Domain: goatse.cx
Stories and comments across the archive that link to goatse.cx.
Comments · 12,559
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IMPORTANT - The Linux Gay Conspiracy!
It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.
What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:
- Linus Torvalds is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
- Richard M. Stallman, spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
- Alan Cox is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.
I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.
Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'
As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.
And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!
Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:
'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'
Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?
We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.
Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.
In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.
Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.
And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.
The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.
The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously
/anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.
Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!
Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.
The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!
The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.
And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.
To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'
FEEDBACK
What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.
You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!
you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus, Slashdot
Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.
ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.
Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h, Slashdot
Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!
dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.
Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.
And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee, Slashdot
Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'
One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'
And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?
Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase, Slashdot
Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.
That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.
However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)
In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.
Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???
If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!
It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.
As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.
I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.
Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
What the fuck?
I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
Well bugger me!
ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
Fuck right off!
IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.
Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.
Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.
Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?
Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.
ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!
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Photo
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6th post
Ashanti was having a very hard night after losing to that hot bitch Shakira
in the MTV awards for best new female artist. At the after party she was
talking to another fellow loser to Shakira, Alicia Keys. She couldn't help
herself and kept looking over Alicia's hot body. She was getting wet just
thinking about the things she would do to the young artist. She was in a
daze looking at her fat ass as she bent over to get some punch when Shakira
came over to her. Shakira the stupid bitch that beat her out came over to
congratulate her on her nomination. Ashanti would've probably slapped her
silly if she wasn't already horny as hell from looking at Alicia. All she
could do was look at her tight stomach and pert little nipples showing
threw her two piece leather outfit. "You are a very good singer" said
Shakira . "I have your CD and I love that song "Baby" she said.
"Thank you" said Ashanti.
"Maybe we should get together sometime." She said.
This sent Ashanti's emotions wild she couldn't help herself anymore, she
had to fuck now!! She left the scene and Shakira thought she had upset her
so she followed. Ashanti got up to her sweet and pulled down her thong and
start to masturbate with her dress still on. She ferociously fingered
herself while thinking of licking Shakira's Latin pussy and getting eaten
by Alicia from behind. Just then the door slid open...
"Need some help?" said Shakira. "I usually use two fingers and work my way
up." she said.
Shakira had wanted to taste her hot pussy since she saw her in "Always on
Time" she wanted this more then Ashanti could've guessed. Shakira walked
over to the young singer and smacked her fat ass. She rolled Ashanti on her
back, leaned over to kiss her and slipped her hand up her dress. She
pulled and pinched at her nipples and shoved her tongue into her
mouth. Ashanti blindly tugged at Shakira's tight leather pants she wanted
her now. She tugged hard but couldn't get them off so Shakira figured she
could help again. She stood up and pulled down her tight pants revealing
her black lace thong. She continued her little strip show by pulling off
her leather top finally giving her hard nipples some air. She turned around
and slowly pulled the thong out of her ass and dropped it to the floor.
"Now take that dress off and lay on the bed." She said
Ashanti did what her fuck partner said and laid down legs spread. Shakira
walked over to the edge of the bed kneeled down and began to tease Ashanti
by licking around her navel and her thighs. Ashanti cooed with
anticipation, she wanted her now. Shakira went in for the kill; she dove in
to her hot lover's pussy and devoured her clit. Ashanti was already about
to cum; the masturbation made her close but it was really seeing her snatch
being eaten by the Latin beauty that really put her over the edge.
Shakira, meanwhile, ferociously licked at her new found lover's cunt. LINUX IS FOR GAYS. Her
own pussy dripped with her juices, she wanted Ashanti to cum now so she
could have her pussy licked, too. Shakira added a finger in her cunt and
started to finger fuck her brains out. Ashanti couldn't take it anymore,
her juices flowed out like Niagara Falls, and Shakira licked up every drop.
"OH YEAH, FUCK MY TIGHT CUNT, FUCK IT BABY, FUCK IT!!" Ashanti screamed.
Shakira did just that and kept fucking and sucking her lover until her
orgasm was over. She pulled her fingers out of her pussy and made her taste
her own juices. Then she kissed her full on the lips. Ashanti got up and
went to her dresser opened a drawer and pulled out her strap on.
"It's your turn now." Ashanti said. She bent Shakira over on the bed. She
guided it toward her pussy. "Where do you want it baby?" she asked.
"Fuck my tight ass!" Shakira exclaimed kind of surprising Ashanti.
But surprised or not Ashanti did just that. She shoved it in her ass and
held on to her back. She laid her head down on the bed and used her hand to
finger her pussy. Ashanti hammered away on her hot Latin ass and reached
behind herself and fingered her own ass with one finger while rubbing her
cunt with another.
