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Could it be that you wedge yourself into every Google-related discussion to go on and on about how you "went all in"? Every time... without fail... It gets old.

You're like the Google fan equivalent of the Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television. It all just comes off as a little sad now.

This, it's pretty standard for quick low-bandwidth photos to be sent first. Remember these were beamed ~384,400 km from the fucking moon.

Oh, you're THAT GUY!!

Poker? The Onion had a much better idea.

For solving a problem brought to your attention by the Onion.

every word the truth

For those who don't know... digital tv is this thing that carries the same mindless, retarded, idiotic, uninteresting programs as analog tv, only it's digital.

Perhaps you're watching the wrong shows...

(or are you this guy http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-man-constantly-mentioning-he-doesnt-own-a-tel,429/ ?)

And yet another slashdot article on TV where half of the comments are reminiscent of a 13 year old Onion article. We get it; you're a hipster dipshit. Go tell someone who cares.

Slightly offtopic, but I can't resist reposting one of the Onion's best predictions (jan 17 2001)

Your comment reminded me of this scary article: Buddhist Extremist Cell Vows To Unleash Tranquility On West

You should at least attribute your sources, rather than try and pass them off as your own. In this case, http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-man-constantly-mentioning-he-doesnt-own-a-tel,429/

Kennedy killed by Sturgis and Hunt in Poppy-managed operation.

Come on, we all know who killed Kennedy.

But anyway, a white knight blackmailing the black male in the White House. I mean, I'm pretty sure that a geek like Snowden would have done it just for the pun of it.

here

You're just fishing for that "The Onion" link, aren't you?

Well, here you go.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-man-constantly-mentioning-he-doesnt-own-a-tel,429/

Oblig. Onion (video): CEO Worked Way Up From Son of CEO

Hmmm. I would actually buy something that had that 70's - 80's look with meters, metal switches, knobs, dip switches. Basically, the Zenith Gamespace Pro. Maybe I am too old and just miss my parent's RCA Select-a-Vision VCR I used to watch Star Wars over...and over...and over...and over...and over...and over...and over...

Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades^WCharges

Somewhere, someone can make a joke about razor blades in here.

inspiration

Can't we get an article for Playstation that does not refer to Xbox or vice versa?

Nintendo fan, I'm guessing.

That's okay, we've got a new entrant in the market we can all talk about instead!

http://www.theonion.com/video/cias-facebook-program-dramatically-cut-agencys-cos,19753/ :)

It's just part of an ongoing study.

Hey now, don't trivialize his achievement!

http://www.theonion.com/articles/ceo-worked-way-up-from-son-of-ceo,34331/

Got you beat, 100% of the home schooled kids I know are completely normal well adjusted people with no wacky parents. I have a decent sampling, five from one family, three of which are attending university now, belong to the guy in the cubical next to me who insisted on home schooling because of the public school systems race to the bottom in terms of increasing class sizes combined with the no-one left behind mentality. He wanted to make sure his kids weren't getting pulled down because teachers in public school have to cater to the lowest common detonator. Which by the way is a huge issue because if you're stuck in a class with a bunch of morons, in most cases, you're stuck with them until you graduate high school, meaning they will always be pulling you and the rest of the class down.

That is why we homeschool.

One of the reasons that many people think homeschooled kids are "weird" is that homeschooled kids generally are not taught that they must always stay at the level of the other kids their age. So, when a 10 year old joins into a conversation with adults, and makes valid coherent points, public schooled kids and adults think it is 'weird'.

This ONN Today Now! interview pretty well illistraits what is meant when people claim homeschooled kids are 'weird', 'socially awkward', or 'religious nut-bags'.

I know more discs actually do make a difference, but it did remind me of this...

http://www.theonion.com/articles/fuck-everything-were-doing-five-blades,11056/

New Heart Device Allows Cheney To Experience Love

without browser extension or anything: just don't use the blasted thing...

"I, personally, would rather spend my time doing something useful than watch television," Green told a random woman Monday at the Suds 'N' Duds Laundromat, noticing the establishment's wall-mounted TV. "I don't even own one."

