Blizzard to Boll - DENIED!

Drathos writes "From MTV Movies Blog by way of WoW Insider: Everyone's least favorite director, Uwe Boll approached Blizzard about making a World of Warcraft movie. Their response? "We will not sell the movie rights, not to you ... especially not to you.""

Comments

WoW Movie

[Obsi]

Why couldn't Peter Jackson and some of Blizzard's cinematics team get together on it? I mean, Jackson DID take a large, well fleshed out world and adapt it to screen with AWESOME results.

Re:WoW Movie

[Serenissima]

He definitely did a decent job. I wouldn't go so far as saying it was an "AWESOME" job. It had good actors, great special effect, and story line hacked apart like a Hannibal Lector movie.

Re:WoW Movie

[CastrTroy]

Well, he (actually not him, the graphics effects people) did make it very pretty, but my overall level of excitement from the movie is pretty low. There was a lot of parts that just really dragged on.

Re:WoW Movie

[Xest]

I have to agree in a way, I've always liked the Warcraft series games and have always felt Warcraft III had one of the best storylines of any game I'd played.

I'd honestly rather see Blizzards people do the majority of the work as I honestly think they could do an as good if not better than job than Hollywood could. If it was animated I doubt they'd need much outside help, if not then primarily they'd just need actors and costumes people - certainly I don't believe they'd need any effects people or writers.

There are differences between film and game storyline creation certainly, but I think they could probably do it, certainly as you say with the help of a "game-friendly" director such as Jackson rather than someone whose about as good with the difference between films and games as Boll.

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

I have to agree in a way, I've always liked the Warcraft series games and have always felt Warcraft III had one of the best storylines of any game I'd played. I'd honestly rather see Blizzards people do the majority of the work as I honestly think they could do an as good if not better than job than Hollywood could. If it was animated I doubt they'd need much outside help, if not then primarily they'd just need actors and costumes people - certainly I don't believe they'd need any effects people or writers. There are differences between film and game storyline creation certainly, but I think they could probably do it, certainly as you say with the help of a "game-friendly" director such as Jackson rather than someone whose about as good with the difference between films and games as Boll. Well, there's no accounting for taste...

Re:WoW Movie

[Arrak Esterhazy]

Eh. I never really got into WoW myself, and I could live without a WoW movie.

But a Command & Conquer movie . . . that's another story. I'd love to see one of those. (Just keep Uwe Boll away from it, or I'll have to feed him to my sharks.)

Re:WoW Movie

[Culture20]

There was a lot of parts that just really dragged on. And a WoW movie will be different how? Grind, grind, grind. Grind, grind, grind. Raid! Grind, grind, grind.

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

...and people say the movies weren't true to the books.

Re:WoW Movie

[EnderGT]

My kingdom for a mod point... +1 Funny :)

Re:WoW movie

[elrous0]

You dream about WoW at night? No offense, but you need a break dude.

Re:WoW Movie

[XxtraLarGe]

if not then primarily they'd just need actors and costumes people I can't imagine a WoW movie NOT being CG...

Re:WoW movie

[loafula]

its not the dreams that tell me i need a break. its the fleeting thoughts of hitting that dude who cut me off in traffic with my wyvern sting that tell me i need a break.

Re:WoW Movie

[Impy the Impiuos Imp]

Worse, who wants to go see a movie where someone like Legolas has to shoot 200 arrows into an orc before it dies? Or Strider has to hit a goblin with his sword 300 times before it dies?

These aren't weapons. They're Nerf products!

Envision Frodo's spider scene. Now imagine the spider doesn't actually try to wrap him in webs, but just kind of barks at him. I've yet to see a game that actually has spiders fight the way a spider would, wrapping people up.

Re:WoW Movie

[bukowski01]

Blizzard is already in the process of making a movie. In fact they have already snagged the studio that did 300 for the filming.

Re:WoW Movie

[Impy the Impiuos Imp]

> Well, he (actually not him, the graphics effects people) did make [LotR] very pretty,
> but my overall level of excitement from the movie is pretty low. There was a lot
> of parts that just really dragged on.

So it was a very faithful reproduction of the books, then!

Re:WoW movie

[Achoi77]

You dream about WoW at night? No offense, but you need a break dude. what's worse? dreaming about WoW at night? Or dreaming about WoW at work?
actaully, don't answer that.

Re:WoW Movie

[Trent Hawkins]

And a WoW movie will be different how? Grind, grind, grind. Grind, grind, grind. Raid! Grind, grind, grind. In movies it's called a montage

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

I've yet to see a game that actually has spiders fight the way a spider would, wrapping people up. Go raid Zul'Gurub.

Re:WoW Movie

[Cornflake917]

The GP didn't say Jackson did an "AWESOME" job, he said that the results were awesome, which is hard to argue considering the success of the films.

However, I think he did a great job. Look at any book-to-movie adaption, aside from movies based off books that read like a movie, the movies always fail to capture everything from the book. Given the herculean task of moving the trilogy to less than 10 hours of film, I don't think anyone could have done a better job. Yes, there were some important parts missing but unless you enjoy sitting down for 5 hours straight (I don't), something had to be cut.

Re:WoW Movie

[techpawn]

I'd honestly rather see Blizzards people do the majority of the work as I honestly think they could do an as good if not better than job than Hollywood could.

Yes, because we all saw how well that worked for Square/Enix...

Re:WoW Movie

[markov_chain]

Well, presumably with Jackson it *would* be different. Boll, on the other hand, would faithfully reproduce what you said--just look at his other FPS movies.

*run around in the dark*
*shoot a bunch of monsters*
*run around more*
*shoot more monsters*
etc.

Re:WoW Movie

[Rayonic]

There's an ongoing meme that WoW is "using up" lore created from previous Warcraft games. And I'd have to say that this is true to an extent. We seem to be systematically killing all major lore villains, or helping the good ones resolve pre-existing plotlines.

Of course, WoW has come up with a lot of great original material. New villains/factions/etc. But we usually end up killing them also.

I can see WoW going on for a few more expansions, but after a certain point it'll get silly. Didn't Blizzard originally say that they wanted to stop at level 100? After that, they need to reboot the fictional universe somehow and start fresh.

A movie, set a number of years "after" WoW, would be a great way of doing that.

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

When the movie does (not if) come I'm hoping they base it on a PvP realm. So as our hero is grinding he gets jumped by 5 angry members of the opposing faction and just fucking dies.

This should also happen every ten minutes or so.

Re:WoW Movie

[cHiphead]

Because despite Warcraft 2 being my all time favorite game, the warcraft story line is half assed bullshit, a weak DnD wannabe.

If it has to be Blizzard related, I'd much rather see a Blackthorne inspired movie, or even Starcraft. (Note: Diablo's story line was too generic despite the initially fun 5 hours it took to beat the game the first time thru).

Cheers.

Re:WoW Movie

[stewbacca]

I hope you weren't talking about King King.

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

[...] unless you enjoy sitting down for 5 hours straight (I don't), something had to be cut.

I'm in a wheelchair, you insensitive clod!

Re:WoW Movie

[Serenissima]

I definitely agree. There was a lot of superfluous stuff that wasn't necessary to the movie. I don't have a problem with the removal of stuff; I just don't like it when stuff is changed that doesn't need to be changed. I loved the first movie. There were a couple changes that I didn't think were necessary but didn't detract from the overall plot. And then I watched the second movie. Faramir capturing the Hobbits to bring them to Gondor, the elves coming to Helm's Deep, etc. I remember watching that movie and saying "What the hell? That never happened!"

I certainly don't dislike the movies, hell, I have the Boxed Set of the Extended Edition DVDs. I really enjoy the movies. I also agree that it's definitely one of the best adaptions of a book (or books) that I've ever seen. However, I still don't think it was the best way to do it. Rather than just cut out un-necessary parts and make slight alterations to account for them, he went and straight-out changed things that were completely contrary to what actually happened.

So, while I do like the movies and I enjoy watching them, I still think that it could have been better. Jackson certainly didn't change a lot of the story, but those few niggling points grind on my soul like nails on a chalkboard whenever I see them in the movies. So, I'm sticking with my original idea of him doing a decent job overall.

Re:WoW Movie

[Smauler]

Quit being an old man and address the point rather than attacking the perceived person. LOTR, IMO is dull, both in book and film form. Crap all happens very slowly, the storyline is contrived and very simple, and the vast majority of characters are simplistic in the extreme. If you like it, so be it. Don't start hurling insults when someone criticizes it, especially not ones that have nothing to do with the criticism. This is coming from someone who has read probably a couple of thousand books, and no I don't want your pacifying drugs.

Re:WoW Movie

[pjt33]

I have often commented that the Lord of the Rings trilogy suffers from exactly the same problem as War and Peace: it has lots of characters, many of whom have two or more names/titles, so you need notes to enable you to remember who they all are.

Re:WoW Movie

[Raul654]

"Look at any book-to-movie adaption, aside from movies based off books that read like a movie, the movies always fail to capture everything from the book." - this is a textbook example of a No true Scotsman argument.

Re:WoW Movie

[SL Baur]

The grinding sequence was done really well by the Southpark guys.

I'd love to see a WoW movie that is up to Blizzard standards. I like the trailers they've made.

Re:WoW Movie

[DarthVain]

Grind? I think you are getting ahead of your self.

Here is my version of the REAL WOW movie:

King: You must defeat the great evil!
Player1: OK!

[Insert 1.5 hours of travel time (lightly jogging)]

Narrator: To be continued...

Re:WoW Movie

[tygt]

I definitely enjoyed the LoTR films, and also think Jackson did a good job.

