Posted by
ryuzaki0
on from the eat-that-suckers dept.
mattsucks writes "Reuters is reporting a story about the Beijing Evening News. Apparently, they too believe that everything they read on the internet is true, republishing a story from The Onion. Or at least one of their freelance writers believes it...." This is absolutely great.
278 comments
It could be worse...
by
magicsquid
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· Score: 5, Funny
At least they weren't fooled by stories like "This Just In: Bill Gates Buys Evil From Satan" or "Death Star Opens Day Care Center."
I can imagine them running through the streets of Beijing saying "Look at the size of that thing!" and "That's no moon!"
--
"Chances of RHIC-induced Armageddon are exceedingly rare, but... you never know." - MIT Physicist Bob Jaffe
I'd actually like to see someone take the Onion's kids explanation [theonion.com] of why the Sept. terrorist attacks happened seriously.
Good point. This is actually a very serious introduction to some of the key points of modern Islamic fundamentalism. When I first read it I went looked up Qutb. No other major media outlet that I know of has bothered to give people the starting point to actually find out how and why bin Laden came to be.
Ignore The Onion at your peril.
-- A well-crafted lie appears unquestionable - Dama Mahaleo
Re:Or
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
can you tell us why it happened, that attack?
Re:Or
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
No other major media outlet that I know of has bothered to give people the starting point to actually find out how and why bin Laden came to be.
Maybe you're reading the wrong sort of newspapers. The Guardian is one example of a serious news outlet that pondered this very subject.
So 'American' while also 'non-parody' would be the wrong sort of newspaper I suppose. But I see your point, good newspapers (the Christian Science Monitor had a good article about "Why do they hate us") did a good job. However, there was/is some major simiplfied BS on TV.
The Onion's post 9/11 coverage was at their best. That article about talking to your child could, I believe should, be taken seriously. At the same time its funny as it parodies some of the crap that was in the media at that time about how you can help your child through the crisis.
I'd actually like to see someone take the Onion's kids explanation of why the Sept. terrorist attacks happened seriously.
For anyone who hasn't seen it, the article "Talking To Your Child About the WTC Attack" is online. In fact, their entire "Holy Fucking Shit: America Under Attack" It's the single most brilliant issue of the Onion ever. It captured the fear, the uncertainly, the random lashing out. It reflected America in a way that no other news source had done. It managed to be respectful and sad, yet very funny. It was exactly what America needed.
The best part of that was the last paragraph - that you child will have questions that no "child" would think to ask, or care about. Young adult, maybe (but that's a stretch,) child, no.
I'd actually like to see someone take the Onion's kids explanation of why the Sept. terrorist attacks happened seriously.
I was trying to find the humor in this article, but I think it WAS a serious article. The only inaccuracy that I could find is that it implied that Afghanistan is an Arab nation, which it is not. But it's not a funny sort of inaccuracy. I guess the funniest thing about it is that it assumes the parent already knows all this and just needs help structuring an explanation for their child, when, in reality, probably 90% of Americans would learn something significant about the situation by reading it.
Reading The Onion is like reading Slashdot on April Fool's Day... most of it is false and intended to be funny, but you never know. Most of the The Onion's humor is just bluntly exposing some real factor of our society that most of us don't want to acknowledge - usually then taken to an extreme. There's an intellectual aspect to it that I've always appreciated.
-If
-- Run a pencil-and-paper RPG campaign with your far-off friends: Gametable!
On the radio lastnight as I was driving home.and almost crashed...
but anyways I guess this just shows that you have to choose a source carefully.. I mean who really needs a new capital with a retracting dome and stadium seating?
-- The greatest right given is the right to be wrong...
I mean who really needs a new capital with a retracting dome and stadium seating?
Duh! Its needed to allow them to escape the planet when everybody discovers the mess they created, and is after their blood. Without a retractable dome, the rockets underneath won't have quite the same effect.
Best Onion Headline...
by
dontod
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· Score: 4, Funny
Mr T to pity fool.
Don.
-- Slashdot - The Home of the Tortured Analogy
Re:Best Onion Headline...
by
doodleboy
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· Score: 1
Man waxes patriotic, truck.
!!!
Re:Best Onion Headline...
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
That one's good, but for my money the best use of comma-splice was:
In Our Dumb Century (one of the Onion compilation books) they also have a story about Mr. T announcing his "pity list" for that year (sort of a spoof on Mr. Blackwell's best and worst-dressed list).
June 07, 2002 09:59 AM ET Email this article Printer friendly version
BEIJING (Reuters) - Beijing's most popular newspaper has unwittingly republished a bogus story about U.S. Congress threats to skip town for Memphis or Charlotte unless Washington builds them a new Capitol building with a retractable dome.
The source? America's celebrated spoof tabloid, the Onion.
The Beijing Evening News, which claims a circulation of 1.25 million, translated portions of the Onion's tall tale word-for-word in the international news page of its June 3 edition.
The reprinted version of the May 29 article, which parodies Congress as a Major League Baseball squad, also copied the Onion's would-be blueprint for a new legislative home that resembles a ballpark. "Don't get us wrong: We love the drafty old building," the Onion quoted House Speaker Dennis Hastert as saying.
"But the hard reality is, it's no longer suitable for a world-class legislative branch. The sight lines are bad, there aren't enough concession stands or bathrooms, and the parking is miserable."
The spoof from the brazen entertainment tabloid, which dubs itself "America's finest news source," apparently took in the Evening News.
"The story was written by one of our freelance writers," an editor at the Evening News told Reuters on Friday. "His stuff has been pretty much reliable before."
The editor said he had received other calls from readers about the article. "They were also suspicious of the contents."
Told the story came from the Onion and was not true, the editor said, "We would first have to check that out. If it's indeed fake, I'm sure there will be some form of correction."
Re:The Story
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
"Redundant" is a bit harsh as a mod in this post, as the Reuters site likes to filter out web browsers that aren't "supported" (or don't spoof Netscape or Internet Explorer). This may exclude many privacy-protecting proxies like Internet Junkbuster, or Opera, Mozilla, and other browsers when they are configured to falsify the HTTP headers.
For me, reposting the article was a useful service. Maybe I'll log in and mod it up a notch.
Shameless Karma Whoring
by
ringbarer
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· Score: 3, Informative
In case anyone's interested, the Onion article is here! (No goatse.cx links, sorry!)
TOTALLY believable!
-- "Why did they cancel my favorite Sci-Fi show? I downloaded ALL the episodes!"
Re:Shameless Karma Whoring
by
cheezedawg
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· Score: 2, Insightful
Although this story is funny, I think its also a reflection of how the Chinese view the US. They view Americans as shallow and self-centered, and a story like this would jump out at them to confirm thier beliefs. Its like they wanted it to be true so they could say "See what dumb things those Americans are doing now!"
-- "The defense of freedom requires the advance of freedom" - George W Bush
Re:Shameless Karma Whoring
by
gfilion
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· Score: 1
From the article:
The leading candidates for a possible congressional relocation are Charlotte and Memphis, both of which have long sought a major organization to raise their national profile. [...] Dallas, Seattle, and Toronto have also been mentioned as long shots.
Great! the US Congress may move to Canada!
Can't beleive this journalist felt for that.
GFK's
Re:Shameless Karma Whoring
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Hello chief! Let's talk why not?
Re:Shameless Karma Whoring
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
The leading candidates for a possible congressional relocation are Charlotte and Memphis, both of which have long sought a major organization to raise their national profile. [...] Dallas, Seattle, and Toronto have also been mentioned as long shots.
And any American would known instantly if a supposed new site for the Chinese capital was actually in Korea.
I've proposed a new capital in AZ or NM, with an absolute ban on any form of air conditioning, but then, my home is a state where we only let the legislature meet a couple of months every other year (NV).
Exporting Congress is a great idea . . . but wouldn't the recipients regard it as an act of war?
hawk
Re:Shameless Karma Whoring
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
So what? Most Americans view the Chinese as brainwashed slaves. See, it all evens out.
I've proposed a new capital in AZ or NM, with an absolute ban on any form of air conditioning, but then, my home is a state where we only let the legislature meet a couple of months every other year (NV).
Exporting Congress is a great idea . . . but wouldn't the recipients regard it as an act of war?
Then we can really "BLAME CANADA!"
The Onion Story
by
Alien54
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· Score: 0, Redundant
The Onion stroy can be read in it's full glory here:
If you read it on the internet, you know its true!
This can't be correct. I just wrote on my homepage that I've got a fifty metres long queue of gorgeous women outside my front door, each one of them desperately seeking a ride on my fuckrod.
When I opened the door, there was noone there. Liar!
In, shall we say, less-developed countries, there is very low internet penetration. But the people who do have computers also have printers, and internet "news" from such stellar paragons of reliability as azzam.com and kavkaz.org is printed out and widely distributed. However, due to the internet's high-tech reputation as a worldwide communications net, simple peasants and villagers, as well as educated people who should know better, ascribe a credibility to internet news stories that Westerners would find to be astounding. After all, the internet runs on computers - how could such amazing machines tell lies all by themselves? Plus, the Islamic media would never lie, lying is against the teachings of the Koran. You should see the fantastic stories that are taken as Allah's honest truth, such as the hundreds of American special forces being held prisoner by the Taliban, and the AQ fighting unit formed by aforesaid prisoners who converted to Islam.
I can't emphasize this enough - for these people, this is what is happening. There was a warning telephoned to all the Jews who worked in the WTC not to come to work that day.
America is conspiring with India against Pakistan in order to open another front against Islam. In truth, the Islamists have been trying to start the first Indo-Pak war of this century frantically (parliament attack, kashmir provocations) so they can depose the Musharraf regime and sieze Pakstan's nuclear weapons for their own use. And use them they will...a nuclear deterrent only works if the other guy wants to live. We're losing the information war, badly.
A similar situation existed during operation Allied Force in Serbia. Serbian citizens believe to this day that they shot down dozens of Allied aircraft, including a B-2 and several F-117s, as well as capturing a damaged stealth fighter intact (it was immediately shipped to Russia for examination, of course, which is why it's not on display at the same Serbian military museum where the fragments of Capt. O'Grady's F-16 are).
-- Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
The onion has some of the best news there is anyway.
Actually I really enjoy how they poke fun at the ridiculousness of things that go on today. And they also do a good job, I really loved that "God clarifies his 'Thou shalt not kill' rule" article they had back in october.
Actually I really enjoy how they poke fun at the ridiculousness of things that go on today. And they also do a good job, I really loved that "God clarifies his 'Thou shalt not kill' rule" article they had back in october.
It was the September 27-October 3, 2001 issue, to be exact - the first published issue following September 11. I saved the paper copy of that issue - probably some of the best work that The Onion has ever produced. "Hijackers Surprised to Find Selves In Hell," "American Life Turns Into Bad Jerry Bruckheimer Movie," along with the article mentioned above.
As you read through it, you can just see the raw emotions in every article in that issue - it reminds me every day I look at it what that day was like.
Microsoft are bad.
by
Big+Dogs+Cock
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· Score: 0, Funny
I said Microsoft are bad. Mod me up. The proof is here.
-- "Under the iron bridge, we fist" - The Smiths, Still Ill
This is gunna cause huge problems
by
bobdown2001
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· Score: 1
Half of congress will want the dome open and half will want it closed.
Oh well I guess they'll be to busy arguing about it to come up with any more dumb laws like the DMCA;0)
-- Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?
Another news link
by
Skreech
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· Score: 2, Informative
This should have been an option since, if you will remember, Al Gore took the initiative in creating mathematics when he was in Congress.
Slashdot has done this before as well
by
GoatPigSheep
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· Score: 5, Insightful
More than once Slashdot has published stories from questionable sources which turned out to be completely false. Although it's inevitable for any site that uses reader submitions to sometimes publish hoax stories as it's hard to read every submition that is sent. However I've read many stories in newspapers here (not in china) that came from sources about as or less credible than the onion. China is relatively new to the internet so I suppose they haven't figured out which sites are the joke ones yet.
I guesse we could say: Beijing Newspaper. YHBT. YHL. HAND.
-- GoatPigSheep, the 3 most important food groups
Re:Slashdot has done this before as well
by
SethJohnson
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· Score: 2
The difference is that real journalists attribute everything. Since the editor at the Chinese newspaper wasn't aware of the Onion, etc. it appears this freelance writer simply plagarized the entire story. Slashdot does not plagarize stories because it ONLY references other published articles with the exception of
Jonathan Katz's work, which very well could be plagarizing pieces appearing in the Weekly World News. I'd strongly suspect this writer won't be working with that newspaper again.
Re:Slashdot has done this before as well
by
Geek+In+Training
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· Score: 2
More than once Slashdot has published stories from questionable sources which turned out to be completely false.
I just got an IM from somebody replying to this:
HELLO MY AMERICAN FRIENDs! THIS IS JUNIS FROM AFGHANISTAN! I AM NOW ABLE TO HAVE MUCH BETTER INTERNETTING, THANKS TO THE BANDWIDTH PROVIDED BY THE GREAT AMERICAN LIBERATORS! LONG LIVE THE COMMODORE 64!
Eat your heart out, JonKatz. I still haven't seen a retraction or an apology for perpetrating that one against our collective intellect.
-- SlashSigTheorem: Humorous, Political, Critical, Constructive- If you have a.sig, someone WILL complai
Re:Slashdot has done this before as well
by
Apotsy
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· Score: 2
Although it's inevitable for any site that uses reader submitions to sometimes publish hoax stories as it's hard to read every submition that is sent.
You don't have to check every story that's sent -- just the ones that you decide to actually post. That only amounts to a handful of stories per day.
Re:Slashdot has done this before as well
by
Rogerborg
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· Score: 5, Funny
More than once Slashdot has published stories from questionable sources which turned out to be completely false
Yeah, but this is completely different! The Beijing evening news is a for-profit publication with a staff of paid professional editors, whereas Slashdot is... no, wait... what was I saying again?
