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Moms Go Linux, And Other Windependence Winners
An anonymous reader writes "There's an entertaining article over at DesktopLinux.com entitled "Why Aren't All Our Moms Running Linux?", one of the winners of their recent wIndependence Day essay contest. From the introduction: 'Why aren't all our moms running Linux? This is a serious question, so don't laugh. I used to get phone calls about once a week, on average; it's my mom, telling me that "my computer is running out of virtual memory" or "my email keeps beeping at me" or "I can't read this document" or (the best one) "my computer is *broken*." I knew that, at the time, she was of course not running Linux. Then, one day, listening to yet another complaint, it hit me. Why aren't all our moms running Linux on their computers?" Maybe it's the cuddly Penguin logo? ;-)" They're adding the winning entries to the site week by week - I wonder how many are from Slashdot readers.
you actually think youd get LESS calls from your mom running linux?
insanity, at best.
all nigger shit
OMG BIG PENIS ATE MY SOUP
Look at all the noise in the last story you idiots!
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+
end
fp
Word out to my dead troll homies, and bradmont.
because mom's usually aren't geeks, they just raise them....
;P
FP btw.
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Yeah, I showed her a few things about the command line, but man, she sure could work a mouse. I'll be back by her house later. BOOYAH!
Hoyle card and board games...
Linux needs a super scrabble game then we'll get all the moms.
My mom all of a sudden asked why her computer was running better than usual and looked cooler, when I went to investigate i discovered that i had left it booted in Linux rather then windows.
_______
Death wish, n.:
The only wish that always comes true, whether or not one wishes it t
Does anyone know if employees at Microsoft like Linux? What do the developers at MS think about Linux?
My mom is still trying to get the hang of her cellphone. She is way too scared to even venture into PC's at this stage despite all my prompting that it is "sooo easy". Somehow, they just manage to intimidate her, which is quite odd as most other things in life don't intimidate her.
I guess it is some kind of mental block.
"I'm a man!" I groaned. "I've been fucked by a man's cock! I'm not a boy anymore!"
I scooped Dad's and Uncle Brian's shit into my hands and smeared my body with their warm filth. Lying on the floor of the basement, wallowing in
the waste of these two men, I gazed up at the candles. They flickered silently. I lay at the foot of the cross as upon an altar where I was
the victim being offered up to the God of raunch!
Dad and Uncle Brian held me in their arms. Our filthy, smelly bodies rubbing against one another. My cock stirred and jerked upward within the confines of the leather jockstrap. I reached down and pulled it free, stroking it with my shit fillled hand.
The warmth of manturd on my cock, the stench that wafted into my nostrils made my body tremble and my asshole, my dirty asshole, quivered at the sensation it had just felt for the very first time!
My tight boy hole was no longer virgin territory. My father had filled me with his manhood and his seed. I belonged to him now in a special way.
Reaching up to my Dad, I grasped the back of his neck with my shitty hand and drew his lips towards mine.
"Am I a man now, Dad?" I whispered, as his lips grazed mine.
"Yes, my son!" he answered, softly. "You are now a man!"
Uncle Brian slid down, trailing wet kisses along my filth covered body. Closer and closer he slid his mouth towards my hard cock.
"Mmmmmmmmmmmm!" I moaned, as he took my raunchy dick into his mouth and sucked. "Yeah! Suck my dirty dick, Uncle Brian! Fuckin' suck your
shit off my dick!"
I squirmed, thrusting my hips upwards, sinking my cock deep within my Uncle's mouth.
As he sucked on my dick, he reached up and to his left, ramming his fingers up his brother's asshole!
"Aaaaaahhhhhh!" Dad groaned, welcoming this intrusion. "Fuck! Give it to me Brian. Fist my shitty hole!"
Slowly, Dad got up on all fours. He positioned himself over me, his cock hanging over my mouth.
"My fuckhole is so hungry, Brian! I need your fist up my ass!"
Uncle Brian took his mouth off of my dick and knelt between my outstreatched legs and Dad's upturned ass. He worked several fingers in and out of Dad's asshole. The pasty goo oozing out of Dad's shithole served as lube as Uncle Brian inserted all five of his fingers in Dad's butthole!
"Fuck yeah! Give it to me, little brother! More!" Dad groaned, pushing his hairy ass back onto Uncle Brian's disappearing fingers. The knuckles penetrated. Dad maoned out loud and reached for the bottle of Rush.
I could hear him inhaling the vapors from the bottle deeply. I sucked his cock into my mouth.
"Ah fuck!" Dad cried out, as my head jerked upward to swallow his semi-hard cock and Uncle Brian's hand sunk into Dad's gaping, hungry hole!
"How's that feel, brother?"
"Fuckin' wonderful, Brian! Fuck me! Punch my ass, little brother!"
Uncle Brian scooped some of the shit from my body and coated his arm
with it. Sighing with animal lust he began fucking Dad's ass with his
fist.
"More! More!" Dad grunted, pushing his ass back taking more of Uncle
Brian's arm up his ass. "Find something up there you like, Brian?"
"I feel shit, Chris!" Uncle Brian yelled, "I can feel your fuckin' butt
slop!"
"Yeah! Dig for shit, little brother! Dig for my stinking shit! That's
your playground, Brian! Give it to me, fucker! Punch my dirty ass!"
Uncle Brian pistoned his fist in and out of Dad's ass. When he withdrew
his hand completely I could feel Dad's warm shit oozing out of his
asshole onto my dick. I sucked his cock harder.
"Yeah! You fuckiin' cocksucker! Suck my dick, Philip! Suck it while
your Uncle fists my shitty asshole!"
"Fuckin' shit pigs!" Uncle Brian shouted. "We're fuckin' dirty pigs!"
"Fist my raunchy ass, Brian! Shove your fuckin' arm up my dirty ass!"
Uncle Brian lunged forward. Dad's greedy hole swallowed his brother's
arm up to the elbow!
"Yes! Yes! You fuckin' bitch! Pound my ass, Brian! Suck my fuckin'
dick, Philip! Don't stop! Please don't stop, the both of you!
Aaaaaahhhhhh! Fuck!"
Uncle Brian and I worked in unison giving pleasure to Dad. The one
fisting; the other sucking; Dad moaning in ecstacy.
"Need more!" Dad yelled. "I wanna feel Philip's fist up my ass with
yours too!"
I gasped as Dad pulled his dick out of my mouth.
"Get back there with your Uncle, Philip, and shove your fist up my
hungry asshole! I want you both at the same time!"
I wiggled myself from beneath my Dad and knelt beside my Uncle Brian
whose arm was embedded in his brother's shithole.
"There's some crisco in the toy bag, Philip. Lube your hand up with
it."
I retrieved the can and proceded to grease up my hand and forearm.
"Are you ready, Philip?"
"Oh yeah!" I hissed as Uncle Brian retracted his arm to his wrist.
"Fuck me, guys!" Dad hollered, "I wanna feel the both of you up my ass
digging for shit!"
"Slide your fingers up your Dad's ass, one at a time, Philip. Do it
slow. Take your time. When you're all the way in, hold my hand!"
I did as I was told. One finger at a time.
"Fuck! Fuck!" Dad yelled. "Give it to me, son!"
Slowly, my hand disappeared into the gaping, dirty hole. My hand slid
alongside that of my Uncle's and he curled his fingers around mine.
"Ah shit!" Dad let out a loud gasp. He looked back at us, his eyes
glazed with lust. "Fucking pigs!" he screamed. "Fuck me! Fist fuck
my shitty ass!"
In tandem, Uncle Brian and I pumped our fists deeper and deeper into the
willing, hungry asshole. As we fisted Dad's ass, Uncle Brian kissed me
deeply. Our mouths greedily sucking each other's tongues as our fists
punched away in the sewer of my Dad's filthy butthole.
"Aaaaaahhhhhh! Yeeeeessssss! Yeah! Pound my motherfuckin' dirty ass!
Fuck me! Dig the shit outta my ass, you fuckin' sluts! Fuckin' pigs!"
As I gazed upwards, the candles flickered softly, casting their glow
upon the cross which the three of us, eerily were kneeling before.
Together, we were upon the altar of Raunch. A new sacrificial lamb was
being offered up to the God of Shit!
I clasped my Uncle Brian's huge, uncut cock in my free hand and began
stroking.
"Jack me off, Philip! Make me cum!"
I pull and pull on his cock, milking the pre-cum from his pisshole. He
reaches for my dick and returns the favor. Stroke for stroke, we
masturbate one another as we bury our fists up Dad's filthy asshole.
A million shocks of pleausure envelope my body. I'm tingling all over.
So much has happened to me tonight. So many new discoveries. Pain with
pleasure. Pleasure with pain!
The journey that began several months ago has opened up for me a whole
new world that I embrace willingly.
"Yes! Yes! Jack me off too, Uncle Brian! I wanna cum again!"
Together, the three of us pull on cocks. We are untied, bound together
in a very special union.
"Fuck! Fuck!" we gasp in unison, "I'm gonna fuckin' shoot!"
Our bodies heave and tremble. Dad impales himself more deeply upon mine
and Uncle Brian's fists as he ejaculates upon the floor.
One by one. One right after another, our cocks explode sending ropes of
cum flying in the air.
As Uncle Brian and I retract our hands from Dad's ass, a slurping sound
is heard. His puckering bud flares and a foul smelling fart hisses from
his fisted hole. It's stink fills my nostrils as I collapse onto him,
my mouth at his asshole. Sucking. Nursing at the brown shit log he's
pushing out of his asshole into my mouth.
I tumble onto the floor, my mouth filled with Dad's shit. Uncle Brian
collapses beside me and kisses me deeply. A sloppy, slurping shit kiss.
Dad too, crashes to the floor, panting heavily in the aftermath of his
orgasm. He moans and releases a flow of warm piss that streams its way
towards Uncle Brian and I.
I am in heaven! The journey of a boy to manhood is completed.
Epilogue
January 1, 2000
It's cold outside. The wind is whipping snow against the window. I'm
making this enty into my journal sitting on a rim seat gazing at the
falling snow.
Dad is under the rim seat receiving my morning dump, the way he always
does, in his hungry mouth!
As for Uncle Brian. He lives here with Dad and I now. He's our lover.
We're each other's lovers. Strange isn't it, how things come about?
As Dad feeds from my asshole, Uncle Brian is sucking on my pissing cock.
Outside, the snow is swirling. Everything is beautiful. What more
could a sixteen-year-old teenage boy ask for?
You tell me! Slashdot.org
Mainly because he is a nigger.
Slashdot only allows a user with your karma to post 2 times per day. You've already shared your thoughts with us that many times. Take a breather, and come back and see us in 24 hours or so.
If you think this is unfair, please email jamie@mccarthy.vg with your username "xdfgf".
Interesting to note that he says "No more error messages" and not "No more errors". Freudian slip?
Boy this makes no sense! I find Linux to have a steep learning curve, and I've been using computers since the 60's. Yes, I finally got mom on a computer, but there is no way I could support her on Linux.
But the big issue is why in the world does this story have a megaphone icon rather than the cuddly Penguin logo?
I'm an American. I love this country and the freedoms that we used to have.
Josh had just completed his hell week - a straight 8 hour week of
tennis camp (if you must know, it's in southern CA). Plopping down on the
couch, he reflected on that day...what a week. It started out pretty
normal - dying in 107 degree weather doing drills that were supposed to
make you better and, failing that, so tired you couldn't complain. He
remember the first day when he saw her.
Josh was enjoying a nice cool break when a girl about his age came in.
She was quite cute and I found myself looking with interest at those tight
shorts and shirt she was wearing. And boy did HE like what he saw.
He had to get the name of this one girl. Casually in passing he asked
for the name from one of the coaches. Reegan. Interesting name, not a
usual name for a girl...but this was not a usual girl anyways. From what
Josh had seen of young females (which of course wasn't much - Josh is
young, remember) nothing compared to this young girl who was sitting
across from him.
The first few days passed without much incident between them, other
than stares (and Josh found that she was staring sometimes too - probably
noticed he had been staring - but quickly looked away when they met eyes).
The third day, they were stuck in the same tennis group. I personally
considered it a sign from heaven. I was SURE of it. Anyways, considering
we got water breaks together, we talked and talked and talked. I learned
where she was from, where she was staying, her dogs name and her cats name
and the reasoning behind it - small talk like that. I (yes, I am josh)
found myself attracted to this girl beyond belief. We had lunch together
twice (privately, not with the group...and the occasional
accidental-on-purpose touching of wherever it seemed least conspicuous -
her hands, arms, legs (under the table), one time while we were passing
through an enclosed space I even got a feel of her firm ass. My young
cock was straining through my shorts (TENNIS shorts, I had to run to the
bathroom and wait for myself to cool off). She even saw and smiled,
winked, but didn't say a thing.
Well, the next day came and it was a HOT day. Somewhere upwards of
100 degrees at 10:00. Needless to say, we were a bit warm. After lunch
at 1:00, we came outside again to the heat, and did a few drills. During
a water break, we sat on a bench together and talked. I got up, filled my
cup with water and sat down (ice cold water). Without warning, I
accidently-on-purpose drenched the front of her white shirt (!!) and
watched as she gasped and turned bright red. She was wearing a cute white
bra underneath and it looked quite nice (although before this i had
tantalizing glimpses of her underclotehs while she sweated - quite
prettily). Then she got a wicked gleam in her eye and took ice and shoved
it down the back of my shorts. Now one thing is drenching with
water...shoving ice down someone shorts is NOT very nice (geez, it was
COLD against my backside and cock when it finally slid around) and her
eyes were on me as I sqiurmed. I stuck a hand down the front of my shorts
to fish out the ice and wouldn't you know it a coach walked up. He asked
what we were doing (I suppose it would be quite...umm...suspicious if two
teens were sitting there with one person's hand down his pants and the
other girl staring at him with a wet t-shirt.). His eyebrow went up, but
he just ordered us back onto our courts. (we caught something as we
walked as he mumbled "kids..."). Soon I was greeted to her pretty ass
moving as she ran across the court, her developing breasts bouncing
slightly...(I don't think many people realize what is revealed when a
young girl wearing a tennis skirt bends down to pick up a ball...). Once,
i even hit that lucious backside with my hands as I accidently-on-purpose
bumped into her while she was picking up something. My hand just barely
stroked her panty-covered ass and she pulled away and blushed.
The next day was the day where we started to get a little more serious
about having some fun. We pulled the usual ice down the shirt/shorts (I
stuck a handful down her shorts and watched her eyes widen...). Drenched
each other with water, that sort of thing. Well, when we finished lunch,
it was extremely hot. I complained (I had nowhere to go - I lived in CA,
so I didn't need to spend the night at the tennis camp. Her, on the other
hand, lived more north, so she had a room there). I complained that it
was too hot and she teased me about how she had air conditioning and I
didn't. I growled in jest and said I wish I had one. Coyly she looked up
at me and asked if I would like to come back to her room.
Duh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...sure!
As we walked to her room, I slipped a hand around her waist. She
giggled and pulled away slightly but I kept my hand there. Sometimes
gently stroking her ass or leg but generally not doing too much. As we
arrived at the room, she opened the door with a key and pushed me against
the wall and kissed me.
Now, I don't know about you, but that's a pretty good indication that
she liked me. Her hands started running over me. I on the other hand,
did not like to be pressed against a wall. So I just turned and plopped
her against the wall and heard a muffled squeak from her lips while we
kissed. My hands slowly caressed her thighs underneath her skirt and she
giggled and kissed deeper.
(note: there were a set of rules that we agreed to when entering this
camp. The first few were like "No smoking" "No violence/fights" etc.
Another one was "I agree not to have sexual relations with an member of
the opposite sex or act in any way which may have sexual
overtones"...whoops, darn, broke another rule).
She pulled me over to the bed. I stood at the base of the bed while
she stretched out on the bed. GAWD she is beautiful. She lifted her
shirt, unhooked her bra, took off her skirt in less than 10 seconds. She
kept her panties on. There was a little wet spot forming in the middle of
those panties which intriuged me. I experimentally sucked on the crotch
of thoes panties and rubbed with my tongue a little. She moaned and
spread =her legs wide. of course, I was getting about as hard as a steel
pipe. I pulled her panties to one side and started to lap up the juice
that was trickling down from her beautiful lips. SHe gigled and pulled my
head deeper. I pulled away, and when she looked at me in question, I
swiftly streigthened her legs and pulled her panties down in one fluid
motion. She gasped and crossed her legs self-conciously. I patiently
uncrossed them and resumed my licking. It was pretty tight down there,
even for a tongue...but it was sure hot and wet and it tasted good! I
sucked gently on her moist pussy lips and stretched them a little with my
teeth. She moaned even louder now. I used my tongue to drift around and
explore while she giggled and moaned. Every time my tongue came in
contact with her clit, she gasped and giggled and jerked her bottom, which
I had quite a firm hold on with both hands and was squeezing every so
often. She started shaking and I wiggled a finger up her ass for a little
added effect. That almost put her over the top right there, but I didn't
stop licking. I nibbled sometimes on the sensative clit she had, and
licked all around to clear the juices out. She was now flowing like a
stream. She was shaking and moaning and I drank up her juices. As she
came onto my face she tightened up around my tongue and I grabbed her ass
hard when she did. She gasped and lay still for about 30 seconds.
"Your turn" was all she said.
She rolled me over and pulled me down onto the bed, at which point she
almost ripped off my clothes in effort to get at my young shaft. She
gigled as I jerked when she touched it and squeezed a little. She looked
questioningly up at me and I smiled and nodded. She started sucking the
tip very gently. I had my hands in her hair and pulled her head closer to
me. When I came, I gasped warning, but she swallowed every bit of my
young cum. She let it run down her mouth and all over her face and down
her body.
Well, now I was still hard. I licked her pussy again just to get her
started, then drifted up along her stomach. My face was still wet with
her juice and I rubbed it on her. She moaned as I started tentatively
sucking on a white breast and slowly licking the nipple. THose nipples of
hers were getting a bit hard, and I nibbled and bit on one, bringing a
gasp and a sigh from her. I swirled my tongue around the nipple and
continued to suck. Her other breast had the attention of my hands, caressing and pinching and tweaking and loving.
She started to juice a little again onto my legs and I drifted kisses up
her shoulders, onto her neck, and finally giving her a big wet french kiss
full of her juices on her mouth. She spread her legs again and this time
I wasn't going to use my mouth. My hands grabbed her ass and I thrust my
rock hard cock into her love nest. She gasped and her hands tightened on
my back, but then moaned and rocked on it, swerving and moving her hips in
time with a rhythm only she knew. She wrapped her legs around my backside
and rolled over and effectively impaled herself on my cock. She gasped
more and I felt the moist inside of her pussy begin to contract. She
rotated her hips along my cock and moaned. I decided to take my hands
from her ass and gently squeezed her breasts. THis made her moan more and
start shaking from the cock stroking her young pussy. My cock was still
not fully in. I could tell she was almost going to cum again (and so was
I) and I rolled her over onto the bed at which point I promptly shoved my
steel pipe all the way into her juice wetness. She gasped and whimpered
but then started milking my cock with her pussy. When she came and her
pussy clamped down on my cock and spurted goo onto it, she squeezed every
last bit of cum out of my exploding cock. When I was still cumming, she
pushed me up so I came on her body! Directing the white goo by holding my
shaft, I spurted all over her entire body. She closed her eyes, arched
her back, and enjoyed the feeling.
But now we had a problem. We were both covered in cum and sweat.
Luckily for her she had a change of clothes and my clothes were perfectly
dry. However, it wouldn't do to put on dry clothes on a sopping wet body.
So I picked her up and carried her to the shower. While she was under
the shower, I washed her off by putting soap on my hands and running my
hands on every part of her body, public and private. Up the pussy, into
the ass, around the breasts, etc. When I was under the shower, she did
the same although most of her time with her caressing soapy hands was
spent at massagin my cock. I came in the shower (and so did she after
massaged her pussy with my tongue) but luckily we cleaned up and got out
before we decided to do too much more. We dried off easily by drying each
other off with fluffy towels and then dressed.
The entire time we were there, we walked around hand-in-hand or with
my hands around her waist. We often kissed when we could find time and
privacy. And we even made love one more time before she left. I never
lost intrest in her and never will. During our second time, I kept her
clothes on and made her cum into her jeans and watched a dark spot grow.
Then I spanked her cute little ass after pulling up a skirt she was
wearing and pulling down the panties. When I spanked her, I shoved a
finger up her pussy every time I spanked so by the 10th time I spanked
her, she came into my hand. We tried nearly everything I could think of
having to do with sex in every possible way. Oral, 69, missionary, you
name it we did it. By the end of the week, we were quite experienced and
left each other with a kiss, love, and a lick.
as soon as I get around to installing Nevy OS on an old 486 for her. It uses Konqueror embedded and QT embedded to work through framebuffer without requiring X. Their preview version is a shocking 8MB download, but only includes the web browser, a notepad, and a network configuration program.
"I assumed blithely that there were no elves out there in the darkness"
Congrats! Because of the fucked up decision to limit the trolls to 2 posts a day, there's a flood of AC trolls...which are now seen at a threshold of 0 instead of -1, which is pretty much acknowledged to be Troll Territory.
So basically you've increased the people who will view our trolls. I salute you for doing this! We trolls need a wider audience.
On a related note, come hang out with us in #trolls on the IRC server, trollaxor.com. Tell them egg troll sent ya, and get a years supply of turtle wax!
As a Linux user wanting to spread The Word, I tried to get my parents interested in Linux and Open Source Software. I showed them Mandrake - all the cute little icons and the cool games and screensavers. Since they dont do much other than web-surfing (mainly reading email thru a web interface), it seemed like a natural choice.
Then, I made the mistake of showing my mother a Gentoo Linux install - a screenfull of bizzare and verbose gcc flags scrolling across a text console. She became frightened and intimidated. I tried to explain to her that all I did was type 2 words, "emerge gnome", and that it was nothing to be scared of - and I tried to explain the process. Now, shes afraid to try Linux - and everyone I try to recommend Linux to gets scared off by her proclamations of how "difficult" it is.
