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Sperm Travels Faster Toward Attractive Females

A new study has shown that even sperm can be superficial. Researchers found that males of many animal species, including humans, can adjust the speed and effectiveness of their sperm by regulating the amount of seminal fluid they produce during copulation. The determining factor on that amount of fluid seems to be whether the male finds the female attractive.

347 comments

  1. Research by sopssa · · Score: 5, Funny

    I've actually done some research on this aswell. On majority of times when I found a good clip, I had to clean my monitor. This didn't happen when the clip was bad or the women on it unattractive. Hmm, wonder where they sell speedometers...

    1. Re:Research by thesolo · · Score: 4, Informative

      Only on /. could this comment get modded up to 5, Insightful.

    2. Re:Research by WebManWalking · · Score: 1

      By aswell, I assume you mean aswollen. As for speedometers, try a tennis tournament with one of those really pretty Russian blondes. They use speedometers to measure the speed of serves, but they probably have to factor out all of the ongoing research.

    3. Re:Research by Sponge+Bath · · Score: 3, Insightful

      This didn't happen when the clip was bad...

      Ugh, and I thought cleaning food crumbs out of the keyboard was nasty.

    4. Re:Research by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Maybe the moderators misread it; perhaps their monitors were grimy.

    5. Re:Research by X0563511 · · Score: 5, Informative

      quick tip: angle it back, so it doesn't land all over your shit, and lands on you. YOU can take a shower. Your computer, desk, and other such things cannot.

      --
      For large sets, this will be our guide even unto death, for the LORD will work for each type of data it is applied to...
    6. Re:Research by clone53421 · · Score: 4, Funny

      I was going to respond to this story and point out that the title should probably read "Sperm travels faster INSIDE attractive females", but in your case it's probably better as it was originally put.

      --
      Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
    7. Re:Research by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Try cleaning food crumbs out of the keyboard after semen has dripped down into the keyboard with them...

    8. Re:Research by khellendros1984 · · Score: 5, Funny

      And close your eyes and mouth. I really can't stress that enough.

      --
      It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
    9. Re:Research by elrous0 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Speak for yourself. I have a fetish for plain and ugly women. I walked into a public library the other day and almost lost it right there.

      --
      SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
    10. Re:Research by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Mouth yes, but your nerd goggles are already protecting your eyes ;D

    11. Re:Research by The+Faywood+Assassin · · Score: 2, Funny

      The goggles, zey do noh-zing!

      --

      "I'm a humble person really,

      I'm actually much greater than I think I am"

    12. Re:Research by couchslug · · Score: 1

      "Maybe the moderators misread it; perhaps their monitors were grimy."

      Or blocked by stalactites...

      --
      "This post is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
    13. Re:Research by prozaker · · Score: 1

      Ze goggles, zey do nothing!

    14. Re:Research by scaryjohn · · Score: 1

      I've actually done some research on this aswell.

      I dont know that the results can be generalized from heterosexual attraction to homosexual attraction. Those are the ass-wells you're talking about, yes?

      --
      One might ask the same about birds. What ARE birds? We just don't know.
    15. Re:Research by sean4u · · Score: 1

      Hmm, wonder where they sell speedometers...

      They're called seedometers

    16. Re:Research by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This made me laugh out loud!

    17. Re:Research by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If only this were true, there wouldn't be so many ugly mutant human beings in the world.
      More than 95% of the human population are ugly - i.e. mutants. In some countries it's 100% (Somalia, Bangladesh, etc.)

      Human beings use their brains to supply false information before and during mating- i.e. paedophiles fantasise about raping children while having sex with their wives, desperate sickos fantasise about attractive women while having sex with their ugly wives, etc. and go on to produce more and more fucked up, ugly children.

      Just look at muslims, for a prime example...

    18. Re:Research by the_one(2) · · Score: 1

      Are you afraid that if you get blinded by sperm you will be eaten by a grue?

    19. Re:Research by RockDoctor · · Score: 1

      I've actually done some research on this aswell. On majority of times when I found a good clip, I had to clean my monitor.

      Only on /. could this comment get modded up to 5, Insightful.

      In- sight- ful.

      "sight-" - the poster is talking about his monitor. You use monitors with the sense of sight.

      "Insight" - unless the poster has got particularly strange physiology in one of two ways, then the monitor will need to be within sight. One strange exception would result in a painful Newton's-3rd-Law reaction that really doesn't bear thinking further about. The other strange exception would involve extreme short-sightedness, to the point of being effectively blind. Which then leads to thoughts about what sort of porn you'd put on a braille display, and that's. Quite. Another. Topic.

      "ful." - evidently the poster's balls were full.

      "Insightful." Seems an appropriate rating to me.

      My mind is worryingly filled with poorly-formed images I get from thinking about porn on a Braille display. That disturbs me rather more than I'd expect. Scarily, I'm almost expecting SlashDot to inform me more than I ever wished ...

      --
      Birds are not dinosaur descendants;birds are dinosaurs, for all useful meanings of "birds", "are" and "dinosaurs"
    20. Re:Research by haifastudent · · Score: 0

      Only on /. could this comment get modded up to 5, Insightful.

      Presumably because other websites don't have the Insightful / Informative / Funny separation, nor do they stop at 5?

      --
      Thank for reading to the sig. You may stop reading now. It is safe. There is no more content. Why are you still reading?
    21. Re:Research by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Me too. From reading the headline only it was clear that this will be entertaining. /., news for wankers, stuff that flies.

    22. Re:Research by Hurricane78 · · Score: 1

      Actually, they can. You just have to use pure distilled water, optionally a special cleaning substance that does not attack the materials, and let it dry for a long time afterwards. I saved at least two keyboards with that method.

      Oh, and how about keeping your dick below the table at all? Set your chair to the lowest position, <cillit-bang>and the problem is gooooooooone</cillit-bang>.

      --
      Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.
    23. Re:Research by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Hey, some of us actually like to keep their mouth open, if you know what I mean. ^^

      (Posting AC because of religiously infected trolls.)

    24. Re:Research by Hurricane78 · · Score: 1

      There are sites for that too!*

      Rule 34 baby! It strikes again!

      ___
      (* No. My fetish is another one.)

      --
      Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.
    25. Re:Research by X0563511 · · Score: 1

      Now, the really good solution:

      Wear a condom.

      Why? Two reasons.

      1. Cleanup. Hell of a lot less trouble.
      2. Prolongs it. Lets you enjoy yourself a little more.

      Now, if you want to do it right, I suggest you go buy yourself a fleshlight. Since your not getting any real sex, you might as well have what fun you can get. Holy shit those are worth the cash.

      --
      For large sets, this will be our guide even unto death, for the LORD will work for each type of data it is applied to...
    26. Re:Research by Zantetsuken · · Score: 1

      You mean like this?

    27. Re:Research by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      > Ugh, and I thought cleaning food crumbs out of the keyboard was nasty.

      Yep, ugly clip and cleaning the keyboard from both the food crumbs and the short go is definitely nastier...

      Though moving the keyboard away from you-monitor line and using only mouse for the browsing definitely helps...

      I think it should be ISO-standarized as Best Practice...

  2. HUH? by arizwebfoot · · Score: 4, Insightful

    If she was not attractive, why would he even be in there? Unless of course it is right after the bars close.

    Oh wait . . .

    Bars = alcohol
    alcohol = drunk
    ugly girls = cute girls

    Now I've got it.

    --
    Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
    1. Re:HUH? by GPLDAN · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Thus: Beer Goggles leads to lower chance of pregnancy.

      Perfectly logical.

    2. Re:HUH? by Hogwash+McFly · · Score: 5, Funny

      So you're saying that the goggles actually do something?

      --
      Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?
    3. Re:HUH? by spun · · Score: 1

      Why would a (more than likely) rotund, homely, socially awkward nerd who (more often than not) smells of cheetos and flop sweat be in there with an ugly girl? I can't even begin to guess.

      --
      - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
    4. Re:HUH? by gstoddart · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      So you're saying that the goggles actually do something?

      *laugh* Oh sure, and I've already used my mod points!

      Cheers

      --
      Lost at C:>. Found at C.
    5. Re:HUH? by tacarat · · Score: 1

      Thus: Beer Goggles leads to lower chance of pregnancy. Perfectly logical.

      Don't you have that reversed?

      --
      "Common sense will be the death of us all"
    6. Re:HUH? by jo42 · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Depends on your definition of "attractive". Latest pop culture trend is to find large asses "attractive". Personally, I do not find large 'booty' or 'thick' females "attractive" and thus would not "hit it".

    7. Re:HUH? by spun · · Score: 1, Flamebait

      Actually, the 'latest pop culture trend' is thin girls who look like emaciated prepubescent boys. I myself prefer women who look like, well, women. I tend to think men who like women who look like little boys may be playing for the wrong team, if you know what I mean.

      --
      - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
    8. Re:HUH? by blair1q · · Score: 1

      Yeah, but not to your eyes.

    9. Re:HUH? by cayenne8 · · Score: 1

      That type of talk always brings to mind the moped/fat chick analogy.....

      --
      Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
    10. Re:HUH? by COMON$ · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I dont think the opinion of designers count when referring to those trends. Pop culture maybe but I and most of the male population are with you, Women need to look like women and act like a woman. Look around to the singe girls you know and the married girls you know. Given I am in the midwest but the boyish skinny girls are still single while the women are settled down in a happy marriage.

      --
      CS: It is all sink or swim...oh and did I mention there are sharks in that water?
    11. Re:HUH? by kaizokuace · · Score: 1

      when I photograph girls that are not so hot I use my beer lens filter. It is basically a disc you screw on to a lens and it is filled with beer between the pieces of glass. Does wonders.

      --
      Balderdash!
    12. Re:HUH? by jhfry · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Actually, some men will take an ugly woman over no woman.

      Of course most of this research was done with animals... that way no feelings were hurt when the men rated their partner as unattractive.

      --
      Sometimes the best solution is to stop wasting time looking for an easy solution.
    13. Re:HUH? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Meanwhile, some of us always found these people attractive. For example, even in her pre-crack-hoe days, Lindsay Lohan was still grossly unattractive to me.

    14. Re:HUH? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I don't see how you can draw that conclusion- because you're perceiving them as more attractive- not their "true" attractiveness.

    15. Re:HUH? by Anarchduke · · Score: 1

      Some men prefer ugly women. In fact, men do some surprising things when there aren't women available. Well, perhaps not so surprising if you have ever been in prison.

      --
      who prays for Satan? Who in 18 centuries has had the humanity to pray for the 1 sinner that needed it most? ~Mark Twain
    16. Re:HUH? by thePowerOfGrayskull · · Score: 1

      It's so fun when fellow slashdottians pretend like we can get girls if we only just wanted to.

    17. Re:HUH? by kamapuaa · · Score: 1

      There are no skinny girls in the Midwest. There are "slightly overweight" and "fat fucks."

      --
      Slashdot: providing anti-social weirdos a soapbox, since 1997.
    18. Re:HUH? by Hurricane78 · · Score: 1

      Look up the track "The Wrongstars -- Drink 'til She's Beautiful". I only has one paragraph of text in it, but that one describes it perfectly. And in a fitting Russian (think GTA4, but stronger) accent too:

      (Click for the audio sample.)

      She dansed, an she dansed,
      an I drrank, and I drrank,
      an den she was BEAUUUTIFUL!

      --
      Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.
  3. Too small a sample size. by Hogwash+McFly · · Score: 4, Funny

    I, for one, find their statistics sub-par and wish to volunteer my services for further study into the effect of having sex with attractive females on sperm behaviour.

    --
    Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?
    1. Re:Too small a sample size. by Kiaser+Zohsay · · Score: 5, Funny

      Unfortunately, it will probably be a double-blind study, so you've got a fifty-fifty shot at winding up in the control group.

      --
      I am not your blowing wind, I am the lightning.
    2. Re:Too small a sample size. by Arancaytar · · Score: 5, Funny

      This is Slashdot. You take what you can get.

    3. Re:Too small a sample size. by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 1

      Unfortunately, it will probably be a double-blind study, so you've got a fifty-fifty shot at winding up in the control group.

      But, in this case, if you're double-blind, who cares if you end up in the control group?

    4. Re:Too small a sample size. by Hogwash+McFly · · Score: 5, Funny

      *shrug* I don't mind. I've had enough of the placebo...

      --
      Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?
    5. Re:Too small a sample size. by Psyber_Netik · · Score: 0

      lolz... wtf

      --
      #find / -iname "*id10t*" -exec rm {} \;
    6. Re:Too small a sample size. by drcln · · Score: 1

      I, for one, find their statistics sub-par and wish to volunteer my services for further study into the effect of having sex with attractive females on sperm behaviour.

      Did you RTFA? You do realize that you would be conjugating with red junglefowl.

      Well, to each his own. Live and let live I say.

      --
      your gravity fails and negativity don't pull you through
    7. Re:Too small a sample size. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Which is still better than doing it on my own. My mother guarantees I'll go blind

    8. Re:Too small a sample size. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      *shrug* I don't mind. I've had enough of the placebo...

      McFly, this is your wife. I think we need to have a talk.

    9. Re:Too small a sample size. by DJ_Adequate · · Score: 1

      So, if you don't stop you'll go double blind?

      That's worse than I thought.

    10. Re:Too small a sample size. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This is Slashdot.

      I think that pretty much disqualifies all of us no? I mean if $this->find('anything') attractive, then...

    11. Re:Too small a sample size. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      They did the tests on red junglefowl. I am not sure you want to sign up !