However:

Yes, there were some important parts missing

It's not so much "important parts were missing" (Tom Bombadil was entertaining but IMO not an important part of the story) so much as "story was changed strangely", such as

• - Arwen's part substantially changed
  
• - Faramir, instead of being noble, was more like his brother
  

Re:WoW Movie

[Serenissima]

It would seem that in order to prove the above fallacy, you would have to find a movie that did, in fact, capture everything from a book. I don't think that's ever happened.

To use the True Scotsman Example:
Argument: No book/story has ever been fully captured in a movie.
Reply: Well, the movie XXXX has done that.
Rebuttal: Well, no TRUE book/story has ever been fully captured in a movie.

(Using the above terminology) If you can't come up with a Reply that disproves the Argument, then the whole discourse stops at the Argument. The Rebuttal never occurs and is therefore not fallacious.

If there are any movies out there that are completely identical to the books they're based on, then I've never seen them. I would argue that since the mediums are so different, it's impossible to ever have a movie like that (or at least, so highly improbable to be near enough to impossible).

Re:WoW Movie

[Dr. Cody]

Yes, there were some important parts missing but unless you enjoy sitting down for 5 hours straight (I don't), something had to be cut.

In regards to a WoW film, I think you may be on to something.

Re:WoW Movie

[morari]

I would sit through four or five hours for a truly great film. My personal views of the source material aside, Jackson used far too much CGI in large quantities that stuck out like a sore thumb. The large majority of CGI (not just in the Lord of the Rings trilogy) looks fake, either through poor lighting and texturing techniques or mechanical animation. It's the kind of thing that instantly destroys ones suspension of disbelief. At least stop animation / claymation is tangible and real. It's actually there, and thus avoids many of the obvious pitfalls that CGI suffers from. That's kind of the fad nowadays though, so it's not as is he's the only one to have made such a mistake.

Re:WoW Movie

[StarvingSE]

I would call Jackson's version of the story a near perfect film adaptation if it weren't for the damn army of the dead at the end. If he would have kept the battle of pelennor fields almost exactly like the book, it would have been so much better.

Re:WoW Movie

[geekoid]

The problem was he added stuff.

Yeah, there are a lot of things I would ahve liked to see, but I understand why they did it, and enjoyed the movies.

Re:WoW Movie

[isotactic]

You should see "Holes".

Re:WoW Movie

[jslater25]

I think that the average WoW fan would think anything less than a 5 hour movie would be unacceptable. Isn't the typical raid around 5 hours?

Re:WoW Movie

[Wreckdom]

As a former WoW (Horde) gamer I can see two kinds of responses to a WoW movie: 1) People who don't care. 2) People who are too hooked on Wow to care.

Re:WoW Movie

[Rorschach1]

I think the real problem here is that no big-screen movie treatment could possibly do justice to the actual WoW experience in the same way that South Park did.

Re:WoW Movie

[IdeaMan]

After level 100 they're going to sample your characters DNA and ship it off to this new planet called Rubi-Ka.
It will begin life there as a level 1 froob and progress through the ranks to a mighty level 200 (220 if paying the pusher).

Re:WoW Movie

[p0w]

The Maltese Falcon novel is practically reproduced in the Maltese Falcon film. John Huston adapted Hammet's novel and directed.

Re:WoW Movie

[Jesus_666]

Not to forget that important parts of the movie would take place on an island and during a raid on an abandoned mine. Also, Rogues could throw fireballs and the hero would be a Tauren goat-man working for the Alliance.

Yeah, he's not so big with faithful reproductions.

Re:WoW Movie

[nuzak]

Yeah, that Tom Bombadil was just so integral to the story.

Jackson did the best he could. I lay good odds that your realization of the movie would have sucked. Immensely.

Re:WoW Movie

[nuzak]

Okay, that looked -- no, was really nasty. Sorry about that. I do stand by my sentiment against armchair directing, but it didn't need to come out that vitriolic.

Re:WoW Movie

[nuzak]

If you can't come up with a Reply that disproves the Argument, then the whole discourse stops at the Argument. The Rebuttal never occurs and is therefore not fallacious.

Actually, that's kind of another definition of the No True Scotsman fallacy, involving moving the definition around in order to invalidate a rebuttal.

At any rate, you did include the counterexample in the argument: "aside from movies based off books that read like a movie". Those books are not True Scotsmen.

It's a rhetorical fallacy, so it's a a bit subjective. Especially that one, which involves subjective judgments about category membership.

Re:WoW Movie

[c0ol]

But there already is a WoW movie... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y25XCwOBSUQ

Re:WoW Movie

[nuzak]

> Faramir, instead of being noble, was more like his brother

I think Tolkein made Faramir impossibly perfect, but I think both Tolkein and Jackson omitted character development at both ends. Tolkein has Faramir boasting that he wouldn't pick up the ring if he saw it lying at the side of the road, but never even put that boast to the test. What, is he better than Gandalf and Isuldur combined? Jackson, on the other hand, doesn't include the boast at all.

Re:WoW Movie

[nuzak]

> At least stop animation / claymation is tangible and real.

You want Lord of the Rings by Ray Harryhausen?

Here's news for you: stagecraft and cinematography are, in the end, all illusion. The red cloth that spills out in opera death scenes? Not real blood either.

Re:WoW Movie

[ipxodi]

There was a lot of parts that just really dragged on.

So, just like the books then.....

Re:WoW movie

[Kaenneth]

When I play a game too much, I sometimes dream in the context of the game world.

The game I've mostly played to much of is Nethack, which causes some VERY odd dreams.

Maybe Boll could make a Nethack movie?

YASM?

Re:WoW Movie

[Sloppy]

I mean, Jackson DID take a large, well fleshed out world and adapt it to screen with AWESOME results.

I agree. His depiction of the Feebles was exemplary.

Re:WoW Movie

[Kokuyo]

Indeed, it takes a pure genious to make exciting films out of that kind of base material. How he managed to make people actually stay in the theaters for over thirty minutes when the story actually revolved around something Tolkien has written will forever remain a mystery to me.

Now do proceed marking me Troll, I don't care. I'll stand by my opinion that from a literary point of view, Tolkien's written garbage. While the guy did a fabulous job 'inventing' whole races and languages and so forth, the writing still remains atrocious.

Re:WoW Movie

[mdarksbane]

I think most complaints I've heard have been less about cuts than about pointless, damaging changes or additions.

There are probably 15-30 minutes of changed or added scenes in both Two Towers and Return of the King that changed characters and took up time that could have been either a) made the movies shorter and more palatable or b) been used to include more of the good stuff from the book.

I think overall he did a great job of capturing the look of the whole thing, and a decent job of capturing the main thrust of most of the characters - but some of the changes just kind of.. sucked, from a logical standpoint. Not to mention the character assassination on Faramir.

Re:WoW Movie

[IronChef]

I'd honestly rather see Blizzards people do the majority of the work as I honestly think they could do an as good if not better than job than Hollywood could.

Speaking only of the animation itself, Blizzard does not do those awesome cinematics in house, at least not all of them. Bigass talented companies still hire specialists, like Blur.

I'm sure Blizzard sets the content, of course.

Re:WoW Movie

[pressman]

Without a good script... there is no movie. Screenwriting is a unique form.

The script is the foundation for everything. The budget, the schedule, the shot lists, a guideline for the editor... you name it.

If they spend money on anything it should be a good screenwriter, a good director and a good producer... and an editor, but that's just because I am an editor.

They have all the animation talent they need already. Just need the key people who know who to tell a story properly on-screen.

Re:WoW Movie

[pressman]

Well, they would need good voice talent.

Re:WoW Movie

[pressman]

Word!

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

...and straight-out changed things that were completely contrary to what actually happened. ummm...you realize that orcs are fake and that none of that ever happened right?

Re:WoW Movie

[vacantskies9]

I need my Tom Bombadil fix.

Re:WoW Movie

[PitaBred]

Yeah. I totally get lost in the realistic portrayal of characters in Robot Chicken and Jason and the Argonauts, or even Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. Highly realistic.

Seriously... so what if there's "real" lighting on it? The small scale expansions (ginormous water droplets and the like) make a much larger chasm for suspension of disbelief to cross than a well-done CGI addition or scene.

Re:WoW Movie

[PitaBred]

Go study some arachnids. Wolf and jumping spiders wouldn't waste webbing on wrapping someone up.

You're letting your imagination get the better of you, and you're confusing it with reality.

Looks like they did a good job on the movie.

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

> the warcraft story line is half assed bullshit, a weak DnD wannabe.

Just want to get my agreement to the above in before the basement dwellers go ballistic. For the two months that I bothered playing WoW towards the end of 2004, my response to every quest giver was "*clickety* *click* *click* Who gives a fuck, asshole! *clickety* *click* *click*"

God, I can only imagine how contrived the warcraft novels are.

Re:WoW Movie

[Thuktun]

It's not so much "important parts were missing" (Tom Bombadil was entertaining but IMO not an important part of the story) so much as "story was changed strangely", such as

- Arwen's part substantially changed
- Faramir, instead of being noble, was more like his brother - The elves (above and beyond Legolas) participated in the Battle of the Hornburg.
- Merry and Pippin tricked Treebeard and the other Ents into attacking Saruman.

Re:WoW Movie

[Omestes]

Don't forget Gimli being mainly comic relief. This still bugs me. You could have removed Gimli from the movie completely, and it would have been like removing the monkey from Speed Racer, a better experience.

In the book he was useful, somewhat noble, and not terribly amusing.

Re:WoW Movie

[doktr thunder]

easy to argue

Bill Gates == SUCCESSFUL
  but
Bill Gates != AWESOME
  therefore
AWESOME != SUCCESSFUL

Re:WoW Movie

[beonarri]

I personally think that Jackson would turn it down. LotR was a fantasy movie and artistically speaking, doing another epic fantasy movie would be entirely boring. Also, I think he'd want to avoid turning into a typecast director, who could only do epic fantasy movies and nothing else.

