Telstar 4 is Down

An anonymous reader writes "Sometime this morning (Sept. 19) Telstar 4 had a major onboard failure. I just checked a few minutes ago and there are CW carriers up on 11700 MHz V & 12200 MHz H, so the spacecraft would appear to still be in its orbital slot - just no traffic. The Loral Skynet site has no mention of this yet, but supposedly Telstar 8 was already scheduled to replace T4, so they may just speed the process up. This turn of events will no doubt be of some small concern to Intelsat, who recently agreed to purchase most of Loral's US domestic fleet, including T4."

Comments

fp

[Anonymous Coward]

www.fp

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Telstar 4 ?

[Anonymous Coward]

Onboard failure, must be running Linux

Re:Telstar 4 ?

[Anonymous Coward]

Er, did I say Linux? I meat, it must be running XP. Damn, I forgot which site I was on...sorry.

I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[linuxbaby]

My girlfriend always told me that when I talk tech with fellow tech-heads I make no sense at all.

"It's hard for me to believe it's even English you're speaking. I don't recognize any of the words."

Reading this Slashdot post just made me understand what she means.

It's like a bad sci-fi screenplay!

(Telstar? CW carriers? 11700 MHz V & 12200 MHz H? orbital slot? Intelsat? Loral's US domestic fleet?)

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Ken Broadfoot]

Good god, you are right about this..

"The Loral Skynet site has no mention of this yet, but supposedly Telstar 8 was already scheduled to replace T4"

IMHO: WTF?

--ken

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[skitz0]

It means if you like to watch satalite porn youre gonna be SOL until they can xfer the signal.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Lando Griffin]

Well, once she finishes elementary school, I'm sure her vocabulary will pick up.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Merk]

I think it's a satellite.

Either that or an old TV show.

Or maybe the aliens are invading.

Now I wonder if this story was accepted because a) it sounded real tech-like, b) the person who accepted knows what the submitter is talking about, c) the random number generator was less than 0.01, d) Cowboy Neal.

But one thing's for sure, as it stands, the story has yet to answer the all-important questions: "How does this affect me, and why should I care?"

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[slasher999]

I didn't find that difficult to comprehend, although not being a sat fan I didn't necessarily understand everything. I guess being a ham has some value - in understanding Slashdot posts!

DE KC2KTH

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

My girlfriend always told me that when I talk tech with fellow tech-heads I make no sense at all.


Given the past tense, I am assuming she left you for the article submitter who is apparently even more of a pathetic slobbering geek than you were? Truly the submitter is the alpha male of slobbering geeks!

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

"I didn't find that difficult to comprehend, although not being a sat fan I didn't necessarily understand everything. I guess being a ham has some value - in understanding Slashdot posts!" Same here. As a ham, I had no problems understanding it. A rough translation is this: The satellite is currently still in orbit because he's still able to receive the morse code beacon being transmitted by the satellite, which tells the operators on the ground important information about the satellite.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm not a satellite geek, but you'd think every well rounded person would know ...

Telstar = satellite
CW = carrier wave
117000 MHz etc = frequencies
orbital slot = where Telstart lives. In orbit. You know ... up there?

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

> IMHO: WTF?

IMHO: Google is your friend.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[cleveland61]

check out Telstar 6, channels 1, 7 and 14.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[drwho]

Yeah? well then you have no business reading about electronics and communications. Stop your bitching and read up, this is actually pretty elementary. CW means continuous wave, which sometimes means morse code. Satellites wear out. So they send up new ones. Loral is a big satellite company, telstar is a series of satellites.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[El]

Isn't "CW carrier" redundant?

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

"It's hard for me to believe it's even English you're speaking. I don't recognize any of the words."

The nice thing about the web, though, is these things called hyperlinks.

Okay, so there's no link to a site called "What is Telstar 4 (for dummies)", but I think there's enough info there for you to figure it out. :)

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

The satellite is currently still in orbit because he's still able to receive the morse code beacon being transmitted by the satellite, which tells the operators on the ground important information about the satellite.

What satellite? Why wouldn't it be in orbit? (in fact if it wasn't in orbit it wouldn't be a satellite, now would it?) Why would anyone care whether it's in orbit?

Your post provides minimal clarification. I still have no idea what the story is, except that it apparently about a satellite which is still in orbit.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Waffle Iron]

It's like a bad sci-fi screenplay!

It was a typical Friday at Telstar control: slow. McMurray was at the main console. He was idly thinking about which sandwiches he was going to pick up at Subway on the way home for the family.

Suddenly, an alarm light flashed. McMurray looked at the status screen, and it took a moment to sink in. Telstar 4 had just gone down. "Strange", he thought. "I've never seen a bird go offline just like that."

He punched a few commands to try to contact the satellite, but got no response. He muttered under his breath "It's going to be a long night."

Ok, first things first. He e-mailed his wife to tell her he'd wouldn't be getting dinner after all. He fired off an anonymous story submission about the situation to Slashdot.

At this point, it still looked like a simple electronic failure. There was no hint of impending disaster; no indication of what might happen to the planet in a few short hours. Nobody on earth noticed the tiny deep violet pinpoint that was just now becoming detectable over the northern rim of the full moon. A few bored geeks on Slashdot posted some lame jokes about the Telstar 4 story.

McMurray was just about to reroute the command channel to the eastern uplink station when the entire control center suddenly went black. He sat in stunned silence for a few seconds, then the shockwave hit...

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Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[deglr6328]

CW can also mean "continuous wave" such as when youre talking about lasers that aren't pulsed (eg. a laser pointer is CW)

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Read Icculus]

Inference and deduction are your friends. I had no idea what they were talking about at first, as I have no knowledge of satellite stuff at all beyond common knowledge, but I actually thought for a second or two. Loral Skynet site - Hmmm Skynet site that mentions what satellites are doing and stuff. I imagine that they are some sort of satellite info site. "Telstar 8 was... scheduled to replace T4" - Telstar 8 is obviously a satellite. T4 no doubt means Telstar 4. WTF is so hard to understand about that sentence if you read the submitted paragraph?

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

Looks like someone didn't take their humour pill this morning.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Bull999999]

"Stop your bitching and read up,"

Do you really expect slashdotters to do some research before posting?

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Ignominious Cow Herd]

You forgot "Where shall we have lunch?"

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[wfberg]

"It's hard for me to believe it's even English you're speaking. I don't recognize any of the words."

Reading this Slashdot post just made me understand what she means.

Telstart 4 heeft vanmorgen (19 september) een interne storing gehad. Ik heb het een paar minuten geleden gecontroleerd, en er zijn nog draaggolven op 11.7Ghz verticaal en 12.1 Ghz horizontaal, dus de satelliet hangt nog in zijn baan om de aarde, alleen er is geen signaal te bekennen. Op de webpagina's van Loral Skynet staat nog geen aankondiging, maar Telstar 4 stond toch al op de nominatie om vervangen te worden door Telstar 8, dus misschien versnellen ze die uitrol. Intelsat zal zich dit nieuws zeker aantrekken, aangezien ze laatst overeengekomen met Loral om het grootste deel van hun satellieten die boven de VS hangen over te nemen, waaronder deze.

Is that better?

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

Let me get this straight, you're a techie, and you have a girlfriend? Not only that but after listening to you talk tech, she still is with you?

You liar!

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[drwho]

Looks like someone didn't take their humour pill this morning. Humor pills are illegal in the US.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[kdart]

Oh, no, no, no! Skynet is the uber-AI network that is plotting the demise of humanity! Telstar 8 is a pre-cursor of the Terminator series, and the T4 is the new, latest, Terminator class to replace it.

Got it? ;-)

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[golo]

You're right, and the term is used in SATCOM in that sense too since many multiple access schemes use burst transmissions. So if you want to troubleshoot on of those (the RF part at least) you'd want to transmit a Continuos unmodulated signal (or Wave). It's easier to locate in a spectrum analyzer than a 100 milliseconds long burst

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

So insteed ov coemplanen en wijnen abuit de articol, djust zitten baacken en watchen de blinkenlijts.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[aardvarkjoe]

[ To read the rest of this bad screenplay, you must have a premium membership. Log on now to continue. ]

For this, subscribing to slashdot might almost be worthwhile.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[SYFer]

Actually, the good people at Loral provide a handy and informative glossary on their site. Note also that this glossary has been hacked by one "GUL7" (see first entry). heh. That poster's girlfreind was right.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[AchmedHabib]

no no no, it's the latest remix of the song Telstar.
...I think.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[XmineR]

people who say "CW carrier" are probably the same people who say "NIC card", yes it's redundant.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[InadequateCamel]

I can't believe someone modded this up.

I'm pretty sure he understood the story, pal. I agree with him; it does sound like a bad sci-fi movie, and my girlfriend would definitely start to ignore me if I started talking like that.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[El]

Irony: Moderating a post as "Redundant" for pointing out that something is redundant. Too bad we can't metamoderate that moderation as "Funny"!

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[tuba_dude]

But you're Dr Who! What the hell does the US have to do with you?

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[SailorFrag]

[ To read the rest of this bad screenplay, you must have a premium membership. Log on now to continue. ]

Hey! I just bought one, but it still won't let me see it!

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

That's what editors are for.
Oh wait...this is Slashdot...

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[ScrewMaster]

I mean, come on, really ... "Skynet"? Talk about a sci-fi screen play.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

Set SLE to AUX. That should take care of it. Next!

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

Ken-

Your lack of understanding is caused by the fact that you should stick to sites like CNN and CNET and leave slashdot for the true nerds. The hacker culture has long been heavily influenced by communication technologies. While I myself have not taken the time to become a ham, I have at least a minimal understanding of communication technology. You see Ken, you should NOT be reading slashdot, you can't handle it. You SHOULD have turned to google to educate yourself BEFORE posting such an ignorant bit of drivel. Hell, you might even fancy yourself a nerd, but you aren't. You are probably running windows right now, aren't you? We know you don't belong here, why don't you? In the slashdot world you ride the short bus, despite whatever your "girlfriend" thinks. Why don't you raise the collective intelligence of slashdot but NOT posting or reading here, you are on the bottom of the bell curve.

Now I am going back to working on my home Myrinet cluster...

Sincerely,
A Real Nerd

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[LinuxHam]

CW = carrier wave

Sorry, "continuous wave". Read the nick. :)

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[terrymr]

I think the author should have said they're getting carrier from the satellite not CW. Unless the Sat pulled out it's morse key to call home :-)

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[cehbab]

sucker ;)

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

As if slashdotters have girl friends ;)

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

Youc ould be at the "bottom of the bell curve" by either being below or ABOVE the mean. You should have sticked to "Bottome of the scale"

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

It's SCE to Aux. SLE to Aux makes the thing blow up...

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[torpor]

For this, subscribing to slashdot might almost be worthwhile.

Why bother? He published the source to the first version, we'll just fork it:


He sat in stunned silence for a few seconds, then the shockwave hit... ... his pants fom the egg-salad sandwich he'd forgotten he'd scoffed on the toilet the afternoon before. A typical Thursday (or Tuesday, for that matter).

Looking around the room, satellite losses and alien invasion fantasies suddenly violently forgotten, McWassename spied the only possible option for the diversion of his ...


ah, whatever. You get the point...

