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How Zombies Work
Tsaroth writes "Just in time for everyone's Halloween fantasy, a horde of undead minions to collect candy for you; HowStuffWorks.com has just put up a new article about How Zombies Work. From Haitian zombies, to Dawn of the Dead it's more fun with corpses than you've ever had, hopefully." Ewww. From the article: "It happens in just about every zombie movie -- a throng of reanimated corpses lumbers toward the farmhouse, shopping mall, pub or army base where the heroes have barricaded themselves. The zombies aren't dead, but they should be. They're relentless and oblivious to pain, and they continue to attack even after losing limbs. Usually, anyone the zombies kill returns as a zombie, so they quickly evolve from a nuisance to a plague."
Braaaaains!
Braaaaains!!
BRAAAAAAINSSS!!!!
Norman Cook's Ode to Sl
I guess Zonk loves Zombies. To each his own.
Writhe your naked ass to the mindless groove.
Federal Undead Management Agency spokesperson Dr. Sheena Aurora downplayed the ZPI report, arguing that zombies move slowly and can be easily overpowered. Aurora advised citizens to look over their shoulders frequently, adding that a large shopping mall can serve as a "long-term, even fun" refuge from zombies.
Such assertions alarm zombiologist Olivier Baptiste, who calls FUMA's information "hopelessly outdated."
"Dr. Aurora's claims are based on decades-old zombie models," Baptiste said. "Widely released evidence from recent years clearly shows that zombies can run just as fast, if not faster, than a living human."
Added Baptiste: "That FUMA trains its field agents to shoot zombies in the torso, rather than the head, demonstrates just how out of touch the government is."
Carousel is a lie!
Next up: how elves, fairies, and eskimos work!
Another Zombie story - it's like the Night of the Living Dead around here.
In other words, a typical geek Friday night.
Got these guys on speed dial (just in case...)
I always thought it started when you hadn't properly disabled the DCOM service!
"I'm going to f***ing bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to f***ing kill Google"
http://www.sothisisacomic.com/Zombie/zomb3.html has an implementation of a zombie invasion simmulation and shows infection progessing through a city and the efforts of the military as well. An excellent resource for those seeking to better understand zombies.
Lasers Controlled Games!
My wife seems like a zombie in bed sometimes. How can I get her to watch more porn?
And All I Ask is a Tall Ship And a Star to Steer Her By
Everywhere i go i make sure that if a Zombie busts in i am ready.
1) Look for exits and ways to block them.
2) make sure that there is aways blunt objects or shot guns
3) if there is a shot gun, and there is less that 10 shells. Give the gun to the weakest member of the party. They are goign to die frist, and there is little a gun with that few shots is going to do
4) what zombie moves everychance you get. Take notes on what goes right and what goes wrong.
Mikey
I've always been the kinda guy to fall for the girl dressed like an eskimo.
Position yourself above the ground floor of a structure, then promptly demolish stairs leading to said floor. This technique will thwart both classic Romero style oaf-zombie, as well as the current new fangled fast and flighty zombie.
If I'd wanted to know how Zombies worked, I'd examine the logs of one of my many 0wned windows boxes over the net some time.
Oh, you mean real zombies!
"Nine times out of ten, starting a fire is not the best way to solve the problem." - my wife
But I'm writing to tell everyone of my favorite zombie movie: Shaun of the Dead.
It is hilarious. Two stoners wind up in the middle of a city full of zombies and decide to be action heros. But it doesn't work out quite perfectly. Check it out this Halloween.
Comment forecast: Bits of genius surrounded by a sea of mediocrity.
As George Romero showed in Dawn of the Dead zombies are dead ... but they keep coming back to life. Kinda like the inflateable Frankenstein that web surfers keep trying to kill.
Killing a zombie with a severe blow to the head is too much work. My preferred way is with kill -9 pid.
Unless, of course, they are vegetarian zombies. I have lots of grains to spare.
Be relentless!