"Smack my ass that gets me horny as hell." Shakira said. "And fuck me
harder, I love it fast baby." She added.
Ashanti did just that, she smacked her ass after every other stroke of the
dildo in Shakira's ass. She was riding Shakira like a pony. She was also
having a great time finger fucking her own ass and rubbing her pussy.
"O YEAH, HERE I CUM." Shakira said. "C'MON FUCK ME, FUCK MY ASS, FUCK IT
HARDER, HARDER!" She screamed.
Ashanti pounded her ass with all her might. Within a few strokes Shakira
came.
"Now lick my pussy, please lick my pussy Ashanti, I love how you fuck me."
Moaned Shakira.
Ashanti bent down and lapped up her partners juices. She sucked her clit,
which was as big as could be, and it was clear that she didn't want it to
be over yet. She licked her pussy lips and licked up to her ass. She rolled
Shakira over and mounted her face.
"Mmmmm... I think I love you." Shakira said.
"Then eat me!" Ashanti responded.
Then, as if trying to devour a huge steak dinner, they dove into each
others snatch. There was no teasing this time they both wanted to
fuck. Since both of their clits were huge and swollen it didn't take long
until they were both moaning with pleasure again. They both insert a finger
into each others pussy and finger fucked each other till they both
climaxed.
Shakira looked over at Ashanti "We should do this more often." she said
grabbing her tight ass.
"Yeah at least twice a day." She said.
Part of a complete breakfast -
Stop trying to fuck pumpkin headed screamers !!!!!
Keep whacking off to the blue-haired freaks and you'll end up like these losers!!!!
Stop it! You're gonna end up taping your dick between your legs if you dont get offa those goddamn pumpkin heads, you freaks! Look out! You're gonna end up like this guy and have to find a helluva psychiatrist to fix you!!!!
If you keep wanting to fuck a 2D cartoon, youre gonna even end up like this sick fuck, or this sick fuck!!!
Keep it up, and you'll end up in prison where you'll meet Bubba and he'll turn you into this sick fuck you sick fucks!!!!!!!
Stop it!!
Sincerely,
A. Lincoln
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hmm
How about open anuses on the web? I think I left my anus open.
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In a related story...
SLA activist Patty Hearst publicly announced her overwhelming support for Sendo's decision.
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Re:Assembly?
Hey, you pink-skirted anus-loving cum-guzzling crackwhore, why the FUCK would you use a TI-83? And why the fuck are you trying to program it? Don't you FUCKING have anything better to do with your time, you spastic fuckwit?
Texas Intruments isn't worthy to kiss my white ass. Their calculators are shit and their users are FUCKING immature lamers who need to be dragged into the streets and beat with baseball bats.
So get a motherfucking life before you come on Crapdot whining about how you can't play games on your calculator in class. YOU ARE A LOSER. It's losers like you who in five years are going to be living in FUCKING vans down by the river.
Go shove your calculator up your FUCKING gaping ass, pay FUCKING attention in class, take a FUCKING shower, and get a FUCKING girlfriend, you stupid smelly lunix-loving fuckstick. It's a shame here in America we can't just drag you into the street and execute you for being a FUCKING leech on society. -
Re:Assembly?
Hey, you pink-skirted anus-loving cum-guzzling crackwhore, why the FUCK would you use a TI-83? And why the fuck are you trying to program it? Don't you FUCKING have anything better to do with your time, you spastic fuckwit?
Texas Intruments isn't worthy to kiss my white ass. Their calculators are shit and their users are FUCKING immature lamers who need to be dragged into the streets and beat with baseball bats.
So get a motherfucking life before you come on Crapdot whining about how you can't play games on your calculator in class. YOU ARE A LOSER. It's losers like you who in five years are going to be living in FUCKING vans down by the river.
Go shove your calculator up your FUCKING gaping ass, pay FUCKING attention in class, take a FUCKING shower, and get a FUCKING girlfriend, you stupid smelly lunix-loving fuckstick. It's a shame here in America we can't just drag you into the street and execute you for being a FUCKING leech on society. -
Re:Understaffing
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Re:'Shared source' legal death-trap
in-depth analysys
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x -
doom 3
The Doom 3 alpha is running on a new Tablet PC. Unbelievable screenshot.
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Re:FP
AC first post trolls kick ass!!
Keep on rockin' dude.
BBBLLLLAAAAZZZZZEEEE IIIIITTTTTT!!!!
4:20
It is so funny to go to goatse when you are totally baked. I couldn't stop laughing! Try it!! -
ANL?
You must be talking about this.
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Re:Connection timed out
until then, may I recommend www.goatse.cx for all your news requirements.
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That's not how they do things on Star Trek!