The Onion had done a spoof of this before. The summary reads so much like the script I had to double check that it wasn't April Fools.

Obligatory The Onion Video:
http://www.theonion.com/video/ultrarealistic-modern-warfare-game-features-awaiti,14382/

I enjoyed Breaking Bad and I don't even own a TV.

Even the most basic data mining can reveal a lot about your hopes and dreams.

Vigorously Defends It From Man Who Understands 5%

Investigate (from reliable sources ) how health care works in countries that have it, and you really must learn the meaning of the word "socialist" or you'll wear it out. Before long it won't even be a boo-word for your troops. anymore.

Yeah, I mean, Ted Cruz is practically a shoe-in in 2016.

Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Certificates.

And for more security, we can do *THREE* certificates. Count them! *THREE* for additional security.

Super secure sites like banks can do *FOUR* certificates. If any one of the *FOUR* certificates break, then we know we're attacked! Even more secure if those *FOUR* certificates come through 4 different ways...

Are you really suggesting that?! Do you even know how PKI works?

Fuck it...we're doing *FIVE*.

Check this out then : most of the general population is made of psychotic, mentally ill maniacs. Study: Average Person Becomes Unhinged Psychotic When Alone In Own House

“We discovered that the private mannerisms of most people, if seen in public, would be considered nearly identical to the those of a person with a severe case of schizophrenia,” Gibbon stated. “For example, if you were to witness someone on a subway car obsessively pulling their elbow skin to check its elasticity or see an individual randomly say to themselves, ‘Okay, okay, I’ll call her’ to no one in particular, your immediate reaction would be to think, ‘This person is insane and needs professional help.’”

Excellent suggestions, and apparently the majority of Americans agree with you.

Poll: Majority Of Americans Approve Of Sending Congress To Syria

The New York Times/CBS News poll showed that though just 1 in 4 Americans believe that the United States has a responsibility to intervene in the Syrian conflict, more than 90 percent of the public is convinced that putting all 535 representatives of the United States Congress on the ground in Syria - including Senate pro tempore Patrick Leahy, House Speaker John Boehner, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, and, in fact, all current members of the House and Senate - is the best course of action at this time.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/gta-v-a-sophisticated-gaming-experience-says-man-w,33893/

For example, the issue I commented on was in response to someone saying that CDs existed in 1986. While this is true, they were still relatively expensive at the time- yuppies and audiophiles probably had one to play their copy of "Brothers in Arms" on, but Joe Average and his friends probably didn't. It would be another couple of years before they would start to take off in truly mass-market terms.

I think I was a relatively normal kid -- didn't get my money for nothing -- but that's probably why I didn't get my copy till '87. Seems so far away now . . .

Definitely gonna force the kid to listen to this tonight. I am a cool dad.

Oh hey, you're the guy.

But with this new product:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/apple-unveils-panicked-ideafree-man-at-launch-even,33814/

Since the CIA's invention of Facebook saved the government millions of dollars in monitoring costs, it makes sense to collect fingerprints the same way. And coming soon, the Facebook "Share A DNA Sample" feature.

Maybe a good first step in war is to start parachuting politicians into these foreign countries where they clamor for war?

Poll: Majority Of Americans Approve Of Sending Congress To Syria

If you're older than 12 and still playing with that shit

Seriously, guys, we're grown men here.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-who-enjoys-thing-informed-he-is-wrong,7057/

The full text.

In response, the FBI announced it intends to one-up the NSA by revealing they shot Kennedy.

I think that the only proper response to that would be "Get in line!"

They should make a kickstand with five positions!

Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades

As far as I'm concerned (ianal), the "I have a dream" speech was a historical, public, and defining of an important part of our society. It can't be copyrighted. Any lowlife trying to capitalize on that should be thrown in jail.

And in the worst case, perhaps speeches are fungible. :-)

Radio Shack? How are they even still in business?

Not even the CEO knows how that company stays afloat.

Have your fun...

http://www.theonion.com/articles/syrian-electronic-army-has-a-little-fun-before-ine,32324/ ...enjoy every minute of it.