L1nux users are just like mindless zombies.
Murrr... Open... Source. Grah... Linus...
These days I'm not sure which comes in first more often. Fark often has Slashdot submissions, and they are clearly marked so. Lately it seems that lots of stories/links are showing up on Fark first! Since both sites are basically the same functionally, with a comedy vs. geek thing, I'm not sure it even matters. Just something that I was going to write a joke about until I realized I'm not funny (check my last link for example).
Anyway, when I first saw this on Fark I was hoping to get more of a The Serpent and the Rainbow breakdown of the drugs/herbs/poisons involved in the Haitian voodoo practices. Then I realized pretty much everyone is going for the whole Halloween thing now and ditching "real" articles.
Oh well, time to hit the bottle.
put the what in the where?
Terrorist forces are preparing to unleash an unholy wave of destruction as our own re-animated dead become their soldiers of conquest in America!
Petey the Pistol reminds you "Destroy the brain"!
Do YOU have what it takes to defend America against a brutal onslaught of corpses?
*Petey the Pistol is a registered trademark of the NRA. Blades do not run out of ammo.
The printable version has it all on one page. Repeat after me: the web isn't print. There's no reason to split this into 6 pages.
...can you see our heroes run like hell away from the zombies, yet it always seems that their slow lurching pace still brings them closer and closer...
And their proximity always affects a newfound auto's ability to start with one turn of the key.
Incidentally, a co-worker of mine was one of the extras in that zombie movie shot at the mall. But he ended up on the cutting room floor. Strange, he always looked like he never took off the makeup...
I think these guys know how zombies work, and how to fight them.
So you'll survive the initial attack. Eventually you'll run out of supplies.
Instead, get a boat and plan on eating a lot of fish for a while.
Do zombies continue to decompose? Will they, eventually, turn into animated skeletons?
In order to prepare for a zombie attack one needs two things: The Zombie Survival Guide, and of course, a holy symbol. Or is that vampires that need a holy symbol? Anyway, I've got my Jewish star ready!
We prefer the term living impaired, Thank You very much.
*ahem*
I almost forgot.
BRRRRaaaainnnzzz!!!
This... is my BOOMSTICK!!!!
I've noticed in recent years that a lot of people I meet secretly harbor very intense apocalyptic fantasies.
Not the "Oh wow, Threads was some crazy shit, imagine that happening" or some religiously motivated desire to bring about a biblical event, but a genuine sense of "Go on, fuck it, let the zombies rise, let the plagues spread and if I'm lucky I can ride it out."
When the fake news reports appeared regarding a disease in Cambodia that briefly animated the dead, the most common first reaction I encountered by those who believed it to be from a reputable source was "Fuck YES". For a moment, I was aghast, and then I realized part of me was whispering the same thing.
Sorry no pertinent links, but there are ways to create a zombie in real life. Certain african tribes possess a poisonous powder, that when blown into an enemy's face will cause convulsions, and then a deep coma. When the victim awakens, all of his/her high level mental facilities are gone, and is only able to accomplish teh simplest commands: kill, walk, etc.
:)
All of this was depicted in a grand series of b-rated movies, but this stuff does have scientific foundations. This information has deep roots in African lore, as well as some of the darker Christian texts. While none of this can be proven conclusivly, the point is - its possible
I keep seeing things taken from Fark.com on Slashdot more and more often. This was posted on Fark at 1:25 PM here: Zombies. Is this site simply becomming a place where the more interesting Fark articles get a second printing?
"The television is the retina of the mind's eye" - Videodrome
Buy Steampunk Clothing Online!
While on the subjuct: The Zombie Anti-Defamation League has their own take on the nature of being a Zombie. Most of it is very funny. The sections on Flesh Eating Virus (such as, "doing ministry work"), Practical Zombriety, General Faq ("4. Are Zombies dangerous? - No, no, no, no, no! Well, maybe. If vexed. Are the living dangerous? ...), Zombie Spirituality, and Brain Eating ( "...Yes Zombies eat Brains, but only on certain holidays or under special circumstances. This practice's origin is twofold: Practicality and the teachings of Zombie Jesus....") are worth reading.