*sigh* Oh well.....who was it that said "GUIs are like diapers - everyone grows out of them eventually".
I put Mandrake on my grandmas a while ago. It works great for her needs...web, e-mail, word processing, printer support, and a load of games that come with kde/gnome/etc that are great for the kids when they come over...
---
Always standing, I am a tree awaiting the lightning. -Samael, Crown
I set up a box for my mom to use. She's a teacher, she types papers, prints them out; occasionally browses the web; and checks email about once a week (now that she can). The box runs Linux.
For awhile, I had her running KDE, but the box was as Celery 400 or so with 128MB of RAM, and KDE 2.x is a dog for performance. So I switched her over to ROX (RiscOS On X) and sawfish with a pretty theme (much like one I use).
She has icons for printing, trash, logging in, and OpenOffice, in addition to folders for her documents and public_html (which I explained to her was the place to put documents she wanted to share, so my Windows-using dad had a way to get at them). It works great. She loves it. I can modify it remotely. It doesn't break. It runs Linux.
Don't think of it as a flame---it's more like an argument that does 3d6 fire damage
My wife uses Linux... Does that count? She's patient, still raising me -- kids are all older.
My mom's 83 years old. I'm pretty sure she doesn't know what a computer's for... She uses phrases like, "New fangled notion!". Anyone know what that means?
My wife and I have been married for five years and have enjoyed a long
monogamous relationship. I never claimed to be real experienced at sex prior
to our marriage and my wife went to the altar a virgin. However, we learned
quickly and developed a very satisfying sex life. In fact, both of us like to
have sex almost every day. If we can't for some reason, we both get kind of
cranky and obsessed until our urges are satisfied.
This has made us very compatible over the years. Tracy is a petite brunette
with an ass that turns heads (mine, at least). At 5' 1" and 102 lbs. she has
oversized breasts that capture one's attention. I thank heaven that she picked
me to be her life partner.
About six months ago I received a call from an old "buddy" saying he was going
to be in town for a couple of weeks and would like to get together with me and
my wife. Steve and I had been really close before he stole my girlfriend from
me our senior year. We had not talked since graduation. He went off to
college and became an architect while I got a job at the mill. The only reason
I eventually forgave him is because I figured he did me a favor. The girl I
had been dating turned out to be a total slut. She hadn't put out for me, but
had developed quite a reputation after Steve had finished dating her. A short
time later I met Tracy and my life has been wonderful ever since. Anyway,
Steve offered to buy Tracy and me dinner at a nice restaurant while he was in
town. During dinner, Steve mentioned he would be staying at a hotel out of
town because a convention had booked all the local rooms. Well, Tracy would
have none of that and kindly
offered the use of our extra bedroom for the duration of his stay.
Steve quickly accepted. We hardly saw Steve the first couple of days he stayed
because of his work schedule. However, Thursday evening Tracy accidentally
walked in on Steve while he was getting out of the shower. She ran back into
our bedroom gasping with a look of shock on her face. I asked her what
happened and she explained that she had seen
Steve naked. I told her it was no big deal. She said that it was indeed a big
deal, an eight inch big deal and he was not even hard. I laughed and didn't
think much more of the incident until later that night. My wife and I were
getting sexy and she was slowly stroking my 4 inches when she mentioned the
size of Steve's cock. She wondered how big it was hard. I told her that I
would ask. She giggled and said it was no big deal. We both had a good laugh
and some great sex.
The next day I thought "what the heck" and told Steve about the incident. He
laughed and said that for Tracy's information he was 12 " long when hard. I
looked at him in amazement, then shrugged thinking of my own size. I couldn't
believe that I had penis envy. Steve must have read my thoughts because he
asked me about the size of mine. When I told him 4 ", he thought for a second
and then leaned close and
said he knew how I felt. I gave him my "yea, right" sarcastic look. He lowered
his voice asked if I could keep a secret. I nodded and he said that a couple
of years ago his penis was even smaller than mine. I looked at him in further
disbelief. He looked me straight in the eyes and said "It's true, I found a
way to permanently increase the size of my cock!" My expression didn't
change. "I'll bet it could work for you
too! It's really pretty simple and doesn't hurt a bit!" he added in response to
my skepticism. I had to admit that I was intrigued by the thought. Steve
could somehow tell that I was interested but wary. He put his hand to his
chin like he was deep in thought, formulating an idea. Then he raised his
eyebrows as if he had just come up with some sort of idea.
"What?" I asked.
he satisfaction of helping out an old friend and perhaps make up for
taking my girlfriend all those years ago.
"Besides," he continued, "Tracy needs to experience the thrill
of a full size cock. Women who do are never the same again."
Later that night, I discussed our talk with Tracy. I asked her what she
thought of Steve's offer. Would she prefer me with a large cock? She was
silent for a while. Finally, she sighed and said "Well, if there is nothing to
lose.then what the heck?" I suspect that she was more excited than she let on
because the sex that night was some of our best ever. After we calmed down
she asked what the procedure was for the
"enlargement". I told her that Steve had not yet filled in the
details, but we would find out tomorrow. I woke up in the middle of the night
to find Tracy next to me in bed and rubbing her pussy. I pretended to just
roll over so she wouldn't notice that I was awake. The thought of being fucked
by a huge dick had obviously had its effect on her.
The next afternoon Steve called me into his room. He reached into a bag and
pulled out what appeared to
be an oversize transparent bicycle pump. "This is it!" he proudlyproclaimed.
I must have had a confused look on my face because he smiled and said "trust
me." He went on to explain the general procedure. I was to use this device 3
to 4 times a day to "invigorate" my member. He said it involved sticking my
cock into the end of the tube and pumping on the handle. During use of the
tube my cock would greatly expand in size until I came. After orgasm my cock
would return to its normal size. This would happen during the
"development" phase of the process. The development phase could last from a
couple of weeks to many
months if I slacked off on the invigoration. However, eventually the change
would come. When my cock
had become acclimated to the increased size, it would simply not get smaller
after an invigoration induced orgasm. Presto, huge cock! He said the best
part was that the invigoration part was fun. Tracy could even help out! He
even estimated that based on the size of my cock right now I could
anticipate 14 to 15" when finished. I would dwarf his own large member. He
also said that it was important to "set" the final size once achieved,
otherwise it might not "take".
According to him, setting the size requires a constant external pressure on the
penis just after final size is attained. This pressure somehow negates the
vacuum effect that the tube causes, thus setting the size. Fortunately, an
accommodating pussy does just the trick. I didn't really understand what he
was talking about. I was never all that great in science. But Steve assured
me that we could worry about that later. Besides, he said, "Tracy will love
it!" Well, that was all it took to get me started. I took the tube and headed
to the bathroom. My first attempt was a little clumsy, but I soon got the hang
of it. My cock really did look bigger in the tube. The orgasm shook my body.
I thought the treatment might end up being more fun than I anticipated. Later
that day I invigorated twice more until my cock was limp.
When Tracy came home I told her all about it. She got so charged up that she
jumped me on the spot. It was then that I realized the main side-effect. The
invigoration process left my cock too sore and tired to be of any use to Tracy.
I rubbed her off, but it just wasn't the same. She really needed cock to get
her excited. We both agreed the payoff would be worth it. After about a week
Steve prepared to leave for home saying he would be back in town in a couple of
weeks. He instructed me to keep with it and encouraged Tracy to
think of large cocks in her dreams. He knew it was only a mater of time before
her dream would be a reality. By this t. He had yelled for a towel and when she
entered to give it to him she saw he wasn't covered. Before he could grab the
towel, he had to cross the room from the tub. Tracy said that his cock was at
full attention the whole way, all 12 massive inches. She said she couldn't
keep her eyes off it. Steve took the towel and wiped his cock as he looked
into her eyes, all before covering up. Tracy quickly excused herself and told
me what happened. I assured her that it was certainly an accident and that the
lack of sex was affecting her judgment. Steve never mentioned a
thing, so I'm sure he was as embarrassed as Tracy was. He left for home a few
hours later and Tracy and I settled into our normal routine. I continued to
use the tube as often as possible. I couldn't wait until Tracy would feel my
cock inside her again. She must have felt the same way because I could feel
her rubbing herself off every night while she though I slept. After a couple
of weeks, I was hopeful that the change
would come any day now.
As it turned out, Steve didn't get back into town for about three weeks.
Again, he stayed in our spare room. Tracy seemed especially glad to see him.
I wanted to ask him if he thought treatment was working on me and when I could
expect some results. It was getting tiring using the tube three times a day.
My cock was like a limp rag doll between sessions. Tracy was starting to get
really cranky. After unpacking, I asked Steve for an assessment of my
progress. He said he wasn't sure, but everything appeared to be on track. It
could happen any day now. Tracy and I were thrilled. All that effort was
going to pay off. Steve cautioned us that although it "appeared good", the
final enlargement might still be some time away. There is no real way to
predict the exact time. He then asked me if I had thought anymore about
preparing to "set" the final size. I
told him that I didn't understand the question. He reminded me that it was
very important to complete the procedure otherwise all the effort could be
lost. I must have looked puzzled. Steve took a deep breath and said
"remember, the best and easiest way to achieve the proper pressure is to fuck
an accommodating pussy." I did vaguely recall him mentioning that. I asked
what the problem was, Tracy has been waiting for this moment for 4 weeks.
Steve shook his head and repeated "Accommodating! Do you think Tracy will
be able to handle all 14 " of yours when she has been used to your original 4
"?" I stuttered "I, I, I don't know. I guess we'll just have to try."
Steve asked if I was willing to risk all that hard work. Would Tracy be
willing to put up with another month or more of no sex? Steve was right, I had
to make sure this worked. I asked what we could do. Steve thought a few
seconds and said "I think you have several options. You could find a hooker or
someone else able to accommodate your large size. Of course they would have to
be close by whenever you invigorate. I'm not sure how Tracy would like that.
A second option is to use something , like a dildo, to expand Tracy prior to
the big day. I'm sure it would take several sessions and there is the danger
of latex poisoning. A third option is to find some sort of device to simulate
the correct pressure, and hope it's right the first time. Finally, you could
find someone with a penis large enough to open Tracy up to within a reasonable
proximity of your 14 inches. " Well, I knew a hooker was out of the question,
Tracy would never stand for it. Certainly, a device was too risky. That left
the dildo or, unfortunately, a surrogate penis. I was against the last option
and was sure it would not be acceptable to Tracy. Thankfully, Steve noticed my
discomfort with the idea and put some of my fears to rest. He informed me the
expansion process using a surrogate was really a "clinical" kind of procedure.
It wasn't as if someone would be making love to my wife. It was more like a
therapist giving a massage. I still wasn'tconvinced.
Tracy and I discussed our options later that night. Steve had painted a pretty
scary picture of what can happen with latex poisonier heard of the problem, but Tracy is very nervous about potential pussy
related illnesses. A simple yeast infectioncommercial gets her upset. Steve
and I had many a laugh over that on his last visit. At that point it seemed as
if all our acceptable options had eliminated themselves. I asked Tracy if she
thought we should call the whole thing off . Was a large cock worth the price
that she would have to pay? Tracy thought about it for a moment, gave me a
little hug, and told me that she was willing to make any sacrifice for my sake.
Besides, she didn't want to think that we had wasted all that effort and it
really would be more like a trip to the doctors office. O.K., Maybe more like
a house call. It was decided. As distasteful as it seemed, we would need
someone to prepare Tracy to accommodate my cock. We were out of other options
as we saw them, we both knew we would have to see it through to the end.
It was Tracy who first suggested Steve for the task of preparing her. She
again accidentally walked in on him while he was naked, this time in his room.
This time he had been masturbating as she walked in. He had asked her earlier
to stop by to help him sew on a button. As she walked in, he saw her and gave
his cock another couple of quick strokes and exploded in orgasm sending cum
high into the air. She gasped and felt weak but managed to quickly exit from
the room. Later that night as I was finishing my invigoration she relayed the
story while wildly rubbing her cunt. As I was cleaning up she told me how
sorry she felt for him. He didn't appear to have a girlfriend and was left to
seek his own release. She then lit upon an idea. Steve was such a good
friend, and obviously knowledgeable, wouldn't it be nice to let him do the
honors with her. He was the size we were looking for and certainly knew what
was required. I was apprehensive about having Steve be with my wife but she
seemed to settle on him as the one. She asked me if I would approach him about
it. I reluctantly agreed. After all, Steve had been a great help through all
of this and any penis envy that I had would soon be over. When I asked him,
Steve seemed surprised and expressed some concern about my reaction to someone
ministering to my wife. I said I thought I could handle it as long as I was
there to comfort my Tracy. He disagreed. He said that it was his experience
that its not a good idea to have the husband around during this kind of
activity. He couldn't do it if I was there. His concentration would not be on
the job at hand. Doctors don't allow family members into the operating room.
I told him that I admired his clinical attitude and that I guess I could stay
out of the
way. Based on my concession, he agreed to do it. He then added that they
should start soon because my expansion could occur any day.
That evening Steve entered our bedroom about 8:00 to start the treatment on
Tracy. I watched television in the living room. Occasionally, I would hear a
yell or a knock from the bedroom. I used the device twice waiting for them to
finish. Eventually I fell asleep on the couch. When I woke up the next
morning, Tracy was in the shower and Steve was nowhere to be found. When Tracy
was dressed I asked her how the night went. She smiled and said it was all
right. I prodded her for more but she was reluctant to talk about it. I
figured that she didn't enjoy it all that much, plus the situation waskind of
awkward. I was actually kind of surprised when Steve and Tracy retreated to
the bedroom later that evening. Tracy was determined to see this thing
through. The pattern repeated itself for the remainder of the week. Tracy
still didn't want to talk much about it and Steve was only home long enough to
slip into bed with her. I did notice that Tracy had
settled down to her old self back when we used to fuck every day. However the
treatment was going, it seemed to be helping her. Friday was the day Steve
left for home. He got up early in the morning, showered, and stopped by the
couch on his way out. He shook me awake and thanked me for allowded. He cautioned against using the device for longer than another couple
of months, something should have happened by then. He said he would be back
every couple of weeks and would make sure he kept Tracy ready for me until
then. I got up and opened the door for him and thanked him for all his help.
After he left, I slowly walked down the hall into my bedroom. Tracy was
sleeping lightly. She was wearing a skimpy little teddy with no panties on. I
had never seen that outfit before. She looked great in it. The light from
the window shown across her legs and stomach. Her legs were spread open and I
peered down at her pussy. Her cunt was gaping wide open and cum was all over
her face, tits, stomach, pussy and legs. Her hairless cunt lips were engorged
and glowing red.
Her nipples thrust out like pencil top erasers. Even her clit was standing at
attention. The enormity of her once tight cunt amazed me. My entire penis
could fit inside the opening without touching the sides. Some time during the
week she had shaved off most of her pussy hair, leaving only a small triangle.
It was matted and soaked with cum. .
Steve returned two more times after that and stayed for a week each time. Each
week was similar to the first week; me on the couch and him working with my
wife in our bed. He continued to splatter cum all over her. I was allowed to
stop in every morning after he left to check on Tracy. Here cunt was always
huge and covered with cum. I even suspected that she was giving him oral sex.
I would notice drops of cum on her chin and cheeks. She never did that to me.
Finally, one morning Steve said he would be leaving and probably wouldn't
return. He said that he had stretched out Tracy as far as possible and that
his mission was accomplished. She was ready and no longer needed him. I
thanked him for all his helpwhen he informed me that if my cock wasn't larger
in another couple of weeks, it probably never would be. On rare occasions it's
not effective. He told me I could hang on to the expansion device no matter
what happened. I told him I would keep using it for a while and would darn
well pay for it too. After all, I was the one it was helping. I was kind of
surprised at the price he said he paid, but figured it would be worth it in the
long run. I handed him a check for $475 and thanked him again for all his
help. He truly was a good friend. With that he walked out the door and I
never saw him again.
A couple of weeks passed and I remained 4 " long. In that time Tracy seemed
to lose interest in her once nightly rubbing sessions and did not appear at all
concerned with her lack of sex. Whatever Steve had done, it was having
positive effects. I found it curious that Tracy had taken a liking to her
carefully trimmed pussy and spent considerable time grooming it. Finally after
another 2 weeks, I decided to quit using the device and get back to my old
life. I was disappointed that I wasn't successful, but at least Steve, Tracy
and I gave it our best shot. I convinced Tracy to try sex with me the next
evening. Try is the appropriate word because we both could not feel a thing.
I couldn't even cum, there was no friction at all. It was like humping air.
We tried a couple of more times but to no avail. I felt inadequate. I
couldn't please my own wife. Several weeks later I returned home from work to
find her in bed with a stranger. When I walked in, he turned to me and pulled
his cock out of Tracy's cunt and showed it to me saying "fourteen inches!".
Tracy just guided his cock back in and moaned.
Look, my mom has trouble with Excel. You think she'd be able to run Linux? You think she'd be able to build a kernel module? Even install an RPM package?
C'mon, give me a break.
HELLO?!?!?! Linux is **not** the end all, be all operating system! It is FAR from it! Stop thinking it! Mom won't use Linux because Linux is **not** user friendly. Linux is not a desktop operating system. Linux is an EDUCATIONAL and EXPERIMENTAL operating system used by people with a bigger understanding of how computers work and want to expand their knowledge even more. Most people don't want to get "in deep" into the system, they just want to use their word, excel, solitaire. They could care less that the vm of Linux is more computationally inexpensive than that in Windows.
After all, what do moms like to do more than decorate, re-decorate, un-decorate, and re-decorate again their houses? Then there's the endless re-organizing, bed-making, cloth-folding, cloth-ironing, vacuuming, etc etc etc.
It makes perfect sense that moms would like Linux. After, what other OS can they re-decorate the GUI as much in? What other OS could they order and re-order things in so much?
social sciences can never use experience to verify their statemen
Just wait until moms get into advanced operations in Linux, such as installing a program. How many "What does it mean 'error- can't find gcc' or "Why does it say I don't have permission to access this file" calls would you get if moms ran Linux? I'm halfway computer savvy, and I can't get Linux to do everything I know it's capable of.
Men: This guide is for WOMEN ONLY; you can stop right here
and get your rocks off on something else.
Women: Have you ever wished you could have-
The hottest oral and vaginal sex (up to 6 orgasms for me in
one session!)?
Simple pure physical satisfaction with no strings
attached?
Sex without AIDS or pregnancy fears?
Private sex that no one will ever find out about?
If you answered yes to any of these, then you should consider
having sex with a dog. Wait, don't laugh! I am VERY serious.
My name is Jamie, and I am not ashamed to say that I enjoy having
sex with dogs (and I've been doing it since I was 14!), I am
totally "normal" in almost all respects: I'm 28 and live in Los
Angeles. I have a boyfriend who is pretty good in bed and I have
a great job as a graphic artist. But I've found that dogs can
actually be better and more satisfying lovers than either men or
women!
I know that sounds weird, and a lot of you will be shocked by
this, but thousands of women and girls worldwide agree with me,
and, by all indications, more women are discovering this secret
every day. Women have been having sex with animals for centuries,
and I wholeheartedly recommend it to any woman who wants to
experience what is possibly the most intense and electrifying
sexual experience there is.
If you have a dog, chances are he is practically your best friend
already. He is more loyal than any man, and loves you completely,
unlike many men. He doesn't talk back or argue, and he's always
there for you. Why not take it a step further and let him become
your sexual lover? Male dogs are naturally horny practically all
the time, so helping him relieve some sexual frustration can just
be a demonstration of your love for him, and a lot of fun for
you! Unlike men, dogs are almost always ready to have sex when
you want to, they won't tell all their friends about your
experience together (and who cares if they do?), they can't
expose you to AIDS or other sexual diseases, and, perhaps best of
all, they can't get you pregnant!
Now, I'm not some weirdo who advocates sleeping only with dogs
and not with men. Far from it: I have a good relationship with my
boyfriend and we are sexually active. (I've also had one serious
relationship with a woman.) However, I seem to be hornier than he
is, particularly at certain times of the month. There are times
when my guy isn't around, or doesn't feel like it, or I don't
want the emotional complications involved with human sex. I can
then turn to my doggie to get off, and its great.
I'm sure many of you are disgusted by this whole thing, and
that's okay. Just quit reading now and go on with your boring
"normal" sex life. But if you want to learn more, keep reading.
I first had sexual contact with a dog when I was 14, and it
continued off and on until I went to college. But I always felt
ashamed or weird or guilty, and that kind of ruined the
experience. After I graduated and had my own place, I also got a
dog. One night, I came home drunk and ended up messing around
with Max again. Afterwards, I thought about it, and I decided
that I didn't have to feel guilty about pleasing myself and my
dog. I decided that if God didn't want us to do it, he wouldn't
have made dogs so interested in sniffing and licking human
females. It's my body, and my puppy, and I can do what I want as
long as it doesn't hurt either one of us!
Okay, enough about me, let's discuss how YOU can enjoy dog sex.
There are three areas that I will cover in this guide: Oral sex,
Vaginal sex and Anal sex. My thanks to the original writer of this
guide (it wasn't me, but I edited it and I agree with almost
everything she wrote).
ORAL SEX
Oral sex is the way many women first get exposed to dog love.
Dogs are naturally attracted to the scent of a woman's vagina, so
many of you have already discovered that Rover likes to sniff
your panties or even your crotch. Allowing him to take it a step
further is an excellent way to experience some of the greatest
oral sex you will ever have in your life! One of the nicest
things about allowing a dog to lick your snatch is that most male
dogs will spend much more time than a human male providing you
with the most electrifying oral sex. A dogs tongue is also much
longer and is able to get to many places that a man can't or
won't. A dogs tongue is covered with thousands of tiny buds that
when he licks your clitoris you will feel sensations that you did
not know existed. And, how many of you have had a man give you
analingus? Not many i'll bet. Well, I'm hear to tell you that
having your ass licked is a great thing, and a dog has no problem
doing it for you!. If you have never experienced a tongue working
from the very top of your slit all the way around to the end of
your crack you have truly missed something grand.