  4. Thanks Captain Obvious... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

    In other news, men find sex more enjoyable with a woman who they find attractive instead of a "been-around-the-block-20-times, looks like the love child of Chewbacca and Worf, old battle-axe" woman.

    1. Re:Thanks Captain Obvious... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      Mmmm... Just to put a finer point on it, my preferences are (in order of importance):

      1. Healthy (no suprises, please)
      2. Enthusiastic/responsive
      3. Attractive
      4. Experienced

      If you have 1 through 3, then "been around the block 20 times" can be a VERY nice addition.

      -- Posting as AC so my wife won'tAAAAH!

    2. Re:Thanks Captain Obvious... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Don't listen to him Worf! You are beautiful...so...beautiful. *sigh*

    3. Re:Thanks Captain Obvious... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      5. Female

    4. Re:Thanks Captain Obvious... by nametaken · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Cute, but they didn't report that sex was "more enjoyable". They reported that "sperm travels faster".

      So maybe not so obvious, huh?

    5. Re:Thanks Captain Obvious... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      6. Human

    6. Re:Thanks Captain Obvious... by COMON$ · · Score: 1
      --
      CS: It is all sink or swim...oh and did I mention there are sharks in that water?
    7. Re:Thanks Captain Obvious... by Mystra_x64 · · Score: 1

      I thought current trend was elves.

      --
      Quick way to get 30% Funny 70% Troll: defend Opera browser on /.
    8. Re:Thanks Captain Obvious... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      How do you know my wife?

    9. Re:Thanks Captain Obvious... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The sperm travels faster because it has more fluid to propel itself in. Put a large fish in a tank with 1 inch of water at the bottom. The fish will not be able to move around very efficiently. As you increase the water in the tank, the fish will be faster.

      Now that you understand the reason why the sperm were faster, let me say this. The amount of fluid ejected during male orgasm (at least for me) is directly proportional to how enjoyable it is.

      Now go slow down someone else's sperm, chick!

    10. Re:Thanks Captain Obvious... by couchslug · · Score: 1

      "In other news, men find sex more enjoyable with a woman who they find attractive instead of a "been-around-the-block-20-times, looks like the love child of Chewbacca and Worf, old battle-axe" woman."

      The two types are not mutually exclusive.

      --
      "This post is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
    11. Re:Thanks Captain Obvious... by prozaker · · Score: 1

      many just got their ears trimmed

    12. Re:Thanks Captain Obvious... by Dhalka226 · · Score: 1

      The amount of fluid ejected during male orgasm (at least for me) is directly proportional to how enjoyable it is.

      Got a reference? Otherwise we're just going to assume you're pulling things out of your ass. And then speculate as to what those things are, I'd imagine.

    13. Re:Thanks Captain Obvious... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      yeah, my reference is between the ()...guess you missed that...wonder what causes eyesight deficiency...

    14. Re:Thanks Captain Obvious... by g8oz · · Score: 1

      7. Alive

  5. For animals yes,,, but... by blahplusplus · · Score: 5, Insightful

    ... I can see a problem with this study if applying it's conclusions to people. I imagine the amount of sperm has to do more with being extremely turned on and not just attractiveness, you can be with a beautiful girl and not be that turned on because you don't get along that well, and you can be with an average girl who you connect with on a fundamental level that turns you on way more then the prettier girl.

    1. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      also, don't forget about anal

    2. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Andy+Dodd · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Attraction isn't just physical... "turned on" = attracted

      --
      retrorocket.o not found, launch anyway?
    3. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by GPLDAN · · Score: 2, Insightful

      This is knows as the Hottie-Frigid paradox. The most scorching hot women are nearly certain to be lousy in bed.

    4. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Chris+Burke · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Seems like the same conclusion to me, if you simply expand the definition of "attractive" for human males to mean more than superficial physical features; shouldn't "sexually attractive" essentially be a synonym for "sexually arousing"? The question would always be "what does the male find attractive in females?" and while for red junglefowl this may be a simple and largely empirical matter, for humans it obviously isn't. For the human version of the study, you'd probably just have to ask the man his opinion to find the correlation, though if humans have this ability then I would expect that you would see it correlate with "sexual attractiveness" as you surmise, and not "physical beauty" which isn't necessarily the same thing.

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    5. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Zakabog · · Score: 4, Funny

      This is knows as the Hottie-Frigid paradox. The most scorching hot women are nearly certain to be lousy in bed.

      Spoken like someone who has given up all hope of having sex with an extremely attractive woman. Unless she's bored, or really new to sex, it's highly unlikely that she'll be any worse at it than any other girl.

    6. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Chris+Burke · · Score: 1

      Attraction isn't just physical... "turned on" = attracted

      LOL. Exactly my point, with equal insight, but in 7 words. Hat's off. :)

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    7. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting

      Maybe I was smoking something before that one class but I clearly remember humans being classified in the animal kingdom.

      At least I can't punch a hole in this definition to think otherwise....

      "any member of the kingdom Animalia, comprising multicellular organisms that have a well-defined shape and usually limited growth, can move voluntarily, actively acquire food and digest it internally, and have sensory and nervous systems that allow them to respond rapidly to stimuli: some classification schemes also include protozoa and certain other single-celled eukaryotes that have motility and animal like nutrition modes"

    8. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by blahplusplus · · Score: 1

      "Seems like the same conclusion to me"

      But the idea for evolution is that prettier women/animals are "more fit", and I doubt the definition of attractiveness in the study has much depth beyond very superficial characteristics and behavioural judgements (within a range of normalcy).

    9. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Who says that only humans experience more than physical beauty or anything for that matter.

      Animals have deeper relationships than that (maybe not the little ground hogs i saw in a group orgy at the zoo once) but I know many animals use sounds, feeling, and can distigishly clearly one individual from another by memory/experiences and more than just how they visually precieve them.

      What's the difference? Just because you can understand a human trying to describe an emotion doesn't mean they are special.

    10. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Bigby · · Score: 2, Insightful

      The GP assumed attraction = physical attraction. The parent said attraction = all attractions, including psychological attraction. The parent is in agreement with the article while the GP is not. All is based off the definition of "attraction".

    11. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Maxo-Texas · · Score: 5, Insightful

      That's because scorching hot females who like sex move to places like hollywood or palm beach or even go into business in some way (even if it is only as a vegas show girl). And if you happen to hook up with them, they are likely to sleep around on you ( and not just women- attractive men also sleep around a lot ). Hot women have different expectations of life-- just like people who are born and grow up rich.

      They also have pretty severe defense mechanisms having been hit on and flattered since they were 13 by everyone. Meanwhile, the more normal females who didn't get as much flattery are still open to it. In a way, being pretty sucks because they have trouble accepting compliments.

      Never got that lucky (or unlucky?) until I was in my late 30's. And then I hooked up with a hotty who later turned out to have been a stripper back in her 20s and tho it was incredibly fun for 10 years, it ended as horrifically as you can imagine (maybe more so). Before then, I'd have a decently average hot high school sweetheart (so I missed the whole bar scene/college party scene) and then a nicely hot dancing lady who was really sweet but had terminal religious problems with me (I'm not religious-- sometimes it would be easier if I was).

      --
      She was like chocolate when she drank... semi-sweet at first and then increasingly bitter.
    12. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Ehhh I wouldn't totally dismiss the statement, being a slashdot reader I'm certainly not speaking from experience or anything but I've had friends speak of such things.

      It seems the pretty ones are used to all the work being done for them all the time while the other girls well they're willing to put their back into it (so to speak).

      Besides why's everyone in a rush all the time!!!!

    13. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by evilkasper · · Score: 1

      ... At least thats what we like to believe, since the most scorching hot women will never let us test this theory.

    14. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by the_B0fh · · Score: 1

      What, you didn't pray at her altar enough? :P

    15. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by blahplusplus · · Score: 1

      Also... one can be turned on just as much by other things (porn) and it doesn't necessarily have to be an attractive female, just something that really turns you on.

    16. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by swb · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Spoken like someone who's never had a shitty lay from a hot girl...

      I think there's some folk wisdom beyond the obvious "sour grapes" rationalization. In my experience, many attractive women have a tendency towards narcissism, egomania and a sense of entitlement. *If* she deems you worthy enough to fuck you, that decision is about all the effort she'll put into the entire experience -- you're just supposed to be some grateful and in awe you won't need her to suck your dick or otherwise engage.

      Look at the Paris Hilton sex tape -- in many scenes, she's entirely vacant and almost passive while Solomon hammers away with a pretty decent bit of equipment. She's more obsessed with her own appearance, like she's posing.

      Now, are all attractive women head cases? No, and the ones that are I'm usually willing to believe are victims of a society that REWARDS superficial beauty and encourages the narcissism, and aren't pathologically evil. And in some cases, sex with a hot girl does have its own internal narcissistic reward that colors the sex and makes it "better". But I think there's enough to link beauty and psychology to make it a phenomenon that can be found out there.

      Surprisingly less common is the idea that plain/ugly girls are great lays. The logic being that they have to be better lays because they can't coast on their looks. Probably also nominally true, but probably less so since many less attractive people are more socially withdrawn and less unlikely to be available, plus the demotivating factor of bad looks may be stronger than the motivating factor of good looks.

    17. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by interkin3tic · · Score: 1

      I'm also not sure that this is easily applicable to people. The blurb mentions that female comb and her fertility are strongly correlated in several ways

      female attractiveness is determined by the expression of a sexual ornament -- the comb -- which is phenotypically and genetically correlated to the number and mass of eggs females lay

      Is there a similar correlation for human females? I've never heard such a stat, seems like it would be much more complicated (quantifying attractiveness, factoring in health, contraceptives... normal "humans are more difficult to study" stuff), and the article didn't mention it.

      I considered a google search, but decided the results might not be work appropriate, and my boss is milling around...

      That egg mass also is correlated to combs to me suggests there's more at work here than the mechanism they describe. The real paper may have done this, but I'd expect a control group of females who had great combs which were surgically removed. If the hot combs are making the males fire... uh... both barrels because they're so turned on, then sperm should be slower, wheras if its something like the same genes that make nice combs also, say, make a female more fertile, or make her reproductive tract more stimulatory to sperm, then cutting off the comb wouldn't change that.

      Anyone know where the real article is?

    18. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by atraintocry · · Score: 5, Funny

      she's entirely vacant

      In her defense, she appears that way in her movie and TV work as well.

    19. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by CAIMLAS · · Score: 1

      The results of this study are somewhat disturbing. For instance: how did they determine the attractiveness of non-human females?

      --
      ~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
    20. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by CAIMLAS · · Score: 1

      Eh... hot women that are easy to bed are more likely to be sluts, regardless of how good you are at 'acquiring' them. From a completely non-scientific assessment of people I know, the hot, slutty girls are (unless they're obviously kinky out of bed) tend to just lay there like slugs and let you do the work. Sure, it "does the job" but it's kinda discouraging and unexciting.

      --
      ~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
    21. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by kaizokuace · · Score: 1

      nobody likes to fuck a dead fish... (queue dead fish fuckers, I know you are out here on /.!)

      --
      Balderdash!
    22. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by bitt3n · · Score: 2, Funny

      This is knows as the Hottie-Frigid paradox. The most scorching hot women are nearly certain to be lousy in bed.

      every girl I've had in my bed has been lousy, but to be fair, most of the louses were there to begin with

    23. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by bitt3n · · Score: 1

      unless she's bored, or really new to sex

      apparently you're unfamiliar with the miracles of rohypnol

    24. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Huh?

    25. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Razalhague · · Score: 2, Funny

      dead fish fuckers

      That's necroikthyophiles, you insensitive clod!

    26. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by cayenne8 · · Score: 1
      "...you can be with a beautiful girl and not be that turned on because you don't get along that well..."

      What? You actually talk/listen to them??

      Wow..that's a new one. I figure if I'm fuckin' them...I'm getting along with them.

      :)

      --
      Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
    27. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by The+Yuckinator · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Surprisingly less common is the idea that plain/ugly girls are great lays. The logic being that they have to be better lays because they can't coast on their looks. Probably also nominally true, but probably less so since many less attractive people are more socially withdrawn and less unlikely to be available, plus the demotivating factor of bad looks may be stronger than the motivating factor of good looks.

      Lewis: "Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex."

    28. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "The GP assumed attraction = physical attraction. The parent said attraction = all attractions, including psychological attraction. The parent is in agreement with the article while the GP is not. All is based off the definition of "attraction"."

      This is insightful? Seems kinda redundant since it's just explaining what was already said - which only takes fairly minor reading comprehension to grok.
      --

    29. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by cayenne8 · · Score: 1
      "They also have pretty severe defense mechanisms having been hit on and flattered since they were 13 by everyone. Meanwhile, the more normal females who didn't get as much flattery are still open to it. In a way, being pretty sucks because they have trouble accepting compliments."

      But that's part of what you have to cut through with a hot chick. You have to get THEM interested in you, by talking to them, slightly ignore them at times, give little digs at them or their looks (backhanded compliments and such). Quite often this works, and they're not used to it. They are used to guys fawning all over them, and when you do this type of thing, it can weird them out a little, and make them want you...etc.

      Strange and hard to explain totally, but, I've seen it work really. In some ways, it works on most women. For some reason, maybe it is genetic, most women seem to have almost a masochistic streak in them....we all observe this when we see women out there that are actually physically abused by their men, and yet go back to them.

      A subtler version of this as I tried to describe above often works, especially on VERY hot women.

