Slashdot Mirror
Handshake via the Internet
mattlamb writes "British and American scientists will touch using sensors over the internet. "The implications of the experiment could be vast, said UCL, which describes the event as the world's "first transatlantic handshake over the Internet." " Let the juvenile comedy
commence!
Porn Stocks Skyrocket!
(/local/home/curiosity)-#who -u|grep thecat|cut -c 44-49|xargs kill -9
Feelie-Pr0n is right around the corner! yea!
Moneyed corporations, non-working 'poor' and criminal prisoners are turning productive citizens into tax-slaves.
Somehow the idea of sex with 50ms latency doesn't sound so appealing...
say old chap, that's not my hand...
and thus teledildonics became a reality.
I'd like to propose that this be the only post with the word `pr0n', in any way, shape or fashion, in response to this article.
Yeah, right!
Karma: Marginal (mostly due to the border around the website)
"first transatlantic handshake over the Internet."
For a second there, it looked like it said "handjob". That would skyrocket pr0n stocks. I need caffeine...
To quote Lum The Mad from his current site:
If successful, it could allow people to touch and feel each other over the Internet.
Dear god, NO.
Att can ressurect thier Ad reach out and touch someone
"first transatlantic bitch-slap over the Internet."
...to "Reach out and touch someone"
I use Macs to up my productivity, so up yours Microsoft!
If successful, it could allow people to touch and feel each other over the Internet.
This story broke on Howard Stern this morning. I will leave 'figuring out what kind of discussion it was' as an exercise to the reader.
Hint: _orn
Cover your eyes and click this link!
I was gonna post something sex related too, but damn...everyone already beat me to it...
What a suprise huh?
Before the cock-sensors allow over the internet intercourse for only $9.95 ? Oh man, cyber sex at a whole new level. I CAN'T WAIT !!
Happy TT, everyone.
I alternate between posting +5 and -1 Comments. Karma: +53 -47 = 6
...hardware handshaking!
And million rejoice as the glory hole finally achieves perfection!
wouldn't this be a step backwards? It is ignoring the vast mental conveyance abilities of the internet to revert to the warn physical ideas that most people are so impressionable about. I think that this might reignate the prior discussions that we've had regarding psychological attachment disorders. People should learn to communicate via things like email or ICQ.
Thanks for reading!!!!
I am looking to accumulate friends. Please click on the circle and add me as a friend. Thanks!
"...will touch using sensors over the internet."
I know everyone is thinking "Touch this! " So, now I've said it. Let's move on to more clever jokes.
Hmmm, is it me or does that sound a little...well...you know.. ;)
I bet the UCL side will have a hand buzzer http://www.gagworks.com/gwp_0235.htm
Read Epic the first RPG novel.
Headline: "New Internet Touching Technology Announced, Rapper MC Hammer Cries Foul"
"The world's first trans-atlantic handshake was immediately follwed by the world's first trans-atlantic handjob."
I'm guessing the comments on this article are going to get a little... colorful.
Fooz Meister
now all we need is smell-o-vision moniters and the whole experience can be done over the net.
1. develop internet touch sensors
2. start porn site
3. ?XXX?
4. Profit!!!
"You can not only feel the resulting force, but you can also get a sense of the quality of the object you're feeling -- whether it's soft or hard, wood-like or fleshy."
One would hope this could be discussed without immediately putting your mind in the gutter, but with quotes like this, it's impossible. It's obvious what these scientists are really trying to develop.
...
that one of them is a practical joker.
American Scientist "And that concludes this historic First Ever Trans-Atlantic Handshake."
Brit scientist (to his buddies) "He he, he thinks the glove is on my hand!"
There are 01 kinds of cars in the world. The General Lee, and everything else.
Since when did you need "very high frequencies down the Internet using newly developed fiber optic cables and extremely high bandwidths" to transmit up to 1,000 Hertz of information?
Does anyone here think that 1000 != High frequency and shouldn't require high bandwidth or special fibre optics?
Tibbon
tibbon.com
From the article: "You can not only feel the resulting force, but you can also get a sense of the quality of the object you're feeling -- whether it's soft or hard, wood-like or fleshy."
There's no way I believe that quote wasn't designed for maximum comedic potential.
I don't think too many people will trust a hydraulic robot hand to their gizmo. :)
"I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar."
-Hoban Washburn
Now I can NOT get any action from women all over the world!
...this device can be improved alot now :)
this sig has intentionally been left blank
"You can not only feel the resulting force, but you can also get a sense of the quality of the object you're feeling -- whether it's soft or hard, wood-like or fleshy."
CmdrTaco touched my wee-wee over the Internet.
Oh yeah, that'd be every single edition of Mondo2000 having "articles" about virtual cyber sex... I wonder what happened to that awesome, inspired, workable, useful idea. Perhaps it went the same way as Mondo2000? Maybe we`ll never know!
I totally agree. People revert to caveman mentalities whenever they can, and we need to thwart that where possible. If this begins, soon there literally will be defices to allow people to smoke and drive drunk over the internet.
But what about this new technology in conjunction with Real Doll? Now THAT's a money making idea.
