and snappy.

But Lucas only directed Episode IV. V and VI were only produced by him.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[zomper514]

You forgot when Obi Wan refers tries to use north as a direction in space.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[IWannaBeAnAC]

Her title was 'queen', but she clearly stated in Ep1 that she was elected to that position. There is no reason why a queen could not be elected, although I don't know of any cases in history where one was.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Tibor the Hun]

HAHAHA!
kingdom for mod points!

Thank you.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Anonymous Coward]

We all know that the evil trade empire have a American accent

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[PriceIke]

Or when Han uses "parsecs" as a unit of time measurement.

Or were we limiting our criticism to just Eps I and II? Sorry.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Anonymous Coward]

Er... middle 'half'?

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[WatertonMan]

OK then the problem is the idiots on the planet who voted for an 18 year old girl to be their equivalent of President. No wonder they were easily taken over by a bunch of crappy droids. It's hard to feel too sorry for them.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[geekwithsoul]

the Geoge Lucas of the 70's knew about pacing

I've often thought the same thing. In fact in many of the "Making of Star Wars" documentaries it was pointed out how unusual it was for so much attention to detail be paid to models and special effects and then have them fly across the screen in an eye-blink. He wanted it to look cool, but not get wrapped up in pointing out how cool it looked. This definitely changed with the prequels.

Also, I think it was a function of money and timing. There was never enough of either (until ROTJ) to really give Lucas full reign on "implementing his vision" and for the most part that actually worked in favor of the films being tight, fast-paced and exciting. Just look at what he's done with the re-releases and you'll see why sometimes being creative under tremendous pressure gets better results.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[FidelCatsro]

I never had any problems with the action scenes in eppisoded 1 and 2 .. it was poor script and second rate acting by some of the cast that iratated me so much..
That said , some of the action scenes were really rather cool .I enjoyed seeing Slave one getting to do some shooting although i could of done without the cheesy "This is why i hate flying" (cant remember it exactly) line by obi-wan.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[CoffeeJedi]

so what? if you have a galaxy-spanning spacefaring civilization, you're going to need a way to describe the spatial relationships of star systems, why not N, S, E, W?
if you still think this is a bad idea, read what Phil Plait has to say:
Bad Astronomy

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Anonymous Coward]

To hell with that, what about the biggest fucking "drive a semi through it" plot hole of all?

Annakin saves the queen's ass twice (first with the pod racer, then by blowing up the droid control ship). She's a god-damned queen and she never sends anyone back to Tatooine to buy Annakin's mother out of slavery? And Annakin still loves her. WTF?!

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[belar77]

There is the one case of General Benardotte that got asked by the swedish peoples to lead them in the Napoleonic era and became King Charles XIV.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Anonymous Coward]

Or when Han uses "parsecs" as a unit of time measurement.

He didn't. He got the shortest run by cutting very close to a star (thus requiring a fast ship).

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[saigon_from_europe]

There is no reason why a queen could not be elected, although I don't know of any cases in history where one was.

Emperor of Holy Roman Empire was to be elected, although it was for life, not for predefined peroiod of time.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Quiet_Desperation]

Amidahla, who in Ep 1 was "queen", talking in Ep 2 about how wonderful democracy is.

OK, all together now: "...a galaxy far, far away."

Naboo != Earth, so they can elect queens if they want to. It's easy to imagine an ancient royal line that bloodlessly gave way to free elections, but they kept the traditional names.

It's kind of like nitpickers of the new Battlestar Galacitca complaining that the crew doesn't follow U.S military traditions. Huh?!

Agree on everything else, though.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[gekkotron]

the Geoge Lucas of the 70's knew about pacing

Bullshit.

Lucas has had one or two fluke successes as a director. Other than that, he does not know how to direct. Pacing doesn't have much to do with writing, which GL did for all the SW flicks, more so with directing and editing.

Bonus Question: What films did GL direct between Episode 4 and Episode 1?
Answer: Not a goddamned one.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[filtur]

Kudos to you!
That's about the funniest thing I've every read.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[nsillik]

... So let me get this straight. You're telling me you wouldn't vote for Natalie Portman if she were running for president?

I though so....

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[joeslugg]

Amidahla, who in Ep 1 was "queen", talking in Ep 2 about how wonderful democracy is

I just watched Ep. 1 and 2 this past weekend (as a refresher). Yes, in Ep. 1
she was "queen" but in Ep. 2 she commented about the new queen that had been
ELECTED and that she is now a senator. So I think the confusion is Lucas'
choice to use a monarchy term (queen) to indicate the highest office of the
democracy on Naboo.

(My god, I've never debated anything so geeky in my life.)

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Coryoth]

Fair enough, but they have to fall in love somehow and without turning the whole movie into a romance it had to be rushed. It's unfortunate that their love is so pivotal to the story, yet not interesting enough to be its own movie so it can be properly told.

They had the better part of an hour to tell the love story (half of the film was devoted to that story arc) that's not a small amount of time. The real question is why was it not interesting enough to be the better part of the film? Surely if they bothered to write an interesting love story instead of ther hackneyed and forced one that they did, they could have devoted more time to it without issue.

What you're really saying is: it is a shame that the love story was so badly concieved and written that even the limited time they spent on it seemed like a waste.

Jedidiah.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[SpryGuy]

Would a subtitled alien language that everybody magically understands have been better?

Yes. Emphatically yes.

The main thing I hated about the first episode (and the second) is that it's just so rife with unnecessary anachronisms from OUR world... ones completely lacking from the first trilogy. Phantom was filled with bad Jackie Chan b-movie accents, racist overtones and accents both middle-eastern and carribean, a stupid two-headed pod-race announcer that practically screamed "SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!", and worse.

The original trilogy did nothing of the kind. Alien races were truly alien, speaking alien tongues and having *created* cultures... not lame parodies of racist stereotypes as in the first two episodes.

Phantom Menace would have been vastly improved by putting as much time and effort in creating the new aliens and their languages and cultures, as they put into Padme's gowns.

Additionally it would have been nice to see any sign that Darth Maul was really evil. Oh sure, he LOOKED evil enough, but other than fighting when Obi Wan and Qui Gon attacked him, he really didn't do much that showed us who he was... unlike how the character of Darth Vader was built in the first movie.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[solios]

I agree with everything but the Jedi bit. Mostly because I work in a faccility that sees a throughput of anywhere from a few hundred to a few thousand patrons on a daily basis.

The simple fact is that no matter how smart they are individually, people en masse make a herd of cows look like MENSA material. Take the lowest IQ (since s/he's the one that's going to REQUIRE babysitting and handholding) and divide by the total number of the mob and you've got its sum intelligents.

A herd of cows is smart enough to use the exits, rather than stand around slack-jawed, blocking them. :P

The fact that the scene was a large-scale, fairly boring lightsabers vs. stormtroopers battle was quite the letdown. Makes the Jedi look like little more than a mob of cosplayers swamping a Wolfenstein : Enemy Territory server.

With tactical behaviour like that, they deserved what they got. You'd think these guys would be hauling bigger weapons, have artillery support in reserve and actually know how to work as a team in a large-scale engagement.

Or, since it's a Lucas movie, find the enemy's single itty bitty eak point and jam the spaceship equivalent of a Yugo into it. Problem solved.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Anonymous Coward]

Not to mention that in Episode II, it is mentioned that she was *elected*.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[eeyoredragon]

"Fair enough, but they have to fall in love somehow and without turning the whole movie into a romance it had to be rushed. It's unfortunate that their love is so pivotal to the story, yet not interesting enough to be its own movie so it can be properly told." I agree; it is sad. I get tired of people saying they don't want Star Wars being a romance flick. Well, that's the whole reason Anakin goes down the dark side. (Well, that and his penchant for egotism.) It IS a romance flick... just one that ends badly for the main character. The fact that he rushed it made it worse than it could have been. You can't appease the people that just want to see pretty lights and hear cliche' testosterone laden Han Solo quips, so don't bother. However, if you're going to add some attempt at a serious motivation behind Anakin's insanity, at least dedicate some real time to it. In my opinion, Lucas should have slashed the whole Jar Jar side story and the pod race and used that time to focus some on Anakin's training at the temple and his dwellings on Padme. The whole Anakin/Padme thing seems way too much like Romeo and Juliet: impetuous. But even with R&J the whole play was dedicated to the two of them and their dealings. You have to give more than some frolicking on Naboo if you want people to take their relationship seriously (which they need to if they're going to understand Anakin's later decisions).

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Anonymous Coward]

I'll take bad acting and dialog as a valid criticism

So nothing important then. For Christ's sake, if you accept that the acting was no good an dyou accept that the dialog was no good then what's left?

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Anonymous Coward]

You're telling me you wouldn't vote for Natalie Portman if she were running for president?

I'd need to know about her policy on hot grits first.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Anonymous Coward]

Right, and how many black or asian guys were there in Episode 4?

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Anonymous Coward]

Annakin saves the queen's ass twice (first with the pod racer, then by blowing up the droid control ship). She's a god-damned queen and she never sends anyone back to Tatooine to buy Annakin's mother out of slavery? And Annakin still loves her. WTF?!

i dunno...
leaving her mother-in-law in slavery on a distant world... doesn't seem to be too much of a problem.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[MixmastaKooz]

Very true! And contrast that with the love story between Han and Leia in Empire...it didn't overtake the story because it was evenly spread over the entire film: with the sexual tension between the two on Hoth, the tension while navigating the astroid field, the kiss while repairing the Falcon (and C3-P0's interuption was BRILLIANT), the kiss on the cheek after escaping the Star Destroyer, the kinda into each other/are we dating? scene in Cloud City (originally, they kissed in that scene--it's where Leia says she doesn't trust Lando, fyi), and of course, the I love you/I know scene. FANTASTIC! Not too much, but it really was a wonderful love story!

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Anonymous Coward]

Quite Republican, really.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Anonymous Coward]

Er... middle 'half'?

Yeah; on either side, methinks, wones 25%.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Coryoth]

Additionally it would have been nice to see any sign that Darth Maul was really evil. Oh sure, he LOOKED evil enough, but other than fighting when Obi Wan and Qui Gon attacked him, he really didn't do much that showed us who he was... unlike how the character of Darth Vader was built in the first movie.

That's because the prequels have a weird "rent-a-villain" mentality. From what I gather we kill off Dooku in the first act of Ep III, and introduce "General Grievous". So for the 3 films we have as the "major villain" Darth Maul, Jango Fett (sort of), Count Dooku, General Grievous, and Darth Vader (presumably). It's hard to develop much real sense of impending threat when one "major" villain after another gets knocked off before he has actually managed to do much of anything.