-- If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
Re:Slashdot has done this before as well
by
bruceFinding
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· Score: 1
A big problem today is that many journalists do not practice one of the basic tenets of journalism, namely, finding and checking the primary sources of the information. Often news organizations simply reproduce what other news organizations have published.
Re:Slashdot has done this before as well
by
RAVasquez
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· Score: 2, Informative
Slashdot does not plagarize stories because it ONLY references other published articles with the exception of Jonathan Katz's work, which very well could be plagarizing pieces appearing in the Weekly World News.
There's no need to trash Jonathan Katz's reputation. After all, he's a professional therapist, not a journalist. "Jon Katz," perhaps?
--
---
Work, worry, consume, die. It's a wonderful life. -- Bill Griffith
Re:Slashdot has done this before as well
by
liquidsin
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· Score: 5, Funny
No, no, you were right...this IS completely different. As you said, the Beijing news is run by professional editors...
-- do not read this line twice.
Re:Slashdot has done this before as well
by
p_trinli
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· Score: 1
You call people like Taco professional? These clowns can't master high school grammar. They post duplicate stories. Their HTML is abhorently out of date.
Professional? Bahahaha!
Re:Slashdot has done this before as well
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hymie3
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· Score: 1
aw, dude, you made me spit coke all over my monitor
Re:Slashdot has done this before as well
by
Loligo
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· Score: 1
>The Beijing evening news is a for-profit publication
Isn't the Beijing paper in question a state-run publication, hence NOT a money-making venture?
Re:Slashdot has done this before as well
by
david_e_v
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· Score: 1
Do you mean that the staff at/. work just for fun? Don't be naive, please!
The best part is there Ask a...
by
Disevidence
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· Score: 1, Flamebait
Ask a conspiracy theorist... the onion's version of Ask Slasdot.
Re:How is this news for nerds?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
but I do not see what this is doing on slashdot
Someone submitted the story, so at least one person disagrees with you. The editor realized that at least one person thought this was worthy of Slashdot and decided to approve it. Actually though, with most stories (even the ones you don't like) tons of people submit the info, so I'd be suprised if it was only the one guy.
Sorry that they didn't do what you want, but you could always start your own damn website.:)
Re:How is this news for nerds?
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abat
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· Score: 1
Three words: "Stuff that matters."
Re:How is this news for nerds?
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
i guess i can see why it would be posted, but jesus this was news on thursday.
Slashdot:OLDSfor Nerds. Stuff that used to matter.
Re:How is this news for nerds?
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CodeMonky
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· Score: 2
Exactly why doesn't it belong on slashdot? Because mainstream media also covered it? Because mainstream media covered it first? It certainly can't be because of the content because that absolutely fits slashdot, a story about an actual established paper printing something it read on the internet only to find out it was a spoof article. That is most definately slashdot material. Hell slashdot does it all the time.
-- --"Karma is justice without the satisfaction"
Re:How is this news for nerds?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Honestly, after seeing the kind of shit a "democratic story acceptance system" breeds, I think we're better off with cmdrtaco and all his faults. Stories on kuro5hin are frequently killed for trivial things like a single capitalization error or a split infinitive. While I'm something of a grammar nazi myself, I find this ridiculous. If you'd like democratic story submission, go there and see for yourself how shitty it is.
Personally, I would like it if Michael stopped posting stories with his inane comments, and if CmdrTaco used a spell- and grammar-checker, and if stories stopped being duplicated within the week, as this demonstrates that none of the editors even bother reading Slashdot themselves (running a story from 6 months ago is understandable, however).
In any case, I used to think voting for stories would be a good thing, and for a while k5 was a good site. Now it is filled with anti-American drivel and other would-be punditry that I find quite distasteful, boring, and not newsworthy at all. The comments are worse than the trolls on Slashdot because the writers of the comments actually believe what they're writing, whereas the trolls are just there to annoy.
Re:How is this news for nerds?
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MadFarmAnimalz
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· Score: 1
I must respectfully disagree, CodeMonky.
Because mainstream media covered it first? Nope, nothing to do with it. What I'm saying is that I go to mainstream media sites for this kind of news, and I come to/. for another kind.
That is most definately slashdot material. Hell slashdot does it all the time. Well, if/. does it all of the time is it news? Conceivably, this could be news the first time or three around, but we're well past that.
Re:How is this news for nerds?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0, Troll
kikes and sand niggers are not "stuff that matters", they are "stuff that should be raped and slaughtered"
Are you a kike or sand nigger mr MadFarmAnimalz.. oh wait you must rape cows, so you're just a white guy from Alabama.
Re:How is this news for nerds?
by
Ilgaz
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· Score: 1
Its just a political unsuscessful story. Like "Communist, controlled media morons got spoofed"
How about making a IQ poll on slashdot?
I wonder if anyone remembers the F-Prot (2.x?) DOS versions virus database, it had hoax stories. Some unbeliavable moronic hoaxes made news on Washington Post etc too...
This is "oddly enough" news. Laugh... But seems a bit political "oddly enough"...
Nobody likes China's current political system. You could be brave and make some real news about China, not "look, how moron is communist newspapers" stories.
Re:How is this news for nerds?
by
stinky+wizzleteats
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· Score: 0, Flamebait
Yet another testament to the need for a more democratic story acceptance system.
Yeah, because K5's stories are really good. I really like the current offering about how to get fat, and, surprisingly enough, they currently have another story about global warming.
Re:How is this news for nerds?
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Zebbers
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· Score: 0, Redundant
keyword, coward.:)
Re:How is this news for nerds?
by
stinky+wizzleteats
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· Score: 0, Troll
This story's current moderation score on K5: 95
(It's been voted to the front page)
Re:How is this news for nerds?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
item for the metamods to take into consideration:
this was scored at +3 informative at the time of this posting.
Re:How is this news for nerds?
by
rifter
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· Score: 1
Nobody likes China's current political system.
Oh, I wouldn't go that far... I'd imagine a few old guarders up in Beijing like it very well.
Fear. Uncertainty. Doubt. The Onion.
by
An+Onerous+Coward
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· Score: 5, Funny
I remember a hilarious letter to Readers Digest, complaining that they shouldn't be giving any publicity to avowed Satanist J.K. Rowling. The woman's source for her numerous quotes? You guessed it. She gave the URL of the story to anyone looking for further information.
The staff of Readers Digest was kind enough to point out the woman's error.
--
You want the truthiness? You can't handle the truthiness!
On the same page there was an article saying something like "sexual tension between sharon and arafat reaches breaking point" and was about them kissing. Of course maybe I'm giving them way too much credit for intelligence
I think his point is that Beijing News must have known the Capitol story was a joke because other stories on the front page were clearly jokes as well.
-- "Well kids, you tried your best, and you failed. The lesson is, never try."
After all, the poll was about the most popular mathematical al-gore-rithm.
--
--
If you moderate this, then your children will be next.
Translation of beijing evening news article
by
gargle
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· Score: 1, Redundant
I've translated the beijing evening news article from chinese:
Translated from http://www.ben.com.cn/WLZB/20020603/GB/WLZB^357^7^ 03R1101.htm
WASHINGTON, DC--Calling the current U.S. Capitol "inadequate and obsolete," Congress will relocate to Charlotte or Memphis if its demands for a new, state-of-the-art facility are not met, leaders announced Monday.
Above: An architectural firm's proposal for a new retractable-dome capitol. Inset: Hastert addresses reporters.
"Don't get us wrong: We love the drafty old building," Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert (R-IL) said. "But the hard reality is, it's no longer suitable for a world-class legislative branch. The sight lines are bad, there aren't enough concession stands or bathrooms, and the parking is miserable. It hurts to say, but the capitol's time has come and gone."
"If we want to stay competitive, we need to upgrade," said House Minority Leader Dick Gephardt (D-MO), who has proposed a new $3.5 billion capitol on the site of the current edifice. "Look at British Parliament. Look at the Vatican. Respected institutions in their markets. But without modern facilities, they've been having big problems attracting top talent."
Its cornerstone laid in 1793 by President Washington, the capitol has been built, rebuilt, extended, and restored countless times over the past 209 years. Legislators say another multimillion-dollar renovation is not an acceptable alternative to a new building.
"How many times can you put a fresh coat of paint over an old, broken-down horse?" asked Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA), co-chair of the Senate Relocation Subcommittee. "We need a building that befits our status as the nation's number-one democratically elected legislative body. And if D.C. isn't willing to provide that, I can think of plenty of other cities that would be more than happy to."
The leading candidates for a possible congressional relocation are Charlotte and Memphis, both of which have long sought a major organization to raise their national profile. San Francisco civic leaders have also lobbied hard, offering to finance a $4 billion Pac Bell Capitol Building using a combination of private corporate funds (40 percent), a county sales tax (35 percent), and a local cigarette tax (25 percent). Dallas, Seattle, and Toronto have also been mentioned as long shots.
Demonstrating its commitment to "stay in Washington if at all possible," Congress has invited more than a dozen architectural firms to submit proposals for a new D.C. capitol. Among the early favorites is the ambitiously titled "Halls Of Power," a retro-futuristic design by the Kansas City architectural firm of Hellmuth, Obata, and Kassabaum. The Halls Of Power would feature a retractable rotunda for daytime sessions, a Dancing Waters fountain in the front courtyard, and 55 more luxury boxes than the current building.
"This is just the kind of thing we need to stay competitive in today's lawmaking environment," said agent Barry Halperin, who represents many prominent government officials, including Sen. Jim Jeffords (I-VT) and Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. "Washington can no longer afford to ignore the fact that visitor attendance has dropped every year since 1989. Our elected officials don't like coming to this building and, clearly, neither do their constituents."
Experts attribute the decline in congressional attendance to a number of factors, including increased home viewership of legislative activities on C-SPAN, with which Congress signed an exclusive 20-year, $360 million broadcast pact in 1984. It is not known how a new capitol building would affect the terms of that soon-to-expire contract, but Congress is expected to restructure the deal to increase its share of revenues and secure possible advertising rights, regardless of whether it opts for rebuilding or relocation.
According to the lawmakers' constituents, the capitol is not the problem.
"Sure, the capitol's a little beat-up, but it's got its charms," said Geoff Lapointe, a Glendale, CA, voter. "The real problem is the legislators. Back in the old days, you had big stars like John Kennedy and Richard Nixon. Who've they got today? Evan Bayh? Paul Sarbanes? Who's gonna get excited about those guys?"
Lapointe said he is "fed up" with the legislators and their demands.
"Those guys are all just a bunch of spoiled, overpaid crybabies," Lapointe said. "All they want is money--they don't care about all the hardworking people who pay their salaries. Look at 'em: When's the last time you saw them acting like a team? They can take their capitol and shove it."
I what I find even more funny, is that (according to FOX news) the paper countinues to claim that it properly followed up and checked the sources and when Fox reporters questioned them about it, they simply replied (I'm paraphrasing) "How do you know our reporters didn't make calls to confirm this story?"
-- Business News and Resources: www.usasource.net
Re:Even funnier...
by
GigsVT
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· Score: 0, Offtopic
FOX news is just using this as a play for credibility I'm sure.
FOX News Manager: Is there anyone that screws up as bad as we do?
Reporter: Well this China newspaper reported a parody story as true...
Manager: That's great! It'll make us look like a real news outlet compared to them, lets milk this like a presidential scandal.
Reporter: I'm on it. I think I'll interview random Slashdotters first.
-- I've had enough abrasive sigs. Kittens are cute and fuzzy.
Re:Even funnier...
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Oh, I know, those terrible kids over at Fox. Where did they get the idea that a news outlet could show two sides of a story? Don't they know they're supposed to just parrot the Washington Post's editorial line?
Very true. Makes one wonder how many times Western news organizations have used the same jedi mind trick on people who questioned the veracity of their stories.
-- Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
The Department of Homeland Security is required by law to notify you that you have been identified as a terrorist threat and your recent post (3664644) has been logged in your e-dossier.
The Department of Homeland Security is also required to notify you that you may access your e-dossier through the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA).
Re:ATTENTION 560160
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
I'm gonna assume that was an attempt at humor. But in 2002, the ludicrous and legitimate have blurred into an indistinguishable mass of official policy. Reminfs me of how, after being stopped at a roadside "safety checkpoint", your car can be searched because you have gum wrappers in your ashtray (the assumption being they might be rolling papers).
The parent is both absurd and indistinguishable from a real world scenerio. Therefore, reality itself has been reduced to the absurd. Be afraid.
"Integrity Shmentegrity, I don't understand journalists' obsessive-compulsive desire to get every little number correct. I mean, this is Journalism, not Rocket Science. We're here to entertain the masses, not put men on the goddamned moon." -- Me at my job interview for the Nevada Appeal. Guess who's still unemployed?
-- Why is it when I hit ^R that ZSH calls me a cocksucker?
They Fell For That Old Sham?
by
bgs006
·
· Score: 2, Funny
Dear Chinese Reporter,
In case you were looking for more news to reprint about the stupidness that is America, here are some other leads you might want to follow: 1) America is stupid 2) No, seriously. Just put that up as your headline and your readers will believe it. Though you might get letters berating you for not being mean enough. 3) And despite that win the other day, we still suck at soccer. 4) And we're all very, very gay. 5) And completely against education, sewer systems, organized government and hygiene. 6) And we find Jay Leno to be absolutely hilarious.
If only number six weren't true. -Brandon
I don't know why they picked up the Onion story. This one's more believable.
Re:They Fell For That Old Sham?
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
Isn't that what Japan thought about the U.S. just before World War II?
"The story was written by one of our freelance writers," an editor at the Evening News told Reuters on Friday. "His stuff has been pretty much reliable before."
I sure give those blokes a call for a consultation should I ever have to hire a reliable journalist.