Re:WoW Movie

[PakProtector]

> Faramir, instead of being noble, was more like his brother I think Tolkein made Faramir impossibly perfect, but I think both Tolkein and Jackson omitted character development at both ends. Tolkein has Faramir boasting that he wouldn't pick up the ring if he saw it lying at the side of the road, but never even put that boast to the test. What, is he better than Gandalf and Isuldur combined? Jackson, on the other hand, doesn't include the boast at all.

You really, really need to reread the dialogue between Faramir and Frodo. I had the distinct impression that he was sorely tempted to take the ring, just as Sam was tempted to keep it when he had possession of it.

Re:WoW Movie

[smellotron]

Excel!

Re:WoW Movie

[reddburn]

My MOM was run over by a guy in a wheelchair, you jerk!

Re:WoW Movie

[adona1]

Yeah, Diablo's storyline isn't anything mindbogglingly original, but it still could make an entertaining film. I always thought it was better than a lot of stories attached to point & click games, as the game itself is so straightfoward that there's very little roleplaying involved, and it needed something beside being a quick way to break your mouse ;)

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

Realism in games is a fine thing to have, but best in small doses. Truly realistic combat is not something that makes for very interesting gameplay.

Cue the usual comments about how interesting people think WoW isn't.

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

unless you enjoy sitting down for 5 hours straight (I don't), something had to be cut. I've no doubt that sitting and watching somebody play out their seccond life is a completely different experience to actually playing out your own, but I think a WoW movie would appeal to those who do enjoy sitting down for 5 hours straight playing WoW.

Re:WoW Movie

[Zalbik]

Quit being an old man and address the point rather than attacking the perceived person. LOTR, IMO is dull, both in book and film form. Crap all happens very slowly, the storyline is contrived and very simple, and the vast majority of characters are simplistic in the extreme. If you like it, so be it. Don't start hurling insults when someone criticizes it, especially not ones that have nothing to do with the criticism. This is coming from someone who has read probably a couple of thousand books, and no I don't want your pacifying drugs.

Well, let's just say that you opinion of both the book and the movie differs from most of the rest of humanity, and as such isn't really relevant to the rest of us. So why the heck would we be interested in it?

A couple thousand books?!? Assuming a book every two weeks, thats 80 YEARS of reading! And you're telling the other guy to quit being an old man?!?!

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm pretty sure his mom's busy tonight.

Re:WoW Movie

[Darby]

Tolkein has Faramir boasting that he wouldn't pick up the ring if he saw it lying at the side of the road, but never even put that boast to the test. What, is he better than Gandalf and Isuldur combined?

Gandalf didn't take the ring. Isildur didn't have the historical knowledge of the ring's treachery that both Gandalf and Faramir had, gained through the mistakes that he and his inheritors made.

So while Isildur did ignore good advice, he wasn't as guilty of poor judgment as Faramir would have been, had he taken the ring knowing what he did in the third age.

So, at least he's not saying that he's better than they are.

Re:WoW Movie

[Kalriath]

Maybe ask Legendary Pictures. After all, they have the movie rights.

Re:WoW Movie

[Kalriath]

Well, bad news then. It's not CG.

Legendary Pictures already has the movie rights, and Blizzard put out the press release two years ago.

Re:WoW Movie

[feyhunde]

A couple thousand books 80 years? Not if you read fast and like to read. I tend to knock out 3 books a week on my private time. I rather like reading, and have an extensive library. In college it was more like 6 or 7, so well over a thousand in my 4 years of undergrad.

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

Take a snap shot of the film, it looks more real. It is your eyes tricking you into knowing it is fake. With a freeze frame, while still not real, looks a lot better. Half of it is the inability for us to predict exactuly what a muscle will in fact do to a thing that doesn't exist.

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

You read a book every two weeks??? Oh my god, please go gain some literacy. I can read 500 pages in a few hours, and that is a small book. I don't consider myself a heavy reader either.

Re:WoW Movie

[Katchina'404]

I read a book every two YEARS, you insensitive...

Re:WoW Movie

[anandsr]

The Faramir incident was actually a problem in the main story. Why was Faramir not affected by the ring. He should have been. The fact that he wasn't affected was an aberration, which was fixed by Jackson. I like that it was fixed. Jackson must be a huge fan of the book to have understood this glitch, and have done something about it.

I don't remember the difference in the Helm's Deep part. Haven't seen or read it in over a couple of years.

Re:WoW Movie

[anandsr]

I agree with this. But I guess for such a long dark movie, some comic relief is required for the general public.

Re:WoW Movie

[RockModeNick]

I have to disagree, due to a single shining example in a world of darkness - the original Bushido Blade for PS1. The second game was movie style combat, and thus not nearly as good, but the first Bushido Blade made a really good attempt at a combat game with realistic rules. If you've never played, I suggest you find a way, it's really fun. It's slightly toned down, of course, any shot that would sever a limb and kill you in a couple minutes just kills you outright, as do major shots to the hips, thighs, or belly that would also be "slow kills." Dismemberment isn't portrayed, just an red splat of blood from the impact site for fatal shots and a little spark of it for wounds. It does MANY things right, though. A significant but nonfatal wound to a limb will render it useless, leaving an arm limp at your side or you crawling around on your knees to fight. A couple very small wounds do slow you down over time, making your attacks cumbersome and your guard easier to overpower. You can match any character with any weapon, though clearly, agility and power of a character will make some better choices than others, though always in interesting ways: a more agile character uses a lighter weapon much more quickly than more powerful character does, however, the more powerful character will be able to guard against attacks from the lighter character VERY quickly with the same weapon, and be more able to break the guard of the less powerful one. Both weapon size and character power strongly affect impact from a swing. The game mechanics, and in fact the game title, strongly affect the game story line. There is no arena in the story mode, except for the last couple fights, you're free to move about the entire dojo grounds, with a slightly interactive environment(you can get muddy from being knocked down in the mud, and slice down bamboo). Killing your opponent when they are talking to you before a match, or when you have knocked them to the ground will end the story line, and you lose, for dishonorable conduct. However, even if you win the game that way, you lose, because the fighters following you have all been your friends and associates from the dojo, tracking you down under orders from the dojo master because you were believed to have gone rouge because you ran off. The only way to get the REAL ending to the game is to refuse to kill your comrads, and win using the game environment. To do that, you must get to a well leading to an escape route from the dojo, without killing any of your friends on the way. You can have the first one follow you all the way, or lose a couple on the path(there are a couple locations where you can knock them off a large edge they can't climb up to resume combat, which will lead to a victory for you and the next opponent tracking you down shortly). Then, before jumping down into the well, you have to injure your opponents legs so they can't follow you down. Once in the well, you have to beat the challenge there. This is also one of your friends, but the animations shown after the fight show that at least for a couple characters, your victory didn't kill your opponent. After this, you escape across a helipad near the water, and encounter a gun wielding assassin, clearly hired from outside to kill you. You find out the dojo master hired him, and realize your friends have not turned on you after all, but that the doja master has declared you traitor and ordered your death. When playing strait through killing everyone you fight, this is some very bad news, but it's good news if you went way out of your way to NOT kill your comrades. This causes you to return, rather than escape, to kill the dojo master and make things right. After you defeat him, IF you have had a perfect game(followed the instructions here perfectly, AND not taken a single wound of any kind, even superficial) you get to fight the demon that had consumed the soul of the dojo master and had him turn on you. If you defeat the demon, you get your GOOD ending. Best sword fighting game EVER made, by far. The graphics are out of date, but the gameplay is still really fun, I recommend it to anyone that wonders what it might be like if a blade cut in a game, instead of taking tiny notches off an energy bar.

Re:WoW Movie

[Downside]

Are you saying that Middle Earth could have managed without a Jar Jar Binks?

Re:WoW Movie

[KDR_11k]

Once level 100 is tired nd played out mankind will discover space travel and WoW will seamlessly transform into WoStarcraft...

Re:WoW Movie

[NulDevice]

And a montage works best if you've got a bitchin' 80's soundtrack!

Re:WoW Movie

[drsquare]

Yes, there were some important parts missing but unless you enjoy sitting down for 5 hours straight (I don't), something had to be cut.

That may be a good point, if he hadn't added extra made up scenes. For instance, how can the omission of the Old Forest/Bombadil/Barrow Downs be justified when he includes scenes about Aragorn feeling sorry for himself in Rivendell, or a jumping puzzle in Moria, or any scene involving Arwen?

How can the Voice of Saruman part be removed from the Two Towers if there's time for Elrond's telepathic discussions, or a made-up battle with wargs, or Aragorn falling off a cliff and moping around feeling sorry for himself, or again any scene with Arwen?

Plus, how does completely changing a character's role in the story cut down on length? If anything, the part where Faramir drags Sam and Frodo to Osgiliath added time to the film.

Cutting out Arwen and Elrond's pointless parts would even have allowed time for Gandalf's confrontation with the Witchking. And those are all just off the top of my head.

And why was any single bit of subtlety in the story replaced by ramming special effects down the viewers' throats? Was it necessary for Denethor to jump off the ledge like some sort of fireball? Did Galadriel really need to turn into an OTT demon? Did the black riders need to screech every time they were on screen?

I've not even mentioned the acting, I won't bother asking why Sean Austin and Elijah Wood couldn't stop drifting into an American accent, or why the man who played Celeborn is the worst actor in the world (seriously, he had one single line and couldn't do it).

Re:WoW Movie

[v1k]

The Elves coming to aid the humans at Helm's Deep was not in the book. I actually liked the change.

Re:WoW Movie

[Cornflake917]

Great logic...except that it has nothing to do with what I said. I said Jackson did a great job because THE FILM was a success. I'm saying it would be hard to argue that Jackson did not a good job when you look at the box office numbers, the reviews of critics, and the overall reception of the movie. You can say he did a bad job at keeping consistent with the book, but I have yet to see anyone put up the case that he made a bad movie.