The man page states the following:
" Our mission is to act as a consciousness raising guide to counter the lies, misrepresentations, exploitation of Zombies by the Vitalist Machine of Propaganda that is Hollywood and "Popular Culture" in the world.
Too long have our Zombie Sisters and Brothers been represented as mindless aggressive flesh eaters, bent only on the destruction of the Living. The Truth, as is so often the case, is very different.
Please take time to explore our site and learn the Truth about Zombies. Here, the true causes and conditions of Zombiedom will be explained and the lies will be show for what they are.
Rise and Fight the Vitalist Hate Machine!"
I was expecting an article describing how home PCs are attacked and turned into remotely controlled spambots.
My rights don't need management.
I'm currently fighting off a zombie attack, so I don't have time to RTFA.
Could someone please summarize the part about how to kill them?
Also, how do you treat a zombie-bite wound? Band-aids, some neosporin? This one on my ankle hurts like a bitch, and it's starting to go kinda numb around it.
K thx bye.
Zombie, zombie, zombie, zombie, zombie, zombie...
what do we want?
brains!
when do we want it?
brains!
Ah yes, the number one rule in any situation, including Zombie Self Defense. Don't Panic. Rule two is, of course, always have your towel!
Try actually thinking for yourself. It's quite refreshing.
http://www.rodargent.com/
I wonder if this has any relation to Mr. Brain's recent denouncement of God.
Nothing taught me more about the Zombie Survival Guide. It is a great book, humorous in its subdued delivery and content. Great stuff!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"First things first -- but not necessarily in that order"
-- The Doctor, "Doctor
For the few of the who actually RTFA I would suggest taking extreme care. The article makes many false statements about the undead hoards and may lead some into the false idea that they were prepared for a zombie outbreak. For the record, a Zombie is a corpse which has been infected with the virus Solanum. The bites are infact 100% contagous. The rough time from a bite to full transformation is 15 hours, although this varies based on how close to a major vein or artery the bite occured. The bite leads to apparent death, followed by rising no more than 2 minutes after initial death. .22 caliber bullets are often rarely effective for fighting zombies as they lack the power to penetrate a skull from a distance. Air rifles are useless. Shotguns are often ineffective as they spread the blast over a large area. If you find yourself in the midsts of a zombie outbreak also be sure to avoid fully automatic weapons. It only takes 1 bullet to the brain to stop a zombie, and a fully automatic weapon can encourage the wasting of bullets. The sound will also have a tendancy to draw the undead from the surrounding areas. Often times a blade such as a sholin spade or a sword can be highly effective. A blade never needs to be reloaded.
A zombie can only be stopped by destroying the brain. This is usuallly accomplished through the use of a bullet. Fire can effectively destroy the brain- however be aware that setting a zombie on fire is not a sure thing, often times the fire will go out before destroying the brain, and in the mean time the flaming zombies will catch fire to the surrounding areas.
A few more tips should a zombie outbreak occur:
Always be prepared, stay in good physical condition and keep a supply of food, water, medical supplys and weapons on hand.
In a zombie outbreak other humans may be as or more dangerous than the undead.
Should people start evacuation you would be better off to wait until the roads have had a chance to clear if you are going to be using a vehicle, however using an automobile is often a poor way to travel when a zombie outbreak occurs as you will likely find streets block and lacker manuverability. Dirt bikes can be useful in helping you speed away off road but the sound can draw in zombies and they require gas. Your best option is a bicycle.
For more information read The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks(Link is not a referer link).
Famous Last Words: "hmm...wikipedia says it's edible"
Slashdot. Our stores are like the Energizer Bunny - on a bungee.
What's the current over/under on any one story getting reposted, anyway? 13 hours and 4 minutes?
