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Studies Confirm That Bad Boys Get More Girls
seattlle foodie sends along a New Scientist article outlining two recent studies that confirm what many have long suspected: bad boys get the most girls. "The finding may help explain why a nasty suite of antisocial personality traits known as the 'dark triad' persists in the human population, despite their potentially grave cultural costs. The traits are: the self-obsession of narcissism; the impulsive, thrill-seeking, and callous behavior of psychopaths; and the deceitful and exploitative nature of Machiavellianism. At their extreme, these traits would be highly detrimental for life in traditional human societies. People with these personalities risk being shunned by others and shut out of relationships, leaving them without a mate, hungry and vulnerable to predators."
But it is not an excuse. Women who repeatedly get used in these types of relationships and then go cry to their geek friends deserve no sympathy. They should be smart enough to figure it out.
This is why I have no use for women.
...that's why it works
boys with bad karma? /. will get me all the chicks
Trolling
But I'm not nice! I hacked into my school servers many times and got suspended because of that! I use public wlans all the time, that is not nice! Why don't I get the girls :(
'being just slightly evil could have an upside: a prolific sex life' Apparently I'm not even slightly evil, though I wish I was...
"I worry that some day my child will ask me, 'Dad, where were you when they took freedom of the press from the internet?
Who didn't already know that girls, especially those under their mid-20's, tend to prefer bad boys?
I wonder how much money is wasted anually on 'studies' that tell us things that have been common knowledge forever?
I know that's the only reason I would ever pirate software---chicks dig a nice new copy of Leisure Suit Larry.
I foresee a balanced and fair thread with little to no flaming from this article.
let me translate this... so their self-confident, exciting, and maybe appear to be rich
...on whether or not these bad boys get more consensual sex
Women always say they want a man that is nice, helpful, respectful and will treat them right. But, you see it time after time...they go for the guys that are assholes, abusive (sometimes even physically).
I personally like to be a 'nice guy'. But, in my early years...I would often find myself ending up as the "friend" of the girl, and ended up listening to them go on and on about how much of a jerk this guy or that guy was, yet they still went with and slept with these guys. And, once you are in the friend zone before sleeping with them, you generally never get out of that zone.
I tried after all that, to emulate somewhat the actions and attitudes I saw the successful 'assholes' did towards women, and guess what? Yep...I started getting more 'lucky'.
If you are a bit aloof, and difficult...they for the most part won't leave you alone.
Women generally don't seem to really want what they say they want in a man.
Oh..they may eventually grab the steady, meeker nice guy, and have kids with them because they are stable, but then they will often go out and cheat....with the bad boy they meet and find they are sexually attracted and excited by.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
"bad boys" are typically more confident in life about who and what they are. Women appreciate and are attracted to men who display confidence regularly.
You can't be fat, ugly and a jerk.
Studies confirm that studies confirming something everyone already knows tend to be highlighted on Slashdot more than other studies.
Why waste so much time and money to come to such obvious conclusion which everybody knows?
Well, now that science has figured it out, maybe we can find some kind of cure for stupid chicks that go after guys who are going to treat them like shit.
bad boys get the most girls.
"The finding may help explain why a nasty suite of antisocial personality traits known as the 'dark triad' persists in the human population, despite their potentially grave cultural costs. [...]
People with these personalities risk being shunned by others and shut out of relationships, leaving them without a mate, hungry and vulnerable to predators."
Does it help you get laid, or what??
== Jez ==
Do you miss Firefox? Try Pale Moon.
If you have a large enough population of players where nearly everyone plays co-operate, the 2 or 3 assholes who play to betray do quite well. They only pay the price if they play the same opponent a few times. Without paying the price, they will do quite well.
END COMMUNICATION
...and sluts get more bad boys.
"Water is Wet", proclaims billion dollar study. We've also inadvertently discovered a relationship between financial status and attractiveness to women, as well as confirming that there just might be something to that theory of gravity thing.
"Linux doesn't exist. Everyone knows Linux is an unlicensed version of Unix"- Kieren O'Shaughnessy
However I fail to see why this is news for nerds or stuff that matters? Maybe it's an effort to activate the subconscious message which was included in the recent slashdot dating advertisement?
/humor for the humor impaired.
1) Include subliminal message in dating advertisement
2) post article about bad boys get the girls
3) Slashdot crowd puts 1+1 together
4) profit!?!?
I'd say go for the Quality instead - all you need is just one, for the long term.
The nicest bunch of guys anywhere on the net.
I don't see how that gets added in there. Not quite in the same category as the other listed characteristics.
Even if the "bad boy" thing is true.
Taken to their extremes they may be, but self-confidence, thrill-seeking, and the daily deceits of life are the price we pay to function in society. Is it deceit to tell someone that you don't find particularly attractive that they look good today? You often do this with gatekeepers you need on your side.
And self-confidence and narcissism can lead to trying new things and succeeding at them. This is a feedback loop that leads to more success. Sometimes feeling that you are better than others is merely a reflection of simple truth. How that translates into how you treat others is the test of whether it is psychopathic. Some people that are superior look down on others. Some become mentors and try to lift all the boats around them.
It seems many of these traits are only seen as evil by those that feel that everyone is a unique special snowflake which reality proves is incorrect every second of every day.
But how does this explain hot chicks with ugly dudes?
"You'll get nothing, and you'll like it!"
There are some how-to books for dating that advocate being a complete asshole. I download (pirate) books more than anything, and occasionally I'll see a dating guide that I'll skim over. Anyone with a social life has probably noted that there is a serious art in treating women like crap, and it will get you laid quickly.
To speculate why this trait would be advantageous from an evolutionary standpoint, many people who treat women like crap have a "me-first" attitude, and are skilled manipulators of their social surroundings. To use an anecdote, I have a friend who is very good at picking up smokin'-hot young women in college bars (hes in college too). Despite having a relatively-low GPA, being a serious pot-head, and alcoholic, he has managed to finagle scholarship after scholarship out of his department. People like him; but I have never met anyone that the adage "familiarity breeds contempt" applies to more. I unfortunately know him well enough to understand that he is a borderline psychopath in regards to his empathy for other human beings.
Back to why this is an evolutionary advantage, his "me-first" attitude will become an "us-first" attitude when he gets married, he will have no problem fucking-over his friends, co-workers, bosses, and neighbors for personal gain, because people will tolerate it to a certain extent. This is because he is largely like-able, although he avoids people enough so that they don't grow tired of his constantly selfish attitude.
To sum my point, so-called "bad boys" that women like are skilled social manipulators that pull no punches. They probably are impressed by that, although this person has few desirable traits, people seem to like him, and also he gets what he wants by asserting social dominance through being well-liked.
Being a "bad boy" and in IT at the same time is very possible
... and my sources being every woman I know, women like dangerous men because they fuck good. Seriously. 9/10 of the chicks I asked this to told me that. My wife even likes it when I do dangerous things (that don't directly involve her or our son) and when I ask her why she says "I don't know, I just like to see you work hard." That doesn't make much sense, but she's always horny afterwards.
The eternal struggle of good vs. evil begins within one's self.
We do get around. /. is getting more and more irrelevant as time goes by. I am tired of seeing several day old news most of us left minutes after it was posted in a news outlet.
Pity has long held high standing in our societies. Groups sacrifice useful things like bowls and blankets to bury others perhaps in tribute but very likely as a sharing of suffrage. Those girls owe us because they damage males(Darwinist Style).
So me being gay, that's why I can't get the boys? Girls are crawling all over me? Oh wait...
April fools?
Bullshit conclusion. I have not had many partners during the last couple of years, but it wasn't because nobody was attracted to me, rather it was because I was in a relationship that lasted more than 3 years. The findings in the study could just as well be explained by suggesting women don't stay in a relationship with an asshole, or that the assholes don't bother with long term relationships, resulting in "bad guys" having multiple short relationships while the "nice" guys have fewer longer ones. You really can't conclude much about women's preferences from this.
The people in question ARE the predators.
I am very small, utmostly microscopic.
When asked what they look for in a guy most women said they look for nice guys with a good sense of humor.
Results of the study, women lie.
Girls like danger, that's why I cover myself with glass when I go out on the weekends.
If you RTFA carefully you notice the article does not say that women prefer men with these antisocial personality traits. It says that those men want and have more short-term relationships. It may very well be as simple as "nice guys" preferring longer relationships. Concluding that girls like bad boys from this study is just prejudice.
Conclusion: read articles carefully, even when they confirm your preconceived ideas.
.. I pity women.