Was Maul a very imposing villain? Hell, considering his actions he could almost have been a good guy. He did nothing except have one very impressive light sabre duel. He provided a fantastic action set piece, but completely failed to provide anything resembling a villain. Likewise for Dooku and Fett - they each got a short introduction in which they didn't do much of anything, an action set piece, and then were (presumably for Dooku) unceremoniously killed.

These characters were not villains they were simply supporting props to try and hold the plot up and stick out glaringly as such.

The biggest problem with Ep I and II is that they fail to get us involved and invested in the travails and fates of the main characters. We simply don't really care what happens to them - not in the same way that we were interested in what became of Luke and Han and Leia. In a large part this is because the villains have been, realistically, so artificial - we don't want the heors to win, because they haven't actually been given anything to struggle against that we really care about. The menace has never been properly established, and the "villain-of-the-week" approach certainly doesn't help.

Jedidiah.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Mac Degger]

I think your accent issue is at teh very least hypocritical: it didn't bother you that the rebels had american accents and the empire was british? No: it was a cool differentiation technique...so wtf is wrong/racist about broadening that concept? Especially when it is quite a broadly carried concept that the Japanese have perfected the idea that economy is Sun Tzu's 'winning without fighting is best'.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Mac Degger]

Like the AC says: the run Han talks about is littered with black holes: getting the shortest distance through that gauntlet means you're a good astrogator...shortest distance also means shortest runthroughtime (we can assume).

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[disserto]

I don't know that he knew pacing. Lucas didn't direct Empire or Jedi. He also had help writing those 2. Since then, he's written and directed all 3 of the new episodes. And it shows.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[_avs_007]

If Natalie Portman were elected president, I'd sign up to be an intern.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[kin_korn_karn]

that's a damn good point.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Anonymous Coward]

the way i understand it, minus some detail, is that the kessel run is a chase between some imperial cruisers and a pirate with some loot. the parsec is the time it takes for an imperial cruiser to reach a specified point in space in the kessel run. i think that's on starwars.com.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Anonymous Coward]

american and british are not RACES, fuckity fuckwit.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[anvilmark]

Yes! I just finished watching the entire series, in sequence with some relatives that had never seen them. Gads, this wasn't a tapestry of a story, it was a spiderweb at best.

What moronic civilization would elect a teenager as their supreme ruler? (Notice no reference to a parliment or other ruling body - she was making all the important decisions herself)
Better yet, how dumb would you have to be to appoint Jar Jar to *any* position of responsibility?

I could go on and on...

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Anonymous Coward]

Last time I checked, James Earl Jones was an American. (And so were the actors who voiced the Stormtroopers.)

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[G-funk]

Amidahla, who in Ep 1 was "queen", talking in Ep 2 about how wonderful democracy is

Did you even watch episode one? She talks about being elected, what the hell is undemocratic about that? Queen, Prime Minister, General, Grand Poobah, it's just a label for "person in charge" in this case.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[PriceIke]

Yeah well, the way I understand it, Lucas used the word incorrectly in his script and then he (or another author/writer) made up a suitable explanation for it later to "explain" it. Sure, the explanations are inventive, but ultimately it was a goof.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[lee1026]

"The Jedi, who are supposed to be very very smart, attacking into what is completely obviously a trap" I'm not quite so sure that is unintentional. the jedi are just slightly arrogent. and they obviously know that the clones are going to show up soon. But over all I thought that I was horrible until I re watched 4. Maybe if you rewatch 4 then 1 would seem entertaining again. (I actually liked 2 because it was fun, not a good story, but fun to watch)

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[AussieVamp2]

would YOU buy a potential mother in law out of slavery???

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Anonymous Coward]

Jedidiah, I read your nick as Jedidish.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[kin_korn_karn]

yeah, but I hate cliche's like the one about evil mothers-in-law so I'd do it just on general principle.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[Anonymous Coward]

Last time I checked, James Earl Jones was an American. (And so were the actors who voiced the Stormtroopers.)

No, James Earl Jones was the voice of Darth Vader. I think, but not sure about this, they just filtered the extra's voices for the Stormtroopers.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[AussieVamp2]

Not married then obviously? :)

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[kin_korn_karn]

No, married and happily so, with great in-laws. Try another stereotype.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[mink]

Check out one of the Phantom Edits. They make JaraJar an intelligent character who actually plays a part inthe plot, and replace the aliens bad accents with giberish and subtitles (including Jar Jar).
Still not he best film ever, but the edits do improve it.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[mink]

Another thing that left Darth Maul a less convincing villian was that the Jedi "heros" were more involved in shady dealings and stuff then he was.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[mink]

She mentions it in ep 1 as well.

Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine

[AussieVamp2]

just a lucky minority :)

Not unbiased

[Anonymous Coward]

What do you expect a working director to say? He probably hopes to direct one of the TV spin-offs if he can. Those IN the industry can't afford to be critical if they ever want to work with someone powerful or any of his many friends.

People in Hollywood will gush over something they like, but you never see them saying ANYTHING about something they don't.

Re:Not unbiased

[Anonymous Coward]

People in Hollywood will gush over something they like, but you never see them saying ANYTHING about something they don't.

It's funny that you mention this, because it applies to most forms of art. In my community, there is a large amount of local musicians. But you never hear one of them badmouth another, unless it's to offer advice. I think it's more of a courtesy thing there, though.

Sometimes I don't get George

[Sark666]

I was really excited when I saw the last trailer for ROTS and still am, but George mentioned in an interview:
"Obviously, fans would love to see a movie about Darth Vader running
around killing people. I'm not telling that story, and I'm not interested
in that. That's not what the movie is."

Now, I didn't necessarily expect to see Darth going around killing everybody, but the original said vader hunted down and killed the jedi. I don't know about you, but I've always wanted to see that, not anakin do this (as is implied in the trailer), but vader.

Imagine the last trailer the exact same way, but when anakin is walking with the army and where you see him attack a few people, replace that with vader. That would kick ass!

What I don't get about George is he knows lots of fans want this, but says 'naaah, screw it'. Imagine writing a play and you come to a scene that you know will having people on their feet cheering and you say naw screw that scene. I know I know, George has his grand vision and all, even though he struggled to write this. He had to force himself to stay at his desk or he said otherwise he'd only get a page done a day, so this definately doesn't 'flow' from him.

I dunno, to not see vader throw it down one more time is just wrong.

Re:Sometimes I don't get George

[digidave]

RTFA. Anakin does go around and kill the Jedi. Obviously, they aren't going to show every slaughter, but enough that you know what's going on.

Re:Sometimes I don't get George

[stanmann]

HINT: ANAKIN BECOMES VADER BEFORE HE BURNS HALF TO DEATH Oh.. oops.. left off the spoiler warning... Ah well

Anyway.. whether in the ugly black suit or not Anakin is Vader.

Re:Sometimes I don't get George

[Gulthek]

Quoth the parent with my own emphasis: "but I've always wanted to see that, not anakin do this (as is implied in the trailer), but vader."

So. There you go. I agree with that btw. I want to see Vader in his "prime" causing destruction and mayhem, not more of Anakin cutting loose.

Re:Sometimes I don't get George

[Sark666]

Thank you for getting what I posted unlike the other two. And regards to the below post, How I pictured it is you wouldn't have to have the anakin/obi battle at the beginning necessarily, even 3/4's of the way through. Obi might have even thought anakin perished and then this new sith lord rises and kills most of the jedi. And it would fit with obi saying in the trailer 'who could have done this?'. After all, it's implied in a new hope that vader is well known, well, well known for what?

Ahh I'm rambling now, I'm just disappointed that we are not going to see this.

Re:Sometimes I don't get George

[Treebeard the Ent]

Actually Vader HELPED the empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi. Vader/Anakin doesn't necessarily do it himself...

Spoilers?

[PeterChenoweth]

Why is everyone so worried about spoilers? What spoilers? Is there someone here who *hasn't* seen Episodes 4-6? Everyone knows what is supposed to happen in Episode 3.

Let's see, what do we know from 4-6. Darth Vader is Luke's father, and Leia is his sister. Obi Wan took Luke to Tatooine to live with Uncle Owen after Darth Vader took out the Jedi. The Emperor is bad, and he's the one who turns Anakin into Darth Vader via the Dark Side.

So that means in Episode 3, that there's going to be a pair of twins born, Obi Wan's going to take one of them to Tatooine, lots of Jedi will be killed, and Anakin's going to be put back together to become Darth Vader by the Emperor.

And that pretty much sums up exactly what the review says. Basically, it would appear to completely connect what has happened in 1 and 2 with 4-6. The review does point out a couple of plot elements to show just how dark Ep3 is going to be, and how much he liked it, but I don't think they'd ruin it for anyone.

Ob. Southpark quote

[Swamii]

Oh wait! That was brown, brown, brown...

Noise, noise, noise...

Re:Spoiler - Han Shoots First explained.

[Anonymous Coward]

They also revealed that Luke and Leia's kid (remember their kiss), turned into a bad guy in a similar way that Anakin did; and this kid decided to whitewash history; and had all the records changed that reflected poorly on his daddy's friends. In that editing of history, Han's history was changed.

THANKS FOR RUINING IT FOR ME, KEVIN!

[digitaldc]

You ruined it!!! Anakin IS DARTH VADER???? Damn you Kevin, I thought Anakin was going to be this cool dude that was going to sponsor pod races and repair robots in his spare time. Why did you have to tell me he was going to turn to the Dark Side?? Ani was such a good boy! I can't believe it! (sob)

Re:THANKS FOR RUINING IT FOR ME, KEVIN!

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow this is new exciting and funny.

Wait no, it's not.

The biggest surprise...

[slapout]

...was when George turned to Kevin and said "I am your father."

Re:The biggest surprise...

[Anonymous Coward]

...was when George turned to Kevin and said "I am your father."

I don't think "who's yer daddy?" means the same thing you think it means.

Tribute to Kevin...

[readgs]

In "Site", I hear they added some new dialog after Kevin saw it... "Yo, Anakin...show your metal face." ...and BAM, he turns to the darkside... Then he sings to Padme..."Your love is like a bleeding heart, Darth VA-DER!" Bet it'll still suck.

Re:Tribute to Kevin...

[Anonymous Coward]

LOLOLOLOLOLOL ROFL Damn, now I'm not going to be able to get Berzerker out of my head for the rest of the day!

Anti-climax for my part

[Nevtje(hr]

I've been looking forward to seeing Ep 3, mainly for the lightsabre fights... I've read some spoilers, I know generally what is gonna happen but I kept myself away from the details.