No sig for you. YOU GET NO SIG!
tcp wrapper...heh heh heh
My debut novel AMITY now available: http://jeremydbrooks.c
Is it a suit? and "hand" like object? a glove?
The article is very vague! Anyone find other article on this?
Not only funny, but doesnt involve prOn.
For more info, click on this link...
Will be especially helpful for people whose posts contains the phrase "free pr0n".
Welley Corporation - SLM Scammers
"Shake, partner!"
[stretches out hand]
"Psyche!"
[deftly runs hand through hair]
Mike van Lammeren
It will challenge your head, your brain, and your mind.
when a doctor removes the liver of someone in your family, and they were in for a tonsilectomy, the doctors can just blame the video connection saying that the text on the screen said 'Liver Transplant'. You will have to get satellite surgery insurance to protect yourself.
"If successful, it could allow people to touch and feel each other over the Internet."
Doesn't anyone remember people using the Nintendo Power Glove to do this several years back?
_____ There seems no plan because it is all plan. -- C.S. Lewis
So will 'ping' now be replaced by 'poke'? Gives a new meaning to the term 'finger' on IRC and other communication systems
Insert Sig Here
From the article
"You can not only feel the resulting force, but you can also get a sense of the quality of the object you're feeling -- whether it's soft or hard, wood-like or fleshy."
Come on people, let's not beat around the bush here. (So to speak)
If you get an error, type "OVERRIDE" or "SECURITY OVERRIDE" and then try the optimize command again.
Can't wait for the followup story: "Script kiddies hack robot hands -- scientists recovering in hospital after repeated punches to the face"
"I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar."
-Hoban Washburn
At last, I can be gay over the Internet.
Well, I was, but now I can be more gay. A gay enabler, if you will.
Now I'm the San Francisco treat.
"You can not only feel the resulting force, but you can also get a sense of the quality of the object you're feeling -- whether it's soft or hard, wood-like or fleshy."
So who gets to work on FeelUFeelMe?
iastor
If you're shaking your hand at 1000hz, you better be using lotion, or you'll chafe something awful!
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
There's a lot more info in this press release from MIT.
Using this for telemedicine sounds particularly interesting...
"Huh huh, you could use the internet to touch my nuts...huh huh"
A troll for 12 year olds...
I was gonna maintain the moral high ground (HA!) and not go for the obvious pr0n joke, but then, the best thing that could be said was already in the article....
"You can not only feel the resulting force, but you can also get a sense of the quality of the object you're feeling -- whether it's soft or hard, wood-like or fleshy."
This signature is a waste of 42 characters
What about latexy?
Wouldn't the latency levels cause alot of interaction to start looking like a Stooges bit?
Reach out and grope someone!
I touched someone overseas, and got a nasty virus!
Imagine a Beowulf cluster of these!
When will we have bras made out of this?
I hope we don't /. someone's groin!
We can make politicians wear this on their head, and punch them when we don't like their votes!
I've installed this in all my chairs!
and finally:
OMG! It feels just like Natalie Portman slathered in hot grits!
Thanks, I'll be appearing at K5 on Saturday!
It's good to see that Troll Tuesday still has bangin lyrics associated with it. Hmm, better write something on-topic to trick the moderators...
a handshake over the internet ?!? What's next, a HANDJOB over the internet ?! LOL ! U r teh WROGN !
I alternate between posting +5 and -1 Comments. Karma: +53 -47 = 6
Not having to look at, touch or smell other people is why the internet is good. If this goes we have lost everything.
BTW, happy troll tuesday, faggots.
I think everyone out there should take a minute to give these smart people a HAND for the great JOB they have done.
They Have single HANDedly created many JOBS for alot of Ugly Women!!!
All they will try do is pick up a cube by working together somehow. A handshake in terms of what we know a handshake to be might not exactly happen.
Two scientists -- one in London and one in Boston -- will try to pick up a cube between them and move it, each responding to the force the other exerts on it.
(...)
The implications of the experiment could be vast, said UCL, which describes the event as the world's "first transatlantic handshake over the Internet."
Cover your eyes and click this link!
You should be kicked off the net!
Here I am reading the story and thinking "I have a great pr0n joke for this" only to discover that every comment is already a pr0n joke of some kind.
Can't you people think of something more useful for this technology than that? Like for instance... um... er... do you think they could incorporate this into one of those Real Dolls?
The global economy is a great thing until you feel it locally.
"first transatlantic handshake over the Internet."
.. telephone? Telegraph? Snail mail?
Yeah, as opposed to the first translatic handshake over
I mean, what does this guy know that we don't?
Spam will not just annoy, but now send you to the doctor.
"Mom! A pop-up ad poked my eye again. I'm bleeding!"
Table-ized A.I.
... and if it hasnt been patented already, the killer app for this capability could be remotely controlled/directed body-suits for various pr0n apps ? just imagine... a new kind of force feedback _joy_stick with the appropriate silicon/rubber molded 'instrument' and your lover or cyber-anon controlling it in real time.... oh well, this has likely been done already.
Pull my finger!