All clans and tribes need cannon fodder ... the young men who will go in after the cave bear, or attack the other tribe. So young women find a settled mature tribesman who will be a good provider, AND cuckolds him with one of the wild boys to produce an offspring or two to refill the cannon fodder supply.
Waa Waa Waa. The big tough guys are gettin all the girls. Sounds like a sack full of kittens just before their thrown in the river. If I wasn't so far away I'd sock you in the mouth! I'd tear you limb from limb! I'd stomp you into the ground so deep that when I finished all they'd have to do is plant a stinkin head stone!
(I'm reading that out loud as I type here at the office and the girls are lining up behind me! This shit really works! Why do they all have coffee mugs in their hands..? oh wait... It's that hunky coffee guy refilling the coffee maker again... never mind... damit!)
Long term partner? Sure, they tend to lose those. But, in a darwinian sense, that hardly matters compared with...
To accept your genes and create the next generation with your genetic line rather than someone else's?
The narcisist who wants to pass their genes on doesn't need a loving relationship. Indeed, for the narcisist, what better than a woman who'll find them attractive, take their genes, then let someone else raise the child as their own?
Sure, they may be ostracized from society. Sure, they may have a harder time surviving. Sure, they may die younger. But, if they've already passed their genes on to several different women, they've likely out performed the monogamous men on a darwinian level.
Darwin doesn't care how comfortable your life is. Darwin cares whether, overall, you meet the requirement of passing on your genes. This whole "valued part of society, died at 80" thing is meaningless to Darwin if your competitor has happily bred with your wife at 20 and you've spent the next sixty years raising three generations of someone else's genetic line that are now populating the planet and passing on their traits.
If in a particular species individuals prevail for a short term but long term destroy their habitat, the species fails to suceed and something else will take it's place.
Does anyone know how often Robert Mugabe has reproduced his 0.5 gene set with a female succumbing to his kind of "attraction"?
This is old story. We humans are developed and so we pretend having little of few links with animal behavior. A female monkey goes for the alpha male. A human female does the same.
Strangely enought if you remind our females that they are acting like monkeys it causes them to get hysteric. The best strategy is of course behave like a alpha male, causing havok in society and keeping earth a bad competitive place for everyone else.
I suggest anyone this read: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Selfish_Gene it explains everything and it's from the '90.
Note that "If every man could get a blowjob each morning there would be no wars" I don't remember who wrote it but it's a golden quote.
The interesting thing is that nobody denies that the jerks often get the girls, but most guys can't remake themselves into jerks even for sex. In my opinion, THIS is what makes fucking the jerks and getting the nice guys to help raise the babies a viable strategy. We should all just decide "fuck nice" and be the assholes that women reward with sex, and maybe a couple generations from now nice will be back in vogue.
Except, of course, that we can't. But it's fun to think about.
As a wise old man once told me, "To get ahead in life, you have to skirt the rules just enough to not get caught."
P.S. While recognizing the truth of the statement, I don't live by it.
While most women will say they want a nice, caring guy. Most of them, if you talk to them long enough, will also tell you that they want someone who is self-sure, strong and a bit of a tough guy or rebel. A man who cares, but will also ride a motorcycle and throw them down on a bed. I've met very few women who say they just want a "nice guy".
Also, the summary is a bit off. Women want a man who can stand on his own feet and protect them. That's a good thing to have. And, if taken in the correct doses, it's a good thing for societ.
These are the same people who become managers and make the big bucks. See http://www.softpanorama.org/Social/Toxic_managers/psychopath_in_the_corner_office.shtml
Cheers,
Dave
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither safety nor liberty.
Ben
This research makes just as much sense when flipping it around: If you got some genes that makes the girls come running, it may cause your personality to become self-centered and exploitive.
Or there could be a root cause and have nothing to do with genes at all. For example, "power". Girls like guys with power, while power corrupts the personality.
I lost my sig.
What about the fact that those with "bad boy" traits might be FAR MORE LIKELY to lie their asses off about the number or partners, number of encounters, etc to make themselves look good? Think some jerk is going to tell some research dweeb, "Dude, I don't get laid, it's all an act..." ? No way! "Dude, I get laid 10 times a day, I'm on the edge, I'm cool, chicks dig me." No doubt, bad guys tend to have more of an edge, appear cooler and may get more chicks, sure. But how much of this is hubris on the part of the participants?
Sig Registration Form 34c_766(a) submitted to Ministry of Signature Management. Approval pending.
Are there bad boy dogs and cats walking around getting laid all the time? What about those bad ass dolphins that where the leather coats and carry a switchblade?
Can I bum a sig?
"Bad boys" are only succesful with women with low self-esteem. More precisely, women who have been abused as children, or had an abusive relationship between mother and father as a model (which is also a form of abuse directed towards the child), will grow up and seek partners that will full fill their life scenario. They have learned that men are abusive towards women, and that's the only thing they know and can think of following.
Part of this is very clearly explained by Eric Berne's transactional analysis. It's fascinating that a relatively old psychological methodology can give answers to so many social phenomena - like (some) women going for the "bad boys".
"The agriculture ministry is not in charge of Gundam" - Japanese ministry official.
You wouldn't still have her number, would you ?
8)
It takes 40+ muscles to frown, but only four to extend your arm and bitchslap the motherfucker
Unfortunately sex is often tied into some of the most dysfunctional behavior patterns. People are often drawn to partners for unhealthy reasons to continue playing out old patterns. As a counselor I see this all the time. A better tag line for this post would be "Unhappy boys really do get more unhappy girls" so they can play out their misery together. Healthy well adjusted happy women aren't drawn into those kind of relationships, unfortunately they are the minority as are such men. When you live in a society where more than %50 of the population is taking a psychiatric drug and these drugs are being detected in the public water supply you begin to see some major clues that something is very wrong.
The next study should investigate the connection of this finding to Stockholm Syndrome. My take on this is that "bad boys" don't get more women simply because they are mean, but because a single nice act is much more noticeable when it isn't expected. The nice guys become predictably nice, and women expect nothing less from them. A guy who is generally an asshole, on the other hand, gets noticed every time he does something even a little nice.This is why nice guys who decide to try being a jerk for a week or so fail; it is their mean actions that stand out.
In comparison, this works exactly the same as Stockholm Syndrome. Hostages become accustomed to their captors' brutality, and are surprised and grateful whenever a captor grants them a small amount of compassion.
The lesson here, guys, is that paying attention or showing compassion to a woman is something to be done only in moderation. Too little and they start to avoid you, too much and they begin to expect it.
Bad people are more focused than we are.
We started off talking about women, and inside of four posts we're discussing the merits of different browser types.
Weaselmancer
rediculous.
Two words: Ladder Theory.
LRN 2 SWM
I was the classic bad boy... got expelled from my district early in school, came back freshman year of high school. Only had a couple _very_ brief relationships.
Seriously. Cut it out.
You'll get laid just as much as you do now, but with less headaches.
And maybe by asserting yourself you might impress some girl. Strange that pushing them away seems to attract them, but it is sometimes true.
Weaselmancer
rediculous.
And I can't even bring my self to experiment being bad, because I deebly despise all forms of manipulation and treating people badly. I would even state that talking someone into bed with you is a form of rape (I am a sort of straight-edge fundamentalists as I also despise drinking and drugs while not being religious in any way).
I like that article. Reminds me of the Ladder Theory.
Weaselmancer
rediculous.
Uncircumsized men don't need lubrication to masturbate ;)
Sounds like some evolutionary biologists are a bit bitter.
The thing is guys.... we're all assholes! Ask any girl (if you know any).
You shoudl be smatr enouhg to raelize that teh pesron is probalby a dyslexic.
Guns don't kill people; Physics kills people! - John Lithgow as Dick Solomon on Third Rock From The Sun
...that mankind subconsciously as a whole wants to propagate the (perceived) stronger genes of the species..
We are still animals at our core, so why is anyone surprised?
---- Booth was a patriot ----
Uh, there are serious problems with this study, most notable that it relies upon self-reporting of sexual activity by at most a few dozen or so college-aged males (the total sample size is 200 men and women) who rank high in narcissistic, psychopathic, and manipulative behavior. Anyone else think there may be a problem with that?
Ironically, the lead author of this study has another one coming out entitled, "The power of prestige: Why young men report having more sex partners than young women."
I rant about all this a bit more here. ..bruce..
Bruce F. Webster (brucefwebster.com)
Oh yes, yet another "duh!".
But there's so much more behind this that has not been explored by serious scientists yet but mostly by pop psychology (check out some of the material in the "seduction community", David DeAngelo's stuff for example.)