      --
      Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
    30. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Chris+Burke · · Score: 1

      The parent said attraction = all attractions, including psychological attraction. The parent is in agreement with the article while the GP is not.

      Yes, which is exactly what I said in a response to the "GP", only with a lot more verbiage, which amuses me. Did you think I was saying the post I replied to was redundant with the post they replied to? I'm not the OP in this thread.

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    31. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What the fuck is a shitty lay?

    32. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Zerth · · Score: 1

      Alternatively, the hot ones don't get that much action because few people try, on assumption they are taken or one has no chance, so they only get with arrogant narcissists who are lousy teachers.

      The not-as hot ones get lots more sex from people who actually try.

    33. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Chris+Burke · · Score: 1

      But the idea for evolution is that prettier women/animals are "more fit",

      Only if that makes them more attractive to the opposite sex and thus more likely to mate and reproduce. When the selection criterion is more complicated than that, then the evolutionary pressure is also.

      I doubt the definition of attractiveness in the study has much depth beyond very superficial characteristics

      Yes, because the study was done on red junglefowl, who use a superficial characteristic for judging potential mates.

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    34. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Chris+Burke · · Score: 1

      Who says that only humans experience more than physical beauty or anything for that matter.

      Nobody. Not me, anyway.

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    35. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Maxo-Texas · · Score: 1

      Yes, I know about NLP and neg hits.

      I'm a 6'5" ultimate frisbe playing, two to four times a week gym workouting, college educated, successful professional who was also a licensed massage therapist for a decade.

      But... down at heart, I'm still a DnD playing, Boardgame paying, Science Fiction reading nerd.

      I would find a full time relationship with a non-gaming hotty to be stifling.

      --
      She was like chocolate when she drank... semi-sweet at first and then increasingly bitter.
    36. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      In her defense, she appears that way in her movie and TV work as well.

      She doesn't just appear that way she is that way.

    37. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by DigiShaman · · Score: 1

      A "shitty lay" is one where your partner provides little to no effort in the sexual experience.

      My ex-gf (late 1990s) basically acted like a blowup doll that just so happened to have a temperature of 98.6 ÂF. Ya, that bad.

      --
      Life is not for the lazy.
    38. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Alexandra+Erenhart · · Score: 2

      And this is not only true for attractive females, but for attractive males as well. I, for one, prefer to have hot sex with the average joe than pretending to feel "in awe" cause I scored with a hot guy. Hell yes.

    39. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Spoken like someone whose only sexual interaction with a hot girl was some sort of pathetic mercy fuck.

      I'd say hot and not so hot girls are, on average, equally good in bed. In fact, I'd say there's little difference between women in this dimension. There are horny chicks (OK, occasionally hideously bad technique can spoil things) and not horny chicks. If you're an attractive dude and you know how to push the right buttons, you can bring out the wild side (=> good sex) in even the most frigid seeming girl.

      If you aren't very attractive to women, it may be that the ugly girls you have sex with are totally into you (hence good sex) while you are near the rejection threshold for a sexier lady (half-hearted sex).

      In fact, now that I think about it, hot girls are probably better. They tend to be less inhibited. Less attractive girls are more likely to have had bad experiences. They sleep with a couple guys who are out of their league, who treat them bad, or indifferently (like inanimate jizz receptacles), and they come to associate sex with degradation and rejection. Then they become prudish in self defense.

      Just an alternative view I guess.

      Surprisingly less common is the idea that plain/ugly girls are great lays.

      Haven't you heard the old joke:

      Q: Why do fat chicks give good blowjobs?
      A: Because they have to.

    40. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by DigiShaman · · Score: 1

      For some reason, maybe it is genetic, most women seem to have almost a masochistic streak in them....we all observe this when we see women out there that are actually physically abused by their men, and yet go back to them.

      I'm sure it's genetic, but not for the reasons you think IMHO. In all my years of observation, I found that what women *really want* above anything else in a man is confidence. It just so happens finding a man that exudes confidence in a detrimental fashion (abusive b/f, the usual wife beater...etc) often comes across as more potent than a man that exudes confidence in a positive life supportive manor. The key here to exuding confidence, is to first be confident in yourself and whatever unknowns life throws your way. Everything else with regards to finding a loyal mate falls into place naturally there after.

      If you ask me, I think this behavior goes back toward our primate heritage. While women hate men that are abusive, they can at least be counted on for physical protection from other predators. Basically, it's the devil that you know vs the one you don't.

      --
      Life is not for the lazy.
    41. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      nobody likes to fuck a dead fish... (queue dead fish fuckers, I know you are out here on /.!)

      *Dead* fish? Possibly not, but supposedly "maguro" (tuna) is a good thing for a Japanese girl to be in bed. Apparently it's a good thing for a Japanese girl to be almost totally passive during sex- doesn't appeal to me personally, but whatever.

    42. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by MaskedSlacker · · Score: 1

      One where even the guy doesn't get off.

    43. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That's because scorching hot females who like sex move to places like hollywood or palm beach or even go into business in some way (even if it is only as a vegas show girl).

      I don't deny that there are plenty of women that aren't that into sex, but I have met lots of scorching hot females who love sex that aren't in "the business". They are teachers and moms and everything else that life throws at them. Some are full-swap, some are soft-swap, and some are bi (look up the terms if you need help) - but they have one thing in common... they love sex. If you have any doubt, go visit Iniquity in Dallas (sorry, the one in Houston closed).

      And if you happen to hook up with them, they are likely to sleep around on you ( and not just women- attractive men also sleep around a lot ). Hot women have different expectations of life--

      As always, some do, but many do not. And if you are involved at the same time and place that she is, is it really cheating?

    44. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by ShakaUVM · · Score: 1

      Speaking as a 6'6" martial artist, college educated, etc., dude, who plays D&D and boardgames whenever given a chance, the trick is to find a hottie who has creativity. Some women (well, people in general) lack any sort of creative bone in their body, and... they're boring. If they have intelligence and creativity, they can get into RPGs and games. Non-creative types... can't.

      But then again, I met my wife at a ballroom dance club, and one of the first things she asked me was if I read Robert Jordan.

      SOLD.

    45. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Look at the Paris Hilton sex tape -- in many scenes, she's entirely vacant and almost passive while Solomon hammers away with a pretty decent bit of equipment. She's more obsessed with her own appearance, like she's posing.

      I don't think that's a good example though. She probably behaves differently when she knows she's on camera.

    46. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Interesting

      My brother went for the hottie. They got married, had a couple kids, but her tastes had him working himself to death. That was fine with her because it gave her time to fuck around on him. I haven't told anyone but my wife (who agrees), but I don't actually think his youngest kid is his (and actually, I think he has his doubts, and I strongly suspect my parents do, but he's a great kid so I think we've all just decided that he needs a family so we'll just go along with it). By both my brother and sister-in-law's accounts, though, the sex was great. It ought to be, because I'm pretty sure she was a professional when she was younger (she ran away from home--she is crazy).

      I went for the cutie. She thinks I'm better looking than her; I think she's better looking than me; we're both happy. Sex is not so great though (why I'm posting AC!). But, seriously? I'm happy and we have fun all the time and I know I can trust her absolutely. She would never bleed me dry and fuck my boss. I'm not 19 anymore; sex is an aside. It's not as important as being happy and having someone to rely on and laugh with.

      So what am I saying? I'm saying that pretty girls often have major issues, for all the reasons you've mentioned. I have a friend who is jaw-droppingly gorgeous. We get along famously (officemates), but guys sometimes ask how I can stand being around her when she's so cold and bitchy. And she was certainly like that with me at first. Now that I know her a lot better, I think that the only way she has been able to remain a kind and normal person was to keep that wall up and deflect the male attention. If you get past that wall, she's a really warm, fun person. She's actually a good example of someone developing a strategy to get around the shit that pretty girls (especially, I think) have to deal with. Her fiancee is a rock-solid, nice guy, but not much of a looker. She's made that choice, though: Despite her amazing looks, she's going to go for real companionship and family. For her, though, it comes at the price of acquaintances' opinions of her.

      I'm glad I'm not a pretty woman. It looks like a hard row to hoe.

    47. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm sorry your sexual encounter with a hot girl was shitty. I'm even sorrier that you thought Paris Hilton would be a good of example of a "hot girl". Sperm doesn't travel slowly towards Paris Hilton because she's not attractive, it travels slowly because it knows better...

    48. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If you ask me, I think this behavior goes back toward our primate heritage. While women hate men that are abusive, they can at least be counted on for physical protection from other predators.

      It's far uglier and more primal than that.

      As in many species, the typical human female will not submit to the typical human male unless he can overpower her. Basically, for much of our species' history, mating was pretty close to what we, today, would consider raping.

      This is reflected in our very physiology: It's why women tend to be shorter, lighter, and weaker than men. This was essentially bred into us: Those women were more likely to reproduce because there were more men likely to be able to impregnate them. (It's a balancing act, though. She doesn't want to be so short/light/weak that below-average men can impregnate her.)

      You even see this reflected today. In the vast majority of couples, the man is taller than the woman. The man also tends to earn more than the woman, hold more importance, be better-looking, etc. Marriages tend to get into trouble when that situation reverses for too long.

      In fact, one would be well-justified in viewing the traditional sexism in the workplace as men fighting to keep the pool of women available to them as large as possible.

      It can go both ways, though. Many women claim to not want to work out with heavy weights, for instance, because they're afraid they'll get too muscle-y. This tends to be an instinctual turn-off for men because stronger women are more difficult to overpower. From the woman's perspective, it also reduces the number of men she'll instinctively find attractive (i.e., be willing to submit to).

      (Yes, I too know of couples where the woman is taller, earns more, or whatever. Those are outliers, though. Humans CAN overcome their instincts. However, in mating, most of them do not do so.)

    49. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Arthur+Grumbine · · Score: 1

      I, for one, prefer to have hot sex with the average joe...

      I'm willing to test that claim...

      --
      Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure everything I just said is completely wrong.
    50. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Fred_A · · Score: 1

      I'm also not sure that this is easily applicable to people. The blurb mentions that female comb and her fertility are strongly correlated in several ways

      female attractiveness is determined by the expression of a sexual ornament -- the comb -- which is phenotypically and genetically correlated to the number and mass of eggs females lay

      Is there a similar correlation for human females?

      Most human females have combs and quite a few of them wear some as ornaments. On the other hand, they still normally only lay one egg at a time. So maybe another criteria should be use to correlate the quality of the comb and the reproductive prowess of the female.

      As usual, it all gets complicated with humans.

      --

      May contain traces of nut.
      Made from the freshest electrons.
    51. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by Fred_A · · Score: 1

      The results of this study are somewhat disturbing. For instance: how did they determine the attractiveness of non-human females?

      It takes all kinds. Live and let live that's my motto.
      I'm glad that people with an exotic kink could find a useful job. In this economy it's no mean feat.

      --

      May contain traces of nut.
      Made from the freshest electrons.
    52. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by ClosedSource · · Score: 1

      Sorry, but she didn't say she preferred to have hot sex with the average Arthur.

    53. Re:For animals yes,,, but... by AnonymityCowardily · · Score: 1

      I've heard from gay guys that the really hot and muscular ones are as boring as hell in bed too. They are too enamoured with their own bits to bother about other people's :p

  6. Speed vs inner beauty by indre1 · · Score: 1

    Does the speed vary depending on inner beauty too?

    1. Re:Speed vs inner beauty by sopssa · · Score: 5, Funny

      You would think so, considering thats only what the sperm sees.

    2. Re:Speed vs inner beauty by Zakabog · · Score: 1

      I think that depends on whether or not the person truly feels a girls inner beauty adds to her attractiveness. Since a persons attractiveness is based on the observer then it's very well possible that someone could find a girl attractive based on personality, in which case the speed would depend on "inner beauty."

  7. lol by syrinx · · Score: 5, Funny

    The best part of this article is the tag "!newsfornerds".

    --
    Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.
    1. Re:lol by eldavojohn · · Score: 1

      The best part of this article is the tag "!newsfornerds".

      Didn't have time to read the article but I think the best part is the image they selected; I like where The Eclipse Foundation has gone with its logo. Are those white snake-like things supposed to be languages flocking to the Eclipse logo? If so, very inclusive.

      --
      My work here is dung.
    2. Re:lol by Bigby · · Score: 1

      I was more boggled by the representation of the action in 2 dimensions...like an egg isn't spherical.

    3. Re:lol by Doug52392 · · Score: 1

      Well, this IS useless information in my book.

    4. Re:lol by steelfood · · Score: 1

      Yes, I have experienced this numerous times in the past, so it certainly is not news.

      --
      "If a nation expects to be ignorant and free in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be."
  8. hmmz by santax · · Score: 1

    Interesting, allthough I'm pretty sure that Santax's balls do not make that difference.

  9. nature does its best by salesbot · · Score: 1

    nature does its best to let you make beer-goggle copulation decisions

  10. How do they know? by DesScorp · · Score: 3, Funny

    How does a sperm "know" if a female is attractive? Or are we talking about money shots from porn films here?

    --
    Life is hard, and the world is cruel
    1. Re:How do they know? by gstoddart · · Score: 5, Informative

      How does a sperm "know" if a female is attractive? Or are we talking about money shots from porn films here?

      Despite the misleading headline, they say that males seem to be able to adjust -- most likely related to level of hormones or arousal.