This story reminds me of a concept a friend shared with me a few years back... he was interested in how much people would pay to shock him remotely over the 'net, and watch the reactions. He had the concept of a web-camera on him constantly, so that you could deliver the shock and watch the results...
Sample scenarios:
* eating cereal... ZZZzzzttt... milk everywhere
* on the bowl... ZZZzzzttt... poo everywhere
* frosting a cake... ZZZzzzttt... frosting everywhere
(etc, ad nauseum)
This is also the guy, however, that said he wanted to be buried with a webcam, so that people could watch him decompose over time, but that's another story altogether...
"The exchange of bodily fluids has been outlawed since 2010."
Be Well!
Any bets on when the first prank groping will occur?
Good plan, let's all plug up and eliminate that septic ACTUAL human contact all together. Who's with me?
Yes! Soon you will see ads... for the X10". (inch.)
Cover your eyes and click this link!
Brings a whole new meaning to "man in the middle attack," doesn't it?
"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance" - Derek Bok
yawn
I think this link describes the hardware being used - atleast an earlier version of it. Found through google "touch device phantom"
t ml
http://web.mit.edu/newsoffice/nr/1998/phantom.h
If I want to see any of the discussion about this story it seems.
"The implications of the experiment could be ".. Yawn...
Wow does anybody do important or cool science anymore. When I think of the millions of dollars of grant money being wasted on stupid crap like this...
Trust me I know about the waste I work at a university and you would be amazed at the stuff people are given money to research.
Is there nothing left cool to discover?
Blunder of the Ages
By Reporter AC
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - In what amounts to a new twist on an old and venerable tradition, Senator Trent Lott (R) accidentally kissed a hand and shook a baby during a fundraiser in his home state of Mississippi today. The technical glitch was quickly discovered to be caused by an aide plugging the new TouchMeFeelMe internet tactile simulator backwards, but the parent of the jostled child was even less pleased than the baby according to witnesses. More...
My
Limekiller
The device they are using seems to be the Phantom by SensAble Tecnologies (product page). I used one of these a few weeks ago at USC's Integrated Media Systems Cetner, they're pretty cool. If you are interested in this kind of thing, the field is called "haptics," from the greek "to touch."
Now we can all choke Saddam while he's reading his email!
-- "Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."
Craig Charles (Dave Lister on Red Dwarf for those not in the know) at a sci-fi convention mentioned this technology or something similar to it. But he had issues with it. His bigest concern with having sex like this over the internet was thus.
What happens if you get a power surge? Rips your dick off and faxes it to Canada?
I know that would concern me
-- Wiccan Army, 13th Airborne Division "We will not fly silently into the night"
I think your overlooking what this will do for games like Q3, EQ, UT, etc.
So if they use TCP/IP for the transport/network layer do they need to do a 3-way handshake? ...<groan>. Ok, ok, they are probably using UDP/IP in which case there is no actual handshake ... hmmm .. very matrixy ;)
Thoughts on tech, Software Engineering, and stuff
This makes the threat of a man-in-the-middle attack sound even more dangerous. Ewww.
Getting fooled into clicking on everyone's favorite goat link could be more than just embarassing now, it could actually cause some physical damage! ;)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Oh bother.
This tech sounds like what they used in "Kilobyte" by Piers Anthony.
Pull My Finger!
It brings a whole new meaning to CHAP and MS-CHAP. ;o)
Homer: Facts are meaningless, you can use facts to prove anything that's remotely true!
And there's allready a real application here
this sig has intentionally been left blank
fu-fme.com
:)
When you can't find someone to ping?
PING 60.121.1.10 (60.121.1.10) from 102.23.2.12 : 56(84) bytes of data.
--- 60.121.1.10 ping statistics ---
84 packets transmitted, 0 packets received, 100% packet loss
Gives new meaning to packet loss.
In his book, Virtual Reality, Howard Rheingold talked about this at length (no pun intended), and called it "teledildonics".
and we can tear it down anytime we want! congradulations on FP, btw.
--
YourMissionForToday
The article glosses over the fact that there are very, very few genuinely practical applications for this because of two insurmountable problems.
For one, our experiments at the time demonstrated that the hand-control idiom suffers from any lag; specifically that delicate manual operations are basically imposible with latency as low as 30ms which rule out things like surgery done this way. Hand dexterity depends on a very large number of relexive immediate movement in response to subtle stimuli like minute vibration of the tool, perceieved resistance, etc.
The second problem is one that operators of such devices very quickly become disoriented, often nauseated, because of the discordance between years of ingrained knowledge of how the world reacts to touch and the lagged/different input such tools provide.
People need to learn /new/ idioms for remote manipulation, not attempt to emulate biological systems. That's the same peoblem AI research has suffered from its inception: the day computers will display intelligence is when researchers start working on computer intelligence instead of trying to simulate human intelligence.
Same goes with tools.
While this might be a geekly thing to do (handshake over the net) and quite a bit neat, it's neither revolutionnary nor interresting in the long run.
-- MG
Hands Across America could be succesful this time - with only two people. ;).
This could have interesting ramifications (no pun intended
Seriously, people are already more physically separated than ever; rather than bring people closer, lots of technology has only widened the gulf.
