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How to Handle an Internet Outage
canadian_right writes "Do you know what to do if your internet connection goes down? This article includes many helpful tips, including a functional use for AOL disks."
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Be proactive, people! Print off a copy of the goatse.cx guy so if and when the net chokes you can tape it to your monitor. You may not even remember that you're offline after a few hours.
Trolling is a art,
I go and read a book, or the newspaper. Maybe I'll go and have a cigarette, or a beer.
Occasionally, I go back to work.
Is that /. slang for masturbation or something?
All errors in this comment are mine. Corrections are considered a derivative work, and punishable under copyright law.
Watching TV, couldn't possibly try getting a life at all.
...as a last resort, pull out an emergency AOL CD, the one with 910 free hours of connection to the AOL service. Take the CD in one hand...and slash it across your wrist! Suicide will probably be a better alternative than connecting to that service.
:P
Now that is just too funny. What else is there to do
We were all warned a long time ago that MS products sucked, remember the Magic 8 Ball said, "Outlook not so good"
You mean I might have to go back to reading books?
I have games installed on my PC for just such occasions. The only problem: I'm a technical support rep. :\
I actually use one of those tips - for classes where I don't have an internet connection available here at college, I install games on my laptop that I would never play otherwise. I rarely play games while I have a network connection. I'm pathetic. Oh, and when the network in our school was down (freaking kids with their stupid viruses), my roommate and I definitely made use of our "modems" and connected them to our phoneline and used dialup.
The anti-salmon
if the internet goes out... do something else!
Go outside, spend time with family, flirt with women [and get turned down. :-/]
Notice that none of these involve resorting to AOL...
Perhaps you should have read the article.
10. Use Your Emergency AOL Disk
If you find that your connection to the Internet is going to be longer than you can possibly stand, as a last resort, pull out an emergency AOL CD, the one with 910 free hours of connection to the AOL service. Take the CD in one hand...and slash it across your wrist! Suicide will probably be a better alternative than connecting to that service.
This article is satire. You must be one of the people referred to in Step 8.
only thing i use aol cds for is putting them into the microwave.
30% Troll, 50% Underrated, 10% Interesting
Score:5, Troll
rtfa, he says to use it to slash your wrists, becasue death is better than aol.
Step 3: Profit ? :-)
Wait a few more minutes and then go towards the light...
Last time my net connection went down I had such bad withdrawl symptoms that I had to smoke some weed to aleviate the pain.
I want a new quote. One that won't spill. One that don't cost too much. Or come in a pill.
I RTFA. One word: Lame.
...
i see you didn't RTFA
If only the last-mile solution was as dead-nuts reliable as the power grid, then it would never fail... uhmm...
Okay, so maybe we should investigate solutions for last-mile internet serving as backup electricity, and the power grid serving as last-mile for redundancy?
The only thing more dangerous than a file named -rf is renaming it -rf\ /
oh man, a couple of years ago there was a contest on the internet to make creative things out of aol disks. I called up AOL using a number I found deep on their website and asked if I could get a bunch of cds shipped to me. The guy was like: "sure...how many?" I was a little surprised that he actually offered, so I ended up going with a low number of 250. I got a big bag of them in the mail two days later. My friends who were involved in our little project and I realized that we needed at least twice that many cds, so I had one of them call...they called the same number, said the same things I said, and couldn't get more than two cds at a time! Several other friends tried, and they got the same results. I tried again, and the guy would only send me one! I don't know how I did it, but I did get a huge bag of AOL cds (unfortunately, not ones with the dvd cases).
We never did finish (or start) our project, so now I have a big bag of aol cds under my desk at home, and I've been increasing the pile over the last couple years - all my friends send me their cds and neighbors too. The pile is huge, and I've probably got at least 400 now....when I finally make something with them, it's gonna be epic.
The anti-salmon
Yeah you go wardriving and find an open Wifi connection. That always takes care of the essential internet connectivity.
This Article is missing that you can always grab your WLAN enabled Laptop and go War-Driving if your connection is down :)
--
One by one the penguins steal my sanity...