Song Lyrics - Zombie Jamboree
Whats a vegetarian zombie say?
;)
GRRAAAAIINNNSS
... And what about Zombies? You never hear from Zombies! That's the trouble with Zombies, they're unreliable!
Skiers and Riders -- http://www.snowjournal.com
There was just an article on how MicroSoft fights Zombies. Oh, wait.
What happens when the zombies trying to get you are trampled by 1000's of other corpses? they will pile up you know! Don't worry. Just use an unpatched windows box as a decoy!
PETA has a vegetarian zombie comic book character:
Zombie Kid and Jim Mahfood
Is there anything stranger out there?
// file: mice.h
#include "frickin_lasers.h"
Really, zombies aren't so frightening except for their absolutely amazing ability to just shamble along slowly dragging their ruined feet and yet, somehow the frightened heros running from them with all their might can only stay JUST ahead.
Philadelphia (which is coincidentally where the Governor hails from) has a much higher Zombie Preparedness budget. Philly would no doubt be able to stave off a zombie attack reasonably quickly, with teams of shotgun-toting farmers ready at a moments notice.
How to Survive a Zombie Attack.
Our new Zombie Overlords!
I think there leaders name is Rob.
If you could reason with religious people, there would be no religious people
is that they don't work. Visit your local DMV for a clear demonstration.
"To those who are overly cautious, everything is impossible. "
I mail stuff often at the Post Office.
If you could reason with religious people, there would be no religious people
http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink624.html
kthx,R.
For one terrifying moment I thought /. was posting a detailed article on how spam zombies work, and how to detect and kill them.
Nevermind, back to the pre-halloween stuff.
You insensitive clods! We enjoy
Graaaaiiiinnnnsssssss!
-Foxxz
...and how is this relevant to "News for Nerds. Stuff that matters." ?
Did anyone else think that this was a same day dupe of the article about M$ doing Zombie testing to combat spammers?
I'm sorry, I'm to tired to be witty at the moment so this message will have to do.
I always wondered why, if most of 'em don't have anything to eat, why they don't just slow down/pass out after a few hours? What makes 'em go?
Graaaaiiiins!
Quote: "Science: How Zombies Work"
On Slashdot, zombies are science. The Slashdot article also advertises How Stuff Works.
Cars That Make Their Own Fuel are science, even though the cars are fueled with heavy blocks of Magnesium. The article also advertises an "investment opportunity" that seems fraudulent to me.
On Slashdot, Pillows that attack you while you sleep are science. (To me, that's far scarier than zombies.) The article also advertises an opportunity to contribute money to a "charity" that benefits pharaceutical companies.
On Slashdot, Men are more intelligent than women. The article advertises a university researcher.
On Slashdot, new methods of data compression can compress data much more than mathematics says is possible. The article advertises a company's press release.
On Slashdot, It is possible to get huge quantities of oil from shale. The article advertises Shell, and a scheme for further corrupting the government that could pay the corrupters billions of taxpayer money.
The Daily Texan (with gross photographs) reports on Thursday outside the Frank Erwin Center, a horde of zombies attacked the "American Idol" auditions. No one was hurt.
The zombies, 15 fake-bloodied actors in all, lurched out from under the IH-35 overpass and shuffled toward the Erwin Center, where they encountered the pop-star hopefuls.
Most of the 100 or so young people gathered outside had just been rejected by the "American Idol" review board, and they were talking, singing and waiting for rides home when the zombies arrived. "Braaaaaaains!" the zombies said. Nick Muntean, a UT radio-television-film graduate student who organized and participated in the zombie horde, added, "Television rots your braaaaaaains!" The pop-star wannabes were largely unimpressed.
Seen on Blue's News. I wonder if there are video clips of this!
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
Seriously, I did too.
There have been lots of articles lately on Zombie machine spawned issues.
Logically one would expect someone to dissect how these zombie networks work?