I don't think I'm breaking any new ground here, many /.ers have been in a place in their lives where they've not had close relationships (platonic or otherwise). Even holding someone's hand has a positive effect on people's mental-well being.
Could this be more isolating than positive?
Hmmm. I wonder if W will use it to give Saddam the finger? Perhaps if leaders can flip each other off, using camel parts even, then it will diminish the desire to nuke each other. Then again it might have the opposite reaction. It would be easier to offend somebody with various body guestures than before.
I can envision a military guard next to the red button. Suddenly a finger pops out of his/her screen and presses it. "It wasn't me who pressed it, General, I swear to God!"
Table-ized A.I.
I can see this doing really great things for video gaming, but beyond that I'm at a loss for where the practical application for this technology is.
Maybe I'm just behind the times, but is there really that much of a demand to be able to pretend to shake hands with somebody over the internet? Is it really useful?
I suppose this could be used to some degree in remote robotics, but even there it's a stretch.
Your thoughts?
I have to go file a patent for one-click eGroping...
And then society and science will HALT development. Once we can all climb into the holodeck and roll our own reality.....what's then the point of anything else?
Anther condemnation against mankind... next up, bread and circus.
When the DNS attacks hit us last week, the first thing I thought of was the French doctor who operated a patient in the US via internet. And now this? Please, someone make the internet more reliable, too!
Figure out whether it's a computer giving you a boring handjob, or a genuine boring person.
retarded userid, right?
Three of the five senses (sight, sound, and touch) have now been transferred over the internet.
I don't think that the remaining two (taste and smell) will ever be.
I see a major market for Avatar coding using this. I think I'm going to specialize in model secondary sexual characteristics of American women. Looking for models now.
I am not a resource! I am a free man!
I *still* don't think this is much of an improvement over a regular doctor's visit for a prostate exam. At least you don't have to explain a real doctor's visit to the family, who will of course barge in at an inopportune time.
Table-ized A.I.
More technical article here
Over 25 years ago, in a magazine named "Compute!", there was an article about tactile feedback mechanisms and referred to as "telegrasping".
-soup (GNUrd, Speaker to Machines) "Laugh at yourself- Why should everyone else have all the fun?" -Romanchek's 6th Ru
So it's like a really sophisticated version of a Nintendo Game Glove. Or a MS Sidewinder Controller with Force Feedback.
Sorry, I don't see whats so awe inspiring about sending data through a network.
Maybe it's just me.
But, I don't think that we'll ever be able to transmit smell or taste.
Amen brotha!
Stupid scientists.
Now I'll never be able to pass as a 15 year old girl interested in lesbian action again...
Man, I hate to think of the spam we are going to get. YUCK!
Wife (enters room): "Uuargh - What the hell are you doing?"
Husband: "I got in in the mail, I swear!"
Alex
Heisenberg may have been here
Ann: "Hey, this new remote hand technology is great for our tech-support desks."
Bob: "Do you mean like showing callers how to reboot and find the Esc key?"
Ann: "No, for slapping sense into clueless idiots."
Table-ized A.I.
Probably more erotic for two people talking on telephone to tell each where to touch each other and then make appropriate pleasure noises. Letting your imagination fill in the the rest can be very erotic. Ditto for reading pr0n compared to viewing it.
Where would the trial be for getting assaulted by one of these devices? Source of or at the receiving end of the bitch slap?
A beowulf cluster of these!
http://www.bluevibrator.com/internet-vibrator.html for those who immediately jumped to the pr0n possibilities...
I guess that saying about the pr0n industry really pushing the envelope of internet technology as a driving force is true, then...
E.
Build Your Own PVR/HTPC news, reviews, &
For example, see: inTouch. It was presented at CHI 97.
If successful, it could allow people to touch and feel each other over the Internet. Well, now I don't have to deal with 900 numbers anymore. Imagine "feeling" the person on the other end of the live webcams on the p0rn websites.
Have a read:
http://onyx.he.net/~hotmoves/LIC/dildonics/
hey fish-breath, you're dripping. go wipe
This is a little risky, but here's a website with a simlar product, actually for have sexual transmissions over the internet (it's a joke site) http://fu-fme.com based off of the technologies from http://cu-cme.com
-- I was raised on the command line, bitch
Gives a whole new meaning to "Reach out and touch someone". More like "Reach out and feel someone up"
So when my modem used to tell me it was "handshaking", it was just lying to me?
This is a special excite
This
Future Chat Rooms:
GOOBER475: Hi A/S/L
HOTTIEGIRL: 18/F/NY
GOOBER475: Ohhh sounds nice...
HOTTIEGIRL: Stop touching me...
GOOBER475: Ohh..
HOTTIEGIRL: Stop it!
GOOBER475: Uhh...
[n8.r0n] http://petesweb.spymac.net/
I really try my hardest to refrain from these kinds of posts, but... Can't you just imagine the Pronographic possibilities?
DISCLAIMER:
I don't believe what I write, and neither should you.
...Why is it that "scientists have done x over the Internet" is automatically newsworthy? The same demonstration performed over a cable between two adjacent rooms would not have been significantly easier. Stuffing arbitrary data into TCP packets is just not that hard.
Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
Someone beat MIT to the punch:
Have a read:
http://onyx.he.net/~hotmoves/LIC/dildonics/
Pretty soon this might be a reality! Employee sues her boss across the Atlantic...
As someone else pointed out, where would you hold the trial for something like this? The place where the person who started the act from? Or where it happened? Hrm...
There are no real technical details in the actual article and there are no useful links to reliable confirming sources of information. I'm pretty sure that either the article is a joke, or its author was scammed.
You would think if this were real ground breaking technology, it would be picked up by CNN and there would be a link to a site at MIT describing it in the article.
Who are we to blame one group of people for such evil acts? I am not the judge of the Masons, neither are you. My Father, in heaven, is my judge and I carry my heavy heart under his laws. Evil is everywhere. I am a disciple; not yet a zealot. I am in the church of my Father 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and respect the day he rested on the 7th day (his sabath) by not working (being compensated for my time). It is written, 1 John 2:15, and I quote, with emphasis added in bold print, from the blasphemous King James Version:
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
The Bible is a book of love, the holy spirit. 1 John is a verry good book to read and I highly recommend to any aspiring disciple of Jesus (The Father's children).
Sincerily,
**************
Now combine this with some good VR technology and presto, you strap your self in, put on the goggles and insert the credit card...
Imagine a cybersex cafe instead of an internet cafe... you'd go in, and there'd be a counter, you'd slap down your credit card and the person would say "Room #15"...
Yup, lots and lots of people are going to get rich and a lot more are going to get some pleasure... Now the next set of moral questions... if you go have sex with a machine, is it cheating??? Technically your just masterbating...
Yes Francis, the world has gone crazy.
Someone has already patented sending textures over the net.
- Hail to our fearless misleader! Fool speed ahead!
There is a long tradition of boom and bust in the tech sector. There was a mainframe bubble, a minicomputer bubble, the home computer bubble that burst in 1984. This is the technology I've been waiting for to start the next tech bubble.
.
Gary Kildall (who wrote and comercialized CP/M, the first personal computer operating system) was a visionary in this regard (From posts to comp.os.cpm circa 1998/08/07. see google groups for the complete thread
Previously in this newsgroup, MaoN.Hibitor spake thus:
: Too bad he's (Gary) not around any more to tell us the story...
: I met him one night in a restaurant in Austin TX, he was very drunk,
: said he was someone notable from the early PC days. I just thought
: he was someone who wandered in from a 6th street bar, he was trying
: to tell me how he thought the 'next big thing' was going to be
: teledildonics.. Well, yeah, whatever buddy... gotta go... bye..
: I did notice a new black Porsche 911 outside, wondered whose it
: was, but didnt think much of the incident until I read a webpage
: with Gary's history on it, he had been living in Austin in 92-93.
: Weirdness...
On 1998-08-07 Mao N. Hibitor(MaoN.Hibitor) said:
> INSTIGATOR> "Teledildonics," indeed.
> INSTIGATOR> Had you, perchance, been ingesting an overabundance of the
> INSTIGATOR> substance alluded to by your nom de plume on that particular
> INSTIGATOR> evening?
>
>HEH...
>Nope, but Gary did buy me a beer...
>I guess he heard about the Robot Group, and came down to
>one of our meetings, it was about closing time when he wandered
>in and noticed us sitting in the back of the room with a bunch
>of electro gadgets on the table. He was quite serious about
>TD. This was just as the Internet was getting big, but before
>the WWW and Mosaic wore popular. I agreed that sex would sell,
>but didnt think mechanical accessories would prove feasable.
>OTOH, Gary may just have been 10-15 years ahead of the times...
>Up the net bandwidth a bit, provide the USB interface for your
>fav toy, and there you are... (or maybe not... but there are
>an infinite variety of folks on the net these days, and I'd say that
>about 1/3 of them are looking for digitalized porn... there's a
>market)
*punches Gweedo in the face._ _ /me /pencil Slaps baretta with large smelly trout.
Like that bitch??
you think thats funny?
j00r about to be 0wn3d.
_________________________________________
The once Smell-O-Vison is completed, we will have the first ever Internet Example of Pull My Finger... Just imagine all of the consequences.
Sincerily,
**************
When patent time comes, could the fu-fme be considered prior art? :)
Steve
How long before someone commits murder over
the internet with this technology?
I bought it for the pr0n, but now its killing me!
O=='=++
Even a NON-Internet based transatlantic handjob would be something of an accomplishment. Talk about long arms!
AC
Shake ->
<- Shake,Ack
Ack ->
All I want is a kind word, a warm bed and unlimited power.
Now the customers really can strangle me when frustrated.
another story I submitted hours or day(s) ago that reaches the front page with a different description and author. May as well just make my own news website. that way my stories would be posted sooner, and with the words I originally used. Wait, I'm already making one. :) Cool.
More importantly than getting this to work over the Internet, is getting it to work at home first so you can put on a vest that plugs into the back of your computer and delivers blow-by-blow of arcade action (run MAME and kick some ass with Double Dragon or Virtua Fighter). The bandwidth necessary for a low enough latency to feel real should be more easily accomplished when connected locally.