      Nobody is suggesting the sperm "know" anything, merely that the human glandular system is complex, and this is another example. :-P

      Cheers

      --
      Lost at C:>. Found at C.
    2. Re:How do they know? by gstoddart · · Score: 4, Informative

      Nobody is suggesting the sperm "know" anything, merely that the human glandular system is complex, and this is another example. :-P

      Or, more accurately in this case, red junglefowl. :-P

      Cheers

      --
      Lost at C:>. Found at C.
    3. Re:How do they know? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      Please do not end a conversation about sperm and human glands with the word "Cheers!"
      That is all.

    4. Re:How do they know? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What don't you talk to your sperm? Show them a picture of the girl they are dieing for?

    5. Re:How do they know? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Please do not end a conversation about sperm and human glands with the phrase "That is all!"

      It is perilously close to "is that all?"

  11. HE SHOOTS! by Philip+K+Dickhead · · Score: 5, Funny

    HE SCORES!

    Or vice versa, if I read the article correctly...

    --
    "Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act." -- George Orwell
    1. Re:HE SHOOTS! by lewko · · Score: 1

      .....And boom goes the dynamite.

      --
      Do you or your partner snore? - Visit www.snoring.com.au
  12. Fertility by Royanon · · Score: 4, Interesting

    This article was pretty interesting; for example the possible link between this and fertility rates. If there is indeed a link, it's going to come as a slap to the face for some couples having trouble. I also found it pretty interesting that sperm quality can be improved by daily masturbation.

    --
    "My crime is that of curiosity."
    1. Re:Fertility by DinDaddy · · Score: 5, Funny

      I also found it pretty interesting that sperm quality can be improved by daily masturbation.

      Why? Everything is improved by daily masturbation.

    2. Re:Fertility by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Well not everything. I've been masturbating for 15 years and my penis is still 10 centimeters.

    3. Re:Fertility by Gabrill · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      Except your relationship with your mother-in-law . . . never get caught!

      --
      Always going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse.
    4. Re:Fertility by Psyber_Netik · · Score: 0

      Sounds like you speak from experience...

      --
      #find / -iname "*id10t*" -exec rm {} \;
    5. Re:Fertility by COMON$ · · Score: 1

      Being one of the people who is having trouble with fertility, I don't find it insulting. Rather I find it interesting that the fertility experts that I talk to and pay good money all say that holding out for 3 days beforehand increase fertility...

      --
      CS: It is all sink or swim...oh and did I mention there are sharks in that water?
    6. Re:Fertility by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      people modded this funny, but I found that during highschool getting rid of my morning wood the fun way was a much better way to start the day than otherwise.

    7. Re:Fertility by Kelz · · Score: 1

      Holding out for 3 days increases volume on a one-time basis, but pawing off daily leads to a more active libido and therefore more sperm generation during those 3 days of holding out.

    8. Re:Fertility by NoPantsJim · · Score: 1

      I dunno about that, my credit card has taken a hit.

    9. Re:Fertility by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Daily masturbation could have kept Vince Offer (ShamWOW) out of jail!

    10. Re:Fertility by Arthur+Grumbine · · Score: 1

      You're admitting to buying porn... on /. !? Please turn in your geek card at the door. Thank you for stopping by.

      --
      Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure everything I just said is completely wrong.
    11. Re:Fertility by PiSkyHi · · Score: 1

      ... except the resale value of computer hardware.

    12. Re:Fertility by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That's still too short, dick!

    13. Re:Fertility by soundguy4film · · Score: 1

      Absolutely! Fertility and ed too. At 25 I have always been told not to listen to my dick as it would get me in trouble. Two years ago I found that was just what mothers and girlfriends tell you so you won't chase a hotter chick. I dated a slightly tubby girl who was a stupid rich and self centered fashion designer. The only time in my life I have not been able to get it up was for this chick and then she cheated on me and dumped me before I found out, good riddance! But the point is my dick knew not only that she was not very hot but that she was completely wrong for me. In case anyone wants to rag on me I have had sex with 3 girls since then and been dating the last one for more than a year and I have never had a problem getting it up, so it was the girls fault not mine. Hot chicks definitely get more sperm faster! It should be measured through the pull out method, eg how far does it go when you pull out... Below the belly button not hot, breasts pretty hot face gorgeous and the wall behind her supermodel.

  13. This is bad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Combined with this research, which shows that ugly men release more sperm, the chance of conception appears to be highest when a stunningly attractive woman sleeps with an truly ugly man. Somebody please think of the children.

    1. Re:This is bad by SpasticWeasel · · Score: 1

      Ah yes, the well known William Joel effect.

      --
      No sooner do I get over one, then you put a better one right next to me. Bastards.
    2. Re:This is bad by greywire · · Score: 1

      That would explain why I have three kids then, I guess.

      Interestingly, I've noticed, with mine and other similarly mismatched couples (that is, ugly dude and attractive mom), the kids usually come out really cute. Of course, thats just useless anecdotal evidence, but still...

      --
      -- Senior Software Engineer, Attorney appearance services, locallawyerapp.com.
    3. Re:This is bad by SaDan · · Score: 5, Funny

      Hrm... I have cute kids, and my wife is pretty decent on the eyes as well.

      Shit. I'm the ugly one. :-(

    4. Re:This is bad by Basilius · · Score: 1

      Combined with this research, which shows that ugly men release more sperm, the chance of conception appears to be highest when a stunningly attractive woman sleeps with an truly ugly man. Somebody please think of the children.

      Or, given the odds of that, we may just need to think of the child.

      We've already had Christine Brinkley/Billy Joel.

      Odds of another truly ugly man overchicking that much? Very small.

    5. Re:This is bad by COMON$ · · Score: 1

      I didn't read the article you linked. However it makes sense as an ugly person would need a higher fertility rate to increase the rate of procreation. A more attractive person wouldn't have to have this high fertility rate as they would have sex more often. Of course my wife and I are relatively attractive people by society's standards maybe that is why we are having fertility trouble...it is evolution's fault!

      --
      CS: It is all sink or swim...oh and did I mention there are sharks in that water?
    6. Re:This is bad by aaarrrgggh · · Score: 1

      C'mon, this is slashdot... think of the nerds!

    7. Re:This is bad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This is also known as the Billy Joel paradox. (See daughter Alexa by former wife Christie Brinkley.)

    8. Re:This is bad by Shemmie · · Score: 1

      Combined with this research, which shows that ugly men release more sperm, the chance of conception appears to be highest when a stunningly attractive woman sleeps with an truly ugly man.

      THANK YOU GOD!!

    9. Re:This is bad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Dude, you have a weird fetish. I don't think of the children when sperm and stunningly attractive women are around!

    10. Re:This is bad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      So how does thinking of children change sperm count?

    11. Re:This is bad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Charlotte Gainsbourg
      Liv Tyler
      I could go on.

    12. Re:This is bad by Xyrus · · Score: 1

      If your wife's pet name for you isn't "Quasimodo", then you shouldn't worry too much.

      ~X~

      --
      ~X~
  14. From the department of duh? by girlintraining · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Yeah, and? It's also been established that other male mammals, including humans, can reply with something call semen displacement (circumsized males need not apply, some restrictions may apply, see mate for full rules and details) Women aren't without their biological defenses either; Concealing ovulation, various vaginal defenses, such as lack of secretions leading to a lower likelihood of fertility, etc., etc.

    But really people, is it so freaking hard to just take us out to dinner, kiss our neck afterwords in an intimate and quiet environment, and actually DO the foreplay (and for those in longer-term relationships, not have it become formulaic?) Because if the sex sucks, it isn't going to matter how much scientific knowledge you have about the mating process -- it doesn't change the fact that it will still end in tears for you! *mutters* They can tell me down to the molecular level how conception works, but they can't even get the damn condom out of the wrapper and a bra off without completely ruining it...

    --
    #fuckbeta #iamslashdot #dicemustdie
    1. Re:From the department of duh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      > Because if the sex sucks, it isn't going to matter how much scientific knowledge you have about the mating process -- it doesn't change the fact that it will still end in tears for you!

      I think you are under the misconception (ha. ha.) that 'we' think the knowledge in this article is going to improve our nonexistent sex lives. First of all, nobody is going to read the article. Secondly, those who read it anyway will do so because they like to know useless obscure stuff.

    2. Re:From the department of duh? by gnick · · Score: 4, Informative

      But really people, is it so freaking hard to just take us out to dinner, kiss our neck afterwords in an intimate and quiet environment, and actually DO the foreplay (and for those in longer-term relationships, not have it become formulaic?)

      That goes both ways (especially if you're talking about a long term relationship). We guys accept the duty of keeping things interesting, but chicks have to play too if things are going to keep going well after a decade into the relationship. But I agree - Mood >> biological process. There is very little less sexy to a guy than a chick that just wants to score a baby. Ugh - I'd rather fly solo, thanks.

      ...They can tell me down to the molecular level how conception works, but they can't even get the damn condom out of the wrapper and a bra off without completely ruining it...

      Again, it all comes down to mood. I find the best way to remove a bra is to make sure that things are moving smoothly and then say, "Lose the bra". Beats even the 1-handed Fonzie-level-cool maneuver and, assuming that the environment is right, can actually warm things up. (Of course, that is not always appropriate and a guy should be prepared to adjust.)

      On topic, though, I can personally testify that a guy who is thoroughly turned on and has been for a while will, um, launch much more thoroughly and with more velocity than somebody who's just going through the motions.

      Wow - WTF is this discussion doing on slashdot?!?

      --
      He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.
    3. Re:From the department of duh? by NewbieProgrammerMan · · Score: 4, Insightful

      But really people, is it so freaking hard to just take us out to dinner, kiss our neck afterwords in an intimate and quiet environment, and actually DO the foreplay (and for those in longer-term relationships, not have it become formulaic?)

      Apparently it's really freaking hard for most guys, based on the difficulty many women seem to have in finding guys that meet those criteria. That said, it's apparently also really freaking hard for many women to show the same level of respect for men's similarly simple expectations.

      --
      [b.belong('us') for b in bases if b.owner() == 'you']
    4. Re:From the department of duh? by girlintraining · · Score: 1, Insightful

      We guys accept the duty of keeping things interesting

      And that's half the problem. It's not supposed to be a duty, it's supposed to be something you do because you care about the other person.

      There is very little less sexy to a guy than a chick that just wants to score a baby.

      Most of my female friends would have less endearing things to say about that behavior.

      I find the best way to remove a bra is to make sure that things are moving smoothly and then say, "Lose the bra". Beats even the 1-handed Fonzie-level-cool maneuver and, assuming that the environment is right, can actually warm things up.

      Here's a girl tip: You can learn to take one off (and put one on, although the mental imagery here is frightening) by just going to the store, buying one, and then trying to clip/unclip it around your knee while sitting on the floor or bed. Bend your knee at about a 45 degree angle, and practice that way. You think it's easy for us? Please. And that Fonzie-level-cool maneuver -- my girlfriend can do that (even through clothes) and it's a nice treat. I still have to take hers off with both hands. *grumbles*

       

      --
      #fuckbeta #iamslashdot #dicemustdie
    5. Re:From the department of duh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      Wow - WTF is this discussion doing on slashdot?!?

      Making really interesting reading for your potential future employers.

    6. Re:From the department of duh? by mcgrew · · Score: 1

      But really people, is it so freaking hard to just take us out to dinner, kiss our neck afterwords in an intimate and quiet environment, and actually DO the foreplay (and for those in longer-term relationships, not have it become formulaic?)

      Not hard for me. The hard part is when you ask her out to dinner and she laughs at you. Some women are incredibly cruel.

      but they can't even get the damn condom out of the wrapper and a bra off without completely ruining it...

      I'm certain that bras are designed by either gay men, or mysandrists. Don't know why anyone would have trouble with a condom wrapper, but a condom is kind of offtopic here, isn't it?

    7. Re:From the department of duh? by bitt3n · · Score: 3, Funny

      I find the best way to remove a bra is to make sure that things are moving smoothly and then say, "Lose the bra".

      I prefer to use that as a pickup line. To each his own I guess.

    8. Re:From the department of duh? by girlintraining · · Score: 2

      Apparently it's really freaking hard for most guys, based on the difficulty many women seem to have in finding guys that meet those criteria.

      I have difficulty finding my car keys in the morning. That says something about me, not the car keys. Last week I found them in the fridge, next to the butter. I guess my point here is that if you can't find something, that doesn't mean it's hiding from you or rare, it might just mean you're looking in the wrong place.

      it's apparently also really freaking hard for many women to show the same level of respect for men's similarly simple expectations.

      They aren't similarly simple. And don't use the "R" word -- it just leads to arguments. We have to live up to the "simple expectation" that we be beautiful and our bodies young, supple, well-rounded, etc. Do men? No. You'll never have to deal with going swimsuit shopping -- it ranks right up there with "Giving a public speech in front of the whole company" on most women's list of fears. Now I'm not trying to get you to grow a third eye here and suddenly understand the fairer sex here; I don't have to deal with wearing the same wardrobe my entire career, being expected to have a nice car, good job, and a high tolerance for alcohol. I'm just saying -- take a closer look at some of these expectations, and to pay close attention to how you're phrasing things, instead of just repeating them and moving on. Breaking out of that internal monologue of acting-reacting and trying to see things from other perspectives is a hard skill to develop but it'll serve you well in many areas of your life... especially when it comes to dealing with women.

      --
      #fuckbeta #iamslashdot #dicemustdie
    9. Re:From the department of duh? by Isaac-1 · · Score: 1

      If your using a condom, I think your missing something about improving chances of conception.