There are several very good positions for you to try if you want
to try this. If you decide that your preference is
clitoral/vaginal only I have found one position that works very
well. I recommend that you sit on the edge of a bed so that the
back of your calfs are flat against the edge of the bed. You then
lay straight back picking your feet up and placing the on the
edge of the bed. This will expose your clitoris, labia and vagina
to his waiting tongue. For those of you who would like more but
want to prevent him from trying to mount you then the ideal
position is reclining on your side, on pillows or cushions, on
the floor. All you have to do at that point is to raise your leg
a little and he will have access to all of your pussy and ass.
For those of you that want that ultimate experience you will have
to give give him full and total access to you. This can only
happen when you are down on all fours. Now I know that staying in
that position for more than a few minutes is not comfortable at
all but there is one way that I have found that will be both very
comfortable and very enjoying. You kneel at the edge of your bed
and then lie the upper part of you body face down onto the bed,
keeping your knees on the floor. You then spread your knees apart
as much as you dare giving him full access to you. One very
important item to remember while you are considering what
position you would like to use is that if you do not wish to have
him mount you this is not the position to use.
Now that we gone over all the wonderful things that a dog can do
for you with his tongue, lets talk about what you can do with
yours. According to several doctors and veterinarians I have
spoken with, a dogs cock is three times cleaner that a mans cock.
A dog will spend considerable time every day cleaning it, how
many men do you know that do that? So, why not try it? I find
that when I am sucking off a dog, I have a tremendous amount of
mental stimulation that gets me horny as hell! Just knowing that
I am sucking on an animals dick will get me so horny, that it
doesn't take much to get me off. I will usually use a free hand
to masturbate while I am sucking him, and I have some of the
greatest orgasms this way.
Most male dogs will gladly allow you to suck them and there are
many positions to do it in. I find that two positions are very
good and are easy to accomplish. For those of you that are just
starting out and are nervous about doing it I recommend that you
have him lie on his back with you next to him. This will give you
full access to his cock and be able to control all the action.
But, another great method I use is to lie on my back with the
back of my head slightly raised by a pillow and have him stand
over me with his cock within reach of my mouth. Then he humps me
and does all the work, leaving my hands free to masturbate myself
with. One important thing to remember when sucking a dog: While
most men like to have their balls rubbed or fondled while having
their cocks sucked, this is not so with all dogs. Before starting
any sexual activity with him touch and feel his cock and balls to
insure that he does like it. The next thing that we are going to
do now that we have gotten into the position that we prefer is
begin to get him aroused. I find that the best way is to first
gently stroke his cock through his sheath until it begins to
enlarge and slip out. Once you have at least an inch of him out
of his sheath you should gently take him into your mouth. You
should continue to gently stoke him with your hand while you
begin to slowly move you mouth back and forth over his cock. As
you do this his cock will continue to enlarge until he reaches
full erection.
While you are moving your mouth over his cock you should try to
place the tip of you tongue into the indentation on the head of
his cock as this will cause his to reach his climax. As he gets
closer to his climax you will notice that at the base of his cock
there is a very large bulge known as his knot. This knot is used
to hold his cock inside a female (dog or human) until he has
finished ejaculating. If you are considering going further then
you should make a mental note of the size of his cock and knot.
The average large dog has a cock, when aroused, that is 5 to 7
inches long and 1 and half to 2 inches wide. The knot for a dog
whose cock is 6 inches long and 1 and a half wide can be two
inches long and 4 inches wide. A dog is different than most
mammals as from the time they begin to become aroused until they
begin to get soft they will have some form of ejaculate coming
from their cocks. At first arousal there is a clear thin fluid
that tastes like iron and has the consistency of water, this is
his precum that is for lubrication so his knot will slip into the
females vagina. At full arousal is when he actually will produce
his sperm and you can tell when this happens as his cum will
begin to have a slightly salty taste to it. You should be aware
that his cum will never be as thick as a mans but he will produce
about twice as much as a man. I personally think that dog cum
tastes much better than man cum.
VAGINAL SEX.
Good old screwing thats what this is all about, well not quite.
There are a number of things that differ from sex with a man
other than the dog can't get you pregnant.
At this point I will assume that you have made the decision that
you are going to have sexual intercourse with a large dog (75
pounds) and that you are there by yourself. I will be your
companion and you may visualize me there. The first discussion is
how are we going to do it. There are two prime positions to use,
the old standard doggy style and the safer missionary style. If
we choose the missionary position you can prevent him from
getting his knot inside you and we can be in control the whole
time. Ok you want to try the missionary position, you are siting
on the edge of a chair, a towel under you to prevent his and your
cum from staining the chair, your ass at the very edge legs
spread wide apart. Here comes your lover he sees your warm and
wet pussy and at once begins to sniff and lick it. You call him
up to you so that he has his front paws on the chair his body
between your legs. (I like to put some socks over his front paws
so that he can't scratch me accidentally.)
Then you take his sheath in hand and begin to stroke it gently
and as he begins to swell and extend you guide the end of his
cock into you. As he feels the wetness and warmth of you he
begins to hump, slowly at first then faster and faster until you
feel his knot at the mouth of your vagina. As his cum slowly
fills you up you too reach climax. If you allow him to put his
knot inside you YOU WILL be together until he gets soft which
usually take 15 to 20 minutes but can take up to 45 minutes. The
major benefit of the missionary position is that if you do not
want to have his knot inside you you can, in almost all cases,
prevent it by holding it in your hand. I find that the most
satisfying and arousing sensations I feel are caused by the knot
being inside me. I try to have my dog put his knot in every time
we make love, but whether or not you want to is up to you.
Doggy style is just that, you are down on all fours with him.
This position will allow you to fully experience the pleasure of
having a canine lover. He will at first sniff then lick you and
after the tastes and smells begin to arouse him he will move to a
position to mount you. A dog will usually come up directly behind
you and mount you that way. Once he has mounted you he will begin
to hump trying to get his cock into you, if this is something new
to him then you should guide his cock to where it should go, he
will do the rest. As the two of you continue he will move faster
and faster with his strokes until you feel his knot begin to
swell and rub at the lips. At this point we have decision time,
If you want it inside you you should totally relax and allow him
to slide it in. If you don't want it in you you should reach back
with your hand and try to hold the knot with your hand. A simple
note of warning, if you use this position and then decide that
you don't want his knot in you you may not be able to prevent it
from happening. If his knot is in you you WILL have to wait until
he gets soft. I do not recommend you trying to remove it as
unless your vagina is very large, it will hurt and may even
injure you. So if you have any doubt's at all I would stick with
the missionary position.
Well we are now mated and as his knot continues to swell inside
you you begin to feel this warm feeling inside you. I have been
told that a dogs body temperature is higher than a humans and
that his cum is even warmer, and as he cum's deep inside you you
can feel that warmth. His knot is now fully expanded, his cum is
flowing into you, your juices begin to flow mixing with his and
at this point you begin to feel his knot begin to throb. I found
that while doing it doggy style as his knot pushs against the
inside walls of my vagina it also pushes against the inside of my
clitoris and that the sensations of that happening drive me wild.
I have reached orgasm up to seven times in a row while this is
happening.
ANAL SEX
There are some things that you should consider before you attempt
allowing your lover to mount you for the purpose of anal sex. You
should be experienced with anal sex, by this I mean you should
have no difficulty taking your human lovers cock into you. You
will not always be successful with achieving penetration and if
you do you may wind up with his knot inside you. If you now still
want to try it well lets go. In finding a good position for male
canine/human female anal sex I have tried dozens of positions and
found many that work and many that didn't.
I have found that the best position is one called a modified
doggy position. To get into that position you should first find a
open space, very private of course, inside your house or wherever
and place a soft pad on the floor for you to kneel on. You then
kneel on the pad and get into a normal doggy position. To achieve
the correct position you now bring your knees forward and tuck
them up into your stomach. Now that you have done that you rest
the front of your body on your elbows. Great you have mastered
getting into the proper position, now there are some other things
you have to do before you call to your lover. We have this little
problem with lubrication that has to be solved with something
otherwise this will really hurt. I have found that natural oils
such as olive or corn oils work best and will not hurt your
lover. NEVER NEVER use vaseline or that like as they will make
the dog sick or even worse.
Well now we know what lubrication we are going to use we must now
apply it. It is not enough to just smear a little oil on the
outside of your anus for this to work, you must lubricate both
outside as well as inside. The easy part is the outside and I
leave that until I am in position to do. To lubricate the inside
I have found that if I lubricate as much of the inside of my anus
as possible I have no discomfort at all. I use a large
eyedropper, that will hold about an once or so of oil, to get the
oil inside and when I have done that insert one finger to spread
the oil over the muscle.
Congratulations you are now ready, you have done your inside
lubrication and are in the proper position and here comes your
lover. You should now take your oil and rub some on your anus and
the area around it. After he has mounted you you will probably
have to guide him into you. Once he is inside he will hump just
like an vaginal sex. The same precautions concerning his knot
should be used here as well. I do not recommend those just
starting out to try having him insert his knot. As there is not
as much stimulation with anal sex you may want to gently
masturbate while he is in you. There is one way to increase the
stimulation and that is place a dildo into your vagina. This will
transmit his movement inside you to you clitoris and help you
reach climax.
Just a few footnotes about the fun of canine human sex. You can
do all of these things while a human lover, male or female is
present and in some cases the experience is more enjoyable. I
would have liked to have had illustrations for this but I have
not found someone to pose for them and I am more than a little
nervous about having my picture here. Ladies any volunteers?
Girls: if you need to reach me and ask questions, feel free to
email me at yyyy@earthlink.net. Boys: Do NOT email. I will not
answer you, and I will give you a little test to prove whether
you are female when you write!
GOOD LUCK
Jamie the DogGirl
Because there is no greeting card software for linux.
I didn't say I understood it, but its true, what geek cares about greeting card makers? Moms seem to love it though.
--Nuintari
slashdot : where an opinion can be wrong.
Carolina Porfirio was 19 and part English with an Italian father, hence the
name. She worked as an office girl for a company in the same building where
I rented an office suite for my business in Nice, down the corridor on the
same floor. All that follows happened shortly after I split up with Ginny
Harris and was preparing to leave the Riviera to go to Spain. I was, by this
time, a full member of the Riviera Rape Club and wanted to provide the club
with a bitch we could abuse, torture and sex kill.
I chose Carolina because the young 5'4" cunt was gorgeous (in fact, she was
stunning, a real head turner) and close enough to keep under observation for
a while but far enough not to be connected with me. There was little chance
her disappearance would be linked to me. I kept a watch on her for a couple
of weeks and learned her name, age, that she commuted by train from across
the border in Ventimiglia, Italy (only a 30 minute train ride), had no
boyfriend, and jogged every evening. The jogging would explain the
sexwhore's lovely athletic look. The jogging looked like the best
opportunity to abduct my chosen sexbaby and that's how we got her.
As soon as we had the sexy bottom babe in a safe place (by this I always
mean safe for the abuser, not the victim), we crowded around (there were 8
of us) to fondle Carolina's body still with her clothes on. I think this is
very humiliating for a sex object to be fondled fully dressed. It is like
being raped but with the added fear of knowing it is yet to happen. Then we
ordered her to do a striptease for us. She tried to back away from us,
shaking her pretty head and crying, looking down at the floor and saying
"Nooooo" and "Pleeeeease!" over and over. It took a punch deep in her belly
and a hard brutal kick from behind right in her teenage cunt, which sent her
sprawling and retching on the floor, to change her mind.
It's interesting that even a tracksuit can look gorgeously sexual on an
attractive love object, male or female. Carolina was wearing a powder blue
track with a pale pink stripe over the left shoulder and down the body,
repeated in the trouser part to the ankle. On her small pretty teenage feet
she wore white and bright pink reeboks and dayglow pink cotton anklesocks.
After fondling the 19 year old whoregirl with her clothes on, we made the
babybumsex bitchgirl do a striptease and dirty dance for us. I lied to the
pretty bumbaby, saying that we'd also kidnapped her kid sister (an 11 year
old ugly duckling, quite unlike her delicious big sister) and would kill it
if she didn't perform for us and obey all our commands completely and
immediately, no matter how disgusting and evil she thought them. I told her
to leave the reeboks and the cute little sexy sox on. In fact, the fat
bottom girl Carolina wore them throughout her terrible ordeal, and died with
them on.
Following the dirty dancing, throughout which Carolina cried her lovely blue
eyes out, we made her stand with her hands on her pretty head so we could
all feel and fondle her nude body all over. Then I made the fucking
babysex kneel down so that we could take turns in front of her pretty face.
Each man was allowed to present the teenage whore with either his penis or
his bum, but not both. Most gave her their cocks to lick and kiss, but I
was one of only two presenting her with our big bums, making the lush
childwoman lick up and down our dirty cracks and kissing our bottom holes.
It's hard to describe the feeling of it to someone who hasn't experienced
the wonderful sensation of killing a very sexy looking girl (or boy). I'm
not in the least sorry about doing it. She deserved to be murdered for
being so lovely and sexual, for being a very pretty young female and for
having a gorgeous body. I am sorry only that I've not done it more than
once. There are so many I would love to have killed, girls and boys, women
and children. Among these are my ex-wife Elaine, a number of
ex-girlfriends from my earlier years including Doris, Maggie, Patti and
Mary, and, more recently, Laura Green and her children, Lindy Sutton and
hers and, of course, Ginny Harris, her sisters and her lovely little boys.
Anyway, back to Carolina Porfirio. We kept Carolina alive in captivity
for 15 days. After the stripping and rude dancing scene on the first day,
the only clothes the sexy cunt was allowed to wear until she died were her
little white and pink reeboks and her bright pink ankle socks. I think it
is important to strip condemned beauties of all their dignity. They have no
rights, anyway. His or her life is entirely in your hands and you learn
very quickly to play the dirty cunt's emotions like a musical instrument.
It's half the pleasure of working your way up to murdering them.
We used Carolina for sex and humiliation games for about 5 days during which
we raped her many times in all her holes, often brutally gangraping her.
As well as her gorgeous tight teenage vagina, we used her fat young bottom
and her pretty mouth, her nose and her ears. I was thrilled to discover the
fucking little bitch was a virgin throughout her body and I was the first,
and among the last, to use her luscious fuck holes. On one occasion, the
child woman had a man in her cunt, another in her bottom, two men
alternately fucking her mouth, one trying to push the knob of his penis in
her nostril, another spurting his cum in her right ear, and a cock in each
hand to be wanked. She often had her titties fucked and the resultant
spunk sprayed on her face as a punishment for having such lovely young
teenage breasts with nipples. She was fucked in her armpits whilst being
made to look at the horrible prick poking out from between her arm and her
lush young body, and hold her cute face as close as possible in order to
receive the shower of gooey white sperm on her tongue. The teen goddess
was fucked between her closed athletic legs and along her deep bottybobo
poopoo crack. We even managed to squirt spunk into her teeniegirly urethra
via a fine hypodermic needle.
Another fucking I gave her several times is one I particularly like for its
deep humiliation factor. I've done this to many of my victims, male and
female. It is essentially a matter of fucking her or his face in a literal
sense. You need to make the sex toy lay down or sit with her/his head back
against a wall or seatback so that you can create friction on both sides of
your penis as you press your belly against the victim's face. You lay your
cock against her cheek with your balls near her mouth so she can lick them
and your knob right next to her eyes above the bridge of her nose and then
you jerk your whole body up and down in short fast strokes until you cum on
her eyes (or in her hair, if you've got a long cock). A nice variation is
to make her lay on a table and stand behind her head so that you can lean
across her and lay your penis in the opposite direction with your knob above
her lips, allowing you to squirt your filth in her mouth or all over that
part of her face.
Days 5 to 9 were largely filled with canings, whippings, beatings and
kickings combined with painful and humiliating bondage and suspension. On
day 9 we began to torture Carolina. I won't tire you with what would be a
long list of all the nice, loving and very painful and humiliating things
we did to her gorgeous body but would like to tell you about the needles in
her fat spunkbags (200 in each chest baby), in her vulva, inner and outer
cunt lips, vagina and inner thighs (over 500 used in this area including
many inside her cunthole and two long ones forced through her cervix into
her filthy babybag), in her big soft, full bottom cheeks (200 in each) and
around her tiny bumhole (50), in her shoulders and upper arms (100 in
total), in her calves (50 in each), in her belly (300 including 50 long ones
directly inserted through her bellybutton) and 100 in her beautiful teenage
face (through her eyelids, nostrils, tongue, lips, earlobes and cheeks).
Although I like pretty well every torture ever invented, I think I love
needles the most especially when they're used in huge quantities as on
Carolina. Her screams and whimpering were so sexy to hear and her
uncontrollable shaking with fear beautiful to see. Especially nice was
when she began to hyperventilate from the combined effects of fear and pain.
Although Carolina thought that we wouldn't kill her because she was
performing to our requirements, the tortures on days 10 to 14 quickly became
more and more extreme. We were careful with our games because we didn't
want her to die from any of the stresses on her lovely body until the day we
planned to murder her, day 15. One of the most amusing of the extreme
tortures was the steaming of her uterus. I forced one of those women's
steam curling tongs deep into Carolina's slimy cunthole and pushed the top
four inches of it through her (by now badly damaged) cervix into her filthy
uterus, then turned it on full. As soon as it was at its top temperature
(she was already screaming from the searing of her cunt flesh), I pressed
down on the steam control and held it down for a full five minutes until all
the water was used up pouring into her vagina and uterus as boiling hot
steam. Delicious screaming and, amusingly, she involuntarily pood herself.
I enjoyed feeding it to her on a spoon.
On the 14th night, I had Carolina kneel before her masters and told her that
we would decide this night whether or not we would kill her the next day. I
told her that she may plead for her life and, if she did it well, we might
consider letting her live. That was a wonderfully erotic evening listening
to the child woman crying and screaming, begging and pleading for her life.
She promised so many idiotic things, many of which we'd already done to
her magnificent body. At the end of it, we all fucked her one last time,
each of us choosing one hole (I buggered her laying on top so I could look
into her eyes as I told her the methods we were going to choose from for her
execution - this prompted yet more begging which helped me to explode in her
pretty bottom one last time).
On the morning of day 15, the last day of lovely Carolina Porfirio's short
life, I went with my colleagues to its cage and, after unchaining it, made
the whore stand with legs wide apart and hands under its breasts holding
them up and out for us to see. A mirror was placed behind her so we could
see her lovely bottom. Then I told the curvy, pretty teenage girl that I
had decided she would be murdered later that day. She immediately began
screaming and wailing, sank to her knees and crawled forward to kiss my feet
and up my legs to my penis in an endearing bid for mercy. She pood herself
again and lost control of her bladder. Before any pleas for mercy were to
be considered, the lovely child woman was ordered to lick up her disgraceful
mess on the chamber floor.
That morning, while we 'considered' her plea for mercy, she agreed to a
torture hysterectomy. One of my colleagues was a retired doctor who'd
specialised in gynaecology and he led the fun operation. Everyone got a
turn to do some cutting inside Carolina's young body, but the doctor had
control in order to keep the cunt alive for her execution later in the day.
He did so well, I gave him a very expensive bottle of rare wine as a thank
you gift. Especially, as he saved just for me the final exquisite moment
of the poor girl's mutilation, the removal of her uterus and ovaries from
inside her nubile young body, her hopes of having children in a bloody
tangle of bits and pieces of mangled flesh which I pulled from between her
legs and trailed up her body to dangle over her beautiful, sobbing pale
face. As the blood dripped onto her lips and her most intimate sex meat
dangled over the bridge of her nose and in her beautiful blue eyes, Doc went
to work inside cauterizing the wounds to prevent the bitch from bleeding to
death or going into shock. God, that was such a loving and sexual moment,
almost as good as taking the young whore's life itself.
At this time, Carolina thought she had just paid the price for keeping her
useless fucking stupid life. With the bleeding stopped plus some emergency
surgery on what had been her cervix, and pumped full of suppressant drugs,
Carolina was allowed to rest for an hour. Meanwhile, her uterus, ovaries,
vascular tissue from the cervical area, and chunks of flesh from the lining
of her vagina were gently braised on a griddle. When it was cooked enough
to make it tender, we fed Carolina her own internal sex organ piece by
piece. The pretty whore (now only half a woman) was pumped full of
adrenaline and other stimulant drugs. I told her that she could be shown
no mercy, since she was a female sex toy, and a very pretty one at that, and
we would kill her in precisely one hour.
The fucking pretty teenage whore didn't scream and wail at this news.
Instead, she lost all colour and swooned, almost losing consciousness.
Only the drugs in her system prevented the lovetoy from fainting. She
looked as though she knew this was coming but, even so, couldn't believe it
was happening to her, like it was a nightmare from which she would wake up
at any moment. I ordered the cute bitch to walk to the execution chamber.
This was, in fact, just another room in the basement chambers in which we
had set up a wooden platform with a rope noose hanging above it from an
overhead beam. She gasped and cried when I gave her this command but
meekly obeyed. She was made to wiggle her bottom as she walked and to hold
her fat young breasts in her hands. As she entered the chamber, the first
thing she saw was the rope noose which shocked her so much she cried out
again and fell, sobbing uncontrollably, to her knees.
The noose was actually merely for effect. Much as I like hanging, I had
another more interesting, cruel and humiliating death in mind for Carolina.
A swift, hard kick to the filthy slut's kidneys sent her sprawling on the
chamber floor, retching. She was dragged along the floor by her pretty
blonde hair to a wooden frame against the wall and facing the noose.
Carolina was bound to the frame by her wrists and ankles and all we all
gathered round to watch her darling angelic teenage face as I read the
charges to her.