Also, perhaps certain actions could be coded into a library of motions so instead of having the transmitter of the action over the Internet send the actual data for each sensor, they only send a command to execute the sense of being hit by a fist in location x,y(,z?). This may help reduce the necessary bandwidth for transmitting an action.
...and that's the way the cookie crumbles.
I don't know about you guys, but I've been using the magic of the Internet to finger Stevie Case across state lines for quite a while now.
mbbac
Teledildonics.
whoa, and a computer is just a really sophisticated version of a typewriter. who needs that pile of junk, anyway?
so that makes you just a really sophisticated version of a piece of shit.
hope that puts it into perspective for you, moron.
"Pat McGroin" is to be used as a UserName... NOT a looping batch file command!!! :)
~m
"Yes, I have a Disaster Recovery Plan. It's called my Resume"
this technology will do wonders for www.fufme.com
Runnin' On Empty
Just added for the next version release: The Strangle feature.
At first I thought this said "Milkshake via the Internet." That would have been a lot cooler.
Wireless is the way of the future!
This was on Howard Stern this morning...it was pretty funny. He thinks that in less than 5 years he will be inserting his dick into some computer periferal :P
NR
Brave new world here we come.
You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.
But thanx anyway !!
In "Code and Other Laws of Cyberspace," Lessig talks about how the architecture of the 'Net used to enable the blind, deaf, ugly, and quadrapedal*. Everyone had to deal with the same narrow-band stream of text.
Now we've got things like videoconferencing, voice chat, the ability to swap pictures of--presumably--yourself, and it's making the Internet more like the regular world. Lessig, however, didn't make any strong value judgments about the change, simply using the fact to illustrate that changes in code can alter how the online world is experienced.
Then again, following the links you provided, you may just be a bit weird in the head. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
* [read: "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog.]
You want the truthiness? You can't handle the truthiness!
personal attacks hurt, especially when deserved
1. Legal documents can be signed over the Internet. People can put their actual signature down on a piece of paper(provided there's a webcam so they can see what they're signing.)
2. Provide someone with a transparent mask, and you have talking heads. Beyond the humor factor, you can see all the things they're not saying with their words.
3. Boxing matches, over the Net. Fight games, oh, and UT5 will be a whole lot more fun.
4. Back to serious applications, medical procedures could be performed, once this technology was sufficiently advanced. Doctors already wear scopes. Throw on some gloves with this tech and you can hire the best surgeon in the world to perform battlefield surgery(or for those who don't have war on the brain, surgery performed out in the middle of the wilderness.)
Yeah, I get the porn. Blah blah. So what. This advance is truly amazing, and we'd be fools not to see what we can do with it.
I wish there were a way for me to browse at N *or below*. As in, I should be able to set my threshold to a ceiling of 0 so that I only see blatant trolls and stuff about pelvic thrusts in nanotech pants. I can't be the only one who wants this.
so what will the freemasons do to ensure .. good god, folks ..
that the secret finger wiggle handshake isn't
being captured or forged?
the world will Crumble should a non-mason learn
the Secrets
"What is the sound of one hand clapping?"
Extension of Finger.
...and with this script you can pick your friend's nose too." :-}
So will we have to change the ol' phrase:
"You can pick your friends,
and you can pick your nose...
--- I wish I could hear the soundtrack to my life. That way I'd know when to duck.
The ability to transmit tactile data (and pornographic images!) across the Atlantic has existed for nearly 160 years. Patents for fax-by-telegraph devices were filed as early as 1843.
Check it out:
Image Transmission By Telegraph: A Brief History Of The Fax Machine
Cheers,
"You can not only feel the resulting force, but you can also get a sense of the quality of the object you're feeling -- whether it's soft or hard, wood-like or fleshy."
What about all three: Hard, wood-like and fleshy?
Ed Wedig
Graphic design services
docbrown.net
Wow.. now nudie sites will not only be virtual reality but semi-reality. It will allow users to keep both hands on the keyboard and still get the "full" expeirence of "nudie surfin."
NO! NO! Please don't mod me, I'm too young to die a troll. *click* Oh the pain, the pain...
"say where's your hand?"
:)
"between two pillows"
"those arent pillows!!"
kinda gives it a whole new international flavor
This could be very cool for various video games. More than joystick force-feedback you could get whole body shots when playing games like Quake et al.
Especially cool if I could spawn-kill that punk kid who cheats and every time he dies he gets a thundering pounding in the chest, imitating what I want to do in real-life.
Sigh.
Instead of screaming out the other persons name during sex, people will start screaming "Laaaag". "Was it good for you?" "owned."
Good.
(I'm sorry. I had to. Man I hate that Verizon guy)
to FuFme!
This comment was generated by a squadron of trained super elite albino ninja chickens for you.
I have in mind many applications for that, and one is too hot.
I must say I'm dissappointed to see that there's no pcmcia version for laptops... (or would firewire be more appropriate? iLink?)
-- it's ridiculous how many people misspell ridiculous... (damn, damn, damn...)