Testosterone: It is known that some "Badness" is correlated with testosterone levels. Young men have a lot of it floating around, which makes them attractive to women. Later in life they mellow out or even get "wussified", i.e. have reduced testosterone levels typically from being in a LTR. Nothing wrong with that, it's obviously beneficial. Now too low testosterone levels are a disadvantage, that's why women seek out men with high testosterone levels, and the "Badness" may be a major indicator for that.
The "sexy sons" theory and runaway evolution: This kind of behavior might be yet another peacock tail. Females like it, and one of the reasons they like it that it would give sons an evolutionary advantage. Circular "reasoning" but positive feedback ensues until it runs up against a limit. Geoffrey Miller would probably say that these complex behaviors are the main reason we evolved a big brain in the first place.
Last not least, direct evolutionary benefit: Females of many species, including humans, are known to increase the genetic diversity of their offspring by cheating on a long term mate. Their long term mate is probably more of a "nice guy", so it would be advantageous, if they cheat, to cheat with somebody with a very different personality, i.e. genetic makeup. And of course you need somebody who's quick off the bat and not clingy for an affair.
thegodmovie.com - watch it
why serial rapists have so many girls.
A guy who isn't confident isn't going to take care of her.
You do not choose who you are attracted to-- it's emotional.
Picture girls as a computer with their own well-defined logic and set of instructions.
If you program them right, you will do well. Otherwise, you are going to get the blue screen of death.
David D'angelo has some good points and techniques- you can find a lot of his stuff on torrent sites.
Read it. Learn it. Know it.
Don't think of girls as bad/stupid but recognize if you do not press the right buttons, you are not going to get the right responses.
Mostly, you need to hit on/flirt with enough girls so that you get comfortable around women. As long as you are not comfortable, you are going to give them the creeps in subtle ways and chase them off.
She was like chocolate when she drank... semi-sweet at first and then increasingly bitter.
Girls aren't stupid, they know most guys just want to get in their pants. At least the "Bad Boys" are honest about it.
The whole being their "friend" is an underhanded tactic, if it wasn't then why do they complain about being one??
No one like a sneak!
Yes I agree, if she's saying that, then you should try and try hard.
Well basically the male is obligated to try hard with any female he really really wants. It is fine if she says no, but your not trying will just make everyone unhappy.
The Christian religion has been and still is the principal enemy of moral progress in the world. -- Bertrand Russell
Come on /. - you can do better than *that*!!!
;D
"...there are some things that can beat smartness and foresight. Awkwardness and stupidity can." ~ Mark Twain
Good thing there are enough 'Bad-Boys' out there to keep the huge population of wacko women occupied.
Most youngsters were not brought up with the education necessary to understand what life is really all about. (this includes you, most likely)
Because of this it can be difficult to understand what traits you should be looking for in a woman.
Women would definitely do well to fill in some of their 'missing information' by reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Heck, if we made the book a staple of the education system we might even be able to save America in a reasonable number of years.
Stay Honest
Al: Bud, what's more important, love or money?
Bud: Money, you can always rent love.
Negative Attention is the type of attention that bad boys give girls. Typically, the type of girl that seeks a bad boy wants attention more than anything. Negative attention will be more attention than positive attention in the eyes of someone who seeks attention. nope, I am not some shrink, some opiniated women full of fluff.. I have been there, done that, and I can see it now, but then I was blinded by what I thought was 'love' - whatever! Now, later, with a nice guy, I see what real love is from a spouse.
The 'bad boys' are an excellent litmus test for defective genes and/or bad upbringing in the women that are attracted to them.
People (well adjusted ones, that is) develop a sort of radar for personality defects somewhere in adolescence. As they learn, they are bound to make a few mistakes. The end result of which is the one with defective personality traits getting kicked to the curb and being back on the market for another relationship. The well adjusted one learns from his/her mistakes and makes a better selection the next time around, resulting in a longer relationship, but fewer of them. Meanwhile, the losers start to hook up with losers of the opposite sex for as long as they can tolerate each other.
These 'bad boy' studies all seem to treat the pool of available women as uniform. Its not. Look at what Kevin Federline's jackass punk image earned him.
Have gnu, will travel.
Women willfully confuse arrogance with confidence in their sexual partners. Limit state benefits to one child per mother and they'll start making smarter choices.
Because i was eating out your girlfriend last night.
You said, "Women who are abused are not the ones to blame. They are the ones who have the power to stop it but they are not really to blame."
Yes, women are to blame for what they do. They have the same responsibility for their own actions as men.
This is just more of the same old Slashdot pseudo-science that is posted as a real story.
"Bad boys" communicate that women have no responsibility toward them. That's what women want when they just want to have sex. Only that. Try it yourself. If you communicate that women have no responsibility, they will want sex with you, too.
You might need considerable practice, because at present you may have no idea what you are actually communicating.
Yes, it is a compliment when a woman wants to be intimate with you. But, after a lot of that, it gets annoying. Only a real, responsible relationship with a woman who wants to be true partners will give you what you need as a human.
If you communicate that you want a real relationship, then it will be difficult to find a woman in the United States, because the culture in the United States is going through a period in which women are very negative toward men.
Try different countries. Things can be very, very different in a country other than your home country. Put on a backpack and hitchike through Europe during the summer. I recommend the Greek island of Ios in July. (But, I haven't been there in a long time.) The Greeks are nice but the real attraction is other travelers from all over Europe. Two-thousand-five-hundred women and an equal number of men, with nothing to do but socialize.
Take buses and trains in less-developed countries. Stay in cheap hostels for backpackers. Read Let's Go: Europe. Read the Lonely Planet guides. You will meet women travelers who are a bit different because they also have decided to do a little more with their lives than stay home.
If you want a wife, try looking in Brazil, where women are a little less religious about avoiding responsibility. If you look in Brazil, don't just marry the first Brazilian woman who seems wonderful. Talk to your woman about responsibility. If you don't get good answers, try other women. Learn the Brazilian culture. Learn the Brazilian social sophistication.
You might also try Thailand, but you would probably need to learn to speak and write Thai, and you would need to learn an Asian culture, and it would be more difficult to find a truly mature woman. Remember the lyrics of the song "One night in Bangkok". Don't just fall in love with the first Thai woman who is nice to you.
Quote from the song: "One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble. Can't be too careful with your company."
The song is about a real event. One year the world chess championship was held in Thailand. The men went out at night, and were not prepared for the experience of being treated with gentleness. The Dalai Lama says that Thai people are gentle, and he's right.
I've seen it myself. One night, a long time ago, standing on the corner of Patpong road, a western woman was trying to get control over her western man again after he had seen in a Thai bar that a woman could be truly gentle with a man. All the man had known in his entire life, apparently, was women being harsh with men.
Again, don't marry the first Thai woman who is nice to you. Learn the culture. Learn the special challenges of being multi-cultural yourself and having a multi-cultural relationship.
A good idea, if you are in a country in which the native language is not English, is to hang around a school that teaches English. When you see a woman who is interesting, offer to have a conversation in English with her, so that she can practice, if she will teach you the Thai culture. In Thailand, you might try visiting the
His theory is that they now have daughters in high school, and wish their daughters were interested in males like him, and not like the ones they themselves had dated.
You're probably just too hard for the girls to read. They're searching and searching for your MD5 Hash dumps....but they can't seem to find the real you. Its okay man...
If they're that high, they've run all out of speed before they reach you.
Wow....has anybody thought that maybe "Bad Boys" simply have treats that make them attractive? I invite this whole community to do some research on the 'net and try to find the answer to "what do women find attractive?"
The astonishing answer....they like -masculinity-! (shocker, huh?) and what does that entail?
I'll leave it there, I know you guys are smart enough to figure things out, find those who know and learn from them.
~LF (yes, an anonymous coward...for now)
I read this years ago, and it still holds true today. In fact it has probably held true ever since most marriages are no longer arranged, and will continue to do so for many years.
Ladder Theory
I'm a good cook. I'm a fantastic eater. - Steven Brust
Unfortunately, I have a LOT of experience with this subject. Here are a few observations:
1) The "bad boy" isn't a leader because he's bad. He has acquired leadership because most people are morons and mistake CHARISMA for intelligence, wisdom, and ability. Charismatic people have the ability to convince others that what they say or do is right. Usually, they are full of sh*t.
2) Nice guys aren't exciting. The bad boys are always the life of the party because they are doing things that would normally be considered inappropriate in a civilized world.
3) Bad boys take a lot of unnecessary risks thus making them appear rebellious and therefore exciting.
4) Bad boys never get cut down to size or have their ass handed to them in verbal or physical combat. This cements the notion that they are invincible. The earlier this starts, the harder the cement. And by the time they hit their teens, they are completely unaware of the consequences of their behavior. Nobody has come down on them like a ton of bricks when they give the nerd a wedgie. Basically, they are completely self-centered a**holes.