If the net has to go down in order for you to spend time with your spouse, you are sunk anyway, and she's prolly got the divorce papers drawn up, and can't get enough face time with you to get a signature.
it depends, maybe she is getting her kicks on the side and simply milking you for money...
have you really looked at the kids lately...Interetsing how the youngest looks like the pool guy?
maybe you should install hiddent webcams in the house and make money on the internet?
You have your ISP Service Desk on Speed Dial.
.... call the help desk to see what the problem is.
My old ADSL connection had the habit of going down more than i would like. I had it down to a rythem. I would reboot the router, reboot the modem
I thought this was normal until my girlfriend pointed out that the only two numbers i had on my speed dial were her and my ISP
Heh, I know exactly what to do... wait for my SMC Barricade to realize the drop and dial out on the modem fallover line.
Behold the power of technology.
(Yes, I did RTFA, I know it's not serious... but I wanted to brag. ^_^)
if the answer isn't violence, neither is your silence / freedom of expression doesn't make it alright
I'm experiencing an outtage at the moment. I just fired up the XBox/PS2/GameCube and caught up on some games that I hadn't played.
Nice. I hope that it's acceptable to read even while your connection isn't down though....
1. No sig. 2. ???? 3. Profit!!!
RTFA... really... You'll find one more thing to do with an AOL CD.
for the most part, geeks without internet are geeks who suddenly shed their reclusive behaviour and gently stretch, as they crawl out from their stagnant dens of computing supremacy.
Actually, I find that geeks without internet don't change much. They just find non-internet activities to do like single player gaming which just makes them LESS social. At least the internet gives some sort of human interaction.
Simple :-)
Simon.
Physicists get Hadrons!
Look at the pr0n on my harddrive instead of the pr0n on the TGP sites?
Buy Steampunk Clothing Online!
that's what I did. Last week my network connection in my dorm was disconnected for four days. They disconnected it because they claimed we were running a web server. It turns out that their "filtering" software makes PS2 traffic appear as requests for a web server. With two papers due the next week and both requiring some sources from the internet, I had to go to the library. Guess what? You can find relavant information in the library. If I lose my network connection again, I know where I will be going.
..i'd say they're about to find out what to do when it does go..
thetoque.net -and- Slashdot
I can't believe that was actually put on the front page as "news". That's an unbelievably stupid story which goes a long way towards diminishing my trust in mankind.
4 guys living in a dorm together, 2 computer majors, 1 engineering major, and one ag major who was also a geek....
Me: "Net's down..."
Roomie #1: "Yeap..."
Me: "Simpson's?"
Roomie #1: "Yeap..."
I never really saw what the problem was...
...in bed
Down, not Across.
Work!
Perhaps you should have read the article.
Are you kidding? If he did that, he wouldn't get modded "Insightful"!
Stop by my site where I write about ERP systems & more
pray. :)
/. ;)
Jokes aside, the Internet offers a sheer inumerable amount of entertainment value with its dizzying count of leisure activities. When it goes down, and I need a leisure activity to eat up my time, what is there to do?
-TV
Laugh. If socialization to banner ads has taught me anything, its that I can learn to ignore ad placement within content. BUT I CANNOT DEFEND MYSELF AGAINST 16 MINUTES OF DIRECT MARKETING AN HOUR! AHHHH!
-Books
You win that one. The problem is I have read everything I enjoy. And that whole acquisition of new books thing is a bit of work. Just eBook it... oh wait.. nevermind.
-People
Give me a fscking break. This _is_
The subject says it all, really...
-- Have you ever noticed that at trade shows, Microsoft is always the company that is handing out stress balls?
What actually is your project?
--
What short sigs we have -
One hundred and twenty chars!
Too short for haiku.
"Perhaps you should have read the article."
If I did that, I'd slit my own wrists!
I am continually downloading the "internet" to my expensive hitachi array just in case the internet goes down.
GET YOUR WEAPONS READY! --DR.LIGHT
There exists a non-school supported forum for members of the campus community. It's part of a network of sites, called the Daily Jolt. (What geeks do when they're bored) It's really nothing more than a place for all us geeks to hide behind our monitors and bitch anonymously.
When the network gets fritzy, we all try to get to the forum and bitch about how much we hate our Office of Information Technology (OIT) here. If we can't get to the forum, we bitch to someone in person, usually a roommate, until we can vent on the forum. After an outage, the first page of posts is usually all OIT-related.
