Slashdot Mirror

"If you could reason with religious people there wouldn't be any religious people" - Hugh Laurie.

As cool as it would have been for Hugh Laurie to say this, it was actually said by House, and the actual quote is -

Rational arguments don't usually work on religious people. Otherwise there would be no religious people."

(http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/house/season4/house-402.htm Season 4, Episode 2)

And Bingo was his name-o!

http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/southpark/season2/southpark-211.htm

Montalban always reminds me of the character Victor (pronounced "Bictor") from Futurama who was pretty obviously modeled after his soft Corinthian leather days:

VICTOR:
    The luxurious seats are stuffed with
    eagle down and the dashboard inlaid
    with the beaks of a thousand eagles.
    Also, there are some eagles under the
    floorboards.

That's "Computer. Tea.. Earl Grey. Hot." Turn in your card.

From http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/nextgeneration/season5/tng-521.txt:

71 INT. PICARD'S QUARTERS

        Low lighting... as he enters... pauses once inside to
        feel himself alone... won't allow himself to stay with
        that... moves to the replicator...

                                        PICARD
                        Earl Grey. Hot.

Now turn in your card.

Google: I am above the law!! [the lock falls forward, and he dabs some SPOOGE gel to put it back in place] Mr. Chef, I'm afraid you leave me no alternative. We're going to sue you.

Owner: Sue me?! You came onto my private property, clearly marked, took pictures, put them on the internet, and you are going to sue me?!

Google: Yes. I suggest you get a real good lawyer. We'll have the best in the business.

http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/southpark/season2/southpark-214.htm

The Lone Gunmen showed a monkey using Linux:

SCENE 10

(Back in the barn. FROHIKE carries PEANUTS in and sits him on the table.)

FROHIKE: All right. Time for a meeting of the minds. Talk, you thief. Say something.

BYERS: Please, Peanuts.

LANGLY: Speak.

YVES: He can't. He's a chimpanzee, he doesn't have the vocal cords for speech. Haven't you figured that out yet?

LANGLY: So what can he do? Besides Grand Theft Auto.

(YVES places a laptop in front of PEANUTS, who immediately begins typing.)

FROHIKE: It's gibberish.

BYERS: No. it's not. It's Linux.

LANGLY: He's downloading some sort of voice synth program.

FROHIKE: Wow! Way to go, Peanuts. ...

I beg to differ. One of the primary reasons I like SG1 (and dislike Atlantis) is about the strong underlying themes about theology and religious exploitation. About people doing acts of lunacy (The Season 1 ep Politics) based on faith. How blind faith wreaks havoc and how easily people are manipulated. One of my favorite lines from the show

TEAL'C: I thought it fitting that on this day when we must sacrifice our short lived freedom that we do so here...at the site of the Battle of salsacksor...where you're father gave his life for this very cause...he began to doubt the Goa'uld long before this rebellion took shape Gerak. It was your father's death at their hands that led you to question what god is so deserving of my worship.
GERAK: you were not one who was chosen...you did not witness the wonders I beheld.
TEAL'C: did that erase the dead...heal the sick and wounded? Destroy their enemy with but a wave of their hand.
GERAK: the Goa'uld deceived us...the Ori's powers are pure.
TEAL'C: then what is the measure of a God Gerak... is it the scope of their power or how they choose to wield that power? Would a god who is prepared to lead us on the path of enlightenment so contradict this divine benevolence by destroying all those who refuse to believe in him?
GERAK: Those who refuse to believe... must die
(from http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/stargate/season9/sta rgate-911.htm)

Eh, for what it's worth, I was actually reading a few TNG scripts I stumbled across and figured I'd try a little Trek joke. This is one of the few sites I could get away with doing such things. :)

http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/nextgeneration/seaso n4/tng-403.txt

8, 80, whatever cores? I just want my hovercraft damn it, they promised us hovercrafts!

Leela: Oh Lord! Teeth do not belong in your pants Professor.
Farnsworth: Well I can't keep them in my mouth. They're nuclear powered!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teenage_Mutant_Leela' s_Hurdles
http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/futurama/futurama507 .htm

Nah. I heard it on "My Name Is Earl" last night.

Earl: Sorry about that.don't worry I'll find your dog. But htats it right, then your life is exactly back to the way it was seven months ago, we're done.

Scott: yeah, I think that's completely everything back to normal.

Earl: good.

Scott: unless (to Tess) you didn't have sex with anyone else while we were broken up , did you?

Tess: I used my hand on a guy a little.

Earl: yeah I'm not sure how to unring that bell.

that kid peed in my coffee!