Kuro5hin.org, the proof of concept democratic group blog, has already posted this, a few days earlier than slashdot. It got voted to front page.
So what? Kuro5hin's "democratic group" concept is flawed. Just try to submit a story, and most times, it'll be rejected for asinine things like a typo, or maybe enough people just didn't agree with the story.
Ever hear the statement "Too many cooks spoil the broth?" That's Kuro5hin for you.
--
--
The real Raunchola isn't cool enough to have any imposters
Hey, I never said it whether was flawed or not, good or bad, perfect or imperfect. I just said it was a proof of concept. And as for "So what" - well, it was a counter example to the original post which requested more democracy in Slashdot story posting process. That's 'what'.
tlhf
xxx
Re:Democracy won't help
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
Ah yes, K5. The website whose only sense of self is "We're not Slashdot! Really, we're not! And we'll tell you about it over and over even if you don't ask us!"
They don't really stand for anything other than being "! Slashdot".
Re:Democracy won't help
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Kuro5hin is interesting and it is a great news site... But somehow, Slashdot is still my #1 choice./. is not perfect, (duplicate stories, spelling and grammar errors, trolls and blabla...), but who cares when this site is enjoyable. It is fun, and it provides me with the tech/comp/sci news that they consider to be the important/funny/interesting ones. Every day, day and night. (And just think about how boring life would be without the daily dose of funny and witty trolls, Natalie Portman and Beowulf clusters:-) )
I can honestly say; I love Slashdot. It is the best, it is the original. Would it disappear, the void would be great!
Re:Democracy won't help
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
asinine things like a typo
K5 stories are rarely rejected unless they have a large number of typos, in which case the author is free to fix them and resubmit. If it's a good story, it'll get voted up the second time.
maybe enough people just didn't agree with the story
Ummm... that's exectly what a democratic group is for. If no one likes the story, of course it'll get rejected. However, most k5ers will vote up a good story even if they disagree with it, because they know it'll start a good discussion.
--damiam (posting anon so as not to undo my mods in this story)
What I do know is that I hope the journalist in question would copy the "How do you know I didn't call to confirm this?" response.
No accident.
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Safe to assume large information sources in China are carefully screened. Public probably has a hard time understanding US satire, and some information editor probably thought people would believe it a face value.
Rather than seeing this as some funny goof some Chinese newspaper made, you might consider at what lengths the Chinese government is going to negatively portray American society.
Not only is it funny, but also deeply insightful, even for an atheist like me.
-- Reality has a liberal bias
Re:While we're talking about the Onion...
by
Starcub
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· Score: 0
"I tried to put it in the simplest possible terms for you people, so you'd get it straight, because I thought it was pretty important," said God, called Yahweh and Allah respectively in the Judaic and Muslim traditions. "I guess I figured I'd left no real room for confusion after putting it in a four-word sentence with one-syllable words, on the tablets I gave to Moses. How much more clear can I get?"
Now that was good!
Re:While we're talking about the Onion...
by
deadl0ck
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· Score: 1
god_clarifies_do nt_kill.html
Oh ya, that was funny. Except when I read the link with the space in it, I thought it was going to be a story about god as Yoda and he was an MS hater.
-- --
Re:While we're talking about the Onion...
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Very sorry, that's incorrect. *This* is the best Onion article ever:
"The most recent, clearest sign of the Second Deluge came last Thursday, when a tersely worded press statement from God's angelic hosts ominously stated, 'If there are any species native to the area that you would prefer not to see go extinct, we strongly suggest you begin gathering them two by two.'"
Re:While we're talking about the Onion...
by
rueba
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· Score: 1
LMAO!! Thanks for the link.
-- The only reason all cover-ups appear to fail is that you never hear about the ones that succeed.
Spoofed?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Does anyone use the word spoofed to mean deceived any more?
Lifting articles in China
by
jkastner
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· Score: 2, Informative
My girlfriend's sister is editor of Buisness China, a Shanghai based Economist publication (in English) which comes out every fortnight. She is always having to watch out for her freelancers lifting articles from other English language sources. The freelancers figure that they are so far off the beaten track they can get away with it. But they quickly find out how much she reads.
Wow!
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
As we say in/. English, Slenglish I guess:
That's REDICULOUS!
Factual Error Found on Internet
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 1, Interesting
Unfortunately, the page seems to be gone now, but the onion ran this just a couple of weeks ago:
Factual Error Found on Internet
"The Information Age was dealt a stunning blow Monday, when a factual error was discovered on the Internet. The error was found on TedsUltimateBradyBunch.com, a Brady Bunch fan site that incorrectly listed the show's debut year as 1968, not 1969.
"Caryn Wisniewski, a Pueblo, CO, legal secretary and diehard Brady Bunch fan, came across the mistake while searching for information about the show's first-season cast."
Funny Thing is...
by
Knoxvill3
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· Score: 2, Funny
I wonder how many Members of the Chinese government now have dreams of a Retractable Dome of their own. The Onion may have unwittingly kicked of a international contest between our governments.
"Nyah! Nyah! My Domes Bigger than Yooourrrs!"
Or Not.
-- ====== Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
- Euripides
Maybe a dome in Beijing will attract some of our "top talent" away, leaving room for rookies and semi-retired politicians in their wake? God.. One can only hope.
My coworkers believed the "Post Office 5 cent e-ma
by
doublem
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· Score: 3, Interesting
I still remember the damn fool local DJs reading the "Post office wants to levy a 5 cent tax on each e-mail" story as real. Most of my coworkers were in a panic and complaining bitterly. I printed up disclaimers debunking the story from the US Post Office's web site, among other locations.
Sadly, my coworkers insisted that the post office must be lying, because "They wouldn't put it on the radio if it weren't true!" (Yes, that is a real quote)
It was read on WAAF (bottom of the dung pile "rock" station) by "Mistress Carrie" for crying out loud!
And then there was the time Hillary Clinton was asked about her stance on the bill during an interview...
-- "Live Free or Die." Don't like it? Then keep out of the USA
Plagarism through translation
by
SgtChaireBourne
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· Score: 2
It flows both ways, I've seen a number of books in English with material ripped straight out of Chinese books. This will happen until there are enough people reading both Chinese and Englsh sources. BTW, reading Chinese isn't as hard as you think. After all, you've learned all the nasty little icons on your desktop and productivity applications. Besides, it may be useful or essential knowledge for computing depending on how OSS development goes in China & E. Asia.
Working with some european and east european mathematics journals brought up an anecdote about a mathematician who'd made a multi-decade academic career though translating material from an east european mathematician and publishing it in the west under his own name. His day was rained on when the Iron Curtain came down and the original material became available.
-- Beta is broken and the link to classic doesn't work. Stop wasting our time or there won't be anybody left here.
Re:Plagarism through translation
by
jrp2
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· Score: 2, Funny
After all, you've learned all the nasty little icons on your desktop and productivity applications.
Speak for yourself, dude. I got this key on my keyboard (actually 2 of them right next to the "alt" keys) that have an icon I think is supposed to be a landscaping truck turned into a "just married" limo dragging a bunch of cans driven by some drunk swerving a bit. Never have been able to figure out what they are for. Press either one, nothing happens.;)
-- The only athletic sport I ever mastered was backgammon - Douglas William Jerrold
Well, if Al Gore ever start a jass-band. He can call it Al-Gore-Rythm
I buy that record!
-- Just saying it like it are.
Onion founder's former comments on the issue
by
afflatus_com
·
· Score: 5, Interesting
The founder of the Onion was on Jay Leno a while back and discussed the problem at length.
He said that the biggest problem was email forwards from people who consider it a news release, and in the email there is not the rest of the onion's site for context, so people don't know it is a parody.
He said the 2 that generated the most amount of letters from concerned citizens, up to that point in time, was "Chinese woman gives birth to septuplets, doesn't know which one to keep" and "New York to install infant-only dumpsters".
--
----- Cast a Cold Eye On Life, on Death Horseman, pass by --W.B. Yeats' gravestone
Re:Onion founder's former comments on the issue
by
Alsee
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· Score: 2
New York to install infant-only dumpsters
Ah, yes. I can understand how someone wouldn't realize that as humor if they weren't aware of the context.
-
-- - - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
haha, stupid girls at school
by
Beowulf_Boy
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· Score: 2
There was the girl in my Chem class, we were researching experiments to do for a class project. All of a sudden, I hear "Oh my god, Bill Nye is dead, I didn't know that!" I was laughing my ass off, half the class we talking about it, and about how good of shows he had, and how sad it was, even the teacher believed it. When I walked over to see what the commotion was about, I nearly wet myself.
Re:haha, stupid girls at school
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Just read this thread and you will know everything about this guy.
#@~zinc~@#{Beowulf-Boy-Slashdot-AC-reply} ^---ignore this, it is for the bots.
Needs to learn his geography
by
Peyna
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· Score: 2
Even if you believed the part about wanting to relocate, I don't think there is any chance that Congress would relocate to TORONTO: Dallas, Seattle, and Toronto have also been mentioned as long shots.
-- What?
Re:Needs to learn his geography
by
tb3
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· Score: 2, Flamebait
And why not? We've got a decent exchange rate, an amiable climate, and better beer.
Re:Needs to learn his geography
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Blame Canada!
Re:Needs to learn his geography
by
Gaijinator
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· Score: 1
Look at it this way: if Congress moved to Toronto, they still wouldn't be in any of the fifty states, which is why the government made D.C. in the first place.
-- "For success, it is essential you have Thunderball Fists." "I can have such a thing?" "That's right. Thunderball Fists."
Re:Needs to learn his geography
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
(Oh yeah, we're not in the U.S. Never mind.)
Yet. (snicker.)
Re:Needs to learn his geography
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
New miranda rights: You have the right to remain silent, eh?
Re:Needs to learn his geography
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Do you need to have the word 'joke' explained to you? I can use small words so it's easier to understand...
Sounds Familiar ...
by
Batou
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· Score: 3, Interesting
I have a very-muched-loved-yet-altogether-nuts-over-religio n uncle that used to send out his own newsletter giving news from the Christian coalition mindset kind of thing. Used to annoy the hell out of me that he somehow thought that he assumed I wanted to be filled in and take action against evolution being taught in schools and such, but it wasn't worth the confrontation to tell him to STFU.
Well. One of these things he sent me a few years ago was about how the Harry Potter books were teaching our kids satanism and witchcraft and such. Now this thing was sent in all seriousness, with quotes from children (something about sucking Satan's "gigantic black cock", I don't quite recall). Anyway, he was dead serious that this was a problem that all "good christians" should take immediate action against.
Now I would normally just delete these things after getting a good laugh, since I really do like the guy despite this kind of evangelical nonsense. What caught my eye was the link to the article he was quoting from - it was (ta da) from The Onion. I nearly fell out of my chair at work from laughing so hard.
-- "Oh my God! The dead have risen! And they're voting Republican!"
- Bart Simpson
This makes me wonder....
by
phillymjs
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· Score: 3, Funny
Are they actually doing their own R&D, or just feverishly combing the Internet trying to find out how to make Cavorite?
~Philly
Good news...
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
At least we know now that the Onion can be reached through the Great Firewall!:)
Holy Fucking Shit
by
Bonker
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· Score: 5, Interesting
As you read through it, you can just see the raw emotions in every article in that issue - it reminds me every day I look at it what that day was like.
The Holy Fucking Shit edition of The Onion was one of the finest pieces of literature serious or satirical published about the September 11 bombings. Before the HFS edition, I merely thought The Onion was funny. Afterwards, I respected The Onion.
In the middle of all the hysteria, screaming panic, and horror, The Onion *dared* to go in and examine the ridiculousness of not only what had happened but what was happening because of it.
Good work guys!
-- The next Slashdot story will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and slashdot the links early!
That's what I thought too. I actually read a "critique" shortly afterwards from some dipshit who thought that the onion had changed and wasn't being as edgy as they normally are. It was a delicate situation, and they managed to make people laugh about it without being disrespectful. I had been reading the onion for years, but after that, much like you, I actually *respected* them for more than just their humour.
I remember anxiously waiting two weeks to see
how The Onion would deal with September 11th.
They delivered a solid, well-rounded satyrical
critique of the situation
(especially with "U.S. Vows To Defeat Whoever It Is We're At War With"
and "Gen X Irony, Cynicism May Be Permanently Obsolete"
and "A Shattered Nation Longs To Care About Stupid Bullshit Again").
However, I couldn't help but think that the stories
were basically well-behaved, staying with certain
unseen social guidelines. As an example, consider
how they handled the religious aspect of the
hijackings: neither "God Angrily Clarifies
'Don't Kill' Rule" nor "Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell"
pulls those gut-wrenching, introspective punches
that we expect out of satire. Certainly nothing
like their God Answers Prayers Of Paralyzed Little Boy: 'No,' Says God story.
Most non-typical is the Hijackers in Hell article:
it revels in describing the torments
of the hijackers, on and on, as if The Onion's
staff were venting their own anger in a gluttony
of torture fantasies. Instead of challenging
the social consenus here, they re-affirm and
encourage it.
The Onion handled September 11th in a reserved, thoughtful way.
I was kinda hoping for a more twisted, cynical
view on the situation.
I'm surprised no one has pointed out how ironic this story is on/.
We're reading a story on a niche news site about a story on a popular news site about a story in a major newspaper (albeit in China) taken from a site that lampoons the news.
This happened to me as well. Several days at the beginning of last year, the Onion Article was being passed around via email some of the more religious young women at my office. The hell of it was that it had been forwarded to the 'Local Christian E-Mail Distribution Officer' by a prominent local pastor.
They *Bought* this, hook, line, and sinker.
-- The next Slashdot story will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and slashdot the links early!
Not as stupid as you may think..
by
rehabdoll
·
· Score: 2, Funny
Because the rest of the world would not be surprised if it were true!