What the fuck does proving awesome isn't equal to successful have to do with anything I said?

Re:WoW Movie

[Impy the Impiuos Imp]

While it's true some spiders don't use webbing, most of the spiders in WoW and other games live in dens and areas with webs everywhere. In WoW's case, there are often wrapped up and struggling ornaments on display.

So...no.

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

I think a Peter Jackson Warcraft movie (or number of) would be -1 redundent.

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

A Matt Parker and Trey Stone one, +5 Funny.

Re:WoW Movie

[Monchanger]

I think GP meant a *sound* argument.

I find both of your premises to be potentially false, due to their ambiguous and subjective nature:

1) Bill Gates == SUCCESSFUL
True from a business standpoint, but often seen as false if you're talking about the technical merit of Windows and other Microsoft products.

2) Bill Gates != AWESOME
There are quite a few folks who are very excited about Microsoft's products, especially XBox gamers and PDC attendees. Oh, and don't forget all the starving kids in Africa who are given free computers. This statement would be at lease false, if not opposite to their opinion.

I also see fault with your use of the predicate "Bill Gates", which in the first premise should have read "Measure of Bill Gates business-wise" and in the second "Bill Gates' popularity with the ladies" (or most any other measure of macho coolness). Naturally, you can't use reach the conclusion using equivalence of the two predicate.

Due to these faults, there are also many counterexamples such as Eric Schmidt, where using your argument would produce the opposite conclusion.

Re:WoW Movie

[Chris Mattern]

Why was Faramir not affected by the ring. He should have been.

He was affected by The Ring. He was not overcome by The Ring. Why? Because he was a humble man who knew that, as a man, he was imperfect and limited. Unlike Boromir, who in his pride could not help thinking, "With me it would be different. I could take The Ring and use it for good," Faramir knew he could not master Sauron's evil. That enabled him to overcome the temptation. Note that Faramir *never sees The Ring*; it is only mentioned to him. Faramir explicitly instructs Frodo not to show him The Ring specifically so that he may avoid the temptation. He even asks the hobbits not to mention it again, and not just to avoid someone else overhearing. I'm sorry, this is not a glitch. This is Tolkien showing us how a good man avoids evil by intentionally avoiding temptation. By changing it, Jackson subverted that theme completely.

I don't remember the difference in the Helm's Deep part. Haven't seen or read it in over a couple of years.

It's pretty significant. The growing estrangement of Men and Elves is another big Tolkien theme. The Men of Rohan actually regard the Elves as evil, or, at the very least, no friends of Man. No Elf has been seen in Gondor for generations before Legolas enters Minas Tirith. In Tolkien's history of the War of the Ring, Man and Elf never fight together; the kingdoms of Mirkwood and Lothlorien only defend their own territories, and this also illustrates another of Tolkien's themes, the fading of the Elves. The Last Alliance was called that for a reason, you know. At the Council of Elrond, Elrond says there will never be another allying of Elf and Man. By having the Elves send a friggin' army to Helm's Deep, Jackson again sabotages a couple of Tolkien's important themes.

Re:WoW Movie

[hazydave]

His name is "Chim-chim", thank-you-very-much. And he is critical element of the whole Speed Racer gestalt. If you don't get Chim-chim, you're missing the who point...

Re:WoW Movie

[n00854180t]

How exactly can you "use up" villains in WoW? They respawn forever, indefinitely. Nothing ever changes in the game world, unless it's another static update of new (shitty/boring/poorly written) quests or a PvP item or some such garbage.

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

Did you like the books?

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

We see you rollin, we hatin'

a shame

[Anonymous Coward]

That's a shame, because if there's someone who could capture the sheer mundacity of WoW, I think it would be Boll.

Re:a shame

[Anonymous Coward]

Mendacity + Mundanity = Mundacity?

Re:a shame

[ajcham]

Nope: Mundanity + Audacity = Mundacity

Re:a shame

[Anonymous Coward]

Where is this Mundacity? Is it near Ironforge?

Re:a shame

[Wylfing]

Fade in to a low fly-by of a dwarf on griffin-back swooping over the trees of Winterspring. Cut to three adventurers (a human warrior with impossibly enormous shoulder guards, a female night elf with thigh-high boots and no pants encircled by a shimmering bubble, and a goatee-sporting gnome shifting back and forth with two giant-sized red-hot-glowing maces in his hands) on the ground looking up at the passing griffin rider. The camera swings to track the speeding flyer. Cut to an absurdly massive axe, crackling with electrical energy, cleaving the head of a white furbolg.

HUMAN - Pile those corpses high, Ihealuloolzzz. Lilkneestaßßer needs that agility enchantment, and those greedy beasts in Timbermaw Hold won't give it to us unless we kill enough of their enemies!

IHEALULOOLZZZ - By the light of Elune, Tànkérlordd, it shall be done!

LILKNEESTAßßER - Off and away!

Cut to 9-minute montage of our heroic trio slaying thousands upon thousands of furbolgs. Intersperse clips of them ripping beaded necklaces from their slain foes, and other clips showing them spilling gold-bound chests full of these necklaces onto the floor in front of the Timbermaw denizens. Over the course of the montage, we repeatedly see the face of an important-looking Timbermaw shaman. At first the face is frowny and angry, but over time it appears friendlier and friendlier.

Re:a shame

[Anonymous Coward]

That's a shame, because if there's someone who could capture the sheer mundacity of WoW, I think it would be Boll. Zing! haha.

Re:a shame

[nawcom]

Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Re:a shame

[An ominous Cow art]

To capture the proper level of 'realism', our heroes would also have to be constantly jumping around, like brain-damaged Mexican jumping beans.

Very well done, otherwise - my undead warlock did that mind-numbing grind.

Re:a shame

[Atzanteol]

But what about Chuck Norris?

Re:a shame

[Darinbob]

And don't forget the mailbox dancing scene for the unrated version.

Re:a shame

[Crazy Wolverine]

I don't know, how about those guys behind South Park? Oh, wait....

Re:a shame

[perrin_harkins]

What does "mundacity" mean?

Re:a shame

[Maserati]

Just stay out of The Barrens. Barrens chat is bad, mmkay ?

Re:a shame

[Anonymous Coward]

Sounds to me like you didn't get the Burning Crusade ... Stuck in Winterspring and all. :)

May I proudly proclaim...

[dintech]

Woohoo! This is a proud day for both gaming and movie making.

Re:May I proudly proclaim...

[dintech]

I hope the gaming suits and executives trying to learn everything the can from Blizzard's business model extend their eduction to this example too.

Re:May I proudly proclaim...

[Anonymous Coward]

Blizzard is just following suit with Beat 'Em and Eat 'Em. Tons of movies have been made based on that game.

Re:noo

[Jellybob]

Isn't it a bit painful whiping your arse with a DVD? And that hole in the middle is just asking for trouble.

I dunno...

[d3ac0n]

It can't be any worse than the WOW Pr0n I found on Pirate Bay recently.

Pr0n chicks in green and blue body-paint with fake elf-ears and horns.

Not nearly as hot as you would think it is. :(

Re:I dunno...

[Anonymous Coward]

Parent is a GNAA NIMP troll. Do not click. (Owned by noscript, cocksucker.)

Re:I dunno...

[Dancindan84]

Pr0n chicks in green and blue body-paint with fake elf-ears and horns.

Not nearly as hot as you would think it is. :( Consult a doctor immediately. The kind with the couch.

Re:I dunno...

[DaveV1.0]

Do not click. Malicious link. Just read the URL.

Re:I dunno...

[AioKits]

It can't be any worse than the WOW Pr0n I found on Pirate Bay recently. Pr0n chicks in green and blue body-paint with fake elf-ears and horns. Not nearly as hot as you would think it is. :( What level and class were they? >.> Maybe that's why they didn't look so hawt.

Re:I dunno...

[Anonymous Coward]

Pr0n chicks in green and blue body-paint with fake elf-ears and horns.

Not nearly as hot as you would think it is. :( Consult a doctor immediately. The kind with the couch. And have sex with them on it?

Re:I dunno...

[d3ac0n]

Yeah. Stupid anons with virus links. Stay out of my threads you jerks, or I shall afflict you with Uwe Boll movies!

Re:I dunno...

[Achoi77]

Pr0n chicks in green and blue body-paint with fake elf-ears and horns. Not nearly as hot as you would think it is. :( Consult a doctor immediately. The kind with the couch. Yes, there is clearly something wrong when you don't consider chicks in green and blue body-paint with fake elf-ears and horns HOT.

Re:I dunno...

[ekirt]

(Apologies for mismoding parent as troll, (misclicked), GP is troll, not parent. Parent was calling out GP being a troll, commenting to undo the modding)

Re:I dunno...

[Anonymous Coward]

link?

Re:I dunno...

[Jesus_666]

Boll really needs to make a Sashdot movie. It'd be awesome and it would have absolutely no relation to this site whatsoever. Well, maybe they'd mention the internet at one point.

Re:I dunno...

[Hillgiant]

Memo to self: Check Pirate Bay for WoW Pr0n when I get home.

Re:I dunno...

[Anonymous Coward]

Look for Whorecraft or Whorelore in Google, you'll find it...

Re:I dunno...

[Anonymous Coward]

You go and post something like that and then don't provide a link???

Re:I dunno...

[Chmcginn]

I think it was more the 'as you would think it is' part.

Re:noo

[superash]

Not a problem for bender! (... kiss my shiny metal ass :)

Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

[Ecuador]

We are still almost 800k signatures short. Guys, just sign the petition and the nightmare will be over. (In case you missed it, Uwe said he will stop if 1 Million people ask him to.)