However, the closer to May 19th that I come, the closer I feel like doing an anti-climax and watch the movie the week after it's out... Just because.

I disagree

[complexmath]

Quite simply, the cinematography in the first two films was bad and terrible, respectively. Also, the technology failed at rendering some scenes that should have been done with more traditional methods (Anakin riding some beast critter standing up springs to mind). Finally, the story progression was at once both trite and confusing, made worse by the terrible acting (which I personally attribute to poor direction).

From Kevin Smith's review it's clear that the Jar Jar issues have been addressed, and that Lucas makes at least a few attempts to connect with the hardcore fans, but the review says nothing about cinematography or direction. I'm going to give this film the benefit of the doubt and go see it, but I don't expect these particular two issues to have been addressed adequately. I'm hoping for a good action film and will try to withhold any criticisms about plot, depth, or continuity.

Re:Spoiler - Han Shoots First explained.

[PeterChenoweth]

So since when did Lucas enlist Rick Bermann to help write Episode 3?

Finally, redemption

[PureFiction]

Thank god this movie sounds like it will finally redeem lucas for episodes 1 & 2.

I have been cautiosly skeptical about this one, with my hopes heading higher after the PG-13 rating.

Now it finally appears that I can look forward to this movie as a fulfilling and engaging piece of work, without the crappy dialogue, annoying characters and tepid plot of the first two episodes.

Finally, redemption.

DAMN YOU!

[DarkHelmet]

Damn you Kevin Smith! I didn't want a review saying how much it rocked, even if it does!

I want to hear how much it incredibly sucks ass... That way, when it ends up being completely awesome, that I'm blown away, not expecting it.

Re:DAMN YOU!

[toolshed7]

I love /. comments...freaking funny.

Re:DAMN YOU!

[tigersha]

Why don't you bash your head into a wall repeatedly. Its really fun to stop!

To Sum It Up

[HitByASquirrel]

I stopped reading at: "Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome. - Kevin Smith

If it's good enough for Silent Bob, it's good enough for me. Can't wait to see it in theaters.

Nnnnnnnneeeeeeeeerrrrrrrdddssss!!!!!!

[nightsweat]

And god love you for it. I'm right there with you.

It's R2D2's story isn't it?

[erroneus]

I don't remember where I read this, but isn't the story of Star Wars supposed to have come from R2D2's perspective? The fact that C3PO was MADE my Anakin still goes on as unexplained with regards to why Vader didn't acknowledge anything regarding him. The closest the two came was on Empire Strikes Back in Cloud City where Solo was being frozen in carbonite. Admittedly he wasn't in one whole piece at the time but still...

Okay okay, it's a FREAKING MOVIE and not a historical documentary, but what say anyone else about Star Wars being told from R2D2's memory? How can it be if R2D2's memory was erased?

Re:It's R2D2's story isn't it?

[Anonymous Coward]

R2's isn't erased. It's kinda cool; you realize R2D2 has really known the truth all along.
It fits his charecter well, to find out he's really the wisest of the charecter, perhaps excepting the Jedi.

Re:It's R2D2's story isn't it?

[Mr. No Skills]

I hate being such a nerd here, but R2D2 isn't the protocol droid, C-3PO is.

Re:It's R2D2's story isn't it?

[Anonymous Coward]

Acording to the article, C3PO's (ie the protocol droid) memory was erased. R2D2 probably wasn't considered as important given that he can't really speak. It's entirely plausible that they forgot R2D2 saw everything, and only erased C3PO's memory because they couldn't get him to shut up for 10 seconds.

Re:It's R2D2's story isn't it?

[riptide_dot]

The fact that C3PO was MADE my Anakin still goes on as unexplained with regards to why Vader didn't acknowledge anything regarding him. The closest the two came was on Empire Strikes Back in Cloud City where Solo was being frozen in carbonite. Admittedly he wasn't in one whole piece at the time but still...

Oh yeah. :) It is cheesy at best, but I guess you could explain that away in a couple of ways:

1) Anakin made him but never finished him, so when he saw the broken one in Cloud City, it didn't occur to him that it was the same droid. The voice matched though, so that probably should have clued him in, unless of course you infer that he didn't hear Threepio speak.

2) He was so interested in the happenings of the Carbonite Chamber (will Han die and this is useless for Luke? Will he live and I've got a nice way to transport Luke to the Emporer?) that he noticed something familiar but didn't care.

Re:It's R2D2's story isn't it?

[PriceIke]

This also explains why Threepio was never hit by a laser bolt in the opening battle aboard the blockade runner .. Vader was like, "if you see a gold protocol droid, DON'T SHOOT IT .. it's mine!"

Re:It's R2D2's story isn't it?

[Gulthek]

Or, applying Occam's razor, Anakin didn't encode a unique voice or custom build parts, but rather built C3P0 from generic scrap pieces from the junk yard. Why go looking for a complicated solution, eh? There are probably dozens of protocol droids that look and sound exactly like C3P0.

BTW in the Clone Wars cartoons Anakin does meet the fully finished C3P0.

Re:It's R2D2's story isn't it?

[Bob Uhl]

Vader was like, 'if you see a gold protocol droid, don't shoot it...it's mine!'

That's possibly the funniest thing I've read in a long, long, long time. Bravo!

Re:It's R2D2's story isn't it?

[Anonymous Coward]

Pfft. Like they could have hit it anyway.

Re:It's R2D2's story isn't it?

[jasonbowen]

I like it when a comment makes me laugh out loud like that.

Re:It's R2D2's story isn't it?

[AussieVamp2]

Is electronic engineering a 101 or 201 subject at Jedi school, btw?

The coplete plot

[Anonymous Coward]

Can be found in the comic books adaptation of sith, by darkhorse... Judging by the plot I read in these magazines and what I have been reading this movie will be worth watching... I already got my midnight tickets and I am looking at my list of excuses to see which one is next, since I got "the phantom flu" a few years back

First I want to see it...

[Anonymous Coward]

First I want to see it because the trailer kicks ass.

Then I don't because the trailers suck ass.

And now I do because of some fat-ass.

Absolutely Right -- Lucas Media created the Hate

[FreeUser]

Personally, I think most of the hate directed at the previous two, Jar-Jar comments aside, was a media invention.

Absolutely right, it is a media invention, invented by none other than Lucas when he created the two abominations that are Star Wars Episodes I and II.

I own the Ep I DVD (stupid me for buying the thing sight-unseen despite the negative comments here and elsewhere). I was spared spending money on the second one by watching the first half hour or so on a friend's box (that person had downloaded it about a week before SW came out in theaters). It was so bad, that by the time we got to the wooden Natilie Portman talks to Annikan scene we quit watching and deleted the file.

Last night, after watching SW Revelations, I tried watching Episode I again just for the FX eye candy. Again, the writing, acting, and storyline were so bad, I couldn't finish it. I'd forgotten how truly awful it is.

I liked Star Wars--but not anymore. This isn't some "Liberal Media Conspiracy" any more than the exposure of Tom Delay's congressional corruption is. The hatred for the new Star Wars movies (Jar Jar included) is derived solely from the absolute feces George Lucas has chosen to foist upon his fans in place of an actual Star Wars movie. It's a shame so many fans are willing to accept such drivel, for that lowers the bar on any future SW creations (and truth be told, even at its best the bar was never THAT high to begin with)...which means we can only expect the same or worse. Fan Fiction films like Revelations excepted--that was truly remarkable: a low budget film with a better storyline, better acting, and better execution than the last two Lucas movies (FX excepted, and even there they did an excellent job).

Wait, no it is!

[digitaldc]

Wait no, its not.

Somehow I can't buy into this being soo dark...

[ardor]

he sounds exactly like a Star Wars fanboy who quite possibly saw something NOT happy/funny/good for the first time.

I hope I'm wrong, because Ep3 has potential. We just need to have things as cold and threatening as in Empire. That would be a good start. But dark, dark, dark - you can't get the Star Wars universe to this point easily. The SW world is much too shiney for it. Try to create a SW movie with a dark feeling like in Space Above & Beyond - THAT would classify as "dark". Or a movie with a similar feeling as in the Alien movies & comics.

Then again - SAAB and Alien have ships and settings with a run-down, used look, where Star Wars shines perfectly.

Re:Somehow I can't buy into this being soo dark...

[gentlemen_loser]

Anakin lying in a pool of lava with his arms and legs cut off screaming at Obi Wan does not sound dark to you?

You sound exactly like someone who has been completely desensitized by media.

End Rant - You can now resume watching whatever the hell it was that you were watching on your TV. Sorry to interupt you with a reality check.

Re:Somehow I can't buy into this being soo dark...

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually I don't agree about the shiny ships. While the "royal" ships were spotless, the Falcon was far from shiny. As much as I hate to give Lucas credit for much since eps I II, most of the Star Wars universe does have a lived-in feel.

Re:Somehow I can't buy into this being soo dark...

[Macrobat]

he sounds exactly like a Star Wars fanboy who quite possibly saw something NOT happy/funny/good for the first time.

Maybe he sounds that way to you, but he's actually fairly well-rounded in his viewing tastes. I remember him raving about "A Man for All Seasons," for example, in an NYT interview, expressing surprise that more people haven't seen it -- and that's not exactly a happy/funny/good ending, either. And IIRC, this is the guy who killed off Karen Page in the DD comics.

Re:Somehow I can't buy into this being soo dark...

[Anonymous Coward]

Anakin lying in a pool of lava with his arms and legs cut off and screaming at Obi Wan doesn't sound dark, it sounds like a tribute to Monty Python and the holy grail.

Media desensitization.... I'm desensitized to bad movies now, and it's largely courtesy of George Lucas and the abomination he made of Star Wars-ROTJ, or ep 4-6 for everybody younger than 30.

I truly wish this movie is as dark as K. Smith promises. I've waited for nearly 3 decades to have a front row seat from which I could watch my childhood hero Darth Vader slaughter the Jedi, I only hope Lucas allows it to be so.

Spoiler-free summary

[Anonymous Coward]

As dark as "Empire" was, this movie goes a thousand times darker - from the triggering of Order 66 (which has all the Shock Troopers turning on the Jedi Knights they've been fighting beside throughout the Clone Wars and gunning them down), to the jaw-dropping Anakin/Obi Wan fight on Mustafar (where - after cutting his legs and arm off, Ben leaves Skywalker burning alive on the shores of a lava river, with Anakin spitting venomous sentiments at his departing mentor), this flick is so satisfyingly tragic, you'll think you're watching "Othello" or "Hamlet". ...