Item! Hold onto your hats, everyone, because this is the Big One. From one of my better sources, who must obviously remain nameless, I've learned that there is going to be another Star Wars movie! Plot details about Star Wars 4 are extremely sketchy, but from what I understand, Luke and Laura have to find a magic potion that was hidden by Boba Fett, Darth Vader's son-in-law, in order to save their home planet from space drug dealers. It's good to know that Steven Spielberg still has the magic touch. Stay tuned for more info. And may The Force be with you and your loved ones! Link
But I think this demonstrates that satire sites should carry warnings. After all, remember that adequacy article "is your son a computer hacker?". 7000+ people were taken in by it.
Imagine if the Chinese read in a "satire" site that the US was going to nuke them, and they believed it!
I would rather be on the safe side here, even if people's free speech needs to be curtailed just a little bit.
Slashdot spoofed by Daryl Carpenter!
by
Mulletproof
·
· Score: 1
It turns out that Slashdot was spoofed into printing a story on an already year old bad movie. They too believe that everything they read on the internet is true, republishing a story from Carpenter. Or at least one of their freelance writers believes it.... Micheal was reported as saying, "This is absolutely great."
The entire nation of China was/.ed as people search for the origonal story on-line
Artist's Rendering of New Capital
by
JANIT0R
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· Score: 1
is amusing, but recognizing its base as the proposed ballpark for the St. Louis Cardinals makes it appear a little odd.
Re:Artist's Rendering of New Capital
by
M-G
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· Score: 2
Yep. In fact, the St. Louis Post Dispatch even ran this article on the op-ed page a couple of weeks ago with the illustration. So the freelance writer for the Beijing paper could have actually stumbled across it in the Post. Now, the Post fully credited The Onion for it, but it's possible that if this guy did see it in the Post, he may not have caught that.
What makes it all funnier than shit is that the Post has been strongly backing public financing of the ballpark, and they claim it has nothing to do with their parent company having an ownership stake in the team.....so for them to actually print this parody was suprising.
How is this newsworthy?
by
MImeKillEr
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· Score: 1
This got posted and my submission of AudioGalaxy got denied. I may be biased (since I submitted it) but I'd think AudioGalaxy getting sued in the same manner that Napster did would've been more newsworthy.
Mod away - I don't care about my karma level....
-- Cruising the internet on my TI-99/4A @ a whopping 300 baud!
Re:Fear. Uncertainty. Doubt. The Onion.
by
ealar+dlanvuli
·
· Score: 0, Offtopic
whats gona suck is when US soccer degrades to Football level. BTW who is the moron that goes 'were making a new sport, lets name it identical to that one in europe, and rename our version of that since we dont play it'
-- I live in a giant bucket.
Re:Fear. Uncertainty. Doubt. The Onion.
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0, Informative
No, I mean football... as in: a sport played right across the world with the *feet* and a ball.
American Football is rugby for padded-up homosexuals.
blocked by crapware =/
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
SmartFilterWhere(TM) for SmartFilter(TM) V3 confirms that the URL(s) you have entered are currently listed in the SmartFilter V3 Control List Categories shown below.
www.theonion.com Extreme,Gen. News
"SmartFilter" is lame:(
Re:blocked by crapware =/
by
minesweeper
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· Score: 1
Can you get to the Onion's story through the Google Cache?
Just think what news they would report if they had not blocked access to Washington Post and CNN.:-)
Guess they didn't peel the onion.
-- Will work for bandwidth
Doctors can remove that for you, you know...
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
... You know what I mean. And then you can sit comfortably again.
Browser incompatibility... :-(
by
avel599
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· Score: 1
Reuters:
We're sorry, but your browser is not compatible with our site. You can download a newer browser from one of the following links:(button directing to http://home.netscape.com/comprod/mirror/index.html )
I would think that their site is not compatible with my junkbuster proxy. At least there's the story at The Onion.:)
If you think the Chinese are gullible, the US is..
by
Easy2RememberNick
·
· Score: 5, Funny
Well if you think the Chinese are gullible then you should watch "Talking With Americans" by Rick Mercer. Rick is a Canadian comedian who interviews Americans in the US posing as a Canadian journalist (which is he is). He interviews regular people, politicians, anyone. He'll stun them with facts like we just got indoor plumbing, paved roads, tv, the 24 hour clock...lmao and the people believe it! It's so stupid how could anyone believe it!!!
It says somwthing more
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
It's difficult to tell whether the Beijing News published it as a joke or not. If they took it seriously, think about what it implies about how poorly they understand the U.S. This poor understanding is in a country with which the U.S. is increasingly finding itself in confrontation. Such poor understanding could well contribute to a confrontation escalating to war. We all like to think that the Internet will contribute to better, not worse, understanding, but it certainly didn't in this case.
One of the Onion's greatest stories...
by
minesweeper
·
· Score: 2, Funny
...was published right after the 2000 elections when we didn't know who the next president would be.
Within days of election night, The Onion came out with one of its greatest stories ever: Bush Or Gore: 'A New Era Dawns', accurately satirizing just how similar the two candidates were.
Re:One of the Onion's greatest stories...
by
adavidw
·
· Score: 2, Insightful
The poster's slightly mistaken. The really funny part of this story was the fact that it was posted BEFORE the election. Late in the evening on election day we were starting to realize how prescient it really was.
-Aaron
Re:Fear. Uncertainty. Doubt. The Onion.
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
GoAT.
According to this page, American football developed from what the US now considers soccer.
This reminds me of a classmate that did a project on the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide. Their source, dhmo.org, was another well known internet spoof.
Heh, I remember this one was printed in Analog... April 1994, I think. It was hilarious and looked really professional, but according to the editors response to the (amused) letters a couple months after, neither the magazine nor the makers of the dhmo spoof were responsible. Too bad it hadn't been published in a mag whose readers would've been fooled...
Satire and Freedom of Speech
by
fprefect
·
· Score: 3, Insightful
The thing that struck me here was not "how could they believe what they read in the Onion?", but "is there a segment of the Chinese that takes anything in print as fact?"
In our open society, we take freedom of the press to the extreme by publishing just about anything. It forces people to read news with a critical eye, which carries over to various aspects of out life. In a society where all information and editorial is controlled and filtered heavily, is it a surprise that "news" and "critical thinking" don't always go hand in hand.
I'm not trying to slight the Chinese here, I'm sure there are plenty of US Citizens who pick up the Onion and believe it as fact -- I'm sure it would confuse the heck out of my grandmother. And how many times have you seen someone repost a good April Fools joke as fact?
So yes, it's funny, but apply your critical thinking and take it in context -- that the world is full of gullible people.
--
Matt Slot / Bitwise Operator / Ambrosia Software, Inc.
Re:Satire and Freedom of Speech
by
Dephex+Twin
·
· Score: 2
So yes, it's funny, but apply your critical thinking and take it in context -- that the world is full of gullible people.
Yes, and we hope that those on the more gullible end are not our journalists for major newspapers.
(That's the *real* context.)
mark
--
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. -- Carl Sagan
Re:If you think the Chinese are gullible, the US i
by
Hydro-X
·
· Score: 2, Funny
I loved the hour-long special. The best part is the Jean Poutine prank linked in the parent. Of course, Bush's reply isn't much more intelligible.
"He understands I want to make sure our relationship with our most important neighbour to the north of us is strong and we'll work closely together,"
Emphasis mine.
Congratulations Canada on preserving your national igloo!
I thought the mainstream media was going to save us from all this Internet misinformation. After all, how can we unwashed masses be informed without their help?
I think it's funny as hell that after all the crap we've heard from the media about how the Internet is a dangerous playground of falsehood and misinformation, they were taken in by a web site well known among Internet users as being a satire site.
Anybody who has to be told that satire is satire is a red-ass baboon. If any hamadryas are reading this, I'm sorry for comparing you to stupid humans, but calling them chimps isn't insulting enough. If Ignorant Cocksucker would like to read some serious hard news, and doesn't like parody, check out www.uncoveror.com
-- How ya like dat?
What can you expect?
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 0
I mean, for millions of Chinese Mao's Red Book is the essential guidance for their lives, more so than the Bible is to most Christians.
Now if the Bible is kind of boring, plodding and for the most part anachronic, the Red Book is stupid, full of trivialities, common places and downright idiotic notions. It's actually fun - highly recommended for party entertainment (no pun intended.)
In this light it isn't surprising that they the The Onion seriously as well.
Re:Fear. Uncertainty. Doubt. The Onion.
by
The+Mayor
·
· Score: 4, Informative
The British are responsible for naming it "soccer". Aparantly, in the 1800s, many games were known as "football"--it referred to almost any sport played with a ball and two teams. The Football Association decided to codify the rules of what Americans call "soccer". Through a twist of abbreviations and name changes, the name got translated into "soccer" (the "soc" was from the word "association", and I guess "soccer" was easier to say than "the Football Association Football". To this day, you'll still find "soccer" stores (using that name) in the United Kingdom.
In case you hadn't noticed, rugby is actually a shortened name for Rugby Football. Football refers to lots of sports. The word "soccer" comes from the UK (I heard this on a BBC program about the sport). The US retained the name to prevent confusion from the other sport Americans played known as "football". Meanwhile, the rest of the world changed the other "football" sports to "rugby" (or any of a number of other names--the name really referred to hundreds of sports in the 1800s).
Since the UK invented football/soccer, and then codified its rules and named it "soccer", then the Americans can claim to be correct in calling it "soccer".
Here's a link to the origins of football/soccer. I can't find a reference as to when the name was assigned. You'll have to take my word on it (or do your own research). But the name definitely did not originate in the U.S.
-- --Be human.
We are a nation of red-ass baboons...
by
phillymjs
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· Score: 3, Interesting
...because we need coffee cups that says "Caution, contents HOT!" and commercials that have "Don't try this yourself" at the bottom of the screen as the SUV being advertised drives vertically up the side of a skyscraper and parks on the roof. In another few years, they'll probably have to interrupt movies every 15 minutes with a slide of text bearing a disclaimer that says, "The events you are watching are not really happening, but are fictional." Actually, this has already happened once, in 1983.
~Philly
Re:We are a nation of red-ass baboons...
by
Lord+Ender
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· Score: 2
"we need coffee cups that says [sic]..."
Listen, buddy. we don't NEED all that. People try to sue corporations, so they put it there to protect themselves from 1 lawsuit. But the society does not need those warnings.
-- A slashdotter who didn't build his own computer is like a Jedi who didn't build his own lightsaber.
Re:We are a nation of red-ass baboons...
by
Morky
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· Score: 1
They probably did that because of the stunt Orson Welles pulled back in the 30s with "War of the Worlds".
Re:We are a nation of red-ass baboons...
by
Dephex+Twin
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· Score: 2
And, to add to that, even the people who are "victims" to those things that lead to such disclaimers don't even need them, in many cases. I'm sure the lady who scorched her crotch with coffee in her car knew full well that coffee is fucking hot and that she probably shouldn't hold it inbetween her legs in a moving vehicle. Then when she scorched her crotch she became very angry... but who does she blame? Of course not herself. I know! The McDonald's cup didn't say "Do not hold me in your crotch or I will burn it to hell", so I can sue them and get millions out of it, too!
But stupid disclaimers like that keep greedy/vengeful people from filing those kinds of lawsuits by removing the ambiguity.
So really it is merely an indication that our system of law is too welcoming of stupid lawsuits.
mark
--
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. -- Carl Sagan
Word Choice for Title!
by
ArcadeNut
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· Score: 5, Informative
Not to be picky here, but they were not "SPOOFED" by The Onion, they were "DUPED".
If they were Spoofed then you would have seen an article on The Onion about Beijing and not an article about some news station in Beijing using a story on The Onion.
-- Visit the Arcade Restoration Workshop @ http://www.arcaderestoration.com
Not to be picky here, but they were not "SPOOFED" by The Onion, they were "DUPED".
Classically speaking -- in dictionary terms -- you are correct, sir. However, this being a Nerd site, CmdrTaco was apparently using Geekspeak. In this jargon, "spoof" means "to fool", derived from the ability of hackers to create false email headers; this technique being referred to as "spoofing", with the resultant back-formation of "spoof". Linguistically speaking, the reversal of the meaning of a term is an important part of the creation of a sub-language; the example that springs to mind just now is the early-'70's use in the African-American culture of the term "bad" to mean "very good".
And, to be even more exacting, they weren't "duped" -- the use of "dupe" implies a conscious motive toward the Beijing newspaper on the part of "The Onion", which did not exist. "Fooled" is probably the appropriate word to use here.
-- DNA is a Turing machine. You, however, being dynamic and emergent, are not.
ARGH!
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Gawd, I hate that pun!
YOU DIE NOW!
The View
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
I remember watching NBC's "The View" once, okay so I was unemployed at the time watching random daytime TV and it is embarrasing to even admit. The asian girl on the board they had brought up a story about how Toyota had implemented an anti-terrorist device that would play John Tesh music in their vehicles that would force them to pull over so that the US troops would have an easy target. Aparently Toyota noticed how most of the vehicles being driven by the Taliban were their own Toyota pickup trucks. Problem is she thought this was a REAL news story and was shocked when the rest of the board told her that it was a fake news article. I really wish I could have found that story she was talking about it sounded pretty dern funny.
Do you actually believe that crap?
by
RelliK
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· Score: 3, Funny
Bush Sr. Apologizes To Son For Funding Bin Laden In '80s
MIDLAND, TX-- Former president George Bush issued an apology to his son Monday for advocating the CIA's mid-'80s funding of Osama bin Laden, who at the time was resisting the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. "I'm sorry, son," Bush told President George W. Bush. "We thought it was a good idea at the time because he was part of a group fighting communism in Central Asia. We called them 'freedom fighters' back then. I know it sounds weird. You sort of had to be there." Bush is still deliberating over whether to tell his son about the whole supporting-Saddam Hussein-against-Iran thing.