5) Women get all hot for the bad boy because THE WOMEN WANT A CHALLENGE. That being the challenge of taming him. This usually has disastrous results because of #1 and #4. Bad boys will never change because their sense of right and wrong is warped and don't believe they should change.
6) As a corollary to #4, women who go for the bad boy also have a warped sense of right and wrong so they can't be changed by a nice guy either. They get this warped sense of right and wrong from television and Madison Avenue. I offer into evidence the proliferation of TV shows and commercials that portray the husband/boyfriend as an inept moron and the wife/girlfriend as a total rocket-scientist. Women in the last 30 years or so have come to believe this. Men also seem to believe it in that they have become chickified.
If people were logical, women would seek out the intelligent capable males as they would be able to think and do their way out of life's problems as opposed to the "THAG SMASH!" way of doing it.
But of course, when have women EVER behaved logically.
But who would win in a fist fight? Don't diss Machiavelli when there are baby stompers looking for drugs inside of small children that would put De Sade to shame.
Brian: You wanna know how to get women? There's only one place to observe. (They go outside and look over at Quagmire's house.) Just watch.
Woman: (runs out the front door) I am not doing that, Glenn!
Quagmire: Come on, beautiful! Keep an open mind!
Woman: You're a sick man!
Quagmire: (yells) Hey, keep it down! I don't want my neighbors seeing a fat, old, dirty whore screaming at me on my front lawn.
Woman: Whore?! (pauses, then more calmly) Well, maybe I should come inside.
Quagmire: Well, maybe you should.
Stewie: What the deuce? Why the hell would she respond so positively to such a negative comment? Unless... Brian, do women like it when you treat them like crap?
Brian: Well I don't know if you wanna be so black and white about it -
Stewie: Wait, that's it! Women respond when you treat them like crap!
Scientific proof that women love bastards.
-- I Am Not A Terrorist.
The study examines the correlation between the "dark" personality traits and number of sex partners.
What a complete waste of money.
The study only confirms the definitions of the terms. Call it circular reasoning if you like. (All definitions involve circular reasoning.)
On one hand, some people out there value monogamy and wait for marriage. On the other hand, others try to get as many as they can. Naturally, the one trying for more partners will tend to have more partners.
This study also brings up the question of how to count the number of partners. Do they just rely on the guy's word? How many guys stretched the truth?
Can I have a million dollars to study whether politicians with stronger ethics receive less bribes?
"Hey baby, want to come over to my place and see my latest virus??"
The traits mentioned at the "dark triad" also tend to fade with youth, not always, of course, but I'd say more often than not.
When I was young, I drank, smoked pot, drove fast, got in fights, and yes, got lots of girls, would sleep with a friends girl friend, etc. 25 years later, I have a wife, kids, home, etc. I'm different, I out grew those traits.
I suspect that the part they seem to be missing is that those traits are needed to buck the establishment and make your way in the world when you are starting out. As you become successful, those traits become less effective and their expense becomes too high.
Alot of people are acting as if men don't look for "bad girls". And what about the geek girls? The "nice" girls? Is it easy to find a compatible guy? Not necessarily. From my experience, it's just as difficult for a girl to find a guys because everyone assumes shes taken (especially if she's "geeky" or "one of the guys".) I've met so many guys who are just as not interesting or boring, or dull. All they care about is having fun and getting in a girl's pants. They only want the bad girls. I want someone who has a sense of humor, geeky, who is intelligent, who can have a good mature arguement or conversation. It ain't easy for either gender.
I'm no casanova but in my experience, making a woman laugh is as close as you can get to making her cum using ordinary conversation. It doesn't matter that much what you look like, if you can do this, you will have her attention, and if you project confidence about yourself (or, really, about just about anything), she will date you. Studies like this are interesting but it's hard for them to tell us much that we don't already know intuitively since there are so many variables to control for, such as sense of humor.
I'm a Nice Guy, but just once I turned a girl that I wasn't really into, into a science experiment. I treated her like shit, and had her eating out of the palm of my hand.
When I ended things, she would not stop calling me and saying things like, "I know we can make this work," etc. She was doing the driving-past-my-house thing, too. Finally I convinced her to leave me alone.
It disgusts me to this day that being an asshole for a couple weeks brought me more success than a lifetime of being nice.
http://www.blowmeuptom.com/
In GOD we trust, all others we monitor.
So he who is without guile is without girl.
Technically, murder-suicide does not violate the golden rule.
Girls respect guys who don't let women walk all over them. Men seem to be more inclined to do anything for their female partner in a relationship. In all of my relationships I've only paid for half of the dinners, half the movie tickets, etc... Most of the friends I have let the women make the decisions, and then when they break up they're heart broken. Love in my experience is like a game of poker, if you're holding all the good cards the other person is never going to want to leave you. The person who gives less and takes more will never be broken with up. So it's no wonder that men who aren't trying to appease get more respect from women and thus more of them.
What a stupid troll of a summary. Psychopathy is only a negative trait from the viewpoint of the other guy. For the psychopath himself (or his mate), it is wonderful. Everyone likes to always dwell on the potential negative results of psychopathy, and never on our many positive traits. We have very little fear, remorse, or self doubt. We can accomplish anything. We can kill someone without hesitation, if the need arises. You cannot threaten or intimidate a psychopath. Instead of fear, or sadness, we feel anger. When it comes down to "fight or flight", we default to "fight," even when outnumbered, outgunned, etc. Psychopaths are typically the ones you see running major corporations, countries, or in other places of power. When civilization collapses, psychopaths will be the ones who take charge, take control, and thrive. A psychopath can be your greatest ally, or your greatest enemy. It's a pity that we are cast in such a negative light, but when it comes down to it, none of us really give a shit about you or your pitiful negative opinion. Opine all you want, but don't step in our way.
Girls want to play games. They're emotional beings, who need some push and pull to feel stable themselves. If you don't fight with your girlfriend at least once a week, she'll leave you eventually.
More than that, "nice" guys make the mistake of trying to get into a serious relationship way too early. Only religious nutcases or the severely codependent girls are looking for that before 25. You have to wait for them to stop "exploring" (aka fucking random dudes/chicks) and for that biological clock to kick in.
Also, remember that it's in this order:
1) Power (money/success/position)
2) Fitness
3) Sense of humor
4) Resemblance to father
If you want to get laid every night, you need to look good, feel good about yourself, be enough of an ass to advertise these thoughts at a bar and make a move. Women go to bars for the same reason you do - to get laid.
Just using these girls here for advertising my point. Oldest marketing trick in the book.
PS: The ones that laugh are the best in bed. The crazy ones are better. Just make sure you use their apartment instead of yours, or get a hotel. Changing your number is more of a headache than spending a hundred bucks.
So, in short, society is telling anyone who will listen feel-good, egalitarian, and utterly wrong information about how to act around women. The successful ones, for once, don't read the documentation.
Generally, I'm not successful with women, so take this list with a grain of salt. But docs do existFrom Men:
- David DeAngelo
- The Mystery Method
- The Game
From Women:
- Romance Novels
- Erotica
- Chick Flicks
What would expect the studies to say?
Shouldn't there be a Simpsons reference? Maybe something about that Lisa Nelson Muntz episode?
But it is not an excuse. Women who repeatedly get used in these types of relationships and then go cry to their geek friends deserve no sympathy.
It's simple, Good boys are committed and monogamous. Bad boys keep trawling for quantity over quality, often winding up with other dregs of society. I have a gem from my first and only marriage.
Bad boys are the ones in the who's the daddy daytime TV paternity games where the bad girls and bad boys try to figure out who pays for which kid.
In short, bad boys engage in bad behavior.
The truth shall set you free!
"Only a real, responsible relationship with a woman who wants to be true partners will give you what you need as a human."
And what, pray tell, is THAT? What do I NEED that I can't supply myself? Roof/Food are covered by my decent employment - better off than many 2-income couples. I know how to cook, clean, and most everything else.
I'm GUESSING that you mean true companionship - and if so, no thanks, I don't need it. Too often I get the "Why aren't you married yet?" or "Why no kids?" spiels from the divorced and/or burdened folk.
Ok, some of my dear friends WANT exactly that - one can't wait to start a family up. Not me.
And it isn't like homo-sapiens is a genetically monogamous critter. Alpha-males SHOULD get more women - and simultaneously.
Please - tell me what it is that a woman can give me as a human that I need?
PS -- if any women are reading this: I think you're a piece of shit. Don't i look handsome tonight. Let's go skydiving! oh, there's an opening in my harem - the "application" doesn't take long to fill out.