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

"OBO - Out put back off is the amount of power below saturatuion."

well... still feeling st00pid :)

or maybe this GUL7 did more than just add..

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

More like..

"Sincerely,
A Pompous Ass
XXXOOO"

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[e.colli]

I'm getting more and more confused! I don't understood the text and now, there are an slashdotter with girlfriend?

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[LinuxHam]

All told, I think "CW beacon" would have been the best choice. Many/most/all(?) satellites do transmit a CW identifier for a number of purposes, including the one the author used it for. He listened for the "I am alive" morse code transmission from the sat and heard it. So the sat didn't explode or unexpectedly fire its repositioning jets and move out of its assigned orbital slot.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[roady]

Many people used to tell me exactly the same.

I didn't understand what they were talking about until I happened to live with a guy studying at medical school and he invited fellow students at our dorm.

I could not understand any single sentence.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

Voor diegene die dit nog niet kunnen volgen:

Telstar 4: Een TV sataliet (Afbeelding hier maar de echte slashdotter kan hem in het echt zien zolang je maar weet Waar en waneer)

"CW carriers up on 11700 MHz V & 12200 MHz H": Een CW carrier is niet zomaar een draaggolf, het is een draagolf met een morsecode er op! (foei mister berg CW staat hier voor continuous wave), de V en de H geven de polarisatie aan.

Loral Skynet : Uitbater van de Skynet satalieten die een groot deel van de wereld van TV voorzien.

"orbital slot": Een locatie op een baan boven de evenaar (voor geostationaire satalieten)

I assume Wouter (The parent poster) and I are both equally delighted te be have found a home away from tweakers.net, which carries mainly bad translations (To dutch for those still wondering) of slashdot items... I better shut up now, voor ik een bende power-koeien achter mij aan krijg.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Salsaman]

Reading this Slashdot post just made me understand what she means.

Hoezo ? Dat was heel duidelijk voor mij.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Anonymous Coward]

It's funny to see the parent post moderated redundant while it is clearly offtopic and not redundant.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[poiu]

It's hard for me to believe its' even English you're speaking.

Oh, yea, this is better:

An amonyouns redaer wirtes "Setomime tihs mirnnog (Spet. 19) Testlar 4 had a maojr onbaord fiulrae. I jsut checked a few mitneus ago and three are CW crearirs up on 11700 MHz V & 12200 MHz H, so the spccreafat wolud apeapr to sitll be in its oibratl solt - jsut no trffaic. The Lroal Skynet stie has no mteionn of tihs yet, but sesdupoply Ttlsear 8 was aelardy suechdeld to ralecpe T4, so tehy may jsut seepd the porcess up. Tihs trun of eenvts wlil no doubt be of smoe salml cneorcn to Isenlatt, who rcnteely argeed to hubzilla msot of Lroal's US hubzilla fleet, inidcunlg T4."

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[uncoveror]

Here's an explanation even your girlfriend will understand. Aliens took out Telstar 4, just like they did to CONTOUR.

Re:I'm as stumped as my girlfriend usually is

[Wolfrider]

Hmm... I wonder if it got hit by a small piece of orbital space debris?

Huh?

[DNS-and-BIND]

What is Telstar 4? A satellite, certainly. How is it relevant to my life? The article submitter (and approver) could be a little more verbose.

Assuming everyone knows everything you do is a sure sign of the foolish man.

Re:Huh?

[Anonymous Coward]

Hell, I'm from Gillette, Wyoming and have heard of Telstar satellites.

Re:Huh?

[Anonymous Coward]

My guess is that Telstar 4 is a ham radio space station since he mentions cw, which means continuous wave, or morse code. Hams use these space stations to make long distance transmissions, having a satellite like this go out limits the ability for hams to communicate from afar.

Re:Huh?

[Toddimer]

The Full News Story may answer your questions.

Re:Huh?

[updog]

This is a very serious issue, and potentially extremely disastrous - it means people may have to put their geocaching games on hold!!

Re:Huh?

[Anonymous Coward]

Then we'll just have to let the pork communicate, but Congress went home already.

Re:Huh?

[Anonymous Coward]

Is that where they make the razors?

Re:Huh?

[Anonymous Coward]

Assuming everyone knows everything you do is a sure sign of the foolish man.

I suspect he made no such assumption. Rather, he knew very well that most readers would be perplexed by the story summary. This pleased him as it is a passive aggressive way of putting people who aren't as 31337 as he is in their place. Such outbursts of passive aggression are commonplace amongst computer geeks.

Re:Huh?

[Anonymous Coward]

Hell, I'm from Gillette, Wyoming and have heard of Telstar satellites.

That's nice for you. Two questions:

1. Is there any reason why people from Gillette Wyoming would have a different likelihood of having heard of these satellites to anyone else?

2. Do you know what the story is about other than that it has something to do with a satellite? If so then please explain.

Thanks

Re:Huh?

[Anonymous Coward]

That's where they make the blades. The razors are manufactured in a rink-a-dink operation on the outskirts of Bristol.

Re:Huh?

[Anonymous Coward]

Fascinating.

Re:Huh?

[LostCluster]

If you're in the telecom industry, it's a newsworthy event because the overall satellite bandwith that reaches the CONUS (Contentential USA) area took a downward hit this morning. Clearly, all of the signals that moved accross T4 are gonna need to relocate elsewhere.

However, most of the major users of such a big satellite like national TV/Radio concerns know that it's only a matter of time before something like this happens to a satellite, so they've got automatic switchovers at their affiliates that keep them flowing even if a network show is on at the time. The problem comes to anybody who has "preemptable" satellite space for today, because they may just find themselves hit somebody who's willing to pay the premium fee to bump them. Other users in a pinch might just send something that normally goes over a satellite through landlines today, etc.

It's a major sudden redirection of large ammounts of traffic in the national communication infrastructure, although not exactly earth shaking because most people won't see much of a disruption. (Galaxy IV was a bit more newsworthy fo a failure a few years ago because it took out most of SkyTel's pagers...)

So, it's interesting to some people and other people don't care. Isn't that what /. is all about?

Re:Huh?

[Anonymous Coward]

Reading a Slashdot headline then bitching because you have no idea what it means, without bothering to do any research or even follow the links, is a sure sign of the foolish man. In the time it took you to type that you could have followed at least one of the links and learned all you want to know about Telstar 4.

Re:Huh?

[CharlieG]

Not ham - commercial Comms sat

Re:Huh?

[squiggleslash]

I think I've heard of Telstar, IIRC it was the satellite used to first relay a TV signal across the Atlantic, some time in the 1950s.

I assume Telstar 4 is a more advanced version of the same. Presumably it can relay four whole TV stations. Maybe it can even convert from NTSC to PAL ;-)

Re:Huh?

[fenix down]

Ham radio space station? Shit, no wonder my smell-o-scope never picks up anything but Doritos and B.O.

Re:Huh?

[DickBreath]

In what possible way could this affect geocaching?

Re:Huh?

[Anonymous Coward]

Haha, no. There a few businesses that use razor city in their name, razor city rentals, razor city skateland, etc.

Gillette is the energy capital of the nation. Gillette, population 20,000, is the largest city in the Powder River Basin. Over half of the countries coal comes from this region. Check it out. The mines are all open pit mines. Cool to see if you haven't ever seen one. They suck to work at, but the pay is damn good.

Re:Huh?

[waynelorentz]

Galaxy IV's demise also affected hundreds of television stations. CBS, CBS Newspath, and a bunch of other broadcast TV services were on that bird. I remember when it went away. It just kind of faded from slate into static.

Re:Huh?

[Anonymous Coward]

OK, I'll play along... I'm from Vancouver, Canada (Heaven) and haven't heard of Telstar satellites.

Who's next?

Um... is this some kind of unofficial poll?

Re:Huh?

[Anonymous Coward]

You've never been to Gillette, have ya, college boy?

Re:Huh?

[rfovell]

What is Telstar 4? A satellite, certainly.

It's also the name of a 1990-ish Ford automobile, sold mainly in Australasia. However, I suspect that a Ford going down wouldn't be front page news, even on Slashdot. :-)

Re:Huh?

[Silvers]

All slashdot posts assume some level of familiarity with the subject at hand. Just because this happens to fall outside the scope of your knowledge isn't the fault of the submitter.

Re:Huh?

[rocca]

Not every article ever posted was written for you. If it doesn't apply to you and you have no interest in finding out about it then move on. ;-)

Re:Huh?

[Cylix]

It is somewhat relevent, but you just won't see the effects.

A small bit of syndicated programming comes down from Telstar 4. UPN/CBS also operates their backup signal from this satelite. This has been moved to telstar 5 now. I believe most programming went to telstar 5 and 6 now.

For those who use those sats... it was just a bump in the programming schedule. Everything was routed around the failure in a bit of a rush.

fp!

[Anonymous Coward]

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Third, you need to join the official GNAA irc channel #GNAA on EFNet, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the ops or any of the other members in the channel to sign up today!

If you are having trouble locating #GNAA, the official GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA irc channel, you might be on a wrong irc network. The correct network is EFNet, and you can connect to irc.secsup.org or irc.easynews.com as one of the EFNet servers.
If you do not have an IRC client handy, you are free to use the GNAA Java IRC client by clicking here.

If you have mod points and would like to support GNAA, please moderate this post up.

This post brought to you by hasek39 , a proud member of the GNAA

G_____________________________________naann_______ ________G
N_____________________________nnnaa__nanaaa_______ ________A
A____________________aanana__nannaa_nna_an________ ________Y
A_____________annna_nnnnnan_aan_aa__na__aa________ ________*
G____________nnaana_nnn__nn_aa__nn__na_anaann_MERI CA______N
N___________ana__nn_an___an_aa_anaaannnanaa_______ ________I
A___________aa__ana_nn___nn_nnnnaa___ana__________ ________G
A__________nna__an__na___nn__nnn___SSOCIATION_of__ ________G
G__________ana_naa__an___nnn______________________ ________E
N__________ananan___nn___aan_IGGER________________ ________R
A__________nnna____naa____________________________ ________S
A________nnaa_____anan____________________________ ________*
G________anaannana________________________________ ________A
N________ananaannn_AY_____________________________ ________S
A________ana____nn_________IRC-EFNET-#GNAA________ ________S
A_______nn_____na_________________________________ ________O
*_______aaaan_____________________________________ ________C
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my guess ...

[Dreadlord]

... is that it has something to do with Isabel.

j/k

Re:my guess ...

[geekoid]

that would be a hell of a hurricane if its damaging satalites!

Re:my guess ...

[Rkane]

I blame it on el nino. Always a good scapegoat.

Re:my guess ...

[Anonymous Coward]

why is parent modded down? it goes pretty well with the recent poll, and the reply (which is modded 5 funny) cannot be understood that much without it.

Re:my guess ...

[jxs2151]

I blame it on el nino. Always a good scapegoat.

El Nino? Aren't you aware the Bush is to blame for everything these days?

Re:my guess ...

[mkldev]

No, but I could see it having an impact on some control station that was placed in a bad location.... :-)

That having been said, the latest CNN info says it was an electrical short of some kind.

Re:my guess ...