-- ___
If you think big enough, you'll never have to do it.
Having just started up one of these...
by
TellarHK
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· Score: 2
Some friends and I just created a parody news site the other day. We're not really complete enough to start advertising, but that won't stop us from mentioning it once in a while, like, say, here.
But what does amuse me is that the line between real journalism and parody has gotten a lot slimmer in the recent years. Ever since The Daily Show, it's almost seemed better to get your news from someplace like that than a traditional boring newscast. The Daily Show seems to give accurate enough basis for the parody stuff they do, just twisted. Of course, the Domination News Network that myself and some friends created is a little more like The Onion, with the user community twist. I'm almost afraid now, that someone will take DNN seriously someday. Particularly since the "basis" for it is global domination by a conspiracy that's decided to go semi-public.
I keep wondering if I should be proud to get on any watch lists with some of the articles we may post someday?:)
Methinks that "writer" will soon be mining asbestos in a prison camp. And after he dies, his organs will be sold by the Chinese government for the good of the state.
> It was read on WAAF (bottom of the dung pile "rock" station) by "Mistress Carrie" for crying out loud!
As if there was something better to listen to in Boston? Come on.
Re:Fear. Uncertainty. Doubt. The Onion.
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
wow thanks for the info
That makes alot more sense than the limited trivia I'd previously heard.
Cultural
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Obviously. But keep in mind that liking football is a fature of almost all human culture, except USA (which nevertheless presented a surprisingly good team this year). Football is the most popular game in the world. American Football (as your light version of rugby is called everywhere else) on the other hand is just a bad substitute for the Roman Circus' gladiators (since it loses a lot without the weapons).
American Football (as your light version of rugby is called everywhere else) on the other hand is just a bad substitute for the Roman Circus' gladiators (since it loses a lot without the weapons).
Light? Jesus Christ, have you seenTampa Bay's defensive line?!?
You're right about the weapons, though. Seems a shame that all the players use them off the field, but can't bring them on.
That's strange...
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
"I thought you Asientals were supposed to be smart."
- Ken Titus
Re:If you think the Chinese are gullible, the US i
by
Hydro-X
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· Score: 2, Informative
My point is, that such people exist. In large numbers. Some of them have nukes. So let's play it safe. We need satire warnings on all satirical web pages, just in case people get hold of the wrong end of the stick.
After all, humor is notoriously hard to translate, is it surprising that the Chinese took the onion seriously ?
For some reason taste in music escapes most of the population out here.
Still, WAAF is OK on the weekends. I just wish they'd shut the DJs up and play some $#@ Music for a change. MTV (The Shiny Things Network*) has more music these days than the Boston stations.
* "After 16 years, MTV has finally completed its deevolution into the shiny things network"
-- "Live Free or Die." Don't like it? Then keep out of the USA
Re:If you think the Chinese are gullible, the US i
by
CamMac
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· Score: 1
That is funny, everyone knows that Canadians don't have indoor plumbing... its so cold the pipes would break:-)
--Cam
-- All jocks think about is sports. All nerds think about is sex.
Re:If you think the Chinese are gullible, the US i
by
Omerna
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· Score: 1
That's to be expected, most Americans (which I am) assume all of Canada is about as highly developed as the Yukon. If you look at it like that indoor plumbing and paved roads are a good deal. (Though not figuring out TV and the 24 hour clock are everywhere indicates he interviewed some incredibly stupid Americans).
--
No sig for you.
Re:If you think the Chinese are gullible, the US i
by
Elwood+P+Dowd
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· Score: 2
And of course, there aren't any ignorant Canadians. If you search for stupid people, you will find them. You probably won't have to look far in any nation. I always felt that a Canadian's opinion of American intelligence was much more revealing about the Canadian in question than Americans in general.
--
There are no trails. There are no trees out here.
Unfortunatly thats what happens
by
Martin+Marvinski
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· Score: 1
Most of us take critical thinking for granted, but in communist countries the government tells you what to think. So when they read something in the newspaper, to them it is true. How sad.
the ironic part about your post
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
is that you do not understand the definition of irony.
If it were circular - that would be irony.
Ever since that damn Alanis Morisette song, people are misusing irony to mean some kind of 'funny coincidence'
What is ironic is that none of the things that Alanis sings about are actually Ironic.
Isn't it Ironic, don't you think?
Re:If you think the Chinese are gullible, the US i
by
LadyLucky
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· Score: 2
The Dutch have a fantastic program, which takes the piss of tele-evangelists.
He asks to go on their show, and after a while, asks to talk some Dutch to the viewers back home. He says things along the lines of "This is a con-man, he's trying to steal your money..." and so forth.
The newspaper won�t care about being wrong
by
TalShiar00
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· Score: 1
I doubt the point of this story was about accuracy but more about reporting on events in the United States; more specifically the evils of democracy and capitalism. The newspaper wanted to show the Chinese people that the US government is greedy and how the Chinese government does so much more for the people. The paper won't car about being wrong, yes they might print a small retraction on page 25 but few people will see that. All they will remember is that the capitol building contains concession stands and congress wants to spend millions retractable roof. This story doesn't make the newspaper look bad, they made their point whether the news was factual or not. Now this may be a good thing that they will reprint dis-information if we ever go to war (think Russia and the end of the Cuban missile crisis). This does not make the Chinese people think any better of Americans.
I agree the newspaper won�t care about being wrong
by
TalShiar00
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· Score: 1
I doubt the point of this story was about accuracy but more about reporting on events in the United States; more specifically the evils of democracy and capitalism. The newspaper wanted to show the Chinese people that the US government is greedy and how the Chinese government does so much more for the people. The paper won't car about being wrong, yes, they might print a small retraction on page 25 but few people will see that. All they will remember is that the capitol building contains concession stands and congress wants to spend millions on a retractable roof. This story doesn't make the newspaper look bad, they made their point whether the news was factual or not. Now this may be a good thing that they will reprint dis-information if we ever go to war (think Russia and the end of the Cuban missile crisis). This does not make the Chinese people think any better of Americans.
To be a scientist...
by
joshyc
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· Score: 2, Interesting
It's probably just the massive amount of caffeine circulating through my system right now but this quote made me laugh for a solid 5 minutes:
"To be a scientist, you have to learn all this weird stuff, like how many molecules are in a proton,..."
Taken from: http://www.theonion.com/onion3821/science_hard.htm l
Oh well, back to studying for chem.
You know what would be really funny?
by
npsimons
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· Score: 1
If this had been an article in the Onion and Slashdot had believed it. As it is, I think the Onion missed out on a prime opportunity.
Oh well. I guess sometimes truth is just funnier than fiction, or something like that.
Intelligence != Common Sense
by
da+cog
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· Score: 1
I think that many people here are missing the point of what Cyc is supposed to do; Cyc is not boing built to be an intelligent machine, but a *knowledgable* machine.
Human intelligence comes both from our ability to process information *and* the large store of information we've acquired throughout our life.
I think that a good example of this was mentioned in the article. The statement "Mary and Jean are sisters." implies that each is a sister of the other, while the statement "Mary and Jean are mothers." does *not* imply anything of the sort. When you think about in, there really is no reason that "Mary and Jean are sisters." has to also imply that they are sisters *of each other*, it's just that this is usually what meant.
Think of Cyc as being a space alien: Because it has no exprience with the human way of life, things that are painfully obvious to us need to be taught to it.
A lot of people seem to be arguing that Cyc is a pointless project because it is not very intelligent, but I think they are missing the point. No matter the form our future intelligent machine may take, it will have to have simple, basic things explained to it.
Now, having said that, I'll admit that there is a possible exception to this: if we could also endow such a machine with human-style perception, and possible an ability to interact with the world, then we could treat it like a child and let it stumble upon the truths of the world on its own.
But regardless, my point still stands that common sense is *not* an intrinsic property of intelligence, but something additional that must be provided in order to make intelligence useful.
The Cyc project is not trying to make an intelligent machine, but it is trying to build up a database of common sense--which we may be grateful for later when we've built a machine that is intelligent enough to make serious use of it.
-- Snarkiness is inversely proportional to wisdom because it emphasizes feeling right rather than being right.
Re:Intelligence != Common Sense
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Damn, that's embarassing--I posted this comment to the wrong story.
In related news, however, the Beijing News Agency appears to have republished my comment, referring to it as the first "intelligent and well thought-out response to their story".;-)
It needs to be made much more prominent. Indeed, every article should include a disclaimer at the beggining of the text. It should include the statement: "the following article is intended as satire". This way, there can be no doubt as to the intention of the article.
We already rate movies for sex and violence, why not rate internet content for truth and validity ?
In China, newspaper always like to publish the unconfirmed information, especially close 1st, April.
But that's great, life needs some fun! Isn't it?
Re:Fear. Uncertainty. Doubt. The Onion.
by
pdcull
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· Score: 1
Don't laugh too much - that Onion story has been making its way around Christian circles, often being regarded as near gospel-truth.
I was recently at meeting of some 1,000 pastors from the São Paulo (Brazil) Pastor's Council where this report was read out (having been translated into Portuguese) and presumably believed by the majority because it had 'come from the Internet'.
It is you who does not understand irony.
by
SocialWorm
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· Score: 1
I refer you to Dictionary.com, which actually brings up the very subject you mentioned. Note that while it states that "78 percent of the Usage Panel rejects the use of ironically in [a manner to denote coincidence]", that means that slightly more than 1 in 5 of their faculty think this usage is just fine, or have no objections to it.
Furthermore, it is no coincidence that we read this story on Slashdot: they post stories here all the time, and people read them. What is "contrary to what was expected" is the number of levels all talking about essentially the same thing. Therefore, this story is ironic, because you REALLY wouldn't expect it.
What was the punchline...?
by
Mulletproof
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· Score: 2
Hahahaha!!! Hohohohho!...Um, and that quote was? While I enjoyed the rant about your 3rd cousins uncles brothers religious news letter, your post lacks any sort of value without said link.
"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Um..." "Errr..." "Uh..." "Damn. I forgot, but trust me, it was funny."
Re:What was the punchline...?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
The article no longer exists, as it was published in one of the Onion's books. Otherwise, I'm sure someone in this thread would have linked to it.
Dick head.
Re:If you think the Chinese are gullible, the US i
by
Hydro-X
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· Score: 1
...about as highly developed as the Yukon. If you look at it like that indoor plumbing and paved roads are a good deal.
Actually, I know some Yukoners, and they don't have communal wells or outhouses. They have indoor plumbing. They also have paved roads in/around/to/from Whitehorse. However, in Nunavut (the high arctic), paved roads, or any roads, are almost non-existant simply because of the great distances between communities. It's simpler to simply fly bush planes in and out rather then use trucks and whatnot. Tradeoff is that a bottle of Pepsi will go for a good 6 bucks or so.
(Though not figuring out TV and the 24 hour clock are everywhere indicates he interviewed some incredibly stupid Americans).
Well he did interview a few state governors with similar results. California and Arkensas if IIRC. Oh wait.. Never mind.
Re:If you think the Chinese are gullible, the US i
by
gad_zuki!
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· Score: 2
Holy crap, do you know the name of this program? I'd love to read more about it.
u giv lunix? kekekekeke... ^______^
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Why you throw chip?
We are all monkeys
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Have an american football player run into a rugby player. See which one gets up.
The padding and protective gear isn't because they're wimps, but because they're a lot larger than their rugby counterparts. Getting hit by someone that size tends to break things (such as ribs, knees, arms . ..)
Does anyone remenmber who wrote the story about combat rules football?
hawk
Re:also . . .
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
but because they're a lot larger than their rugby counterparts.
No, I think you mean "fatter," and I've met plenty of fucking huge rugby players... so frankly, you're talking out of your lardy USian buttocks.
Re:If you think the Chinese are gullible, the US i
by
invalid_user
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· Score: 1
(Though not figuring out TV and the 24 hour clock are everywhere indicates he interviewed some incredibly stupid Americans).
Like, Dubya?
(Or would that be un-patriotic?)
Re:If you think the Chinese are gullible, the US i
by
LadyLucky
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· Score: 2
How about a sign saying- " You need an IQ at least *THIS* big to view this site" . With a small number next to it...
-- ...and he grinned, like a fox eating shit out of a wire brush.
Re:If you think the Chinese are gullible, the US i
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
The thing is, really, what we're seeing is how little Americans think about Canada. Most of them just think of it as America, Jr. anyway. So, Americans don't care about Canada, and meanwhile, Canadians have this massive inferiority complex and try to work so hard not to be America, Jr. (with things like Canadian-content laws and whatnot, and then something like the parent post's links).
I remember when I was going to spend a semester abroad, they showed this film to all the students who were going abroad in my school. The film was about things like culture shock and differences between our customs and theirs, etc. The thing that was revealed about halfway in, though, was that the film was made in Canada for Canadians. But it was completely interchangeable with an American film.
I mean, we even have the *National* Hockey League which is US/Canadian. And the Toronto Blue Jays play in the *American* League in baseball. And don't tell me that "American" could refer to "North America". Because the National League (note: not "International") has the Montreal Expos.
I know most Canadians don't mind us USians, but really they should be joyful that we are there. They get to be everything good about the US, without having to be hated by the world and without being in the middle of every horrible scary conflict going on nowadays.
Re: Origin of name "Soccer"
by
beamin
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· Score: 1
Re:If you think the Chinese are gullible, the US i
by
Lictor
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· Score: 1
>know most Canadians don't mind us USians, but really they should be joyful that we are there.
You see, its an attitude like this that causes the problems. In my experience 99.9% of the Americans I've met were wonderful, friendly, educated and generally first-class people. Its that remaining.1% that causes so many international image problems for the U.S.