I know its been done, and I should just search for it, but hell this is news for nerds I come here for my nerdly news.
there are no zombies. the political-types that lurch around violating laws and abusing the people are not zombies, they are just naturally gray and stinky ;)
if this is supposed to be a new economy, how come they still want my old fashioned money?
Please, somebody mod the anti-semetic douchebag down.
(for anti-semetic comments, read his first link... Enough for me.)
I think calling Anita Blake would be a good idea right about now. Sadly, she's probably off screwing Jean-Claude again. (Which makes me wonder how long it will be before "How Vampires Work" appears!)
i am a soviet space shuttle
One of these pictures is for a zombie movie ad on their Xenutron screen. The other one is for one of their organizations. I forgot which is which. And I think this one is a mind-flayer or something.
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
without a fork()?
..don't panic
It's a human head, with the top opened up, exposing its tasty innards. Coincidence?
Just heard, The Onion is working on /. acquisition.
All this is just preliminaries to check reader acceptance.
Er, or is it the otherway around?
the media is so confusing these days!
maybe they have been always together...
Based on the "* of the Dead" series:
The virus that causes the dead to revive actually puts the brain into a quasi comatose state, which is why the recently dead rise to crave human flesh, by stimulating the primative sections of the brain. As time goes on, the brain begins to slowly recover it's reasoning faculties, eventually awakening from it's comatose state.
Thusly, the people who haven't been killed by the virus are in essense, committing mass euthenasia by killing those who were infected, because of a lack of proper treatment or control systems.
Just because you can mod me down, doesn't mean you're right. Shoes for industry!
does this explain how these guys work? http://www.razorbackrecords.com/zombie.htm
How long will the power last when the zombies arrive? As usual, Straight Dope has an answer!
I'm currently fighting off a zombie attack, so I don't have time to RTFA.
Could someone please summarize the part about how to kill them?
Help desk to the rescue!
(Whips out user guide)
Congratulations! Your new Zombieplex 666 unit by Hell is durable and designed to work out of the box. Your new Zombieplex 666 does not need a power supply, as it remains in an always on state. Removing peripherals will not affect system operation. To deactivate the Zombieplex, simply smash the central processing unit. In the event of system error please call the HELL tech support hotline at (1-800-GET-SOME).
Also, how do you treat a zombie-bite wound? Band-aids, some neosporin? This one on my ankle hurts like a bitch, and it's starting to go kinda numb around it.
Corruption of system files is imminent, Followed by the Green Screen of Death. Sorry dude you'll need to reboot....
Service guarantees Citizenship! Questions Guarantee GITMO.... Amerika Uber Alles!
HowCompletelyMadeUpShitWorks.com. Great. That's really useful.
Surely this should be +5 Informative ?
What does a zombie cow eat anyway, "Graaaaaaaas". Sorry not scary.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
Some recent zombie movies, like "Shaun of the Dead", adhere faithfully to the Romero zombie conventions and make frequent references to his work. Others depict faster, more intelligent zombies. Films like "28 Days Later" keep the basic structure of a zombie film but do not portray actual zombies. (In "28 Days Later," people are infected with a virus that takes effect in seconds - they don't actually die until they eventually starve.) A few recent movies and games throw all these conventions aside, presenting zombies that move quickly and can think for themselves, much to the chagrin of zombie purists.
If you have not seen Shaun of the Dead, go to great lengths to see it this halloween - I kid you now, if you do not loose bladder control at the simple utterance of the word 'cornetto' then you too may be a zombie.
This film is brilliant! Also 28 days later is cool, but see Shaun of the Dead first! I kid you not! You will not find a more intelligent yet funny film EVAR!1 Not gory or scarey, pure laughs.
#hostfile 0.0.0.0 primidi.com 0.0.0.0 www.primidi.com 0.0.0.0 radio.weblogs.com
You might want to get that looked at (by a doctor)... It might help the situation with your wife.
"#1 Don't panic."