    10. Re:From the department of duh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And that Fonzie-level-cool maneuver -- my girlfriend can do that (even through clothes) and it's a nice treat. I still have to take hers off with both hands. *grumbles*

      [Shatner]Got to... think! Must... resist... posting... the innuendos... these words... inspire![/Shatner]

    11. Re:From the department of duh? by gnick · · Score: 2, Funny

      Future employers? I posted that from work. I'm making interesting reading for my current (and hopefully not soon-to-be-former) employer!

      --
      He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.
    12. Re:From the department of duh? by wbren · · Score: 1

      ...it doesn't change the fact that it will still end in tears for you...

      I think some people are actually into that. Wait, you were talking about sex, right?

      --
      -William Brendel
    13. Re:From the department of duh? by gnick · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Maybe "duty" was a bad choice of words, as it's not a chore. But it is stressful for the guy and something that we're pretty well saddled with whether we like it or not. Hopefully, we like it. If not, we have to cowboy up and take the responsibility on anyway. The problem is that some women put the responsibility entirely on the guys and expect us to cater to them without putting out much if any effort on their own.

      Still, even though I know how to work a bra and am proficient in their operation, it's still often more fun to just playfully "demand" that it be removed. (Although, since I'm in a long term relationship - 10+ years married w/ kids, the bra is usually gone long before bed-time). There are plenty of fun foreplay games to play other than showing off brazier maneuvers.

      OK - mod-bomb me. I can't even fathom how this post relates to TFA =). Again - WTF is this discussion doing on slashdot?!?

      --
      He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.
    14. Re:From the department of duh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      We have to live up to the "simple expectation" that we be beautiful and our bodies young, supple, well-rounded, etc. Do men?

      I don't think most men have any of those expectations. It's been my experience that women have those expectations themselves to compete with other women. Although it's generalizing, in my experience men (in real relationships) are generally pretty easy going about appearances as the years go by. Of course we still fantasize from time to time, but generally we appreciate just about anything where we can brag to our buddies about (e.g., makes lots of money so I don't have to work, really good negotiator that can get me a discount from the cable company, good cook and makes me dinner every day, can drink me under the table, beats me down the mountain in snow boarding, takes care of the kids so I don't have to, gives good head, etc). Of course being a hottie is one possibility, but you gotta give us at least something to brag about to our luzr friends ;^)

      Ultimatly it's all about bragging to our luzr friends ;^) Isn't that why women always want to look so hot? It certainly isn't to impress guys (what would a hottie want with a bunch of luzr guys just to blow us off?), it always seems to me women just try to look hot to stick-it to their frienemies...

    15. Re:From the department of duh? by darkstar949 · · Score: 1

      We have to live up to the "simple expectation" that we be beautiful and our bodies young, supple, well-rounded, etc.

      Alright, I'll bite and eat the mod points. Most of the guys I know that are my peers don't really care so much about how a woman looks on the exterior beyond the fact that she merely keeps herself in shape (e.g. bothers to workout enough that she doesn't gain copious amounts of weight) and is well rounded in the sense of being able to have a knowledgeable conversation about more subjects that just what is on TV.

      However, I am on Slashdot so my peer group might not be the same as yours in regards to the men you know. However, if that is the case, maybe you just don't like the men you are dating and need to meet different people?

    16. Re:From the department of duh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      is it so freaking hard to just take us out to dinner, kiss our neck afterwords in an intimate and quiet environment, and actually DO the foreplay (and for those in longer-term relationships, not have it become formulaic?) Because if the sex sucks, it isn't going to matter how much scientific knowledge you have about the mating process -- it doesn't change the fact that it will still end in tears for you! *mutters* They can tell me down to the molecular level how conception works, but they can't even get the damn condom out of the wrapper and a bra off without completely ruining it...

      Will there be an equal salary demand to go with the neck-kissing and dinner taking?

    17. Re:From the department of duh? by girlintraining · · Score: 1

      OK - mod-bomb me. I can't even fathom how this post relates to TFA =). Again - WTF is this discussion doing on slashdot?!?

      You're a geek and you're asking how topic drift happens. Dude. ;)

      --
      #fuckbeta #iamslashdot #dicemustdie
    18. Re:From the department of duh? by ResidntGeek · · Score: 1

      And that's half the problem. It's not supposed to be a duty, it's supposed to be something you do because you care about the other person.

      It's a duty we take on because we care about the other people. It's still a duty.

      --
      ResidntGeek
    19. Re:From the department of duh? by girlintraining · · Score: 1

      don't really care so much about how a woman looks on the exterior beyond the fact that she merely keeps herself in shape (e.g. bothers to workout enough that she doesn't gain copious amounts of weight)

      That's such a loaded statement I think I'll just step around it and hope it doesn't detonate...

      However, if that is the case, maybe you just don't like the men you are dating and need to meet different people?

      I suppose shouting "dyke!" in a crowded internet forum would be bad form?

      --
      #fuckbeta #iamslashdot #dicemustdie
    20. Re:From the department of duh? by DNS-and-BIND · · Score: 1

      Don't worry - after you have a child, it will become the focus of your life. Love from your husband will become a distant second, and sex will be an unwanted chore. After childbearing, women go through changes and find sex rather uninteresting...think about how a young boy likes toys and candy, and then loses interest when he gets hair on his balls and starts noticing girls. Same thing with women and kids.

      --
      Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
    21. Re:From the department of duh? by Degro · · Score: 1

      Great, now semen displacement is in my google search history...

    22. Re:From the department of duh? by darkstar949 · · Score: 1

      That's such a loaded statement I think I'll just step around it and hope it doesn't detonate...

      While I will agree that I could have phrased that much better (suggestions anyone?) I think the spirit came though in that not all men think that women should be "young, supple, well-rounded, etc." Also, this whole subject tends to be a two way street in that woman also have a mental image of what the "ideal" man should look like, the big difference tends to be that most men don't care as much about their personal body image.

      I suppose shouting "dyke!" in a crowded internet forum would be bad form?

      Also, I didn't mean the meeting other people comment in a negative way and it doesn't help that my phrasing was horrible as well as that should have been "...and need to go somewhere else to meet different people?" Thus, I apologize for any offense I might have caused. What I was trying to get at was if you don't like the men you are meeting, perhaps you are trying to meet them at the wrong type of places? I've had problems meeting women before in the past, turns out that I wasn't going to meet the type of women that I wanted where I was going, change of venue and things are going a little bit better.

    23. Re:From the department of duh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I suppose shouting "dyke!" in a crowded internet forum would be bad form?

      To be fair, it was only mentioned once and in passing. In fact, I'm so unsure of myself that I'm posting anonymously. If I'm wrong, my sincerest apologies.

    24. Re:From the department of duh? by CodeBuster · · Score: 1

      That said, it's apparently also really freaking hard for many women to show the same level of respect for men's similarly simple expectations.

      Amen. Why must women always make getting sex like trekking through a 100+ hour RPG, pushing all of their buttons in the right sequence and completing all of the side quests (with speech challenges!), from the standpoint of the guy? They complain about how we don't respect their expectation of the ultimate romantic encounter every time there is intimacy. No wonder some men, generally those with WAY more money than time, opt for the high-end call girl instead; its an efficient allocation of scarce time and effort on their part and girl doesn't complain that they are getting a bit fat around the middle and don't spend enough time with them.

    25. Re:From the department of duh? by NewbieProgrammerMan · · Score: 1

      I'm sorry, but I think you misunderstood me: I'm not making the standard complaint. I'm saying that, whether you're a man or woman, if you're somebody that genuinely wants your partner to actually give a shit about you in the same way you care about them, then you're probably going to invest a lot of time to find somebody that meets that standard. Why? Because most people--men and women--want somebody that will do a laundry list of things for them, but they can't be bothered to reciprocate in full. I'm only 40-ish years old, but so far I haven't seen anything to make me think that one sex is any better in that respect than the other.

      And, although I'll get beat up for it, I have to say a couple of other things:

      1) Tell the people that expect you to agonize over that swimsuit and that "young, supple, well-rounded" bullshit to go take a flying leap. Any guy that's going to be a good partner isn't going to worry about that, and (honestly) any guy that's really worried about it in any significant way probably isn't worth your time.

      2) If you go around assuming that guys just can't understand how much it sucks to be a woman, you're going to run off a good percentage of the guys that would actually like to give a shit about their partner.

      --
      [b.belong('us') for b in bases if b.owner() == 'you']
    26. Re:From the department of duh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Only women would immediately try to educate the other participants in a conversation. "Don't use", "You'll never", and the best, "it'll serve you well". Gross!

      Personally I can recommend bi-sexual women as the very best lovers and long-term partners. They've been with women, and deeply appreciate the simplicity of a good (not asshole macho) man. As a bonus, three-somes are entirely possible and sometimes happen. You have to be open-minded though, and accept their playing around and breaking some lesbian heart. :-)

    27. Re:From the department of duh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      But really people, is it so freaking hard to just take us out to dinner, kiss our neck afterwords in an intimate and quiet environment, and actually DO the foreplay (and for those in longer-term relationships, not have it become formulaic?)

      it's apparently also really freaking hard for many women to show the same level of respect for men's similarly simple expectations.

      They aren't similarly simple. And don't use the "R" word -- it just leads to arguments. We have to live up to the "simple expectation" that we be beautiful and our bodies young, supple, well-rounded, etc.

      I'm pretty sure he was talking about expecting fellatio, and probably also expecting the woman to do more than impersonate a corpse during sex.

      As for your rant, I've just got to laugh. The nastiest, stinkiest, 45-year-old, dried up, toothless, one-armed, trailer trash of a woman could walk into a bar and walk out with a fuck buddy within ten minutes. Men have notoriously low standards for what they'll stick their cocks into.

      Now, maybe you're talking about something else? Maybe you're talking about finding men to shower you with their time and money? Yeah, men are a lot pickier, then. Or maybe you're talking about the affections of 6'4", ripped, rich, Aryan demigods? Well, yeah, guys who must constantly turn down offers from 8s and 9s because their schedule is booked solid with 10s are going to seem pretty damn picky.

  15. Wonder if this will work. by wilburx · · Score: 5, Funny

    Don't worry, I don't need to pull out because you're ugly.

    1. Re:Wonder if this will work. by greywire · · Score: 1

      Or the converse:

      "of course I think you are beautiful, look at how much .. "

      They always say actions speak louder than words..

      --
      -- Senior Software Engineer, Attorney appearance services, locallawyerapp.com.
    2. Re:Wonder if this will work. by meta-monkey · · Score: 1

      And me without my mod points...

      --
      We don't have a state-run media we have a media-run state.
    3. Re:Wonder if this will work. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yeah. That works very well as a contraceptive - just tell her beforehand that she looks ugly, and there's practically no way of little "mishap".

  16. Doesn't make sense by nysus · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Then why is the world full of so many ugly people?

    --

    ---Technology will liberate us if it doesn't enslave us first.

    1. Re:Doesn't make sense by spun · · Score: 2, Funny

      Ugly people mate, too. They just mate with other ugly people. In other news, ugly men produce more sperm. Hot guys know they'll be donating a bunch of sperm to a bunch of willing ladies, while ugly guys apparently know they won't be getting many chances, so they've got no reason to hold some swimmers in reserve.

      Ah, the wonders of nature.

      --
      - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
    2. Re:Doesn't make sense by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      In the UK it was reported as ugly men, due to getting laid less, shoot more sperm, increasing chance of copulation in the rare times they get sex. Attractive men, getting laid more often, have low sperm counts per encounter because they're spreading the seed around.

    3. Re:Doesn't make sense by blahplusplus · · Score: 1

      "Then why is the world full of so many ugly people?"

      Because the heritability of beauty is not 1 to 1, you can have beautiful people have ugly children and vice versa.

  17. So, can beauty contests be settled... by Trip6 · · Score: 1

    with a sperm race? With betting! A perfect blend of OTB and Miss Universe.

    --
    I hate being bipolar; it's awesome!
  18. Some sperm will even find you in a pool.. by Nukenbar · · Score: 5, Funny

    That is, if you are a 13 year old "virgin".

    1. Re:Some sperm will even find you in a pool.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt." -- Mark Twain

    2. Re:Some sperm will even find you in a pool.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This is the funniest thing I have heard all day.

    3. Re:Some sperm will even find you in a pool.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Pool's closed due to... wait what?

    4. Re:Some sperm will even find you in a pool.. by DigiShaman · · Score: 1

      Ya, I all BS on that.

      Even if the pool wasn't chlorinated, the probability of getting pregnant by a few stray sperm is so astronomically high, it might as well be called immaculate conception.

      --
      Life is not for the lazy.
  19. if you are talking ejaculate volume by circletimessquare · · Score: 5, Insightful

    in the animal kingdom and in humans, you need to talk about testicle size

    testicle size is a very good indicator of how monogamous females are. for example, chimpanzee females are very promiscuous. therefore, male chimpanzees have huge testicles. why? well, if the idea is you have to leave some offspring in this world, the only valid route you can take to ensure that with promiscuous females is to have a huge ejaculate load, to literally flood out competing males' sperm

    it follows then that attractive females, with more frequent mating possibilities, require more "output" to ensure your reproductive success. so, biologically, it may not be a matter of aesthetic pleasure leading to greater sperm volume, but simply a matter of fear: you need to dump a huge load to make sure your sperm outcompetes all the other mating opportunities an attractive female can command

    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
    1. Re:if you are talking ejaculate volume by Sponge+Bath · · Score: 4, Funny

      ...you need to talk about testicle size

      And testicle count. A common misconception is that human males only have two, when they actually have three. This is because the center testicle is hidden in a fold of scrotum between the other two. Women who are interested should check this out with their husbands and boyfriends tonight.