Everybody should freely share everything and love one another, like they do on Star Trek. The Federation has no need for money, even the warlike Klingon empire has advanced past the need for capitalism. Only the short, swarthy, large-nosed, devolved Ferengi use money.
Please read my fanfic about how the people of Star Trek freely share everything and love one another! -
Re:MASSIVE Anus?
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For once it's on-topic!
Notwithstanding the overuse of colons, this is a movie worth seeing
Not worth seeing is another misuse of a colon - a link which I would recommend against visiting to those fortunate enough to have escaped seeing it. Please don't click on the link, but allow the unfortunate of us to laugh knowingly (and nervously, with nausia at the memory). -
Hmm.1) Create electronic components using inferior metallics.
2) ???
3) PROFIT!
This troll brought to you by goatse. -
A match made in heaven...This guy needs a bung. Huh huh huh huh... he said BUNG.
I miss Beavis and Butthead. They WAY ruled over South Park.
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slashdotted
here is a mirror here
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Re:Whatever
Takes one to know one.... Go here softcock...
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v2.0
1) Imagine a beowulf cluster of these.
2) ...
3) PROFIT!!!!!!
w1nd0wz sUx0Rz!!!
(Random Ellen Feiss reference goes here). -
Re:I can suggest one reason why games fail...
Trolling beats UT2003 any day!
Visit my website: UT 2003 Goatse.cx Clan -
Re:More Oppfortunity For Hacker
My tagline reads:
It's much easier to mod me down than to post an intelligent reply.
An Anonymous Coward (aren't they all) wrote:
"Hmm, good point. I'll remember that next time i have mod points."
Well thank god you posted anonymously! Preserving those all-important karma points!!
The point is that it is much more useful to have dialogue than a knee-jerk "oh, I don't agree with you" moderation system because it gets abused. -1 no longer means "this is a bad post" so much as "I don't like what you had to say." I'm not sure it was ever anything else, really.
And really, at least try for the appearance of self-respect and just post as yourself. Is karma that important to you? It shouldn't be. Observe:
Hey! Someone with mod points! Here is a big fat link to some guy's torn-up asshole. Please mod this post down to prove that people should be more worried about saying what is on their mind than karmawhoring. Metamoderators, please disregard any -1 modding done to this post. It was requested.
And to the original AC, you're a nitwit. People like you are the reason the signal-to-noise ratio on Slash went to complete shit years ago. Thanks, much obliged. -
Re:Final Decree - before it gets slashdotted
Click "I agree" below to accept the terms of this Final Decree.
[I Agree] [I Do Not Agree] [Cancel][option not available]
P.S.
Don't tell me you actually thought not agreeing would turn out any better!
- -
Re:Final Decree - before it gets slashdotted
Click "I agree" below to accept the terms of this Final Decree.
[I Agree] [I Do Not Agree] [Cancel][option not available]
P.S.
Don't tell me you actually thought not agreeing would turn out any better!
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FUCK JERSEY
Look at this picture and a picture of anywhere in New Jersey, and tell me the difference. Oh, that's right, YOU CAN'T.
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Re:the replies to this post
You forgot:
1% - This important link -
Goat Sex Is Fun!
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Re:the replies to this post
Oops, wrong link. Try this one.
Note to the naive: don't click. Ever. I warned you. -
Re:Interesting. However...
Please insert your penis here to find out.
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Re:From the article:
Hmmmm... perhaps you may want to look here
-
Re:From the article:
Hmmmm... perhaps you may want to look here
-
Re:From the article:
Hmmmm... perhaps you may want to look here
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Re:first
Was ?
Warum war das nicht die Erste Goatse?
Bist du sicher ?
Nieman hätte das vor mir gemacht in diese Geschischte ? -
first
goatse !!!
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Re:I have come to the conclusion...I have too much (note I said much, not many) karma at the moment, and would like to burn some. Let it burn, baby burn!
Too much? Easily solved. Just post this link to Natalie Portman nude.. Works every time.
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shit, beaten again by FGP (first goatse post)
but i'm second.
ah, behold the power of goatse. -
slashdot moving...
to this URL. Make sure to update your bookmarks.
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Bad Idea
Now I know where you live. .
.
prepare to be goatse'd.
Your ass is mine!!! :) or maybe :o -
first goatse link post
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Re:FP?
Would you like a medal?