In big, friendly letters, that is. This indeed had to be in the first place.
"#2 Get away from the zombies. Most of the time, you can move faster than they can."
Of course. duh.
"#3 Gather food, water, an emergency radio, flashlights and weapons,
and retreat to a secure location."
Possibly the best way to deal with zombies. Also, note zombies seem more common in the U.S. then elsewhere. Not all of Europe is safe; you don't want to replace zombies with vampires. the UK is known to host a strain of virus which will make people agressive in seconds; some vampires moved to F rance. Avoid eastern Europe. Sweden, Denmark and Ireland are safe. Holland has no recorded zombies or vampires, but is densely populated, which makes it a risk and thus should be avoided.
"#4 If possible, retreat to a shopping mall, general retail store or other location where you'll have easy access to food and supplies."
No, no, no. Do NOT retreat to a shopping mall. Haven't these people watched the movies? A shopping mall looks like a good idea but it will be surrounded by the zombies and eventually you'll have to get out of there, at which time it's too late. See #7.
"#5 Stay away from heavily populated areas, where the infestation is likely to be heaviest."
Fair enough. See #3.
"#6 Barricade all entrances and stay put at all costs."
No, this does not work. The zombies will stay around longer than you can. See #4.
"#7 Don't get surrounded or backed into a corner or other enclosed space."
As is obvious, the importance of this is often overlooked. Do not retreat in a house, shopping center or other closed space, with the possible exception of vehicles that are in condition to drive. Cars are documented as the most successful way to get away from zombies.
"#8 Remember that anyone bitten or killed by a zombie will become a threat to you and your party."
Blow their brains out. I mean, with a gun, that is. If no gun is available, decapitation will work.
"#9 Wait patiently for rescue and make long-term preparations for your survival."
No. You need to stay on the move. See #7.
That said, this assumes zombies have no feelings and that it is a horrible state to be in. It is not proven, hoewever, that being a zombie isn't actually 'the next level' and such a wonderful experience that they absolutely positively must share it. Why else would they go through all the trouble? Will someone please think of those poor zombies?
Visit http://ringbreak.dnd.utwente.nl/~mrjb/growingbettersoftware to download your free copy of the book
... with their Zombie investigation!
5 6236&tid=111&tid=123
http://it.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/10/28/19
I'll probably be modded down for this...
You will need:
A BLUE PEN
A RED PEN
A sticky-note for each zombie
A fire-proof wall with a nearby open window covered by a good screen and a quick-reload electron gun
Some shells, preferably K or X shells; to packet some heat across the battle-network when you are safe behind the window
Here is how a priest accomplishes the task: get on top to see where the zombies are coming from, designate a list of numbers to identify the zombies, write a number for the zombie on a note with the BLUE PEN, throw the note on a zombie's forehead, run behind the wall behind the open window, get a shell and write using the RED PEN "kill -s TERM " and the given identity number, execute, return the carriage, and repeat for each unique zombie. If you don't hide behind the wall when you execute, then some fragmented bits will splatter on your localhost; causing an infection to spread to you, the parent process; becoming a zombie to the evil BEOWULF CLUSTER of BITTORENT and FREENET users in posession of the Soule Cubicle!
[this warning brought by the DMCA, because in soviet UNITED STATES the zombies are YOU too!]
without prejudice
How do you talk to your sleeping bag? Or is your wife unconventional kind that yelps *woof woof* at you? A friend of mine keeps his wife in a box; the wife only exists on paper, called a Certificate of Marriage. In many countries, such as the Great Satans, it is illegal to have a wife, so they issue a Marriage License instead of little countries that tolerate wifes by a Certificate of Marriage.
wivyrns are over-rated.
Tubalcain!
