Slashdot Mirror

What Do Gamers Really Want?

Yes, what does that monolithic mass of identically thinking game players want?

We want fantasy.

Wow. Figured that out all on your own, eh, Landry?

I've been shot at a couple of times. I don't mean I was sitting at the TV waving a controller around so a little pixel person could dodge cyborg powered armor piercing poison tipped bullets. Nope. These were just bullets from a simple and boring hand gun.

Does he mean he was actually shot at in real life? Could this be some sort of mental issue where he wants to recreate the effect that had on him?

I want a game that recreates that insane rush of endorphins and adrenaline or whatever it is after hearing a simple bullet crack past your ear.

Seriously weird. I once had a speeding, red light running car miss me (as a pedestrian) by inches, but I feel no desire to play Frogger a lot.

As a gamer I want a fun game. The path the developer takes to get there is irrelevant.

Realism is fine if done well, but ultimately nonessential. Would it help to have Mario asphyxiate in the screaming void of space while traveling between levels in Super Mario Galaxy? Well, actually, that *would* be pretty funny.

Anyway, there's more to gaming than bullets. There's entire games with a single bullet in them. Getting shot dead in Flower would be unnecessarily jarring.

Cracked covered game realism with a Photoshop contest: http://www.cracked.com/photoshop_85_if-video-games-were-realistic_p27

"Unionized, government street sweepers won't stand for mechanical sweepers that take their jobs."

Belive me the guy driving a street sweeper would defenitely prefer to be designing them.

The industrial revolution's success is based on the premise that automation allows society to progress. OTOH, it's basic failure is the current tradgedy of the commons. At fifty I have lost several jobs due to technology/social changes but I've made a good living from changing things with technology, and however small it may be I am changing society with this post.

The last time I was on a factory floor was the 80's, which in itself was quite a step up the food chain from a twenty-something "trailer park" day labourer with a wife and a kid. I recall reading at the time that the UK "metal workers(?)" union after months of fruitless negotiating had put a work ban on qualified fitters and turners performing any task that took less than X minutes to cycle (such as the metal press I was working in Australia). Their rationale was that any task that was that repetitive could be performed using a "one of a kind machine" by the same fitters and turners. This kind of thinking used to be called progressive, regardless of who it comes from.

Unions, Government and Big business (UGB) are all nessacary evils unless you can find somewhere to chase furry things with a stick and not be noticed, although don't expect to live much past your next severe tooth/throat/lung infection. When two or more of the "tribes" in UGB start swinging at each other the little guy is invariably trodden on in all the commotion. Yet like the abusive "parents" that they are, they will all tell you they love you dearly, it's the other parent who want's to, as Bill Cosby would once put it; "shoot you in the face with a bazzoka".

"This is where the problems begin. Like a fragile naked human pyramid, we are simultaneously supporting and resenting each other. We bitch out loud about our soul-sucking job as an anonymous face on an assembly line, while at the exact same time riding in a car that only an assembly line could have produced. It's a constant contradiction that has left us pissed off and joining informal wrestling clubs in basements." - David Wong, "The Monkeyshere".

All of the random ass-headed cruelty of the world will suddenly make perfect sense once we go Inside the Monkeysphere. - I think that's basically what you were saying.

Unless McD's filters humor sites that started out by ripping off MAD Magazine, you'll still be able to log in to Cracked, SA, YTMND, eBaum's World, etc.

Cops are outside of the average slashdoters monkeysphere.

Most people get caught ebcasue someone they know gives them away. Often the person that gave them away have no idea they did.
Also, stupidity. People will still use an ATM card and didn't plan properly on how to disappear.
There are a large number of people that are wanted and can't be found. I'll forgo the obvious comparison.

You could always fake your death:

http://www.cracked.com/article/154_6-people-who-faked-their-own-death-for-ridiculous-reasons/

I am totally unsurprised by this development after reading about the 5 species that seem to be trying to take over the earth article at Cracked.com.

"How the fuck parent got modded up is beyond me."

You'll see that all of the random ass-headed cruelty of the world will suddenly make perfect sense once we go inside the monkeysphere.

We are all sociopaths. It's a fundamental part of human nature.