Wow, in just typing this I realized how sad my life really is.
Where's that AOL CD?
I don't know now. At the time we had a couple of plans going. My plan was simple and useful - I wanted to build a cd holder out of the cds - one that sits vertically on the floor and has slots to hold jewel cases or dvds. However, both of my friends decided the best way to win the contest was to build a scooter (those razor scooter things were cool at the time). We drew up plans on autocad or something and I think we could have made it work (thought the thing would have been extremely heavy...), but we never did it. With all the cds I have now, I'm thinking about building a house.
The anti-salmon
because as of right now, I can't load the page.
Unfair modding at it's best. *sigh*
I have DSL service at home, because it runs over the phone line which does not rely on the same source of power that my house uses, I can stay connected to the internet through power outages. I have my computers, switch and dsl modem plugged into UPS backup power supplies. . . If the power goes out, my network is still online and running.
:-)
Thankfully my internet service provider is rock solid and so is the network they operate on. My remote has had about 30 minutes of down time in the past 2 1/2 years, and it was a scheduled upgrade to the remote.
watch DVDs and/or play my GameCube(tm) and/or get
some food and/or finally get to read the dead-tree
news. easy.
more interessting would be:
"how to handle a blackout?"
...used to handle outages by reading a book.
Best use of AOL disks: coasters for your chilly ice drinks. Sometimes during power outages, I take some ice cubes out of my dark freezer, use them to chill a glass of apple juice from my dark refrigerator, and I sip it all very slowly and comfortably knowing that until the power comes back on, I can have a few moments of freedom from my internet addiction. The sure knowledge that the AOL disk below my glass is protecting my computer desk from certain water damage goes a long way towards calming my frayed nerves. Sometimes I even get contemplative and philosophical in those quiet times before the lights come back on and I'm dragged back into the matrix.
Perhaps you should have read the article.
normally yes, but in this case, trust me - you are much better off not reading the article. That was 10 minutes of my life I'll never get back.
"Because it's there." - George Mallory, when asked why he wanted to climb Mt Everest, March 18, 1923 (New York Times)
Been playing lots of CounterStrike, but the bullet proof vest is at the dry cleaners, so I ain't stepping outside till Mario delivers it to my door. What was that about installing a "single" player thingy?
You get turned down flirting with women? Wow, that's bad. Normally I don't get turned down until I ask them back to my place so I can show 'em how to use a joystick...
Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
Surely you all have dual redundant Internet links? My company has _three_, all through different providers. One is just a simple ADSL.
But sometimes I wish the Net would just vanish and we could return to the good old days of a 9 to 5 job, before these thing called "productivity", "always-on", "emails from other timezones", and of course "unlimited porn", the carrot that makes it all feel worthwile now and then.
Ceci n'est pas une signature
Just watch something on TiVo...you'll still be using Linux!
Bill Clinton: Pimp we can believe in. - The Shirt!!!
Sure enough, last night, my internet connection went out, so I went to go read the article, which I'd thoughtfully bookmarked just in case...
"1. No sig. 2. ???? 3. Profit!!!" (from signature)
Wow, that looks to be as good of a business plan as Caldera has...
Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
.... designing a fail safe internet connection.
Not only is this not very funny (why is it on /.?), I'm willing to bet that the person who submitted it first saw it via bbspot (under 'What Should You Do'). bbspot as a satire/humor site periodically can throw up the clunker of a dumb link, but why is slashdot choosing this as the best of humor/news for nerds on the web?
Whatever. Give credit next time when you see a link on another site and then submit it here.
... Telus customer!
Ba-Da-Dah! Thanks, I'll be here all week.
Remember "Marge vs. Itchy and Scratchy"? When the kids lost the cartoon, they discovered all the wonderful things they could do outside and together...
Being adults, we should be proud of ourselves if we can remember this example and at least keep from sitting in a corner, rocking and drooling.
myke
Mimetics Inc. Twitter
I repeatedly click on the "connect" button until it starts working again?
Diego Rey
diegoT
When the internet is down, i go outside and work in the vegetable garden.