I remember the words as if I'd spoken them yesterday. "Carolina Porfirio,
you are guilty of being 19 years old, being a sexually attractive whore,
having a gorgeously pretty face and a beautiful, lithe body, of having large
breasts, a tight, slimy cunt, a big, pert bottom, and gorgeous long legs.
You are also guilty of having no uterus inside your body. Moreover, you
are guilty of being a filthy little teenage whore, a beautiful female sex
toy slut. Worst of all, you have, for the last 14 days, been showing your
gorgeous big filthy body to men. You are a dirty little girl, a fat young
tart. And for these reasons, I condemn you to die. You will give your
life for our pleasure, Carolina. You will be killed in thirty minutes,
lovegirl. You now have the opportunity to save your sister's life,
Carolina, although not your own, by agreeing to eat the meat out of your fat
teeny tittiebags."
Pleading with us not to kill her kid sister, the teen bitch agreed to eat
her own titmeat, although she hadn't a clue what this meant. She didn't
have to wait long to find out. Her breasts were cut open with the slice of
a razor sharp scalpel in a straight line from her chest to the nipple of
each bobo and both tits were opened like the petals of a flower. The
female was so full of stimulants that the shock of having her tits cut open
would be unlikely to kill her or even make her faint for quite a while.
Using a spoon with a crafted razor sharp edge, I dug into each spunkbag in
turn digging out titmeat and fatty tissue and fed it to her. The sharp edge
of the spoon cut the inside of her mouth as she sucked the bloody mess off
the spoon and swallowed it. Feeding Carolina her own breasts took about 10
minutes. We stuffed them with those soft, spongy things plastic surgeons
use for enlarging bitches' tits. This seemed kind of funny, and we all had
a giggle at it. Doc sewed up the tits as best he could, and then we led
Carolina to the noose.
She was shaking with terror and began to plead one last time not to be
killed. We stood her on the platform, tied her hands behind her back and
put the noose around her neck. She was screaming and struggling and trying
to kick us. That was nice to watch. Her ankles were then tied by cords
to metal rings on either side of the platform, stretching her pretty legs to
their painful maximum. At this point, the murder method was unveiled.
Carolina thought she was going to be hanged but I wanted her to suffer real
terror, pain and utter humiliation in her pretty death.
Mirrors were arranged behind and in front of her. Behind, so that we would
have a good view of her bottom during death. It's always good to watch a
sex toy's bottom during murder, to see the way it moves, especially its
wobble, and to see what comes out of the anus. Nice also to glance at the
legs from behind and the curve of the creature's back. In front, because we
wanted Carolina to be able to see exactly what was being done to her.
Carolina Porfirio was now in the last few minutes of her life as I opened a
small trap door in the platform immediately below the teenage whore's
genitals. Then, stepping to the side of the platform, I inserted a metal
handle into the ratchet at the top of a post which had just been inserted
into a socket in the floor. By turning the handle, I was winding an
orchestration of cogs and drives which produced a narrow steel shaft from
the trapdoor between her legs. The shaft was about an inch in diameter
brandishing a sharp point and tiny steel barbs each about a quarter of an
inch in length and pointing in all directions. I quickly wound the shaft
up to meet Carolina's wriggling cunthole then, leaving a colleague to drive
the shaft, I went round to her front to guide the vicious steel shaft into
Carolina's young body. The noose was tightened around her neck to make her
body movements as dangerous as the shaft which was about to enter her
vagina. Wearing a safety glove to protect my hand, I grabbed the shaft and
two others helped to steady Carolina's shaking, struggling body. With my
other hand, I opened her fat, sticky cunt lips. The rising shaft was now
easy to guide into Carolina's young body. An inch inside the screaming
teenager, the shaft had purchase on her cunt flesh and would now plough its
own path as the drive mechanism forced it further and further inside her,
through the remains of the place where her uterus had been, into her stomach
and through her diaphragm.
Without careful guidance and a good knowledge of anatomy, the shaft could
penetrate either lung or her heart or pass between them. Whilst, with Doc
on hand, we had adequate anatomical knowledge, and we could, with his help,
easily guide the shaft past her vital organs, my decision was that the shaft
should be allowed follow its own path. It, in fact, penetrated one of her
lungs, evidenced by the sudden spurt of pink and red foam from her mouth.
Blood was also pouring down her lovely legs and the shaft itself. It
finally came out of Carolina's long pretty neck just beneath her chin. I
was thrilled to see she was still alive, if barely. Rather than let her
drown in her own blood in her perforated lung, I asked for a bowie knife and
plunged it into her belly, slashing around in there to sever her organs. We
all came on Carolina's face as she died.
I was tempted to set up a linux box for my mom to use. All she does is surf the web and giving her a stable envrionment and giving her a restricted access would be nice. Then I realized that some of the sites she goes to uses ActiveX controls and she wouldn't be happy. Damn MS :) Damn them!
I started off with the Redmond theme & window decorations, so that they would at least feel a little comfortable. I removed the Console from the kicker, and put up a minimum icon set on the Desktop:
I taught them how to log in, and they were pretty much set from there. They had access to everything they needed on the desktop, and had no problem figuring it out. Since I configured everything for them, they didn't have to worry about the guts of the OS, and since they really only browse the web and check email, they don't need to install software or anything else. Eventually I moved their window decorations away from the Redmond theme, so that they wouldn't confuse it for Windows; I still think it was a good beginner decision though.
Basically it came down to me asking "Why DO they need Windows?" one night, when my one sister asked me if she should buy XP. First I shuddered at the thought of her using XP, then I realized she really doesn't NEED it! And when I told her that her own copy of SuSE 8.0 would only cost $40, she was thrilled. (Yes, I had her buy a copy, I wanted to support SuSE. Besides, they each liked the idea of having a manual just in case). Let's face it though, for a lot of people, Linux does exactly what they need it to do. We just need to make it even easier so that they can set it up for themselves. And we as a community are getting there.
In the mean time, give your Mom Linux, and save yourself and her a headache
I don't know if this is a good idea. I spend too much time explaining all the oddities involved.
I remember several years ago having to explain to people why there were messages about "leaving promiscuous mode" and other odd boot-up text.
Most of my family keep their distance from me. I will forget who I'm talking too and refer to things as "uber-cool" or when I mention that I spent all night hacking- and then have to explain what hacking means...
My family gave up on me years ago. Now they just nod or smile when I talk about computers...
So then we can all get calls like
"My computer find the swap partition" or "I can't access my Hotmail account" or "I can't read any Word Excel or PowerPoint document" or (the best one) "my computer just said the F-word!"
If she's running Windows {3.1, 95, 98, ME} then show her a DOS window or put her into dos by hitting F8 when it starts up.
Then show her Linux. Let her decide which is easier.
God save our Queen, and Heaven bless The Maple Leaf Forever!
Also, the hard drive in her computer was only 1.5 GB. A full install of RedHat or Mandrake (including all the Gnome and KDE libs) wouldn't fit. (Yes, I know you don't need a full install, but I really don't want to be putting in packages every time I go over!).
She's 79 and has difficulty from time to time, but it really helps that I can ssh in.
The living have better things to do than to continue hating the dead.
Where is the start button?
Why my screen turns blue?
What happen with the E icon?
The package said "Windows XP or better. Pentium Class Processor or better"... So I got a Mac with OS X
The author has lived with his parents for the past 30 years, and he obviously still doesn't have a clue at what his family means when they talk to him.
Mom speech: "My computer is broken."
Translation: "Now maybe he'll stop trying to get me to use it. Damn geek. I shouldn't have gotten so drunk at the corporate technical fair in 1970."
Dad speech: "My computer is broken."
Translation: "I tossed the fucking laptop across the room at your whore of a mother, and now it won't turn on. Bring me a beer while you're at it."
Grandmother speech: "My computer is broken."
Translation: "I was looking at some a bunch of those German porn sites, and now the browser's homepage is www.goatse.cx."
Girl friend speech(highly theoretical): "My computer is broken."
Translation: "Buy me a new one. Now. There are plenty of other guys who could use 300 pounds of fine woman flesh!"
My mom is constantly asking me for tech support for her windows box. She wants to do what all Mom's want to do.
Read e-mail.
Surf the web. (nytimes.com etc.)
Type documents.
For that I think that the best enviornment would be a kiosk-like Linux OS with Mozilla and OpenOffice / Crossover Office.
What distro's do your Mom's use? Are there any kiosk (ie chroot jailed) distro's or enviornments for linux?
un1xl0ser
Actually, his article makes sense. Linux does make sense for the user who can't do anything other than basic office tasks on their computer, as well as for the serious computer professional. The real hurdles to linux on the desktop are the modestly proficient users (such as myself). We can install and remove programs, update drivers, and do basic to advanced hardware ugrades. What we are *not* is programmers or IT guys/gals.
The biggest problem for linux among this group is the loss of power/control on switching over to linux. I tried Suse 8.0 w/ KDE 3.0 in the last half of June. While I could do basic office tasks, it was unnerving not knowing exactly what was going on with my OS -- yes I read the books, yes I'm smart, but I'm not a programmer/IT professional. Tried to install Mozilla and spent two hours feeling like a total tool. In the end, having to run to linuxnewbie.org or some other site anytime I wanted to do something other than word process or surf got to me. I backed-up the handful of documents I'd created, reformatted, and went back to 98se.
Not sure what the solution is. But that's my two cents on the problem.
Necrophilia for Dummies
I: Introduction
Very few text files have been written regarding the sexual tendencies and practices of necrophiliacs. While most people would prefer to believe that we do not exist we most certainly do as is obvious to anyone who visits a cemetery during our nightly rampages. Necrophiliacs prefer to go about their business alone sharing is not a part of this alternative lifestyle as the corpse usually wears out fairly quickly. This is not to say that the occasional orgy involving four or five necrophiliacs and about a dozen or so corpses does not occur, but it is very rare. In this file I will describe common (and some uncommon) techniques which necrophiliacs use to gain satisfaction from their stiff partners. Hopefully these vivid descriptions will encourage you to go out to your local cemetery and to join our ranks!
II: Finding a partner
Finding a partner for your necrophiliac activities is definitely the hardest part. You not only have to gain access to the corpse but you also have to find one which suits your tastes. Granted, some necrophiliacs would screw roadkill if given the chance but most of us are more discriminating. Your chances depend upon where you pick up your date. If you have access to a morgue it would definitely be your best bet as the corpses there are usually the freshest and have not yet been treated for burial. They may be a bit chilly because they've been lying in the meat locker for days but that really shouldn't make a big difference to the determined necrophiliac. Cemeteries are a bit harder to deal with as finding a screwable corpse is harder to do. However, if you know how to interpret signs this shouldn't be a problem. If a grave consists of a mound of fresh dirt and is covered with flowers, chances are that the stiff hasn't been laying here for too long. Rotting flowers on the mound usually hint to the state of the corpse as well. Some people are exclusively into 'porking the bone', i.e. sex with skeletons. In this case you can dig up almost any grave and hope that the inhabitant hasn't yet disintegrated into dust. Try to scope out a fairly secluded cemetery for your passions unless you like a sense of danger to go along with the sex. Having anyone catch you in the act is NOT fun, and if you're picked up by a cop chances are that you won't be able to screw anything but Bubba behind bars for the next few decades. People are generally not understanding of the necrophiliac lifestyle, so it will probably be a long time before we can come out of the closet.
III: Preparation
Depending upon where you are at this point you'll have either a little or a lot of work to do. The person in the morgue will obviously have to do little more than to open the locker, pull the corpse out and bang away. If you're one of the cemetery people you'll have more work to do. An experienced necrophiliac is always equipped with the bare essentials: a shovel, Vaseline and a box of rubbers. Why the shovel is needed should be obvious, but if the ground is hard then you might need more equipment to dig up your date. Vaseline is used to loosen the corpse up a bit. This makes it less likely for a body part to break off while you're having fun and it also prevents your mantool from becoming too irritated while screwing the dried out pussy. The BOX of condoms is used to play it safe no necrophiliac should be without it. You never know which STDs your partner had during his/her lifetime, and believe me, it doesn't get any better after the person dies. You can put on more than one rubber for extra protection if it is warranted, but screwing a corpse without protection is just plain stupid unless you want to be the next date for a necrophiliac. If you're in a cemetery try to drag the corpse out of the grave and behind a bush or to another secluded place. Pumping away in the grave may seem more convenient, but it's a severe disadvantage to you if you need to take off in a hurry. Sometimes the corpse is too fragile to be moved in that case make it fast. Or just break off the head, hand or lower torso and take it with you for added convenience.
Note from the pixel fairy: This is where i must warn you! Vaseline dissolves latex, meaning it will eat through your or dead-boy's condom. Use KY Jelly or anything else that's not oil-based.
Part IV: Techniques
So now you've got a stiff lying seductively in front of you, but you have no idea how to start. How you proceed from this point onward really depends upon what kind of person you are. The corpse will last longer if you treat it gently and with care, but if you prefer to go all out you'll probably receive greater satisfaction. There are many differences between screwing a live and a dead person which one needs to be aware of. Firstly, a corpse will never tell you to get off of it if you're being a bit rough and it will never complain no matter what kinky sexual practices you use it for. Screwing a corpse is also much more predictable because you can raise an arm, leg or whatever and it will still be in that position when you reach for it again. Take the arms and gently lock them in an embrace behind your back, or spread the legs to make sex a bit easier. If you want a great blowjob then lubricate your partner's mouth, lock it to your preferred width, insert and go for it. Although there's no tongue stimulation it's still worthwhile, and it's also safer than conventional sex. Corpses can also be recycled if treated properly. If you're a proficient embalmer you can keep a corpse for over five years if it has been properly embalmed. That's free sex whenever you want it! You naturally don't want to be too rough with an embalmed corpse though as they are more fragile. One final advantage of screwing corpses is that they are always in abundance. Based upon your sexual preferences you can designate a cemetery or a morgue as your territory and always find fresh partners to screw. Plus you don't have to resort to cheesy pickup lines or spend all your money in order to get a date. necrophiliac is a passion which is cheaply satisfied.
Note from the pixel fairy: Necrophilia is not so cheaply enjoyed unless you already have such direct access.
V. Conclusion
I hope that this text file will encourage you to go out and try necrophilia. Not many people do it, but that's precisely what makes it so much fun it makes you feel special! If no living person would touch you with a 10 foot pole then try having sex with a corpse! Some of them are real beauties and it's an experience you'll never forget. There is no greater experience for a virgin than having his/her virginity taken by a corpse. Anyways, have fun and if you have any experiences you'd like to share then by all means do! Maybe necrophilia will enter the mainstream because of your efforts
Why would your mom want to recompile a kernel? As for installing RPMs, KDE makes that a 1 click procedure, you don't even have to download anything. With Konqueror, if you click a link the KDE rpm package manager installs it for you.
What my mom can't handle is downloading something , finding it, and installing it.
Linux's core might be hard to use, but KDE/Gnome isn't.
I'm not sure how parent's FUD got modded up.
--------
It's OK to be social, just don't tell anyone about it.
I want you all to know that my mom DOES use linux. I setup the sytstem for her, and she doesn't have much of a choice ;)
I don't think she has any issues with it particularly related to linux either. All she does is use Mozilla and OpenOffice, so the differences are minimal. Except for the crashing. None of that.
--
grep "xercist"
Early hours, open road, family of five - on their way home
Having enjoyed a day in the sun, their encounter with gore has just begun
A homicidal fool not knowing left from right, now has the family in his sight
Trying to perceive if he's blind or insane,
he steers his car into the other lane
Both of them collide, expressions horrified
Head on at full speed, the vultures will soon feed
The father of three was impaled on the wheel,
as his skull became a part of the dash
His eyeballs ejected his sight uneffected, he saw his own organs collapse
His seatbelt was useless for holding him back, it simply cut him in two
Legs were crushed, out leaked pus as his spinal cord took off and flew
The mother took flight through the glass, and ended up impaled on a sign
Her intestines stretched from the car down the road for a quarter of a mile
Fourth child on the way, won't live another day
Fetus on the road, with mangled little bones
Little children fly, not a chance to wonder why
Smashed against the ceiling, all their skin burning and peeling
Shards of glass explode, chest and skull now implode
Corpses they've become, and graves will have to be dug
Underneath the wheels, burning rubber on your face
Bleeding from your eyes, the slaughtered victims lies
Knowing what he's done, he just backs up one more time
Laughing at the mess, a pile of meat on the street
One child left slowly dying now, arteries gushing blood
Now it's time to feed on flesh, the gore has just begun
Early hours, open road, family of five - on their way home
Having enjoyed a day in the sun, their encounter with gore has just begun
A homicidal fool not knowing left from right, now has the family in his sight
Trying to perceive if he's blind or insane,
he steers his car into the other lane
The look of death in my eye
Surely no-one will survive
Just a pile of mush
Left to dry in the sun
I see my fresh kill
Left in the road
Remains of your bodies
Mangled and torn
[Solo: Bob]
[Solo: Jack]
One child left slowly dying now, arteries gushing blood
Now it's time to feed on flesh, the gore has just begun
But she does use another UNIX-like OS. :)
You don't have to build kernels or install RPMs to use Linux. My mom doesn't install software or drivers in Windows anyways.
I'm surprised noone as modded you as "troll" yet.
To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three persons, two of them absent.
would you prefer to have a two hour telephone support call from your mom, or a 10 minute SSH session to fix your mom's computer long distance. ask yourself that question before you ask yourself why your Mom is using Windows.
~ a low user id is no indication I have a clue what I'm talking about.
Sheesh... Look, if you set it up for Mom and put icons on the desktop for her to click on for her email, web browser, and office suite, she won't know the difference. Build a kernel module? Come on... now you're just being a troll.
" Look, my mom has trouble with Excel. You think she'd be able to run Linux? You think she'd be able to build a kernel module? Even install an RPM package?"
:) Linux window managers should stop emulating MS Windows so damned much. I use the command line, and the computer semi-illiterate don't know how to use MS Windows anyway.
Right. So here's the deal. My parents have installed two software packages intentionally in the entire lifetime of their latest computer which runs Windows 98 or XP or 2K or what-fucking-ever (a couple years). Their installs were roughly as simple as Mozilla's Linux installer, interestingly enough. Any other software on the box either came there, or trojaned itself on (Gator et. al.).
They don't change their video resolution. They don't create new shortcuts. They fire up the box, click on one of about 5 icons, use the program, and close it. Sometimes they switch between programs. When they need to do something more difficult (send e-mail attachments, open an unrecognized file extension in a particular program, etc.), they ask me or someone else who knows more about computers.
So, if they were using Linux instead of Windows, and the two programs had installers as sophisticated as Mozilla's (a faulty assumption, so assume they just asked me to install 'em while I was in town), what would be the difference? The difference would be they wouldn't have Gator, and that's about it.
Is there a reason for them to switch to Linux, given they already have something that basically works? No. Would they get anything extra out of it? No. But Linux wouldn't be any more difficult for them than Windows already is.
Interestingly, though I meant for this argument to be pro-Linux, it looks a lot more pro-Mac.
There are many reasons why this isn't really feasible. X and XConfigurator give real techies issues. If your mom has trouble with things like this:
'my computer is running out of virtual memory' or 'my email keeps beeping at me' or 'I can't read this document' or (the best one) 'my computer is -broken-'.
Is she really in a situation to be able to deal with configuring/installing her video card and monitor? Is she likely to know the correct firewall settings? And I'm sure if she needs to install a security patch that she'll be fine recompiling her kernel, right?
Be realistic here. While Linux may not have some of the "annoying" features that she complains to you about, I'd personally rather explain why her email beeps at her than try to walk my mom through a kernel install on Linux.
You really can't get much easier than WindowsUpdate for that.
And with Linux attacks on the rise more than Windows, isn't giving a relatively technologically-unknowing person a Linux box just asking for trouble?
I'm not trying to start a Windows vs. Linux/Unix war, obviously, since that debate has raged for years. And probably will continue to. I am definitely not underrating Linux either. I am just saying as far as "Ease of use" goes, I don't think a rational argument can be made for Linux vs. Windows.
If your mom lives near (read: you still live with her, heh) you, then maybe. But if you do NOT live at home, chances are Windows will be much easier for her to work with.
"PC Load Letter? What the $@#% does that mean?!"
My parents called me up a few months ago and asked me to find a new computer for them - their old Pentium 100 running Win95 finally died.
I told them that I could put together a system for them, but that it would not include Windows and they seemed to be open to that idea. Basically all they need to do is email, web surfing and some word processing so I figured that Linux was ready.
I put Lycoris on their new box and delivered it to them a month ago - so far it's working fine for them.
Now, of course they want to hook up their digital camera and an all-in-one scanner/printer, so there could be some challenges ahead.
However, if your computer-challenged parent just needs to connect to the net, send email, surf and do some simple word processing, I don't see why they can't use Linux at this point.
--don't panic
Really, Linux is ALOT faster than a cluttered down windows install, one of the many perks is that there is still so little bloat/spamware availiable for the linux platform. just adding the basics will keep them happy, since there is NO way for them to (atleast not totaly)screw it up (no root, no skroo) and another beautyful perk: another shell account! (take THAT shellyeah.org!) seriously, folks, wouldnt you feel more comfortable visiting your mom knowing she runs linux? (yes, some of us are that lame)
c0w goes moo.
At least with Linux you can also have the ssh fallback for more serious problems, and behind-the-scenes work.
ROC
Love it.
it's my mom, telling me that "my computer is running out of virtual memory"
Well, since Windows dynamically optimizes the swapfile without you knowing about it, and fingers-crossed she hasn't maxed out her HDD...
She must be using a Mac! Macs back in the day used to ship by default with the pagefile OFF!
If my suspicions are correct, she was on a Mac, and if you think Linux will solve her problems you are insane.
