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"I have a radical solution[...]: throw out your television, it has worked for me"

You wouldn't happen to be this guy , would you?

Perhaps he's the Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television? Would be my first guess from the post...

apparently, rumors of his demise have been greatly exaggerated.

Science Guy Bill Nye Killed in Massive Vinegar/Baking Soda Explosion.

Truly an American icon.

iGot: Adobe Creative Suite Premium (Education Discount, stop eying my parents' wallets...) Beyond Good & Evil (LOVE it!) Two books from The Onion [theonion.com] Finding Nemo Extended DVD Animal House DVD iGave: Mom: 'Flawed Dogs' by Berkeley Breathed [berkebreathed.com] Bushism-A-Day Desk Calendar Contributed to a lazy susan painted at Sticks [sticks.com] Dad: Bush Cards: A Carefully Stacked Deck 'Dude, Where's My Country?' by Michael Moore So yeah... nice 'n' liberal all around! ;)

"It was time for a change," said Reinhardt's wife Melanie, who has been married to the CEO for 17 years and has conducted her sexual business almost exclusively with him since 1984. "While I was generally satisfied with the level of servicing that I received under Howard, it was my feeling that a younger, more aggressive hand on the tiller might bring some new ideas into play. No matter how mutually satisfying the old deal was, its time had passed."
Read on...

"It was time for a change," said Reinhardt's wife Melanie, who has been married to the CEO for 17 years and has conducted her sexual business almost exclusively with him since 1984. "While I was generally satisfied with the level of servicing that I received under Howard, it was my feeling that a younger, more aggressive hand on the tiller might bring some new ideas into play. No matter how mutually satisfying the old deal was, its time had passed."
Read on...

As reported by "America's Finest News Source" this is even happening to Company CEOs!

As reported by "America's Finest News Source" this is even happening to Company CEOs!

All you are doing is causing your audience to educate themselves. Once everyone understands how wrong you are your stock price will suffer. Hmmm, suddenly when I think about it - you might in fact be doing us all a favor.

After all is said and done, all that may happen is that SCO's stock price may suffer ? Really, is this Just enough ? Will Justice have been served after all the mayhem that has been created ?

Borrowing from Friedman in NYTimes

... the image that comes to mind is that famous scene in the movie "The Shining" where Jack Nicholson, playing a crazed author, tries to kill his wife, played by Shelley Duvall, who's hiding in the bathroom. As Ms. Duvall cowers behind the locked bathroom door, Mr. Nicholson takes an ax, smashes it through the door, and with a look of cheery madness peers through the splintered wood and announces, "Heeeere's Johnny."

And the analogy would be that after all this Johnny's book doesn't sell well in the market. Other than that his life goes on ....

I am all for a little poetic justice .... How about adopting a little from What The Onion had in store for the Gigli Stars and dish it out to Darl, SCO, and all the members in their Axis ....

To quote from the Onion Story .... Focus groups at advance screenings for Gigli, a romantic comedy starring Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez set to open nationwide July 30, have demanded a new ending in which both stars die "in as brutal a manner as possible," sources at Sony Pictures said Tuesday.

I realize I'm a professor and very well educated, but so are you guys (after all, anyone using Linux is probably in the top 3 percentile for raw intelligence).

That being said, I DON'T WATCH TV.

So now we know this guy has a Slashdot account...

Personally, I'm waiting for "The Naked Ladies" and "America's Shiniest Objects" as promised by The Onion.

No, he's got to be Larry Groznic.

Are you this guy?

Obligatory Onion link

I wonder which newspaper that reporter will end up working for next?

I've got about 700 DVDs that I've impulse bought since 1996 or so

Heh. Reminds me a bit of Harsh Light Of Morning Falls On One-Night Stand's DVD Collection

Exactly. Here are the information filters I use :

Movies: Word of mouth.

Books: Word of mouth.

News: Call me old fashioned, but I subscribe to quality newspapers and magazines. For net news, I use their websites, Google News and for "niche" news, /., Blue's News and The Onion.

Music: Word of mouth.

I'm not one of those "All RIAA music sucks now!" cookies, there is still some major label music which is good, and I mostly hear about it through word of mouth!

Ads (aka: mental engineering): Mozilla Firebird blocks popups and I really don't mind spam. Also, I don't trust filters, I don't want to miss anything important. And guess what, some ads on the web are actually worth clicking.