[Elwood P Dowd]

So weird how he gets a million flamebait and overrated mods for making same joke that got you a +5 funny.

Nothing wrong with your comment, but... kindof interesting.

Re:my guess ...

[anethema]

Diane: "And records show that she has swallowed a record amount of seamen."

Tom: "Thats one powerful hurricane, Diane"

-Family guy

Re:my guess ...

[geekoid]

Its all in the

timing.

Re:my guess ...

[geekoid]

" No, but I could see it having an impact on some control station that was placed in a bad location.... :-)"

yeah, but saying that isn't funny.

Effect ?

[$exyNerdie]

Sometime this morning (Sept. 19) Telstar 4 had a major onboard failure

Can some enlightened one here please tell me how this affects me ?

Re:Effect ?

[Sheetrock]

The next time you attempt to establish uplink communications with the Telstar 4 transponder, or receive any downlink transmissions, you will be unsuccessful.

Hope this helps.

Re:Effect ?

[cK-Gunslinger]

You have many questions, and although the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. Ergo, some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also irrelevant.

Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the matrix. You are the eventuality of an anomaly, which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden to sedulously avoid it, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably, here.

Or something like that...

Re:Effect ?

[afidel]

The last time a Telstar satelite went out of alignment about 3/4ths of the credit card processing in the US went offline. Many banks and gas stations relay their CC processing through transpoders on one of the Telstar satelites instead of dedicating a phone line on each end of the connection. It looks like T-4 is used by ABC and CBS for network programming. See This for more info.

Re:Effect ?

[bhtooefr]

But what does Telstar DO? I mean, what are the downlink transmissions that you would try to receive? I've heard that it's famous for porn, and I know PBS uses Telstars (including 4) for broadcasting, but what else is there?

Re:Effect ?

[zap_branigan]

The hell with credit cards. Am I going to get the spice channel tonight?

T2 Armageddon Averted?

[ksuMacGyver]

Loral Skynet site has no mention of this yet, but supposedly Telstar 8 was already scheduled to replace T4 Already at the T4? Did I miss the T2?

Wifi devices !

[chrysalis]

Guys, please stop playing with your Wifi devices.
See the results...

Re:Wifi devices !

[powerlord]

Hmm maybe someone used their old Primestar Dish, and wanted to see what they would recieve within that 10 mile line-of-site limit? :)

Talk about a DDoS!

j/k

Re:Wifi devices !

[kfg]

I guess hooking up my tomato sauce can and laser pointer to my Mr. Fusion was a Bad Idea, huh?

Ok, I'll try to tone it down a bit. Will someone let me know when the new bird flies so I can try out the modifications?

KFG

Captain's Log: My Anus is too Fucking Tight

[Anonymous Coward]

One day Captain Kirk was maiming his cock with a horseshoe when suddenly Mr. Spock ran up to him and shoved his pointy ear up his butt. "What is this for!" the fag captain said. "FAGS FOR YOU AALL!L!!!" the ancient alien howled as suddenly he farted and Captain Kirk twirled around in a daze and his foreskin twisted and his kidney stones turned into wooden beads. He pulled out his pistol and shot lasers at his chastity belt and suddenly he hurdled his dick into Captain Kirk"s bellybutton and it tore his flesh while Spock fucked his stomach. Kirk hollered out loud and Mr. Spock threw his shoes to the floor and wrinkled his penis until Kirk bellowed out to make it stop. A maelstom of shit whizzed around the ship and suddenly a giant fag appeared out side and the U.S.S. Enterprise went up his butt. "Oh what the hell have you gotten us into NOW!" Captain Kirk said as he oozed a condom back on his dick and put his panties back on. "OOH!H!!!!!!" Mr. Spock started fucking him again and shoved his phazer up his butt. He dissolved his glands and exploded his turds and finally a queer klingon hurdled through the door and smashed Kirk with his butt hairs. A maniac sucked his dick and suddenly Mr. Spock fagged Kirk so hard that his intestines burst open and he died.

Re:Captain's Log: My Anus is too Fucking Tight

[Anonymous Coward]

If that's what it takes kill off the kirk character once and for, so be it.

A major crisis!

[mercuryresearch]

This is a crisis of earth-shattering proportions for many.

One of Telstar 4's nicknames in the industry is "nookiesat" -- as it carries several of the leading porn channels in the US. :-)

Re:A major crisis!

[Xzisted]

Slashdot Collective Sigh: "Whoa! Very Uncool!"

Re:A major crisis!

[hcuar]

Oh no!!! Not nookiesat!!!! Call up Norad, time to go to Defcon 5. Maybe they can kick CNN/Foxnews.

Re:A major crisis!

[jsweval]

Do you mean DEFCON 1? Dude, haven't you watched WarGames?

Re:A major crisis!

[hcuar]

Yup, mean't DEFCON 1... However It's concerning I was rebutted with a movie. What's America coming two... /-)

Re:A major crisis!

[Anonymous Coward]

yes the dvd version and listened to the directors drone on about how they got it backwards...

Re:A major crisis!

[fenix down]

Look, who are you going to believe, NORAD or Matthew Broderick?

Re:A major crisis!

[$0 31337]

Matthew Broderick right? Did I get it right? HUH??

Re:A major crisis!

[jsweval]

It almost came to an end in that movie, you insensitive clod!

Re:A major crisis!

[Anonymous Coward]

Pornstar 4. :)

DMX MUSIC was running off T4 (my place of employment) it's been a huge headache. :/

Re:A major crisis!

[Anonymous Coward]

Or pornstar 4. :)

Re:A major crisis!

[Anonymous Coward]

derrr double post. /me ends self.

Re:A major crisis!

[Anonymous Coward]

Here at DirecTV we call it DirtyBird

Re:A major crisis!

[Recovery1]

Hmm. All I ever saw was Sesame Street. :-D

Damn -- I loved that song

[Hayzeus]

When was 7 I'd dance to it all around the house in my footie pajamas. This behaviour only stopped recently.

Re:Damn -- I loved that song

[TorturedExistance]

They let you browse slashdot at eight years old? Lucky kid.

Re:T2 Armageddon Averted?

[powerlord]

Yes, but don't worry ... It'll be back.

So what does this mean to the average user?

[rushfan]

Does the internet still work?

Can we still download the latest Windows security patches?

Do we still get stupid invoices from sco.com?

-- Rushdan

Re:So what does this mean to the average user?

[El]

You forgot: "Can I still download pron?"

Re:So what does this mean to the average user?

[LostCluster]

If the end user notices something's missing today, that company's likely not coming back. See, satellites are like computer hard drives... they're gonna break eventually, the only question is when.

So, anybody who's actually making money with their satellite usage has made backup contracts that say when T4 goes down, they immedately get moved to another spot to become their full-time home. For example, I've seen elsewhere that several pron channels that were on Telestar 4 got moved to Telestar 6. The problem comes for whomever thought they were gonna be using those slots on T6... 1. They better make sure they don't accidently relay a porn channel, 2. They better find another place to send whatever they were gonna be sending.

Eventually the ripple effect goes to the end of the line where somebody just might find themselves with nowhere to go. They're the ones out of business because even if they can find another place to go in a few days, they've lost all credibility.

Re:So what does this mean to the average user?

[Anonymous Coward]

Hang on a sec ...

Yep!

Re:So what does this mean to the average user?

[scottgfx]

Quote: "Does the internet still work?"

Has it ever?

Slashdot: News for nerds. Stuff that matters.

Telstar 4 DID affect my place of work. CBS backup had to be moved to Telstar 6 and WSI was moved as well. Just some of the digital data that flows into our building that doesn't go over the Internet. Do you think we would really rely on Sprint to get all of that data. They have enough trouble with our two T1 lines and the phone system here. You want every story to be about Windows patches? Telco is a lot more interesting.
Adverage? We're talking Slashdot here!!!

In other news...

[CommandNotFound]

Astronomers from Tacoma to Vladivostok have just reported an ionic disturbance in the vicinity of the Van Allen Belt. Scientists are recommending that necessary precautions be taken.

Re:In other news...

[Anonymous Coward]

Eggheads. What do they know?

Re:In other news...

[Brymouse]

Puthhhh.. Eggheads, what do they know.

good way to upgrade

[stonebeat.org]

breaking something, usually speeds up upgrade process.
In IT people that a lot (especially with the servers)
And with the recent increase in MS security patches this has become more evident. People are scrambling to upgrade/switch to better OS (like OS X, Linux etc)

Re:good way to upgrade

[Anonymous Coward]

Hahaha, yeah, sure they are. Idiot.

In Soviet Russian

[ShallowThroat]

Satellites Down YOU!

huh?

[.silG.00]

i understand........nothing!

what the hell are we talking bout?

For all those whiners...

[jonman_d]

For all of you who keep asking, "What is telstar?" - here's the results of a Google:

http://roland.lerc.nasa.gov/~dglover/sat/telstar.h tml

Re:For all those whiners...

[meshko]

It's the Deathstar! Good thing it is down!

Re:For all those whiners...

[2short]

Not terribly on-topic:

I'm depressed the google searh returns no mention of the first game console I ever owned, named "Telstar". No cartriges, just a slide switch on top for selecting between 4 types of Pong.

Re:For all those whiners...

[jwilcox154]

The Satellite also inspred a Song by the same name, Composed by Meek, Performed bt the Tornadoes in 1962.

Re:For all those whiners...

[beebware]

You mean the one with two silver slide switches and those paddles which you had to turn to make the bat move? I remember having one of those before I got my hands on an Atari 2600. *sigh* Those were the days when you could entertain yourself with the same 4 cartridges for several years...

reference?

[BWJones]

So, do we have a link? A reference? How can we confirm this? Who posted this? This sort of news item sucks. Very little information and no links to reference the news item.

Re:reference?

[Animats]

The person who reported it sounds like someone who points a dish at the bird, but not an uplink operator. If you really have a need to know the status of the satellite, you probably know the number of the Hawley satellite control center.

Re:reference?

[JUSTONEMORELATTE]

So, do we have a link? A reference? How can we confirm this? Who posted this? This sort of news item sucks. Very little information and no links to reference the news item.

Well, you could bitch and moan about it, or you could just use Google News and find your own damn references

Re:reference?

[BWJones]

Well, you could bitch and moan about it, or you could just use....

O.K., by that logic, let's just let all of our news sources report on news items without citing sources or references. What would that leave us with eh? Fox news is what. My point is simply that a news article should cite sources and references so we can establish within reason the credibility of the story without having to go poking around in search of references for topical news items. Posting news items without sources is simply shoddy reporting and we should hold the editors to a higher standard, particularly if Slashdot is wanting to sell subscriptions.

Re:reference?

[prockcore]

Well, you could bitch and moan about it, or you could just use Google News and find your own damn references

Well shit, then why even bother visiting slashdot at all?

teleport

[geekoid]

it looks like they got some cool new technology coming soon:
Teleport

This may affect you because

[cleveland61]

Telstar 4 is one of the most heavily used TV satellites. We had to move our channels over to Telstar 6 for the time being. (I work for the Erotic Networks) It caries many of the east coast ABC and CBS feeds. I'm sure they were scrambling to find alternate carriers just like we were this morning.