You might be interested in this article:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-hoverboard-lie-how-back-to-the-future-ruined-childhood/

Wicked.

Does it fix the problems with Windows 7? After reading this review of a pre-release download, I'm a bit hesitant to use it.

How about something like this?

http://www.cracked.com/video_17823_helpful-tutorial-game-that-would-confuse-einstein.html

I've thought for a while that, sometime within the next 20-30 years, we'll see a reality show where convicted pedophiles were offered a chance at redemption via a one-way trip to Mars or another celestial body. (Ganymede would be appropriate.) Call it a mixture between "2001: A Space Odyssey", "To Catch a Predator", and "The Running Man".

(So basically, take the premise of Acceptable.tv's brilliant Pedophile Gladiators -- featuring Drew Carey! -- and put it in space instead.)

Pray you don't ever see this error message.

Original stories:
http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/10457/
http://listverse.com/2009/01/06/9-gruesome-fairy-tale-origins/
http://www.cracked.com/article_15962_gruesome-origins-5-popular-fairy-tales.html

Whoah! Looks like MS might be right on this one. After some detective work worthy of Sherlock Holmes, I have uncovered this.

Yea, you really need to email a link to this comment to cracked.com

http://www.cracked.com/blog/which-site-has-the-stupidest-commenters-on-the-internet/

Cracked.com had an article about this... http://www.cracked.com/article_16196_7-commandments-all-video-games-should-obey.html

Actually, Cracked.com used this news story to determine how stupid the user bases of a few websites actually are.

Slashdot got two stupids out of ten.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/which-site-has-the-stupidest-commenters-on-the-internet/

Damn right we do... See entries #4 and 5 here: [Cracked.com] - If sarcasm ruled the world

This was posted 2 weeks ago, it was stupid then and is stupid now. Also, go back to digg with your lists kthxby.

I second that emotion. The most notable thing about the list is that it shows a possibly-unhealthy level of interest in non-human reproduction on the part of the author -- five out of the ten, including "slug genitalia" and "hyena clitoris". Mr. Wolman should either get into a college-level comparative anatomy class, or into therapy.

And lists aren't such a bad thing, in and of themselves. I've gotten addicted to the Cracked Mazagine (sic) lists of things like "The 6 Most Badass Murder Weapons in the Animal Kingdom". Compare those with the Wired.com list, and you can't help but wonder if Cracked already saw this list... and stamped it "REJECTED".

This was one of the funniest Sims torturing page I've seen in a while....

Augmented reality - Microsoft style. Scroll down to item #13.

Orbit to ground bombing (AKA "Rods from God") has been explored by the science fiction writer Jerry Pournelle. Project Thor is just a concept for now but it seems like it would work at least in theory. Here are a couple pictures, pic 1, pic 2, and a second article The Rods from God .

Too bad you left out the best free option, but at least now we know you don't know what you're talking about. Not that it's massive, but it's persistent and allows ~32 players per server.

32 != Massively Multiplayer. That's not even half a monkeysphere.

One more cold hard fact. Tomas NorstrÃm, the judge in question, was not merely a member of several recording industry groups, he in fact sat on the board of the Swedish Association for the Protection of Industrial Property.

So, he wasn't just a party interested in keeping involved with industry law, he was in charge of an advocacy group. I think that would put him solidly in the prejudiced and/or biased category.

Let's look at it another way. The head of the MPAA happens to be a judge, and he is the overseeing YOUR trial on illegal file sharing, or whatever. After the trial is over, and you are given a year of jail time, it is revealed that not only does he belong to the MPAA the BSA, and the RIAA, he is in fact one of the controlling parties of the MPAA.

And the group of judges who were to decide whether or not he was biased also belonged to the MPAA and the RIAA.

Does it sound like a conspiracy theory?

The pirate bay blog says this:

Oh. And it should also be noted that Anders Eka, the guy with the final decision that is not appealable, heads in an immaterial rights organisation as Peter Drowsky and Monique Wasted, the MPAA and Ifpi-lawyers. However, he does not feel that working together with the lawyers that enjoys this decision the most has an impact on his decision or that he might be biased himself...