The Clone Wars end rather early in the flick (about the halfway point), leaving the rest of the film to concentrate on Anakin's turn to the Dark Side, and the resulting slaughter of the Jedi. ...

This is the flick that feels closest to Episodes 4, 5, and 6, because - for the first time since "Return of the Jedi" - there is a clear villain. Whether he's slowly drawing Anakin toward the Dark Side during an opera/performance art piece with his promise of the Sith's power of life over death, or he's engaged in a balls-to-the-wall lightsaber duel in the Senate with Yoda, his "Little, green friend" (his words, not mine - which I kinda dug, because, interestingly, I think it's the first time anyone's acknowledged that Yoda is green in any of the "Star Wars" flicks), this is the Emperor's movie. ...

Leia heads to Alderann with Bail Organa, and Obi Wan hands Luke over to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru (indeed, the closing shot is Owen holding Luke while looking out over the setting suns of Tatooine - mimicking the shot of the adult Luke doing the same in "Star Wars", complete with callback cue from Williams). ...

- And, hands-down, the best link-up to "Star Wars" moment that I enjoyed the most: Bail Organa and Yoda stepping into the hallway of the Rebel Blockade Runner that opened "Star Wars".

Re:Spoiler-free summary

[Anonymous Coward]

How the fuck was this marked informative? It has the worst spoilers. Take a look and mark parent troll, please.

The Truth of the Matter

[bubba_ry]

The truth of the matter is this:

We're all going to go see the damn movie! Some of us will go because we like Star Wars, no matter what the plot (or lack thereof); we like shit blowing up and sword fights. And FX. Lot's of 'em. Some of us will go to see if the movie is good. Others to see if the movie sucks.

Either way, we're all seeing the movie and Lucas hears the bells of cash registers ringing in his head.

Re:The Truth of the Matter

[WillAffleckUW]

The truth of the matter is this:

We're all going to go see the damn movie!

We are?

I was going to see Hitchhiker's Guide and skip this until it comes out on DVD ...

Re:The Truth of the Matter

[dmaxwell]

In a year or two it'll show up on the premium movie channels. I'll see it then. I pay for the movie channels anyway. I'm NOT feeding Lucas any cash for this one even if is is the greatest SW ever. EP. 1 and 2 sucked (2 a tad less) and I'm not getting fooled again. Come to think of it, I only rented Ep. 2 (after "New Release" period was over) so I was getting wiser already.

Re:The Truth of the Matter

[KlausBreuer]

Nope. I'm not.

I remember Episode I. Was I looking forward! Hopped about an entire week before it started, and man, I was 30 at the time.

It stank. Very badly. Really seriously badly.

Part II I got off the net. Saw less than half of it before I deleted the file.

Part III does not interest me at all - I would in all honesty not see it for free. I'd rather play with my cats, enjoy the sun, or play WoW...

An alternative review

[gmuslera]

The movie was great, very very dark, excellent, at least for the few seconds it lasted. Then a ligth comes from a big square in the front of the room, and some bad actors started to play an star wars parody, i assume to lighten a bit up how much dark was the real movie.

My evaluation? The movie excellent, the post-parody so so, I have better dialogs as Silent Bob.

-Kevin Smith

Thank you!!!

[SuperKendall]

I'm going to leave the story after this post as I already accidentally just caught one spoiler I wish I had not seen. But I thank you profusely for giving me a spoiler free summary of what he thought.

After seeing the trailers, the extended footage at Celebration III, the Clone Wars stuff, and reading some backstory (Labyrinth of Evil book) that opinion is exactly what I had arrived at. The previous two movies were real mixed bags for me but I thought all along that EP3 would be pretty good because Lucas just didn't have much room to maneuver in terms of messing with the plot - and some of the stuff he had set up in previous movies could lead to some interesting conclusions in EP3. It does indeed look to be Awesome with the capital A and I think there will be few fans really angry with it as a Star Wars movie.

P.S. I know this is totally going to sound like fanboy nonsense, but really, really strive to see it at least once in a theater with a digital projector. The extended 10 minites of footage they showed at Celebration III was just breathtaking, truly spectacular. They have gone far and beyond any special effects from the last two Star Wars movies and really given it a beauty I felt the others lacked a little.

boycotting

[The Queen]

I'm with you.

If one day my curiosity gets the better of me, I'm sure someone I know will have it on DVD.

I'll have to be pretty drunk though. It's hard to watch Lucas continually bludgeon the already-dead body of my childhood fantasies. Episode 1 had way too much CG, and Episode 2 was like watching a warthog romancing a peacock.

No no, not dark as in lighting quantity.

[Paradox]

KS said the movie was dark as in content. As in lots of violence and bad things happening.

Sheesh. Slashdotters.

Jar-Jar's Reply

[w0lver]

"Meesa so happy that Ani, ummm, Kevin liking the Sith! Meesa on the next shuttle to Alderaan..."

Re:Jar-Jar's Reply

[AussieVamp2]

so Moffy Tarkin had a not so silly plan all along then?

Re:Spoilers?! Who gives a shit? We all know the st

[Anonymous Coward]

The spoilers are in the details, my friend. Sure, everyone knows the main plot, but they don't want to know that the "big fight scene where the guy screams and falls down the shaft is so AWESOME because it's Bobe Fett" or some crap.

A little Jedi humor

[Mr.Progressive]

where - after cutting his legs and arm off, Ben leaves Skywalker burning alive on the shores of a lava river

On a bright sunny day on Mustafar, Obi-Wan Kenobi was taking a pleasant stroll around the lava river. He spots an armless and legless Anakin Skywalker and, moved with pity, he asks young Skywalker if there's anything he can do for him. Skywalker replies, 'well, I've never been hugged before'. In response, Kenobi gives Anakin a big ol' bear hug and satisfied with his good deed, continues on his pleasant stroll around the river. He come back around to the place where Anakin lay and decided to ask him if there was anything else he needed. To this, Anakin replies, 'well, I've never been kissed before'. Kenobi thinks for second, and though a little hesitant, gives Anakin a peck on the forehead. He leaves again, satisfied. He comes back around a third time and again, asks Anakin if there's anything he wants. Anakin says "well, I've never been fucked before!" and so Kenobi picks him up, throws him in the lava river and shouts 'now you're fucked!'

Re:A little Jedi humor

[rewinn]

Ah! that explains why Darth Vader does that dirty-old-man heavy breathing!

yeah, but...

[Anonymous Coward]

Sure, it's great to see where Anakin comes from, but admit it -- what you really want is to see him kill children.

Yeah, except the fact that you don't get to see it. Reread Smith's spoiler. The killing of the younglings is implied. You don't see Anakin slicing through children who are screaming. Lucas just doesn't get it. This implied stuff only works if you are very skilled, which he isn't. Same problem in Episode II when Anakin supposedly slaughters an entire village of Sandpeople. You see him strike two sandpeople who are just standing around. You don't see him chasing after sandchildren or sandmothers and cutting them in two. All you get is him crying about it later. The first rule of filmmaking is that you show the audience. You don't have someone else talk about it. That's what books are for. If you want to make an emotional scene, you have to show the action. This implied evil just doesn't work unless you are extremely good at your craft.

GMD

Re:yeah, but...

[illtron]

I dunno, I thought the scene in the Tusken Raider camp was pretty chilling. Just like when you see Owen and Beru's corpses burning after the stormtroopers pay them a visit. You didn't see the actual act, but you knew what happened. You don't need to resort to overt violence, especially if you're at least *trying* to make a film for everyone.

And yeah, I know it's implied again in Episode III, but come on -- a roomful of scared children ask him for help and then later you see them all dead? You know what happens, and not seeing the actual act doesn't make the character any more or less evil.

It's absolutely unnecessary to show the audience. Yes, I realize it takes a skilled director to pull it off. Yes, I know Lucas has blown stuff like this before. *We* haven't seen this scene yet, and I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. It sounds like he will pull it off, and I'll make my decision when I see it. Until then, I'm hopeful. But showing the audience the actual act isn't necessary. It's called subtlety, and I think it may arguably be better to not show it, rather than having him chase little kids around while he spouts off catchphrases like Freddy Krueger with a lightsaber.

Ignore Smith, he liked the Phantom Menace

[Anonymous Coward]

Unless you thought TPM was a good movie, Smith's opinion is kinda meaningless. He reviewed TPM and said the following:

Of the film, I can say many things. But the long and short of it is that I liked it - quite a bit. I'd rank it right after 'Empire' in a list of fave 'Star Wars' flicks. It starts great, ends great, and has great stuff sprinkled in between.

From this review.

Hard to believe we were watching the same movie. No wonder he got first look at Lucas' latest offering.

Which geek?

[0xABADC0DA]

So which geek is man enough to donate 3 years in the pokey so the rest of use can download it on bittorrent? Any volunteers?

--
It's called the FECA Law because everybody knows it's crap.

Re:Which geek?

[servognome]

Yes, please help those in Japan, who have to wait until JULY 9th!!!!

Re:READ IT!!! Bah...

[releppes]

Although I'm curious, I pretty much gave up on the whole StarWars movie scene. Like many of the older types here, I was blown away with the initial SW and ESB movies. Then that piece of crap RJ came out.

I heard all the arguments on how the first two were so gritty and that's why they were good, but when Jedi came out they toned it down to make it more family friendly. That to me completely ruined the whole StarWars experience.

Several years passed and the talk of creating the prequal finally comes true. Of course I was skepical after the whole Jedi thing. Sure enough, PM and AC was just as fuzzy as Jedi. I was even more disappointed with the cast of alien characters. The only thing those movies had was nice special effects glossing over a thin story line of ultra cheezy characters.

So from the review of the final movie, I'm suppose to assume that Lucas has gone back into adding the grit that made the very first SW and ESB so great? I'll rent it at the Library someday just so I can satify my curiousity.

For me, StarWars movies have fallen so far from grace and I just can't get excited over the hype anymore. I so hope that someday another space SciFi trilogy will rock the media world like how StarWars did back in the 70's.

Lest we forget, fellow /.ers...

[Anonymous Coward]

...Smith was a big fan of Episode I (http://www.viewaskew.com/press/menace.html). Plus, Smith apparently really wants a piece of the Star Wars television series George Lucas is developing. As so many others have said, take this review with an extremely small grain of salt.

Re:Spoiler - Han Shoots First explained.

[Anonymous Coward]

They also revealed that Luke and Leia's kid (remember their kiss)

Umm, I hate to break this to you (as I'm sure you'd find out once you hit puberty), but your parents lied to you - you don't get pregnant through kissing. :o)

Re:Spoiler - Han Shoots First explained.