    2. Re:if you are talking ejaculate volume by Meumeu · · Score: 2, Funny

      ...you need to talk about testicle size

      And testicle count. A common misconception is that human males only have two, when they actually have three. This is because the center testicle is hidden in a fold of scrotum between the other two. Women who are interested should check this out with their husbands and boyfriends tonight.

      [citation needed]

    3. Re:if you are talking ejaculate volume by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "Male mammals, including men, have two testicles."

      http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testicle

    4. Re:if you are talking ejaculate volume by Duhavid · · Score: 1

      Just curious, what was the sound made when that joke went *way* over your head? :-)

      --
      emt 377 emt 4
    5. Re:if you are talking ejaculate volume by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Women who are interested should check this out with their husbands and boyfriends tonight.

      You make the assumption that women read /. or any guy who reads /. has a girlfriend or wife.

  20. Evolutionary bias? by scorp1us · · Score: 1

    I wonder what the evolutionary mechanics are to this. Why race to an attractive woman's egg more than an unattractive one? Seems that from a male perspective, it doesn't matter who the recipient is as long as the generic material is transferred, so men should always give it 100%. So we then arrive at the idea that men hold back on ugly partners. Now, why put yourself at a competitive disadvantage for unattractive women? What kind of evolutionary penalty is there? Does our reproductive system recognize that prettier people make for more successful future generation's mating? This would I believe be a new discovery in genetics and evolution. That our selves are organized just not for the immediate generation but successive generations as well.

    Additionally, what does this mean for intercultural, interracial dating, where different societies find other societies' traits as attractive or repugnant?

    Any other ideas on why giving it your all might not produce a favorable genetic distribution?

    --
    Slashdot's rate-of-post filter: Preventing you from posting too many great ideas at once.
    1. Re:Evolutionary bias? by tabrnaker · · Score: 1

      maybe because we're just cogs in the genetic program? It's all about creating the perfect dna, not multiplying for no reason. Evolution has direction.

    2. Re:Evolutionary bias? by MaWeiTao · · Score: 1

      What I suspect is meant by an attractive woman is someone with nice hips and ample breasts, meaning the appropriate qualities for child-bearing. However, because of humanity's appreciation for aesthetic qualities other factors may come into play. I also think that popular culture was twisted what men find attractive so that guys end up going for woman who are overly plasticky or, at the other extreme, thin as toothpicks.

      I think there is probably a general template for what is considered attractive, but certainly there are specific characteristics that are more appealing in some cultures. And again, I think popular culture has turned beauty into a caricature.

    3. Re:Evolutionary bias? by wasabii · · Score: 1

      Because there is a finite amount of sperm. This is about allocation of sperm. Allocate more sperm to attractive females, where attractiveness is established by ability to care for offspring. Strong body. Upright posture. Features which hint at youth, etc. The genes which then cause you to do the allocation are promoted more strongly.

    4. Re:Evolutionary bias? by greywire · · Score: 1

      What occurs to me is that this in some sense promotes the idea that humans are not meant to be monogamous (or at least the males arent). Because holding back means you are saving it for the next, potentially more attractive mate. Otherwise, why not give it your all each time?

      I'd like to see this correlated with married men, single men, and married but cheating on their wives, to see if that changes anything..

      --
      -- Senior Software Engineer, Attorney appearance services, locallawyerapp.com.
    5. Re:Evolutionary bias? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You're confusing low cost with no cost. There's still a refractory period that depends in part on how much was "dispensed" in the last encounter. Since you don't necessarily know what will happen in your next encounter, or when it will occur, it makes sense to only go full out in cases that are more likely to result in high quality progeny.

    6. Re:Evolutionary bias? by scorp1us · · Score: 1

      The shape of the penis - with a mushroom shaped head has been proven to be of advantage in moving other males seminal fluid out of the way and providing optimum placement of the newer mate's seminal fluid. Given viability is measured in just a few days, this would mean that women genetically speaking, have gotten it on with more than one partner in a 3-day period, thus biasing for makes with a special head shape. Those dirty girls!

      (But be aware that only in Greek decedent cultures is monogamy really stressed. Prior to their discovery of one mom and one dad per child, women in many cultures were shared between men. Or, in matriarchal societies, many men were shared with women. Children were regarded as proportional to whomever the partners were. If you put more in, the child was more yours. After the Greeks discovered that was not the case - that regardless of how many men, there was only one father, we see society sequester the women at home, where they can't socialize with other men, ensuring that her children were his.

       

      --
      Slashdot's rate-of-post filter: Preventing you from posting too many great ideas at once.
    7. Re:Evolutionary bias? by scorp1us · · Score: 1

      What!? No, evolution is not directed. It is only punctuated equilibrium. That is, survival of the fittest. The DNA does not know how to combine itself to be more successful. Rather it relies on outside factors for its selection. Given a constantly changing world, there is no consistent direction. Each species fills its niche in a genetic cat-and-mouse game, which is wholly undirected.

      --
      Slashdot's rate-of-post filter: Preventing you from posting too many great ideas at once.
    8. Re:Evolutionary bias? by scorp1us · · Score: 1

      Ah, but that is another test. The "if I am planning for more later..." test. That is not one of attractiveness. Corollary to that is that you have the belief that your next partner is going to be more attractive.

      But lets look at the no/low cost argument. While the first is always the largest by volume, the second still has more than enough ammo to result in fertilization, same for 2nd and 3rd attempts. So the question now becomes is what is withheld forming an advantage for the next? Given the repletion rate of ejaculate, you're looking at about 24 hours. Are men so evolutionarily pressured that we should be getting action more often than every night?

      My question is one of the feedback look of "quality". You mention this, but somehow there needs to be feedback from the offspring back to the man to have him hold back on the fatties. it is this feedback mechanism that I seek to understand. There should be no difference, because there cannot be a feedback to bias for this.

      --
      Slashdot's rate-of-post filter: Preventing you from posting too many great ideas at once.
    9. Re:Evolutionary bias? by scorp1us · · Score: 1

      But what you fail to realize, and what I am inquiring about, is the feedback mechanism. There needs to exist some feedback from the child's viability to his father to apply evolutionary selection force for this to work. However, children are not that plentiful, nor are they have to communicate genetically with their parents.

      Unless - and this is out there - that the kids DID communicate genetically with their parents at one point in human history, where this behavior provided a feedback. And that might just be it. If you mate with a ugly, deformed inbred family member, you would not want that lineage to continue. Instead, you'd want to select fresher, non-inbred offspring. This would provide a selection pressure and reinforce the males that exhibited this behavior.

      I am satisfied with this answer. That tribes would at times, inbreed, because an inbred next generation is better than no next generation, while wanting to get to fresh, non-inbred population members. Corollary: Inbred traits are ugly, non-inbred traits are defined as attractive. This then could psychologically be applied to women in general, so this behavior would be practiced on the whole population, giving rise to a general "attractiveness" mechanism. But you need in-breeders to do it.

      --
      Slashdot's rate-of-post filter: Preventing you from posting too many great ideas at once.
    10. Re:Evolutionary bias? by tabrnaker · · Score: 1

      look up the research. It's there.

    11. Re:Evolutionary bias? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      the feedback is rate of reproduction

      the original man that ejaculated less or more depending on the attractiveness of the partner didn't do so because it helped or hurt him, it was just a random mutation

      if he was more successful at producing offspring that also went on to reproduce than people that didn't have that mutation, then the mutation will become more and more common in the population

      doesn't mean everyone will have it, or that everyone will have it to the same degree, but if it's true for a lot of people then it probably has some comparative advantage to not having it

      and that's the problem with trying to use logic to get from assumptions like being able to have sex more than once a day isn't important to figure out if something is useful or not

      evolution just describes how things got the way they are, if it wasn't, what are you suggesting the reason is that explains the behavior these scientists observed?

  21. and what makes a female rat attractive? by petes_PoV · · Score: 4, Insightful
    More to the point, how can the researchers assess which female rats are "babes" and which ones are fuglies.

    I really hope they're not projecting their own feelings and biases into the equation here. For this experiment to have any scientific value, there must be an objective measure of attractiveness, one with a proper definition and units (including a calibration standard). Can someone please tell me, for humans, what this measurement is based on, what the units are (Helens? the amount of beauty required to launch 1000 ships - but beauty is not attractiveness) and, most important, who the calibration reference is?

    Men need to know.

    --
    politicians are like babies' nappies: they should both be changed regularly and for the same reasons
    1. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by Chris+Burke · · Score: 2, Insightful

      For this experiment to have any scientific value, there must be an objective measure of attractiveness, one with a proper definition and units (including a calibration standard).

      No there doesn't. In fact to be as accurate as possible you must use a subjective one, because if you're trying to find a correlation between attraction and seminal potency, then it would naturally be the subject's opinion of attractiveness that matters. If you tried to find an "objective" measure of hawtness (realizing part of your point is that you can't), but the subject's metric differed, then you might find no correlation when in fact they are doing exactly what you hypothesized: emitting more/faster sperm when they find their partner more attractive.

      Yes this means you would invite a subjective measurement, the subject's self-reported level of arousal/attraction, but this is hardly unprecedented.

      BTW, in the study they didn't use humans or rats but red junglehens, where the metric is apparently pretty simple and uniform among males: size of the female's comb. Lots of animals have relatively simple selection criterion like this. Humans don't. So it becomes more complicated, but not impossible or invalid.

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    2. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by merreborn · · Score: 1

      More to the point, how can the researchers assess which female rats are "babes" and which ones are fuglies.

      A bust:waist:hip ratio of 3 to 2 to 3 (in humans, 36-24-36)

      It applies to all species. There's no debating that. It's science.

    3. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It applies to all species. There's no debating that. It's science.

      Really? It's science to apply ratios derived from (female) human proportions to entirely different species with different types of gender distinctions and secondary sex characteristics?

      The truth is female rodents, like the vast majority of mammals, don't have a "bust" to measure unless they are lactating (producing milk), which causes their mammary glands to swell. So bust size would be irrelevant to a rat, or for that matter even Chimpanzees or Bonobos. Humans are one of the very few mammals where a female has a high amount of fat (relative to the rest of the body) deposited around their mammary glands. In fact the only other mammals I can think of which have this feature were domesticated, like dairy cows, so that may be something artifically selected for over thousands of years.

    4. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by MBGMorden · · Score: 3, Interesting

      If I remember correctly based on one documentary I saw, symmetry plays a very large role in attractiveness. I'm sure there are many other (possibly measurable?) factors that come into play, but the more symmetrical a person's face, figure, etc were, the more attractive others perceived them to be. All in all it comes down to healthiness. Being physically fit is associated with being healthy. Symmetry is associated with being healthy. Things like abnormal growths and the like are associated with being unhealthy. Youth is also considered positively since younger people tend to be healthier than older ones (on average). Even skill at dance or display is perceived to show health.

      What it comes down to is at a subconscious level we have an instinct to sexually pursue those who we instinctively believe to be more likely to produce strong offspring and who will be best able to care for them.

      This is also pretty much the reason for the uncanny valley in robotics. There comes a point when a robot/android/etc looks human enough that we start to mentally process it much like we would a human, but the many "tells" that is has (blank emotionless stare, oddities in body movements, cryptic dialog) that rather than an innovative robot, we start to view it more like a human who as something very, very wrong with them. It's simple instinct that we become repulsed by it.

      --
      "People who think they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do."-Mark Twain
    5. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by notarockstar1979 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Helens? the amount of beauty required to launch 1000 ships

      And burn the topless towers of Ilium. Therefore 1 picoHelen is equivalent of enough beauty to put a rubber duck in the bathtub and light a scented candle.

    6. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by Mr2001 · · Score: 1

      A bust:waist:hip ratio of 3 to 2 to 3 (in humans, 36-24-36)

      Heh. Maybe if she's 5'3".

      --
      Visual IRC: Fast. Powerful. Free.
    7. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by mcgrew · · Score: 2, Funny

      If you tried to find an "objective" measure of hawtness (realizing part of your point is that you can't), but the subject's metric differed, then you might find no correlation

      I've found that with age, my idea of attractiveness has changed greatly. When I was young, the skinnier a woman was the more attracted I was, but these days skinny girls don't turn me on at all. Now I prefer slightly overweight to slightly underweight, and fat to skeleton-thin.

      When I was 15, a thirty year old looked like an old hag, at 40 an identical woman was hot, now I'd feel like a child molester if I went to bed with almost any 30 year old.

    8. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by clone53421 · · Score: 1

      Whoosh...

      --
      Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
    9. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This seems like a rather easy issue. Measure the pheromone/hormone/endorphine/etc. levels of the male when he has solo time with no visual aids. Then measure the levels when he has sex with multiple different people. The higher the levels the more "attracted" he would be. Then you just need to measure the motility...or I guess the projection distance depending upon the exit vector.

    10. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by Chris+Burke · · Score: 1

      Hmm... Using a time-variant model of attractiveness would complicate my data analysis too much. I'm just going to use an average and call your ideal mate "20 year old Rosie O'Donnell".

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    11. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by Tolkien · · Score: 1

      Are you getting in the back of her honda?

    12. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by NoPantsJim · · Score: 1

      More to the point, how can the researchers assess which female rats are "babes" and which ones are fuglies.

      I have a hard enough time not finding female rats attractive.

      I'm gonna go see a doctor.

    13. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by Col.+Bloodnok · · Score: 1

      Speaking as a 33 year old man.