Re:Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

[Scutter]

Based on his open responses to the community, if you really think a petition will make him stop then I have this lovely bridge I'd like to sell you...

Re:Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

[loafula]

I'm not a fan of the man, in fact I haven't seen a single one of his movies. I think the idea of this petition, though, is childish. If you have a problem with his films, don't watch them. I would mod you down if I had the points.

Re:Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

[Anonymous Coward]

Just a quick question, do you honestly think he'd actually stop at that point? I mean, Jack Thompson said he'd donate $10k to charity if someone took him up on his sick, self-absorbed video game idea, and when someone actually DID, he reneged on the deal. Easy bet Uwe would find some way to weasel out of a promise like that. "Stupid videogamers and people on the internets! What do they know? I am great movie director! Just ask all who saw my movies! Besides them."

Re:Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

[Anonymous Coward]

No one will take this petition seriously. Look at the "signatures" and the responses. Fake names, people making jokes. Probably half of the people signing are fake.

Even if the "signatures" were 100% legit it would still be hard to convince Uwe to quit. But the way it is he'd just laugh if you presented him with this fake pathetic petition attempt

Re:Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

[Ornedan]

The problem isn't just that his movies suck. It's that his movies suck and he just destroyed any chance of there being a good movie made from whichever game he raped this time.
If that weren't the case, then yes, it would be simple to just ignore him and his movies.

Re:Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

[Bodrius]

I'd agree if it were completely up to him, but movies do need money to be made.

It's very different to say "hardcore gamers don't like this director so much" vs "one million viewers signed a petition asking to get him out of the business because his movies were so bad".

The (legitimate) response to the first is 'Who cares?'. The response to the latter would be 'OK, who's the next director on the list? Can I give my money to anyone without a signed 'you suck' declaration by 1 million viewers?'.

Or, if they're clever, 'if I reject this director and make it very public, do I get 1 million viewers for my game-based movie for cheap?'.

Re:Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

[sm62704]

From the Uncyclopedia:

"Uwe Boll Number ONE filmaker, all Khazakhstan!"~ Borat on Uwe Boll

"It's Toilet Boll, damn it! "~ Internet User on Toil.. err... Uwe Boll

"I still can't believe I actually reached to the point with the sex scene when watching Uwe's Bloodrayne film " ~ Oscar Wilde on Uwe Boll

"UWE BOLL! UUUUWEEE BOOOOLL!" ~ Jon Stewart on Uwe Boll

Fucking uncyclopedia, there's en entry on a really shitty german director but nothing on Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle.

That's my idea of a REAL reference tome!

Re:Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

[Knight of Shadows]

A million signatures. . .or one bullet? You make the call!

Re:Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

[3vi1]

You don't get it: Now that he's made a (very crappy) movie for each of the franchises he's touched, there's no hope that anyone else is *ever* going to make a movie for that franchise again.

If he would stop making movies, we'd see fewer video-game related movies, but they'd almost certainly be of higher quality. Avoiding movies he's directed is not enough: he's turning the whole genre into a laughing stock.

Re:Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

[Bud Dickman]

"It's that his movies suck and he just destroyed any chance of there being a good movie made from whichever game he raped this time."

The rights owners still have to sign off on Boll making the film. At this point, we know Boll makes bad movies but companies are still giving him options to their franchises (Blizzard notwithstanding). They're the responsible ones.

Why are companies still doing business with this guy? Has no one seen Alone in the Dark?

Re:Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

[zegota]

Boll generally raises his own money to make movies, if I recall correctly. A petition is going to do absolutely squat to make him stop. He was on local radio about a week ago, and he proclaimed, in fact, that a million signatures would NOT make him stop (he made a joke about Spielberg and Bay signing ~20,000 times each).

Re:Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

[Trollificus]

I don't think you could find a million people who have even heard the name Uwe Boll, nevermind know who he really is. The best you'll get out of most people is, "Oh, he's that guy who did that one crappy movie?"

Re:Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

[sargeUSMC]

Uwe said he will stop if 1 Million people ask him to.) I don't think a million people have seen his movie, so it might be hard to get that many signatures.

Re:Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

[Kalriath]

He's a tax writeoff. When you get Uwe Boll to make you a movie, his local government subsidises it so much that with hollywood accounting it actually manages to result in a net profit while still selling exactly zero copies.

Somehow.

Why not just smite him

[Timesprout]

with the Sword of a Thousand Truths?

I love Uwe

[elrous0]

There I said it. I'm a huge film fan, and yes his movies are schlocky. But they're not meant to be serious cinema, just a little fun. Plus the guy is just a great character to have around. He openly insults other directors and movies (his recent take on the new Indiana Jones movies was dead-on, BTW), challenges critics to boxing matches, and is generally thrilled to be the director-you-love-to-hate. Personally, I think the guy is a genius.

And, being a big fan of the Postal videogame series, I think he is the PERFECT director to bring its warped sense-of-humor to the screen. I look forward to seeing the end result.

Re:I love Uwe

[IndustrialComplex]

There I said it. I'm a huge film fan, and yes his movies are schlocky. But they're not meant to be serious cinema, just a little fun. Plus the guy is just a great character to have around. He openly insults other directors and movies (his recent take on the new Indiana Jones movies was dead-on, BTW), challenges critics to boxing matches, and is generally thrilled to be the director-you-love-to-hate. Personally, I think the guy is a genius.

And, being a big fan of the Postal videogame series, I think he is the PERFECT director to bring its warped sense-of-humor to the screen. I look forward to seeing the end result.

Uwe Boll has a Slashdot account?

Now, here is the serious response. You credit Boll with openly criticizing... wait, you said insult, not critique. Insults other directors, resorts to basic animal reactions in response to critique, and takes pride that he is viewed as the worst possible thing that can happen to a story you enjoy.

The man isn't a director, he reminds me of an online griefer. If Uwe Boll was his nom-de-plume then I'd think he fell victim to the formula, Anonymity + Audience = Total Ass (to paraphrase for work audiences).

The man is a walking tax writeoff for movie studios.

Re:I love Uwe

[AdamThor]

If Uwe Boll did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

(With apologies to Voltaire)

Not that anyone should see his movies, but I think it entirely appropriate that he make them.
The man is a walking reminder not to take the entertainment industry seriously.

Re:I love Uwe

[elrous0]

I give an honest opinion and get modded flamebait? So much for metamoderation.

Re:I love Uwe

[elrous0]

His movies are nowhere NEAR as bad as they're made out to be, even taken at face value. The dialogue is usually a little hokey, with some bad casting and cheap FX, but they're not even close to the worst stuff out there. If you want to see TRULY bad filmmaking, check out just about any Sci-fi channel original movie (with the NOTABLE exception of the brilliant Battlestar Galactica remake). At worst, Uwe's films are mediocre. But they're also, by and large, pretty fun and delightfully tongue-in-cheek.

For example, how anyone can watch "House of the Dead" and not laugh at the spliced-in videogame footage or the characters getting hit by zombies and flying 100 feet through the air (as if fired out of a cannon) is beyond me. If you don't get the joke watching that, then you're never going to understand Boll at all. Boll cast Jürgen Prochnow as the ship captain, for god's sake! How can you see that and not get that he's having a bit of fun with it?

Re:I love Uwe

[Anonymous Coward]

Okay. Comparing a sci-fi original movie that is working on a TV grade budget to a Uwe Boll movie that is supposedly operating on a Big Screen budget is like comparing Bob's Shop-A-Mart to Wal-Mart. Seriously, the guy is a shit director. His highest rated movie on Rotten Tomatoes is 20%. Seriously, are you the guys brother or something?

Re:I love Uwe

[thebonafortuna]

Who modded this "Flamebait"?

Note: Just because we don't agree, or disagree in the strongest terms possible, hardly means someone deserves to be punished for posting an honest, non-inflammatory, contradicting opinion.

If you disagree, go ahead and do so in a constructive way - by posting an intelligent rebuttal. But if punishing someone for taste were allowed on /., the boards would degenerate into Mac vs. PC, Xbox vs. PS3, Red vs. Blue, reasoned vs. impertinent...oh wait.

Re:I love Uwe

[Zaatxe]

(With apologies to Voltaire)

AND God.

Re:I love Uwe

[Talderas]

But if punishing someone for taste were allowed on /., the boards would degenerate into Mac vs. PC, Xbox vs. PS3, Red vs. Blue, reasoned vs. impertinent...oh wait. But the Reds aren't really against the Blues, it's just a lie propagated by Red and Blue command perpetrated by the communications officer Vic.

Re:I love Uwe

[Jarjarthejedi]

Wait...Sci Fi Channel spends a full TV grade budget on those movies? Seriously though, their awfulness surpasses meer cost. And Boll's movies aren't terrible, they're just not good.

Re:I love Uwe

[HeronBlademaster]

I'd mod you +1 Funny and +1 Insightful if I could...

Re:I love Uwe

[Knight of Shadows]

I'd love to get him in the ring. They'd get to see him dismembered before their very eyes. . .

Re:I love Uwe

[sm62704]

But if punishing someone for taste were allowed on /.,

*shudder*

Re:I love Uwe

[Morose1]

In all fairness, I think the guy IS trying to make fun and/or funny movies. The problem is that they are neither bad enough in that schlocky kind of way to be funny, nor clever enough to be funny on their own. I've heard 'In the Name of the King' might have finally crossed the line into 'funny because it's bad' territory, but I haven't found the intestinal fortitude to risk any money on that yet.

Re:I love Uwe

[elrous0]

One person's shit is another person's champagne. There are those who think Kubrick's "A clockwork Orange" is pretentious, those who think it is too violent, and those who think it has something profound to say about the human condition. And then there are those, like me, who get it right by realizing that it's actually a black comedy that satirizes the director's own irrational fears.