Woah there children, I wouldn't be starting a dance fight unless you want to get f'd in the a!

how about this...

http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/nextgeneration/seaso n1/tng-121.txt

Wake up everyone. Robotics and wars are NOT where we want to go.

My collection has yet to include Dogs who love Midget's Shoes or Hot Ant on Ant action. If the FBI can find such sites then they are my heroes.

Sorry, but this is a political scenario called; "Run Screaming back to your base"

Call me partisan (and I am certainly am), but this is pure hokum. Bushcorp is in big trouble in the polls and need to get the approval points back up. Look for big crackdowns on NAMBLA (North American Marlon Brando Look-Alike) and Gay Porn sites. Mary Carey - The Porn Star Who Would Be Governor of California, Will be linked to making porn and keep her out of the race for the next California Governor. Leaving only the likes of Gary Coleman and Democrats to face down Schwarzenegger in 2006.

It's from "The Ensigns of Command", where that freaky race the Sheliak want to colonize a planet that was given to them in a treaty, but an old Federation colony ship crash landed there generations ago and they don't want to leave.

The exact dialogue was:

GEORDI Captain, we can do it! We can modify the transporters.

PICARD Excellent.

GEORDI It'll take fifteen years, and a research team of a hundred --

PICARD (dryly) Mister La Forge, I believe we will postpone.

GEORDI (with a grin) Yes, sir.

http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/nextgeneration/seaso n3/tng-302.txt

Is this as dumb as the founding of the Mormon church?

Obligatory Southpark quote:
Simpsons did it!

But where is the programmer who gave Moriarty those capabilities? A new Moriarty program wasn't created, the existing one was modified. That means the existing programming in the holodeck already had the ability to create self-aware persons rather than simulated personas.

I took the liberty of reading over the relevant parts of "Elementary, My Dear Data", and I don't think that's clear at all. Data himself modifies the program before Geordi gives the command to create an opponent who can "defeat" and "confound" Data, so it's possible that Data's input -- whatever it was -- was a necessary catalyst for this to occur, much like the Bynars' input was necessary to create the much more humanlike holodeck character of Minuet. Speaking of the Bynars, it's worth remembering that at the end of "11001001", the humanlike Minuet character was gone, and Riker was unable to create one like her. This is a piece of evidence that would seem to favor the argument that normal holodeck characters do not bear the richness of simulated minds.

Back to "My Dear Data": Given the power surge that occurs immediately after Geordi's command, I think we can reasonably assume that the ship's computer is devoting extraordinary amounts of resources to the programming of this simulation, something it usually does not do. So this is one more element for the case that Moriarty is special, a unique creation programmed in a method different from normal holodeck characters.

Another possible piece of information to take into account is that Data's involvement likely made this program unique. I've always imagined that, in telling the computer to confound Data, the ship's computer must've accessed Data's schematics to design such an opponent. Perhaps Moriarty was designed with a combination of simulated positronics and the holodeck's human drama character program. If so, it might explain why Moriarty was so radically different from other holodeck characters, and from Data himself.

Voyager's doctor is an interesting case in that, unlike normal holodeck characters who exist for entertainment's sake, an Emergency Medical Hologram may legitimately be expected to engage in the highest levels of logical thought in the course of triage and diagnosis. I brought up Google in my original post only to highlight the idea that engaging in intelligent analysis does not necessarily entail anything like emotion. Just as Google doesn't desire to be freed from the task of analysing webpage relevance to search engine queries (because Google doesn't feel anything), there's no reason to believe that an EMH has a psyche that wishes to be freed from the task of doctoring the ship.

To be even clearer, the EMH might:

a) have no phenomenological existence (like Google)

b) have a phenomenological existence that enjoys the work it has been created to do (like the Ameglian Major Cow at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe)

c) have a phenomenological existence that feels oppressed -- or to use your term, enslaved -- by the work it has been programmed to do.

My contention is that the

But where is the programmer who gave Moriarty those capabilities? A new Moriarty program wasn't created, the existing one was modified. That means the existing programming in the holodeck already had the ability to create self-aware persons rather than simulated personas.

I took the liberty of reading over the relevant parts of "Elementary, My Dear Data", and I don't think that's clear at all. Data himself modifies the program before Geordi gives the command to create an opponent who can "defeat" and "confound" Data, so it's possible that Data's input -- whatever it was -- was a necessary catalyst for this to occur, much like the Bynars' input was necessary to create the much more humanlike holodeck character of Minuet. Speaking of the Bynars, it's worth remembering that at the end of "11001001", the humanlike Minuet character was gone, and Riker was unable to create one like her. This is a piece of evidence that would seem to favor the argument that normal holodeck characters do not bear the richness of simulated minds.