Re:This may affect you because

[Sphere1952]

Well... It doesn't effect me, but I don't suppose you could get me some freebie access so that it would effect me?

Re:This may affect you because

[MoxCamel]

...I work for the Erotic Networks...

I think I speak for a large majority of fellow Slashdotters, when I rub my hands together and creepishly ask "Got any job openings there?" (Grabs for inhaler...)

Re:This may affect you because

[kfg]

Well I'm glad you guys got my TV back up toute suite, but what are these "ABC" and "CBS" you speak of?

KFG

Re:This may affect you because

[Wirr]

(I work for the Erotic Networks)

Welcome on my friend list.
I always wanted to be able to tell people that I have friends at the Erotic Network.

Not that I can watch Telstar here in Germany, but hey, its the thought that counts.

Re:This may affect you because

[switcha]

I work for the Erotic Networks

I think I speak for a large majority of fellow Slashdotters, when I rub my hands together and creepishly ask "Got any job openings there?

Rub your hands where?

Re:This may affect you because

[Anonymous Coward]

I think Ill speak for the rest of us. WE DO NOT WANT TO KNOW.

Re:This may affect you because

[Wanker]

I work for the Erotic Networks

Isn't that the place where every network interface is in promiscuous mode? <grin>

Re:This may affect you because

[DickBreath]

Some of us want to know.

Re:This may affect you because

[LostCluster]

ABC and CBS will never be the ones scrabling for space... it's very common for big-money TV networks (be they mainstream or porn) to have a contract that says if the usual dedicated transponder is gone, they immedately get to take over a specific transponder on another satellite from the company.

Those transponder slots that are targeted by such an agreement are used for short-term "pre-emptable" uses, such as a TV station that needs to broadcast two or three live news reports from another city, or maybe even a small-time sports game. Those people are outta luck on a day like this, because they're gonna get bumped.

Re:This may affect you because

[Anonymous Coward]

You mean some one who works for the erotic networks READS slashdot?????

Re:This may affect you because

[dfung]

Hard to ignore the "Erotic Networks" thread and I'm trying hard not to make a joke...

But more seriously, I'm curious - next week is the start of the Fall TV season for most of the networks. Is a failure like this going to affect it? Aren't these the satellites used to downlink the new TV shows to the stations?

If there's a traffic increase during the seasonal launch, I wonder if this failure was caused by getting ready? Or perhaps a hack?

Heck, probably SCO trying to scam some porn...

Re:This may affect you because

[Admiral Llama]

I work for the Erotic Networks

Is that anything like the Psychic Friends Network?

Re:This may affect you because

[ArsSineArtificio]

Isn't that the place where every network interface is in promiscuous mode?

When they're rooted, they know it. All the ports are open.

Re:This may affect you because

[Cylix]

Thats funny...

First mention I had that T4 was down happened when one of the guys in our control room said...

"The porn channels are down!"

Clearly this interuption in our control room was a boon to the overal morale.

Re:This may affect you because

[bthom73]

Friday morning I woke up, took a shower, and
attempted to turn on the stereo while I was
getting dressed for work - guess what, no
music... Figured it was just a bad connection
or some problem with the DMX receiver so I
ignored it for the time being. I then went out
to lunch at a local restaurant and guess what -
no music... Remembering that they also used
DMX for their acid jazz background music and
that mine was out the same morning, I figured
maybe it wasn't just a problem on my end. When
I got back to work I did some google searches
and found out what actually happened... Anyway,
there's a very good chance that much of the
U.S. population was affected in some small
way (whether they know or care is another
story).

Link to actual story

[Anonymous Coward]

http://money.cnn.com/2003/09/19/technology/telstar .reut/

Re:Link to actual story

[Toddimer]

Working Link to the news story that spurned this post ;)

Re:Link to actual story

[ripetersen]

Here are links about telstart from news.google.com:
Oh wait...the first link is back to /.
So it must be true.

Impending Doom?!

[PDG]

"A communications disruption could mean only one thing . . . invasion."

or

"It's like in chess: First, you strategically position your pieces and when the timing is right you strike. They're using this signal to syncronize their efforts and in 5 hours the countdown will be over"

Re:Impending Doom?!

[Sabu mark]

"It's like in chess: First, you strategically position your pieces and when the timing is right you strike. They're using this signal to syncronize their efforts and in 5 hours the countdown will be over"

Remember, Kif: in the game of chess, you must never let your adversary see your pieces!

Re:Impending Doom?!

[Frostalicious]

Remember, Kif: in the game of chess, you must never let your adversary see your pieces!

Getting the new satellite up is critical. If they can hit the bullzeye on that one, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!

It's the Mothership...

[sfled]

"They're using our own satellites against us!"
- Jeff Goldblum in Independence Day

Re:It's the Mothership...

[nacturation]

"They're using our own satellites against us!"
- Jeff Goldblum in Independence Day

Nothing to worry about. I hear those evil aliens run systems which are Mac compatible and they forgot to set the root password.

Re:It's the Mothership...

[Anonymous Coward]

No worries. We just need someone to go up there with a Gameboy and give the mothership a virus.

Re:It's the Mothership...

[beebware]

"Butt sex...Butt sex requires a lot of lubrication...."
- Jeff thinking how to decode alien transmissions (ok in "Cancelled" South Park).

Re:It's the Mothership...

[shirai]

I love that. They have the power to control our satellites, destroy all the major capitals of the world, and they haven't invented the clock yet.

That's why they came. To steal our watch technology.

You may not miss it ...

[Anonymous Coward]

Among other things , T4 carried traffic for Muzak (in-store music and ads) and at least one of their competitors (for whom I work). The company's been scrambling all day to get the traffic rerouted through another satellite, but each and every customer will have to physically realign their dish.

Enjoy the silence while it lasts ...

Re:You may not miss it ...

[R33MSpec]

"...T4 carried traffic for Muzak (in-store music and ads)..."

Well in that case I think it's time to go shopping!

Sad day.

[Follis]

When I was young, and trying to lock in my C-band dish, I almost allways used T4 as a reference point. Good clear signal, and you ALLWAYS knew what channel you were on. Kinda sad to see the old bird die

Major League Baseball

[PoitNarf]

Rejoice! That was the satellite that Major League Baseball was using to spy on us.

Re:Major League Baseball

[d3faultus3r]

And god help you if that thing carried the spice channel!
-moe
seriously, I think that telsat 4 actually did carry the spice channel, or some other porn network.

Why does this sound like...

[greysky]

...The opening sequence to Terminator 4: Rise of the Voting Machines?

News for Martians - Cosmic Splatters

[Anonymous Coward]

...and this just in, scout ship ZI452 had a collision earlier today with some Earthling space rubbish. While no major damage was sustained to the ship, it was called back to the spaceport for inspection. A source aboard the ship who wished to remain anonymous was quoted as saying "Damn Earthlings, the think they own space, wait 'till we show 'em."

I for one, welcome our new Martian overlords.

reboot it

[circletimessquare]

why can't they just have some entry-level admin reboot it?

cycle the power, voila, no big deal.

oh, wait...

Re:reboot it

[tigertiger]

No, you have to reinstall from CD and download the most recent drivers - they are using Windows CE (Celestial Edition)

Re:reboot it

[Anonymous Coward]

That's the problem with colos.

Re:reboot it

[geekoid]

you must have an MBA.

Re:reboot it

[mkldev]

PHB: First we get a big slingshot. Then we give Asok a small tank of air.
Dilbert: Won't he pop like a baloon a few seconds after he gets up there?
PHB: Will he have time to power-cycle the thingamahoey?
Dilbert: Well, I suppose so, but...
PHB: Will it be operational then?
Dilbert: I think so, but..
PHB: And this will save us how much money?
Dilbert: 25 million a day... look! That's not the point!
Wally: I think it's a brilliant plan, sir. Truly the finest.
Dilbert & Alice: WALLY!?!
Wally: What? I'm just saying....

Three days later

PHB: Okay, we're ready, Asok.
Asok: Are you sure this is such a good idea?
PHB: Perfectly safe. Perfectly safe.

Chunk....whoosh... splut...
(We see Asok's feet sticking out of the side of a building.)

PHB: For us, anyway.

Was there really anything important on there?

[bhtooefr]

I've heard porn was on there, and PBS broadcasts (today's schedule) using Telstars, but is that really vital? I mean, none of the internet is down, and telephone services still work. I understand that PBS is educational, but the vital services in a disaster would be news (only affected if Telstar 4 carried news), telephone, food (I don't think Telstars carry commercial transactions), water (ditto), and shelter (THAT doesn't need a Telstar).

Re:Was there really anything important on there?

[cleveland61]

Many of ABC's regional news feeds are carried on Telstar 4. Channel Line up

Re:Was there really anything important on there?

[ice-monk]

I've heard porn was on there ... but is that really vital?
Yes, you insensitive clod!

Re:Was there really anything important on there?

[bhtooefr]

Oh, well, then mod grandparent down as wrong!

Re:Was there really anything important on there?

[El]

PBS broadcasts (today's schedule) using Telstars, but is that really vital?

You've OBVIOUSLY never had to deal with a 3-year old that hasn't gotten her daily fix of Sesame Street! (I'll resist the urge to use the phrase "You insensitive clod!")

Re:Was there really anything important on there?

[silicon not in the v]

Hmm, if there were Pr0n and PBS signals in there together when its brain scrambled, PBS might be a little more interesting when the signal comes back.

Re:Was there really anything important on there?

[bhtooefr]

OK, my idea was that if the mythical weapons of mass destruction were used on us, or some major earthquake happened, or planes are flown into buildings, people won't care about their 3-year old getting to see Sesame Street. They'll want news, phones, food, water, and shelter. Anyway, scroll up - ABC (and I've heard CBS) use Telstar 4 for their east coast broadcasts.

Re:Was there really anything important on there?

[NuttyBee]

Was there anything important... Hmm, well the ABC television network uses it to send most of their programming and news stuff to affiliates. It had a fair amount of New Frontier's stuff on it. (porn).. And theres probably other stuff on it I know nothing about.

I worked at a TV station when Galaxy 4 went down in the late 90s. We got most of our syndicated programming off that and Telstar 5. We had ONE dish setup to receive just G4 and T5 which were 2 degrees apart on the satellite arc. All of a sudden, the fax machine starts exploding with faxes flying out furiously, due to critical failure -- the feed will be on xxx @ this time.

So:

1. You needed to reset all the regular recording events that use to be timed such that we never ran out of VCRs or dishes to get them with. Now we had 10 events occurring at once and 4 VCRs to record them with. It screwed everything up, even stuff that had nothing to do with Galaxy 4.

2. Instead of 1 dish pointed a stationary space -- we now needed 4 dishes pointed at 4 different places. We didn't have them.

So, in answer to the question "was there anything important out there." Nahh, not really.

Re:Was there really anything important on there?

[bhtooefr]

I found out there were also ABC signals in there. Sesame Rules for Fucking and sucking my Teenage Daughter? That would be one fucked up show.

Re:Was there really anything important on there?

[Anonymous Coward]

While the PBS C-band analog feed to huge backyard dishes was on Telstar 4, most normal people who need their PBS fix via satellite can get in on digital DBS with a small dish.

Re:Was there really anything important on there?

