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Evolution is nothing but a theory, just as is gravity. Theory means "not true". The real basis for flight is God's divine will expressed through specific cases where He suspends Intelligent Falling. Flight is one of the most clear examples that proves Intelligent Falling, and that the "theory" of gravity is just bunk foisted on us by a bunch of scientists who want to destroy God.

I liked that one.

This one is also appropos.

You aren't strange, you aren't different, and you certainly aren't special.

People have been critisizing television as mind numbing drivel for decades upon decades.

It also seems to have become some sort of holy symbol, you have those that 'escape' the cult, who are then scorned and looked on as kooks and mistrusted by those who are left behind(of course some people who free themselves from any vice can be a bit self-righteous) but overall there is a feeling of distrust towards those that are no longer captive, i know because i remember a number of times in my life feeling just that towards people who have simply stated they dont watch TV.

Well, it depends -- if the person who stopped watching TV is an ass about it, then sure, they're going to be treated like one.

But what it sounds like is that you make the assumption that a) television is repulsive, and as a concequence of that b) no one would watch it of thier own free will. After all, if you find it repulsive, then it is repulsive, right?

People aren't controlled into watching TV, they watch it because that's what they want to do.

(Since you claim you're reading now, I'd recommend reading this before you go start screaming "WAKE UP!" in your best Zack De La Rocha voice at people).

N

I'm not sure, but this link will possibly help you out.

Huh?

TV is better now than it's *EVER* been in it's history. People are spending $50 a pop to buy a season of a TV series on DVDs -- would they do that if TV was garbage?

Look, I know it's cool and all to mention you're weaned off the glass teat and whatnot, but even Harlan Ellison is ranting on about how good LOST is (seach for 'Saturday, October 1 2005 14:48:10').

You aren't cool.

The theory is 'Intelligent Falling'.

Does that 300 years timeframe include the destrucion phase outlined in this article...

Or is this actually a "Duke Nukem Forever" type of timeframe???

300 years? I'd have thought their other plan would have been a lot quicker.

Just remember that Bill Gates increased all of his attributes to the 18 - 20 range and he now has demi-god type stats.
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29743

Part of the problem with trying to present "unbiased news" is that it usually done as "presenting both sides". It sounds great; yet, both sides are presented as if they had equal merit or have equally good spokespeople.

"98% of scientists say that evolution occurred, but did it? Up next, we'll have the arguments of almost the whole scientific community, versus a small group of people with degrees from degree mills, on the subject of what should be taught in the science classroom."

"Up next: A group of swift boat veterans, the vast majority of whom never met John Kerry, state that he deliberately got injured and the injuries were minor. Half of the people who did meet him were already on record supporting his story... but, we'll be giving them equal time and giving their claims equal credence, up next! We report, you decide!"

"Up next on Hannity and Colmes...."

There's too little time on your average sound-bite news report to get into the details of an issue - you can only look at the face value claims, on often complicated issues. Thus, people are *not* getting the information that they need to make a decision, only the most basic talking points of each side, and they're just going to go with whatever side they trust more.

There are two options that I see as being at least *somewhat* (although still far from perfect) more fair:

1) Give both sides equal time, but on a *long, in-depth report*, staged in debate-fashion (for example, who starts first ends first, with time given to rebut the other side's claims).

2) Don't give both sides equal time; take whoever would be the most nonpartisan experts in the field, and have them report as they choose. I.e., on the "evolution vs. creationism" issue, you'd (randomly or based on merit) pick prominant members of the scientific community; on the swift boat issue, you'd pick members of the military at the time who *didn't* come forward to support either side, and ask them to report on the issue based on the evidence at hand; etc.

The movie production industry has already given up.

Well, the tin-foil hat crowd (about 1% of users) might care about that, as might business owners with valuable trade secrets (30%?).

But Mikey's term paper on Otters is not so critical. Parents don't want to buy Office XP Pro for that. Pirate it from, maybe. But a dedicated purchase for domestic use? No.

Microsoft (hotmail), Google (gmail), as well as Yahoo and others have proven that a great number of people don't mind compromising their privacy with casual use of free email accounts.

Free, web-based documents doesn't seem too much of a stretch.

A firmer barrier to web-based use of Office tools is spreadsheets. Business owners have absolutely no interest in placing their crown jewels on someone else's server no matter the low price and convenience. But even home users would think twice about putting their checkbooks or 401k histories on someone else's server.

A service like this needs the option of (i) free easy access for any consumer, then (ii) the ability for business owners to lock down their own web-based office document servers, use SSL/TLS, etc.