To confirm you're not a script,
please type the word in this image: mosses
Oh really? And I was trying to find a way to kill the zombies in my backyard... Come on now... Can the people at HowStuffWorks become serious? *Everybody knows that a zombie is killed by singing Madonna to it... -_-
http://polaralex.blogspot.com http://www.polaralex.tk *Define Reality*..*
In the new Doctor Who series, the Doctor and Rose attempt to use this method (stairs) to thwart a Dalek. It doesn't work though as we quickly find out that Daleks can fly. Sorry, I can't find a link to the specific scene.
First corpse?
May I be the first to say:
I was a Slashdot zombie!
And nets, if you're badly stuck, netting with barbs at the thread crosses will slow down or incapacitate a good few zombies and let you make good your escape.
What he can't kill, he has sex on. Trent.
For all your Zombie defense simulation needs.
Zombies!!!
-------- This space intentionally left blank --------
They have Windows installed!
I've never known anyone who is Jewish who could not spell "Semitic". Jewish people I've known have been very well educated. (However, when I say this, my Jewish friends always tell me they have known Jews who were poorly educated.)
So, I suppose you are not Jewish.
In the link to which you are referring, I express ideas that are common among Jews. You are not helping Jews when you try to suppress these opinions, you are hurting them.
Particularly, the corruption of the U.S. government by Jews is destructive toward them, not helpful. The U.S., by a process of embezzlement of taxpayer money, supplies free weapons to Israel. This has made the conflict there much worse.
In my opinion, the IsraCast web site is not honest. There seem to be many calls for "investment" in schemes which are not founded in scientific fact.
Never go to the basement! Go up the stairs and then destroy them.
Some months ago, there was a great guide on Kuro5hin: How to Survive a Zombie Attack. Certainly worth a read.
Easy, just kill all the headcrabs.
The days of the digital watch are numbered.
In 12 easy steps http://www.deviantart.com/view/16278832/
I reject your reality, and subsitute my own
My favorite part of this: on page two, they talk of how Cane Toads can be used to make zombies.
I appreciate Cane Toads, if you hadn't guessed.
- Tim Skirvin
Hotline Voice: Worcestershire sauce emergency hotline, this call might be monitored to ensure you the highest quality service, how may I help you?
....
Kyle: There's a bunch of zombies here!
Hotline Voice: Please hold.
Hotline Voice: For regular sauce, the first thing you need to do is make sure that you do not just go out and start decapitating zombies left and right. Do you understand? Do not start decapitating zombies left and right!
Kyle: Uh, okay. Then what?
Hotline Voice: All you have to do is kill the original zombie. The one that started the whole mess. Once you kill the original zombie, all the others zombies will turn back to normal.
Kyle: Original zombie? Well, how the hell do we know who the original zombie is?!
Hotline Voice: We realize you have a choice in worcestershire sauces, we are delighted that....
Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
I realize in pop culture, Zombies are supposed to say "Braiins", etc., but in what movies do they actually do that? I mean, that pop culture meme had to come from somewhere -- the zombies from the "Night of the Living Dead" and similar movies generally don't speak at all.
Yeah, I'd like to know how to make Zombies work! Freaking lazyass layabouts all of them. They never pull their own weight... they are just a bunch of parasites living undead off the living. Have you ever seen a bridge built by zombies? What about those highway adoption signs... "This stretch of road kept clean by zombies." No. You don't see that - ever. What I am more conserned about is stopping zombies... this is why I like my 12 gauge. Classic slow zombies... the new fast european import zombies... 12 gauge works on all of them.
MadOgre.com
Try an Ask Slashdot.
It's rare that you're presented with a knob whose only two positions are Make History and Flee Your Glorious Destiny.
How is this news for nerds... who cares about zombies... at least if it was about botnets maybe but zombies...
kill -9 -1
Overexposure to FoxNews radiation seems to work.
--
make install -not war
Ok, how's about going back through those slashdot links and clicking on those article URL's. They DONT WORK. They take you to an obvious "i threw away the domain" search.
And anyways, who made you think Slashdot's honest? I never had that illusion.
I wish you'd just shut up, or at least join Baldrson at k5. He's a racist too, y'know?