[Anonymous Coward]

you don't get pregnant through kissing. :o)

I don't think you're doing it right.

You sure its not dork...

[nweaver]

Are you sure he didn't meen to say

The movies is dork, Dork, dorK, DORK,... DORK... DORK!!!!!

You missed his point...

[Anonymous Coward]

He wanted it to be Anakin as Darth Vader (iron lung and bionic body and all) that runs (limps) around killing all the Jedi.

Of course, that would mean that he would have to have had his big climatic battle with Obi-Wan at the beginning of the movie.

Failing Grade

[gosand]

He then goes into rather gory detail about all the little tie-ins and close-ups and endings that you thought could never be put together in one movie.

To be blunt: how friggin hard could it be? I think the tie-ins are obvious. Hell, the last 15-30 minutes of the movie were already told - in Episode IV.

Sorry, Lucas gets no credit for that, it is his JOB to tie them in. And even if this movie is dark, and even if it is cool and amazing, all it means is that Lucas is shooting 50%. We forgave ROTJ because the first two were that good. But even if this one is awesome, that is 3 out of 6, which is a failing grade.

Re:Failing Grade

[Anonymous Coward]

Man, is someone bitter?

Re:Failing Grade

[gosand]

Man, is someone bitter?

Just tired of everyone falling all over George Lucas for something he did 20 years ago, all the while overlooking what he has done since then. Not only has it been awful, it has tainted the good stuff he did long long ago. Why are people kissing his ass? Star Wars is dead, and has been for a long time.

So they wipe the minds of C3PO and R2D2...

[podperson]

But where do they wipe Ben Kenobi's mind?

1) So that he forgets you can test for The Force using a midichlorian home-testing kit.

2) So that he forgets travelling with C3P0 and R2D2.

It definitely sounds better than the first two movies -- lowering expectations is a wonderful thing.

Re:So they wipe the minds of C3PO and R2D2...

[Kanabiis Atiiva]

I dont believe he ever said he didnt recall traveling with droids, he said he never recalled owning any droids. He never owned C3PO or R2D2. He lives in the Star Wars universe, traveling with a droid is common.

Re:So they wipe the minds of C3PO and R2D2...

[geekwithsoul]

He never says that he doesn't remember them, he says something to the effect of "I don't remember ever owning any droids." And that is technically true, as he never owned them (or any others as far as the films show).

I was initially bothered by this as well, but I've decided it was just Ben being coy about what was happening. After all, last he had heard (being on the furthest point from the bright center of the universe) the Jedi Knights were being hunted down and killed. Couldn't be possible that he might have some reservations about whether or not Luke was being used (without him knowing it) to track him down?

As for the home-testing kit, I suspect those were made under the auspices of the Jedi Council, and with the destruction of the Jedi, they weren't available anymore.

Whew . . . that's enough geek for today!

Re:So they wipe the minds of C3PO and R2D2...

[Anonymous Coward]

Besides which, he's known for dishonesty. Even if he had denied ever having been anywhere near any droids at all, when challenged on it he could just say "well, it's true... in a sense." and rely on everyone being too stunned to call him on it.

A long time ago, in an incestuous galaxy

[Scrameustache]

Leah being Luke's sister was an idea which came to him when he was 2/3 done writing "Return of the Jedi."

I especially like when Luke tells her and she says she always knew.

Yeah? Even when you were frenching him!? You sick weirdo!

Re:A long time ago, in an incestuous galaxy

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, quite frankly, I wouldn't mind having a hot sister like that.

And don't deny it. You're a fucking fag if you wouldn't fuck your hot sister given a change.

Re:A long time ago, in an incestuous galaxy

[operagost]

It was just a nice way of telling him he was a lousy kisser.

Re:A long time ago, in an incestuous galaxy

[Anonymous Coward]

A sex change?

Re:A long time ago, in an incestuous galaxy

[Master of Transhuman]

Haven't you seen Angelina Jolie frenching her brother?

Everybody wants a sister like that, admit it!

Given that an estimated 15% of siblings have some sort of sexual experiences, it's no surprise.

Re:A long time ago, in an incestuous galaxy

[Anonymous Coward]

Are you from West Virginia?

Re:A long time ago, in an incestuous galaxy

[CaptainAvatar]

Given that an estimated 15% of siblings have some sort of sexual experiences, it's no surprise.

There's no way it can possibly be that low.

Ohhh, you mean with each other, don't you? Never mind then.

Re:A long time ago, in an incestuous galaxy

[Master of Transhuman]

Heh, heh, and you know a statistic like that IS bound to be low given the consequences of admitting to such a thing...:-)

How Jim Corr ever stood being around his three younger sisters is a matter I dare not speculate about.

I remember one funny exchange between them in an interview I have on video. The usual question was asked of them how they felt being seen as the "sexiest band in rock". Jim immediately said. "I never think of myself as sexy." To which Sharon immediately said, "I don't think of you as sexy, either!" To which Jim replied, "WELL! Thank you for that, SISTER!"

dunno

[jafac]

I'm torn.

If Lucas had invited me to Skywalker Ranch for a screening, I'd be kind of tempted to write a similar review, no matter what went on in the film. Particularly if there was free beer involved.

Re:Absolutely Right -- Lucas Media created the Hat

[Anonymous Coward]

as a filmmaker, the inventive talent and sheer hardwork impresses me in revelations.
as a writer and director, i'm sorry but revelations blew. it was unwatchable to me. i deleted it after i sat through it.
and remember i was blown away by the by all its merits.
but the acting and direction and editing is much worse than ANY of the prequels and anything else actually. and therefore unwatchable.

and i will wthc anythiung to appreciate the work of others and to LEARN.
so if you think that revelations is better than any of the prequels.. which i hate...
must mean
either a/
you know nothing of cinema
b/ are a rabid, bitter fan who stand anything apart from official 'canon'.

yes SW belongs ot the fans in large part. due to the culture and faith of the fanbase which makes money for lucas. but its no good whining cause you hate jar jar. its justa movie and its bette rthan bad boys 2 or lethal weapon 4
or latest michael bay trash. or WWF.

whilst i do not claim the prequels or the originals are any good.
in fact i found the originals highly boring as a child. i preferred darker smarter stuff.

if i ever have kids i'd like them to see all six
and say this passed for entertainemnt when i was a kid. and when i was a young adult.

they will think i am weird cause i hate their interactive jedi academy MMORPG -VR soap opera thing. but who knows.

i hate for this to sound like a flame/ but this is why i am not posting anonymously. i odnt wnat toth

This is why I love Smith (sort of spoilers)

[jayhawk88]

...or he's engaged in a balls-to-the-wall lightsaber duel in the Senate with Yoda, his "Little, green friend" (his words, not mine - which I kinda dug, because, interestingly, I think it's the first time anyone's acknowledged that Yoda is green in any of the "Star Wars" flicks)...

Love his work or hate it, the man is unquestionably a true geek.

KS is a comic/si-fi geek though

[generalleoff]

This movie could be a stinking turd and KS is still going to say it kicked ass.

For those who want sarcasm...

[Scrameustache]

Kevin Smith liked it. He said he really liked it. [...] But let me reiterate. Kevin Smith is raving and drooling about this movie. My hopes have been suitably elevated.

So Kevin Smith, known fanboy, and in line to get the TV series writing job from Lucas, reviewed it and liked it? Well, I'm satisfied.

I'm sure if it sucked he would have objectively told us so, without fear of reprisal from his dark master!

Re:For those who want sarcasm...

[grumpygrodyguy]

So Kevin Smith, known fanboy, and in line to get the TV series writing job from Lucas, reviewed it and liked it?

"That's the worst idea since Greedo shooting first" -Kevin Smith

I'm sure if it sucked he would have objectively told us so, without fear of reprisal from his dark master!

You're probably right, it's the oldest trick in the book. Spend the first half of your career creating something genuine; spend the second half of your career cashing in on your fame and selling endorsements. Integrity, like fame, is fleeting.

A blowjob from one has-been to another

[Edmund Blackadder]

Imagine two people waist deep in a swamp. One of them tries to lift the other by the hair hoping that the other will eventually be able to lift him off. Meanwhile both of them tragically and comically keep sinking. This is what this review is like.

Both Smith and Lucas once made decent movies and then were completely destroyed by their egos which were much bigger than their talents. The moment of destruction for each of them came when they thought they knew marketing.

Lucas made some decent action flicks but then he reaslized that he made more money on toys than movies, so he decided "gee, why don't I substitute a three hour toy and video game commercial for my next movie". Never did he realize that people don't enjoy paying $10 to see a commercial.

I used to like Smith a lot because he made good movies about teenagers, something that is very rare. But then he too decided he knew about marketing. He decided to make "grown up" movies that are more "serious" and "intelligent" so he can target a bigger demographic and get more respect in hollywood. And then, when everybody told him point blanc that his movies suck, he said : "you are so immature, why don't you like my deep intelligent movies". SOrry Kevin your movies are not intelligent, they are fucking stupid. All he does is bring up controvercial subjects (lesbians!, race !, bitchy women !, that are lesbians!) that are guaranteed to get him press without having anything remotely intelligent to say about them. Don't get me started about the whole Ben-JLo thing. Smith pretended he was an innocent victim of that disaster (counting of course on Americanss' notoriously short memories). Well I am one American that remembers shit and let me tell Smith engineered the whole fucking thing himself and then scheduled 2 movies in a way so he can take advantage of it. (afterwards when the scope of the disaster was obvious to everyone, he rescheduled the movies so they don't open within the same two month period). There he goes again thinking he knows about marketing. Thinking that he can make a huge blockbuster movie by manipulating the public perception.

There is one thing about modern marketing -- if you are into it you must hate people. It is a requirement for the job. The premise of modern marketing is that people are dumb sheep whoose opinions can be molded like slabs of clay. And you can easily see from their movies how both Smith and Lucas hate their fans. Just watching their movies you see them talking down to you. Well George, Kevin people are sometimes not as stupid as you take them to be, and we tend to notice these things.

And now Lucas has very little credibility left (Smith essentially has none)so now Smith tries to make himself look better by attempting to lift Lucas out of the swamp. Ain't gonna happen -- I will never see either of your movies again. There are too many good movies nowadays to waste my time on you two.

Re:A blowjob from one has-been to another

[Anonymous Coward]

Bravo! I read your posting with The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again" playing the the background and thought it a great musical accompaniment.