[rsmith-mac]

I remember when G4 went down; it was a happy day, as it was the bird that carried Channel One(aka the "We own your kids" corperation). Let us hope that they made the mistake of moving to T4 now.

Re:Was there really anything important on there?

[Anonymous Coward]

What, you don't think porn is educational?!

Re:Was there really anything important on there?

[gmhowell]

Is porn vital? You must not be married...

Crisis Averted!

[mercuryresearch]

BTW, I just checked w/ New Frontier Media (they provide those porn channels) and the channels have already been rerouted to Telstar 6.

Obviously the satellite industry has its priorities straight. :-)

Re:Crisis Averted!

[Anonymous Coward]

Obviously the satellite industry has its priorities straight. :-)

Nookiesat carries boy-on-boy too, doesn't it?

A fleet?

[secolactico]

Ok, so I'm nitpicking here... but isn't a group a satellites called a constelation?

Re:A fleet?

[Anonymous Coward]

A constellation of satellites is a group of satellites in formation, working together to do whatever it is they do. A satellite is a (usually unmanned) spacecraft, and a fleet is a group of spacecraft owned by an entity. For example, the GPS satelites form a constelation and make up part of a fleet owned by the US government.

clickable

[Anonymous Coward]

clickable link. How hard is it to make one???

What Telstar 4 is.....

[CrackDady]

This is pulled from one of the links. Distance learning... who needs it anyway!

Telstar 4
77 W (in 2003)

Began service: 11/95

Transponders: 24 C-band @ 36 MHz
16 Ku-band @ 54MHz

Coverage: Continental US, Alaska, Hawaii, Puerto Rico, US Virgin Islands, and into Canada.

Markets: Robust broadcast and syndication neighborhood anchored by ABC and CBS; host to SNG, data and distance learning applications.

Because of the 44K light year distant flares?

[Progman3K]

We don't know the nature of those emissions.
I'm pretty sure things like that can mess up electronics though, to the point of causing system faults.

After all, what shielding could possibly protect you from something that was able to reach across space like that?

Wow!

[Anonymous Coward]

Like, who gives a fuck?

Linkified

[Anonymous Coward]

http://money.cnn.com/2003/09/19/technology/telstar .reut/

Telstar 4 info

[gstevens]

Here's a page with information on the television signals carried by Telstar 4:
http://www.lyngsat.com/t4.shtml

Re:Telstar 4 info

[Anonymous Coward]

Ummm... that page is devoid of listings.

So I guess that means that T4 really is down ;)

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US?!?!

[Delron Da Thugg]

First Telstar 8, next the rest of our sats!!! I think CATS is coming, and he's bringing the armada from Independence Day with him! All our base are belong to CATS!

Enteprise Rent-A-Car uses Telstar4

[Anonymous Coward]

I hear they will have people in all weekend working on migrating branches.

Re:Enteprise Rent-A-Car uses Telstar4

[Anonymous Coward]

This is True I will be one of them,
Repointing their Dish's

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Oh great...

[FrostedWheat]

It's those pesky Klingons again!

Re:Oh great...

[SmallFurryCreature]

I think klingons only blow up old voyagers, considering what happened in the first movie, that is actually a nice thing.

Sorry! My bad!

[Un pobre guey]

Sorry guys! I accidentally uploaded the wrong firmware version from CVS. We'll send somebody up there to reboot the system soon.

Please stand by.

Independence day?

[Chran]

Quick, call Jeff Goldblum!

He might be able to find the hidden carrier signal the alien fleet uses to coordinate the attack.

Re:Independence day?

[Thjorska]

And then use his PowerBook to upload a virus into their computer.

Your big moment...

[jemenake]

Sometime this morning (Sept. 19) Telstar 4 had a major onboard failure. I just checked a few minutes ago and there are CW carriers up on 11700 MHz V & 12200 MHz H...

So... you sit at home all day and check the status of satellites?

The Loral Skynet site has no mention of this yet...

But I'll bet you've already phoned them up and informed them, huh? I can picture the sense of glee racing through your mind as you punched in the phone number... anticipating the moment you've been waiting for all these long years... the moment when you get to notify one of the "big boys" that their satellite isn't working before they find out themselves.

Well... now that that's over with, nothing left to do but go get a life, I suppose.

Re:Your big moment...

[cleveland61]

We new about 30 seconds after it went down. The call center started going nuts with people complaining that they couldn't get their p0rn.

Re:Your big moment...

[elpapacito]

Look at who's talking now, the guy that actually follows the guy that tracks the satellites. Guess at least the tracker one is doing something useful, who needs a life again dude ?

Re:Your big moment...

[Anonymous Coward]

talk about pathetic... how long have you been waiting to get a dig in on the guy who follows the guy who tracks satellites?

er... wait

Re:Your big moment...

[narftrek]

Some of us slashdotters enjoy stories that aren't just SCO or RIAA articles. I could actually give a shit about SCO, but I like to keep tabs on satellite news. Guess that's just another thing that seperates us engineers from the programmers :)

Re:Your big moment...

[Barnoid]

guess how the submitter of the story found out...

Even worse...

[AEton]

Telstar 4 has mutinied and is orchestrating the robot rebellion against humanity. The Loral Global Alliance faction's Loral SKYNET program has gone too far this time.

Looking at Telstar 4's coverage map, it's clear that SKYNET plans to strike first in an east-west corridor bounded by New Mexico and Ohio; the killing robot machines will move outward until they capture most of Canada, half of Mexico, and all of Hawaii.

Save us, Terminate SKYNET!

Re:Even worse...

[blackmonday]

I, for one, welcome our new satellite-guided human killing robot overlords.

Re:Even worse...

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't get it. What do you guys have against Belgian ISP's?

Re:Even worse...

[Meshach]

mmmmm
obscure simpsons reference

Re:Even worse...

[DeepZenPill]

There's only one thing to do: learn the language of the robots, earn their trust, then breed with their women, and in time, our differences will be forgotten.

Because

[geekoid]

Clearly, the invading aliens are using this satalit to triangulate there position around earth. Now, considering this satalite carries a lot of porn channels, it most certian does effect you.

At least there's hope

[brain1]

If the beacons are still up, then it might not be too late. Galaxy 4 went topsy-turvy about 7 years ago and a lot of services, such as paging, TV network feeds, and long distance, went toast. The satellite was forever lost. So at least T4 is still in it's orbital position and the antennas are still pointed at earth. Hmmm... Could it be another case of faulty uploaded software, like what started SOHO into tumbling???

Footprint

[AchmedHabib]

When looking at the Loral Skynet pages, I think that it is amazing to see the footprint of those satellites, like Telstar 12 that covers Europe to north America(Atlanta).

We didn't find: "www.telstar4.com"

[precogpunk]

I know -- Telstar4 is down! I went to Telstar4.com and nothing was found except for these useful suggestions for www.telstra.com, www.talstar.com, www.telstar1.com and www.telstar21.com.

Huh?

[Anonymous Coward]

"Whiners"? Look, I'm all for RTFA...but the purpose of writing a submission, as opposed to submitting raw URLs, is to provide a lead -- a brief summary, to let readers know whether they might be interested in reading further. Not only does this submission utterly fail that test...but I clicked on the link ("RTFA," as it were), and it still wasn't immediately apparent to me that Telstar 4 was the actual satellite.

There's whining, and then there are legitimate gripes. This is a case of the latter...so climb down off your high horse, and go fuck yourself.

Good old Loral

[segment]

Maybe they went out of business... they've been know for criminal activities...

From the New York Times, May 19, 1998

[FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES, MAY 19, 1998]

Satellite Maker Gave Report to China Before Telling U.S.

(By Jeff Gerth)

Washington: A leading American satellite maker acknowledged for the first time Monday that a committee headed by one of its top executives provided a report in 1996 to the Chinese on a failed Chinese rocket, without first consulting federal officials, and contrary to the company's own internal policies.

But the company, Space Systems/Loral, a subsidiary of Loral Space and Communications, based in Manhattan, said it `does not believe any of its employees dealing with China acted illegally or damaged U.S. national security.' The company issued a two-page statement, which it called a `fact sheet.'

In the statement, Loral said it was cooperating with the Justice Department, which is investigating whether sensitive technological information was passed to the Chinese during industry reviews of an accidental explosion of a Chinese rocket seconds after liftoff in February 1996.

FAS

CHICAGO, June 30 (Reuters) - Loral Space & Communications Ltd., which makes and operates satellites, on Monday said it will pay rival Alcatel $13 million in a settlement that resolves all outstanding issues between them, including a contract dispute.

WebProWire

Re:Good old Loral

[Anonymous Coward]

huh? Criminal activities?

They wrote a report, and settled a contract dispute.

How are these criminal?

K -this is sooo totally off topic, but WTF?

Last reported Telstar 4 transmission...

[Anonymous Coward]

...was what sounded like whale noises? Does anyone know how to speak whale?

Re:Last reported Telstar 4 transmission...

[Anonymous Coward]

nah, it's just the dolphins saying so long and thanks for all the fish.

A Link that Says a Bit More.

[13Echo]

Here...
Here...
And here...

de-TV Geeked translation

[Argyle]

Telstar 4 is/was a satellite in geosynchronous orbit over the US. The satellite is used for television transmission. Signals are sent up from television facilities, bounced off the bird (nick for a satellite), and then the signal is recieved by cable companies and TV stations for relay to your house.

The main power bus on Telstar 4 died. This means it does not have the power to rebroadcast (bounce) the signals back to earth.

Kinda like the Enterprise losing the warp drive, but still having impulse power to putter around.

These birds cost US$200-300 million to build and US$100-150 million to launch. Failure of this type is a huge loss for Intelsat and a costly transition for the broadcasters.

The companies that used that bird need to switch to other ones. This causes two problems.

1) Antennas - The recievers all need to repoint their antennas at new birds. This is a pain in the ass to do precisely.

2) Bumps - Due to agreements, some companies on Telstar 4 have the right to 'bump' others off the backup birds and take their places. If you get bumped, you are fuxxored.

Make some sense now?

Re:de-TV Geeked translation

[Anonymous Coward]

You like feeling like the alpha geek, referring to them as "birds", don't you? King of the hill, baby, you're king of the hill.

Re:de-TV Geeked translation

[Anonymous Coward]

Kinda like the Enterprise losing the warp drive, but still having impulse power to putter around.

So, we can expect it to be fixed before the hour is up?

But wait... normally you can only restore warp at the dramatically necessary moment, which is right after a commercial break as the aliens attack. But if Telstar 4 carries the commercials, then we can't have a commercial break! Now what do we do?

Re:de-TV Geeked translation

[wfberg]

But wait... normally you can only restore warp at the dramatically necessary moment, which is right after a commercial break as the aliens attack. But if Telstar 4 carries the commercials, then we can't have a commercial break! Now what do we do?

It's increasingly common for cable operators to add their own ads to the channel (by agreement) which override any nationwide ads on the channel. So, even though the signal is lost, you can still enjoy watching the vast of amazing offers at Joe's Bar&Grill, 10 Parkavenue.. No worries there, then. ;-)

Re:de-TV Geeked translation

[Anonymous Coward]

Well... normally in a catastrophe of those proportions I'd recommend rerouting warp power through a modified deflector dish but as we don't have warp power maybe we could reroute deflector power through a modified warp engine? Or something.