"I can't read this document"
Of ALL OSes, you think LINUX will solve THIS problem? GIVE ME A BREAK! Looking for an OS where you can view any document w/o trouble? It's called Windows, followed by MacOS. Macs may even beat Windows in ease of opening a document cause of the resource tags (I forgot the exact name) that are associated with each file that specify the application that created the file. Gawd, Macs make things soo damn easy, you'd be crazy to put your Mother on anything else. Move a folder somewhere else? That's OK, all the settings update with it.
MacOS Classic worked wonders; unfortunately it never made it to mainstream use as much as it could (should) have.
Aw, fuck it. Let's go bowling. - The Big Lebowski
At first take the idea sounds preposterous. Moms in general never have been and never will be computer saavy. My mom can't even change channels on the cable box properly (somehow she always ends up hitting the tv/vcr button, or changing the tv channel instead, or any number of other inconceivable screwups that leave her bewildered).
But then maybe that's part of the point. My mom runs Windows on her pc, and she's taken to it like a fish to a bicycle. She hasn't caught on to the concept of "directories" yet. If it's not in the first folder she opens, she tells me her files anre missing and I need to find them. When I give her tech support, it always devolves into excruciating detail: "Choose Save As from the File menu and save it with the name you want... Alright click on File... Now click on Save As... Now type in the file name... in the box that says "file name" next to it... yeah now click 'OK'".
Given these conditions, what is the difference between my mom running linux and Windows? Absolutely none. She can't even figure out that her email "isn't working" because she forgot to dial in to earthlink first, much less install a printer or an application. Anything she does, she needs to be shown exactly how to do first. If the slightest deviation from how it was shown to her occurs, she's completely lost and calls for help. She'd be just as lost on a Mac. Her problems have nothing to do with the operating system she uses.
Linux wouldn't make her life any easier, but then it wouldn't make it any worse either. However her running linux would make my life significantly better. If things don't work, I can login and fix the problem... remotely. I can set up a firewall and update the rules when necessary... remotely. I can install a new application or security updates... remotely. It's a hell of a lot easier to administer a linux machine remotely than a windows machine.
Install linux on your mother's machine. Don't do it for her. Do it for you.
Democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on lunch.
"...So, I am here to finally tell the moms of the world: you can trash the default operating system, replace it with Linux, and have the full power and reach of your computer, finally, in your hands..."
But this is a bad thing. Many people don't want "the full power and reach of your computer". They want to email their friends, surf the web, do a little word processing, play MP3s, take the red-eye out of their digital photos. Giving them the full power of the computer doesn't give them any of this. They want a machine that does a few things well, not one that makes eveything possible.
These applications are of course made possible because underneath is the full power of the computer. But most users only care about a few specific applications. Linux is a very, very good OS if you care about accessing the core features of the computer; having real control over it. It isn't (yet) the best choice if you want to do just a few things well, partly because it doesn't yet have the range of applications and partly because it still doesn't have a consumer UI.
A consumer UI is not just about how easy it is to do some things (some of the Linux desktops like KDE are getting closer to this goal). Its also about not being able to do some things. A good consumer OS should do a lot of the underlying information management that Linux exposes. Consumers don't want to have to understand the implications of - for example - a UNIX-style filesystem layout in order to get their work done.
Sailing over the event horizon
just so you know slashdot is crap and the reason there are so many trolls is becuase this site is garbage and any fool who takes it seriously is a very sad individual.
My mom uses a Mac. Get a grip people. I use all three, have all three at home, can hack all three, for many things prefer Linux. But there's really only one OS that keeps my wife, kids, and parents from calling me with problems... a Mac.
One man's pink plane is another man's blue plane.
If your Mom runs, say, Windows 98, what happens when she needs something fixed? She calls you. You drive over to her house. You muck about with your computer while she asks you when you're finally going to graduate from college or how long it's going to be until she has grandkids.
A Linux install and SSH saves both of you time and effort. For example:
Mom: "Something's wrong. I got an instant message link in my e-mail and it won't work."
You (typing in background): "Got it. It's already fixed!"
Mom: "So when are you --"
You: "Oops! Pizza's here gottago loveya bye!"
I'm gonna get my Mom using Linux this year.
He who refuses to do arithmetic is doomed to talk nonsense.
"I've heard WinXP removed the cmd/command prompt."
No, Microsoft didn't remove the CMD.EXE or COMMAND.COM prompt from Windows XP. But Windows XP has reduced functionality, in many ways, not just in the command line. The command line is a big embarrassment because of its limited capabilities, but at least in Win 95 it worked. With every version since then it has worked less well. (There are two kinds of command prompt, and, according to Microsoft employees, the differences between them are not documented.)
The command line prompt sometimes begins to display short file names. Microsoft employees say that Microsoft has no fix, although someone not connected with Microsoft did make a work-around.
Cutting and pasting into a command line program often puts successive extra spaces before each line. Microsoft employees say that there is no plan to fix this.
The fast paste mode that is in Windows 98 is gone in Windows XP. Microsoft employees say there is no plan to fix this.
When using the command line interface, Windows XP doesn't always update the time. After several hours, the time reported to command line programs can be several hours in error.
There is a DOS program called START.EXE that can be used to start other programs. But it does operate the same way as in other versions of Windows. It starts a program, but cannot be made to return control to the command line program as previous versions did. There is no technical reason for this; it is just one of the shortcomings that are allowed to exist.
People often say that DOS has gone away. But Microsoft still calls the command line interface DOS, and in Windows XP Microsoft has added new programs for configuring the OS that work only under DOS.
Sometimes when you press a key while using Windows XP, it is seconds until there is any response. Apparently there is something wrong with the CPU scheduler in XP, because there are a lot of complaints about this in the forums and MS people have said that they are working on it. On one particular fresh installation of XP, on an Intel motherboard with either a Matrox G550 or an ATI Radeon video adapter, it requires 18 seconds to display a directory listing of 94 items. This is apparently related to a bug in the video software, not the adapter drivers.
Something is wrong with the Alt-Tab display of running programs under Windows XP. If there are a lot of programs, not all of them are displayed. The order jumps around in a seemingly random way.
Although articles often say negative things about Microsoft, I've never seen an article that fully documents how bad the situation really is. Microsoft's management is so bad that the company has become self-destructive. For example, Windows XP is spyware. Here is a list of ways Windows XP connects to Microsoft's servers:
- Application Layer Gateway Service (Requires server rights.)
- Fax Service
- File Signature Verification
- Generic Host Process for Win32 Services (Requires server rights.)
- Microsoft Application Error Reporting
- Microsoft Baseline Security Analyzer
- Microsoft Direct Play Voice Test
- Microsoft Help and Support Center
- Microsoft Help Center Hosting Server (Wants server rights.)
- Microsoft Management Console
- Microsoft Media Player (tells Microsoft the music you like)
- Microsoft Network Availability Test
- Microsoft Volume Shadow Copy Service
- MS DTC Console program
- Run DLL as an app
- Services and Controller app
- Time Service, sets the time on your computer from Microsoft's computer.
- Microsoft Office keeps a number in each file you create that identifies
your computer. Microsoft has never said why.
- Microsoft mouse software has reduced functionality until you let it connect
to Microsoft computers.
These are just the ones I know. There may be others.So, if you use Windows XP, your computer is dependent on Microsoft computers. That's bad, not only because you lose control over your possession, but because Microsoft produces buggy software and doesn't patch bugs quickly. For example, as of July 7, 2002, there are 18 unpatched security holes in Microsoft Internet Explorer. This is a terrible record for a company that has $40 billion in the bank. Obviously, with that kind of money, Microsoft could fix the bugs if it wanted to fix them. Since the bugs are very public and Microsoft has the money, it seems reasonable to suppose that top management at Microsoft has deliberately decided that the bugs should remain, at least for now.
It seems possible that there is a connection between all the bugs and the U.S. government's friendly treatment of Microsoft's law-breaking. The U.S. government's CIA and FBI and NSA departments spy on the entire world, and unpatched vulnerabilities in Microsoft software help spies.
Windows XP, and all current Windows operating systems, have a file called the registry in which configuration information is written. If this one (large, often fragmented) file becomes corrupted, the only way of recovering may be to re-format the hard drive, re-install the operating system, and then re-install and re-configure all the applications. The registry file is a single, very vulnerable, point of failure. Microsoft apparently designed it this way to provide copy protection. Since most entries in the registry are poorly documented or not documented, the registry effectively prevents control by the user.
Note that Microsoft does not support making functional complete backups under Windows XP. Look at Microsoft's policy about this: Q314828 Microsoft Policy on Disk Duplication of Windows XP Installation. Only those who work with Microsoft software will understand the true meaning of Microsoft's policy. Since almost all programs use the registry operating system file, if you cannot make a functional copy of the operating system you cannot make a functional copy of all your application installations and configurations. There are other software companies that try to fix this, but they don't work well, and Microsoft can, of course, break their implementations, as they have often done with other kinds of competitors.
Because the configuration information for the motherboard and the configuration information for the are mixed together in the registry file, the registry tends to prevent you from moving a hard drive to a computer with a different motherboard. That's another implication of the above Microsoft policy. So, if you have a motherboard failure, and a good complete backup, you may not be able to recover unless you have a spare computer with the same motherboard.
Note that Windows XP Professional can support only ten simultaneous incoming network connections. If you want more than that, you must use Windows 2000 server, and pay much, much more. (There is no Windows XP server yet.) Many businesses have very light network traffic; they just move files from staff member to staff member; they really don't need a dedicated server computer. The staff computers could easily handle the load except for this artificial limitation.
Apparently because the Windows XP GUI comes from Windows 98, Windows XP has the same problem with desktop icons that Windows 98 has. The icons sometimes flicker. Sometimes they move themselves around, particularly after the user switches monitor resolutions. Also, sometimes the taskbar settings un-configure themselves, as they do in Windows 98.
Only technically knowledgeable people know how to avoid signing up for a Microsoft Passport account during initial use of Windows XP. The name Passport gives an indication of Microsoft's thinking. A passport is a document issued by a sovereign nation. Without it, the nation's citizens cannot travel, and, if they leave, won't be allowed back in their own country. In Microsoft's corporate thinking, the company seems to be moving in the direction of believing that they own the user's computer. Most people are both honest and intimidated. Apparently about 95% do whatever they are asked on the screen. They give their personal information to Microsoft. They don't realize that, if they feel forced to get a Passport account, they should enter almost completely fictitious information, since the real question is not "What is your name and address", but "Can we invade your privacy". The honest answer to this is "No, you cannot invade my privacy", and the only effective way to communicate that is to give completely fictitious information. Since it is the educated people who have computers, Microsoft is building a database of the personal lives of educated people. Microsoft knows when they connect and from what IP address (which tends to show the area), what kind of help they ask, and information about what they are doing with their computers, including what music they like. It is not known, and there is no way to know, how much Microsoft or other organizations make use of this information, or their plans for future use.
Not only has Windows XP definitely gone further in the direction of allowing the user less control over his or her own machine, but with Palladium, Microsoft apparently intends to finish the job: Microsoft will have ultimate control over the user's computer and therefore all his or her data. Even now, under Windows XP, a recent security patch requires that the user agree to a contract that gives Microsoft administrator privileges over the user's computer. The contract says that if a user wants to patch his or her system against a bug which would allow an attack over the Internet, he or she must give Microsoft legal control over the computer. See this article also: Microsoft's Digital Rights Management-- A Little Deeper. You may need to be a lawyer to take apart the crucial sentence. "These security related updates may disable your ability to copy and/or play Secure Content and [my emphasis] use other software on your computer" legally includes this meaning: "These updates may disable your ability to use other software on your computer." Note that the term "security related updates" is meaningless to the user because the updates have no relation to user security. So, the sentence effectively means that Microsoft can control the user's computer without notice and whenever it wants. That kind of sentence is known in psychology as "testing the limits". If there is no strong public complaint about this, expect to see more and stronger language like this.
This Register article shows the direction Microsoft is going: MS Palladium protects IT vendors, not you. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and Microsoft is well down that road. See this ZDNet article, also: MS: Why we can't trust your 'trustworthy' OS.
Microsoft's self-destructiveness does not mean that the user should be self-destructive. There is no need to apologize for using Microsoft software. The correct solution to abuse is persuading the abuser to stop being abusive. Once I posted to a Slashdot story a link to an article on a web site of mine. By far the majority of visitors from the Slashdot story used Microsoft operating systems. Rather than feel embarrassed because Microsoft is abusive, action needs to be taken to prevent the abuse. If you are against Microsoft abuse, you are not against Microsoft; you are more pro-Microsoft than Bill Gates.
These Microsoft policies mean that any government which wants to be independent of the United States government, and any government which represents itself as controlled by the people, cannot use Microsoft operating systems, or other Microsoft proprietary systems.
- poopbot: who doesn't like scat?
"...you can trash the default operating system, replace it with Linux, and have the full power and reach of your computer, finally, in your hands. No more error messages, no more advertisements, no more sending your personal information to 'register' your machine with some giant corporation, no more lost work, lost time, lost minds. Once you make the switch, you'll wonder how you ever got this far driving behind the wheel of that old clunker."
I speak from experience when I say, "no more error messages," WRONG! Obviously mom needs a gui, KDE is arguably the best/standard/representative-of-what's-available and it's a dog and it crashes. But's it's pretty.
What do you mean by, "no more advertisements?" True there aren't tens of crap programs installed on the desktop for programs you won't ever use -- that's because they're under the new "start" menu. There a huge number of programs installed by default with typical distros, and most of them aren't even named or organized in a discriptive manner.
And for that matter, most advertisements the user experiences come while browsing the web. Obviously Linux has nothing to do with the viewing of banner ads. You have to use an ad-blocker program to get such functionality, and such programs are freely available on all major operating systems.
No more registration? Yep, you don't have to register. And you don't have to get any help when KDE crashes and burns repeatedly either. In fact, if anything goes wrong (and Linux has it's own special version of dll-hell when drivers aren't working correctly), you're pretty much up shit creek without a paddle. Unless, by grace, you're the mother of a linux geek.
No more lost work? Bah, what happens when a co-worker sends you an MS Office document and your distro came with KOffice or some such crap which can't import the file? That's a lot of lost work right there. And incidentally, that's going to contribute to a lost mind.
This essay completely fails to explain why anyone should even try using Linux, especially my mom who's been using Windows for years, didn't pay for it (in her mind) because it came with her computer, didn't pay for the upgrade to Win2k (which is a good OS incidentally) either, and is finally comfortable with just checking her email. This whole essay annoyed me, obviously, because it's just another Linux-is-best jerkoff session. It's practically propoganda.
Some computer jocks are jumping off the horse because it's too bouncy and we think our mothers should give it a spin? (forgive me the horse analogy. i'm not proud of it) If we can barely maintain lesser computer users on windows machines, putting them on Linux boxes is toying on the brink of hell.
Stop the Slashdot Effect! Don't read the articles!
Situation: Mom needed computer w/net access. Mac would have been nice as that's what she's always used and knows. But the only Macs I had were 68040 based machines. Problem: Mom uses AOL (arrgh), and AOL's webmail client (which she likes, don't ask me why) uses funky java stuff which the old Mac OS browsers can't handle. Solution: Mom got an old Toshiba PII/166 laptop running Mandrake. I set it up to boot directly into the GUI (Gnome), dial PacBell, launch Netscape, and open the AOL webmail page. On the lower tool bar is a plunger icon-pressing it shuts down the machine. That's all the thing does, and she just barely manages to use it. Most recent problem: Netscape froze up, for whatever reason. Her solution: unplug computer, close lid. 2 days later she calls, "it's stuck, and every time I turn it back on it's still on the same page! What do I do?" What happened-everytime she closed the lid it happily went into sleep mode, and conserved battery power... Concepts such as cntrl-alt-backspace or cntrl-alt-delete are WAY too dificult for her, let alone opening a terminal window, finding the Netscape process, and a nice kill -9.
ehintz
and even *I* don't feel like using linux anymore.
Your answer boils down to a single, simple answer... Linux is far too complicated.
Oh don't believe me? here's my list of top pet peeves...
- APM support never became fully function or free
of administration issues so lets not even
talk about ACPI functionality. So all of
you with laptops probably have at least
as many suspend/power management problems
as I have.
- I find the configuration and implementation
of linux's network interface a complicated and
bug ridden process. For instance why after
coming out of suspend does my wireless MiniPCI
interface not come back up until I restart the
PCMCIA subsystem?
- hardware support... HAHAHAHAHA! try
building in kernel support for just about
anything. Look at the "help" and all you will
find is tons, and tons, and tons of options
or caveats all different depending on your
hardware. You'll find lots of links to "if you
want this you will also need to get tools
from yada.yada.yada...". And this is even
assuming you *know* what hardware you actually
have. "Some laptops have buggy BIOS. enable
this if you laptop crashes instead of
suspending". That's great advice. Which laptops
have this problem; exactly? And, even if you
know, the thought of "crashing" isn't going
to induce any positive perspectives of linux
anytime soon.
If you give me enough time I can certainly come up with an almost endless list and I haven't even begun to touch upon topics such as lack of marketing presence or issues concerning the horrible integration of highly disjointed projects. (How many sound "architectures" do we have, at least two. How many printing systems? how many pcmcia projects? How many web browsers?) I'll agree to arguments that each project has its benefits but your mother won't care. Even I'm past caring. I'm more interested in something that works with out consuming hours of my week adminstering the machine's operating system.It boils down to this... I buy a machine and I can put Windows XP on it and it takes me a *total* of two hours after which *everything* on the machine functions and I didn't have to know or choose any options at all. I can choose from a selection of thousands of fully functional software application and all the latest games and entertainment.
If I put linux on the machine it takes me three months to get the MiniPCI wireless network card working at all and after half a year I still don't have support for the modem in the machine [Dell Inspiron 4100].
I figure this post will generate all sorts of "ACPI does work if you do..." or "your PCMCIA doesn't come up because this script on your machine is broken..." or "It works on my machine." But this will only prove my point...
Answer: Your mother doesn't use linux because its too complicated.
I will never live for sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.
Keep on believing that, bucko.
Stop looking at this post!
for the same reason most people aren't running linux...
AOL hasn't put out an instructional video on how to run it.
Laugh or call me a troll all you want, but the there's really no one to teach it to them (at simple fact of the matter is that most moms aren't going to get off their duffs and use linux because they don't want to have to learn it, and least not hold their hands all the way through it).
For a lot of linux users, the computer is the means and the end. The same can't be said for our mammas.
"It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once." -David Hume
I'll tell you why: OSX. It's _gorgeous_. It doesn't go down. She doesn't harass me about how to use it. It just works. It looks pretty. To top it all off, it meets my technical approval. I'm not sure how I feel about the chewy mach center, but userland feels "right".
First off, the first reason I use linux now is because a few years ago my dad told me that if I wanted to do anything with networks, that knowing linux is a good idea. He doesn't use it himself because it lacks the applications that he uses on a daily basis, like AutoCAD, and at this point he is liking Tiger Woods PGA 2002 for some reason. My first priority will be converting my siblings, because well, first off they are easier to convert to new technology, because my mom a few years ago couldn't do anything with the computer besides turn the thing on, run calculator, and maybe, maybe use word. I have installed RedHat 7.2 on my sister's computer, and have shown my brother my install of RH 7.3, and well, since their computers aren't the greatest powers in the world, celeron 300a, and p133 respectively, they are very interested in something that would run faster than windows, since all they really do with their computers is homework, and games that have counterparts in linux already. Then if all three of us actually use and like linux for a while, I will hope that the Wine project has gotten to the point of allowing the applications that are normally used on the family computer to run in a non-Microsoft environment.
My mom has actually asked a few times about Linux, and seems genuinely interested in trying it someday. Personally, I'm not ready to suggest people use it yet. It's close to being a great desktop... so close I can almost taste it (I've been using free unixen since slackware 3.0) ... but IMHO it's just not *quite* there yet. A few more revisions of Mozilla, GNOME, and/or KDE and we'll see... I think that OpenOffice is a huge step in the right direction, I tried it for the first time a week ago and I was stunned at how much better it got since StarOffice 5.2. Really, I think the best part of my family members switching to linux would be ease of secure remote administration so I can just log in to fix something rather than having to actually drive to their place or walk them through something on the phone (which is painful, lord do I have sympathy for the telephone tech support people out there). As it is I've managed to train my mom in the basics of getting the machine's IP address and how to start up winvncserver so I can vnc in... I think that was one of the first times she really opened her eyes to th power of free software, becuase she was just stunned at how easy vnc made it for me to fix her machine from hundreds of miles away and completely blown away when I answered her "how much does this cost?" question with "not a damn thing, it's free software". I think probably what I'll do if she's serious about making the switch is start her off on openoffice, mozilla, and the gimp on windows, then after she's comfortable with that, give her a new machine running linux as the "invisible substrate" under openoffice et al.
News for Geeks in Austin, TX
Dammit, Linux sucks! I mean, shit!
v iosjdiouhgiouahsdiuheuitotg
Also: FUCKING SLASHDOT! I HAVE EVERY FUCKING RIGHT TO POST LOGGED IN YOU SHITPOT. FUCK SHIT.
Some lower case letters: posdfijpoiashpoiahpsdofdf
afsdoijopqijiorgjiogmn
My plan is: Each time my mom calls with a tech question for her PC, I time the call, and ask her to put $(minutes) into a cookie jar. When she has $1300, I'll tell her to use it to get an LCD iMac.
Kevin Fox
...that this article ran shortly after the articles pointing out Linux's flaws as a desktop OS?
.TAR or .Z or any of that other crap. She's not going to recompile any software. I doubt she'll even use RPM . With a Windows (or even a Mac) box, she can go to the store, buy a prog, slap the CD in, and get going.
If people want their moms running *nix, get them a Macintosh with OSX. Apple had the right idea, and Linux developers should be eyeballing them very carefully.
Make fun of Windows all you want, but the simple fact of the matter is that it is day and night easier to use than Linux when placed in front of 'a mother'. Want to install your USB camera? Plug it in. Oops, does it need a driver? Put the CD that came with the camera in.