Re:A blowjob from one has-been to another

[a_karbon_devel_005]

Lucas made some decent action flicks but then he reaslized that he made more money on toys than movies, so he decided "gee, why don't I substitute a three hour toy and video game commercial for my next movie". Never did he realize that people don't enjoy paying $10 to see a commercial.

A-fucking-men

Re:A blowjob from one has-been to another

[aaoc]

Can I get a witness!

TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS?!!!???

[Run4yourlives]

Can you say loser?

I though $13 was bad, sheesh.

Here's where I play Devil's advocate.

[game kid]

I think Lucas really did aim it at said 13-year-olds. The Episodes were childish and mediocre, yes, but now that those 13-year-olds have seen Ep. I (at 10) and Ep. II (at, of course, 13) they are now about 16 and are a bit ready to see what finally happens to the little blond kid just before he went all James Earl Jones on us.

I think Ep. III will profit from a nice convergence of the older fans (of the originals) with the younger guys who haven't seen Eps. IV-VI.

That is why (IMO) Lucas put in Jar Jar and started from Anakin's little-boy days. Not to appease the adults who wanted to know about Vader's past, but to attract new, much younger fans. Now that he's attracted an extra demographic and they have grown, he can tell all of us about the Anakin->Vader metamorphosis. He didn't aim Episode I or even II at you or anyone remotely similar. He wanted an extra fanbase/profit source. This time, I think, us older fans shall be pleased, since we have lower expectations from I and II. He'd better; it's his last decent chance to. That's what I see.

Re:Here's where I play Devil's advocate.

[H0ek]

...and when Anakin whacks Jar Jar's head off with a light saber, not only will all the adults in the room cheer with gusto, all the kids can finally say:

"Lucas! That bastard! He killed my childhood!"

Now that's art.

Re:Here's where I play Devil's advocate.

[kindbud]

That all sounds just like true believers' explanations for why God doesn't always answer prayers.

Re:Here's where I play Devil's advocate.

[EEBaum]

the younger guys who haven't seen Eps. IV-VI.

Isn't that considered child abuse in some states? Seeing 1-3 before 4-6, that is.

Re:Here's where I play Devil's advocate.

[Anonymous Coward]

It is really more a matter of "tone" and "texture" in the first two films in this new part of the trilogy being so light and weak.

When you start with the first trilogy (the ones we grew up on), being frankly... kind of "light" in tone; as in they really were not ALL that dark owing to the ratings system and the era. And when I say dark/light I am talking about the overall emotional mood of the piece.

And since the first trilogy was still pretty "light" emotionally and there really was not as big a feeling of of oppression and hopelessness in them, and they get progressively lighter as the battle shifts in favor of Luke and the rebellion...

You have to that the first two films of the new trilogy being even LIGHTER to scale with the first one. They have to be positively ultralight to reflect the golden era of the republic.

And now with story arc established and Anakin on his path... you can now in this much more liberal era.. do the birth of a monster chapter dark, pretty darn dark...

So all the haters were not looking at the films from the same perspective of the director, who has to match the tones and textures so everything scales right in the grand scheme of things.

Re:Here's where I play Devil's advocate.

[AussieVamp2]

And in the end Jar Jar died arms and legs flew side to side A lot of folks were jokin' at last that bloody Gungan's broken

Re:Here's where I play Devil's advocate.

[TheoMurpse]

Oh how I wish that was the lyrics in The Saga Begins .

"Sith" doesn't happen; "Sith" rules. -nt

[Anonymous Coward]

nt

Luke's and Leia's incestious relationship

[Anonymous Coward]

Indeed.

I still cringe at the budding romance between Luke and Leia in Episode 4 and 5 which was, hamhandedly, changed to something else in Episode 6.

This just in

[Anonymous Coward]

a preview to Star Wars 3.5 has just been Released

Calibrate the reviewer

[Sloppy]

"Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome.

That's encouraging. Now, please answer another question, Kevin: What did you think of The Phantom Menace? Was that fucking awesome too?

How much body does one need to be a JEDI?

[Sebastopol]

I thought the force was channeled by microscopic cellular components called midochloridians or something dumb.

Doesn't that mean Darth is weaker with fewer limbs? Or do all the cells pool into the brain? Or does it not matter how big it is, just how you use it?

Reminds me of Roman Polanski's "What right has my head to call itself me?"

Re:How much body does one need to be a JEDI?

[EEBaum]

Doesn't that mean Darth is weaker with fewer limbs?

Indeed. That's why he doesn't do any acrobatics in IV-VI.

Doesn't address the real issue

[Khelder]

I appreciate seeing Kevin Smith's comments. I think he's a great writer and director.

However, his review didn't encourage me much about the quality of RotS because it didn't address the big flaw the other two had: the writing. Sure, he said RotS was dark^n for a really big n, but dark doesn't automatically = good.

To me the big dramatic element overarching eps. 1-3 is this little innocent kid becoming *Darth Vader*, one of the biggest, baddest villians ever. And based on how it was handled in eps 1 and 2, I have little confidence that it will be handled well in ep 3.

And the fact that ep 3 has really cool lightsaber duels, special effects, etc., is definitely a plus, but basically irrelevant to whether I'll see the movie. Nowadays, there's good special effects lots of places.

Sigh, please dont sing praise of ROTJ

[Sark666]

I don't know how old some of you are but here is my view of Star Wars way back when.

I saw a New Hope when I was 7 in 1977. I was taken away to a new world and couldn't get enough. I saw it 10 times in it's original run.

Then I saw empire at age 10 and this was the first time I was obsessed with a movie. I saw empire 34 times in it's original run. Yes, I'm not joking 34 damn times. This was my best theatre experience of my childhood.

Then ROTJ came along when I was 13. I saw this once, yes just once. George killed a part of my childhood that day. What's wrong with ROTJ? Hmm lemme think. Well, stupid ewoks, stupid ewoks making the storm troopers look dumber than ever, Jim Hensen influence, Bobba Fett being killed three stooges style with the gayest scream ever (I believe the wilhem scream), this crabby sounding emperor instead of the one I knew from empire (yes I've grown used to him and like him now just not then) seeing Vader face. etc. I could go on and on.

I still think ROTJ is the worst of the lot. Yes, EP 1 is pretty bad, but it gave me what I consider one of the best fights in any film ever (maul of course) and EP II is not that bad, or as bad as everyone makes it out to be.

There comes ..

[Anonymous Coward]

There comes a point in mans life when a decision must be made. Given a choice preview Starwars episode 3 or marry the woman of your dreams? Oddly, after reading this review I learned, I have a huge erection for both, and it would be a difficult decision, indeed!

Ok...

[yoshi_mon]

Who is stealing from who? When in doubt, make it dark.

Carmak: Doom III
Lucas: Star Wars Ep III

Pull up your pants.

[solios]

Yes. Kevin Smith likes it. Not Kevin Smith, Maker Of Clerks and Mall Rats and so forth.

Kevin Smith, Lifelong Star Wars Fanboi. Remember how much of Clerks was various characters talking about Star Wars?

Yeah.

Guy who LOVES Star Wars LOVES Episode III.

Hardly a glowing endorsement. I'm more interested in what Ridley Scott thinks - especially since he isn't Rumored To Direct an SW tv series.

Re:Pull up your pants.

[squiggleslash]

In fairness, people who loved Star Wars didn't, generally, like Episodes I and II. (or VI for that matter. EMACS is better.) So it is news that a prominent one likes III.

Re:Pull up your pants.

[Anonymous Coward]

In fairness, people who loved Star Wars didn't, generally, like Episodes I and II.

But Kevin Smith DID like them.

Re:READ IT!!! Bah...

[Meagermanx]

I wholehartedly agree. Nothing can stand up to the best three films in the series: Star Wars: A New Hope, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, and Star Wars: The Ewok Adventure.

None Shall Pass...

[fuzznutz]

the jaw-dropping Anakin/Obi Wan fight on Mustafar (where - after cutting his legs and arm off, Ben leaves Skywalker

Did he mention anything about it being merely a flesh wound?

Re:None Shall Pass...

[3.5 stripes]

Jesus christ people, it's FUNNY!

Not insightful.

wow... no spoiler space at all...

[advocate_one]

straight in with the spoilers right in para 1... you bastard...

Yes, we now have a real villain... and it's not Jar-Jar...

Re:wow... no spoiler space at all...

[dmaxwell]

Yes, we now have a real villain... and it's not Jar-Jar...

I said in an earlier post that I won't be spending any money on this one. I could change my mind if Jar-Jar gets to spend lovingly detailed time with an interrogation droid. The droid can start with a little tongue pulling and work its way up to drugging, burning, and dismemberment.

"Oh NO!!! Not Meesa's testicles!!!!!!" zzzzzzzzzzzaaaaaaappp!

Maybe

[KipCas]

He might be trying to work out the ethical issues raised by the following while he's at it...

"My friend here is trying to convince me that any independent contractors who were working on the uncompleted Death Star, were innocent victims when they were destroyed by the Rebels."

-Clerks

Forced orgasms

[Anonymous Coward]

Was there electricity and forced orgasms involved? If not, I'm not going to bother watching it, you know.

Re:Forced orgasms

[Anonymous Coward]

how the fuck can one have "forced orgasms"?

Re:Forced orgasms

[Anonymous Coward]

ask my cock.

No he doesn't...

[raehl]

Lucas brought in Rick Berman. Obi Wan's ship gets stuck in a temporal rift and gets hurled into the future, where he learns what Annakin turns into. Fortunately, Han Solo is able to rig R2D2's memory system to Obi Wan's ship's power drive and generate a relnaran field, sending the ship back in time so that Obi Wan can make sure to finish off Anakin, altering the timeline so that he never becomes Darth Vader at all.

Let me get this straight...

[Paradox]

So, you came into a thread about a rave review for Star Wars Episode III. A review by Kevin Smith, Lifeling Star Wars Fanboi.

And you didn't expect a certain degree of fandom to emerge?

This just in, Kevin Smith fans are excited over his review of the new Star Wars movie. Grumpy Slashdotters are baffled.

Re:Spoiler - Han Shoots First explained.

[rainman_bc]

So since when did Lucas enlist Rick Bermann to help write Episode 3?

I believe the GP was being sarcastic, taking a stab at Berman's piss-poor writing abilities, and how most of us Trek fans are really, really, really sick of time travel plotlines, and how Berman has no respect for the universe he's writing too (Klingon's, timeline continuity)

i don't care how the movie looks

[oogoody]

Anakin becoming vader is not an interesting story. The first movies started at the real beginning. These movies are just backstory and they look it.

Wookies are NOT Apes!

[Anonymous Coward]

They are genetically-engineerd, bipedal golden retreivers.