Re:I love Uwe

[geekoid]

If I had mod points, I would ahve modded you -1 flamebait.

Just cause it would have been funny.

Re:I love Uwe

[nomadic]

The man is a walking tax writeoff for movie studios.

I thought they closed that tax loophole. Any German lawyers want to chime in here?

Re:I love Uwe

[bar-agent]

Any German lawyers want to chime in here?

Where's Schleswig-Holstein Country Lawyer when you need him? :)

Re:I love Uwe

[Koiu Lpoi]

He's widely believed to be an awful director. I'd rather not watch a movie that gets less than 60% critical approval, much less 20% or even 1%.

Re:I love Uwe

[Trifthen]

That's because you've never seen After Dark. I've never so badly wanted a movie unmade save for House of a Thousand Corpses by Rob Zombie.

About the only thing he took from the video-game was the fact some of it took place in the dark. The issue of it being terrible is just redundant. Though I'd love to see if it anyone could successfully MST3k the thing. :p

Re:I love Uwe

[elrous0]

Ed Wood and Roger Corman would have gotten those kind of numbers too. But people still enjoy Wood's work. And Corman's contribution to the film industry is almost impossible to overstate (virtually every great director to emerge in the 70's and 80's started out working for Corman). Like Boll, neither director took himself too seriously.

Re:I love Uwe

[Briareos]

That's because you've never seen After Dark. I've never so badly wanted a movie unmade save for House of a Thousand Corpses by Rob Zombie. So he's moved from video game adaptions to screensaver adaptions now?

Figures...

np: Autechre - Coenc3 (45Tribute)

Re:I love Uwe

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm looking forward to Postal. That little fan forum that those two Laural & Hardy looking guys who do Penny Arcade hold where they had Uwe Boll presenting and everybody was booing him? What a bunch of Comic Book Guys! My favorite comic book as a child was utterly destroyed by Sylvester Stallone, but that didn't stop me from seeing Cop Land a few years later and enjoying, get a grip people!

Re:I love Uwe

[Anonymous Coward]

You mean INCLUDING Battlestar Galactica remake. Hears a rule. When you have to resort to stealing characters out of Voyager, you don't have a great writing team. It's really sad that 30 years later, the remake is cheesier than the 70s original.

Re:I love Uwe

[steelfood]

And, being a big fan of the Postal videogame series, I think he is the PERFECT director to bring its warped sense-of-humor to the screen. I look forward to seeing the end result.

Please record your reaction and post on youtube.

Re:I love Uwe

[AK Marc]

Yeah, and what's Uwe's deep story? Shit in a can is still shit in a can, even if you get people to talk about it.

Re:I love Uwe

[Anonymous Coward]

No, they wouldn't. From the stories I've heard from people on set during the filming of Postal, he refused to fight anyone who actually knew how to fight.

Re:I love Uwe

[Knight of Shadows]

Then we'd get to watch him crap himself, because I wouldn't give the little pussy a choice in the matter.

Blizzard and Quality

[Enderandrew]

I'm one of the few that doesn't play WoW, but I have a lot of respect for Blizzard's commitment to quality. They won't release a project they don't feel is up to their standards, and would rather take a huge loss than release a turd.

Re:Blizzard and Quality

[Creepy]

and Uwe Boll has exactly the opposite incentive - if his movies lose money, he gets a tax shelter (though he has said he would like to see them do well), so it really is a conflict of interest.

Re:Blizzard and Quality

[hanchan07]

Which is the exact opposite of Bolls commitment to quality, weird....

Re:Blizzard and Quality

[Anonymous Coward]

That was the old blizzard, before WoW.

Re:Blizzard and Quality

[CaptPungent]

Yeah, it's obvious then that you never played WoW.

Re:Blizzard and Quality

[Enderandrew]

The MMORPG genre has many flaws, which is why I don't play them, but WoW is near universally hailed as the best of the bunch. Rumors have circulated about how they keep shelving Diablo 3 until it is near perfect, how they kept shelving Starcraft 2 until it was near perfect. They also canceled the Warcraft Adventure game that was supposedly finished because they didn't feel it was good enough for the Blizzard stamp of approval.

Most MMORPGs come down to PvP, loot acquisition and level grinding. I don't enjoy those mechanics, but it is hard to argue with how they've damn near mastered those mechanics.

Re:Blizzard and Quality

[Chmcginn]

Rumors have circulated about how they keep shelving Diablo 3 until it is near perfect

I really wish they would get it done... it should be obvious from the number of people who bought Hellgate that another Diablo would sell great.

Trey Parker & Matt Stone

[El_Muerte_TDS]

They would make an enjoyable WoW movie for the rest of the world (i.e. not those that play WoW).
It's not like WoW players have time to watch the movie in the first place.
The small WoW segment they did in South Park is quite suitable.

Re:Trey Parker & Matt Stone

[geminidomino]

The small WoW segment they did in South Park is quite suitable. Small segment? They did an entire episode about it.

Re:Trey Parker & Matt Stone

[SatanicPuppy]

I don't know...I can't even imagine how boring the movie would be.

"Now we go to fight the ultimate evil!"
"Wait, we don't have the key to his front door."
"Who cares? Can't we break in?"
"No! The door is too powerful! We have to spend days of our lives getting the parts of the key and forging them together!"
"The door is too powerful? Fine. You guys go get the key..."
"Sorry, sir, we ALL need a key. So we each have to go on the key quest separately, though of course we can help each other."
"WHAT? That doesn't make any sense!"
"The door works in mysterious ways, sir."

Re:Trey Parker & Matt Stone

[Lyrael]

I may be being overly pedantic here but I don't think the WoW episode of South Park was really meant for WoW players to enjoy. They got so many things horrendously wrong I couldn't even begin to list them :P

Although it was funny, nonetheless.

Re:Trey Parker & Matt Stone

[elrous0]

Parker and Stone are contrarians and satirists (and pretty brilliant ones). If they made a WoW movie, it would spend about 75% of the movie making fun of WoW and its players. The result would be a very funny movie that pissed off most WoW players.

Re:Trey Parker & Matt Stone

[Anonymous Coward]

By the time it goes to video though the key requirement will be removed.

Re:Trey Parker & Matt Stone

[antibryce]

They should base the script on Warcraft 2. That'll limit the dialogue to "dabu" and "yes my lord" and they should be able to finish the movie in record time.

Re:Trey Parker & Matt Stone

[GaryPatterson]

Well, I guess we don't want to upset the two million actual players and eight million gold farmers.

Hmm... I'd like a scene where someone runs around Stormwind or Darnassus screaming "Interrupt! Hello. Ten dollar buy epic gold! Go www.goldscam.com! Power-level too!"

I think that'd help bring those eight million gold farmers in. About half of them would wonder if that character was based on them.

Re:Trey Parker & Matt Stone

[CFTM]

And one must not forget the exploding sheep or the angry female elf when you "click" her too many times!

WoW movie

[loafula]

Funny I was actually half dreaming about a WoW movie last night in bed. It would be awesome. Especially if done in the style of the 2007 Beowulf.

Twisted logic gem

[mwvdlee]

From the MTV blog:

And to be honest, the real gamers are the typical download guys, right? They don't pay anything for movies, because they illegally download the movies. So why I should please these guys?

If all these real gamers are the downloading guys, how come those games are sold so well that Uwe wants to license them?

Re:Twisted logic gem

[rsmith-mac]

If all these real gamers are the downloading guys, how come those games are sold so well that Uwe wants to license them?

Warcraft 3 used a CD-key system, you could pirate the game but you'd never be able to play on Battle.net, a problem with a game that is so heavily multiplayer. World of Warcraft is a MMO, the game itself is chump-change compared to the subscription fee you have to pay to play it.

In other words, the games sold well in part because Blizzard used tight enough DRM and authentication procedures that you couldn't feasibly pirate them. Had easy piracy been possible, it's logical to assume piracy rates would be far more in-line with other games of their time that didn't have such strong protection. PC Gamers are notoriously cheap and pirate-happy, there's no denying that.

Re:Twisted logic gem

[silentphate]

Actually he has a point. PC Gamers will typically download games/movies/etc. Although that's far from the truth about console gamers which are an entirely different gamer breed.

Fool! It's a trap!

[SatanicPuppy]

You're proving to the producers that 1,000,000 people know who he is...and care. That tells the money guys that giving him a pile of cash and the rights to a some beloved IP will capture the attention of 1,000,000 people at a minimum.

Seriously, the best thing you could have done was start a petition and have like 3 people sign it. I would show the people in charge that no one cares about him.

Re:Fool! It's a trap!

[LearnToSpell]

Seriously, the best thing you could have done was start a petition and have like 3 people sign it. I would show the people in charge that no one cares about him.

OK, that part's done. Now what?

Re:Fool! It's a trap!

[Anonymous Coward]

That is one way to look at it. The other way would be to see, that Boll's films are not intended to make profit in the first place. You should watch more closely, who gives him the money.

Re:Fool! It's a trap!

[SatanicPuppy]

No, it's not. He can take that petition with 8 hundred thousand signatures with him to his next movie pitch, and say, "Do you really think no one cares about my movies?"

The only people who drop out of sight in the movie biz are the people that no-one cares about one way or the other. 20 years from now people will still be watching his movies for their awfullness, and famous talented actors will be doing the story of his life in movie form a la Ed Wood.

Re:Fool! It's a trap!

[HeronBlademaster]

Yeah except that the people who "care" are people who don't want him to make movies. That has to carry some weight.

I mean, could I have a hundred thousand people sign a petition saying they want me to stop programming, then take that petition to a potential employer saying "Look, a hundred thousand people care whether I write software!"? Once the potential employer actually reads the petition, I'd be laughed out of the office. I'd venture to guess the same would happen to Uwe Boll. Unless they just take his word for it. Then we'd be screwed.