Step 1: Collect underpants
Step 2: Retrofit new internet connected touch/feel sensors to underpants and sell them as package upgrades for www.hotgnomesex.com
Step 3: Profit!
Could this technology be used in some way to create 'feeling enabled' prosthetic limbs? I know there would still be issues with impulse delivery to the brain, etc. Just a thought
Would all the guys be signing up for 'broad'-band connections? (I'm so sorry. I'll just go now)
It's hard to flip someone off with email.
Fools!
Do you not realize that this elevates 'user error' handling code to a God like level!
Yes, I can finally BITCHSLAP my sniveling end luser population in the manner they have long deserved.
"I need you to try this new biofeedback device."
the fufme drive becoming a reality.
Can you guys get this installed to help with my fantasy Emma Peel choice? I'm really having a hard time deciding.
If you post it, they will read.
Will the PalmTop now be replaced by the GooseTop? ;-)
Table-ized A.I.
Now imagine a Beowulf cluster of THOSE!
OMG it staggers the imagination to think of all the scary peripherals this will lead to....
fu-fme.com
This has been available since '99 or so! Here
This really annoying girl gave me her email address on the last day of college before graduation.
I remember saying to a friend of mine who was with me, "The day I email her is the day they figure out a way for her to give me head over the internet."
Looks like I might be emailing ol' Sarah sooner than I thought!!
c u c me transitions to touch u touch me.
Do you use lithium grerase or KY ? :) :)
And what about protection... No more STDs... You must worry about electricution after ejac... well you get the jism I mean Jist of it.
Does anyone feel like playing quake anymore?
Adding this to a *nix box would bring a whole new meaning to 'finger'.
--
J Boylan
What happens if you get a power surge? Rips your dick off and faxes it to Canada?
Yeah, it'll arrive on my fax machine...MWA-ha-ha-ha-ha! (I have such fun with these little surprises, don't you know...)
I'm not a geek, I'm just a clever script.
I think this will help in fueling the next tech industry boom!
Obviously, you have a 3rd grade education, and know little if anything about the masons.
The first transatlantic handshake will be shortly followed by the first transatlantic thumb wrestling competition.
Don't trust a bull's horn, a doberman's tooth, a runaway horse or me.
pull my finger
Remember everyone's excitement over "Virtual Reality" technology, circa 1994? What did it get us?
Clunky helmets, oversized gloves, blurry screens, and generally something very much unlike reality.
Maybe such technology will have practical applications in 30 some years. Imagine playing a game of tennis using balls equipped with these "phantoms" and an invisible opponent from across the country.
Be excited for what the future holds, not tomorrow.
-Evan
Via google teledildonics 1,930 results
cyberdildonics 1,080.
every day http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The device is a sticky mess, pervs.
When I went to college, there was a girl named Teresa Watt who had an account on the RS/6000. My buddy Rob had tears in his eyes when he showed me that you can actually "finger twatt".
Thank you AC... where ever you are.
Here is another article on this story.
Sounds interesting
[alk]
... but don't stop shaking
Sorry, couldn't resist..
We all know and love the JoyStick.
for your pr0n now available: The interactive Joy-Port
Think of the possibilitiesHow do I itegrate that with AIM-n-Yahoo???
See the Pictures of the Flood of '08
This is cooler, and we've been doing it for years.
This was invented by some pimple-faced scientists who've got rejected one-to-many times by women.
When all these tests are done, these guys can get it on with women who doesn't know them. All they
now have to do is to finish that 3D program featuring a Tom Cruise lookalike person and then it's just
rock 'n' roll... Yeah Baby Yeah! (of course they have to fix an Austin Powers speech synthesizer.)
So yeah... A little theory I've had recently... If MMORPG's are nothing more than an "Alternate Reality" (with "The Sims Online" being the most blatant example) where people almost "live" (i say this because we all know how obsessive some people are about this stuff), then how much longer until this new technology and said "Alternate Realities" are merged? Throw in some special glasses which display a computer screen (already in development/marketing I think), and voila! semi-immersive world... Thrown in the remaining two senses, an out-of-control AI, solar powered machines that use said AI, mix and stir well... And look what we got... So how long till I'm a D-Cell?
Insert Sig Here
now when some 12 year old punk on diablo starts talking smack about your weak armor
instead of leaving the game, you can reach out and strangle his ass !
"Recreational uses seen
It would also have recreational uses, allowing people to touch and feel each other over the Internet."
I don't think /. 'ers are the only ones seeing the practicalities of this...
I think someone was a little lonely in the lab late one night...
Insert Sig Here
Could this qualify as sex?
Can you imagine a whole set of laws created making it illegal having simulated sex???
This brings cheating on your spouse to a whole new level of complexity. Its one thing to send messages back and forth, but then you could actually have a physical relationship, does that constitute cheating?
I learned the other day that touch, unlike sight, needs a much higher "frames per second" to be realistic. While for sight, 50 times refresh per second is sufficient, for touch this apparently needs to be in the order of 1000 times per second. I'm wondering if this connection is able to deal with this?
Cheers,
Costyn.