Perhaps you could put them towards a worthy cause.
qntm.org
...used to handle outages by ... you know, because you are.
What's funny is not the story, but the fact that there really are people that are like that. Sad. Just sad.
really, havent we seen enough of this type of "top ten list"? how did it make it to the slashdot home page?
Demonstrates what to do if you want your internet connection to go down.
How in the hell is this a troll ?
iF yOu WAnT to C YOUr iP agaIn gAThEr tWO MilLIon dOLLArS IN Non - cONsEcuTivE TweNtY's AnD AWaiT FuRThER iNstrUctIoN
heh heh. It's funny cause it's true.
obvious, if your internet is down, how can you read the guide on what to do if your internet goes down?
Everybody denies I am a genius--but nobody ever called me one!
When this emergency does occur and dial-up is the only email fix available you'll have probably upgraded your system / reinstalled the OS since the modem was last used and, having lost the floppy years ago, realise that you can't just connect to a website to get the driver. D'oh!
At least now I can get email on my t610.
I have something else you can do with an AOL CD.
The World's Worst Webcomic!
"No one knows when the Internet will fail."
Yes, one day very soon, people everywhere will be unable to connect to the Internet because, of course, the Internet will be down!
The neighbors' wireless network.
Where I live, several of my neighbors seem to abhor the idea of access control on their wireless routers. Interestingly, they all seem to prefer 'default' or 'linksys' for their ssid, too.
That was 10 minutes of my life I'll never get back.
Wow, you read slowly.
blah
Comment removed based on user account deletion
1. Panic!
Ok, I can do that.... now what?
2. Find a telephone.
What do those do? I think you used to order pizza over them before you could get it from the internet...
3. Use your back-up computer.
Ummm, they're all on the same LAN, and the internet is down... how would this help?
4. Install a Game.
Good idea! Ok, installing.... needs a patch via the web... DAMN! Ok, online registration? DAMN! Ah, finally got it installed with no patches... now to find players on the net... DAMN!
5. Perform Routine Maintenance.
Sure, why not? Checking for new security updates... no connection to internet. DAMN!
6. Turn on a television or radio.
Hmmmm, no radio reception because of all the computers. I can watch cable TV though... I have a cable modem, it's down... so is the television! DAMN!
7. Read
Ok. http://slashdot.org/..... nothing there to read, it's still down. DAMN!
8. Go Outside.
I did. The cable is still physically connected to the house, and to the pole. Didn't help.
9. Spend Time with Your Spouse.
I'm supposed to meet here online for a private chatroot with web cam??? DAMN!
10. Use your Emergency AOL Disk
Ok, I put my coffee on it instead of directly on the desktop. Network is still down. What now?
Play video games. Maybe even explore that mysterious region nown as outside. I have even heard that the world does not end beyond the view I get from the window, that in fact it goes beyond the limits of what I can see. I of course do not believe this but you never know...
There's a growing sense that even if The Future comes,
most of us won't be able to afford it.
-- Lemmy
... then curl up in the fetal position in my room and commence thumb sucking
well, you can try frisby but they aren't that good. You could use them to set drinks on but they look ugly so a failed burn is better there, or you could make them be the wheels on your newest robot but they don't get good traction there.
-Tim Louden
9. Spend Time With Your Spouse
...WARNING: These will probably be the longest hours of your life.
Sorry, your spouse is unavailable, for when you've been hooked up to the Internet, I've been hooked up to your wife. You think I'm kidding? You'd be surprised how many wives appreciate a little attention and how much she can get away with right under your nose.
Get liquired up, get some rifles, a good floppy eared hound dog, a few of your survivalist buddies together, and head out in a humvee or a pickup truck with the gun rack loaded up for a cabin in the wilderness. Make sure to also stock up on plenty of liquir on the way out. By the time you run out of liquir (perhaps next day) and head back into town to get more, the crisis should be over, and you can resume a normal internet connected life once more!
48-Hour Internet Outage Plunges Nation Into Productivity
(a mirror, since theonion.com didn't archive it)
which has HUGE battery banks and redundant power supplies to keep things up and running if the power company craps out. That's why non-cordless phones still work in a blackout.
CATV systems rely on utility power to run all the line amplifiers and associated equipment on the poles. When the grid takes a dump, the cable company is dead in the water.