Back to "My Dear Data": Given the power surge that occurs immediately after Geordi's command, I think we can reasonably assume that the ship's computer is devoting extraordinary amounts of resources to the programming of this simulation, something it usually does not do. So this is one more element for the case that Moriarty is special, a unique creation programmed in a method different from normal holodeck characters.

Another possible piece of information to take into account is that Data's involvement likely made this program unique. I've always imagined that, in telling the computer to confound Data, the ship's computer must've accessed Data's schematics to design such an opponent. Perhaps Moriarty was designed with a combination of simulated positronics and the holodeck's human drama character program. If so, it might explain why Moriarty was so radically different from other holodeck characters, and from Data himself.

Voyager's doctor is an interesting case in that, unlike normal holodeck characters who exist for entertainment's sake, an Emergency Medical Hologram may legitimately be expected to engage in the highest levels of logical thought in the course of triage and diagnosis. I brought up Google in my original post only to highlight the idea that engaging in intelligent analysis does not necessarily entail anything like emotion. Just as Google doesn't desire to be freed from the task of analysing webpage relevance to search engine queries (because Google doesn't feel anything), there's no reason to believe that an EMH has a psyche that wishes to be freed from the task of doctoring the ship.

To be even clearer, the EMH might:

a) have no phenomenological existence (like Google)

b) have a phenomenological existence that enjoys the work it has been created to do (like the Ameglian Major Cow at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe)

c) have a phenomenological existence that feels oppressed -- or to use your term, enslaved -- by the work it has been programmed to do.

My contention is that the

...they might take the time to watch the crap to see how crappy the crap is.

Especially if they make a South Park episode about it.

Jack and Patrick are huddled around a LARGE MONITOR displaying an OKUDAGRAM showing the contraction of the universe. Lauren luxuriates on the couch nearby, studying a PADD displaying a PICTURE of NOG that she called up from his personnel file.

JACK
The fact is that the universe is going to stop expanding and collapse in on itself. We've got to do something before it's too late.

Patrick's upset, but Lauren is more interested in Nog's picture.

PATRICK
How much time do we have left?

JACK
Sixty trillion years, seventy at the most.

PATRICK
(despondent)
Oh, no.

The moral of the story: don't worry about what you can't solve, and isn't even going to hurt you anyway.

"Given Google's push into the blogging space with their recent acquisition of Blogger it might be interesting to see how this shakes out."

You misspelled "marklar."

Male Nibblonian: For a thousand years, the evil brains have been constructing the giant Infosphere, a giant memory bank twice the size of three ordinary memory banks.

Fry: What's so evil about that?

Female Nibblonian: They plan to collect all the information in the universe and store it in the sphere.

Fry: So they're trying to learn things?

Female Nibblonian: Right.

Fry: Those bastards!

Nibbler: Being brains, they feel compelled to know everything. And soon they will.

Fry: I'm as mad as I've ever been.

Male Nibblonian: Once their task is complete, they will ensure no new information arises in the only way possible: by destroying the universe.

Fry: Now it's personal.

Yanked from here. Gotta love Futurama (:

Here in Germany only the first two episodes of season one aired (last week and this week). I used Twizz TV to read the rest and I became confused because of all the different relations. I somehow lost track about who was aunt/sister/daugther... That's why I did the diagram. I would not call myself "fan of The O.C.".

Seconded: Darin Morgan rocks my frickin' socks. A short, yet brilliant career. If you haven't, I'd recommend looking up the Millennium eps he wrote from season two: "Jose Chung's 'Doomsday Defense'" and "Somehow, Satan Got Behind Me".

"Once upon a time, two East Indian immigrants gave birth to a baby boy, whom they loved very dearly, yet nevertheless named 'Juggernaut Onan Goopta'..."

Well, you can read the scripts here and here, though reading them is a far cry from seeing the actual episodes.

--grendel drago

Seconded: Darin Morgan rocks my frickin' socks. A short, yet brilliant career. If you haven't, I'd recommend looking up the Millennium eps he wrote from season two: "Jose Chung's 'Doomsday Defense'" and "Somehow, Satan Got Behind Me".

"Once upon a time, two East Indian immigrants gave birth to a baby boy, whom they loved very dearly, yet nevertheless named 'Juggernaut Onan Goopta'..."

Well, you can read the scripts here and here, though reading them is a far cry from seeing the actual episodes.

