Slashdot Mirror

http://www.theonion.com/video/obama-replaces-costly-highspeed-rail-plan-with-hig,18473/

Everyone ignores the dangers to HuffPo's workers...

http://www.theonion.com/articles/huffington-post-employee-sucked-into-aggregation-t,27244/

This sounds like something from the onion

Oldie but goodie.

Ah but it's already been done! http://www.theonion.com/video/apple-introduces-revolutionary-new-laptop-with-no,14299/

the reason why people don't understand this is they mistakenly believe working the genius bar is anything other than a low skilled job. that's the whole point of apple products -- any idiot can use them. the genius bar is there to serve those dumber than idiots. this, on the other hand, is what i call a high skill job: http://www.theonion.com/video/new-apple-friend-bar-gives-customers-someone-to-ta,17693/

And that makes this unconstitutional or something?

You mean the Onion's five bladed razor from '04? And now it's a real thing....

Once again an article from The Onion accurately predicts the future, because this is clearly going to be the next development after Time/Warner successfully eliminates fast-forward: http://www.theonion.com/articles/advertising-firm-unveils-new-muteresistant-commerc,6667/

Are you friends with this guy? http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-man-constantly-mentioning-he-doesnt-own-a-tel,429/

I have an ipod - in my mind! http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-have-an-ipodin-my-mind,10912/

That wasn't sci fi, it was the Onion http://www.theonion.com/articles/just-six-corporations-remain,551/

Announcement here

Obligatory Onion:
" China Launches First Willing Manned Mission Into Space "

http://www.theonion.com/video/china-launches-first-willing-manned-mission-into-s,14273/

Not watching it is also an option.

Choosing this too often makes you look like someone from an article in The Onion: Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television

This reminds me of http://www.theonion.com/articles/nations-leading-alarmists-excited-about-bird-flu,1283/

And don't forget Intelligent Falling.

Looks like this amazing new Alzheimer's drug came out too late.

Hey. At least it could come back when it got bored. Not stuck up there like Spirit.

fox news is dumbed down to match its audience. So Americans why not get your news from somewhere else like http://www.theonion.com/ its dumbed down and twisted

I've been seeing reports that over the past few years, there's been an exodus of quite a number of people leaving NY

Yeah, the Onion had an interesting article about the mass exodus from New York City just a couple of weeks before I moved to it.

Well, I'm not sure when you moved in, but a loss of over 200,000 people from 2009 to 2010 isn't nothing. I wouldn't exactly call it a mass exodus, but that's still a lot of people.

I've been seeing reports that over the past few years, there's been an exodus of quite a number of people leaving NY

Yeah, the Onion had an interesting article about the mass exodus from New York City just a couple of weeks before I moved to it.

Schools need to teach intelligent falling. I call BS on this heathen "theory" of gravitation.

The onion has covered this :) Fast foward to 2:21, the mockup phone always makes me laugh http://i.imgur.com/KO0Xg.jpg

True of other social sciences also:

Sociologist Considers Own Behavior Indicative Of Larger Trends ...
"My observations indicate that the typical married American man has had increasing difficulty relating to his spouse over the last two and a half years, ever since she started taking those yoga classes," wrote Piers, 56, in his Interpersonal Connections Within The Marriage Paradigm: A Study In Causality.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/sociologist-considers-own-behavior-indicative-of-l,421/

I am reminded of this ancient Onion article: http://www.theonion.com/articles/mir-scientists-study-effects-of-weightlessness-on,1211/

There is a third option. Don't watch it.

Not watching television at all turns one into this stereotypical character from the point of view of one's peers.

Whoosh!

I don't watch TV anymore.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-man-constantly-mentioning-he-doesnt-own-a-tel,429/

It seems North Korea has other plans for the American Flag on the moon (jump to 1:24 if you want):
http://www.theonion.com/video/kim-jong-il-announces-plan-to-bring-moon-to-north,14305/

We have ads in our TV shows? No one told me. I guess that's what I get for not owning a TV.

Unfortunately, when you did that, you violated this patent, so all the proceeds of your patent have to go to those guys.

But is far easier to use for baking... On the other hand it seems like part of the nation is starting to convert:
Metric System Thriving In Nation's Inner Cities

Obligatory Onion .

http://www.theonion.com/audio/wind-reserves-to-run-out-by-2036,13448/

The constitution doesn't protect your from third parties talking to the government. How about understanding the issue instead of defending what you imagine the constitution is?

What steering wheel?

This one

Mod parent up. L4t3r4lu5, you might want to check to see if something's happened a bunch of times before saying it would never happen.

I gotta ask, do you have the same beard as the guy in the article?

Apparently the Romans *and* Lex Luthor. Good thing he had Superman on his side. Must've been one helluva team-up.

Nah... this was one hell of a team-up!

Clinton Goes Back In Time, Teams Up With Golden-Age Clinton

This, from the Onion, is old, but incredibly funny.

Obligatory "The Onion" link:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/evangelical-scientists-refute-gravity-with-new-int,1778/

Invalid definition for this conversation. By your definition, every analog TV in the US stopped being TVs when we switched to digital.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-man-constantly-mentioning-he-doesnt-own-a-tel,429/

Giant razor-clawed bioengineered crabs.

Bravo!

You have to let kids limit themselves and learn for themselves, otherwise denying them will just lead to indulgence later on when nobody is there to tell them "no."

THAT is the one you linked to?! Just this week they published: this about him :-P As soon as that hits the atmosphere, he's outta here! lol.

Personally, I'm dubious. The technology isn't that hard really, it's the political will. Creating that technology and building things at the scale needed for success requires massive funding, which means a couple guys in their garage can't do it themselves. Here's an Onion article that, while facetious, is pretty accurate. We humans, in groups, just aren't very intelligent, and are completely unable to work together to do necessary things to ensure our own survival. Generally, the only things that work well for us are things which a couple guys in their garage can do, and then after proving it, everyone else decides it's a good idea and jumps on the bandwagon. This is why things like smartphones have worked so well: it's not that hard for small groups of people to build such things and prove they work; then, once the masses see that they can talk to their dumb friends and play Angry Birds, they all want to buy one, making the whole thing highly profitable. There's no clear profit in building large spacecraft and traveling to Alpha Centauri, and once we have an Earth-killer hurtling towards us and it's clear we won't survive, it'll be too late to do anything to either avert the disaster or save the species. What's worse, we're too stupid to learn from history and from the failings of others, so we repeat their mistakes. The dinosaurs showed what happens when you don't invest in a space program. They had hundreds of millions of years to do so, yet they didn't bother (for obvious reasons), and then a giant asteroid wiped them out. Now, we've advanced enough to where we've figured out that this happened to them, yet we still don't take the threat seriously. And unlike the dinosaurs, we don't have the excuse that we're too stupid to develop language, technology, civilization, or even spaceflight.

Personally, I think we're headed into another Dark Ages, where we'll lose most of our technology and go back to living in grass huts and fighting each other in Feudal wars using swords and shields. Maybe after another two thousand years or so, we'll have another technological revolution and develop spaceflight again, and discover that the old myths and legends about humans walking on the Moon were actually true, and that time develop a serious space program and travel to other stars. But if a killer asteroid strikes before then, we're doomed as a species.

Whether we can come to a consensus and actually do it is another issue.

Obligatory

It's not that, it's the act of posting for the sole reason of letting everyone know you don't have a Facebook account.

In the end, it only makes you look bad.

Obligatory http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-man-constantly-mentioning-he-doesnt-own-a-tel,429/

Obligatory Onion article here.