MS could play in this space very competently, but it would be cannibalizing its lucrative revenue stream for shrink-wrapped Office, so it would have to overcome a great deal of apprehension: a classic Innovators Dilemma.

Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades!

ID vs evolution is very black and white. To think otherwise means you are not thinking at all. Really. There is a definition of science, and ID does not come close to meeting it. Evolution has an enormous amount of evidence backing it up.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512

The above is meant as a joke. But the frightening part is that there is absolutely no difference between that and ID vs. Evolution.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28467

We all knew FoxNews was crap, I'll just stick with America's Finest.

Now if you excuse me, there's a -1 Flamebait that just walked and is asking for me.

AVClub article

AVClub is from the same guys who do The Onion

This interview also features Dave McKean.

Ryan Fenton

What exactly did I cram in my anus last night?

'Oh, shit, says humanity'

While I agree, there's still this: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28694

Just throw out your TV and do something better with your time... I'm boycotting them since 2004.

So you're that guy!

The Onion predicted this day would came.

Remember the opposable thumbs scare from five years ago?

But how about we call the Southern part of the peninsula "Korea", and the other part "Batshitzania"?

As North Korea already has their own robotic countermeasures.

Even more sickening is the fact that I can't blame it on Bush and his pro-faith/anti-science political machine. Of course, Reagan got pro-faith/anti-science started, so maybe we can blame more of it on the Republicans. But, shit.

Hey, remember when we could laugh at a good Onion article like Russian Scientists Announce Six-Month Delay in Carving New Space Station? Those were the days, right?

I hope those Russian engineers haven't taken their eyes off the ball the way we have...

"I'm so glad my tax money is being squandered on this joke, rather than going to something worthwhile, like...say...Katrina relief."

the onion has it covered:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40762

> I'm disapointed it has nothing to do with The Onion -
> the satirical news site.

Here's a link to an article the did a while back. Made
me laugh...

'White History Year Resumes'

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27933

Bush Braces As Cindy Sheehan's Other Son Drowns In New Orleans

WASHINGTON, DC--Dynamic, well-liked Tyler Sheehan was found dead in the floodwaters, much to President Bush's horror.

The Onion appears to still be doing its satirical news thing.

Is Larry Wall associated with The Onion?

...not all students have or want cell phones. I don't own one and plan on avoiding owning one as long as possible...

It's just a matter of time :)

All works by those authors will be purged from the planet. Once the works cease to exist, the case will be dismissed.

The alarm will be on a level similar to this

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27924

This means that Microsoft is actually good, because the new slogan for Google is "Don't be evil, unless it's necessary for the greater good."

He ordered a mandatory evacuation, the first in our city's 400-year history. This caused many, many people that might have stayed to leave and saved many lives.

Also, who is going to drive those 500 buses in the middle of a cat5 hurricane? 500 suicidal bus drivers? Maybe 500 national guardsman... Let's link that The Onion article again:

Louisiana National Guard Offers Help By Phone From Iraq.

I love how the White House and its supporters speak out of both sides of their mouth.

I love the way that knee-jerkers assume that if I rap one set of incompetent politicos, that I must be a supporter of the other wing of the Ruling Party.

it's all the state and local governments' fault.

No, it's actually God's fault. I'd really be going off on the almighty, if only He weren't ficitious.

-jcr

By the way, this is you

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/32456

The sad part is I had to go with an old article since /. already posted their current front page story.

Genie Grants Scalia Strict Constructionist Interpretation Of Wish for the win. :)

I guess he hasn't heard about the army of laser equipped, brain melting robots yet.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33284

They are even making fun of Slash.Dot

And in the "a little too close to home" department: Plan To Straighten Out Entire Life During Weeklong Vacation Yields Mixed Results and Wild, Unattached Twenties Spent At Work.

And in the "a little too close to home" department: Plan To Straighten Out Entire Life During Weeklong Vacation Yields Mixed Results and Wild, Unattached Twenties Spent At Work.

And in the "a little too close to home" department: Plan To Straighten Out Entire Life During Weeklong Vacation Yields Mixed Results and Wild, Unattached Twenties Spent At Work.

And in the "a little too close to home" department: Plan To Straighten Out Entire Life During Weeklong Vacation Yields Mixed Results and Wild, Unattached Twenties Spent At Work.

I dug the link up for those who weren't priveliged enough to catch it the first time. http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29743

... so much else going on in Science these days, particularly this recent development. It'd be a shame not to mention those.

... so much else going on in Science these days, particularly this recent development. It'd be a shame not to mention those.