A lot of "bad girls" get the boys too. But, the difference is, 99% of the time, after we are done with them for the night, we're done with them. The "bad boy/good girl" problem is that the girls think they can change the bad boy. Buzzzzzzzzzz ain't gonna happen.
There is some research that indicates a link between sex and intelligence here
Testosterone supposedly peaks at around 100 IQ, it declines as IQ increases or decreases. Higher IQ men seem to have lower testosterone, seem less manly, fewer indicators for testosterone.
Nice guys = intelligent guys = low testosterone = Slashdot.
Simple as that.
And short of taking testosterone shots which will perhaps lower intelligence, there is little the "nice guys" can do about the preference of women for the bad boys. Heck then it becomes a male race to the most testosterone laden, the male equivelant of breast implants for the ladies.
[The Beauty Arms race of cosmetics, plastic surgery, fashion, etc. ought to tell guys women are pursuing a few high-testosterone men in a consumerist society.]
The comments here and on the original post absolutely amaze me as to how few people understand some basic tenets of sexual attraction, the choosing of a long-term mate and basic human nature. There's WAY too much generalization in all of these comments. Not ALL women look for the "bad" guy. Not all "bad" guys are evil. When dealing with matters of sex one is wise to remember different strokes for different folks. That said, here's some things I've learned in my life running the gamut from a young "bad" boy touring internationally in a rock band for most of my 20's to a 30-something stable businessman happily married to one of the most gorgeous and wonderful women on the planet.
- If you're a kid and you don't play football, then learn to play a guitar or learn the turntables. That coding you're doing may lead to some good times much later as you make coin, but until then tunes are your ticket. Chicks dig "Hello" from AC/DC or Oasis more than "Hello World" from Java.
- By and large women are attracted primarily by confidence over looks. Never second guess yourself whether you are Steve Buscemi or Steve McQueen. Carry yourself confidently. You're money whether you know it or not. But don't get carried away or you'll find yourself in douchebag territory real quick. That might work for you at times, but at the end of the day you'll still be douchebag.
- Being "nice" is tricky. It's an art. Too nice and you're in the friend zone. Not nice enough your not in any zone. It'll take some practice but I have faith in you.
- Don't wait. If you see a girl you fancy go and talk to her. Ask her for her phone number. If you're in a smaller town or city ask her just for her name. You'll probably see her again and you've shown that you aren't afraid. Women generally don't dig men who are afraid. No woman alive won't appreciate the attention as long as you don't act like an idiot. Don't overreach. Stay at the high-end of your particular confidence range, but don't overextend with some bullshit pickup line. Be you, but the most self-assured you possible. If you get shot down don't sweat it. There's more bogeys out there Ace. And besides, that female isn't offended as long as you approached her like a gentleman. Believe me. You could even try again at some point with that same woman even if she literally kicked you in the nuts the first time (Weird Science anyone?). Many women love to be pursued and you won't ever know if you don't try. In crass terms this is the "shot's on goal" theorem.
- Drugs are cool. I don't care what anybody says. So are motorcycles, tattoos, firefighting, guns and surfboard riding. The more dangerous the better, but be careful. Nobody has confirmed if you get to have sex after you are dead.
- Lying is bad. Don't do it. The karma gods are watching and you could be asking for a sex drought that will leave you desperate and defeated. There IS some wiggle room here of course. Where that line is drawn depends on your personal moral compass.
- If you want to go raw dog then get tested and get a girlfriend. HPV is literally running rampant. if you're a guy you most likely won't know if you're a carrier but you'll have some VERY unhappy customers.
- Speaking of customers... customer service is job #1. Go the extra mile. Girls talk and reviews matter. Trust me on this Daniel San.
- If you are looking for a girlfriend and you get one (see it wasn't that tough) wait at least several weeks before launching into a marathon Team Fortress 2 session. Unless she's game. In which case you're stoked. HINT: I've never seen a girl not dig on Rock Band or the Wii in general. Test the waters there before moving on to other, loftier titles. WOW sessions are at your own peril. You better be SUPER-solid before you bust out the Bloodrazor.
- Get your kicks early. Do whatcha need to do and then be done. Otherwise you may end up with a mustache and a Ferrari at 40. If you hit 30 and you're still not even looking for at least po
Although it's common to blame a victim that doesn't mean that it's acceptable.
Two years ago my teenage daughter was murdered by her ex-boyfriend. She felt that she could "help him" and, like many an eighteen year-old, thought she was immune from dating violence.
Rather than blaming victims why don't we instead focus on the "bad boys" (or "bad girls") that exhibit this narcissistic behavior? Why don't we hold them accountable for their actions? Our society has forgotten the value of Accountability (with a capital "A") and it's time for that to change.
It may be comforting to believe that these victims "should know better" or "got what they deserved" because it gives us the false illusion that this is a situation that we (and our loved ones) would never find ourselves in, but that is cold comfort indeed when it happens to you or yours.
Instead of ranting online or to your buddies over a few beers actually do something to affect positive change. Although you may feel that you're making a difference by sharing your thoughts on Slashdot or via your blog, remember what Edward R. Murrow said:
Get out into the community and help. There are many organizations (including mine) that are trying to make a difference and would love to have some help.
JAGga.me ----> Producing video games addressing emotional health and wellness issues affecting teens.
is to collect data on the cluelessness of nerds.
The responses to this have been unbelievable. "... wasting your best fucking years ...", " ... its her fault...", "... she wants someone like you...". 'Get a grip' would seem like an appropriate response, but it seems like many of you have been gripping a little too much.
And for the logic impaired:
I am a bad guy, thus I have sex with lots of women.
does not imply that
I never have sex, thus I am a good guy.
The misogynistic rants disguised as 'poor me, I am too smart to be mean to women' would be frightening they weren't impotent whining.
Widesweeping generalizations:
1. Almost everyone enjoys sex.
2. Almost everyone has fantasies about who they want to have sex with.
3. Some people realize their fantasies.
If you want to be included in #3, do something about it. Probably involves burning the porn collection and actually learning how to be interesting to someone other than 'old lefty'; but it could be worth the effort.
And, for the record, some of the 'bad guys' stats are skewed because they would fuck a snake if nothing else were available. A similar study of 'bad girls' would show the same bias.
...just because "bad boys" get more women doesn't mean that all (or most) women like bad boys. I know plenty of girls who prefer good guys. And every good guy I know who puts in a little effort dips their wick plenty. It's probably true that good guys tend towards longer term relationships, and thus they have fewer different girls, but who cares? Personally I find sex improves with familiarity.
This article is just more of the contest mentality that makes most people feel crappy about themselves. There's a lot of good people out there, more than enough for everyone. Be good, be yourself, be assertive with your attraction. Assume until you're told otherwise that the girl wants you too. Don't worry about what others think of your sex life; just have a good time with your partner.
Cheers.
You became a statistic. You didn't meet anyone who loved you, because it was the undertaking of your subconcious that over-reasoned your understanding. What happens today is you will most likely agree with some ideological belief to support that same behaviour in your children with your left hand, while in your right hand you will agree with legislation that spurns the same behaviour to be punnished by mobilized thugs looking to intervene in the form of Social Service; they'll draw some blood in a vial to be put in a database, which you agreed to create, and then they'll administer your inoculation and vaccine for STD's that don't exist, which you agreed to prepare for while the effect of the vaccine is a mild case of Asperger's Syndrome or a combination of ADD and ADHD with some new sugar allergy.
The point being of the problem is: you acknowledged this as a disability, you publicised it for a remedy, you became receptive to regulate it for the better, you lost the original rite of it, and now it has been incorporated into a wheel of fiction that you created.
You have become a fascist, and the estate is now closed to you; because you do not pwn in anymore. 'tard.
Wow, obviously submitter is jealous and can't get women. How the hell did this story make it onto the /. front page?!?
Only on Slashdot would this kind of "News" that "matters" be discussed so much. Is this the first news item ever where we haven't had a whole thread dedicated to denying the news item and starting a flame war? ;-)
That said, here's the bottom line truth. Psychopaths of these sorts get a lot of girls, but they tend to only get the crappy ones. Quantity over quality, I say. Gorgeous looking not being one of the criteria involved in "quality" in this case. There seems to be an abundance of girls that fall for assholes, and do it over and over again. So if you want one of these girls, just be a psychopath. If you want better, never mind. I'm sure even the most naive /.er has a friend or two (that happens to be female) who has been in one abusive relationship after another. As if they're attracted like magnets to assholes.