      Agent Scully circa 1995. Beauty and rational intelligence.

      Also, your rat model issue is simple. Get a bunch of female rats, get a bunch of male rats. Contrive a situation where all male rats get to see all female rats. Let the male rats choose. Not rocket science.

    14. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by bar-agent · · Score: 1

      I blame you, Gadget Hackwrench! And you, Mrs. Brisby!

      --
      i'd hit it so hard, if you pulled me out you'd be the king of britain [bash.org]
    15. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by ignavus · · Score: 1

      I guess the rats are "babes" when the researchers start going out on dates with them.

      --
      I am anarch of all I survey.
    16. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by Arthur+Grumbine · · Score: 1

      Things like abnormal growths and the like are associated with being unhealthy.

      You say that, but I'm pretty sure the majority of your audience experienced love-at-first-sight with a certain "special" lady from the movie Total Recall.

      --
      Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure everything I just said is completely wrong.
    17. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by Celsius10 · · Score: 1

      The attractive rats were the ones on the pinball machine.

      --
      "Little things hitting each other. THAT'S WHAT I LIKE!" - Time Bandits
    18. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It isn't just symmetry, it's NORMALITY. Ugly people are mutants. Just go to UglyPeople.com and have a look. Then look at people who are attractive, and NOT the nobodies which Hollywood pushes out as 'stars' every year, the 'titless wonders' like Keira Knightley. Look at Milena Velba, if you want to see what MOST men regard as incredibly attractive.

      Attractive women are fitter, literally, than ugly women. Attractive women are better in bed, better at sex, and their children are more likely to survive than ugly women's.

      Ugly people are far more likely to be child abusers. They are far more likely to kill their own children.

      Look at women in prison - they are ALL ugly. You will NEVER see a beautiful woman in prison. Thus proving my point. (Child abuse causes criminality...)

    19. Re:and what makes a female rat attractive? by elgatozorbas · · Score: 1
      More to the point, how can the researchers assess which female rats are "babes" and which ones are fuglies.

      Easy enough. The "pretty ones" are being fucked more than the ugly ones.

  22. In other words... by Ragnarok21 · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...drink until she's cute, but stop before the wedding.

    1. Re:In other words... by sumdumass · · Score: 1, Insightful

      Many lives have been ruined by doing tequila shots within a physical mile of a church.

    2. Re:In other words... by MaskedSlacker · · Score: 1

      Too many weekends in Vegas?

  23. Sperm? They Can be Superficial? by Philip+K+Dickhead · · Score: 5, Funny

    Does the article posting mean this in a topological meaning? :-)

    I take that to mean on the chest and face. (.Y.)

    --
    "Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act." -- George Orwell
  24. First Post! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Ah shit. Premature again...

  25. More Seminal Fluid == Male Thinks Woman is Hot? by StaticEngine · · Score: 3, Funny

    Thus, Peter North thinks every single woman is a total babe.

    1. Re:More Seminal Fluid == Male Thinks Woman is Hot? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      and apparently when he's Matt Ramsey, men too.

    2. Re:More Seminal Fluid == Male Thinks Woman is Hot? by StaticEngine · · Score: 1

      Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about his moomlighting.

      I honestly hope he donates his prostate to science when he dies. I bet there's something fascinating to be learned there.

    3. Re:More Seminal Fluid == Male Thinks Woman is Hot? by bughunter · · Score: 1

      You're aiming for a "+1 Funny," but I'd give you an "Insightful." Considering the scale of the mean volume of his ejaculate, it would be far easier to make relative measurements of the individual samples, especially in non-ideal conditions such as porn movie sets.

      Thus, The North Pole series could serve as useful research material, provided one could make an accurate objective assessment of the attractiveness of each female partner.

      This idea is validated by my past observations that the dude really does launch a bigger fleet of tadpoles when the actress is a hottie. He appears to make especially messy glazes on the faces of cute blondes.

      --
      I can see the fnords!
  26. Another study has attractive MALES releasing less by wisebabo · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Coincidentally(?) another study (American Naturalist) claims more attractive MALES releasing fewer sperm (they don't mention any correlation as to the attractiveness of females). Not quite the same thing but related.
    Found this article at ScienceDaily.com, a great website by the way. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/07/090709095425.htm

  27. The more important subtext of this study by raddan · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    is that men will have sex with women that they don't find attractive.

    Of course, this fact may only be surprising to you if you are not a man.

  28. I saw, I came... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I conquered?

    1. Re:I saw, I came... by mcgrew · · Score: 2

      You're describing premature ejaculation.

  29. In other news... by MJMullinII · · Score: 1

    attractive people seem to have more dates!

    More at 11!

    --
    "Don't be a martyr -- BE THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY!"
  30. Re: Sperm Travels Faster Toward Attractive Females by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    !newsfornerds vs. !clevertag

    Tag Wars!

  31. Nice Icon by Joe+Snipe · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    I cant believe ./ has that graphic, but not the Ubuntu graphic

    --
    Sometimes, life itself is sarcasm...
  32. are we missing something ? by parallel_prankster · · Score: 1, Interesting

    Is there something more fundamental here? From the study, if it is true that ejaculation is better if the man finds the woman attractive and/or is highly turned on and it is more likely that the man is more turned on with a new girl (assumption ofcourse) than the same boring spouse that he sleeps with every night, does this mean that man was fundamentally a creature of instinct than commitment and that for better reproduction he should mate with more females than be married to one or something like that ?

  33. The attractiveness scale by S7urm · · Score: 1

    I can't for the life of me remember the study, or who the man was that was considered the most un-appealing, but there was a study done that measure aesthetics, and then judged celebrities based on their "scientific aesthetic value" and from what I can remember of the study, it was actually based on something more than the "Schwing" factor.

    --
    "This is the value of a summer spent and a winter earned"
  34. Doing the Dog by Tihstae · · Score: 3, Interesting

    In my younger days, quantity was more important and I would often "do the dog". This had several advantages. They were eager because they didn't get much attention paid to them. So not much work (or money) was needed to woo them. They would also be eager to please and would do things that the hot girls wouldn't (think swallow). Now I find that there was another great reason for doing the dog. My swimmers weren't as eager and it saved me a lot of child support money.

    Yes, I am old enough to remember going bareback and not worrying (or even knowing) about AIDS. It is a different world now.

    1. Re:Doing the Dog by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      It took me three tries to realize you weren't being literal.

    2. Re:Doing the Dog by seanadams.com · · Score: 1

      My swimmers weren't as eager and it saved me a lot of child support money.

      So doing the dog saved you from screwing the pooch?

    3. Re:Doing the Dog by mcgrew · · Score: 2, Informative

      It is a different world now.

      God, but I miss the seventies. These young guys will never know the joy of having a strange women come up and ask "wanna fuck?" without her asking for twenty dollars for crack.

    4. Re:Doing the Dog by MindlessAutomata · · Score: 2, Funny

      I "did the dog" once. Never again. Fleas everywhere.

    5. Re:Doing the Dog by Sponge+Bath · · Score: 1

      ...think swallow

      African or European?

      Yeah, Python references always get them hot.

    6. Re:Doing the Dog by ignavus · · Score: 1

      You tried three times with a dog?

      --
      I am anarch of all I survey.
  35. Knew that all along by Drakkenmensch · · Score: 1

    Isn't that discovery already demonstrated eloquently in bukake porn?

  36. From the article: by drunken_boxer777 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Males may alter the velocity of sperm they allocate to copulations by strategically firing their left and right ejaculatory ducts, which can operate independently," they explained.

    "I know what you're thinking. 'Did he fire one ejaculatory duct or two?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya?"

    1. Re:From the article: by oldspewey · · Score: 1

      I'm not clear whether the article is saying this species of bird has two ejaculatory ducts, or whether all males including humans have two ejaculatory ducts.

      Because I'd really like to live in a world where I can believe that I have two ejaculatory ducts

      --
      If libertarians are so opposed to effective government, why don't they all move to Somalia?
  37. Re:Another study has attractive MALES releasing le by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    All this shows is that females clearly are trying to destroy the human race by picking the weaker of the litter ;p

  38. OPE by Vinegar+Joe · · Score: 1

    "I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.........But I... I do deny them my essence." - General Jack D. Ripper

    --
    "The average reporter we talk to is 27 years old......They literally know nothing." - Ben Rhodes
  39. uh yea..... by johnnyR · · Score: 0

    Sperm Travels Faster Toward Attractive Females

    NO DUH!!!! I mean geez, come on of course it does!!!! hehe I said come...

    --
    The gun is good - Zardoz
  40. If sperm like the pretty... what about the stupid? by Psyber_Netik · · Score: 0

    We've all heard the saying "Stupid people shouldn't breed." Does this mean evolution is going to the deet dee dee's? I've never meet a hottie with an IQ above a dog. Sit... on it Fetch... a beer.. Speak... durty Roll over... ... GOOD DOG! Who likes the skippy?

    --
    #find / -iname "*id10t*" -exec rm {} \;
  41. T Giggidy I F by 192939495969798999 · · Score: 1

    Hey baby, you make me produce faster sperm! giggidy.

    --
    stuff |
  42. Cross-cultural attactiveness studies? by swb · · Score: 1

    Haven't they done cross-cultural studies that tie attractiveness to specific physical characteristics that appear linked to successful child bearing & rearing? Specific bust/waist ratios, etc? Wouldn't it make some kind of sense that the body would invest more resources in a reproductive partner though to be a better child bearer?

    The study *I* want to read isn't "Why do hot girls get fucked more?" --- we know that, but we don't know why we put up with all the narcissism and bitchy attitude for the nominal improvement in sex and a palpable dent in our wallets.

    1. Re:Cross-cultural attactiveness studies? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      According to TFA, they only did this study on two non-human species and are apparently generalizing it to humans as well as other animals.

  43. How sure are they of the accuracy of this? by blair1q · · Score: 1

    How can they be sure they got accurate results?

    Q: Did you have sex with this woman?

    A: Yes.

    Q: How much seminal fluid was there?

    A: Uh, a lot. Yeah. I'm like a ThirstBuster nozzle on game day.

    Q: Did you find her attractive?

    A: N-- uh, what? Of course! I dig hunches.

  44. Congratulations slashdot! by Chad+Birch · · Score: 1

    I think this is a new low, and for samzenpus, that's a difficult feat.

    --
    Sturgeon was an optimist.
  45. Re:T Giggidy I F #2 by 192939495969798999 · · Score: 1

    Hey baby, you're so hot, you make my sperm go supersonic! giggidy.

    Aw come on, it's friday and you post this story? How could I not DP! (giggidy)

    --
    stuff |
  46. Hey, is that the new Eclipse icon? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Hey, is that the new Eclipse icon?

  47. Re:Sperm? They Can be Superficial? Maybe... butt.. by davidsyes · · Score: 1

    It could be on a MEAN top OHHHH GRAphical angle...

    Next up: "Well-balanced sperm produces happier babies... Happy babies grow to produce happier, cuter offspring..."...

    --
    Previously: "Linux... Toward the Sunrise..." Now: "Linux... Toward the-- No, now, part of Every Sunrise"
  48. Being married for 15 years, by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I can attest there is no such thing as "a happy marriage."

    1. Re:Being married for 15 years, by COMON$ · · Score: 1

      Just because you fail as a spouse doesn't mean the rest of us do. Of course what do I know I just teach the stuff and am in an enviable marriage...

      --
      CS: It is all sink or swim...oh and did I mention there are sharks in that water?
    2. Re:Being married for 15 years, by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      There is at least one cow in Scotland, of which one side appears to be brown.

    3. Re:Being married for 15 years, by COMON$ · · Score: 1

      Considering the nature of the parent's post it is doubtful that they will understand your joke...or have the foresight to google it. It is good to know that someone uses the phrase though, I tried telling the joke to co-workers once...I gave up.

      --
      CS: It is all sink or swim...oh and did I mention there are sharks in that water?
    4. Re:Being married for 15 years, by MaskedSlacker · · Score: 1

      "The plural of anecdote is not data" is more succinct, and doesn't require knowing the joke (and making a leap through a murky analogy--unless you are calling non-skinny women cows, in which case it's an allegory).

      On the upside though, your way has the bonus that you can make fun of the GP for being too dumb to get it.

    5. Re:Being married for 15 years, by JO_DIE_THE_STAR_F*** · · Score: 1
      Here is the joke which the parent is referring to.

      One of the three jokes known to Christopher, the protagonist in the novel The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, concerns the preciseness with which mathematicians apply the term "at least one." As told by Christopher (Haddon 2003, p. 142), the joke runs as follows. "There are three men on a train. One of them is an economist and one of them is a logician and one of them is a mathematician. And they have just crossed the border into Scotland (I don't know why they are going to Scotland) and they see a brown cow standing in a field from the window of the train (and the cow is standing parallel to the train). And the economist says, 'Look, the cows in Scotland are brown.' And the logician says, 'No. There are cows in Scotland of which at least one is brown.' And the mathematician says, 'No. There is at least one cow in Scotland, of which one side appears to be brown.

      I googled and found the above here

    6. Re:Being married for 15 years, by Philip+K+Dickhead · · Score: 1

      Listen, my own Grandmother relied on anecdotal data, and she lived to be 117 years old!

      That said, life is anecdotal...

      Data is a construct by which we may delude ourselves with the notion that our intellect can transcend experience.

      --
      "Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act." -- George Orwell
    7. Re:Being married for 15 years, by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I figured that too, but then I thought maybe he'd think I was referring to his wife and I laughed and posted it anyway.