Get a fuckin life, fucktard. -
Official goatse link post for this article
here
From this article forward I demand at least one goatse link post per article. You have your assignment, now move out. -
fp
go to goatse you faegs
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Re:Change ISPs. guspaz the sugarbitch fucks ass
* g u s p a z . * F u c k s . c . A S S . c c c *
Red alert. Go to red alert. Fag alarm. This fucking vidiot sexless fat poor health bad physical condition racist fat ultra left wing nationalist asshole idiot is speaking
GcccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccG
Uc/ccccc\ccccccccccccc\cccccccccccc/cccc\cccccccU
S|ccccccc|ccccccccccccc\cccccccccc|cccccc|ccccccS
P|ccccccc`.ccccccccccccc|ccccccccc|ccccccc:cccccP
A`cccccccc|ccccccccccccc|cccccccc\|ccccccc|cccccA
Zc\ccccccc|c/ccccccc/cc\\\ccc--__c\\ccccccc:ccccZ
*cc\cccccc\/ccc_--~~cccccccccc~--__|c\ccccc|cccc*
Sccc\cccccc\_-~cccccccccccccccccccc~-_\cccc|ccccL
Ucccc\_ccccc\cccccccc_.--------.______\|ccc|ccccI
Ccccccc\ccccc\______//c_c___c_c(_(__>cc\ccc|ccccC
Kccccccc\ccc.ccCc___)cc______c(_(____>cc|cc/ccccK
Sccccccc/\c|cccCc____)/Guspaz\c(_____>cc|_/cccccS
*cccccc/c/\|cccC_____)_Ficks_|cc(___>ccc/cc\cccc*
Fccccc|ccc(ccc_C_____)\_ASS _/cc//c_/c/ccccc\cccM
Accccc|cccc\cc|__ccc\\_________//c(__/ccccccc|ccA
Tcccc|c\cccc\____)ccc`----ccc--'ccccccccccccc|ccN
*cccc|cc\_cccccccccc___\ccccccc/_cccccccccc_/c|cC
Cccc|cccccccccccccc/cccc|ccccc|cc\cccccccccccc|cH
Occc|ccccccccccccc|cccc/ccccccc\cc\ccccccccccc|cO
Cccc|cccccccccc/c/cccc|ccccccccc|cc\ccccccccccc|A
Kccc|ccccccccc/c/cccccc\__/\___/cccc|cccccccccc|D
ccc|ccccccccccc/cccccccc|cccc|ccccccc|ccccccccc|c
ccc|cccccccccc|ccccccccc|cccc|ccccccc|ccccccccc|c
c g u s p a z . . F u c k s . c . A S S c c c c c
GO TO RED ALERT. Space and Time are grinding to a halt.
Fucking idiot SHITSTAIN McGuspaz is speaking.
Fat man living off of government or with parents with no sex jerking off to pedophile porn and trolling Slashdot is speaking. WOOP WOOP.
Captain, people cant take much more of this shit. I'm giving it all shez got.
WOOP WOOP
The alien Guspaz, with his corpulent fat face and fronds of flash drooping over belly into cheap assed keyboard try is coming. He farted on the left nacelle!
- Should we fly up his ass to hide?
NO!!!!! That will massage his prostate, GUSPAZ likes anal pleasure, we must go to warp 69!
FAT SEXLESS GUSPAZ pursues the captain in a long brown skidmarking journey through space.
Fat fucking pig. Fat stupid. All Your Base Are Belong To Us was meant to be funny, its not the 11th commandment you dumb motherfucker.
FUCKING ASSHOLE ALARM. -
Re:And if you don't love GG Allin...
anyone wanna bet that gg allin was the goatse.cx man?
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Here it is
Here it is: a link to goatse.cx: Goatse Page. I am not lying, this is a link to a webpage with a picture of a man with a big hole. I would like for you to click this link while delusionally pretending that it is a link to something having to do with this headline. I am not lying. I would appreciate it if you clicked this link.
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hey hemos!
analyze this!
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URE ALL GAY!!!!!!!!
GEORGE BUSH IS A CHIMP SUCKER!!!!!!111ONE
AS DO ALL AMERICANS!!!!!!
GOATSE LINK!!!!!!111ONE
Yes, this is a troll. Well Done! -
Mod this up for Troll Tuesday! FPP!!!!!!??!!?
Posting The First aka YourMissionForToday theme song
To the Tune of Henry The Eighth (Herman's Hermits)
I'm posting the first I am
Posting the first I am I am
I got FP in the story before
I've been modded many times beforeAnd every time by an imbecile (IMBECILE!)
Usin' words like VAXen and GNU (FUCK GNU!)
Cause they hate to stop their circle jerks
To hear me say FUCK YOU! (FUCK GNU!)Second Verse is Different than the first:
I'm YourMissionForToday I am
Two posts a day is where I stand
Can't leave my wit at a high threshold
Cause I post links to a certain holeI get modded down due to jealousy (JEALOUSY!)
'Coz they wouldn't know wit from their ass! (FUCK THAT!)
I bathe, I can spell, and I'm employed!
I'm YourMissionForToday I am!