You have clearly started with the base assumption that the U.S.A. is the most wonderful, bestest place in the whole wide world to live. For some types of people this is, no doubt, true.
It comes down to mindset. If you are a capitalist through and through, then yes... the U.S. is a utopian paradise. If you work hard, and have some luck, you can be amongst the elite. "The American Dream" they call it.
However, I would wager that there are several people worldwide who don't like: Watching fellow citizens die because they can't afford health care; the idea that anyone with a hankerin' for a gun can get one; the idea that children have ready access to serious firearms and use them to slaughter other children; the idea that when other nations attack its terrorism... but when the U.S. "influences" central american politics to achieve a desired outcome its "patriotism" and "defending democracy".... (again, please note I'm not trying to pass value judgement on these actions. I'm not saying they weren't justified... just that this is a matter of opinion, and not everyone agrees on it.)
I'm sure you see where this is going.
The point is: Many Candians do NOT like "everything good" about the US. Indeed, they are bitterly resentful that your culture continues to erode ours, and we are powerless to stop it because there are so few of us and so many of you. Its not an 'inferiority complexity' as you so pejoratively put it... its an expression of the fact that we have somewhat different values than you do.
Don't assume everyone deperately wants to be a U.S. citizen. It is arrogant, ignorant and makes you a poster boy for what non-americans hate about the U.S.
Again, I'm *not* saying the U.S. is a bad place. There are many wonderful things about it. I'm just saying that it isn't everyones deepest desire to live in your society.
Rejected Onion Headline
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
I read an interview with one of the staff writers. He was talking about "How far was too far" when thinking of stories about 9-11 (so as not to offend to many people). I remember one of them, which I'm glad they didn't print because I literally would have died laughing had they printed it:
Slashdot Mirror
At least they weren't fooled by stories like "This Just In: Bill Gates Buys Evil From Satan" or "Death Star Opens Day Care Center."
I can imagine them running through the streets of Beijing saying "Look at the size of that thing!" and "That's no moon!"
"Chances of RHIC-induced Armageddon are exceedingly rare, but... you never know." - MIT Physicist Bob Jaffe
I'd actually like to see someone take the Onion's kids explanation of why the Sept. terrorist attacks happened seriously.
One of these days/I'm going to cut you into little pieces.
On the radio lastnight as I was driving home.and almost crashed...
but anyways I guess this just shows that you have to choose a source carefully.. I mean who really needs a new capital with a retracting dome and stadium seating?
The greatest right given is the right to be wrong...
Mr T to pity fool. Don.
Slashdot - The Home of the Tortured Analogy
Paper Falls for Gag in Humor Tabloid
June 07, 2002 09:59 AM ET Email this article Printer friendly version
BEIJING (Reuters) - Beijing's most popular newspaper has unwittingly republished a bogus story about U.S. Congress threats to skip town for Memphis or Charlotte unless Washington builds them a new Capitol building with a retractable dome.
The source? America's celebrated spoof tabloid, the Onion.
The Beijing Evening News, which claims a circulation of 1.25 million, translated portions of the Onion's tall tale word-for-word in the international news page of its June 3 edition.
The reprinted version of the May 29 article, which parodies Congress as a Major League Baseball squad, also copied the Onion's would-be blueprint for a new legislative home that resembles a ballpark. "Don't get us wrong: We love the drafty old building," the Onion quoted House Speaker Dennis Hastert as saying.
"But the hard reality is, it's no longer suitable for a world-class legislative branch. The sight lines are bad, there aren't enough concession stands or bathrooms, and the parking is miserable."
The spoof from the brazen entertainment tabloid, which dubs itself "America's finest news source," apparently took in the Evening News.
"The story was written by one of our freelance writers," an editor at the Evening News told Reuters on Friday. "His stuff has been pretty much reliable before."
The editor said he had received other calls from readers about the article. "They were also suspicious of the contents."
Told the story came from the Onion and was not true, the editor said, "We would first have to check that out. If it's indeed fake, I'm sure there will be some form of correction."
In case anyone's interested, the Onion article is here! (No goatse.cx links, sorry!)
TOTALLY believable!
"Why did they cancel my favorite Sci-Fi show? I downloaded ALL the episodes!"
http://www.theonion.com/onion3820/congress_threate ns.html
Complete with retractable dome diagram.
"It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
In my high school...
Teacher: Gambit, you didn't write this!
Gambit: uh, well...
Teacher: You COPIED this, didn't you?
Gambit: Well, maybe a little...
Teacher: That's PLAGIARISM! Where do you think you're going to end up if you just copy other people's article??
Gambit: Hopefully on Slashdot?
Watch the Teaser Trailer for "The Lightning Thief" Her
If you read it on the internet, you know its true!
(Disclaimer: Yes someone else probably said it first. But SA was the one that taught me it)
Think nothing is impossible? Try slamming a revolving door.
The onion has some of the best news there is anyway.
Actually I really enjoy how they poke fun at the ridiculousness of things that go on today. And they also do a good job, I really loved that "God clarifies his 'Thou shalt not kill' rule" article they had back in october.
I said Microsoft are bad. Mod me up. The proof is here.
"Under the iron bridge, we fist" - The Smiths, Still Ill
Half of congress will want the dome open and half will want it closed.
;0)
Oh well I guess they'll be to busy arguing about it to come up with any more dumb laws like the DMCA
Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?
Another online news story about this is here.
CowboyNeal, Q.E.D. 20%
a^2+b^2=c^2 17%
algore 0.41%
(source:slashdot.org)
More than once Slashdot has published stories from questionable sources which turned out to be completely false. Although it's inevitable for any site that uses reader submitions to sometimes publish hoax stories as it's hard to read every submition that is sent. However I've read many stories in newspapers here (not in china) that came from sources about as or less credible than the onion. China is relatively new to the internet so I suppose they haven't figured out which sites are the joke ones yet.
I guesse we could say: Beijing Newspaper. YHBT. YHL. HAND.
GoatPigSheep, the 3 most important food groups
Ask a conspiracy theorist... the onion's version of Ask Slasdot.
Check it out
Think nothing is impossible? Try slamming a revolving door.
Guess this will be my first trolling mod here, but I do not see what this is doing on slashdot.
I got this days ago from the mainstream media.
This is not what I expect from slashdot. Yet another testament to the need for a more democratic story acceptance system.
Blearf. Blearf, I say.
I remember a hilarious letter to Readers Digest, complaining that they shouldn't be giving any publicity to avowed Satanist J.K. Rowling. The woman's source for her numerous quotes? You guessed it. She gave the URL of the story to anyone looking for further information.
The staff of Readers Digest was kind enough to point out the woman's error.
You want the truthiness? You can't handle the truthiness!
On the same page there was an article saying something like "sexual tension between sharon and arafat reaches breaking point" and was about them kissing. Of course maybe I'm giving them way too much credit for intelligence
After all, the poll was about the most popular mathematical al-gore-rithm.
--
If you moderate this, then your children will be next.
I've translated the beijing evening news article from chinese:
^ 03R1101.htm
Translated from http://www.ben.com.cn/WLZB/20020603/GB/WLZB^357^7
WASHINGTON, DC--Calling the current U.S. Capitol "inadequate and obsolete," Congress will relocate to Charlotte or Memphis if its demands for a new, state-of-the-art facility are not met, leaders announced Monday.
Above: An architectural firm's proposal for a new retractable-dome capitol. Inset: Hastert addresses reporters.
"Don't get us wrong: We love the drafty old building," Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert (R-IL) said. "But the hard reality is, it's no longer suitable for a world-class legislative branch. The sight lines are bad, there aren't enough concession stands or bathrooms, and the parking is miserable. It hurts to say, but the capitol's time has come and gone."
"If we want to stay competitive, we need to upgrade," said House Minority Leader Dick Gephardt (D-MO), who has proposed a new $3.5 billion capitol on the site of the current edifice. "Look at British Parliament. Look at the Vatican. Respected institutions in their markets. But without modern facilities, they've been having big problems attracting top talent."
Its cornerstone laid in 1793 by President Washington, the capitol has been built, rebuilt, extended, and restored countless times over the past 209 years. Legislators say another multimillion-dollar renovation is not an acceptable alternative to a new building.
"How many times can you put a fresh coat of paint over an old, broken-down horse?" asked Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA), co-chair of the Senate Relocation Subcommittee. "We need a building that befits our status as the nation's number-one democratically elected legislative body. And if D.C. isn't willing to provide that, I can think of plenty of other cities that would be more than happy to."
The leading candidates for a possible congressional relocation are Charlotte and Memphis, both of which have long sought a major organization to raise their national profile. San Francisco civic leaders have also lobbied hard, offering to finance a $4 billion Pac Bell Capitol Building using a combination of private corporate funds (40 percent), a county sales tax (35 percent), and a local cigarette tax (25 percent). Dallas, Seattle, and Toronto have also been mentioned as long shots.
Demonstrating its commitment to "stay in Washington if at all possible," Congress has invited more than a dozen architectural firms to submit proposals for a new D.C. capitol. Among the early favorites is the ambitiously titled "Halls Of Power," a retro-futuristic design by the Kansas City architectural firm of Hellmuth, Obata, and Kassabaum. The Halls Of Power would feature a retractable rotunda for daytime sessions, a Dancing Waters fountain in the front courtyard, and 55 more luxury boxes than the current building.
"This is just the kind of thing we need to stay competitive in today's lawmaking environment," said agent Barry Halperin, who represents many prominent government officials, including Sen. Jim Jeffords (I-VT) and Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. "Washington can no longer afford to ignore the fact that visitor attendance has dropped every year since 1989. Our elected officials don't like coming to this building and, clearly, neither do their constituents."
Experts attribute the decline in congressional attendance to a number of factors, including increased home viewership of legislative activities on C-SPAN, with which Congress signed an exclusive 20-year, $360 million broadcast pact in 1984. It is not known how a new capitol building would affect the terms of that soon-to-expire contract, but Congress is expected to restructure the deal to increase its share of revenues and secure possible advertising rights, regardless of whether it opts for rebuilding or relocation.
According to the lawmakers' constituents, the capitol is not the problem.
"Sure, the capitol's a little beat-up, but it's got its charms," said Geoff Lapointe, a Glendale, CA, voter. "The real problem is the legislators. Back in the old days, you had big stars like John Kennedy and Richard Nixon. Who've they got today? Evan Bayh? Paul Sarbanes? Who's gonna get excited about those guys?"
Lapointe said he is "fed up" with the legislators and their demands.
"Those guys are all just a bunch of spoiled, overpaid crybabies," Lapointe said. "All they want is money--they don't care about all the hardworking people who pay their salaries. Look at 'em: When's the last time you saw them acting like a team? They can take their capitol and shove it."
I what I find even more funny, is that (according to FOX news) the paper countinues to claim that it properly followed up and checked the sources and when Fox reporters questioned them about it, they simply replied (I'm paraphrasing) "How do you know our reporters didn't make calls to confirm this story?"
Business News and Resources: www.usasource.net
al-gore-rithm. ROFL. Classic!
POST: 3664644
The Department of Homeland Security is required by law to notify you that you have been identified as a terrorist threat and your recent post (3664644) has been logged in your e-dossier.
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"Integrity Shmentegrity, I don't understand journalists' obsessive-compulsive desire to get every little number correct. I mean, this is Journalism, not Rocket Science. We're here to entertain the masses, not put men on the goddamned moon." -- Me at my job interview for the Nevada Appeal. Guess who's still unemployed?
Why is it when I hit ^R that ZSH calls me a cocksucker?
Dear Chinese Reporter,
In case you were looking for more news to reprint about the stupidness that is America, here are some other leads you might want to follow:
1) America is stupid
2) No, seriously. Just put that up as your headline and your readers will believe it. Though you might get letters berating you for not being mean enough.
3) And despite that win the other day, we still suck at soccer.
4) And we're all very, very gay.
5) And completely against education, sewer systems, organized government and hygiene.
6) And we find Jay Leno to be absolutely hilarious.
If only number six weren't true.
-Brandon
I don't know why they picked up the Onion story. This one's more believable.
I sure give those blokes a call for a consultation should I ever have to hire a reliable journalist.
ich bin der musikant
mit taschenrechner in der hand
kraftwerk
And they'll have the olympics? Just imagine: (Translated) Iyama Yuoamoto won the gold medal!! No wait...the bronze medal....no wait, the...
Kuro5hin.org, the proof of concept democratic group blog, has already posted this, a few days earlier than slashdot. It got voted to front page.
tlhf
xxx
Or perhaps I do... hard to decide :)
What I do know is that I hope the journalist in question would copy the "How do you know I didn't call to confirm this?" response.
Safe to assume large information sources in China are carefully screened. Public probably has a hard time understanding US satire, and some information editor probably thought people would believe it a face value.
Rather than seeing this as some funny goof some Chinese newspaper made, you might consider at what lengths the Chinese government is going to negatively portray American society.
What is the relevance?
One of the listed long-shot alternatives was Toronto--Canada eh!
Iaamoac
http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/god_clarifies_do nt_kill.html
Not only is it funny, but also deeply insightful, even for an atheist like me.
Reality has a liberal bias
Does anyone use the word spoofed to mean deceived any more?
My girlfriend's sister is editor of Buisness China, a Shanghai based Economist publication (in English) which comes out every fortnight. She is always having to watch out for her freelancers lifting articles from other English language sources. The freelancers figure that they are so far off the beaten track they can get away with it. But they quickly find out how much she reads.
As we say in /. English, Slenglish I guess:
That's REDICULOUS!
Unfortunately, the page seems to be gone now, but the onion ran this just a couple of weeks ago:
Factual Error Found on Internet
"The Information Age was dealt a stunning blow Monday, when a factual error was discovered on the Internet. The error was found on TedsUltimateBradyBunch.com, a Brady Bunch fan site that incorrectly listed the show's debut year as 1968, not 1969.