Re:de-TV Geeked translation

[Anonymous Coward]

Hmmm... set up a neutrino field inside a can of peas, hold on to Geordie's visor, then sing into Data's knees...

Re:de-TV Geeked translation

[Lumpy]

1) Antennas - The recievers all need to repoint their antennas at new birds. This is a pain in the ass to do precisely.

Um no it's not. unless the cable Tv headend is ran by a bunch of complete idiots all they need to do is either ratchet the dish's jack arm to the new location, or if the cable headend is somewhat within the past 2 decades, they just simply move a coax from the telstar4 feedpoint to the telstar 6 feedpoint from the simulsat dish (a dish/ feedhorn array that see's all tv sattelites in the ecliptic at the same time.. it takes 2 minutes to move from one sattelite to another and that includes scratching you butt and getting more coffee.)

it takes ZERO effort for 99% of the headends in america.

Re:de-TV Geeked translation

[LostCluster]

It's not the TV headends that are in trouble, it's the one-off situations. For example, Muzak had a lot of feeds on T4, and each and every customer site has one dish pointed at T4 and no easy way to move it. Those sites are gonna be without their Muzak until a techie comes out to manually reaim that dish... that's the pain in the neck.

Re:de-TV Geeked translation

[GigsVT]

A tachyon pulse, of course.

"If a tachyon pulse can't fix it, it ain't worth fixin"

Re:de-TV Geeked translation

[Anonymous Coward]

Not really, because it's Muzak.

Re:de-TV Geeked translation

[gmhowell]

Where's CleverNickName when you need him?

Re:de-TV Geeked translation

[Johnny Mnemonic]

Thx. I'm more interested now.

What causes a "power bus" to die? Age, or technical malfunction?

Is the bird reparable, or of any use any more in a diminished capacity, or will it simply spend out the rest of the time it takes to de-orbit doing exactly nothing? Is it possible to task it with low-need scientific use, or is it now just another lump of iron?

Re:de-TV Geeked translation

[martijnd]

So now what? US$ 450 mln of real estate hanging out to dry being totally useless.

Do we get to crash this thing into the moon for kicks?

Sure its not as cool as doing a kamikaze into Jupiter ; but we can set a target, points if they hit the flag.

Re:de-TV Geeked translation

[Keith Russell]

Only one problem: The headend relies on cue tones embedded in the national feed to mark the point where a local spot can be inserted. No network feed, no cue tones, no locals.

Trip: Hey, Cap'n. If we had a cue tone generator, we could jump start the warp engines!
Archer: Can't we get the same effect from a verteron particle projector?
T'Pol: Improvisational Physics is still a theoretical field, Captain. You would not be able to build such a device using the low-quality components of this ship.
Archer: OK, so we try plan B. Hoshi, how well can you whistle?

FLAMEBAIT!!!! TROLL!!!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Jesus H. FUCKING Christ. Are the Slash Mods so FUCKING dumb they can't see a FUCKING TROLL even when it SHITS on your FACE?

That's great and all..

[Necroman]

But slashdot needs a feature where we users can mod the actual articals.... This one would be at a good
Score: -97 (Offtopic)

Re:That's great and all..

[grozzie2]

Guess this is all a matter of opinion. Frankly, I'd like to see all the music sharing and totally irrelavent to the real world RIAA crap modded right off the scale, but for some strange reason, it seems to be the most important subject there is for most /. junkies. The topic says 'News for Nerds, Stuff that matters'. The loss of a major communications satellite that hosts a LOT of signals seems like 'stuff that matters' for real nerds. Yet more whining about how everybody thinks it should be all ok to steal music, well, I guess I've always failed to see how that matters at all.

From a 'technology' standpoint, the loss of T4 is a big deal. More nattering about RIAA, well, does anybody even really care ?

You're overlooking the obvious

[silicon not in the v]

It's no coincidence this happened today. The sattelite must have been boarded.

Skynet site hacked?

[phil reed]

Take a look at their "Industry Terms" page = http://www.loralskynet.com/tech_resources/glos_us. asp.html

What's up with the first entry? Also, there's an entry for "hacker".

Reading the links is the Rosetta for this story.

[Derivin]

Gah, I read this one 5 times and still didnt understand. After reading all the links and doing some googling here it is again in a lower form of techno-geek (or would it be higher? not sure).

T4 is a broadcast Satalite used to transmit the raw station feeds from the central offices (read networks) to local broadcasters (cable, local ABC affiliate etc).

What Data T4 is responcible for:
Robust broadcast and syndication neighborhood anchored by ABC and CBS; host to SNG, data and distance learning applications. (Also hosted is Spice Channel and two other adult viewing stations which are not mentioned on the main site)

Where it effects:
The central portion of North America

The origional poster mentions the Carrier frequencies that the data is normally transfered on. The poster also mentions that there is no data being broadcast, just the main freq.

I have no way of confirming this myself, and dont see anything about it on any of the satalite pages. All they report is that a satalite is up and running (i.e. the Carrier frequency is present, but nothing on the data being transmitted)

As for the information on replacing the old T4 with T8, well T8 is currently handling south america, and the information I could find on google about the sale of the out dated satalites it vague at best.

Who does this effect:
Possably people out in the midwest are not getting any TV on their cable boxes.
mostlikly its effecting the cable companies and local affiliates who need to reroute to another satalite, and the central offices which also need to switch the feeds to other sat feed providers.

In the end nothing is confirmed.

Yay outsourcing!

[Anonymous Coward]

Patinder and Jatinder were obviously trying to figure out how to put backdoors in the system to get themselves and their friends free service, or something.

A spokesperson for the Jaujau Hair Oil Factory and Computer Programming for Cheap company declined to comment, as he was screaming frantically at his coworkers in Gujarati and ignoring the frantically ringing long-distance phone.

The Story

[Enraged_jawa]

Telstar 401 out of serviceJanuary 17, 1997: 1:01 p.m. ET Satellite's failure could cost AT&T several hundred million dollars NEW YORK (CNNfn) -- AT&T said on Friday that it has been unsuccessful in its attempts to re-establish contact with Telstar 401 and has declared the satellite permanently out of service. The satellite's telemetry and communications abruptly stopped early Saturday morning, the company said. The satellite, which began malfunctioning last weekend, was used to transmit network TV programs. The problem has been invisible to TV viewers because AT&T said it immediately restored service for customers whose contracts called for transfer of their transponder service to Telstar 402R, and restored other services as well. In addition to traffic from ABC and other networks, the satellite carried signals from syndicators, resellers and educational networks. An AT&T spokesman said this is the first time AT&T has ever seen a satellite broadcast successfully and then fail completely. On September 25, 1996, AT&T agreed to sell AT&T Skynet Satellite Services to Loral Space & Communications. Skynet consisted of three satellites, one of them more than ten years old. The loss of Telstar 401 significantly reduces the value of Skynet and could cost AT&T several hundred million dollars. Telstar was launched in late 1993 and started serving customers early in 1994. It is highly unusual for a satellite to fail so quickly. The satellite was manufactured by Lockheed Martin. Find this article at: http://money.cnn.com/1997/01/17/technology/att

Re:The Story

[mkldev]

Wait a sec, so you're saying that six years ago, one of the satellites in that family died just as AT&T was selling it to Loral, and now just as Loral is selling it to Intelsat, the same thing happed to another satellite? Yikes! Talk about your pre-sale jitters.

Re:The Story

[Enraged_jawa]

The (bankrupt) Loral.

Re:The Story

[SYFer]

If I recall correctly, Loral purchased Telstar 4 on eBay using the "Buy It Now" option. Since AT&T was a "gold star" Power Seller with no negative comments in the last six months, it seemed pretty cool.

HILARIOUS!

[catseye]

(Grabs for inhaler...)

That comment was comedy gold for about 700 reasons. After a truly killer day, you sir just made it all better by giving me a near-hysterical laughing fit. God bless you, Slashdot posting man!

Skynet confirms its dead

[netmask]

I called Skynet, and this was their quote:

"Telstar 4 experienced a short circuit of primary its power bus and is not fixable. This satellite is offline permanently."

Re:Skynet confirms its dead

[CrackHappy]

Skynet confirmed it's own death? That's pretty cool. I wonder if it had anything to do with T3 tanking.

Re:Skynet confirms its dead

[Alien Being]

"This satellite is offline permanently."

It's passed on. This satellite is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late satellite. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If we hadn't put in geostationary orbit, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-satellite.

Re:Skynet confirms its dead

[Anonymous Coward]

"It's expired and gone to meet its maker"

If I was one of the engineers who built the thing I'd be pretty scared right now - it's quite big, has a long way to fall and will be extremely hot and going very fast when it comes down :P

Re:Skynet confirms its dead

[Sci_Fox]

Being a scavenger, I can only ask..

So, what can we use it for?

Even if it no longer has power for full transmission, there's still power enough to run basic (diagnostic?) uplinks? Perhaps minimal data traffic, or ham radio?

Best keep an eye on it anyway, it wouldn't be the first satellite to come back to life by suprise.

So Who the Heck is GUL7

[SloWave]

Check out the first glossary entry in http://www.cyberstar.com/tech_resources.

Re:So Who the Heck is GUL7

[SloWave]

More specifically http://www.cyberstar.com/tech_resources/glos_us.as p

Actually

[Argyle]

Some of us get paid to worry about this.

If MAE-WEST blew up one day, you'd expect a /. post about it. Cut the guy some slack.

Re:Actually

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't know what the grandparent's intention was, but if my assumption that it was humor is correct, then you should cut him some slack. I found his comment quite amusing. I can't say I've ever known any engineers that weren't obsessed with at least one or two things that that parody couldn't be made to work with.

memories of a job i'm glad i don't have anymore

[entartete]

I used to work for an npr station doing operations stuff, mostly catching shows off network and recording them for rebroadcast and I remember the time that their satellite had problems. actually i don't remember it, that whole time period was this haze of me not sleeping and freaking out about how we were going to get our programing and people calling in to scream at us so it was all sort of a blur. npr switched over to useing some sattelite that canadian broadcasting had space on, since we had helped them out in the past when things went wrong with their network they didn't charge us an arm and a leg. the tv networks that had to switch over had to cough up the real money though.

Should have let me take care of it

[Anonymous Coward]

They should have let me take care of it.

Nothing (and no one) ever goes down on me!

--
Anonymous cowards dig minor innuendo.

The real tragedy

[ripetersen]

is that Muzak uses it to broadcast. The elevators have gone quite...

Re:The real tragedy

[Mantorp]

...yes yes yes, and? quite what?

Re:The real tragedy

[RevSmiley]

I think he ment sighlent.

Actually....

[twoslice]

"A lot" is two words. You wouldn't say "alittle", would you?

I don't give afuck!

Re:Actually....

[eht]

Alot is now a word, I declare it to be a word and it's meaning is extremely sthe same as "a lot".

There, that's all it takes in the English language to make up a new word.

No I won't trademark or copyright my new word, you may all use it your hearts content.