Sure, but that is Pirate Bay, and whatever they say is suspect. Well, to quote from this site:

Monique Wasted, Peter Danowsky, Jan Rosén (assistant to Monique in the TPB-case and also the chairman for the swedish organisation for copyright), Daniel Westman (another one involved in the same sphere of Jan Rosén and Monique Wasted) - and of course, Anders Eka.

People love to shout "conspiracy theory" as a way to discredit something. And that can be true. However, there have been some conspiracy theories that turned out to be absolutely true.

http://www.cracked.com/article_15974_7-insane-conspiracies-that-actually-happened.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_17103_5-ways-your-brain-messing-with-your-head.html

It's a combination of 1, 3 & 4.

Critical thinking should be a required course in every high school...

Obligatory link.

The movie looks great...

Compuserve, we barely knew thee...Cuz like, I could get offers to enlarge that certain part of the male body from the rest of teh webs since the early 90's.

So I guess you were better than AOL, who funny enough just put you out of your misery even though you were around longer. And I was never really into you, even more so once I found local BBS'. Especially ones with pirate software and Trade Wars. To be honest I was only fascinated by what was possible with you, not what you actually offered. I should have been more open with you and told you.

But you were great fun while you lasted, which in the eyes of most people who knew about you probably ended somewhere around 1985. I hope you weren't lonely in the end, because I had no idea you were on that respirator and life support. I TOTALLY would have come to see you if I knew...I mean, me and the free shell accounts at Arbornet have been getting it on all kindsa nasty style for years now, so I hope you don't curse me from intarwebs hell. I just found a part of teh 'tubes that, you know, I clicked with. It was never you, Compuserve. It was totally me.

Rest In Peace, old friend.

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/wong/2-8-08/jamiebanner-allen.jpg

Letterman didn't make a rape joke, he made a joke about her daughter getting "knocked up". Seems somewhat justifiable considering the daughter in question had in fact recently been knocked up.

HBN says it best; "David Letterman didn't sexualise Bristol Palin, her boyfriend did, and not with a throwaway monologue joke, but with, y'know, his penis.

http://www.cracked.com/article_15130_reasons-george-w-bush-isnt-as-stupid-as-you-think.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_17445_6-best-2012-apocalypse-theories-are-all-bullshit.html

*cough cough*

Another vote for Spinrite here, although I'd call it more of a HD necromancer than a data recovery tool.
--
And then I will fuck the remains!

Wow. Your .sig really goes... well... with your post.

> I fail to see the hypocrisy in people who believe religion == bad idea && gitmo == bad idea since both can be used as tools of repression.

You're distorting what he said. He didn't say that they merely think that religion is a bad idea, he spoke of people who wanted to ban it. That goes far beyond merely calling religion a "bad idea." A ban on religion is also a tool of repression (and therein lies the hypocrisy).

Yes, I have seen people seriously express a desire to outlaw religion in the same ways that China does. And they don't technically even ban religion entirely (like some wish to), they "merely" regulate what you can believe and require a license from the government for your church. Even though that's somewhat less than the ban he was mentioning which I have also witnessed people calling for, jackbooted thugs will crash any unlicensed private prayer meetings you're holding.

If you've never met that kind of atheist, I can only say that you must get out even less than I do.

You may want to think twice about that. http://www.cracked.com/video_17328_why-having-wolverines-claws-would-suck.html

Glad you enjoyed it, a more well known piece from the same author is The Monkeysphere

Way to rip off Cracked.com :P
http://www.cracked.com/article_15229_5-things-hollywood-thinks-computers-can-do.html
Not that I think you actually did. Funny nonetheless though.

Apparently, the Church of Scientology managed to perform the largest infiltration of the United States government in history. Ever.

Why is it that humor magazines and TV shows give us the best information these days?

Ten things atheists and christians can agree on.

... post mortem & raise you a Cracked article about the stupidity of the entire franchise.

http://www.cracked.com/article_17390_5-reasons-terminator-franchise-makes-no-goddamn-sense.html

Even for an advanced AI of the XXV century as Data was pretty hard to discern when something was funny or not.

And if they manage to make an AI that recognize and enables to discern or even make always funny jokes we will be so amused that wont worry about spam anymore. Mmm... maybe they already did

I'd pay $200 for a bible game that included Ezekiel 23:19-20, with all the members and their emissions. $200 dollars would be a good price for encouraging a game developer to fight fire with fire. They should even market it as a good bible teaching aid.