It's not just a matter of Windows being easier to use, but it is better supported too. You're not going to buy a digital camera with Linux drivers shipped on the CD.
Let's be realistic here: If you set up a Linux box for your mother, she is stuck with the software you put on it. She's not gonna know how to
Linux needs: a.) Better desktop support, i.e. fix the problems mentioned in that article a couple of days back. b.) Software, on the shelves, in stores. c.) To have a Desktop distro that doesn't require that mommy dearest go type in badly spelt, unintuitive commands in order to muck with things.
This is not flamebait or trolling people, this is exactly what is holding Linux back as a 'Windows killer'. Some of the Slashdot Community needs to face the fact that both Microsoft and Apple did quite a few important things right. The karma I've burned trying to explain this emphasizes my point.
twenty seconds is too long.
Slashdot only allows a user with your karma to post 2 times per day. You've already shared your thoughts with us that many times. Take a breather, and come back and see us in 24 hours or so.
If you think this is unfair, please email jamie@mccarthy.vg with your username "SweetAndSourJesus".
for my mom to call and ask how to run that funny attatchment she just got from her sister in email. or how to install that "Friends" screen saver she saw on the website.
Question
http://www.ironfroggy.com/
And she won't (though I've managed to thoroughly convince her that Microsoft is not on our side), because it doesn't run Quicken. She likes to keep our finances, and she's grown very accustomed to the many features - retirement planning estimators, savings goals, and other substantial parts of the software beyond balancing the checkbook.
I hate call waitin`~+~~~
NO CARRIER
A Linux install and SSH saves both of you time and effort. For example:
...two hours later...
You: ok mom. i need you to bring up a shell so i can grab your IP.
Mom: a what? oh...you mean like that C:> prompt?
You: yeah mom. just click...etc.
Mom: is that a right click? where am i clicking again? oh..on the icon down at the bottom? Which mouse button should I use?
You: ok. now that you have a terminal up. i need you to type in ifconfig.
Mom: what's "effconfig?" should I be typing that by the squiggly line? here. lemme...oops. i clicked on something else. hang on....(hand to phone) It's in the cabinet, dear. No, the other side! I'll HELP YOU IN A MINUTE!! I'M ON THE PHONE!!! (phone back to ear)...ok. now what did you need me to type?
You: ifconfig. I-F-C-O-N-F-I-G.
Mom: ok...what was after that first I?
You: F
Mom: ok...F. oh poo! I just typed a G. how do i cancel this? oh wait..wait...hey. what's this uppy arrow plus H mean?
You: (your mom hears the sound of a gunshot)
Mom: honey? honey, are you there? what about my email? honey?
"It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once." -David Hume
The original essay cited above ends with our protagonist having installed Debian for his Mom. I say, so what?
If you want some real insight into why Mom isn't using Linux, first of all he should have made Mom do the install. He says:
I felt like a chicken pecking my way through all the defaults until I finally had all the packages copied over (took about twenty minutes of installing to get to the point of a login prompt). A few more commands brought down security updates, the X Window System, as well as a few applications I knew my mom would need.
Twenty minutes? How long would it have taken Mom? Pecking chicken? How many of those "pecks" were to answer arcane config questions that Mom wouldn't know the answer to? Command prompt? Please.
This right here is the first reason Mom isn't using Linux.
And even granting him that Mom might be happy on the new OS, I need to hear about her experiences in the new environment to have any opinion. Did she get any strange error messages? What happens when her friends give her programs she can't use? Can she find online help written in plain language to solve her own problems? (even today, these are questions that should be asked of any OS.) For a pro-Mom-on-Linux article, so strange that it ended without Mom using Linux! I hope there's a follow-up I'm missing, because that would contain the real answers to the title's question.
"Luck is the residue of design" --Branch Rickey
More likely your mother is "complaining" about her computer just to spend time with her son/daughter. And using your abilities as a technical guru as a way to breach conversations and contact with you. I know plenty of parents that do that.
While it's great to think your mom will stop calling when they get Linux on their machine, that will never happen. They'll just think of something else to call you about. You can't get rid of mothers, they love you.
Joseph Elwell.
So far I have read about 40 comments saying:
"My Mom *does* run linux....cause I set it up for her."
Exactly. She didn't do it, you did. And until that changes, the why doesn't my mom run linux argument won't change either.
remember, this is a tech site, so of course your mom might run linux, if she is tech savvy or has a son or daughter that is and sets it up for them. Can you say that the majority of moms out there have tech savvy children? Probably not, and 's the issue.
Sent from your iPad.
test comment goes here thanks
thank you for your cooperation!
Maybe because Linux isn't a very good easy-to-use desktop OS yet. Granted, Windows isn't perfect, but right now I'd say it's leaps and bounds ahead of Linux. Also the fact that switching your mother from Windows to Linux means that whenever she gets new hardware or upgrades, she'll have to recompile her kernel with support for her new hardware. Gimme a break, like a newbie user will know how (or even want to) do that. Also the fact that she now can't run the same software she was using before.
If your mother/family/grandparents/etc are calling you about computer problems, you should probably just upgrade them to WindowsXP or 2000. WindowsME and 98/95 have major issues of their own, and who can blame them? How old are they? Sheesh.
Not All Who Wander Are Lost
Then around Christmas, she got some nasty virus and I had to reload her system. This time I decided she wasn't going to get any more virii, so I installed linux as the primary OS, and installed win4lin that she could use within linux as a crutch if she needed one. She previously did all of her email from netscape 4, so it was easy to switch her to netscape 6 on linux. I frequently evangelize all the benefits of linux, and warn her of the nasty things MS is trying to do to their customers, this helps keep the positive idea of her running linux.
The funny thing is, she's had a lot fewer problems now. Her computer works more consistantly, and I haven't gotten a call for help for months. It was a little rocky at first as she tried to adapt to the changes, but I was able to log in remotely to inspect her system and diagnose any problems. Try doing that with Windows.
All in all, she's quite happy with her system. She can use all the programs she's used to, her computer is a lot more stable, and she doesn't have to worry about virii.
Looking for a computer support specialist for your small business? Check out
All my mom needs is a web browser and Yahoo Messenger, so I don't think she'd have much trouble running Linux if configured properly.
It kind of requires the person upgrading the computer to know Linux inside and out. I don't and most of my friends don't either. Someone wanna donate a computer to me so I _can_ learn? hehe
BONESAW IS READY!/Randy Savage
linux scrabble .22 seconds search at www.google.com:
w ar e.html
.22 seconds to search it up for her and then spent the time to set things up.
http://personal.riverusers.com/~thegrendel/soft
And think . . . some other mom who loves scrable is having the time of her life on a stable platform just because someone spent
Why don't you go to www.walmart.com and pay $300 (and probably dl Mandrake if you can't stand Lindows;) and get her an extra "scrabble" computer? That way you got nothing to lose.
If you don`t do it . . . fine, it`s your life. But don`t blame Linux for your being too lazy . . . it took me less than a second to figure you out.
Sdelat' Ameriku velikoy Snova!
My mom prefers KDE, and KDE's patience is plenty good for her gaming needs, internet & email by mozilla, multimedia by XMMS & realplayer, of course i do all the system admin work for her, she does not need root access and i don't run with root access unless i am doing something that requires it...
:)
HappyTrails
Most moms got windows preinstalled. Anyway, any new user leads to a larger market and interest in Linux. So, its actually just like making people you know join a club. Even if they didn't come completely by themselves, they DO make the club larger. Also, new users lead to demand for programs that linux may miss, eg. as one noted, a greeting-card maker.
;)
So, even if the way may be wrong, the outcome is good. So, first mom, then your moms friend. Then you start up a company installing and supporting linux, preferably hooked up with som DSL-provider
what i've found is that with the elderly who have no knowledge of computers at all (ie: my grandma)it's just as easy, if not easier, to teach them linux in the first place for several reasons:
1. much more stable
2. more eye candy (the computer illiterate LOOOVE that eye candy...
3. basically all the elderly do on a computer is putter around on the internet, check email, and play simple games...all of these are just as easy to teach for the first time on linux as windows
4. no more of those "my computer's broken" housecalls....hehehe....remote admin is GOD!
thus, the reason my grandma runs linux };->
Base 2 yields only ARTIFICIAL Intelligence
She prefers OpenBSD at work, and OS X at home. Last night we had a nice little chat about proving SOAP services through apache.
"my computer is running out of virtual memory"
that's a pretty tech-savvy mother, assuming you're not fabricating this quotation to support the idea that linux's efficiency makes it ideal as a desktop OS despite it's glaring usability problems.
linux is too fucking hard for mothers, that's why. mothers don't need super stability and speed when all they're running (at most) is word, excel, IE or AOL, windows media player, and Epson/HP/blah Scanning Thingy (and all of this is very unlikely). they don't push the envelope of multitasking, they don't run 3d games, compile software, run servers, render 3d animations, set up networks or beowulf clusters. they type reports, emails, spreadsheets and send a photo or two, maybe install an application every once in a while. what OS achieves such integrated simplicity better than XP? certainly not linux, where one must go into rpm or lib insanity when installing applications. then there's the durability of windows. you can pull the plug on a computer starting up windows xp and when you turn it back on, it'll be fine. the same goes with when windows xp is running. with linux, be prepared to reinstall unless you're god. the microsoft office applications also have excellent document crash recovery tools unlike any linux counterparts. what to do when she accidentally presses the power button in linux?
face the facts, linux is not ready for the masses.
I love this. How many people are reading this through Internet Explorer? Why aren't our mom's using Linux? Mostly because they love us. Too many would have to publicly proclaim from the rooftops:
/. through IE!"
"My mom uses Linux and I read
If she really loved you, she wouldn't put you through that and suffer M$.
When my friend told me he was ready to get his first computer (he's 50), I set him up with Windows. I'm heavily biased towards *nix, but at the time, we were interested in an online racing game that was Windows only. Vnc for windows came in real handy for showing him how to navigate usenet, manage email, etc.
After about 10 months, his computer was infected with spyware, broken media players, fubar registry entries and the like.
I reinstalled his Windows, added Mandrake 8.2 and showed him the ropes via x0rfbserver the same way i had done with Windows. No big deal. He had Windows. Now he's got both. He uses Linux.
Without the remote desktop function it would have been a nightmare to give good instructions for either OS.
I am sure your Mom would be able to build a kernel module, install a rpm package etc, if she felt it was necessary. Why am I so sure? I am a Mom and linux is just fine for me
Why Aren't our moms running Linux?
Easy, because we don't want to hear about our moms getting rooted. That's why.
nuff said
They use Mozilla for both web browsing and email, and AbiWord for simple word-processing. That all runs just fast enough with GNOME, on an old 166Mhz Cyrix box with 64MB of memory. This setup does 95% of what they want, and if I can get the printer working it will probably be 98%.
Danny.
I have written over 900 book reviews
Oh well.....who was it that said "GUIs are like diapers - everyone grows out of them eventually
Eventually . . . they grow back into them . . . diapers, that is.
Sdelat' Ameriku velikoy Snova!
someone threw me into the pool, and it was either swim, or sink. and since im still here typing...
the point is my father did his bi weekly toast of windows and never botherd to put it back on. he runs redhat 7.2 on his dual proccesor p3 machine. he's got 10 uw-scsi2 drives in a software raid.
do you want to guess who 'breaks' the machine more? my mother or my father? same person as always, my father, the unix systems administration man. now i know there are some key differences but still....
my mother checks her email(netscape 6.2) she helps us kids with our resumes (soffice 5.2) she does powerpoint presentations (soffice again) she prints with the hp printer(812). browses the web with a cable connection quite efficently. my mother is by no means a pro. i dont think she (even if she had permission to) could install an rpm not to mention she NEVER touches the console.(before i forget she uses gnome)
the two big things that stick out in my mind.. the only time she has a problem is when the cable service cuts out.. (cable co problem) and she has never, ever said "Linux doesnt work for me because it doesnt look as pretty as windows"
linux works for my mother and thats all she cares about.
enough cop outs about the way it looks, most old people care about functionality, they want to do this this and this, they dont care how, as long as its simple and stable. My father just happens to have it setup that way.
so all your windows users are going ha! she has to have it setup this way! now how many of your parents and grandparents ask you to show them how to do this that and the other thing? all of them! so why not just make the process more stable?
-- botsex is {grep;touch;strip;unzip;head;mount}
My mom's not running Linux because my mom has a Mac
Seriously, for the first six months that she had her Performa, she would turn it on, launch Word and write her correspondence, (actual quote: "That spell-check thing is pretty handy!") print it out, and turn it off. When one of my sisters was cleaning up the hard drive, she asked "So where do you save your letters?" My mom said "Why on earth would I want to do that? I've already printed them and mailed them!"
So "All Our Moms" won't ever be running the same thing -- they don't all want the same thing!
She would kick my ass if I tried to make her look at the fonts on Linux...
Give me a break. You linux geek freaks whine about proselytizing Christians, then manage to sound even more fanatical and overbearing.
Mom's don't use Linux because it breaks, it's *not* stable without some pretty in-depth knowledge, few users will help (it's true), you can't play games, and because WINDOWS CAME LOADED ON THE COMPUTER.
Any more questions?
The trick to having your mom run Linux is to maintain her machine yourself. Of course, it depends on what your mom wants to run. My family isn't really big on the popular computer games, so CrossOver covers almost all of our Windows needs anyway. YRMV.
You assume that she would be using a computer at all if I hadn't set one up for her. She only uses it because I made it do exactly what she wants, and she has someone to complain to when it stops doing what she wants. If I'm the one setting it up anyway, why should I use anything else? I'm sure that goes for lots of people here.
I know plenty of families who also go out, buy a computer, and use it as an expensive paperweight, simply because they don't really know how to use it or make it work for them. If I set up Linux for these people, does it "not count" because they didn't set it up?
OK, first the issue was that I was tech-savvy, now the issue is that lots of people aren't?
In any case, people should be tech savvy. Hello, you're all living in a technological world, and it's just going to keep getting more technological (barring natural disaster or war). Ignorance is not OK, folks. Just because you don't know how do use a computer doesn't mean you can't learn. It especially does not mean that you shouldn't have to learn.
Don't think of it as a flame---it's more like an argument that does 3d6 fire damage
Yo mama's so dumb that she was on her way to the airport and saw a sign that said "airport left." So she turned around and went home.
You were asking for it . . .
Sdelat' Ameriku velikoy Snova!
For that kind of user, I'm not sure that Linux with an install utility like Ximian Red Carpet is any more complicated than Windows. People who don't like dicking around with computer stuff are probably *good* candidates for modern Linux distributions.
My wife - a very bright woman who completed her university degree in Finance before her 20th birthday - uses spreadsheets like this: She enters the data into columns, performs the calculations by hand or with a calculator, and then enters the result in the appropriate cell.
Yes, I think it's crazy too - but she just doesn't like (or trust) computers. She's just as happy with Linux as she was with Windows - which isn't very happy, but the point is that Linux is not necessarily a step down in usability for non-geeks.
Kind of an opposite case for my mom - she spends all her time on her Windows PC, in various gardening and photograpy forums, playing Freecell for ridiculously long stretches of time, etc.
But until recently, every time I would visit, I'd end up spending half an hour fixing things, removing virii, and generally un-fucking up her computer. (I say "until recently" because, thankfully, she has a friend nearby to deal with that stuff). And, I discovered the reason I hadn't heard from her for a few weeks was because Outlook Express got so fucked up she could no longer even send or receive mail. There have been so many occasions that she's told me a Windows tale of woe, and I've told her that I'm sympathetic, but that I just don't have those kinds of problems on Linux.
I'm not sure she's ready for a change yet - she faces the same inertia problem that so many countless others face wrt their Windows use; but someday, I'll introduce her to Linux. I'll have to set it up, spend a day with her showing her how to use stuff, show her how to get more software, and so on. But after that I (and her Windows-helper friend) will probably have drastically less work to do keeping that PC going.
pr0n - keeping monitor glass spotless since 1981.
Linux applications I've used have a tendency to core dump a lot. Especially programs that haven't been around very long. Also Linux seems to lockup sometimes for no apparent reason. And please don't give me shit like it's my hardware. This is on two different boxes that are supported. In the ILM interview the project leader said that he would come in to work with as many as 30% of the Linux boxes locked up. Thankfully it has improved a bit. It simply isn't ready yet. Maybe in 3 or 4 years.
What kind of a dumb question is this? If your mom claims her computer is 'broken' on a Windows machine, how do you think she's going to understand the more complicated world of Linux?
void women (int money, time_t time);
...if I wanted her to call me more often.
"Son? What's this seashell thing?"
"Son? What's with all these programs that begin with K?"
"I keep typing soundconfig but nothing happens.... what do you mean it's spelled 'snd'?"
"What are all these progs that begin with K? Err why do 6 of them do the same thing? Okay... okay.. whatever..."
"Your sister wants you to bring a new a game over.... that's it? Are you serious? Why did you give this to me then?"
Heh.
With Konqueror, if you click a link the KDE rpm package manager installs it for you.
Funny, mine ALWAYS prompts me for a stupid 'root password'. I can't do anything productive with the system without constantly rekeying the root password, yet Lunix dogmatics would either laugh at you or verbally abuse you if you simply ran a desktop session as root the entire time.
Sorry, it's still not that easy.
creation science book
If your mom is having trouble with Windows, just wait for all the calls when you install Linux! Seriously, you don't want to go there. (This is experience speaking.)
.. Maybe he will be compassionate and let you trolls post 3 times a day
on iBooks and WLAN, no string attached, and the base station do ADSL to the ISP. Though sometimes apps do suddenly quit themselves, the iBooks were never rebooted (except during those upgrade moments).
:-(
:-))
The tech support issues with Windoze are too big a workload for me as a free consultant, Linux on the other hand is too user-unfriendly for a layman. I have tried to give them Gnome on Linux, but they did end up only able to use Netscape and not even a decent mail app with consistency UI is availbale, you could call them stupid but they are old! So Linux is out of the question.
Now they are happy to use the Macs and are able to use quite a few apps and even to produce their own travel documentaries on video (only that their iBooks can't burn DVDs
We are all impressed on what the Macs are capable to bring to these old folks when they hardly known what a CPU is and can't make sense of the difference between a harddisk and their favorite Pink Floyd CD (because I have the CD saved to MP3 on their hd, and that confused them so much
Not to mention I don't have to troubleshoot over the phone with a 90 years old fustrated woman.
Not that the Macs are perfect, there are still a lot of room to improve especially on speech recognition and user-friendliness, but current, if you need stability plus user-friendliness (perhaps also multilingual 'coz my dad and mom also use Chinese), Mac (OS X, NOT OS9! )is almost the only choice.
---
Sic? What sic?
The real value of getting linux to work on desktops is not just that the system is more stable, it's that it is easy for you to ssh into your moms computer and fix whatever problem she is having.
If she can't figure out why mozilla isn't loading, ssh into her box and figure it out. If her box needs upgrading, ssh in and fix it. Etc.
There are utils available for doing this with Windows boxen I hear. But using gentoo, debian, RH or whatever one gets the power of package management, security and so forth.
So Linux is not only great for maintaining stable and strong computers for the non-tech-literate (Mom) but it's also easier for the sysadmin (Son) to maintain!
I will often see Linux posts go something like this:
"My Mom/Grandma/Dad/Uncle now uses Linux, I set it all up for her/him, and she has icons for this, this and this"
Great, you are obviously capable of setting up a nice Linux setup, but your Mom is now dependant on you for everything regarding the way things are set up, all the way down to the software installed. Now, I wouldn't expect most inexperienced users to be tinkering with their setups - most shouldn't. But putting a user down in front of their machine and giving them virtually no control over anything, is a bit bothersome to me.
Having someone rely on you for every single configuration issue is not what I would consider polite, or something that will improve the fortunes of Linux or whatever.
You may use Linux because it works for you. Giving someone a Linux setup that they haven't the most basic understanding of is just boosting your own ego. "Look at MY platform. Even MY MOM can use it."
God forbid she want to install a simple Solitare program on her own.
Install a new piece of hardware (Inexperienced users may not be tweaking their config files, but they _do_ love their peripherals).
Or anything else.
They shouldn't have to rely on someone else for everything. Lots of inexperienced users figure things out on their own, sometimes with hillarious or disasterous results, but they do, because they want to learn, or at least be able to have a mesure of control over their own system.
She has an old iMac running MacOS 9.1. It works, it's stable, and it's virus-free (she gloats about that to her Wintel friends all the time). She's a reasonably competent user and wonders why anyone ever uses Windows. She hates it.
And she is seriously considering a flat-panel iMac because she thinks they look cool and she likes OS X.
So she's got no interest at all in running Linux, but she's not a Windows drone by any means. And at least MacOS X is a Unix at heart. She won't be hanging around the CLI like I do, but she'll be a Unix user soon enough.
-- Josh Turiel
"2. Do not eat iPod Shuffle."
Last time I fiddled with a Mandrake release, its install program basically consisted of "OK, do you know what you're doing? You don't? OK, then, why don't you go have a cup of tea and come back later. I'll deal with this."
Not what I want for my own installs, but nice for the Moms of the world, isn't it?
I had no interest in trying to support a Windows PeeCee from 800 miles away, so I spent the bucks on the [overpriced] touchpad. I think it was worth it, because the damn thing just works, day after day, and I don't have to worry about Outlook viruses, IE security holes, or *shudder* Windows Update.
One simple rule for its versus it's
There is no way that anyone with the computing skills of your mom (i.e., none) can hope to get Linux into a state where they can do anything they consider useful with it.
Not without copious outside assistance and an assurance that if they type the wrong thing they'll only destroy their own computer.
--Blair
Honestly, the lack of certain kinds of software for Linux has kept me from setting it up on my parents' PC.