A friend of mine lost his 2 Mbit ADSL connection a couple of days ago due to a fuck-up at the ISP (they had some fantasy that he hadn't paid the last bill). His connection won't be back before monday. This guy is a complete internet addict, even though he doesn't read Slashdot. I'll be sure to send him the link on ICQ.
Or maybe I'll just print it.
The webmasters can read the local copy of the article, while waiting for their bandwith usage to get below 100%. 'Cause nobody going to be doing any surfing from that connection for the next couple of hours.
There are 01 kinds of cars in the world. The General Lee, and everything else.
Most retarded post, ever.
</comic book guy>
RTFA...incredible waste of my time. Dated jokes that weren't funny when they were written - note reference to SimCity and Flight Simluator, two games that were very cool about 5 years ago.
As a backup solution we always have a dial-up connection ready ... Coupled with scripts which automate the switch from Cable Dial-Up Internet Access, the perfect solution to still have at least communication going at all times.
If you own a dremel, and most nerds should, the large sanding drum bit is the exact size of the center hole of a cd. DISCLAMER: i will not be responsible for death and/or maiming, wear saftey goggles!!! Depending on your model, you can rev it up ienough that the cd will explode in a shower of plastic and foil. Its best to hold the cd paralell to yourself as it explodes outward in the direction its spinning. I have a cordless model that only goes up to 10k RPMs, but with a lttle practice you can shake the CD off the bit while its spinning and te cd will peel out and shoot off along the ground. The force these move with is incredible, i had one shoot down the hall and explode when it impacted the radiator, a good sized chunk flew striaght back, cut my pants and my knee. Good times...
"Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus Rex."
pr0n on my harddrive
No way. I want FRESH pr0n.
Otherwise my hard drive gets all sticky.
- - - - - - - - - - -
I am a programmer. I am paid to produce syntax not grammar. Deal with it.
This is why my boss asked me to download a backup copy of the internet for him!
~insert tech sarcasm here~
2. Find A Telephone
:)
Do you have access to a telephone line?
Great... glad I dumped my landline for Vonage
philcrissman.com.
Get Earthlink, and win those auctions! And don't use KDE, either!
wardrive around your apartment until you can get on some random neighbor's open 802.11 network...
Oh, god, NO!
I hate technical support! It's the most miserable time of my day, every day!
Why? I'M the guy you'll be calling!
Oh, the humanity! Not again! Please, please, please, let the NT4 server not crash again! Please!
tasks(723) drafts(105) languages(484) examples(29106)
when net goes out: 1. fire up xterm, or cmd window (depending on which box i'm on), ping google, if response: :)
2. if no ping reply, ping router, if no reply, reboot router, if reply...
3. fire up SSH to router, ping isp dns, google. if reply, check other lan settings for failure, if not...
4. reboot modem (power down for 90s, power down router (modem is picky) if solution doesn't work:
5. open MPC, play Xvid movies til net comes back.
in the event of power failure, all workstation consoles are deactivated and the router and servers left to feed off what remains of the UPS supply, at that point, it matters little if the net is still active.
Logistical Chaos Officer http://www.slagg.org - LAN Gaming in Sarasota FL,USA
i thought it was +5 funny. Especially the part about slitting your wrist with AOL CD's.
whats a TGP site?
or is one of thoes freak fetish things?
The More Knowledge you have the Luckier you Get- J.R. Ewing
Heh, heh. Acting like you don't know. That is so funny.
Last time I've had an awful 3 weeks internet downtime, and since it seems I've survived I feel right to share my experience with other people who may face the same danger.
At first, when I saw that the connection went down and didn't return in a couple of minutes, I've panicked, then called tech assistance and waited for the presumed end of the (known and probably caused by ill weater) problems.
When, a couple days later, they told me that all problems had been solved and my connection still didn't work I've spend the remaining time doing the following things:
When I had almost finished the last thing the connection did return, but with an amazing feat of will I did manage to complete the set, and even playing a match or two :)
I live on a college campus with a high number of geeks. Last year when Slammer first reared its head, it brought our network to it's knees. We couldn't even do anything on the local LAN, much less get out to the Internet. It was so strange, because everyone came out of their dorm rooms and seemed bored that evening.