MEMO to game makers: PLEASE make a game with the most kick-ass moments from the bible and market it as a christian thing.

Go read this. Here, let me quote:

The Nirvana Fallacy is when you dismiss anything in the real world because you compare it to an unrealistic, perfect alternative, by which it pales in comparison. It wouldn't be a problem, except it keeps us from getting anything done.

Pathetic when Cracked is out there teaching such basic lessons... *sigh*

You start by claiming capitalisim trumps government as if they somehow exist independent of each other. Then you say "bring it on". Now you claim democray is useless unless you are the one who gets to decide who wins. I suppose the next thing you will tell me is it's all about "individual Freedom". (PC compiler - strawman warning 101)

Free government and Free markets are Free in that you are Free to participate. No one is promising you will win the lottery or be able to elect yourself as the local dog catcher. If you want to claim you are not Free to opt out of Free government AND/OR Free markets then I agree that Freely choosing to do so is not a viable option in most of the western world. Notice I said "not viable", you are Free to try but WE THE PEOPLE reserve the right to subject YOU to OUR laws on OUR turf.

However there are large areas down here in Oz that if you skip your visa nobody will find you, you might even last a week before the crows start picking the eyes out of your corpse. If you want to shop around a bit more, maybe look outside the west, there is probably at least a third of the planet where you could Freely choose to live without a government and consequently without a market, Free or otherwise.

Now I will happily burn my own strawmen, as above, if you stop making a fool of yourself by lecturing an old fart on human nature.

Now get off MY armchair, punk!

You start by claiming capitalisim trumps government as if they somehow exist independent of each other. Then you say "bring it on". Now you claim democray is useless unless you are the one who gets to decide who wins. I suppose the next thing you will tell me is it's all about "individual Freedom". (PC compiler - strawman warning 101)

Free government and Free markets are Free in that you are Free to participate. No one is promising you will win the lottery or be able to elect yourself as the local dog catcher. If you want to claim you are not Free to opt out of Free government AND/OR Free markets then I agree that Freely choosing to do so is not a viable option in most of the western world. Notice I said "not viable", you are Free to try but WE THE PEOPLE reserve the right to subject YOU to OUR laws on OUR turf.

However there are large areas down here in Oz that if you skip your visa nobody will find you, you might even last a week before the crows start picking the eyes out of your corpse. If you want to shop around a bit more, maybe look outside the west, there is probably at least a third of the planet where you could Freely choose to live without a government and consequently without a market, Free or otherwise.

Now I will happily burn my own strawmen, as above, if you stop making a fool of yourself by lecturing an old fart on human nature.

Now get off MY armchair, punk!

"You're obviously a true believer and as such beyond reason."

There is a phycological phenomena called "projection" and that comment would seem to indicate you are suffering from it, the good news is it can be treated with a heathly dose of self-skepticisim.

You failed miserably to agrue the science, you did not comment on the NAS testimony I pointed to, and now you send me a political hit piece from the "freerepublic". Take a good look at your link, do you see any links to references, sources, papers, even other opinions? - Ask yourself why not? Ask yourself why I haven't answered with a similar hit piece from a left-wing rag or some drivel from greenpeace?

If you don't understand even the basics of the science and are unwilling to look at contra-evidence then what's the point arguing about the politics surrounding it? Do you know what the definition of scientific skepticisim is? - Do you have a methodology that we could use to determine what the science actually says, or have you just made up your mind that the "freerepublic" has all the answers and anyone who disagrees with that page full of conspiracy theories is "beyond reason"?

While you mull that over ask yourself a political question that a genuine skeptic might ask: The basic findings of the IPCC are accepted by the scientific institutions of some 300 odd nations, the entire spectum of politics is represented by those institutions, do you not find this strange if, as your link says, it's all an "Al Gore scam"?

By the way if you want to label me a socialist go right ahead and make another mistake. I'm no more interested in political dogma than I'm interested in religious dogma (same thing really - ie: someone has all the answers). Contemplate my sig, practice some self skepticisim and unlock the political cage you are in, the world will suddenly make a whole lot more sense.