Cheap Products: Word of mouth!

Oh, and both Mulholland Drive and The Matrix Revolutions are great movies. But it isn't any reviewer's opinion that made me think that, or go see them in the first place.

I defer to The Onion in this matter.

Oh, that was ones and zeros.

Microsoft Patents Ones, Zeros.

Oh jesus. And how about some bread and circuses?

Jonathan Green, is that you?

I'm sure this is here.. I'm too lazy to look

yeah.. i think she was a writer for theonion.com

geek gear and more!

But for a regular user of a site, it might not make a difference if they need 3 or 25 clicks to reach something. They might be happily exploring the site and feel they are learning something that will be useful next time.

Yes, exactly. The 3-click rule is more an advertising strategy than anything else. It's meant to ensure that new visitors can find something they enjoy quickly.

Once users have decided they like a site, it's still important for the content to be easily accessible... but counting the times a visitor clicks is not a valid measure of whether the 3-click rule was obeyed.

One of the study's unjustified assumptions is that one website-visit = one piece of desired information. In reality, a site visitor may want to see several different things. For example, 12 clicks spent on The Onion probably means that 7+ different articles were read, since most everything is accessible in less than 1-2 clicks.

Palestinians also announced migration to both Open Office and KOffice.

Seriously. From this day forward, I will make GOD DAMN sure that I never say anything that would be politically correct. So if you niggas have a problem with that, you can take it up with this white cracka. Bitchlap and out

Herbert? Herbert Kornfeld, is that you?

Yes. Because now you have a copy of the source that you're citing.

The real item of importance is that others have access to what you are citing. They may need/desire this for several reasons such verifying your claims and gaining more background information. By citing an online resource that is not backed by hard-publication (i.e. IEEE offers full-text online articles in addition to print, slashdot has no periodical that i know of) you may cite something that is gone tomorrow, possibily making you work look suspect. Furthuremore, anyone can post pretty much anything they want to the web -- think the onion.

The Onion-America's Finest News Source recently covered this topic. It was discovered that there was a huge surge in office productivity during the Internet outage triggered by the Detroit to NYC blackout a few months ago.

On second thought, it sounds like not enough people had a contingency plan and were left with nothing to do but work. Better to have that contingency plan...

When the Unix code is compiled to binary, it contains nothing but ones and zeroes. So it's only a matter of time before they lay claim to those digits and go after anyone who uses them. And since Microsoft has already patented it, the next step for SCO is to sue them for the rights.

So basically the problem is that people are spreading rumours using the internet? I, for one, am astounded! Who would ever think to malign the internet so?

Ok, so yes, bullying is a problem and the schools sure as hell aren't doing anything to help with it when kids are there (I think the Onion put it best with "Columbine Jocks Safely Resume Bullying"), but this really isn't anything especially new. It's like claiming the school needs to do something about kids writing notes to each other spreading rumours, or prevent them from phoning each other to spread them.

It doesn't seem that things have quite reached the level of extortion and serious crime and I'm not saying that it's acceptable, but this is something that's going to go on regardles of the medium being used. This is little more than a vague link to the internet used for the hell of it. I expected this crap back in '97 but not now. I mean, really, "Cyber-bullying"? Who in their right mind would ever use that?

Of course, there's the Onion's idea of executive compensation....

At least credit The Onion if you're going to blatantly paste them around.

Yes, and apparently he did porn films in the 80's.

They are great until Mom finds out

as this fellow found out :)
theonion.com

I couldn't help but think of this story at The Onion.

Mom Finds Out About Blog

...and I hate the word "blog".

I couldn't help but think of this story at The Onion.

Mom Finds Out About Blog

...and I hate the word "blog".

Like the onion once said:

"Our 8 year nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over" -GWBush

Without a doubt, "Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity Is Finally Over'" is one of The Onion 's most prophetic articles. It was originally printed in January of 2001 (wish I'd saved my paper copy), it predicted, "...that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years," and a number of other things. It didn't come 100% true, obviously, but for a humor article it was inspired.

Like the onion once said:

"Our 8 year nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over" -GWBush

Without a doubt, "Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity Is Finally Over'" is one of The Onion 's most prophetic articles. It was originally printed in January of 2001 (wish I'd saved my paper copy), it predicted, "...that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years," and a number of other things. It didn't come 100% true, obviously, but for a humor article it was inspired.