Use the backup.
You have a firewall or other setup that lets you switch to a backup at most at the push of a button, right?
If not, you deserve those AOL disks.
Speaking of the Simpsons, this reminded me of one of my favorite moments from the show.
TV anchorman announces that the station will go off the air and says not to panic, but warns, "Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation has left your genitals withered and useless." Chief wiggum looks at himself under the covers and bemusedly says "Well, I'll be damned."
Always liked that one.
Thumbnail gallery post or thumbnail gallery page
Have a stash of survival materials in the event of outage. Porn DVD's and stroke mags.
For example, I worked at a job where we waited for 3 weeks before the T1 was in place. In the meantime, I used a dial-up AOL account, networked all the machines using a small hub, and ran proxy software off of the machine conected to AOL.
An early post that mentions goatse.cx and is modded up to +5! You, sir, are a god among ants.
My internet line went down yesterday, will not be back up again until next week (upgrading from ADSL to VDSL, lame ass ISP, disconnecting the old service before sending me a new modem). Posting this at work.
I am experiencing fear, loneliness and boredom. Will probably experience stress tonight, if I try hooking up the old POTS modem...
There are 010 kinds of people. Those who understand octal, those who don't, and 06 other kinds of morons.
Did they come up with this all by themselves? I've NEVER seen anything like this before. How original!
Prepaid internet cards, like prepaid phone cards, can be used while travelling or in an emergency. A search on Google garnered a large number of hits. Many have nationwide local dialup numbers. Be sure to pick one that can't expire before the first time you use it and which has a long expiration time afterward.
...their web page has been /.'ed
I hope they are following their own instructions!
I have no sig yet I must scream.
1. Power Cycle your cable modem 2. Restart your computer 3. if that doesn't work call your ISP's tech support 4. Listen to the pre recorded message saying there are no known network problems. 5. Wait 6. wait 7. by the time you reach tech support, do the 'Broadband Dance', your internet connection should be back up Broadband Dance - first tier tech support telling you to power cycle your modem, clear your internet cache, restart your machine, asking you how much RAM you have, blah blah blah.
This is great stuff... I bookmarked it for when I need it later!
Joke doesn't make sense.
On a slightly more serious level, I've had cable for several years, and other than obnoxious TOS am reasonably happy with it.
But sometimes it goes down, and sometimes I travel out of towm.
I'd really like to have dialup capability for travel and emergencies, but have NO desire to pay a monthly fee for it. (My cable ISP has dialup, but that's separate from the cable access.)
Anyone have a reccomendation for a pay-as-you use dialup that has decent access even in the Economic Backwater (and usually like it that way) of Vermont?
The living have better things to do than to continue hating the dead.
I see *you* didn't use the TPS report.
My routine is more like UP key + Enter (with "adsl-start" as the line being repeated).
The Linux box that acts as my router is configured to automatically bring up a dialup connection if packets stop flowing over the DSL. Of course, my dialup provider is the same as my DSL provider, so it's certainly possible that both could go out at once, but it hasn't happened yet. They don't seem to be able to keep the DSL up as reliably for some reason.
Anyway, every few months or so I'll notice that my network connection is slow, and when I check the router I notice that ppp0 is up. The most common way that I notice DSL outages (which seem to happen every other month or so) is when my cellphone rings. My office phone is set up to automatically forward to my home office and then to my cell (if I don't pick up the home office line), so I notice the DSL outage by observing that my cell phone rings first, since the phone line is tied up by the dialup connection.
Note to ACs: I usually delete AC replies without reading them. If you want to talk to me, log in.
You are a liar. /. readers have no girlfriends.
If the refrigerator is working, and the TV is working, and the Internet is not, it's time to pull out those Simpsons DVDs, crack open a Duff or two, and get to drinkin'!
This is not my sandwich.
Couldn't do it all day though
11. PROFIT !!!
Oh, wait....
nobody's blaming microsoft or bill gates in general? wow, must be flu season & people aren't thinking.
...because I'm down right now. Btw, what time is it?
Consequences ensue.
Ahh THe old question of Heredity vs Environment. Don't you know that if the kid looks like you it Heredity, and if the Kidd looks like the Pool Guy,its Environment?