1. My mom, like most mothers I know, is very interested in creating greeting cards and thank-you notes on a color inkjet printer. I have yet to see a single greeting-card maker program for Linux. (Did anyone ever write one of these yet? Maybe sort of a Broderbund "Print Shop" clone, even?) Even if a free open-source card-maker is available, what kind of card artwork comes with it? For under $25, you can buy one of several Windows-based greeting card programs that come with a CD full of commercially-designed cards from respected companies like Hallmark or American Greetings. I'm not sure some Linux guru is going to be able to match that artistic quality in his/her spare time as a freeware project....
2. My folks also do a lot of family research. So far, I haven't seen a single package better than Broderbund's "Family Tree Maker" for their needs. Again, this puppy isn't available in a Linux version. I'm sure Linux has a number of geneology packages for it - but honestly, I don't think any are as user-friendly or comprehensive as "Family Tree Maker".
3. There's a real lack of children's educational software for Linux. I have yet to see any commercial Linux offerings from any of the people who own the rights to the characters children like and relate to. (Disney learning titles, Dr. Seuss, the Bernstein Bears, Sesame Street, etc.) My parents want their youngest child to be able to play learning games on their PC sometimes, and expect it to handle whatever discount title they pick up at the local Best Buy store.
StarOffice and KDE/Gnome + internet apps are a teriffic "core" -- but until some of these other software gaps get filled, Linux isn't ready for many "family PCs".
So, she now has a Mac running OSX. It's roughly as stable as Linux. It's about as easy to use as Gnome or KDE (not worse but not better either), and a lot nicer than Windows. If there is one thing that's worse it's that my mother finds a lot less software for the Mac that she likes than for Linux.
On the other hand, she can now go out and buy a piece of hardware or software, asking for something that is "Mac OSX compatible" and she can get books that are aimed at non-technical users. Also, the Apple brand name stands for pretty consistently decent hardware, whereas with PCs, finding good hardware is a gamble even if you buy a brand name.
So, consider getting your mother a Macintosh. Technically, it is really no better and no worse than Linux, but Apple's market presence and the support infrastructure around it makes it useful for non-technical users. As long as they remain mostly UNIX/Linux-compatible and don't do something really stupid in their relationship with the open source community, I think they are a decent choice.
Most of the posts I've read on this and similar stories go something like "I set up a Mandrake/SuSe box running KDE 3.0 for them and it looks just they're used to. They can surf the web with mozilla and do e-mail with Kmail. They love OpenOffice.org and they can do all the things that they did with Windows." Don't get me wrong. It's possible to set up a Linux box that is user friendly and has GUIs that hide all the scary geek stuff beneath. It's as soon as something goes wrong that Moms don't like Linux.
When something goes wrong with Windows, it's nothing out of the ordinary. People are used to that. Hey, Moms are cozy and comfortable with that. They know what to do, just reboot. If it's serious they call in the /.er of the family. But when something goes wrong with Linux, that's when it's scary.
I like linux. I'm still new to it, and I find tons of problems when I try to do something I don't know how to. I have to RTM and the Howto and the Readme before I finally learn how to go about it, and then there are all the unexpected problems along the way. For me it's a challenge that I'm often happy to tackle. For a Mom, when they try to do something and they can't, or they create a problem or something just goes wrong, it isn't a challenge. It's a problem and it makes them wish for something familiar.
What's in a Sig?
/sbin/ifconfig|grep "inet addr">/tmp/ipoutput /tmp/ipoutput 5 70 /tmp/ipoutput
:-)
gdialog --textbox
rm
# End of script
Then you say "Mom just read what it says on the screen......"
Of course if her problem is getting online in the first place then this will be less than helpful. Be sure you set that up correctly!
Oh yeah, install gdialog while you're at it.
I know; I know; it's very quick and verrrry dirty but I'm not going to play with sed to make it look pretty just so I get an extra karma point.
ps. The lameness filter screws it up if I put in the #!/bin/bash like I'm supposed to. Grrrrr!
Let's all admit right off the bat that Linux has very little desktop presence.
Let's further admit right up front that it's slow penetration into this area isn't due to price.
We might discuss reasons like the evil business practices of Microsoft. We all know how they have in the past used every legal and some illigal means of preventing OEMs from bundling competitors software. I think we all understand the implications for Linux in regards to those business practices.
But still. Don't you think there is another reason why Linux has very little presence on the deskop? It's just plain not fit for consumer...well, consumer consumption. It's just not good enough in that regard. At least not yet.
Having arrived at this conclusion, I ask myself "why?" One very important answer comes to mind: Linux developers and users (and there's hardly a difference, really) don't want it to become a consumer-ized product. They want, rather, the consumer to become a Linux-nerd. Think I'm exaggerating? A prime example can be had in a comment just a few inches above this one - "GUIs are like diapers - everyone outgrows them eventually."
It is this sentiment that is preventing Linux from moving into the deskop market. Gates' sly dealings with OEMs notwithstanding...I think it's time to admit some of the problem is Linux itself. And the responsibility for that lies squarely at the feet of it's developers.
I've made this prediction time and time again in these forums and here I go one more time - "One day someone will make a Linux distro that truly is consumer-oriented. That distro will be universally hated by the existing Linux community."
Linux will be forever a server OS and a geek-toy until and unless this changes.
You like your Macintosh better than me, don't you Dave? Dave? Can you hear me Dave?
Mother early 70s, father late 60s. Mother never used a computer in her life. Father last used a computer when it was essential you knew octal. They have been using NT4.0 on a Celeron for 2 years now. They have had 1 blue screen and 1 virus in two years. I get perhaps one application support call every couple of months.
When they initally requested a PC I thought about installing Linux on it, but discarded that thought PDQ; reasons below.
Their requirements are limited: Office, printing, e-mail and browsing and an occaisional bespoke app. Stability will not be an issue on such a simple NT4.0 machine.
They live in a rather under-populated part of Wales. If something goes wrong with their PC and they need to get help, the nearest places offering support are a rather poor quality independent retailer with no experience of Linux and Dixons!
Once a week they travel to a sixth form college that runs computer courses for the general public. Needless to say these are aimed at Windows users and cover the use of Office applications. If they have problems with their PC their tutor is familiar with Windows and can offer advice. If they were using Linux there would be no such courses to help them. An interesting additional side-effect is that these courses have become part of their social life and they look upon them as a form of entertainment as well as a source of education.
All of their friends are using Windows. They have on occaision picked up tips from them. If they were using Linux they would have no such local peer support.
My father does work for the local national park and other environmentally active organisations. These organisations develop their own software for certain projects - erosion monitoring, biodiversity monitoring and footpath maintenance - and it is, without fail, only available to run under Windows.
The local newsagents stock a plethora of Windows orientated magazines aimed at all levels of PC user, but not a single Linux title.
The preceding line was intentionally left blank.
I told my wife: "Windows is something they torture me with at work and I'm not putting up with it here. You want Windows? That's fine but when it breaks I'm not fixing it." To her credit, she is intelligent enough to grasp the concept of things like "spyware", "EULA", "copy prevention" and be offended by them. It really wasn't a hard sell. We run Debian now.
She complained about the spams we've been getting lately so I added Spamassassin to the machine. That won a few points for me too.
Interestingly, though I meant for this argument to be pro-Linux, it looks a lot more pro-Mac. :) Linux window managers should stop emulating MS Windows so damned much. I use the command line, and the computer semi-illiterate don't know how to use MS Windows anyway.
You know, that's a really good point. I've been lusting after a mac, but just can't afford one (to the specs I would want). Currently I'm running Mandrake w/ KDE, but I'm really not completely satisfied with it. And the main reason I want a Mac is for the OS. If there was a distro (or whatever) that mimics MacOSX, I'd use it in a heartbeat.
jred
I'm not a mechanic but I play one in my garage...
October 2001, my mother asked me to build her a Linux system. I tried to talk her out of it, explaining that she'd have to re-learn how to use it. Her response? "If I can learn Windows, I can learn Linux." I explained that I wouldn't be able to fix it if it got messed up (I lived in a different state at the time). Her response to this one was, "I know it won't mess up as much as Windows does."
She got a Mandrake box for Christmas.
I mean, come on, how can someone fuck up a desktop with only a fluxbox menu showing "web browser" "word processor" "shut down computer" and "my documents" ...
;)) and perhaps some kind of im so they can reach me if online.
and of course, dyndns so i can do support with ssh if needed, browser - mozilla, openoffice for word processing (don't think i can get my parents to use TeX yet
There have been a lot of posts about how many /.er's moms ARE running GNU/Linux, but they have geeks to support them over email, telephone, and SSH. The avererage mom, or computer user for that matter, doesn't.
An idea came to me: What if GNU/Linux geeks "adopted" about five gnubies to support? They could use SSH, chat, or maybe even telephone, helping gnubies! And when the "adopted" gnubies got good enough, they would no longer need help, and might even help others. A chain reaction to help the widespread use of free software? That'd be cool.
Both of our computers work well. Of course my mother who got her computer from the Chasids down on Central Avenue has a sweet machine. I 233mhz pentium (1 or 2). Mine is a 200mhz Pentium I ordered from Gateway.
She is a way more conservative user than I am, no heavy duty web surfing, fewer greeting cards, much less pop up infested crap, fewer spam pits to dodge though she did fall into Send4Fun. I keep a three ring circus going on this machine. Still Adaware run several weeks ago revealed only a handful of cookies. I'll be running it three or four times a year. I also use web based email (I avoid Outlook like the plague) that does NOT open attachments, and I see a ton of infected mail. I run virus protection software on this machine as well. I have yet to see it detect a virus. Crap avoidance takes a pair of sharp eyes. I think my mother has those.
My mother seems even better at repelling crap than I am. Arthritis in her shoulder is partly to blame. She cacn't do heavy duty online time. She had a color printer but decided that since the black ink that was all in one cartridge with the colors used up first, to switch it only to black. Arghhhhh..... She loves doing her taxes on her machine and online banking.
I told her my machine was for fun and not for
ugly money things like this. We are so philosophically apart on how to use our machines that I would make one heck of a poor support person.
My mother's computer support came through colleagues at work when she was working and more
recently through her boyfriend and through people she meets when she volunteers to do taxes. My mother loves machines and all things practical so her computer works and is well cared for. I'm a social butterfly whose been around the block a few times so my machine is also well cared for.
I just wish my mother would learn that sometimes it's better to pay market price and get good service. She has a time limited ISP and is thinking she's getting a bargain. For a few dollars more, I told her she can get all she can eat internet and on very good backbone. In the Northeast my provider rents some of the finest lines I've ever used.
Of course my mother got all those cheap phone deals and now has four bankrupt phone companies. I am glad I didn't install anything for my mother. All we'd do is fight over support issues. Let her boyfriend handle it, and we all love our PC's. They love us back.
Now if any one can tell me how to teach a mother to learn html. My mother would be superb at it, so would my dad for that matter.
Please visit ZOID CITY Community and Community Competition http://www.zc2zc3.st
is the day i pack them off to the local Lizard Ranch (aka retirement home). I despise AOL with a passion. Between the credit card fraud they inflict on their customers (aka billing after an account is canceled), their cynical marketing of AOL as a child safe isp when in fact AOL is the one of the largest child molester in existance. Any self respecting geek should forbid family members from using AOL.
Lawyers, MBA's, RIAA? A jedi fears not these things!
It only took four calls to get that installed. And now that he has MS Flight Combat Simulator, all hope of installing Linux on my parents' overpowered machine have gone up with the proverbial blue smoke.
-Scott Hutton
Let's see. My money's on the devil.
Linux: It's not your mother's OS.
I've been buying Macs for my folks for 15 years. They never call. Must be working.
Why even do that much?
Use one of those nice temp dns services, and you just ssh to mymom.dyndns.org or something like that. Check out www.dyndns.org and see what they offer.
Set up a script on the linux box that updates the dyndns entry every time it connects, and you don't even have to ask mom to read anything off the screen. And you don't ahve to worry about your own typos when she reads the numbers out either.
This is my sig. There are many like it but this one is... Oops. Frank, I've got your sig again! Where's mine?
Because moms are female, and females tend to be tech handicapped.
They can't change tires, fix computers, repair plumbing, etc, etc...
That's the way it is.
Get used to it.
This is quite possible, especially for a pre-installed system sold through a mass-market retailer. You know what the hardware is, and add-ons will be USB or FireWire. Few users will ever open the box. That's all you really have to support in those low-end Linux boxes.
Microsoft Office.
She's a professor at a univeristy, and as such, frequently writes proposals, grants, papers, et cetera. Since the entire department uses Word for papers and Power Point for presentations, she's stuck.
I figure that i could easily switch her over to linux given the chance. I get at least 5 phone calls a week for some type of computer related problems just for windows, so any support i would have to do for linux would be more or less equivalent.
Unfortunatley, because of the lack of a really good, 100% compatable office suite for linux, I'm stuck feeding her microsoft habit.
----
One of us needs to stick ones' head in a bucket of ice water.
- Hobbes
It would definitely make remote diagnosis of problems a lot simpler. Instead of "What does it say now?" it would be "Just a second; I'll log in and check it out."
I bet there are a ton of moms running Linux. If you're a Linux mom reply to this thread!
Maybe it's because Linux is harder to use and much less useful for most people than windows.
Sig is taking a break!
Now, of course they want to hook up their digital camera and an all-in-one scanner/printer, so there could be some challenges ahead.
... one thing about Free Software is that 5 year old peripheral will still be supported, years after Microsoft has dumped all support of it on their OS).
... in fact she has come to detest her Windows box at work). She uses openoffice, mozilla, kmail, xmms, and isn't afraind to type a few commands I wrote down for her at the command line when she wants to watch a movie using mplayer.
Their scanner may or may not work, but their digital camera should be just fine. It is important that they know not to go buying hardware until they are certain it works with Linux...they wouldn't buy a Mac scanner and expect it to work with windows (indeed, they wouldn't by an older, used scanner and expect it to work with the current crop of windows XP would they
gphoto2
Also, if you find they want to hook up an ieee1394 video camera, that will work as well (ieee1384 drivers, dvgrab or, better yet, kino).
My mom is also running GNU/Linux (and loves it
Most of our parents who dealt with computers at all prior to 1995 had to contend with DOS at one time or another, so if they are made aware that the occasional criptic command is available if they need it (but not required if they prefer using a GUI), and you're willing to sit down with them, show them how it works, and write down the command they need to use, all but the illiterate of the illiterate will be fairly comfortable with that.
Add to that the lack of worms, viruses, crashes, and unpredictable, erratic behavior that so plagues microsoft platforms and you end up with a very happy camper indeed.
Being able to fix any issues in 5 minutes via an ssh link, rather than spending an hour on the phone talking them through a cranky winddows gui to fix their video (or whatever) doesn't hurt either. In fact, I haven't had a call for help in almost a year...because her system just plains works, day in and day out.
The Future of Human Evolution: Autonomy
I agree.
My mom won't use Linux. She's finally gotten a good grasp on Outlook, has loads of Actual Applications that are Windows based for the business she's in. She takes her laptop to work and docks it into her network. It all works for her.
This essay was by someone who seems to have A) a mom with a lot of free time and minimal computing requirements, and B) plenty of their own free time to babysit their mom's OS.
The thought of putting my mom on Linux is insane. Crap articles like this are truly inane, irrational, clearly the work of someone with very little insight into the real world of users and users habits.
"Would it kill you to put down the toilet seat?" -- Maya Angelou
Then they complained that they want to sleep early, so I set up an account, gave it shutdown capability and then I can ssh into the machine to shut it down. So now my mom don't even need to bother to wait for the login prompt to appear.
The better question question is:
why isn't everyone (especially your Mom!) using a Mac?
Just think if Apple replaced WinTel, the power of the hardware they'd have (economics of scale) and quality of OS (I've always wondered why is it that so many people use Windows and it's still the buggiest program in the world?)
Linux is great for servers, but what else? It sucks. Hehe coming here at Slashdot to insult Linux. It's obvious I'm from the Mac web.
But for a home PC, for internet apps and what not, nothing beats a Mac for "easy." and that seems to be all people really want!
Linux is not "easy." Windows is, until there is a problem, or the user doesn't do EXACTLY what the All-Powerful-All-Knowing M$ Wizard(TM) wants you to. So, Windows isn't easy either.
I wish more people used Macs. With BBEdit, REALBasic, Cocoa, the Terminal, the dev tools, fink, Tenon's iTools (X11 in Aqua!) and Darwin, it's got the NIX side covered, with Aqua it's got "easy" covered. The best OS in the world, right?
A good point was raised about SSHing into a PC to fix it remotely. Gee, the UNIX way. The Mac way? Apple Remote Desktop (Network Assistant in OS 9) You can still SSH and do other CLI stuff, and hey even use vi (how sad) but with OS X, *anyone* can become a power user. Including your Mom. Guaranteed she'll like that=)
> Is there a reason for them to switch to Linux, given they already have something that basically works?
Yes there is.
As you said, Linux would do what they need, and would be just as easy to use, so there is no downside.
But on the upside, Linux, and Linux applications, would:
- Protect them from viruses.
- Prevent them from breaking their own system.
- Protect them from random, unexplained breakdowns of the OS.
- Protect them from shifting, secret file formats, that could cause them to lose access to their data.
- And so on.
Plus, when they are using Linux, it provides advantages for you:
- You get fewer "something's wrong" phone calls.
- You don't have to keep reinstalling their OS.
- You don't have to keep cleaning viruses off their system.
- If they ask you to make a change, you can do it remotely, using Webmin.
- And so on.
When you come right down to it, the biggest advantage is peace of mind -- both for you and your parents.
But let's not forget all the money you'll save on future upgrades, and on not having to buy any new software to set up automated backup scripts, videoconferencing between you and your parents, and a hundred other things.
Honestly I had the same problem, and some of my friends & family member too. Those who don't know jack on PC are fine off with Linux *pre-instaleld* on their PC. As long as everything is shut down correctly and they only use their app everything is fine.
The Problem comes when a moderate user updating its driver, changing its hardware, adding printer/networking stuff/changing ISP, adding applications. The learning curve is too high and the problem resolution stuff is far too complicated.
And since there seems to be a lot of "sons" which are moderate user and not "power-linux-geek-it-programmer", they won't install Linux on their mom computer either...
C. Sagan : A demon haunted world:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0345409469/
visit randi.org
She happens to like VMS...especially the versioning features
---
"Ignorance is not OK, folks.".
;)) drive it.
Ignorance is OK because of different domain of competence. I can't make a car out of piece, I can't repair it, but I can ("barely"
People can use computer, only when it boils down to find solution to problems they have difficulty. That is what I call the "lowest common denominator".
The moms above mentionend would have AS MUCH problem finding SOLUTION to technical difficulties with Linux, Mac or Windows. Even more to Linux because if their Son is not tech savy, they are out of luck. (did you try recently to browse in howtos to find a solution?).
There is a difference between being Tech-savy and knowing a lot of the innard of your system, and being "tech savy" but in reality only knowing how to "drive your pc" and install new driver, new application. Most people belong to the second category. And this is fine because its not their job to know how their PC function. Their job is only to drive them.
C. Sagan : A demon haunted world:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0345409469/
visit randi.org
"Why Linux isn't ready for the desktop" by Ilan Volow
Case in point:
I was at a restaurant with some of my lug members. I won't name names, the city, or any specifics (so I don't have to pay the price of my criticism at next week's meeting). In my home town, there is a very, very big linux distribution company. Everyone has heard of its distribution and many, many people use it. There are a number of programmers who work at this company who are also lug members, and at the restaurant, I got into a discussion with one of them about the distribution's installer and why I thought its UI was so poorly designed (after the conversation, I found out he wrote most of it. Boy, I felt stupid). Now, this installer is revered by many to be easy enough for your grandmother to use, but I counted a good 15 or 20 usability errors.
As a little bit of background, I as studying to be a UI designer (and a damned good one at that). I can give you the professional opinion that many of these errors involve simple, "duh" kind of stuff. The problems were things like ambiguously labeled check boxes and radio buttons. Or widgets laid out in ways that users do not naturally progress in. In some of the worst cases, the widget layout conveyed information so badly that it could confuse a user into not being able to start up in X (very important for newbies and secretaries). The most annoying error was a modal dialog that obscured information outside the dialog that was pertinant to making choices inside the dialog. The only way to refer to the information outside the dialog was to close the dialog, look at the information, and then re-enter it. All these problems are things that would be easy to change (just modifying/adding 300 lines of code at max). And making these changes would not involve creating stupid talking paperclip avatars or wizards that insult the intelligence of power-users and inhibit their progress. Making these changes would simply add greater clarity to performing the procedures involved in installation, and would allow both power user and grandma to navigate more efficiently and effectively. Real Ease-Of-Use (as opposed to Microsoft Ease-of-Use) is not about wiping the user's ass, it's about not kicking it. But despite the ease of changing the UI code and the benefits it would bring, I seriously doubt this linux distribution company will ever see these problems as problems and make the necessary changes. And I'm certain the programmer I talked to probably wouldn't, either. And probably no one in the linux community will step forward and make the changes, since they all think this distribution's installer is the greatest thing since sliced bread just because it's graphical. And because they can use their linux expertise to get around the most confusing parts of this installer's UI.
Back to my conversation with the guy who wrote the installer, when I mentioned several of the problems I listed above, he still couldn't understand what was wrong with it. "You don't think it's pretty enough?" he asked. I think that moment, more than anything else, defines why Linux just isn't making as much progress on the desktop as it should be.
Ergonomica Auctorita Illico!
Now one could ask oneself, what would such a story read like with a Mom-compatible Unix rather than something lacking fit, finish and finesse?
care to offer a solution instead of being a dick, fuckface? Hello?!!!? Linux is and experimental and educational operating system?? I can't continue. I am not worthy of your genius.
I'd say Linux is perfect for moms. Why?
./configure && make install.
/, but I doubt they will even try).
1. You can setup a Linux installation for them. They don't have to install it themselves. Remove all icons and put a few icons on the desktop/panel. That's all they'll use.