Actually, that's a very good example.

[khasim]

You already know that the ship will sink and that lots of people die and some people survive.

Yet they managed to cram a whole movie into it. A movie that lots of people liked and saw lots of times.

Yet from the "review", this movie is nothing more than links between ep#2 and ep#4. There is no movie.

WHY does Annie hack the kids up with lightsaber?

This is the THIRD movie in the SERIES yet Annie still has no motivation. He is a one dimensional character. Vader had more dimensions in ep#4-6 and he had to display them while wearing a mask and armour.

Re:Actually, that's a very good example.

[CaptainAvatar]

WHY does Annie ... (spoiler deleted)

Oh, nice, thanks for THAT spoiler. Sure, the way the story is told is far more important, overall, especially in the long run. But there's a certain amount of pleasure to be gained from being suprised upon seeing something for the first time. If you don't understand that, fine, but there's no need to spoil it for the rest of us.

Re:Actually, that's a very good example.

[Flower]

WHY does Annie hack the kids up with lightsaber?

You get forced to sing "the sun will come out tomorrow!" every night for a few years straight and see if you don't hack up a kid or two.

There still are spoilers...

[MixmastaKooz]

But the spoiler is explaining HOW (and WHY) those events you described happens! We know WHAT happens and now we will see a lot of the HOW and WHY in ROTS. And Kevin reveals a lot about the HOW (like command 66 or something) and WHY: in my book, that's a spoiler!

Re:There still are spoilers...

[acvh]

spoiler? I thought that information wants to be free... so how can free information be considered as anything other than good?

Re:Read his "review" again.

[Steepe]

Oh... My.... Gawd.

That has GOT, without a doubt to be the stupidest thing I have ever read in my entire life, and I feel my IQ temporarily dropped 10 points for having read your comment.

Did any of that ramble make any sense?

You are complaining because he linked 3 with 4? thats what THIS FUCKING MOVIE IS SUPPOSE TO DO YOU MORONIC RETARD.

Why did anakin kill the kids? BECAUSE THEY WERE FREAKING JEDI. why was he personally responsible? HE'S THE VILLAN. and probably the only one with the force at the moment, devinately the only one who could have gotten into the council, (storm troupers couldn't have at that point.)

Please don't watch the movie. Just let it go. I agree the first two were not the greatest movies in the world, but for all the horseshit you are spreading around you would think they were gigli or something. and my kids like them, aged 11 and 12, right at the age when those movies should appeal to them.

Get over yourself.

Your confusing "acting" with "story hole".

[khasim]

He never says that he doesn't remember them, he says something to the effect of "I don't remember ever owning any droids." And that is technically true, as he never owned them (or any others as far as the films show).

And that would be acceptable if the story somehow depended upon him hiding the facts in a technical truth.

But it doesn't.

Ben (Annie's old MENTOR) rescues Annie's SON who is accompanied by the droid that Annie BUILT and another droid from Ben's past when he fought and almost KILLED Annie.

And the only reaction Ben shows is ... none.

No interest in HOW that particular droid got there.

No concern that a droid built by a planet destroying maniac with a personal grudge against him just showed up on his doorstep.

Seeing the kid isn't something new. Ben knew that Luke was there and why.

Seeing C3PO AND R2D2 show up SHOULD have caused a reaction.

EVERY
JEDI
KILLED (except 2)

Yet no reaction. None at all.

Here, let me give you a movie scenario and you can fill in the emotion.

Back in our hero's past, he had fought against the bad guy and the bad guy had killed all of our hero's family. Our hero knows the car the bad guy drives. Our hero rescued the bad guy's kid and hid him away in another city.

Then, one day, the kid shows up at our hero's apartment in the city. Our hero looks outside and sees ... THAT VERY SAME CAR ...

Our hero says ....

==========

Right. The ENTIRE dialogue sequence is wrong in ep#4 when you've seen ep #1-3.

That's just like the old "parsec" non-explanation.

Re:Your confusing "acting" with "story hole".

[(H)olyGeekboy]

No interest in HOW that particular droid got there.

What's your proof he knew it was the same droid?

Protocol droids seemed pretty common, there were ohers seen in the original rilogy, were there not?

Re:Your confusing "acting" with "story hole".

[michaeldot]

Ben (Annie's old MENTOR) rescues Annie's SON who is accompanied by the droid that Annie BUILT and another droid from Ben's past when he fought and almost KILLED Annie. And the only reaction Ben shows is ... none.

Here's another take...

Droids are a dime a dozen in the Star Wars universe. They are mass produced shells into which commodity robotics are placed. One droid with XYZ covering looks pretty much like another with XYZ covering.

Ben didn't have to know that this droid was C3PO, when he could have been C4QP, C5RQ, C6SR, C7TS, etc, etc.

(Just as if you'd showed me my 1995 PowerBook in amongst a thousand others I'd be able to pick it out.)

Also, if you look at Alec Guinness's expression, it IS slightly thoughtful... as if to suggest "These machines look similar to others I've seen... I wonder."

Okay, I agree George Lucas had no idea at the time that he'd be backstorying Kenobi and connecting him to the droids, but I don't see it as a gaping story hole.

Re:Your confusing "acting" with "story hole".

[EEBaum]

Don't worry. Your concerns will be fixed in the Double Trilogy Six-Pack DVD Set, due out in 2008, shortly before the scene where Han Solo sings a duet with holographic Leia about the joys of friendship.

Re:Your confusing "acting" with "story hole".

[Londovir]

I can certainly read and understand what you're thinking about that, but it does fit in quite a bit with the characterization of Obi-Wan from the novelization.

Yes, I read the novelization before seeing the movie. To me, I didn't feel that I was spoiling anything as another poster upthread said because we all know what happens. Plus, I like going in to the movie ahead of time with a rough outline of the story because I can keep an eye out of the artistic differences between the two versions. (Not to mention that, in the inevitable case of having to relieve myself of the Uber-Big Gulp soda, I know exactly when boring conversation will be onscreen that I can dispense with.)

Anyway, the book goes to great lengths illustrating that Obi-Wan's Jedi training and nature allow him to remain emotionally distant from things that occur around him. There are plenty of cases in the book when a "normal" person would be stricken with grief, despair, terror, surprise, etc, and Obi-Wan takes it in stride, confident in the Force and his ability to serve as a channel for the Force. (Chapter 15 comes to mind, particularly)

Given that, I don't think it's so amazing to see Obi-Wan fail to react to the droids presence in Ep4. Obi-Wan's deep faith in the Force is enough that, as Yoda hints in the novel, the Force will bring them all together when the time is right. He probably looked at both droids and thought, "Welp, it's a sign from the Force, let's roll." I mean, seriously, think about the confluence of coincidence that brought the droids to Tatooine in the first place. Shoot, the droids were with Leia (there's more detail there in the book which has been already mentioned elsewhere on here, but I won't repeat, which explains Threepio's memory loss), on the other side of the galaxy practically, and just happened to be flying over Tatooine when the ship was attacked, just happened to crash on Tatooine, just happened to be collected by the Jawas, just happened to be sold to Luke when the original droid he bought just happened to crap out on delivery, etc. If that's not the Force orchestrating everything (in Obi-Wan's mind) I don't know what is.

And, just so you know, the one time that Obi-Wan did have a major emotional reaction was when he discovered how many and how some of the Jedi were killed. And even then, Yoda bitch-slaps him a bit for his reaction, and he recovers.

It's all good. Admittedly to our common sense it seems like crap, but it's covered with a reasonable backstory once you read the novel.

Best,
Londovir

PS All the "This is xxxxx at this moment" in the novel get a little old, though...read it and you'll see what I mean...

Re:Your confusing "acting" with "story hole".

[obeythefist]

You're making assumptions here. I know it's painful, but I must ask you to watch I and II again, you missed an important detail.

In episode I, Obi Wan never leaves the ship, and C-3P0 stays on the planet. They do not meet. We do not see any dialog that has Anakin explain to Obi-Wan that he built a droid.

In episode II, Obi Wan does not set foot on Tattooine and does not see C-3P0 there. C-3P0 companies Anakin and Amidala to the Genosia, but Obi Wan never sees C-3P0 there either, nor is there any dialog in the film about Anakin discussing C-3P0 with Obi Wan.

Therefore, in Episode III, we do see that C-3P0 is working for Amidala, but we do not see any interaction so far between Obi Wan and C-3P0. Let's assume Lucas does the same thing in Episdoe III with regards to Obi-Wan and the droids. On what basis then do you determine that Obi-Wan and C-3P0 are best buddies? Speculation?

Now, we do know that Obi-Wan has at least seen R2-D2 with both Amidala and Anakin, and he knows that R2-D2 belongs to Amidala. However, when R2-D2 is introduced, there were 4 other very similar droids in the same scene! Also, that kind of droid is undoubtedly the most common type seen in any of the movies. It is plausible that Obi-Wan wouldn't immediately recognise the droid, and even if he does, he doesn't spend a whole lot of time in a position to chat about it with Luke. He's more like, "Well we're stuck on the Death Star and I have an inkling from the force I'm gonna die soon" (your destiny lies upon a different path from mine) so he wasn't about to pop out with "Hey man, I knew your mum, she had a droid kinda like that one once, maybe."

Re:Your confusing "acting" with "story hole".

[Legion303]

"Yet no reaction. None at all."

Well that's an easy one to answer. Given Anakin's completely flawless poker-face (some might even say wooden) through Episode 2, I'd guess that Jedi are trained to not show any emotional responses.

It's either that or shitty acting, or perhaps lack of foresight in the script. Take your pick.

Re:Your confusing "acting" with "story hole".

[Jakeypants]

You're confusing "your" with "you're."

Re:Your confusing "acting" with "story hole".

[aaoc]

I am not a big fan of reading books that try to fill in the gaps from movies. I think it should be the responsibility of the production team to ensure that there is continuity.

Grrr

[NanoGator]

Well, I don't want spoilers so I didn't RTFA. I have a question though: Did he despise Episodes I and II? If he didn't, then I don't give a flying mynock what he thinks of Ep3.

Thank you

[Rune Berge]

for bringing my expectations back down again. The lower they get, the better!

Watch a real movie.

[khasim]

That has GOT, without a doubt to be the stupidest thing I have ever read in my entire life, and I feel my IQ temporarily dropped 10 points for having read your comment.

Well then I am very sorry because if there's one person on this planet that cannot handle a 10 point drop in IQ, it is you.

You are complaining because he linked 3 with 4? thats what THIS FUCKING MOVIE IS SUPPOSE TO DO YOU MORONIC RETARD.