A similar one is that married men get more chicks. Again, it's true. But I think this one is a bit too much from the world of fantasy and fiction for most on /. anyhow. ;-)
Psychopaths are obstacles. Like sharks or burning houses. To be recognized and dealt with accordingly. All psychos are essentially the same; they can only mirror behavior because they are incapable of generating their own personality. They don't have one. No ability to love or understand love; just ego. Black holes; any energy spent on them is wasted utterly; it goes nowhere but down. They are not to be feared; they are to be understood and destroyed. We as humans, need to understand that there is no ability to recover or become repaired in the psychopath. The only answer is to remove them from positions of power and either incarcerate them for life or destroy them. The world would be almost unrecognizably better without the psychopath; wars, poverty and hunger, injustice; nearly all of this can be traced back to these black hole personalities, and the sooner we recognize them and commit ourselves to their extermination, the better.
This "shiftless" user#410350 needs to be flagged and traced to the individual in question and have the police made aware of its potential for conscienceless murder, rape, and general evil. This is not a joke. The desire to give a free and fair chance to psychopaths, to give them the benefit of the doubt, is what gives them power over us; they do not offer the same generosity. Somebody who openly claims to be psychopathic is probably psychopathic and needs to be treated the same way as somebody who jokes about leaving bombs in airports.
Learn about the Psychopath in order to protect yourself. An excerpt. . .
Depends on what YOU'RE looking for in a long term relationship. Do you want to be with a woman in a long term relationship who is so stupid that she goes after "bad boys", or someone you are not? Or do you want a woman with a real brain on her shoulders who is looking for someone special to share the rest of her life with? I mean, just think of the depth of a relationship between an agressive man and a woman who is looking for her "daddy". Wow! Sounds like they must have a real deep, loving relationship with lots of meaning! I'm envious....
The reeson they go for the bad boys is it is a test of their power. This like when youse go to the gym. Youse do not go for the teeny weights that the women are using for their arobic garbage you head straight to the big iron.
This is why the womens go after the bad boys. The good guys just ain't no work out, so there is no sense of achievement.
What the??? Hey, this isn't gymrat.com? I think that kid I gave my computerizer to and told to change my grades did something to my computerizer.
I know some nice guys who had lasting, happy relationships, but often enough it was the jerks that lasted longer, because the girls felt some sort of weird responsibility to them.
A lot of nice guys go from 0 to doormat in about 60 seconds. At first the woman will be impressed, but the demands will ramp up in a twisted game of "how far can I go, how much can I get." Yes, the guy might be getting laid, but he'll also be getting treated like crap otherwise. Sometimes the sex lets the relationship last longer that it otherwise would without, but in the end the guy finally either gets dump, or manages to get the hell out.
So yeah, while some of those nice guys might settle down, other just settle, and many end up going through the continual dating circus just as much as the not-so-nice guys. In fact, these guys end up just as jaded as the women, though often enough they pick up enough skills to get laid etc.
For myself, I'd say I qualify as one of those guys. A lot of women these days comment at how nice I still am, but I've learned to avoid a lot of dating situations that have the potential to turn ugly. Of course, in some cases they might have turned out well, but a little healthy dating paranoia is the consequence of a string of really f***'ed up relationships. In the end I tend to have a lot of close female friends, but I'm not willing to let it go beyond that.
If you've still managed to keep enough of those "nice guy" characteristics and want to meet a nice girl, you'll may have to check your criteria. I see a bunch of suggestions about dating Asian women. Partly these are true, but don't expect everything to be "perfect", and keep in mind that "asian" is a pretty damn broad brush (there's Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Thai, and many others that may differ greatly in culture and expectations). I've also had a tendency to find that big-city girls in that aspect will start trashing you fairly early on.
My current girlfriend is asian (and specifically Chinese), but she's also older than me and a whole lot more mature than a lot of girls I dated. She's had crap relationships, I've had crap relationships, and we've both a little wary but otherwise getting along fabulously. I think the most amusing arguments we've had are about who will clean the dishes (and we've both volunteering).
So yeah, a nice guy can get a good girl, but if you're trying to bed the high-school cheerleader then maybe it's not just the girls that have skewed criteria for dating, hmmm.
Okay, some of them are obvious, but "feynman"?
Well not quite, but a bimbo will probably have as many sexual partners as any badboy, which will probably be more than the general population. Personality that looks for multiple partners and all that jazz.
Sorry, maybe it's 'cause I'm a girl, but I don't get what this is on slashdot, aside from why some of it's readers are not getting laid-which really, I know plenty of nerds who outrank the "badboys" in the "traid of bad behaviors" who still can't get laid.
I'm also curious about the correlational chain here-are these guys just more confident in themselves and therefore just more likely to ask the girl out? A guy can be fabulous, but if he never hits on the girl how the hell is she supposed to know he's interested?
open source modern art: laser taggi
If these traits help you be more successful, than by what criteria are they "bad" or "dark"?
Saying someone has risk taking behavior is just another way of saying they are brave. Cowardice is not a virtue.
Saying someone is narcissistic is just a way of saying they have a healthy sense of self worth.
You can take good traits, and rename them as something bad all day long; however, these are merely the attitudes of someone who is lacking, trying to make up for it by pretending that what they lack is a bad thing.
The most legitimate criteria for judging behavior is how successful it makes someone. A moral system that upholds those who fail as shining ideals is problematic.
Consider, what if we lived in a society where the *dumbest* people were seen as the most virtuous and best. Intelligence of an individual in modern society is clearly necessary for both that individual and society to survive and thrive. Yet, the intelligent could be seen as somehow evil because their existence is problematic to those who are dumb, as they are easily able to acquire more money and resources than some people might feel is their "fair share."
Similarly those with assertive personalities and at least some exploitative behavior are sometimes resented because they are able to obtain more success than seems "fair." However, these traits are clearly necessary in some degree both to the individual and society. If people can't take what they want and takes risks, they can't strive to achieve greatness, and will merely wallow in mediocrity. Nor can someone without an assertive personality defend himself properly.
What would society be like if everyone was polite and courteous all the time and never took more than an equal share? It wouldn't be life at all. Such behavior is contrary to the behavior of all living things, contrary to evolution. Living things that do not compete would merely degrade over time. Without individuals with exploitative behavior there would be no one to remove the weak members of the gene pool. Without predators to weed out the sickly and weak, the prey themselves will suffer in the long run.
The articles assertion that these personality traits are evolutionarily beneficial, is clearly true. What is false and self contradictory is the suggestion that these personality traits are somehow bad or "evil."
Couldn't the "bad boys" simply be choosing to have more mates? Of course they are! It's the nice guys who generally want to be monogomous, settle down, have a family and all that. Naturally the "bad boys" who don't care about monogomy are going to be the ones who bounce from mate to mate. And another new study has found that men who like ham sandwiches tend to eat more ham than the average guy.
Anyone who's been in the PUA community knows this. This is not news. Yes it IS the used/abused/crying girls that are at fault. They by design seek any situation that they can not be blamed for. Its why the bad boys get the girls, so they don't have to accept blame for getting knocked up.
Fuck the girls, they are at fault. Rape at will gentlemen, science has proven they really do like it and no means DOES mean yes.
Most nice guys are used as intellectual whores. Basically this means that whenever a girl gets in an argument with their boyfriend, they will go complain to their intellectual whore, who thinks by listening to her whine will get him in bed with her, when he is sadly mistaken. "An Intellectual Whore is a man who a woman keeps around for intellectual purposes. She is uninterested in him sexually and considers him a friend. He probably wants to sleep with her, so he pretends to be her friend in the hope of one day getting sex." Link Here, it appears to be down at the moment.
Guys, you owe it to yourself to check out http://www.dont-marry.com/ Whatever happens, don't get married. Ever. It's just fsckin misery after a couple years, at best.
they only used college students, they didn't seek any female opinions...
haha on whoever tagged it republican!
"Dear Mom,
I'm a little worried about George, he seems a bit on the wild side, but it kinda turns me on! He definitely isn't going to get all A's at Yale and he drinks too much. Still I will stick by him come what may because he has this magnetism. I hope you will understand. Love, Laura"
"Bad boys" is a term that is impossible to quantify. Also, if you just define "bad boys" as people who will do anything to "get" a girl (I presume this means they have sex with them once, then the relationship is terminated) then I would say yes, but so what. A "bad boy" can "get" a lot more of many things than someone who is genuinely concerned for his fellow human being. The unspoken rules of dating are meant to weed out people who are incompatible, but a "bad boy" will lie to convince his potential mate that he is compatible. Most people choose to respect these rules out of respect for fellow human beings. So another assumption is that "getting" a woman is the primary purpose of all dating, which is not true for many people other than the "bad boys" (stop making me type that stupid term!). Not dealt with: Guys who like guys, or other combinations of non heteronormative relationships. This articile simply trots out an insecurity that many people deal with and sprays it with hormones squeezed from the authors anal glands after pasting on a psudoscientific facade.