"Caryn Wisniewski, a Pueblo, CO, legal secretary and diehard Brady Bunch fan, came across the mistake while searching for information about the show's first-season cast."
I wonder how many Members of the Chinese government now have dreams of a Retractable Dome of their own. The Onion may have unwittingly kicked of a international contest between our governments.
"Nyah! Nyah! My Domes Bigger than Yooourrrs!"
Or Not.
======
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. - Euripides
I still remember the damn fool local DJs reading the "Post office wants to levy a 5 cent tax on each e-mail" story as real. Most of my coworkers were in a panic and complaining bitterly. I printed up disclaimers debunking the story from the US Post Office's web site, among other locations.
Sadly, my coworkers insisted that the post office must be lying, because "They wouldn't put it on the radio if it weren't true!" (Yes, that is a real quote)
It was read on WAAF (bottom of the dung pile "rock" station) by "Mistress Carrie" for crying out loud!
And then there was the time Hillary Clinton was asked about her stance on the bill during an interview...
"Live Free or Die." Don't like it? Then keep out of the USA
Working with some european and east european mathematics journals brought up an anecdote about a mathematician who'd made a multi-decade academic career though translating material from an east european mathematician and publishing it in the west under his own name. His day was rained on when the Iron Curtain came down and the original material became available.
Beta is broken and the link to classic doesn't work. Stop wasting our time or there won't be anybody left here.
Well, if Al Gore ever start a jass-band. He can call it Al-Gore-Rythm
I buy that record!
Just saying it like it are.
The founder of the Onion was on Jay Leno a while back and discussed the problem at length.
He said that the biggest problem was email forwards from people who consider it a news release, and in the email there is not the rest of the onion's site for context, so people don't know it is a parody.
He said the 2 that generated the most amount of letters from concerned citizens, up to that point in time, was "Chinese woman gives birth to septuplets, doesn't know which one to keep" and "New York to install infant-only dumpsters".
-----
Cast a Cold Eye
On Life, on Death
Horseman, pass by
--W.B. Yeats' gravestone
There was the girl in my Chem class,
we were researching experiments to do for a class project. All of a sudden, I hear "Oh my god, Bill Nye is dead, I didn't know that!" I was laughing my ass off, half the class we talking about it, and about how good of shows he had, and how sad it was, even the teacher believed it. When I walked over to see what the commotion was about, I nearly wet myself.
Even if you believed the part about wanting to relocate, I don't think there is any chance that Congress would relocate to TORONTO: Dallas, Seattle, and Toronto have also been mentioned as long shots.
What?
I have a very-muched-loved-yet-altogether-nuts-over-religio n uncle that used to send out his own newsletter giving news from the Christian coalition mindset kind of thing. Used to annoy the hell out of me that he somehow thought that he assumed I wanted to be filled in and take action against evolution being taught in schools and such, but it wasn't worth the confrontation to tell him to STFU.
Well. One of these things he sent me a few years ago was about how the Harry Potter books were teaching our kids satanism and witchcraft and such. Now this thing was sent in all seriousness, with quotes from children (something about sucking Satan's "gigantic black cock", I don't quite recall). Anyway, he was dead serious that this was a problem that all "good christians" should take immediate action against.
Now I would normally just delete these things after getting a good laugh, since I really do like the guy despite this kind of evangelical nonsense. What caught my eye was the link to the article he was quoting from - it was (ta da) from The Onion. I nearly fell out of my chair at work from laughing so hard.
"Oh my God! The dead have risen! And they're voting Republican!" - Bart Simpson
...about China's space program and their wish to land on the moon by 2010:
Are they actually doing their own R&D, or just feverishly combing the Internet trying to find out how to make Cavorite?
~Philly
At least we know now that the Onion can be reached through the Great Firewall! :)
As you read through it, you can just see the raw emotions in every article in that issue - it reminds me every day I look at it what that day was like.
The Holy Fucking Shit edition of The Onion was one of the finest pieces of literature serious or satirical published about the September 11 bombings. Before the HFS edition, I merely thought The Onion was funny. Afterwards, I respected The Onion.
In the middle of all the hysteria, screaming panic, and horror, The Onion *dared* to go in and examine the ridiculousness of not only what had happened but what was happening because of it.
Good work guys!
The next Slashdot story will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and slashdot the links early!
I'm surprised no one has pointed out how ironic this story is on /.
We're reading a story on a niche news site about a story on a popular news site about a story in a major newspaper (albeit in China) taken from a site that lampoons the news.
My Blog: http://nic.dreamhost.com/
This happened to me as well. Several days at the beginning of last year, the Onion Article was being passed around via email some of the more religious young women at my office. The hell of it was that it had been forwarded to the 'Local Christian E-Mail Distribution Officer' by a prominent local pastor.
They *Bought* this, hook, line, and sinker.
The next Slashdot story will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and slashdot the links early!
Because the rest of the world would not be surprised if it were true!
Item! Hold onto your hats, everyone, because this is the Big One. From one of my better sources, who must obviously remain nameless, I've learned that there is going to be another Star Wars movie! Plot details about Star Wars 4 are extremely sketchy, but from what I understand, Luke and Laura have to find a magic potion that was hidden by Boba Fett, Darth Vader's son-in-law, in order to save their home planet from space drug dealers. It's good to know that Steven Spielberg still has the magic touch. Stay tuned for more info. And may The Force be with you and your loved ones!
Link
Death Star Daycare
Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.
Every single Onion story is 100% MADE UP! Complete Fiction! How could ANY newspaper story be LESS credible?
This post is protected under the DMTA (Digital Millemium Trolling Act). It is illegal to moderate it as a troll.
God Answers Prayers of Crippled Little Boy
"No," says God
I think you mean soccer. Football is what is entertaining to the country that matters.
I really hate Dan Patrick.
Imagine if the Chinese read in a "satire" site that the US was going to nuke them, and they believed it!
I would rather be on the safe side here, even if people's free speech needs to be curtailed just a little bit.
They probably get their English lessons from Herbert Kornfeld.h tml
http://www.theonion.com/archive/archive_kornfeld.
I really hate Dan Patrick.
It turns out that Slashdot was spoofed into printing a story on an already year old bad movie. They too believe that everything they read on the internet is true, republishing a story from Carpenter. Or at least one of their freelance writers believes it.... Micheal was reported as saying, "This is absolutely great."
You need a FREE iPod Nano
If only for showing that there is a moderator out there who thought that this was informative. Hehe.
The entire nation of China was
is amusing, but recognizing its base as the proposed ballpark for the St. Louis Cardinals makes it appear a little odd.
This got posted and my submission of AudioGalaxy got denied. I may be biased (since I submitted it) but I'd think AudioGalaxy getting sued in the same manner that Napster did would've been more newsworthy.
Mod away - I don't care about my karma level....
Cruising the internet on my TI-99/4A @ a whopping 300 baud!
Comment removed based on user account deletion
whats gona suck is when US soccer degrades to Football level. BTW who is the moron that goes 'were making a new sport, lets name it identical to that one in europe, and rename our version of that since we dont play it'
I live in a giant bucket.
No, I mean football... as in: a sport played right across the world with the *feet* and a ball.
American Football is rugby for padded-up homosexuals.
SmartFilterWhere(TM) for SmartFilter(TM) V3 confirms that the URL(s) you have entered are currently listed in the SmartFilter V3 Control List Categories shown below.
:(
www.theonion.com Extreme,Gen. News
"SmartFilter" is lame
Just think what news they would report if they had not blocked access to Washington Post and CNN. :-)
Guess they didn't peel the onion.
Will work for bandwidth
... You know what I mean. And then you can sit comfortably again.
Odd, when I go to read the story at reuters, there's just a page header and then the rest of the page is blank.
-- Note: If you don't agree with me, don't bother replying. I won't read it.
Apparently the reporter had eaten som Lemon Wacky Hello candy :-)
Just the header using Mozilla 1.0.
Weird.
Bill Gates Has No Penis.
The Onion's editor was on Conan and talked about how the London Times quoted the Onion article "DEA Chief: Winners Occasionally use drugs"
- Matt
Well if you think the Chinese are gullible then you should watch "Talking With Americans" by Rick Mercer. Rick is a Canadian comedian who interviews Americans in the US posing as a Canadian journalist (which is he is). He interviews regular people, politicians, anyone. He'll stun them with facts like we just got indoor plumbing, paved roads, tv, the 24 hour clock...lmao and the people believe it! It's so stupid how could anyone believe it!!!
here
and here
It's difficult to tell whether the Beijing News published it as a joke or not. If they took it seriously, think about what it implies about how poorly they understand the U.S. This poor understanding is in a country with which the U.S. is increasingly finding itself in confrontation. Such poor understanding could well contribute to a confrontation escalating to war. We all like to think that the Internet will contribute to better, not worse, understanding, but it certainly didn't in this case.
Within days of election night, The Onion came out with one of its greatest stories ever: Bush Or Gore: 'A New Era Dawns', accurately satirizing just how similar the two candidates were.
GoAT.
According to this page, American football developed from what the US now considers soccer.
This reminds me of a classmate that did a project on the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide. Their source, dhmo.org, was another well known internet spoof.
The thing that struck me here was not "how could they believe what they read in the Onion?", but "is there a segment of the Chinese that takes anything in print as fact?"
In our open society, we take freedom of the press to the extreme by publishing just about anything. It forces people to read news with a critical eye, which carries over to various aspects of out life. In a society where all information and editorial is controlled and filtered heavily, is it a surprise that "news" and "critical thinking" don't always go hand in hand.
I'm not trying to slight the Chinese here, I'm sure there are plenty of US Citizens who pick up the Onion and believe it as fact -- I'm sure it would confuse the heck out of my grandmother. And how many times have you seen someone repost a good April Fools joke as fact?
So yes, it's funny, but apply your critical thinking and take it in context -- that the world is full of gullible people.
Matt Slot / Bitwise Operator / Ambrosia Software, Inc.
I loved the hour-long special. The best part is the Jean Poutine prank linked in the parent. Of course, Bush's reply isn't much more intelligible.
"He understands I want to make sure our relationship with our most important neighbour to the north of us is strong and we'll work closely together,"
Emphasis mine.
Congratulations Canada on preserving your national igloo!
It's 'rhythm'. Stop using that CmdrTaco's speel chekcer.
--
If you moderate this, then your children will be next.
I thought the mainstream media was going to save us from all this Internet misinformation. After all, how can we unwashed masses be informed without their help?
I think it's funny as hell that after all the crap we've heard from the media about how the Internet is a dangerous playground of falsehood and misinformation, they were taken in by a web site well known among Internet users as being a satire site.
Anybody who has to be told that satire is satire is a red-ass baboon. If any hamadryas are reading this, I'm sorry for comparing you to stupid humans, but calling them chimps isn't insulting enough. If Ignorant Cocksucker would like to read some serious hard news, and doesn't like parody, check out www.uncoveror.com
How ya like dat?
I mean, for millions of Chinese Mao's Red Book is the essential guidance for their lives, more so than the Bible is to most Christians.
Now if the Bible is kind of boring, plodding and for the most part anachronic, the Red Book is stupid, full of trivialities, common places and downright idiotic notions. It's actually fun - highly recommended for party entertainment (no pun intended.)
In this light it isn't surprising that they the The Onion seriously as well.
The British are responsible for naming it "soccer". Aparantly, in the 1800s, many games were known as "football"--it referred to almost any sport played with a ball and two teams. The Football Association decided to codify the rules of what Americans call "soccer". Through a twist of abbreviations and name changes, the name got translated into "soccer" (the "soc" was from the word "association", and I guess "soccer" was easier to say than "the Football Association Football". To this day, you'll still find "soccer" stores (using that name) in the United Kingdom.
In case you hadn't noticed, rugby is actually a shortened name for Rugby Football. Football refers to lots of sports. The word "soccer" comes from the UK (I heard this on a BBC program about the sport). The US retained the name to prevent confusion from the other sport Americans played known as "football". Meanwhile, the rest of the world changed the other "football" sports to "rugby" (or any of a number of other names--the name really referred to hundreds of sports in the 1800s).
Since the UK invented football/soccer, and then codified its rules and named it "soccer", then the Americans can claim to be correct in calling it "soccer".
Here's a link to the origins of football/soccer. I can't find a reference as to when the name was assigned. You'll have to take my word on it (or do your own research). But the name definitely did not originate in the U.S.
--Be human.
...because we need coffee cups that says "Caution, contents HOT!" and commercials that have "Don't try this yourself" at the bottom of the screen as the SUV being advertised drives vertically up the side of a skyscraper and parks on the roof. In another few years, they'll probably have to interrupt movies every 15 minutes with a slide of text bearing a disclaimer that says, "The events you are watching are not really happening, but are fictional." Actually, this has already happened once, in 1983.
~Philly
If they were Spoofed then you would have seen an article on The Onion about Beijing and not an article about some news station in Beijing using a story on The Onion.
Visit the Arcade Restoration Workshop @ http://www.arcaderestoration.com
Gawd, I hate that pun!
YOU DIE NOW!
I remember watching NBC's "The View" once, okay so I was unemployed at the time watching random daytime TV and it is embarrasing to even admit. The asian girl on the board they had brought up a story about how Toyota had implemented an anti-terrorist device that would play John Tesh music in their vehicles that would force them to pull over so that the US troops would have an easy target. Aparently Toyota noticed how most of the vehicles being driven by the Taliban were their own Toyota pickup trucks. Problem is she thought this was a REAL news story and was shocked when the rest of the board told her that it was a fake news article. I really wish I could have found that story she was talking about it sounded pretty dern funny.