2. Moms and dads (and grandmothers) don't install software. They just use what's installed already. So they won't get in trouble with RPMs and
3. The permissions ensure that they can't mess with the system, so the computer will never break (unless they find out how to use the root password to get into a console and do rm -Rf
All the common "Linux is not ready for the desktop"-arguments do not apply here. Mom doesn't use the Control Panel, she doesn't care about the resolution, she doesn't install software, etc.
I put my parents behind Linux. All they do is browse the Internet anyway. So I made a password-less account for them and when they doubleclick on their icon in gdm, Galeon and sawfish launch automatically. If I put them in Windows, they will get confused by the start menu and the icons on the desktop and the tray.
"I'm surprised noone as modded you as "troll" yet."
He wasn't modded down as troll because he's right. Why would she install RPMs? Why WOULDN'T she? Face it, you build your mom a Linux box, and she's stuck with whatever you gave her. She cannot go to the store and buy new apps. At best she could get them on-line. So either she learns how to do RPM's, or she doesn't add anything to her computer.
Haven't you noticed all the times people have to use the phrase "All she really needs..." in order to explain their ability to use Linux as her OS? Don't you see a problem with that?
Maybe her computer is Ok after all (at least, no more broken that usually). Maybe she just doesn't see you often enough and just found this cool pretext to phone you regularly and hear your voice. You asocial geek, turn off your computer and go visit your relatives, somtimes.
The only thing holding Linux back from taking the desktop is GNOME. By GNOME (and their developers) refusing to put their support behind KDE, the become a ball and chain on the leg of progress.
The race is over. Its time to give up, and stop bickering over it. For the good of the platform, just give up pushing GNOME, and put your support behind KDE. Nobody is saying you have to give up GTK. GTK is a great toolkit...Just write your GTK apps to behave nicely with KDE, and conform to their desktop. That way, we dont have a "KDE Desktop" or a "GNOME desktop" anymore. We just have a _Linux_ desktop.
Competition sucks. A rabid distaste competition is what gave birth to Linux in the first place.
Cheers,
Bowie J. Poag
I gave my parents a friend's old Pentium for a Xmas present in 2000, as my Mum had several times asked my what this Internet and Email things were about (we have relatives in India and the US and my parents like to travel a lot by camper throughout Europe, there are lots of good resources on the on the Web naturally). :-/ Then they let it just sit there for abaout half a year and I thought, well, experiment failed. Then, in May '01, my parents visited a computer course for senior citizens at a local school. Amazingly my Mom got very fast the hang of it (she said after the second course day "Well, it's not THAT difficult and that guy (the teacher) doesn't have a real clue anyway, so we'll just go on by ourselves !" :-) ) and has been happily surfing the Web, emailing and writing stuff on the computer since then.
The first thing they did was buy a cover, so that it couldn't get dusty.
I considered several times putting Linux on her machine, especially as it is as said an old, slow Pentium running Win95. But in the end I decided to leave her the '95. Reason ? She enjoys using multimedia stuff she sometimes gets from the local library or on the Web like Web postcards and the like, and as she is surfing the Web a lot she constantly encounters Web sites not very usable without IE. I don't think she would appreciate it very much if the stuff she gets from the library won't run any more (because it's Linux), her Web pages look funny or don't work (because it's Linux) etc.pp. (I think you get the idea).
I can only applaude the several posters that said before that people like our parents usually use their computer not for it's own sake like a lot of us do but as a tool. This even more applies in my experience to our parents than to not very computer literate friends of our own age.
You really don't want to have to explain 'Enter root password' and ask which device is the problem after a power failure (yes, it's not hard, but it gives a bad impression).
I dont ever want to see debug/status text on by default.
is -debug so hard?
.... but only because she runs FreeBSD.
:)
She's retired, but it has to be said that she isn't running BSD because of me - she chose and installed it herself... she used to be a *nix systems admin
Apple truly does make their machines and OS extremely easy to use for a beginner. An OSX user never has to see the console or a command line. The hardware is of generally very good quality (my old powertbook has been running for three years now without one problem ever.).
Stupid
And how hard is that? Fire up red-carpet, click subscribe on the channel you want, mark the software she wants and click install...
Or download it and double-click on the rpm (your dist should have a gui rpm handler installed).
It's not harder than windows. Unless you make it so.
My Mum plays Frozen Bubble and a bunch of card games under Linux Mandrake 8.2 every night after work. She loves the cool games and the reliability of Linux - our computer locks up all the time under Windows XP but never under Linux.
my mom can barely type on the keyboard and hit the print button with accidently getting out of her element (getting mixed with different windows, accidently changing the font/size of text). The littlest things can scare moms and your asking them to abandon all and try a different OS. If virtual memory is that much of a problem then please mom by throwing in an extra 128megs and telling her to hit the reset button. Trust me, thats the option that should be taken.
If only we could get mozilla working we could switch our moms over to ps2 linux.
It's cheap, it fits in their living rooms (mine keeps complaining about the grey box) and with Linux it's up to the task of checking mail and surfing the web. Let's equip this baby with a usb-printer and we're set...;-) If only...
cu,
Lispy
Never ever show Gentoo/Slackware/Debian to your family and tell them "That's Linux".
.deb files for download, but then you'll still be stuck with the dependancy problem.
From their point of view (it's very important to try to see things from their point of view), that 'Linux' thing is like Windows: one single thing, set in stone. It is not obvious to them that there as many kinds of Linux as there are types of needs to fulfill.
If you're gonna evangelize your family, FIRST tell them that your Linux is geeky because you wanted it so, but that if you were to install them a Linux of their own on their computer, you'd choose an easy-to-use version. Success stories with, say, Mandrake, abound: I switched my girlfriend from Windows to Mandrake and she's very happy with it.
Do NOT try to convince them to use your Slackware/Gentoo/Debian. You'll scare them off.
On the other hand, it can go a long way if you make them an account on your machine, add plenty of links on the desktop so that they never have so see a command-line, and then let them play around with KDE, PySol (a *great* solitaire game that many moms seem to love), Konqueror (or Mozilla, or Opera), Open Office, etc. It also helps to use the Redmond theme at the beginning, so that they feel 'at home'. Also be sure to tell them that the system is secure, and they CAN'T mess it up even if they tried to. You can even try to explain them the concept of privilege separation, if you feel able to put it in simple words.
It worked pretty fine for me. My family knows that 1) my computer is geeky because I wanted it so, but Linux is much more versatile than that; 2) The desktop (KDE) is pretty fine and sleek, and easy to use; and 3) There are lotsa nice apps.
Result: my dad is gonna get a new computer soon, and he told me he wants to remove the mandatory preinstalled XP, and put a 98 (that's what he's used to) AND a Linux.
This said, there's still a major usability issue with Linux, the way I see it: there's still no easy way to install new software. When my girlfriend wanted to install the Psi instant manager, I couldn't get her to install it herself. It was too complicated to hunt for the right lib RPMs and everything.
We must design a non-centralized, click-and-install way to package Linux software. And no, RPM doesn't cut it: if you try to install some stuff that wasn't packaged for your distro, or you don't have the right lib installed, or whatever, it'll often fail. Portage and apt-get don't cut it either: they're centralized things, and there's thus no easy way for the amateur software developper to, say, offer his software for download on his Web page. Well, you can put
I've started working on it, but it's an extremely tricky problem, because, due to the nature of Linux, we can make no assumption about what libs are installed. Anyone wants to contribute ideas?
-- B.
This sig does in fact not have the property it claims not to have.
I've installed both MS-Windows (3.x, 9x, NT and 2k), some of them multiple times and on multiple different boxes, and I've installed various versions of Linux on different boxes. Personally, MS-Win has given me every bit as much grief as has Linux. Sometimes more. The only thing, and this is a biggie, that has consistently given me more trouble, much more trouble, on Linux than MS-Win is getting X going. That really needs to be fixed.
I'll also concede that installing new apps after-the-fact is easier for the non-techie on MS-Win than on Linux. Unless, of course, something goes wrong and trashes MS-Win's registry. Then you're really hosed. And it does happen.
Personally, if mom were going to be a new user, I think I'd tend to lead her to a Mac. Depending on what she wanted to do: maybe Linux second.
My mom didn't install Linux. She wouldn't be able to do it. And she didn't install Windows either.She wouldn't be able to do it.
Because I'm the neighborhood's computer guy, I get plenty of pleas for help with people's computers when they 'break'. Guess what? They're all running Windows, and people are still stuck when it doesn't work. Heck, once I had to install a printer for a friend of my father's, which was as easy as: 1) plug it in the USB port; 2) it's done, it works. And yet the guy wouldn't do it himself.
Now, don't take me wrong: there are several serious usability problems with Linux (mainly: X is a bitch to configure, and there's no simple click-and-install software installation system -- see my other post about this). But for someone who wouldn't try to install software or change the configuration (which means, for the most clueless users), Linux does work pretty fine.
-- B.
This sig does in fact not have the property it claims not to have.
There is no way that anyone with the computing skills of your mom (i.e., none) can hope to get Linux into a state where they can do anything they consider useful with it.
But she could get Windows to such a state?
Repeat after me:
Normal people do not install operating systems.
Normal people do not install operating systems.
Normal people do not install operating systems.
Computer people set all this stuff up either at a OEM vendor's lab or at the user's home, and they make sure that normal people don't have to do anything but turn on the power. That's how it's done with Windows, that's how it done with Mac, that's how it done with the ATM at the bank, and that's how it has to be done with Linux.
Talking about normal people setting up their own computers is pointless, because they don't do it any more than they do a brake job on their car. They simply use the thing and call an expert when anything complex needs to be done. I've received enough of these calls to know.
There may be reasons that out-of-the-box Linux distros are not ready for prime time, but this is not one of them.
Very true post. The original article was so one-sided it's ridiculous. Linux is complicated. That's a fact. And another very important detail no one seems to remember is that linux has no tech support, unlike windows. Instead of buying $70 on a new hard drive, how about buying some tech support from red hat or whatever? And all this "mom" stuff is a bit sexist, in my mind.
Read the headers, and log in. The other way is to try to guess the IP number. Most dial-ups have a pool of numbers that are assigned based on the POP they dial into. Finger her login at those numbers till you find the right one. It doesn't take that long. When I want to talk to my parents on the phone and their line is busy, I log in to there machine, shutdown PPP, and make my call.
Ugh.
If anyone has any suggestions please please post. I have found some info on he problem I'm receiving with ISCAN "Can not send comand to scanner", but have been unable to resolve. The scanner shows up on USB bus.
Kind Regards
"A few great minds are enough to endow humanity with monstrous power, but a few great hearts are not enough to make us w
At least one, although my story hasn't been posted yet.
=)
-B
She couldn't understand winshit, so I installed icewm(the computer only has 40mb of ram), and basic software. She has had no trouble with it.
:).
Whenever it needs a new program, I can fix it remotely through ssh(the second most important program, IMHO, for internet communication, just behind telnet
Linux, like UNIX, was designed to be easy for the casual user, and powerfull for the advanced one.
NOW WTF CAN'T I RUN ZSH AS ROOT IN OPENBSD!?
You can't judge a book by the way it wears its hair.
My mom runs Solaris.
Windows XP has a very cool thing called 'Remote Assistance', which is quite VNC-like. Using such a system you could go through the problem with your Mum/Dad/Brother/Sister/Son/Daughter/Friend on their screen while they watch - and it includes built-in voice communication so you can talk them through it while you do it, if they're using the internet on their only landline.
No need to go anywhere.
rmdir ~/Desktop/Trash
It's quick and dirty, and the folder (and hence the icon) will be recreated every time you start KDE.
As I don't put any icons on my desktop, I also did 'chmod ug-w ~/Desktop' to keep things the way I want them.
Board games [link to monopd and Atlantik] under Linux work
But because they're not Hasbro brand, they can't use the exact copyrighted look of the Hasbro boards. For instance, Hasbro may be able to win a lawsuit against somebody who uses the exact layout of the shortcuts on the Candy Land board or on the Chutes and Ladders board in a free clone.
Unfortunately, you live with a brandist. Brandists are people who claim that anything that doesn't carry the original brand must be inferior. As cuyler wrote in this comment: "And the final note, whatever scrabble game you'd find for linux might the the most amazing thing in the world but it's missing one thing. It's not Hoyle. It doesn't matter."
Will I retire or break 10K?
Mom's using Linux? When are you people going to get it through your thick skulls that LINUX IS JUST NOT FOR REGULAR DESKTOP USERS.
Dear God! just give it up already!
My parents are both using FreeBSD. My mom mostly plays games on the very old (dual) Pentium-100MHz. Vanilla X11 with twm and the Netscape-4.x are great.
My father is using Applix' Office suit on his old (dual) PentiumII-200MHz...
He also listens to a few European radio station, which broadcast in Ukrainian and Russian over the Internet (BBC, Radio Liberty, Doiche Welle (surely missspelled, sorry, German readers)) using the Linux version of RealPlayer. Netscape-4 and Konqueror are his web-browsers...
In Soviet Washington the swamp drains you.
She loves having the ability to run apache for my little brothers soccer team's web site. She also likes being able to send mail to her friends in her bridge club. Thelma flamed her for using pine, but then she switched to mutt and all is OK.
But even Mom has problems from time to time. Once this perl script she wrote to send her friends on her mailing list an email every time she added a new cookie recipie(formatted with LaTex BTW) got out of hand spawning new processes, so she called some real guns: my grandma.
"Normally I would have told you to RTFM", my grandma told her, "but grandpa was feeling frisky this morning, so I'm in a good mood. Here's what you do:
"First, you want to make a file containing a list of all those rogue processes. I normally do something like this:
ps -ef | grep cookierecipe | awk `{print $2}` > killfile
"Now that you've got your list, you simply loop through them in bash and kill each one. Whatdya mean, you don't know how to loop in bash?!! Sigh
for $pid in $(cut -fl -d:/home/mom/killfile; do kill $pid done
"Simple as that"
And, with that, my grandma went back to her knitting, and mom happily got her new cookie recipe out.
No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?
Now for my mom, she doesn't know how to fix her car and she should not have to. She bought it to drive from A to B, not to tinker with the stuff under the hood. Sure, some technical knowledge is good (tape up a leaking hose, to make it to the garage etc.) but it's not mandatory to drive a car. In my opinion it means exactly that. Any one person can not be an expert in all possible areas. Why should expertise in "computers"/Linux/BSD/whatever be mandatory? I'm all for some basic knowledge, to be able to make informed decisions. But that does not justify the amount of time needed to get familiar with any of the free Unix-clones.
So, if I'd buy a computer for my mom, it'd probably be a mac. Because it just does what it's supposed to do (or so I'm told).
what would such a story read like with a Mom-compatible Unix [link to Mac OS X] rather than something lacking fit, finish and finesse?
There would be a difference, and it would be about four hundred U.S. dollars. A low end PC with Windows XP Home Edition installed costs $700, while a low end Macintosh computer with Mac OS X 10.1.x installed costs $1100 (eMac base model). Many families cannot financially justify such a difference.
Will I retire or break 10K?
The above should be modded up to +5 Hooray!
because she doesn't have a computer.
...because you will just hear her say:
.sxw file...?"
... at least those are a few reasons why I don't use Linux.
"Why can't my friend Janis open that document I sent her, she says it's an
"Why don't I have root priveleges?"
"Where did I put that file?"
"What's usr (pub, dev, mnt, etc.)?"
"It said I just needed to double-click on that RPM file; where is it now?"
"So first I type './configure,' and then I type 'make'... or is it 'install' and then... Why can't I just double-click it?"
Firstly, it should not take 2 competent computer literate (not to mention highly knowledgable) guys to install and configure a Linux box. The time it took us would have paid for Win2k in loss in income only.
Ignoring this, we forged ahead to do the "right thing". We got email and dial-up working with effort. (Next time this will be easier... the docs were misleading and out of date - I will not go into detail, it's besides the point)
It was all on a newly purchased PC, thus the hardware was pretty well supported.
Now after 2 weeks of harrowing use, we wiped Linux and installed Win2k.
Firstly I would like to state that it was not Linux at fault... RH7.3 was a pretty good installation. The problem was that the most important sites needing to be visited were IE specific... Netscape 6 did not work, neither did Mozilla, Konquerer, Opera etc.
It's a sad story... but it's true... IE is killing Linux. Where Games, Windows2000, MS Office has failed, IE will triumph.
-sigh-
don't tell me we're gonna start seeing some "your momma's so fat, she uses Windows cuz it's more bloated than her"
:-)
Quck and easy way to locate all the linux-geeks in the room
Geeks, My mom is actually using Linux because I'm living in a different country. So she didn't want the machine to crash and to get a new virus. So install linux a month before i went out home, and after that everything is running perfect.
Is just a problem of customization and previous analysis.-
Cheers!!!
My mother's running Linux via the NIC padded cell system.
It works reasonably well; the hardware is trailing edge, but you don't need blazing chips to run a web browser...
What you've said here is very interesting. Why can't we have a list of dependancies that is used by a, something like gnutella, client that searches the web for the missing libraries, and installs them, recursively ofcourse.
This would be a great boon, if all the developers needed to do was create a dependancy list, and then the client would use this list to determine if the computer has the needed files and if not search a p2p network for what is needed. Once everything that was needed had been gathered the program could be installed.
To get into what I'm thinking I want you to pull out your inner newbe.
Now you think newbies want user friendly GUI systems?
Really?
What is "user friendly" to a newbie? what is "gui" to a newbie?
They are "Complex computer words like mouse keyboard and on switch"
What do newbies want?
They want a computer to go on the Internet with. They want e-mail.
Go into a computer store. Your a newbie.. what do you see?
You see Macs and PCs. No not Windows just Macs and PCs.
Look at the Macs. pritty Macs. Wow. But those pritty Macs are expensive aren't they. Thats a lot of money for a pritty computer.
Your a newbie what do you know of processing power or capabilitys. It's a pritty computer with a big price tag nothing more.
Look at the PCs. Well some are really expensive some are really cheap. But they all seem ok. Some pritty. Some pritty and cheap.
Now a salesmen walks up...
"Why are those so much more expensive?"
"Those are faster store more information and have more memory so your documents can be bigger."
"Wow" Now your getting an idea of what power is. But your already looking at the PCs.. the Macs no longer exist to you.
"But you can always upgrade later.. add memory, bigger hard disk etc"
Ok your transfixed on the cheapest.
"What is Windows?"
Your not going to go away not noticing the big Microsoft Windows logo plastered on the screen.
"Thats the software than runs the computer.
It's very populare and runs all your favoret games and business programms."
Notice not a single mention of "user friendly".
Some times the salesman says "The most populare" but usually they sink back with "a very populare"
But he dosen't mean populare in the same way the user expects.
"Populare" has become market speak for "monopoly".
But the rest of the world expects the majority of it's users to be happy with the product.
If you lissen to tech support and avrage user complaints you'll know thats just not the case.
Can you spot the other misleading half truth?
How about "all your favoret software" not "All the software you need"
or "All they software you'll ever want" but "All your favroet"
your a newbie at this moment in time you have no favoret software so saying a pocket calcuator runs all your favoret software is true..
it runs none at all and thats exactly how much software is your favoret.
You won't have a favoret untill AFTER you get a computer.
So your sold... he asks you some basic questions and helps you get the best computer for your needs.. well the best PC for your needs.
Horray you have a PC.
Think about this. Linux runs mostly on PCs. when we pick a computer to run Linux it's always a PC. Why? Macs and Sun Sparcs are suppereor.
So what are we doing with PCs for servers desktops and game boxes?
Simple... PCs are the best price for the money. Piriod.
My idea of how to really move Linux into the consummer market is to make a new computer system.
We've already proven Linux runs nearly anyplace so now just design a whole new consummer platform system.
First issue is cost over speed. Use the Amiga method. Use co-processors for everything so the computers CPU isn't loaded down with junk.
But go with a CPU that runs on the very low end and very high end.
I'd say Intel but my best suggestion would be to work with Transmeta and IBM to build a new processor for the task.
One that has an ultra low end version to ultra high end version. The low end is the cheapest and the first released.
Open the basic system (Not the CPU) for commertal reproduction.
The CPU and chips are all closed but can be obtainned from IBM or Transmeta partners.
The key of the low end version is also cheaper memory chips.
Build it ground up to be both expandable and user friendly. So I'd say use a cartrage method of adding cards.
Slots in the back and you slide the cards in like cartrages but not when the computer is on..
maybe a safty bar can lock in place when the computer is on to protect the cards from being added or removed.
User friendly interface is a MUST design the hardware with that in mind.
Maybe set it so each card has driver binaries on a rom chip so the card will work automaticly.
BUT... have drivers in the Linux kernel for additional preformence for the expert users.
The preinstalled Linux should have a GUI. The system should have a built in CD rom drive or DVD drive.
It should include a CD or DVD collection of free Linux software for users to install.
It should include a directory of known Linux User Groups offering free trainning.
It should include a self playing CD with a video on it "How to set up your Linux computer"
Just pop the CD and it boots the Linux on the disk and automaticly drops to a secured user account to play a video about how to set things up.
This will solve the problem of not being able to buy new hardware...
While users usually don't buy new hardware anyway becouse it's so hard to install they can at least be sure it works with Windows or Mac Os.
But not Linux.
With a specalised Linux platform they user can buy hardware for that system and know it will work on Linux.
Ferther if the user dosen't have to open the box it's even easier to upgrade than Windows PCs.
Also you'll have to go bribing companys to port software to Linux at first.
To make sure drivers exist you'll also need to put together a "Linux Box" logo program.
Say you name your system "TuxiCom" then you'll have a "TuxiCom certification program" certifying software
and hardware conforms to the TuxiCom standards and can have the TuxiCom sticker.
For hardware you want an open source version of the driver as well as a working binary on rom.
For software you just want to be sure it dosen't do anything dangerous or stupid.
I don't actually exist.
Thank you very much.
/. ...
Yes Mom, you can carry on reading
IANAL but write like a drunk one.