--grendel drago

Don't overlook the AWESOM-O 4000

While not calling this undisputed evidence, this is a pretty fucking good evidence (as good as you can get without a paper trail) that there was not just "election fraud", but that the very basis of your society was fucking hijacked. Statistical nonsense is *not* considered evidence, and it is certainly NOT undisputed judging by the comments here today. The fact is that there are a number of issues that our country is polarized on and the person who can win over the most "swing" voters will take the country. No party would want to risk getting caught trying to rig something like that because it would seriously derail any message they hope to communicate. So the question - what you gonna do now? Will anything change? Well for one thing, I'm hoping we get better candidates next round. I had some big issues with both of them this year. I think South Park had it about right:

But Stan, don't you know, it's always between a giant douche and a turd sandwich. Nearly every election since the beginning of time has been between some douche and some turd. They're the only people who suck up enough to make it that far in politics.

In an episode of DS9, Wharf was directly asked about it (in the trouble with tribbles remake). And he just avoided the question by saying it was a "long story". It's sort of a trekkie joke because trekkies and most humans know that there is no explanation.

Lifted straight from the Deep Space 9 episode script for "Trials and Tribble-ations":

62 RESUME ODO'S TABLE

As the Waitress comes over.

WAITRESS What'll it be, boys? And don't ask for raktajino -- if I have to say we don't have that one more time...

ODO (suddenly very interested) Who ordered raktajino?

WAITRESS The Klingons.

Everyone except Worf looks around the room, mystified.

ODO Klingons?

WAITRESS Yes.

They still don't see any. Worf is getting increasingly uncomfortable.

WAITRESS (are you blind?) Right over there.

She points to the nearby table Bashir and O'Brien passed earlier. They turn and look with some surprise at the original series-style Klingons, who do not have the typical forehead ridges they're accustomed to seeing. Worf studies his drink as the others turn one and look at him for explanation.

BASHIR (to Worf) Those are Klingons?

WAITRESS All right. You boys have had enough.

The Waitress moves off.

ODO Mister Worf... ?

Worf looks up with discomfort at the three expectant faces.

WORF They are Klingons.

Three heads turn and look at the Klingons and then look back at Worf.

WORF It is a... long story.

O'BRIEN What happened? Some kind genetic engineering... ?

BASHIR A viral mutation... ?

WORF (defensive) We do not discuss it with outsiders.

Read the original script here.

Kevin "Clerks" Smith wrote a script which got ditched

If anyone is interested in reading the Kevin Smith script, it's here and here is a picture of Brandon Routh who will be playing superman in the 2006 movie.

This is an FCC Search and Destroy Vessel, stop your bluetooth spamming, or we will be forced to drop the f***in hammer!

Oh, that tears it, drop the f***in hammer!

Could you enlighten us on the proper way then? ;)
Dead easy.

BISHOP : Anybody remember how to defeat an electronic keypad?
INT. SNEAKER VAN.
WHISTLER : Uh oh.
CREASE : Don't even joke about that, Martin. Those things are impossible.
BISHOP : Think I'm joking? Looks like they just put it in.
CREASE : Oh boy!
MOTHER : Here, maybe this might help. An old buddy of mine that was in Desert Storm sent it to me. Of course, he was on the other side. He hands Crease a manual.
BISHOP (over radio) : Come on, Crease, there's got to be a way around these things!
CREASE: All right, all right. This might work.

INT. COOLIDGE INSTITUTE HALLWAYS.
Bishop listens carefully to Crease's detailed and lengthy instructions.

BISHOP : Yeah... yeah... above... yeah... right... uh huh... uh huh... yeah... right... yeah... Okay. I'll give it a shot.

Bishop kicks the door open with one good boot.

JANICE
I'm not obsessed, you know.

JOSH
I'm sorry?

JANICE
I'm not obsessed. I'm just a fan, and I care.

JOSH
What's your name again?

JANICE
Janice.

JOSH
I'm a fan. I'm a sports fan, I'm a music fan and I'm a Star Trek fan. All of them. But here's what I don't do. Tell me if any of this sounds familiar: "Let's list our ten favorite episodes. Let's list our least favorite episodes. Let's list our favorite galaxies. Let's make a chart to see how often our favorite galaxies appear in our favorite episodes. What Romulan would you most like to see coupled with a Cardassian and why? Let's spend a weekend talking about Romulans falling in love with Cardassians and then let's do it again." That's not being a fan. That's having a fetish. And I don't have a problem with that, except you can't bring your hobbies in to work, okay?

JANICE
Got it.

That depends. Are we talking about Top Ramen? Or one of its close cousins: Bottom, Up, Down, Charm or Strange Ramen?

(Mmmmm. Strange Ramen!)

My local store sells ramen for about $1 each. If you bought 500 packets of ramen and ate them all, one after the other, what would happen? Well that is something to which we already have the answer. You would enter a sort of mental fugue, and your perception of time would slow down to the point that you could finally read all those compiler warnings before they scroll out of view...