Bush Sr. Apologizes To Son For Funding Bin Laden In '80s MIDLAND, TX-- Former president George Bush issued an apology to his son Monday for advocating the CIA's mid-'80s funding of Osama bin Laden, who at the time was resisting the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. "I'm sorry, son," Bush told President George W. Bush. "We thought it was a good idea at the time because he was part of a group fighting communism in Central Asia. We called them 'freedom fighters' back then. I know it sounds weird. You sort of had to be there." Bush is still deliberating over whether to tell his son about the whole supporting-Saddam Hussein-against-Iran thing.
___
If you think big enough, you'll never have to do it.
Some friends and I just created a parody news site the other day. We're not really complete enough to start advertising, but that won't stop us from mentioning it once in a while, like, say, here.
:)
:)
But what does amuse me is that the line between real journalism and parody has gotten a lot slimmer in the recent years. Ever since The Daily Show, it's almost seemed better to get your news from someplace like that than a traditional boring newscast. The Daily Show seems to give accurate enough basis for the parody stuff they do, just twisted. Of course, the Domination News Network that myself and some friends created is a little more like The Onion, with the user community twist. I'm almost afraid now, that someone will take DNN seriously someday. Particularly since the "basis" for it is global domination by a conspiracy that's decided to go semi-public.
I keep wondering if I should be proud to get on any watch lists with some of the articles we may post someday?
Domination News Network
Suggestions for site improvement are always accepted, by the way. And submissions for content just as much so.
My own pointless vanity vintage computing page
Methinks that "writer" will soon be mining asbestos in a prison camp. And after he dies, his organs will be sold by the Chinese government for the good of the state.
When I load the page with Galeon or Konqueror, I get the blank page but when I load it with Mozilla it loads OK.
I heard atheism is a non-prophet organization :)
You meen that Microsoft DIDN'T patent ones and zeros?
I need to get out more...
> It was read on WAAF (bottom of the dung pile "rock" station) by "Mistress Carrie" for crying out loud! As if there was something better to listen to in Boston? Come on.
wow thanks for the info
That makes alot more sense than the limited trivia I'd previously heard.
Obviously. But keep in mind that liking football is a fature of almost all human culture, except USA (which nevertheless presented a surprisingly good team this year). Football is the most popular game in the world. American Football (as your light version of rugby is called everywhere else) on the other hand is just a bad substitute for the Roman Circus' gladiators (since it loses a lot without the weapons).
"I thought you Asientals were supposed to be smart."
- Ken Titus
Since when does Greenland neighbor the US?
After all, humor is notoriously hard to translate, is it surprising that the Chinese took the onion seriously ?
You got me there.
For some reason taste in music escapes most of the population out here.
Still, WAAF is OK on the weekends. I just wish they'd shut the DJs up and play some $#@ Music for a change. MTV (The Shiny Things Network*) has more music these days than the Boston stations.
* "After 16 years, MTV has finally completed its deevolution into the shiny things network"
"Live Free or Die." Don't like it? Then keep out of the USA
That is funny, everyone knows that Canadians don't have indoor plumbing... its so cold the pipes would break:-)
--Cam
All jocks think about is sports. All nerds think about is sex.
That's to be expected, most Americans (which I am) assume all of Canada is about as highly developed as the Yukon. If you look at it like that indoor plumbing and paved roads are a good deal. (Though not figuring out TV and the 24 hour clock are everywhere indicates he interviewed some incredibly stupid Americans).
No sig for you.
And of course, there aren't any ignorant Canadians. If you search for stupid people, you will find them. You probably won't have to look far in any nation. I always felt that a Canadian's opinion of American intelligence was much more revealing about the Canadian in question than Americans in general.
There are no trails. There are no trees out here.
Most of us take critical thinking for granted, but in communist countries the government tells you what to think. So when they read something in the newspaper, to them it is true. How sad.
is that you do not understand the definition of irony.
If it were circular - that would be irony.
Ever since that damn Alanis Morisette song, people are misusing irony to mean some kind of 'funny coincidence'
What is ironic is that none of the things that Alanis sings about are actually Ironic.
Isn't it Ironic, don't you think?
He asks to go on their show, and after a while, asks to talk some Dutch to the viewers back home. He says things along the lines of "This is a con-man, he's trying to steal your money..." and so forth.
It is very funny to watch.
dominionrd.blogspot.com - Restaurants on
I doubt the point of this story was about accuracy but more about reporting on events in the United States; more specifically the evils of democracy and capitalism. The newspaper wanted to show the Chinese people that the US government is greedy and how the Chinese government does so much more for the people.
The paper won't car about being wrong, yes they might print a small retraction on page 25 but few people will see that. All they will remember is that the capitol building contains concession stands and congress wants to spend millions retractable roof. This story doesn't make the newspaper look bad, they made their point whether the news was factual or not.
Now this may be a good thing that they will reprint dis-information if we ever go to war (think Russia and the end of the Cuban missile crisis). This does not make the Chinese people think any better of Americans.
I doubt the point of this story was about accuracy but more about reporting on events in the United States; more specifically the evils of democracy and capitalism. The newspaper wanted to show the Chinese people that the US government is greedy and how the Chinese government does so much more for the people.
The paper won't car about being wrong, yes, they might print a small retraction on page 25 but few people will see that. All they will remember is that the capitol building contains concession stands and congress wants to spend millions on a retractable roof. This story doesn't make the newspaper look bad, they made their point whether the news was factual or not.
Now this may be a good thing that they will reprint dis-information if we ever go to war (think Russia and the end of the Cuban missile crisis). This does not make the Chinese people think any better of Americans.
It's probably just the massive amount of caffeine circulating through my system right now but this quote made me laugh for a solid 5 minutes:
m l
"To be a scientist, you have to learn all this weird stuff, like how many molecules are in a proton,..."
Taken from: http://www.theonion.com/onion3821/science_hard.ht
Oh well, back to studying for chem.
If this had been an article in the Onion and Slashdot had believed it. As it is, I think the Onion missed out on a prime opportunity.
Oh well. I guess sometimes truth is just funnier than fiction, or something like that.
Nathan's blog
and
Death Star Opens Day Care Center
Pure classics. I remember when I first came across them quite some time ago. A couple examples of the few jokes that just don't wear out.
T
Find a story to submit to Slashdot!
I think that many people here are missing the point of what Cyc is supposed to do; Cyc is not boing built to be an intelligent machine, but a *knowledgable* machine.
Human intelligence comes both from our ability to process information *and* the large store of information we've acquired throughout our life.
I think that a good example of this was mentioned in the article. The statement "Mary and Jean are sisters." implies that each is a sister of the other, while the statement "Mary and Jean are mothers." does *not* imply anything of the sort. When you think about in, there really is no reason that "Mary and Jean are sisters." has to also imply that they are sisters *of each other*, it's just that this is usually what meant.
Think of Cyc as being a space alien: Because it has no exprience with the human way of life, things that are painfully obvious to us need to be taught to it.
A lot of people seem to be arguing that Cyc is a pointless project because it is not very intelligent, but I think they are missing the point. No matter the form our future intelligent machine may take, it will have to have simple, basic things explained to it.
Now, having said that, I'll admit that there is a possible exception to this: if we could also endow such a machine with human-style perception, and possible an ability to interact with the world, then we could treat it like a child and let it stumble upon the truths of the world on its own.
But regardless, my point still stands that common sense is *not* an intrinsic property of intelligence, but something additional that must be provided in order to make intelligence useful.
The Cyc project is not trying to make an intelligent machine, but it is trying to build up a database of common sense--which we may be grateful for later when we've built a machine that is intelligent enough to make serious use of it.
Snarkiness is inversely proportional to wisdom because it emphasizes feeling right rather than being right.
The Onion has disclaimers, if you are looking for them, on it's masthead page.
http://www.theonion.com/info/masthead.html
How ya like dat?
We already rate movies for sex and violence, why not rate internet content for truth and validity ?
Developers! developers! developers! deveLOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS!
(caps intentional)
nah!
In China, newspaper always like to publish the unconfirmed information, especially close 1st, April. But that's great, life needs some fun! Isn't it?
Don't laugh too much - that Onion story has been making its way around Christian circles, often being regarded as near gospel-truth.
I was recently at meeting of some 1,000 pastors from the São Paulo (Brazil) Pastor's Council where this report was read out (having been translated into Portuguese) and presumably believed by the majority because it had 'come from the Internet'.
(I can't work out why the above URL isn't showing up in my preview - it should be http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/harrypotter.h tm).
I refer you to Dictionary.com, which actually brings up the very subject you mentioned. Note that while it states that "78 percent of the Usage Panel rejects the use of ironically in [a manner to denote coincidence]", that means that slightly more than 1 in 5 of their faculty think this usage is just fine, or have no objections to it.
Furthermore, it is no coincidence that we read this story on Slashdot: they post stories here all the time, and people read them. What is "contrary to what was expected" is the number of levels all talking about essentially the same thing. Therefore, this story is ironic, because you REALLY wouldn't expect it.
My Blog: http://nic.dreamhost.com/
is about the slashdot story about a fake news story about a fake news story....
Don't park drunk, accidents cause people.
Damn right that year old review of U-571 by Micheal was overrated. It should have never made the site. EVER. Will sell Karma for truth.
You need a FREE iPod Nano
Hahahaha!!! Hohohohho! ...Um, and that quote was? While I enjoyed the rant about your 3rd cousins uncles brothers religious news letter, your post lacks any sort of value without said link.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Um..."
"Errr..."
"Uh..."
"Damn. I forgot, but trust me, it was funny."
Whatever.
You need a FREE iPod Nano
...about as highly developed as the Yukon. If you look at it like that indoor plumbing and paved roads are a good deal.
Actually, I know some Yukoners, and they don't have communal wells or outhouses. They have indoor plumbing. They also have paved roads in/around/to/from Whitehorse. However, in Nunavut (the high arctic), paved roads, or any roads, are almost non-existant simply because of the great distances between communities. It's simpler to simply fly bush planes in and out rather then use trucks and whatnot. Tradeoff is that a bottle of Pepsi will go for a good 6 bucks or so.
(Though not figuring out TV and the 24 hour clock are everywhere indicates he interviewed some incredibly stupid Americans).
Well he did interview a few state governors with similar results. California and Arkensas if IIRC. Oh wait.. Never mind.
Holy crap, do you know the name of this program? I'd love to read more about it.
Why you throw chip?
"World Nuked After Terrible Parody Gone Wrong"
The padding and protective gear isn't because they're wimps, but because they're a lot larger than their rugby counterparts. Getting hit by someone that size tends to break things (such as ribs, knees, arms . .
Does anyone remenmber who wrote the story about combat rules football?
hawk
(Though not figuring out TV and the 24 hour clock are everywhere indicates he interviewed some incredibly stupid Americans).
Like, Dubya?
(Or would that be un-patriotic?)
No, sorry, i forgot it.
dominionrd.blogspot.com - Restaurants on
How about a sign saying- " You need an IQ at least *THIS* big to view this site" . With a small number next to it...
...and he grinned, like a fox eating shit out of a wire brush.
The thing is, really, what we're seeing is how little Americans think about Canada. Most of them just think of it as America, Jr. anyway. So, Americans don't care about Canada, and meanwhile, Canadians have this massive inferiority complex and try to work so hard not to be America, Jr. (with things like Canadian-content laws and whatnot, and then something like the parent post's links).
I remember when I was going to spend a semester abroad, they showed this film to all the students who were going abroad in my school. The film was about things like culture shock and differences between our customs and theirs, etc. The thing that was revealed about halfway in, though, was that the film was made in Canada for Canadians. But it was completely interchangeable with an American film.
I mean, we even have the *National* Hockey League which is US/Canadian. And the Toronto Blue Jays play in the *American* League in baseball. And don't tell me that "American" could refer to "North America". Because the National League (note: not "International") has the Montreal Expos.
I know most Canadians don't mind us USians, but really they should be joyful that we are there. They get to be everything good about the US, without having to be hated by the world and without being in the middle of every horrible scary conflict going on nowadays.
Article citing this history here
>know most Canadians don't mind us USians, but really they should be joyful that we are there.
.1% that causes so many international image problems for the U.S.
You see, its an attitude like this that causes the problems. In my experience 99.9% of the Americans I've met were wonderful, friendly, educated and generally first-class people. Its that remaining
You have clearly started with the base assumption that the U.S.A. is the most wonderful, bestest place in the whole wide world to live. For some types of people this is, no doubt, true.
It comes down to mindset. If you are a capitalist through and through, then yes... the U.S. is a utopian paradise. If you work hard, and have some luck, you can be amongst the elite. "The American Dream" they call it.
However, I would wager that there are several people worldwide who don't like: Watching fellow citizens die because they can't afford health care; the idea that anyone with a hankerin' for a gun can get one; the idea that children have ready access to serious firearms and use them to slaughter other children; the idea that when other nations attack its terrorism... but when the U.S. "influences" central american politics to achieve a desired outcome its "patriotism" and "defending democracy".... (again, please note I'm not trying to pass value judgement on these actions. I'm not saying they weren't justified... just that this is a matter of opinion, and not everyone agrees on it.)
I'm sure you see where this is going.
The point is: Many Candians do NOT like "everything good" about the US. Indeed, they are bitterly resentful that your culture continues to erode ours, and we are powerless to stop it because there are so few of us and so many of you. Its not an 'inferiority complexity' as you so pejoratively put it... its an expression of the fact that we have somewhat different values than you do.
Don't assume everyone deperately wants to be a U.S. citizen. It is arrogant, ignorant and makes you a poster boy for what non-americans hate about the U.S.
Again, I'm *not* saying the U.S. is a bad place. There are many wonderful things about it. I'm just saying that it isn't everyones deepest desire to live in your society.
I read an interview with one of the staff writers. He was talking about "How far was too far" when thinking of stories about 9-11 (so as not to offend to many people). I remember one of them, which I'm glad they didn't print because I literally would have died laughing had they printed it:
"Pentagon to be Renamed Quadragon"