If I lose my internet connectivity at home, I merely switch my activities to improving my LAN; I write code, I do remote sysadmin work on my daughter's linux box (i.e. snooping the logs for questionable activity :) ), and I write.
Since initiating DSL service over 3 years ago - I have never had a complete outage as a result of the service provider:
Outages - several which have all turned out to be my Linksys router locking up or the crappy job I did crimping the RJ45 connectors onto the Cat5 cable...(I bought the wrong connectors for the type of cable sheathing I have).
Routing - Telco blocked a route to a particular (large) subnet; I provided the content of a traceroute which identified the name of the box in question for the technical support engineer, and it was corrected within an hour.
I haven't used a modem in 3 years.
Lodragan Draoidh
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. - Mark Twain
Dude, that really sucks. That does seem like a major bug...
There are several bad ideas in this list. Calling 911 and slashing my wrists won't help!
One of my favorite jokes:
Q. What has two teeth and six tits?
A. The night staff at the Waffle House
My internet connection's down at the moment.
The phone system almost never dies, while power outages are common here in Key West. If I'm watching TV when the power goes out, I just go and reload slashdot until cable comes back up.
That's good for two hours, minimum.
and slash it across your wrist
Down, not across.
We KNOW what to do when an internet connection goes down. What takes us totally off guard is when our girlfriend goes down!
The Onion-America's Finest News Source recently covered this topic. It was discovered that there was a huge surge in office productivity during the Internet outage triggered by the Detroit to NYC blackout a few months ago.
On second thought, it sounds like not enough people had a contingency plan and were left with nothing to do but work. Better to have that contingency plan...
In principio erat Verbum.
"Take the [AOL] CD in one hand...and slash it across your wrist! Suicide will probably be a better alternative than connecting to that service."
Terrible advice here!
As every good systems admin knows, it's "down, not across."
"People who do stupid things with hazardous materials often die." -- Jim Davidson on alt.folklore.urban
I sort my porn... now is that bukkake or just peter north? whoa peter!
make it count!
If I had time, I would steal the image and change the razorblade to an AOL CD...but since my internet connection is UP right now...
Denver Isuzu Suzuki
Usually when the internet goes out, I take my handgun and go play Quake outside with the neighborhood kids. I am very good at it because my trackball mouse is shaped like a revolver.
Buckle your ROFL belt, we're in for some LOLs.
My apple IIe wont connect to roadrunner! Im not going to leave you alone till my appleIIe gets a connection! And my commadore 64 needs to be on there too! And if you say anything i dont like ill complain to your manager!
You might tear up your carpet trying to do that..
Take the CD in one hand...and slash it across your wrist! Suicide will probably be a better alternative than connecting to that service.
Hey! It's along the lane, not across the road, kids!
Which number was first on the speed-dial, hers, or the ISP.
I don't have my ISP on speed-dial, but I am quick on the draw to call them if something goes funky... kind of a necessity when one runs servers though.
i think, sometimes, that the key to reading slashdot is knowing when to read at +3 and when to read at -1. this, for instance, is entirely enjoyable at -1. geekdom is hanging out at -1, no-holds-barred. really, surfing at +5, as i am in the bad habit of late, can be depressing sometimes. i think slashdot should move toward a system that tracks my changes to the threshold comment scores and display future stories based on my past prefs. and imagine the bitching over the system! more perpetuated wither slashdot hand-wringing, it would be great. anyway, palmela handerson, /. can be funny.
for (;;) {
if (Internet.Up()) break;
bed.sleep(3600);
}
And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream.
There's no place like ~/
I second that.
What?!?!
"Down, Not across!"
It is a well known fact that if you slash "across" your wrist in attempted suicide you will not die. One must slash parallel to their blood vessels and not across otherwise the vessels will clot and close up and the end goal of death with not be achieved. With the across technique all that will be achieved is a brief loss of consciousness due to blood loss, but as soon as the vessels close up the body will recover.
Very ineffective.
Materials Required:
Instructions:
Hours of fun, as I'm sure you can imagine.
I switch numbers.
one advantage of dialup.
if one number goes down.. just switch to another, that and my isp is pretty stable.
and if all fails.. I just do some misc. work or play a game, or go outside!