IPOSAT vs. TELSTAR4

[NakedChick]

Lucky for me, I use IPOSAT for all of my satellite needs. IPOSAT's attitude and orientation is much more accommodating. I'll miss T4, but it's no big loss for me, and I bet many would agree.

Say, when are they going to send up another TDRS to get rid of LOS? I'm sure it really annoying a lot of people. But what would I know? I'm just a naked chick.

Dear submitter,

[JTek]

A link to an article might have been nice.

Re:Dear submitter,

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes, well, when the story was submitted it was news as in just happened as in there were no official news sources talking about it yet. Naturally, by the time it appeared on the front page of Slashdot, seven hours later, it was no longer news and there are now lots of sources that can confirm what's going on.

Short Article

[fishybell]

I found a short article that outlines some basic details of what they (Loral) know now and what they're doing to alleviate any problems to the end-user (you).

Re:Short Article

[akb]

Muzak LLC is down!! Yay!

Re:Short Article

[StrangeTikiGod]

Yep, we had to hook up the owner's IPod to the sound system at the restaurant I work at. I never thought I'd say this, but Van Morrison got a little old after a bit.

Re:Short Article

[PortWineBoy]

Thank you. Now I understand the relevance. I will no longer be able to hear Muzak in elevators. A damn shame.

Re:Short Article

[SpringWolf]

So Musac is down. Obviously here's what happened. Somebody waiting on hold for a part for their dodge, had time while they were on hold to build some type of lazer weapon to kill that satellite. - Spring

Probably not "space weather" this time...

[Dr. Zowie]

It's probably not space weather (unlike the last famous Telstar dropout, T401, which was probably caused by a rather large shock front in the solar wind). The current space weather plots from NOAA don't show any big disturbances (just a minor blip in solar X-ray flux yesterday evening; but nothing in the geomagnetic or ionizing radiation indices).

Also, the current LASCO movie of the solar corona doesn't show any solar "storms" coming our way in the last few days (they show up as expanding halos all the way around the Sun), although there were several that went off to the side in that period.

Telstar explained

[exp(pi*sqrt(163))]

Telstar is a British record label that specializes in compilations of popular music. Their albums have names like 100% Dance Volume 4 and Best of Dance '92. They make much of their their sales through TV advertising and their TV spots are well known to British audiences. Their web site isn't actually down. It's just that they have a long flash animation on their front page and it takes ages to load.

Confusingly there is another Telstar records bases in Hoboken in the US.

Maybe it got slashdotted...

[naztafari]

Evil, evil nerds and geeks! :P

Re:Maybe it got slashdotted...

[Anonymous Coward]

Nobody said anything about fucking so its still a possibility!
Porn stars dont read slashdot, but their netadmins might.

Lets Get It Out Of The Way

[Anonymous Coward]

Was Microsoft in anyway culpible for the problem?

I'm sure if we try hard enough, we could get a few erstwhile MS bashes in, even though Timmy, The Great Unwashed Linux Hippie, didn't posted the article.

REPORT

[Anonymous Coward]

SIR TELSTAR 4 IS DOWN

REPORT SYNC DEGENERATE

TELSTAR 4 DOWN RELAY

C Y BASE

"my god it's full of stars!"

Damn!

[telstar]

That's the same thing my girlfriend says...

MOD PARENT UP

[Dr. Zowie]

I would, but I already posted to this thread.

At least HBO Isn't effected

[digitalgimpus]

So I can still watch Sopranos, Sex and the City, et. al.

http://homeboxoffice.com/

Just click on Satellite Operations.

Pretty cool info.

Muzak

[Anonymous Coward]

Considering the fact that this is one of satellites Muzak is transmitted on, I think we should be happy aboug Telstar 4's downage.

Altogether now...

[Anonymous Coward]

Dowwww..na - na-na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na na nowwwww! Dowww na-na, dowww na-na-na-na... Margaret Thatcher's favourite number no less (R4's Desert Island Discs back in the day).

gets old fast.

[Anonymous Coward]

Quoting the Simpsons gets old quickly, espectially when done without tact or any original humor.

YOU"lL NEVER MAKE A NIGGER OUT OF ME!

[Anonymous Coward]

my WHITE BLOOD is PURE, fuckers! It'll be a cold day in HELL before I become one of those FUCKING SHITSKINS! you hear me, FAGS? I"ll have you kn--- AUGGGGHHHHHHHH nooooo ownownfoa fo roajj BLAHhahhbababab ...... Muh dick, muh dick! yess massa! I he'p you wit the groceries!

(and with that the nigger rays were shot at the redneck, turning him into a filthy subhuman negroid)

Re:Skynet site hacked? Mod Parent Up Funny

[Anonymous Coward]

GUL7 probably hacked T4 next, lol.

NOT offtopic!!!

[ashitaka]

Well, maybe a bit.

The 'Telstar' the parent refers to is the 1962 pop instrumental piece written by by Joe Meek and performed by the Tornadoes who became the first U.K. band to have a #1 hit in the States, even before the Beatles. 'Telstar' was inspired by the launch of Telstar 1.

Of course, this is way, way before 99.9% of the Slashdot readership were born so I'm not suprised it was missed. Hell, even I was only 1 year old.

Re:NOT offtopic!!!

[Hayzeus]

Damn teenagers with their damn hot rods and their damn mod points!

Actually, I was only -2 years old when it came out, but Telstar was rereleased on the tres mod compilation "Popcorn" (featuring the title tune, of course) in the early 70s.

Re:NOT offtopic!!!

[Penguinshit]

I prefer The Ventures' version...

(of course, I prefer The Ventures as a matter of point...)

Re:NOT offtopic!!!

[blincoln]

Of course, this is way, way before 99.9% of the Slashdot readership were born so I'm not suprised it was missed. Hell, even I was only 1 year old.

Christopher Walken (as the archangel Gabriel) plays it on his trumpet (yes, that trumpet) in one of the Prophecy films too, which might be a little closer to this age group.

More details...

[ashitaka]

are here.

OK...Which one of you guys did it?

[fdiskne1]

Which one of you guys hijacked it? We all know that the only people that read Slashdot are hackers and pirates. You've had your fun. Give it back now.

Telstar 4 defected to Galileo system

[cbdavis]

4 heard there were job openings at new satellite
network. Enough dealing with porn nets, 4 can
now some REAL work.

CW is not for Morse in this case

[golo]

I don't think that in this case CW has anything to do with Morse code. It's simply an unmodulated signal (only the "carrier") probably being used to troubleshoot. The frequencies mentiones seem like 'normal' Ku-Band down link frequencies, and the poster specified their polarization (Horizontal and Vertical), the telemetry becaon AFAIK are transmitted using circular polarization.

11700 MHz V & 12200 MHz H

[teamhasnoi]

...Telstar 4 must be where the new Intel Pentium 4 Very Xtreme and the Pentium 4Hard-on Xtreme are being developed.

Now we'll have to settle for the Pentium 4 Not So Xtreme and the Pentium 4 Really Quite Mediocre. :(

hahahahah

[Anonymous Coward]

w4nk3r

Oh... GREAT...

[jbuilder]

I ordered the Jenna Jameson day long movie marathon on PPV this morning and had my PVR and my bottle of lotion at the ready... I am SO screwed.... and not in the good way either...! ;)

YO Telstar's my homie

[panaceaa]

Hells I can vouch for Telstar being down. Of course he's down. It ain't no shame. Me and Telly have been pimp rolling the 718 since his mamma flocked from Compton.

Now I don't think you should be all up in the Kool Aid about him and Loral. Hustlers don't call showdowns, but I'm pitching straight game that Loral and her orbital slot are slamming. But if alls you're saying is that he's down, that's cool...

Is it really accurate . . .

[ReciprocityProject]

. . . to call something that kind of hangs in the sky and circles round and round a "spacecraft?" "Satellite" or "wussy thing that kind of hangs in the sky" might be more accurate terms.

Sort of like how a little buoy with a light on it doesn't qualify as a Coast Guard cutter. Yes, it guards the coast, and yes it's on the sea, but it ain't it.

Anyone Remember Telstar Game Machine?

[tds67]

When I was a kid in the mid 1970s, I remember playing a game machine called "Telstar". You hooked it up to your TV like the Atari 2600, except that this had a triangular console: One side had a gun that you could aim at the TV and "shoot" a moving object, another side had "Pong"-like hockey and tennis with knob controllers, and the third side had a steering wheel that would move a "racing car" up or down while the "road" scrolled right to left.

Any old geezers out there remember this?

down?

[kdart]

In the context of communications satellites, be sure to clarify what you mean by "down". It is still in orbit, correct? ;-)

ARRRG!!

[Anonymous Coward]

I was in the sun looking for T4 for about an hour today before I gave up and called in to find out what happened...(I work for Muzak)

Now I get to work all day tomorrow switching dishes to a different bird. Time to break out the aloe-vera and sunscreen.. its going to be a long week.

Re:ARRRG!!

[Anonymous Coward]

ARRRG!!

Hey, talk like a pirate day was yesterday...you're a bit late.

Re:A list of channels

[CrackHappy]

So what should we assume about the "PBS X" channel, considering all the other pr0n related channels carried.....

Telstar 6

[Laser Lou]

From the Telstar 4 link, I can see that there's a Telstar 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12, and 13, but no Telstar 9 in the list. What happened with Telstar 9?

Re:Telstar 6

[mkldev]

From what I can find, it launches in 2004, and might be put at 93 degrees W to replace Telstar 6... unless something changes between now and then, of course. It was originally scheduled for launch in 2002, but was reportedly delayed for a bandwidth upgrade.

Re:Telstar 6

[entartete]

http://www.spaceandtech.com/digest/sd2001-13/sd200 1-13-006.shtml

hasn't been launched yet

"Loral Skynet, Bedminster, N.J., plans to add Ka-band transponders to its planned Telstar 9 communications satellite. The Telstar 9 satellite, being built by Space Systems/Loral, Palo Alto, Calif., will be placed at the 93W orbital slot, where it will replace Telstar 6. Plans previously called for Telstar 9 to operate from a slot at 69W. Telstar 9 will also carry C- and Ku-band transponders. The changes to Telstar 9 will delay delivery of the satellite until the first quarter of 2004."

There's still crap on my TV

[amyhughes]

This hasn't improved the programming any. Better luck next time? Amy

Slashdot Add-on Story! (was: Re: I'm as stumped...

[ak_hepcat]

...then the shockwave hit the outer windows of the NOC, flexing the plexiglass far beyond it's nominal tolerances. Shattered pieces of plastic tore through the air were propelled by the immense sonic boom that shattered McMurray's eardrums. His screams of pain lasted mere milliseconds, as the outward flow of sound from his lungs was quickly overtaken by a wave of super-heated air that cascaded down his throat, cooking him thoroughly inside and out.

Telstar 4 down, ABC will now suck even more.

[Anonymous Coward]

I know ABC had some transponder space on Telstar 4. Only reason I know is because a company I use to work for provided services over it. In fact, friends of mine(who still work there) said that next week is a major undertaking of re-pointing satellite dishes at all the ABC affilliates. Sorta sucks...