No, the complaint is about HOW he linked them.

Go watch Titanic. The ship goes out, hits an iceberg and sinks. Some people live, many die.

Yet, while linking those incidents, the writer, director and producer manage to tell a WHOLE STORY. They fit a whole movie in between those incidents.

Yet the great George Lucas can't do that even when he controls the incidents.

Why did anakin kill the kids? BECAUSE THEY WERE FREAKING JEDI.

And THAT is the kind of mentality that will think this movie is "awesome".

Yes, they were Jedi.
But they were also KIDS.

Killing an adult Jedi in combat is one thing. But being able to slaughter a bunch of kids takes a different personality. I'm probably wasting my time on this subject with you, but you might want to look up "age of consent" and "juvy" and "tried as an adult". Our culture has very different rules for children and adults.

why was he personally responsible? HE'S THE VILLAN.

Great. How many HOURS has Lucas had to develop Annie as the bad guy and the best he can do is "HE'S THE VILLAN".

That just about defines "piss poor" right there.

Please don't watch the movie.

You don't have to plead.

I agree the first two were not the greatest movies in the world, but for all the horseshit you are spreading around you would think they were gigli or something.

"not the greatest movies in the world".

They sucked dog shit. Just accept that. You're a fan-boy and that colours your perception of anything Lucas does.

and my kids like them, aged 11 and 12, right at the age when those movies should appeal to them.

"those movies".

Yet the original Star Wars appealed to children AND adults.

Did you miss that? Children AND adults.

ANYONE can make a movie that appeals to 11 & 12 year olds. ANYONE

Get over yourself.

That's pretty funny coming from someone who hasn't progressed beyond the level of his own kids.

Don't hate me because I understand continuity or production or storylines. Just go back to your GI Joe cartoons and 1 dimensional characters and consider yourself lucky.

Vader showed more dimensions in ep#4-6 than in 1-3 and that is what makes those movies so much better than the current crap.

Re:Watch a real movie.

[AussieVamp2]

bloody hell let's see Darth and Moffy babes build a planet killer blow up a planet to make a point you reckon a bit of slice young long pig going to worry them? fair chance that there be one or two youthfulesque personages on said planets?

Mod Up!

[Anonymous Coward]

This is where you can see how his tastes are...

bah

[Anonymous Coward]

Kevin Smith's cinematic mission is to validate the Madonna/Whore complex. As such, his opinion doesn't hold much weight with me.

Just look at history...

[JAHA]

...and you'll see KS's review of Phantom Menace was positive as well. I think if it had been a negative review it'd be something to consider, but a positive review isn't really worth much from him. Even more so considering he might work with Lucas in future.

Jersey Girl

[nuggz]

Whats to apologize for.
It was a different type of movie.

It wasn't horrible, just different then the rest.

Re:Read his "review" again.

[Anonymous Coward]

i think gigli had more entertainment value than phantom menace. granted, it wasn't intended...

Major Spoiler Alert!

[WillAffleckUW]

Anakin becomes Darth Vader!

Leia and Luke are twin babies of Anakin and are snuck away to separate locations far far from home.

Anakin falls into a volcano - but lives - barely.

And Yoda gets arthritis.

Ok, I made that last one up ...

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!

[Krater76]

And I'm supposed to believe a review from a guy who said 'Gigli' wasn't that bad. Because of what he said my wife and I rented it and - are you ready? - watched the entire movie.

It was bad. Not the worst movie I have ever seen, but definitely bottom 5. I have seen A LOT of movies. Enough said about that.

Thinking a Kevin Smith review is going to be objective would be like thinking a Win XP review done by Bill Gates is going to be objective. Smith is a fanboy and as poor a storyteller as Lucas.

Mind you, I liked Clerks, Mallrats, and thought Chasing Amy was his best. Dogma was good, but come on, Jay and Silent Bob was sophomoric and Jersey Girl was plain and boring. Kevin Smith is nothing special. The only difference between him and everyone else on /. is he got lucky with 1 movie and it has made his career. I really wonder how he can still make movies since all the ones he makes are medium-budget flops. After worldwide release JASBSB and Jersey Girl were flops. Only Dogma made a profit (8 mil profit). Don't know about the earlier - boxofficemojo.com doesn't have the production costs on those.

Funny thing is I loved Star Wars 4/5/6; you could even call me a fanboy. Same thing with Clerks/Mallrats/Chasing Amy - fanboy. Now both franchises only get a passing glance from me.

That said, yes, I am going to see it but I'm not excited about it when, if the franchise hadn't let me down, I should be. But it's just going to be another summer action movie like all the others and while that's fine, people get all bent out of shape expecting more.

In the words of Chaka Luther King...

[jpellino]

"I think George Lucas gonna sue somebody!"

(given the spoilers)

Astroturfing? If it were some studio toady writing on Amazon then yeah, but it's Kevin H. Smith fer crying out loud. I trust his judgement on film, given his talent for writing, directing and his eye for good cinema. Given his background, Star Wars films doubly so.

Award time

[BorgCopyeditor]

Kevin Smith, the well-known actor/director

Someone get that boy a Slashie.

Only one problem, Kev

[kindbud]

I don't care anymore to find out how Anakin became Darth Vader. So it is really irrelevant how "dark" it is. It's only "dark" if you care about the characters, and the first two "prequels" ruined them. I don't really give a flip.

Why do geeks like Kevin Smith so much?

[Anonymous Coward]

This isn't meant to be flamebait. I really, really want to understand this. I don't think Kevin Smith's fans are idiots -- taste being subjective and all that -- but I do think the guy himself is a twit.

Kevin Smith is, in my opinion, one of the most overrated directors there is. People are quick to point out how unique and funny his dialogue is. Personally, I find it banal. It's usually two people trying to explain outlandish things to each other using stilted (ie: unreal) phrasing mixed in with cuss words. Whenever I watch his movies I'm convinced his actors aren't sure what they're saying half the time. Matt Damon and Alan Rickman handled it well, but mediocre to poor actors like Ben Affleck, Chris Rock, Jason Lee, etc. look plain awful. Their dialogue is so ridiculous that they look like fools if they believe it, or idiotic sockpuppets if they don't.

Plus, there's Dogma. One huge problem with satire is that it's the one refuge of comedy for people with no sense of humour. I'm not saying all satire is devoid of humour, it's just that, so often, people with no sense of humour try to do satire, and when people point out that it stinks, the artist can simply say, "Oh well, you're not getting it. It's SATIRE." Cop-out. Life of Brian is a religious satire. Dogma is a turd.

And even in the write-up for this article, he's described as a director/actor. ACTOR?!? The guy has spoken maybe a half-dozen lines of dialogue on-screen in his life, and his facial expression reperatoire consists of either opening his eyes wide or squinting them narrow.

Look, I got Clerks. It's a crude independent movie about slackers. Great. I liked Chasing Amy. It was a little weird at the end with Ben Affleck wanting that 3-way, but it had a couple of moments of genuine emotion in there. But the rest of his movies bite, and bite HARD.

I guess the standard response is, "If you hate his movies, don't watch them." The problem is that so many of my friends say "I know, I know, but you'll like THIS one." Not wanting to be mean to my friends, I watch it. And invariably I'm disappointed.

And yet so many geeks still love him. Why the hell is that?

Re:Why do geeks like Kevin Smith so much?

[kin_korn_karn]

Kevin Smith has a following because there are a shitload of guys out there that are both turned on and intimidated by their girlfriends' sexual histories. Every one of his movies that I've seen has this as a major story arc.

What a dweeb

[Snaller]

If you don't like the film you must be lying - impressive logic.

Kevin missed the best tie-in

[GermanShorthair]

"The last fifteen minutes dovetail nicely into Episode 4 (or just plain "Star Wars" for you non-geeks), and the movie is full of link-up moments as well." 1977 hair, MA-AN! Everyone's got a pancake-combed, ear-covering quoff, right? RIght?

If you care about Kevin Smith's opinion, that is.

[runlvl0]

Is he honestly going to tell us if this movie sucks?

I wonder what his reviews of Jersey Girl would've sounded like? Besides, isn't he taking the Lucasesque step of raping his own franchise by revisiting Clerks (The Passion of the Clerks) after closing the books on his "Askewniverse"?

Of course, I'm just bitching about movies on the internet, so what do I know? Embrace the mechanical spider.

was just given a bundle of $$$ by Lucas..

[Anonymous Coward]

Lucas is now backing a weekly "Clone Wars" cartoon. The maker of the cartoon? Kevin Smith.

Do you expect any ability to see clearly from him?

Han shot first, end of story.

Re:Spoiler - Han Shoots First explained.

[PeterChenoweth]

Exactly!

Kevin Smith: the "Dirt Devil"

[rinkjustice]

Why nickname Kevin Smith the "dirt devil"? Because that was the biggest suck up, kiss-ass movie review I have ever read in my life! Legendary!

I wish people would stop defending this ill written piece of trash advert and extolling Kevin's mediocrity.

I bet all of you $10 bucks

[SwItCH_LiVEs]

I haven't seen this yet, so I bet you all Han Solo will make an apperance.

Sorry, Chewbaka, c3p0, r2d2, etc etc. have been in 1-2. Let us see who is right, and wrong. ;)

Re:I bet all of you $10 bucks

[SwItCH_LiVEs]

Ok, not chewbacca, but we all know he will be in Ep3.

I wouldn't worry about it...

[TheoMurpse]

Of course, I'm just bitching about movies on the internet, so what do I know?

Of course, this is hardly Poopchute.com

Comic Book Guy Syndrome

[Anonymous Coward]

I personally don't understand the "Comic Book Guy" (as in The Simpsons) mentality in regards to Star Wars prequels.

What social value do people think they gain in trying to prove to others that they will never watch something becuase they already "know" it will suck? Do they really think that anyone cares about their opinion on something they readily admit that they are not even going to see? Are they so full of themselves that they think they are doing some kind of public service to share their prejudicial opinions?

They are not proving anything, except that they are pretentious, irrational, egocentric jerks.

Or perhaps the people who do this are just putting up the facade of "ubercynic" in order to build up a reputation, so when they do find something they consider worthwhile, people will think, "wow the ubercynic likes it, it must really be good". Thereby, giving this person more credibility than most people.

In this case, it is just a game of social engineering.

Seriously though, this routine is getting quite old, and I wish people would more frequently call these "Comic Book Guys" on their irrationality and/or social game-playing.

If you're going to spontaneously create opinions out of an intellectual vacuum about a movie you haven't seen or don't intend to see, just keep them to yourself, Thank You Very Much.