Bad guys make more money.
duh, indeed.
It's not about Bad vs Nice (or Evil vs Good).
Even if the nicest guy pretend to be a selfassured and a prosperous, but stays nice and well-mannered same time, it's better combination than being just "bad". Every one need to build own "shield", as "fake me" who they pretend to be. Just "bad boys" do it wrong and goes too deep on this pretending, actually hurting them self in long run.
"Nice guys" usually just trust that someone sees them, but they need to step out of the afraighten state and just being "strong" one... act more like a alpha male, but not being jerk.
Like the saying goes: "It's a nice to be important, but it's important to be a nice"
Maybe nice guys do lose out, is that healthy?
Heck no. Look at Pitcairn Island. After Fletcher Christian and the mutineers from the Bounty sailed there with a few women, and a bunch of Tahitian men, they all slaughtered each other over the women. Big shock that.
At the end of the day, the guys without women are going to do the same thing, until only a few are left. This is why it took so long for modern humans who appeared 70-50 thousand years ago to get to this point of civilization -- rivalry over women ALWAYS rears its head, and with a few guys having most of them it's a disaster. Someone's always waiting to stick a spear into even the biggest Alpha when he's not looking.
By what, three separate women? Britney, Shar Jackson, and some other woman?
He's got money, fame, power, and the paps love him. As do, let's be honest, a lot of women.
Sure, guys hate him, and most would be happy to see him on a long term mission to Jupiter or Pluto, but Britney, Shar Jackson, and some other women had kids with him.
Who is the reproductive success? Federline. He could walk into any club and go home with probably any woman in it. So much for his jackass punk image. Women love that stuff.
I used to criticize women who fell for "bad boys" ..... 'til I feel for what you could call a "bad girl".
Hell, I didn't even realize how bad was treating me until *after* the relationship. Despite friends and family reacting towards how disrespectful she was treating me while we where together.
Love blinds.
The sun is hot, water is wet, and Cowboy Neal is an option in the /. poll.
Homonyms are fun!
You're driving your car, but they're riding their bikes there.
The article says:
and...
Could it be that they were using those exploitative Machiavellian traits against the interviewers to make their sexual escapades sound more prolific than they really were?
-dZ.
Carol vs. Ghost
Damn... this is bad news - as if struggling to be a good, well behaved boy wasn't hard enough as it already is...
-- we turn sound into light...
But it is not an excuse. Women who repeatedly get used in these types of relationships and then go cry to their geek friends deserve no sympathy. They should be smart enough to figure it out.
This study is flawed. You can be a good powerful guy and attract plenty of chicks, celebrities and rich good men attract women.However if you aren't rich, and you aren't powerful, then you can't be boring, and lets face it, good guys are boring.
A lot of women like the excitement of being beat up, cheated on, abused, yelled at, cussed at, and perhaps the sex is better.
The solution, if you are good, prove yourself by making lots of money, because power is all that most women look for in a man. Just ask Trump.
Power is sexy, it always has been, and anyone who has it always attracts the hottest women. It's really the only true way to attract hot chicks.
It has nothing to do with being good or bad. All you need is a great job, a nice car, dress nice, speak properly, of course be polite and use the right words, be a bit mysterious, and you'll attract hot chicks.
It's simple, women are attracted to power. So go get some.
It's a competition for the women, thats why you spent so much time reading all those damn books and going to school, thats why you got your degree and your good job and nice car. You aren't fooling anybody.
You got that right. And your entire post is interesting when compared to the actual article which I don't think many people have read (surprise, surprise). The study concluded that people with certain negative traits had more partners in a given time. Conclusion: They can't or wont keep a relationship going. We can presume that people without these traits are more capable or simply happier being with one person. All your suggestions are about how to find such a person. The "bad boys" in this study are seemingly after casual sex.
The headline is a little less inflammatory when you translate it as "self-centred people are more likely to bounce from partner to partner than to have one particular partner."
You had it right the first time. Bad boys don't make good husbands, they make good one night stands though, and thats what happens most of the time.Besides, if it were your daughter would you let her marry a bad boy?
Mr. Dr. Prof. or something like this.
It helps if you have the money to take her out to nice places and give her the shock and awe treatment.
It helps if you can buy her gifts, and keep her looking pretty.
Basically, the sugar daddies get even more women than the bad boys. The bad boys don't have money, or power, so the only way they have to get a woman is cave man style, they have to trick women into sleeping with them.
It's a lot easier if you can be yourself and have women trying chasing after you than to be the guy who chases them, and the way to have women chase after you is to be smooth and successful.
Just about every smooth and successful type has no problem with women. Meaning, you need a nice job, and you need to know how to talk to women.
But there are different ways to attract women.
Bad boys attract a woman through her reptillian brain, not through her neocortex.
What this means is, women who are attracted to bad boys are not attracted to them for any serious rational reason. Most of these women aren't going to marry the bad boy types or even date them seriously.
Of course if all you want to do is get laid you don't have to be a bad boy, unless you are a dirt poor college student then perhaps.
More than once I've been there to pick up the pieces after some Neanderthal has done his work. Nothing burns like having someone you care about in your arms, in tears, and hearing her say, "I wish I could find someone like you..."
Like me, only an ape. Yeah, I know.
(Bitter? Me?)
There is a difference between being nice and being stupid. That's just stupid.Instead of picking up the pieces from abused women as a strategy to get laid(which is the path to friendship not casual sex), why not just focus exclusively on getting laid and refine your approach so as to minimize wasting your time?
If you just want to get laid you don't have to listen to her whine about all that junk.
If she really do say that isn't that more or less an invite? Have you tried kissing her once she say it? If not the blame is on you my friend.
Why would he want to date girl who dates losers?If she is not rational enough to date good guys, why exactly would you want to date her? She probably doesnt know what she wants yet.
What makes you think she's worth being kissed?
Shouldn't she have picked you in the first place?
By now if he were interested he should have told her.
The simple fact is, she's probably not interested in him sexually. Typically, women who like bad boys have a "bad boy" fetish where they prefer sex with bad boys.
If a guy is too nice perhaps he can kiss her and all, but it doesnt mean they'll be compatible in the bedroom so it wont matter. In the end he will probably end up hurt.
I think it would be a bad move, a stupid move, which at best could lead to them kissing but probably wont lead to anything serious.
If she's sexually attracted to bad boys there is nothing he can do to change this. It's simple, if he can't turn her on, he can't turn her on, it's more of a problem that he can't start her sexual engine even if she loves him emotionally.
Usually when a woman wants to have sex with you she will send the signal, she will make it known.
You just have to learn to read the signals. It has nothing to do with your interest in them and everything to do with their interest in you, you are a product and you are selling the one night stand, you have to convince them to desire and want sex with you, it helps if you look good and are into the same things sexually that they are into, and it helps if you have power because that turns women on in general.
You act like women don't have minds of their own.
First, if a woman is interested in you she wont be complaining about her bf or ex bf's to you, just the fact that she does this is evidence that she doesn't see you in that way.
Now, on the other hand, if she gets nervous around you, or if she flirts with you, then you have a chance.
Having more women isn't necessarily the same thing as having a better time of things.
I'm pretty much a good guy - steady job, 72,000 UK pounds per annum - clean driving licence, clean CRB, and believe me I've never ever had any kind of problem getting the women (or should I say woman) I want.
I have divorced friends who have had strings of short sexual flings with loads of women - but most of them freely admit that they haven't had really good sex in years. Something that's hardly a rarity for me and my wife of 20 years standing.
At work I frequently get sent the CV's of staff who are described as "experienced" by employment agencies - what they really mean is that they have worked for lots of employers - which generally equates to - they are so crap that they can't hang on to a job for two minutes.
I think people will catch my drift then in relation to the bad guys 'experience' - lots of relationships with women, none of whom they were able to hang on to for very long. or get the best out of.
Oh and did I say I like Firefox 3 ?
And for all you nice guys that are envious of those "bad boys"... The "bad boys" are guys the women don't want to let too far into their lives. The nice guys are spared from their games because they are nice guys. The nice guys are the type of guy they want in the long run. They want the intellectual sweet sensitive guy for the one they keep later one. And he resents that he's not getting laid, but again, the sex is a tool not the intended result for these women. She seeing it as she is being good to him by not using him in her games.
At their extreme, these traits would be highly detrimental for life in traditional human societies.