Now... the worst part is that emergency bandwidth doesn't come cheap, especially if it is up in space. Now... this led me to an interesting idea. Why don't they have "proxy satellites"... Basically... a small satellite that can change orbits and has the ability to simply relay signals to nearby satellites. Granted... Complexity would jump up a bit, but at least it would give people time to migrate there dishes instead of this emergency, the sky is falling. I bet the price tag for such a device would be well under the 80 million that most satellites cost, and I bet you could launch it as a companion device(ie... just in case).

Re:Telstar 4 down, ABC will now suck even more.

[Anonymous Coward]

How bout we just bounce the signals off your old ladys ass. Christ knows its a big enough target.

Re:Telstar 4 down, ABC will now suck even more.

[sik puppy]

Abc used T4 as a primary feed, and also as a network HD feed. Made for an interesting scramble to move things around today.

Though personally I would love to see all that soap opera crap disappear along with oprah and all the rest of daytime television.

T4? Skynet?

[Anonymous Coward]

Uhhhh....

I'll be back ?

not on slashdot!

[commodoresloat]

where every lame Simpsons reference, no matter how irrelevant to the topic at hand, goes to +5 funny in seconds. easy karma. but hey, the Simpsons is a great cartoon, and I, for one, welcome our new yellow animated overlords!!

Re:not on slashdot!

[Anonymous Coward]

Funny moderations don't get you karma anyway.

mod parent up +5 funny

[Anonymous Coward]

that was so fucking funny I just puked blood

I think I'm speaking for everyone here when I say

[Anonymous Coward]

Who the frig cares?

Seriously...

Ford Telstar?

[R33MSpec]

In Australia, a Telstar is a car. (A Ford 4 door hatchback made in the 80's and early 90's).
I was wondering why they had decided 'down' the 4th one they had.

Space junk

[tuxlove]

There is so much junk in orbit I'm surprised we don't lose satellites every day. I would not be surprised if an orbiting nut or bolt or somesuch gave T4 a sound whack. Makes me think of the old Devo song "Space Junk"...

MOD PARENT UP!!

[Anonymous Coward]

OMG, I wish I had mod points, that's the funniest hack I've seen in a long time.

Skynet confirms it

[damiena]

It is official; Skynet now confirms: Telstar 4 is dying.
One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleaguered sattellite community when Skynet confirmed that Skynet 4 downlink has dropped yet again, now to ZERO PERCENT of all broadcasts. Coming on the heels of a recent Skynet release which plainly states that Telstar 4 was to be replaced by a newer satellite, Telstar 8. This news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Telstar is collapsing in complete disarray.

You don't need to be a Kreskin [amazingkreskin.com] to predict Telstar 4's future. The hand writing is on the wall: Telstar faces a bleak, orbit decaying future. In fact there won't be any future at all for Telstar 4 because Telstar 4 is dying. Things are looking very bad for Telstar. As many of us are already aware, Telstar 4 continues to lose market share.

Telstar 4 is the most endangered satellite of them all, having lost 100% of its rebroadcast ability. The TVs are bare, static flows like a river of blood. There can no longer be any doubt: Telstar 4 is dying.

All major surveys show that Telstar 4 has steadily declined in quality. Telstar 4 is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Telstar is to survive at all it will be among satellite dilettante dabblers who care not for the One True Satellite: Telstar 8. Telstar 4's orbit continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Telstar 4 is dead.

Note to parent: NEVER use the words "confirms" and "dead" in the same sentence

T4 down

[Tacoguy]

T4 carries major C-Band backhaul video as well as numerous telephone intercontinental transponders. Usually when a "bird" only sends telemetry but has lost ability to function, it is due to loss of orbital stability. Reminds me of the loss of Anik E1 a number of years ago. Actually, Please see here which documents T4 today "Shut down after a short circuit of its primary power bus" Best Jeff

At least one paging company is out

[zaaj]

The paging company my company uses is out. They called me this morning to let me know a satellite problem had taken them offline, and had no ETA for coming back online. We don't do any life-dependant work, but I hate to think of what any hospitals that use them are having to deal with at this point.

Gee, and I keep thinking everyone knows this stuff

[BroadcastKid]

I always love reading stuff like this and realizing that in one or two areas of technology, I actually know something some other people don't - see, otherwise, I feel completely inadequate when people start tossing around TCP/IP jargon and such.

The T4 failure caused us only to have to re-point our WSI weather data antenna (that's the service we use that downloads all the pretty satellite pictures and weather radar the meteoroligist uses on the air) and move our UPN network backup dish. We also lost a couple of syndication feeds (we record a lot of the non-net programming you see ahead of time from satellite and play it back at it's correct time) - but I think they were things like "People's Court" and "Ricky Lake" so it's no great loss to have to run the backup shows ;-)

Other than that, we didn't really suffer much. There's not a ton we use on old T4 anyway, most of our critical stuff moved over to T5, T6, T7, AMC-3 and other newer birds a while ago.

T4 dies

[CheapEngineer]

http://www.prnewswire.com/cgi-bin/stories.pl?ACCT= 104&STORY=/www/story/09-19-2003/0002020695&EDA TE=

NEW YORK, Sept. 19 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ -- Loral Skynet, a subsidiary of
Loral Space & Communications (OTC Bulletin Board: LRLSQ), today said that its
Telstar 4 satellite experienced a short circuit of its primary power bus today
at 8:56 am EDT, causing the satellite to cease operations. Loral Skynet
immediately made capacity available to most Telstar 4 customers, many of whom
have already had their services restored on Loral's Telstar 5 and Telstar 6
satellites.
Loral Skynet and Lockheed Martin, the manufacturer of the satellite, are
working to determine the cause of the problem and to restore service on the
satellite, if possible. The satellite is insured for $141 million.
Telstar 8, currently under construction at Space Systems/Loral, will
replace Telstar 4, as planned, at 89 degrees West in mid-2004.
Telstar 4 coverage includes the continental U.S., Alaska, Hawaii, Puerto
Rico, U.S. Virgin Islands, and southern Canada. Telstar 4 was launched in
September 1995.

(Where I work, T4 is backup for CBS, and has several data channels for our Weather Graphics System - that required a retune to T5. BTW, there is *always* a "backup/replacement" satellite in the pipeline to replace existing satellites)

Troll?

[Anonymous Coward]

Metamoderation: -1 no sense of humor. A joke is not a troll, even if you don't think it's all that funny.

Come on chap...

[Anonymous Coward]

I need the most important information of all: has the number of posts to usenet about Telstar 4 gone up or down?

T4 info..

[doormat]

T4 used to carry a lot of the backhaul feeds for the networks. Simpsons, Everybody loves Raymond, etc. Its dropped off recently due to networks switching to digital feeds, but it still used to be the only way to watch Simpsons at 7am saturday morning...

T4 dying is a good thing.... Sorta

[konrrig]

Actually, people at Loral have been wanting T4 to die for a long time. It's lived quite a few years past it's life expectancy and as long as it was up there, no one was ordering the replacement... And if you've been watching Loral's stock and business news you'll see that they really need new orders. Not that it matters much to me as a not so recently laid off exemployee, but I'm sure someone is pleased..

Unfortunately

[TheOnlyCoolTim]

I'm not a satellite expert or anything but one of the things that keeps costs down on these satellites is that they can't fly around. It's not practical for cost to build a satellite that can zip around all of space...

Tim

Oh great...

[rune2]

I think that's the first time we've Slashdotted a satellite.

Who the hell cares about NPR?

[Anonymous Coward]

Except for a bunch of sweater wearing fags?

Re:Who the hell cares about NPR?

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm a sweater-wearing fag, you insensitive clod!

Obligatory Simpson quotes

[digitalamish]

I, for one, welcome our alien overlords!

I called skynet

[geekoid]

and they just asked me where Sara Conner is at.

Excellent!

[SnappingTurtle]

I'm serious, man, you did a perfect job of capturing a scene from some science fiction story.

The weird thing is... your piece really rings a bell in my head. The tone and style sound just like sci-fi stories I've read, if only I could think of where. Something about calling (not emailing) the wife to say he's going to be home late especially sounds familiar.

Anybody have a clue who Waffle Iron is spoofing? Asimov? Sagan? Clarke?

Re:A list of channels

[nacturation]

So what should we assume about the "PBS X" channel, considering all the other pr0n related channels carried....

You're obviously referring to the Pubic Broadcasting Service.

Capture of Hacked Loral Site

[virtigex]

can be found here.

Re:T4 dying is a good thing.... Sorta

[Anonymous Coward]

The order was already in to Space Systems Loral to build the Replacement Telstar 8. It is supposed to be launched next year. Besides, Space Systems Loral, and Loral Skynet are part of the same parent Loral Space & Communications, so it's really not income since the money comes from the same company.

Well...

[Anonymous Coward]

At least Teletran 1 is still up.

Cat got your tounge?

[Anonymous Coward]

I just checked a few minutes ago and there are CW carriers up on 11700 MHz V & 12200 MH

Wow! Where do I get a 11700 MHz computer?

Reply to Tom Clancy's first Slashdot post

[titzandkunt]

Nice one Tom, but your didn't say:

How thick the plexiglass was

The overpressure rating of the plexiglass

What kind of gun (sorry, weapon) McMurray was carrying, his preferred load, and it's effects on the human body at a range of 10 yards.
...Are you ill?

T&K.

Re:T4 dying is a good thing.... Sorta

[csirac]

Waiting to die? It was launched in '95 and was expected to complete 12 years service. http://www.cyberstar.com/fleet/telstar4/t4ov_us.as p "Began service: 11/95" http://www.cyberstar.com/fleet/telstar4/tech_doc4. pdf "Telstar 4 is a three-axis-stabilized hybrid satellite capable of providing both C-band and Ku-band communications coverage to CONUS, Alaska, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico/U.S. Virgin Islands for 12 years." That means that if it survived to 2007, it made it's mission. As far as I can tell, it's stopped short... So I'm a smart-arse ;-) - Paul

This story

[00_NOP]

At the risk of losing karma for being "offtopic" I want to say thanks for posting it. Like a lot of people I didn't know much about satellites and I think my knowledge is up by about 400 - 500% now.

As to the question "what difference does it make to me?" - that is simply another way of asking "who cares if XXXX runs Linux" - the point is we are geeks, we care about technical knowledge and now we have some more.

Telstar 8 has another purpose...

[Shoten]

According to the site referenced in the posting, Telstar 8 is intended to serve an entirely different region. While T4 is oriented at North America, T8 is (according to the site) planned to service South America.

This glossary is FANTASTIC!

[LiberalApplication]

...I've never felt more informed in my life! Edumucation, here I come!

GAIN CONTROL - Gain Control of the transponder is done via TT&C commands to the Flux Control Attenuator (FCA) in the satellite. The FCA is used to set the incident flux density necessary to saturate each transponder (SFD).

Wowzers!

Quick!!!

[pantycrickets]

Get the president on the horn, this could be a Defcon 5 situation!!

Asimov wrote this story already

[devphil]

At least, I think it was him. It's a short story about comm sats which gradually become self-aware. As our information passes through them, they learn from it, helped by other sats which are already "alive" and shepherding them along.

When we think they break down and go offline, it's actually the sat just getting bored and/or frustrated with humanity. They only talk amongst themselves after that point...

...trying to decide how best to help us, and exactly what/how that "help" should mean...