      (Yes, I'm the same AC)

    8. Re:Being married for 15 years, by COMON$ · · Score: 1

      Well It gave me a good laugh

      --
      CS: It is all sink or swim...oh and did I mention there are sharks in that water?
  49. So the conclusion here... by Mechanik · · Score: 1

    ... is that Peter North finds women really, really, really attractive?

  50. Re:If sperm like the pretty... what about the stup by rickb928 · · Score: 1

    You are of limited experience. I, for one, know better.

    --
    deleting the extra space after periods so i can stay relevant, yeah.
  51. It's all in the waist to hip ratio. by spun · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Scientists have done surveys of people all over the world, from all different cultures. They asked men, "If you were stranded on a desert island with only one woman, what should she look like?" and showed the guys silhouettes of various women. They showed the same pictures to women and asked, "Which lady do you think the guys will pick?" Men like curvy women, while women, for some reason, think men want emaciated looking girls.

    --
    - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
    1. Re:It's all in the waist to hip ratio. by cayenne8 · · Score: 1
      "Men like curvy women, while women, for some reason, think men want emaciated looking girls."

      Curvy is one thing...FAT is another. And sadly, most women I see these days are fat/overweight.

      I like a nice ass, but, not HUGE. A lot of guys like very large breasts, I prefer smaller ones actually...that way, as the girl gets older, they don't sag. Nothing turns me off worse that saggy floppy tits.

      I say, it is always better to start off with a girl that is skinny (not anorexic)...that way as they age and fatten up a bit, it isn't too bad.

      I prefer the figures of say...a Jennifer Aniston, or Courtney Cox. Ok, Cox got a bit too skinny at times, but, I mean when she was in good shape.

      I also don't mind a girl that has a bit of muscle tone to her...one that works out in a gym. I like the lean to be slightly muscular, I don't like triceps that flap in the wind, you know?

      I like that body type...but, they have to look VERY feminine...long hair, good looking facial features. And in general, I find that most women need some makeup. Very few can get away with 100% natural.

      --
      Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
    2. Re:It's all in the waist to hip ratio. by spun · · Score: 1

      As I said, it isn't the overall size, it's the ratio of the various parts. As for all women being fat... do you live in the flyover or something? The midwest is chock full of corn fed beefers. Try California, I think they have laws against public fatness there.

      --
      - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
    3. Re:It's all in the waist to hip ratio. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Spoken like someone who has never been to California :)

      I can assure you, it's not all Baywatch and Beverly Hills 90210.

    4. Re:It's all in the waist to hip ratio. by badboy_tw2002 · · Score: 1

      I think its just a perception that whenever you hear someone say "Man, I like REAL women that have REAL curves" you just assume they're a chubby chaser. There is an in between people!

    5. Re:It's all in the waist to hip ratio. by MaskedSlacker · · Score: 1

      But the parts that are...oh....

    6. Re:It's all in the waist to hip ratio. by prozaker · · Score: 1

      Women who are curvy are more suited for babies, thats why men are attracted to them more than really thin looking girls.
      since Much of the hip size contributes to a healthier womb, it is more likely that such women will conceive a healthy baby. Of course men are attracted to women who will prolong its genes more than its neighbor.

    7. Re:It's all in the waist to hip ratio. by jmo_jon · · Score: 1

      Scientists have done surveys of people all over the world

      You mean like independent neutral Swiss scientists?

      When it comes to differences/preferences between/among the sexes you'll see the most ludicrous results and theories, and more often than not are they plain wrong if you look at their data.

      They are however extremely popular amongst the tabloids since it allows (mostly) men to see how much better they are, and they can even back up their claims with "scientific studies", which we all know can't be questioned.

  52. Makes sense for promiscuous species by Arthur+B. · · Score: 1

    In promiscuous species, a male has a seminal fluid budget to spend carefully, there's every reason in the word to weight the amount produced by the expected fitness of the offspring. Humans are not that promiscuous, which is why our testicles are not as big as say bonobo who need a large sperm budget to go through their day.

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    \u262D = \u5350
  53. It's true. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

    Less attractive chicks are, on average, better in bed than more attractive chicks. By a significant margin

    The conclusion should be pretty obvious - people don't like to work unless they have to, and the uglier the girl is, the more she has to.

    This message spoken by someone with a large enough sample size to draw a statistically significant conclusion.

    1. Re:It's true. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Pics or it didn't happen.

  54. Says who? by raehl · · Score: 2, Funny

    Spoken like someone who has given up all hope of having sex with an extremely attractive woman. Unless she's bored, or really new to sex, it's highly unlikely that she'll be any worse at it than any other girl.

    Spoken like someone who has either never had sex with not-so-attractive women (you're missing out!) or not had sex with extremely attractive women (you're missing out!) or someone who has not had sex with women (not that there's anything wrong with that!)

  55. Oblig XKCD by Ogi_UnixNut · · Score: 1

    http://xkcd.com/314/

    I have to say, I am having the same experience (with the exception that I never liked skinny/flat girls). As I get older, girls who I would have had no problem sleeping with when I was younger (e.g. 16 years old), would now just seem somewhat creepy. The formula given in xkcd is quite accurate in my experience.

  56. Useful Research by andrewbwn · · Score: 1

    This kind of research is really useful, men will finally want to have sex with attractive women.

  57. And... by BerryMadness · · Score: 1

    thats why I'm not an illigitimate father...

  58. Inquiring Minds Want To Know by BigBlueOx · · Score: 1

    The first part of the FA says that my sperm will go faster if I think the woman is attractive. Ok. But then they say that smoking marijuana will slow my sperm down! Now wait! If I think the woman is attractive after I've smoked because she looks like a Frito ... which effect is stronger?? Did they test for that?? Does one does one effect cancel the other?? C'mon guys!

    This is sloppy research. We are not impressed.

  59. But what if you are fantasizing.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Didn't RTFA, but what if you are fantasizing about another (more attractive, at least in your eyes) woman whilst having coitus with another woman? Say you are thinking of engaging in coitus with Tia Carrere/Brad Pitt during intercourse with your spouse. Will you produce more sperm during that session?

  60. Very true. by 93,000 · · Score: 2, Informative

    in the animal kingdom and in humans, you need to talk about testicle size

    testicle size is a very good indicator of how monogamous females are.

    Very true. My wife has HUGE testicles, and she's always flirting with other guys.

  61. Attractiveness or turned-on-ness? by AP31R0N · · Score: 1

    Would the result be the same if it was a less attractive partner, but one who was still a great turn on? Like a plain looking woman who can talk at length about the Uncertainty Principle and knows where your buttons are....

    By the way, this isn't about being "superficial" this is about enhancing the likelihood of healthier, arguably better members of the species passing on genes. Nature isn't superficial... it's pragmatic. Superficial is a word invented by ugly people to hurt the feelings of better looking people. It's not my fault i like big boobs, slender waists and bright blue eyes. i didn't choose that.

    --
    Utilizing the synergization of benchmark e-solutions to pre-workaround action items!
    1. Re:Attractiveness or turned-on-ness? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That almost makes sense; just one thing... wtf links blue eyes with healthiness or arguable betterness?

  62. If she's very, very attractive by reboot246 · · Score: 2, Funny

    sometimes the sperm are in such a damned hurry that you don't even have time to get inside.

  63. Being a good looking guy in college by Il128 · · Score: 1

    I was doing it five times a day... The poor girl getting the end of day encounter got a thimble full no matter how good looking she was or wasn't. The morning girl always got a full two table spoons ... -Truth

    --
    Thanks to eating disorders most chicks are reasonably good looking these days.
  64. If this was true... by revjtanton · · Score: 1

    Then why are we all knocking up the bar skanks instead of our actual hot girlfriends!? Sheesh....stupid PBR...

  65. Faster swimmers or a bigger kablooie? by Beerdood · · Score: 1

    I still can't tell from reading the article whether this means the sperm just leaves faster or if the sperm actually swim faster once they've landed. I wouldn't be too shocked if it just shot out faster - being more attracted to someone could easily result in a faster money shot. I can't understand how this would make a difference though, seems like they still have a long way to swim, and the vaginal walls probably would probably block most of the shot anyway, they still have a long way to swim. Other factors like length, or depth at time of ejaculation seem like they would be much bigger factors.


    On the other hand, the sperm actually swimming faster seems remarkable. Maybe someone can clarify, does the amount of seminal fluid determine the rate the sperm swim or the velocity of the sperm leaving upon ejaculation, or both?

    --
    Global warming and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking number of pirates - Gospel of the FSM
  66. Release early and often? by Stormbringer · · Score: 1

    Not exactly my preferred mind-picture of "open source", thank you.

  67. This is kind of gross by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Does this mean attractive women have more cleaning up to do afterwards? No wonder they seem less motivated sometimes.

  68. Obligatory by istartedi · · Score: 2, Funny

    You mean like this?

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    For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
    1. Re:Obligatory by adamofgreyskull · · Score: 1

      Or like this?

  69. Every guy knows this by sqrt(2) · · Score: 2, Insightful

    More arousal and longer buildup means more ejaculate. Also a factor is the time since last orgasm. There are also various medical conditions and anomalies that can have an effect there too. I'd say that arousal probably has the least to do with it out of those three factors.

    And either way, it's not the sperm deciding to travel faster when inside an attractive woman, it's that they can travel more easily when they are in more seminal fluid which is released in larger quantities in certain situations.

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    If you build it, nerds will come. Soylentnews.org
  70. New Study: Beer makes sperm travel faster! by randy+of+the+redwood · · Score: 3, Funny

    If drinking makes women more attractive, and attractive women make sperm travel faster, it follows that...

    --
    The sun is the same in a relative way, but you are shorter of breath and one day closer to death
  71. Some open questions by vikstar · · Score: 1

    1) How did they judge the sexiness/hotness of fish? Did one of the scientist's say "Whoa! Look at her dorsal fin! This one's super sexy, throw her into the tank". Perhaps the male fish went for the ugly and easily accessible ones, and the sperm traveled faster in those?
    2) How is this supposed to have anything to do with humans?
    3) Why didn't Discovery News elaborate on the methods?

    --
    The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
  72. Don't believe me? Click the link. Seriously. by SteveFoerster · · Score: 1

    That just leaves more women with nice big round asses for Barack Obama and Nicolas Sarkozy.

    --
    Space game using normal deck of cards: http://BattleCards.org
  73. Does this mean that if I Shagged Paris Hilton, by darkonc · · Score: 1

    that my sperm would run backwards???

    --
    Sometimes boldness is in fashion. Sometimes only the brave will be bold.
  74. But attractive men give fewer sperm by bobdevine · · Score: 1

    Another study says attractive males release fewer sperm per mating.

    So the conclusions are:
    attractive women = faster sperm
    attractive men = fewer sperm

    While that may explain Ron Jeremy, I think that these studies show that the scientists have too much time on their hands, so to speak.

  75. So they're faster... by Cryacin · · Score: 1

    But the real question is, do they stalk them longer too?

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    Science advances one funeral at a time- Max Planck
  76. You MUST be female by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    If she is pretty, who cares what her personality is like.

    The only way men connect to woman is via the skin. All the other crap we just make up to get into woman's pants.

  77. You have to ask for what you want by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You have to ask for what you want. Really, you do. This is true in general, but it is specially true for sex, because men and women want different things when they have sex.

    Inexperienced women typically don't understand this, and are bitterly disappointed when their boyfriends don't give them what they want. Inexperienced men typically don't understand this, and are blindsided and bewildered when their girlfriends aren't happy with what they give them.

    I gained my experience in these matters through many long, painful, and sometimes tearful fights--arguments--discussions. You could short-circuit this process by telling your boyfriends, directly and explicitly, what you want.

    If you choose to go this route, keep in mind that men are not subtle, and don't understand hints. The old joke about the mule applies: hit 'em over the head with a 2 by 4 to get their attention, then speak very gently to them.

    All I Really Need To Know I Learned Watching _Married With Children_

    (Bud and an unidentified girl are sitting on the sofa. Bud is wearing jeans, sneakers, and a nondescript shirt. The girl is wearing a mini-skirt, crop top, high heels, tousled hair, and heavy makeup.)

    Bud: (hopefully) So, you want to, like, do something?

    Girl: (arms folded, scowling) I want to get fed, and I'm not riding on a bus.

    (Bud stands and walks over to his father.)

    Bud: (urgently) Hey, Dad! I need 20 bucks.

    Al: (looks at girl; grimaces) But son, she's a tramp!

    Bud: (nods eagerly)

    Al: (smiles approvingly; gives Bud $20)

    The girl will get what she asked for, Bud will probably get what he wants, and that's about as good as it gets for anyone in this life.

  78. Sperm Conversation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Sperm 1: Do we arrive soon?
    Sperm 2: No, we only just passed the tonsils.

  79. joke by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    yo momma's so fat that when your dad makes love to her, his sperm swim backwards.

  80. Late comment but something is missing... by hcs_$reboot · · Score: 1

    Researchers found that males can adjust the speed and effectiveness of their sperm by regulating the amount of seminal fluid they produce during copulation

    While I belong to the men species, I thought, in all fairness, that we have to add something here. The more aroused the female is, the more vaginal lubrication fluid she secretes. This fluid makes a more aqueous environment favorable to sperm mobility. Meaning, the more a man is attractive, the more the female will help sperm mobility.

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    Slashdot, fix the reply notifications... You won't get away with it...
  81. or maybe..... only maybe by Fotograf · · Score: 1

    wear a girl?

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    God's gift to chicks