The Official Steve Ballmer Webpage
Think of all those lonely business travelers who need a little relief. This will certainly boost the phone sex industry.
"You'll get nothing, and you'll like it!"
I think this is a pretty excellent idea. Being able to emulate human actions through devices such as this can provide some real human interaction for someone who is for one reason or another home-bound most of the time, such as the elderly. In a UCLA study, it was found that just to maintain emotional and physical health, men and women need 8 to 10 meaningful touches a day (Smalley & Trent, 1986, p. 42). Giving psychiatrists and other health professionals the ability to "reach into" someone's home and touch them is a really good thing.
"As far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue." ~A. Einstein
This isn't about chat, sex (despite the jokes), your social life or mental problems - it's about conveying a certain type of information to the appropriate senses. There is a lot of information which can't easily be conveyed via text or even video but could be very well conveyed using touch.
This type of technology opens up a lot of possibilities. I'm sure you could also scale up or down the sensations you are feeling. Feeling and picking up that softball sized object may translate over the wires to moving a tiny obstruction in the patients aorta or moving ten-ton boulder in the road. In either case you can *feel* if it slips, if you picked it up off center, or if it is stuck on something.
This is late, its already been done here
13 year old white supremacists are shitty web designers.
I'm sure the fine folks at SensAble are disappointed that the article doesn't mention them or indicate that PHANTOM is an abbreviation (though I can't find the expansion at the moment). I seem to remember it being pHANTOM back in '97.
Back in my college days, I got to play with a PHANTOM at URCS. It's an arm that can exert translational forces at the tip. They're available with a thimble or a stylus on the end. We had the thimble style, which had a weird harness joint that always kept the finger tip at the "end" of the arm regardless of rotation. You strapped in the tip of your finger in not entirely unlike strapping a foot into a bike pedal.
From a programming standpoint, you could query it for position and velocity, then send back a force vector. Multiplying the velocity vector by a value between 0 and -1 gave the impression of moving through peanut butter or motor oil or water. I tried using a positive multiplier, but that got dangerous very quickly. You were supposed to be careful about hitting the edges of the range of motion.
You could simulate surfaces by monitoring the position for crossing the surface and returning a force vector orthogonal to the surface. At the time, really hard surfaces didn't work. You could get many gradations of sponginess, but past a certain point, it wouldn't get any more solid. Surface texture (bumpy vs. smooth) and shape were easy to feel, though.
One of the really, really slick things my advisor commissioned was to put two PHANTOMS facing each other so you could put your thumb in one and index finger in the other. Then you strapped on a VR headset with a magnetic head tracker. You could see a sphere each for the thumb and finger tips. There were boxes floating around that you could grab, throw, and bounce off of each other and the "walls". Although it was a zero-gravity environment, the "weight" of the blocks between the fingers was very convincing, as were the collisions. You could bounch a block basketball style, and it felt about right. The head tracking contributed greatly to overcoming the proprioception disconnect.
This has already been around for awhile
http://www.fufme.com
"Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"
It will become increasingly important to use SOAP before SAX, especially over a dirty connection.
Anyway we the people of the internet have added webcam and voice support to various IM clients, so you can have (low quality) video chat with other people around the world. Eventually you'll be able to interact with them physically, too. Basically it doesn't matter if we cure HIV/AIDS, we'll have a sexual renaissance one way or another. :)
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
Bwah-ha-ha-ha!
No handjob for you!
-- Boycott Shell
ACK.
the major advances in civilization are processes which all but wreck the societies in which they occur - A.N. White
The year is 2058, I'm in Des Moines and my wife is in Lyon. She wants to get pregnant but the distance between us is further than the length of my penis many times over. So using this technology we have intercourse over the internet and my semen is sampled by a device, like a compact flash reader for semen, and the exact DNA values of my semen are sent over to her using a secure protocol and then her device reads those values and secretes some fake semen to impregnate her. It's fuckin' simple.
for 'personal computer'
Creationists are a lot like zombies. Slow, but powerful and numerous. And they all want to eat our brains.
Imagine a beowulf cluster of these!
what, you mean an orgy?
Cogito Eggo Sum, I think therefore I'm a waffle
LAN parties should certainly be alot more interesting...
Banaaaana!
This story was mentioned on Jay Leno last night. He joked that this type of technology would be used for sexual purposes, or course.
Just wanted to say I like the sig! (proud to be living in the Dead Milkmen's hometown)
Karma: Bored. (Thinking about resurrecting the "Anyone else is an imposter" joke.)
Now you *really need to be afraid of hidden goatse.cx links....
This page accidentally left blank
"Let the juvenile comedy commence!"
Okay: Porn sites will make millions off this innovation!
A would-be disciple came to Nasrudin's hut on the mountain-side. Knowing
that every action of such an enlightened one is significant, the seeker
watched the teacher closely. "Why do you blow on your hands?" "To warm
myself in the cold." Later, Nasrudin poured bowls of hot soup for himself
and the newcomer, and blew on his own. "Why are you doing that, Master?"
"To cool the soup." Unable to trust a man who uses the same process
to arrive at two different results -- hot and cold -- the disciple departed.
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...