I'm american, and I hate Bush. Yet I voted for him. Damn it, give me a decent candidate to choose from!

Weapons of mass destruction found in North Dakota

At the time many thought this 26 MARCH 2003 article from The Onion was a joke

Point-Counterpoint: The War On Iraq

This War Will Disabilize The Entire Middle East Region And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-americanism
By Nathan Eckert

George W. Bush may think that a war against Iraq is the solution to our problems, but the reality is, it will only serve to create far more.

This war will not put an end to anti-Americanism; it will fan the flames of hatred even higher. It will not end the threat of weapons of mass destruction; it will make possible their further proliferation. And it will not lay the groundwork for the flourishing of democracy throughout the Mideast; it will harden the resolve of Arab states to drive out all Western (i.e. U.S.) influence.

If you thought Osama bin Laden was bad, just wait until the countless children who become orphaned by U.S. bombs in the coming weeks are all grown up. Do you think they will forget what country dropped the bombs that killed their parents? In 10 or 15 years, we will look back fondly on the days when there were only a few thousand Middle Easterners dedicated to destroying the U.S. and willing to die for the fundamentalist cause. From this war, a million bin Ladens will bloom.

And what exactly is our endgame here? Do we really believe that we can install Gen. Tommy Franks as the ruler of Iraq? Is our arrogance and hubris so great that we actually believe that a U.S. provisional military regime will be welcomed with open arms by the Iraqi people? Democracy cannot possibly thrive under coercion. To take over a country and impose one's own system of government without regard for the people of that country is the very antithesis of democracy. And it is doomed to fail.

A war against Iraq is not only morally wrong, it will be an unmitigated disaster.

No It Won't
By Bob Sheffer

No it won't.

It just won't. None of that will happen.

You're getting worked up over nothing. Everything is going to be fine. So just relax, okay? You're really overreacting.

"This war will not put an end to anti-Americanism; it will fan the flames of hatred even higher"?

It won't.

"It will harden the resolve of Arab states to drive out all Western (i.e. U.S.) influence"?

Not really.

"A war against Iraq is not only morally wrong, it will be an unmitigated disaster"?

Sorry, no, I disagree.

"To take over a country and impose one's own system of government without regard for the people of that country is the very antithesis of democracy"?

You are completely wrong.

Trust me, it's all going to work out perfect. Nothing bad is going to happen. It's all under control.

Why do you keep saying these things? I can tell when there's trouble looming, and I really don't sense that right now. We're in control of this situation, and we know what we're doing. So stop being so pessimistic.

Look, you've been proven wrong, so stop talking. You've had your say already.

Be quiet, okay? Everything's fine.

You're wrong.

VOTE!

like Clinton did in Bosnia...

Boy, some peole just want to find things to complain about. I just read another "you have to protect us from ourselves" article today, perhaps this should have been included in their list. Personally, I think if people want to hurt themsleves this way they should be allowed to do so. If they do it as part of their job then better qualified technical people should take their place.

"Really, why do you need anything else?"

Because, apparently some people have problems following simple instructions. Even with something so simple as filling in the circles, there will be people who can't figure it out and instead put and 'X' or check mark and then complain that their vote wasn't counted correctly.

This phenomenon (sp?) is explained in today's news

lol that is a great comment. Not only is it funny but it's so true! Humour is often at its best when you mix sarcasm and humour...it's kind of like The Onion. It's so funny because a lot of it is partiallly true (it's exagerrated of course).

Sivaram Velauthapillai

when you can listen to music that's in your mind here

now all we need is RIAA serving discovery documents for pieces of your brain....

"Quake Claims 500 Hours"

SAN FRANCISCO--Rescue workers are still searching frantically for any signs of unwasted time in the wreckage of high-school student Jeremy Fanshaw's life, following a devastating Quake game that claimed an estimated 500 hours of his time. "Ordinarily, a game of this magnitude would destroy 40 to 50 hours," Red Cross worker Linda Wallis-Hupford said. "But, tragically, Jeremy went back to play the game from the beginning, then he started playing at harder and harder skill levels, and, eventually, he downloaded software that let him create his own levels and skins." As rescue efforts continue, experts are warning of a possible Quake II disaster that could last even longer, with more stunning graphics.

taken from The Onion

Hey, Jonathon, I wondered where you'd been!