Which extreme personality traits aren't bad for society. All definable personality traits have their place in moderation within a healthy, evolving society. The worst of them are the ones that push society forward the fastest.
Neanderthals were probably a bunch of peace-loving emotionally connected hippies, and look what happened to them. Okay, that's speculation...
Why are you letting these clowns ruin our country?
What I don't get is my current situation. A younger, attractive, but overweight woman made advances to me. She's also smart and nerdy, so we hit it off. I was reluctant at 1st, but said, wtf and slept w her. She has a bf she's complained about, due to his inexperience w women and lack of sex drive. We have a great sex life. But lately she's been distant and actually paying attention to him. My guess is she wants his willingness to commit, which I'm reluctant to do (b/c I dont trust her, and her weight). What do I do??
I got my degree because I love the subject. Until I met the girl that became my wife, I had no plans on graduating. I had close to 50 hours in non-essential electives. You only need 8 in that particular group to graduate. I just kept taking classes that interested me.
If I wanted to spend that much effort on purely a money making college experience, I'd have taken business classes. Managers make more than the managed. Or I could have been a lawyer.
Plenty of jobs pay more than code monkey. If money to attract women was my sole object, I chose pretty poorly.
Weaselmancer
rediculous.
According to the article the reproductive strategy of the "dark triad" males is the shotgun approach (affairs, etc) where others raise their kids. They are successful because of the number of partners.
Thus birth control (used by women, since obviously the dark triad males won't use it) seems to be the ultimate nice guy weapon to prevent the spread of the dark triad genes.
So I guess this means geeks should be promoting birth control... besides abstinence I mean. :)
Complexity Happens
One thing I've heard is that alcoholics actually tend to be rather charming. So his charm may correlate with his alcoholism , rather than being 'despite' it.
I've found marriage to be the only real mistake I've made in my life, and the data supports that. Fortunately with the rise of Web 2.0 and social networking, guys are more able now to get educated about what marriage means for men in the U.S., and consequently there's talk of a "marriage strike" by young men since the early 90s. Which makes sense. Anyway, modern data indicates men are happier if they never marry, and just stay in committed but unmarried relationships. I think women ultimately will be better off too: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/women-are-happiest-with-first-love-and-men-with-serial-monogamy-study-finds-577451.html "Men are happiest when they are "serial monogamists" - having a succession of faithful relationships but never getting married, a study published today shows."
I will enjoy agreeing with your post with a side of Farber Beans *pft*pft*pft*pft*pft*, and await your acceptance of my invitation to your dinner.
Ok, it's known that nice guys have the problem. But some of us are probably more average on the nice to jerk scale and have another problem... Best described as "Johnny Bravo Syndrome" after the cartoon. And not necessarily because of how J.B. is himself, but rather the nature of the situations that come up repeatedly in the cartoon.
Here's the problem:
1. Any normal girl that you're actually attracted to pretty much either hates you or has nothing to do with you. Not necessarily out of your league in comparison either.
2. Yet there are women that can be interested in you, sometimes strongly, but are:
a. Too young. Nosy and come by to watch if you're doing yard work or otherwise going about your own business. Typically at the age where they think having a car and being able to buy beer = success. Cute, but they're in "Go directly to jail, do not collect $200" territory.
b. Too old. As in yech, that's wrinkly old. Unless "boomin' granny" is your kind of thing, you pretty much want to keep your distance.
c. Way too much trouble. The kind of woman that is completely nutters, is into drugs, involved with gangs/criminal activity (or perhaps has friends/family of that nature), or any combination thereof of destructive tendencies. She may even be hot, but very liable to drag you down with her or make you the scapegoat if anything goes wrong.
Anybody know how to get the ladies of category #1 to like you, yet have #2 keep away? Or is one doomed to perpetual awkwardness like J.B.?
Thanks for raising my kids to stupid bastards!
now tell us why voters select candidates with these traits.
Star Trek transporters are just 3d printers.
Die die die LOL
Not all of us can afford to take 50 non electives!
Women are no different than men. Growing up through high school, I was the stereotypical geek; very much over weight, with a fair amount of acne, braces and to make matters worse my gums were allergic to the metal so they puffed up like blow fish. Couldn't get a date throughout high school to save my life. College, I was shy and awkward and still a bit overweight but not quite as bad as I had been before.
Got out of college and got myself in to incredible shape, lost the last of my baby fat and suddenly every woman started noticing me (Famous people I've been told I look like: Brad Pitt, Leonardo Dicaprio, Johnny Depp in other words high cheekbones, light eyes incredible smile). Suddenly, it was no longer an issue that I was a nice guy, instead I became the ultimate catch. It is what it is, but it is my belief that on the deepest levels we're all attempting to find the best partner we can. Looks aren't everything, but they're a big part.
If you at the research though, people in long term monogamous relationship have more sex, just with fewer partners.
You know that cute quite girl you like who always sits in the corner? Yeah she was screaming my name when a banged her.
How about have a life of your own outside of your SO. Nothing makes me run faster than a "needy" male. I wised up after a relationship with a "nice guy" that was clingier than saran wrap.
Listen to the woman once in a while, the world doesn't revolve around you and your job. Even after you've gotten into her pants, it won't kill you to hear what she has to say.
Women can do things for themselves, if we want help, we'll ask for it.
There are times we want to go places with our friends, or alone. We're not plotting your demise, or out looking for someone new. Sometimes we need a little "space". No need to pout about it.
Be yourself, don't try to "impress" women with fabricated adventures, or your vast wisdom of every topic she mentions. I hate the "one up" game men play when I mention something. Or stalk off when my car has more horsepower, or I actually know more about the history of the classic Mustang (Ford) than they do. Face it, you don't know everything, neither do I, but I'll cheerfully admit it and listen and learn.
Not every woman wants to get married and have kids. If she tells you this at the beginning of a relationship, there's a good chance she'll feel the same at the end of it too.
I can't speak for most women, just myself.
I'm female who has been reading Slashdot for ages.. I rarely post as I'm happy to let you boys think we're not here so I can enjoy the usual candour.
I've dumped plenty of hot (physically fit) powerful (successful) men, and alternatively have adored some men to which either short or geeky or hairy could probably be applied. Why? Because these hot powerful guys I've met seemed happy to move immediately into a relationship with me based on shallow criteria (criterion). Looks good + doesn't need their money. Apparently they didn't need to know another thing more about me because of the way they would interrupt me mid sentence to interject with another story about themselves. They must have assumed I had an equivalent list as they always seemed shocked when I declined to see them again. Note to jocks: If your date hasn't said anything for the last thirty minutes, is grinding her teeth and narrowing her eyes at you across the table, then its not going well! And the percent at which your business has grown in the last quarter or how many sets you hit at the gym this morning are not going to get you the girl. ...listening, asking interested questions, and offering anecdotal stories about yourself that demonstrate you are following the conversation or have shared similar experience, maybe will. And this is something that geeky or introverted people are generally much better at.
But!
Often enough I've agreed to a date with a man, that I've not been initially attracted too simply because he had the confidence to ask. Ive then been pleasantly surprised to find him brilliant and charismatic company and the kind of date you don't want to end. It may be because I am a geek too but I really don't think anybody should bother with a date that is not into your intellect and personality.
Arrogant handsome bastard men might get noticed first but that doesn't make them what women are looking for. Women DO love nice men. I'm a nice girl, I want a nice man just with the accent being on 'Man' rather than Nice. Guys you can show that you are assertive without being a jerk. For example, making plans without asking first can show that you are capable of making decisions. "I'm hoping you are free __ and like ___ because I have got ticket/made reservations etc for__." You will still appear considerate because you ARE asking her opinion but do not seem weak because you were waiting for direction from her first. Personally I like it when a guy goes to hold my hand or kiss me without asking first; even if I haven't made up my mind about them, it immediately forces you to consider them in that context.
Puppy dog eyes scare me off because I know from experience how terrible it feels to disappoint someone who has had you on a pedestal. I have given up on a few Nice guys I've liked because they were too scared to make any moves at all... and SURE I can make the moves but I dont want to! It doesnt make me feel feminine (sexy). Note: Even once youre in a relationship, begging for sex is ALWAYS pathetic. If you want sex, make time for sex then make her want it.
So be your nice guy self AND do these things: Speak up. Make decisions. Take risks. Leave the Bad boys with the stupid chicks.
should try reading this essay and this essay on "Nice Guys." Who are anything but nice, IMHO.
http://www.big-big-truck.com/comics/sensitiveguy/sensitiveguy2.gif
And, no, I don't want to "type more than that for my comment." I think it says it all.