Re:Fool! It's a trap!

[Hoi Polloi]

Soon I'll have this great list of 1 million names and email addresses I'd like to sell to any interested spammers.

Re:Fool! It's a trap!

[Niznaika]

Sadly Uwe Boll is financing his own movies through his German production company. His money come as refunds from the German government... the only thing they require is a percentage of the profit and usually there is none.

Re:Fool! It's a trap!

[SatanicPuppy]

I suggest you read this. To sum it up, that tax loophole is gone now, so he will have to get money like everyone else, and I think this petition is a way for him to do just that.

Reasonable

[boombasticman]

Thank you Blizzard!!! This is worth about 800,000 votes against Boll.

Re:Reasonable

[wanderingknight]

I believe it's specifically over 9000 votes.

Isn't a WoW movie in Blizzard's long range plans?

[mbaGeek]

Sorry no links - but I seem to remember some Blizzard talking head saying that they had plans for a movie

they said something about wanting to "make a good movie" not just a "good video game movie"...

of course they also have said that they planned to release a major expansion every year, - with all the cash that the Arena tourney HAS to be bringing in, maybe the movie project will get a closer look...

Petition to stop Uwe Boll

[macbuzz01]

Sign the petition and he will quit. (redundant I know)

Re:Isn't a WoW movie in Blizzard's long range plan

[mbaGeek]

plans for a "live action movie" in Blizzard's news - May 2006 Gamespot did an interview with Blizzard

or direct link to the interview

Re:noo

[Culture20]

"I don't like having discs crammed into me... unless they're Oreos... and then only in the mouth." -Fry

Somewhere in the Distance

[techsoldaten]

Somewhere in the distance, the Warhammer Online team weeps gentle tears.

M

Uwe Boll

[BrunoBigfoot]

In other news, Uwe Boll will be legally changing his last name to "Suck". He came to this decision after having so many people coming up to him and saying "Uwe Suck!"

Re:Uwe Boll

[Swampash]

His first name is pronounced "OO-vay".

In a purely hypothetical case...

[Cadallin]

Wouldn't it be easier to just shoot him in the head?

Not that I'm suggesting anyone should. Just y'know, it'd be a lot more expedient than a petition.

Re:In a purely hypothetical case...

[Anonymous Coward]

Hmm... you don't seem to like Mr Boll. Why don't you step into this ring?

Re:In a purely hypothetical case...

[Anonymous Coward]

Uwe Boll can only be stopped by a million people shooting him in the head.

That's why they went with this petition.

Re:In a purely hypothetical case...

[Poeir]

Who will rid me of this meddlesome director?

I almost wish they would...

[sTalking_Goat]

Maybe the sheer horror of the experience would get some people to finally pull the WoW needle from their arms and I'd get some friends back.

Re:I almost wish they would...

[Anonymous Coward]

Believe it or not, your friends are the ones who want YOU back.
Start playing WoW so you can hang out with your friends.
The voice chat is built in so it is almost like you are in the same room with them.
You can get a free trial account at worldofwarcraft.com; its super easy!

Also, you would finally be part of something that really matters!

Sincerely,
Lovestospooge

For the Horde

[Pojut]

The primary thing that pisses me off about the potential WoW movie is that from everything I have read, it looks like it's going to be told from the perspective of the Alliance.

Come on. Everyone knows the Alliance is for pussies. And so are Blood Elves.

Re:For the Horde

[Deathdonut]

I don't really see how you came to this conclusion. Did you play Warcraft III or the other games? They are far from alliance-centric. If anything, the most compelling story of the third game was the Orc's struggle against the burning legion. Granted, the night-elf story was given similar weight, but the final battle was cooperative against the Burning Legion and the Scourge.

Re:For the Horde

[snorb]

GP stated the movie's going to be told from the perspective of the Alliance because Blizzard has said it's going to be told from the perspective of the Alliance.

Sure, the games are not "Alliance-centric". Which is exactly why the upcoming "Alliance-centric" movie will be lacking.

Re:For the Horde

[T.E.D.]

The primary thing that pisses me off about the potential WoW movie is that from everything I have read, it looks like it's going to be told from the perspective of the Alliance

One thing not a lot of people get about Blizzard's universe is that the Horde (after the events in W2 anyway) are *not* the bad guys. They are pretty much just trying to get along, and its the Alliance that is being judgemental, racist, and self-righteous and won't leave them be. Really the Alliance are the bad guys.

Even a lot of WoW horde'ers don't get this.

Well...OK...the Blood Elves *are* evil. The Tony Snow quotes the NPCs give are sort of a dead giveaway. I note the parent doesn't like them either though (same here).

Re:For the Horde

[Pojut]

My reasons for preferring the Horde are as follows:

1. The units in all three Warcraft games and their expansions are much better on the Horde side (Undead in Warcraft III are border line overpowered, to be honest.)
2. Their tribal nature. It appeals to me.
3. The way that Horde act in WoW compared to Alliance. Granted, they both have their good and bad folks, but the Alliance seems to have many more immature folks.
4. Come on...who WOULDN'T want to be an orc?

Re:For the Horde

[Anonymous Coward]

Somehow, I don't think audiences will go for spending an hour and a half watching an undead rogue stealthing up to and one-shotting lowbies in Stranglethorn Vale.

Department

[Anonymous Coward]

From the "Timothy-forgot-to-post-a-department" department.

Can't be all bad

[operagost]

From Wikipedia:

Uwe Boll has released a video stating that he is "the only genius in the whole fucking [movie] business" and that other directors such as Michael Bay and Eli Roth are "fucking retards". He promises that his upcoming film Postal will be "way better than all that social-critic George Clooney bullshit that you get every fucking weekend."

Sounds like my kinda guy.

Nice headline

[DeepZenPill]

...where are we, Digg?

Episode == segment

[tepples]

The small WoW segment they did in South Park is quite suitable. Small segment? They did an entire episode about it. South Park is a television series. Compared to the box set of a season, a 24-minute episode is a small segment.

Re:Episode == segment

[Anonymous Coward]

I try to avoid being pedantic, but you're just plain wrong. A segment of a series is a portion of an episode. "Make Love, Not Warcraft" was an episode of the popular TV Series.

you know nothing of trolls and pr

[circletimessquare]

the first rule of public relations is that there is no such thing as bad publicity. if you get your name out there, you can do something to cash in on that fame and/ or notoriety. a million signatures merely means a million people not only know who the guy is, but are actually passionate enough to go to a website and register their disgust for him

thus ensuring you will hear about uwe boll again and again forever

the only way you will ensure you will never hear of use boll again is to not mention him. btw, a front page slashdot story, unfortuantely, extends uwe boll's shelflife

love is basically the same as hate when it comes to garnishering attention. just ask any troll. the only way to defeat a real life troll like boll, just like online, is to IGNORE them. if you give them attention, they win

so any stupid petition ensures boll lives on and on. is that what you want?

Re:you know nothing of trolls and pr

[SanityInAnarchy]

While I suspect that, yes, Boll would probably love it to have a million people hate him...

It's still worth a shot. Mostly because ignoring him won't make him go away, but a million signatures would at least make him a liar if he didn't.

Re:you know nothing of trolls and pr

[boris111]

Yeah look how it worked for Michael Bay.

Re:you know nothing of trolls and pr

[jollyreaper]

the first rule of public relations is that there is no such thing as bad publicity. OJ proved you can still make money after killing someone but Jackson proved child molestation is the only kind of bad publicity there is.

i wish i knew what "mundacity" was

[Anonymous Coward]

google does, too

If anyone can make a movie is Blizzard itself.

[Kildjean]

Frankly, if anyone could make an awesome World of Warcraft Movie, its Blizzard itself. They don't need anyone else.

Am I missing something?

[Anonymous Coward]

Looked on IMDB and didn't see any other video game adaptations to his credit. So why the slap in the face? Is he just a crappy director, or does he have some history of raping people's childhood (to use a phrase I've seen applied to other schlockmiesters, like Mike Bay).

It could be worse

[markov_chain]

Any of you seen "Bad Taste?" :)

Re:It could be worse

[CastrTroy]

That movie rocks. I recommend that everybody should see that. Along with the Japanese Zombie movie, Junk.

Re:It could be worse

[Chutulu]

Do you now where i can find a torrent of that movie Junk?

Re:It could be worse

[pressman]

Bad Taste. It lived up to it's name and I loved every single frame of it.

Re:It could be worse

[the_arrow]

Well I prefer Meet the Feebles.

Legendary Pictures

[Atroxodisse]

Was I the only one at Blizzcon 2007? They already announced Legendary Pictures (http://www.legendarypictures.com/) has a WoW movie in the works.

this makes me want to laugh.

[Anonymous Coward]

You might as well comment on Microsoft's commitment to quality.

They stumbled on an excellent balance and interplay with their MMO, but their QA absolutely blows.

the 2.4 patch introduced massive bugs into a major t5 raid encounter. specifically his attacks are no longer recorded in the combat logs. It goes further, in that it will detonate on people while many yards away, inside walls, or simply not visible at all.

Considering this boss drops t5 shoulders, that's a pretty hefty bug.

how long did they take to fix it? it's still not fixed. They acknowledge the massive bugs but said they were going to wait a few patches.. for what again?

Re:this makes me want to laugh.

[Anonymous Coward]

looks like someone's angry they didn't get their shoulders yet.

Re:noo

[Anonymous Coward]

the DVD or your ass?

Thank you Slashdot

[jeremyp]

I had no idea who Uwe Boll is until I read this article. Thanks, Slashdot for wasting a few more of my brain cells (which are already in short supply).

Re:noo

[stewbacca]

The hole leaves room for my finger!

I thought a movie was already in production

[brap999]

A long time ago on the WoW forum they announced they were making a movie. What ever happened to that?