What I want to know is what was the phone number? (I have some...uses for mass quantities of CDs)
And just to clarify, thumbnails aren't a fetish, they're just scaled-down version of pictures for preview.
I didn't RTFA of course, but I'm going to guess what it tells me to do: Take one AOL disk, sharpen. Open your window, throw disk at random person. Repeat. I've been doing that for years...
"73% of quotes on the Internet are made up" -Ben Franklin
We should try taking down the net for a few days, and see if we get a baby boom 9 months later. I bet we would.
WARNING: there is a trojan on your
Go to WalMart (or any place that has those big displays with free AOL cds) and just grab as many as you can hold.
I do this every so often just to see the look on the security guys face. He looks like he wants to stop me sooo bad, but can't think of any reason why he should. They are free after all.
There are endless uses for those things. I use them mostly as coasters and for throwing at people.
you're all figments of my deranged imagination
The last time my connection went, I went to bed. Then I got up every 4 hours to check if my connection had come back. I missed 3 days of work.
"Hello? Is that AOL? I am phoning on behalf of Crappyshite College, we want to offer our students an on-line connection. Could you send a quantity of CD's? How many? Oo, well we have 500 students at the moment.."
"You lied to me! There is a Swansea!"
That's what I had my friends do...actually, they claimed they were sending out a mailing and wanted to include cds, but they said it was against policy or something. Meanwhile, I didn't have to come up with any fake story - they just asked how many.
The anti-salmon
Man, isn't that redundant?
...we are from the government - we are here to help...
Remember the movie Airplane!? "Alright everyone, assume crash positions!"
Because there is no choice for -1, Fuckhead
An early post that mentions goatse.cx and is modded up to +5! You, sir, are a god among ants.
I think the difference here is that the parent poster wasn't trying to trick people into going to that site, rather just providing the address. Big difference.
Seriously, my connection never goes down. And if it does, its usually because my modem has to resync (someone working on line, or maybe line errors, not sure exactly).. but it will resync in about 30 seconds. If it ever goes down for longer than that, its usually a backbone that is going down, and is usually at 3AM. Even then it comes back up within a minute or two at the most. My service is through PacBell (SBC) and I have had my service since they started offering it in my area (around '98). About 3 years ago I even tried to order cable modem service (while keeping my DSL active) through Comcast (AT&T for awhile) and the service would go down for 5 minutes at a time, numerous times a day. Granted, they might have been working out kinks in their system, the service still sucked and wasn't worth the 40/mo I was paying. In my personal opinion, DSL is much more stable than cable modem service is, atleast in California.
"Over/Underrated" - The lamest mod choices ever. If you think a comment needs moderation, you better have a reason.
Standard Operating Procedure is to sit in the corner and whimper.
-- INTX Grouch. http://www.midnightblue.net
nice coming from someone who doesn't even have the balls to create an account or be bothered to login.. i guess Anonymous Coward is a good description huh ?
iF yOu WAnT to C YOUr iP agaIn gAThEr tWO MilLIon dOLLArS IN Non - cONsEcuTivE TweNtY's AnD AWaiT FuRThER iNstrUctIoN
How robust is the last mile connection to our homes?When there is a calamity i.e. when we might depend on the internet most what is the likelihood of its going down? if there is a hurricane or an earthquake or flooding is it likely to be of any use?what might be done to raise it to the usefulness of say ham radios in emergencies.
Wanted : A Signature.
Man, I knew Canadians didn't have a sense of humor, but I didn't realize that it was that bad. I've read funnier things in a Dave Barry column.
mod parent up!! it isn't offtopic at all!! what the hell is wrong with all of you??
there goes what little karma I had....fuck it
P226
What I do when the internet goes down, Call over some friends and play Dungeons and Dragons, you still get the same geeky feel.
+-+-+-The folowing statement is true. The previous statement is false.-+-+-+
Dam' AOL disk didn't work. Any suggestions?
oregonnerd...a nerd in Oregon, of course
Your table is now protected while you fritter away the hours doing the only thing that will prevent complete and total nervous breakdown while your net connection is severed -- Heavy drinking.
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You are what you think.