Doesn't everyone realize...

[yespatterns]

...that the people who will be interested in this movie, aren't exactly known for things like, Idon't know, leaving their homes? I suppose it could be a success if it went straight to Netflix...

Recurring Theme

[stewbacca]

I sense a trend (from the Uwe Boll Wikipedia entry):

When rumors surfaced that Boll had expressed interest in a Metal Gear Solid movie, and claimed to have been given a script to read, Metal Gear creator Hideo Kojima responded in his audioblog HIDECHAN, "Absolutely not! I don't know why Uwe Boll is even talking about this kind of thing. We've never talked to him. It's impossible that we'd ever do a movie with him."

Trailer

[Anonymous Coward]

Imagine the movie trailer:

"Leeeeeerrrroooyyyy Jennnnnnkins!!!!!"

Can someone explain ...

[damn_registrars]

... why anyone should really care?

How many people have seen the movies that he's made?

How many additional people really would have gone to see "alone in the dark", or any of his other video game-based movies, even if it was done by a terrific director?

In comparison, how many people really thought they wanted to see a movie based on a video game, and then skipped it only because he was associated with it?

Uwe Boll = Ed Wood.

[guidryp]

I don't think Boll is any worse than a bunch of other anonymous directors turning out B movies. He just seem the most well known among them. This generations Ed Wood?

I recently watched the Dungeon Siege movie. It was no worse than a bunch of other Fantasy B movies. The performances were often better than what George Lucas extracts from people. Can we go back in time and petition Lucas never direct again? Maybe everything after Empire Strikes Back wouldn't suck then.

I don't get why people have against Boll. At least he never really ruined a good property. He makes B movies and you pretty much get what is expected.

Boll the character is often more entertaining than his movies. His smack talking about his next movie, postal was hilarious...

We may as well have Boll direct the low budget B movies, at least when we see his name, we will know what to expect.

Re:Uwe Boll = Ed Wood.

[geekoid]

There is a dungeon Siege movie? huh.

um, because we don't want B movies?

Don't get me wrong, I take a perverse pleasure in B movies, but I would rather they where A movies.

Re:Uwe Boll = Ed Wood.

[nuzak]

> This generations Ed Wood?

No, Ed Wood really loved movies, and poured his wholly incompetent heart and soul into making them. Uwe Boll finds cheap franchises and exploits them for a tax loophole. All his upcoming titles were in production before the loophole was closed. We'll see what happens when his funding dries up.

Ok chums, lets do this

[kaosum]

Leeeeerooooooyyyyyyy..Jeeeeennnkkkiiiinnnnsssss!

They already have South Park

[AnomaliesAndrew]

Why bother with a movie? With the official South Park episode now in the history books, I think it would be really lame of them to make an official movie.

Just play the game... who wants to watch a movie of it? I mean, I know we're slashdotters, but are any of us actually that pathetic?

Mod parent informative, not funny

[SoTuA]

seriously.

WoW Insider

[Anonymous Coward]

Wowinsider is like the grocery store tabloid of WoW news sites.

This news

[Vexor]

was so yesterday. Get with it /.

ARGH! Correction!

[Jesus_666]

I asked for a Slashdot movie, although I could believe that the Boll production would hit the shelves as "Sashdot".

Also, the world really needs a Sashdot site. "Belts for nerds, sashes that matter". Hell yeah.

Re:ARGH! Correction!

[nazrhyn]

I'm sorry, but does nobody with mod points find this as funny as I did?

LF story...

[TiggertheMad]

I have to agree in a way, I've always liked the Warcraft series games and have always felt Warcraft III had one of the best storylines of any game I'd played.

Did you actually play WOW? It is teppid. The only story that it has are one paragraph snippets of text that accompany quests, and rare scripted events. Sure there is more storyline than say, a game of pac-man, but you have not played many games if you think there is a detailed storyline there.

Perhaps if you are a lore freak that has read every book that they have churned out the quests might might make more sense, but I think I learned more about the world's lore reading a single article on wowwiki than two years of playing the game itself.

Re:LF story...

[ultranova]

Did you actually play WOW? It is teppid. The only story that it has are one paragraph snippets of text that accompany quests, and rare scripted events. Sure there is more storyline than say, a game of pac-man, but you have not played many games if you think there is a detailed storyline there.

He didn't say anything about the storyline of WoW. He was speaking of Warcraft 3. They are different games, you know.

And Warcraft 3 did, in fact, have a good story.

Re:LF story...

[Omestes]

I agree, but a correction:

The day to day quests are mainly of the "kill x of y so I can do z". Meaning shallow, and rather boring. But the actual world which your playing has very detailed stories for each faction (and the the NPC factions). Some times the quests do tap into these larger stories, and these are some of the better ones. Sadly they lose a lot since you know your going to have to do them 80000 times, and sadly they are only for high level characters (Blizzard hates lowbies)

I still remember completing the full Onyxia quest on the Alliance side, it was one of the more moving moments in the game. The procession to the palace was awesome, I actually had a grip of lowbies /bow me, and follow me to the big fight. But then again this was in the first year of the game, so it was novel.

I suppose the hard part is how to let players contribute to story arcs, when the story arcs can never actually change. MMOs are like some odd form of purgatory, you repeat the same actions forever, but nothing ever changes. I think I'm going to go roll a toon named Sisophys now.

The only groups that ever get to big things are the massive raiding guilds. Blizzard hates the casual gamer as much as they hate the lowbie.

Re:LF story...

[Xest]

Actually yeah I did and quit after a week out of boredom ;)

I was hoping it'll only be based on WoW though and have a story more akin to that of Warcraft 1 thru 3 because they were pretty awesome. Perhaps just use the WoW name as it's much better known than the original games I think.

Best review ever of a Uve Boll movie

[Terje Mathisen]

This is definitely the time to direct everyone to the rant Howard Tayler of Schlock Mercenary fame wrote about BloodRayne:

http://www.schlockmercenary.com/blog/index.php/2006/01/06/movie-review-bloodrayne/

Okay, let's start with my instructions to you: no matter how enticing I may make this film sound, do NOT spend money on it. Don't see it in the theater, and don't rent it. Buying the DVD would be a crime against humanity. For that matter, don't bother seeing it for FREE, either. Spending your TIME on this film is a crime against your employer, your family, and the Baby New Year. You would be better off using an hour and thirty-four minutes eating junk food and watching Weather Channel repeats you've accidentally TIVO'd.

Terje

WoW Movie Casting

[Atrox666]

Staring Jackie Chan as the chinese gold farmer.
He could play a character named aekehjrhjr and come on screen every 5 minutes offering to sell WoW gold.

Who would play Leroy Jenkins?
Who would play the healer who can't keep the tank up?
Who would play the hunter who can't control his friggin' pet and aggros everything?

Re:WoW Movie Casting

[DarkProphet]

Leeroy Jenkins: Samuel L. Jackson
Healer: Paris Hilton
Huntard: Aston Kutcher

How's that? ;-)

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No

[Haoie]

How about just no more VG movies, period.

Yes please.

Blizzard likes that twisted logic, actually

[patio11]

Blizzard made some of the popular boxed games in history, which were some of the most pirated games in history. One of them is practically a national sport. It made them quite a bit of money.

They also made the most commercially successful online game in history. There was essentially no piracy. It made them enough money to launch a national sport *every week*.

Pop quiz: pretend you're the money man. Which model appeals to you more? The one where your core audience loves to steal from you, or the one where they kvetch endlessly about having to pay recurring monthly fees which they *nonetheless actually pay*?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: China is the future of gaming in the US, and it will be thanks in large part to piracy. You can't buy a (legal) PC game in China for any amount of money, because no company is willing to sell you one. They know if they do you'll just buy it from the corner pirate for barely over the cost of media. Instead, they'll happily rent you time playing a game. Stop paying? Stop playing. Alternatively, they'll sell you items, which will reside on their server, covered by their EULA, and which they will be able to wipe or alter at their discretion.

Blizzard can afford to make a Starcraft 2, and it will be an enormous success and print money. Mark me on this, though: after the suits see the ROI on Starcraft 2 versus WoW, they will not greenlight Starcraft 3, at least not on the "You pay us money, we give you CD, you play with CD for years and maybe buy an expansion pack way down the road" model.

Re:Blizzard likes that twisted logic, actually

[mwvdlee]

No "suit" is stupid enough to deny one money printer because another one prints more money; they choose both.

Except Blizzard has done exactly that

[patio11]

Remember when Blizzard made console games? Profitable, but then the Warcraft series came out and then it looked kind of silly to pay those licensing fees when they could sell for the same price on the PC and keep more of the sale. The difference in lifetime value of a WoW player and a War2 player makes the difference in War2 and Lost Vikings look like rounding error.

ummm fuck yes

[Anonymous Coward]

ummm fuck yes!!! blizzard rocks

Just depends on the kind of book (oblig Futurama)

[madro]

"I need something to make me think. Let's see... Hardy Boys... too easy. Nancy Drew... too hard. Ah, perfect. Bonfire of the Vanities."

As if the guys who made "Poseidon" are any better

[Anonymous Coward]

And that's exactly who they're working with. But, ultimately, it doesn't matter - the Blizzard guys are the kind of control freaks who will NEVER sign off on any movie. This entire process is just a power trip to enjoy the spectacle of watching hollywood hacks lick their platinum boots. Ten or twenty million bucks in pre-production can be easily written off as just a few weeks of Warcraft profits. But the spectacle of watching Hollywood egos bow down is priceless.

Paragraph tags

[Chmcginn]

Are your friend.

Well, not really your friend, but friend to anyone who might have tried to read that.

Re:Paragraph tags

[RockModeNick]

I wondered where my paragraphs went. I usually never post anything long enough to need them guess I better look.