Slashdot Mirror
AskJeeves Interview
laborit writes "FNwire has posted an interview with Jeeves of ask.com. Evidently that "unique natural language engine with a proprietary knowledgebase isn't too great for questions like "bees? I don't understand." " Check out the archived pdf of this for more information.
61V3 Me W4R3Z D00d!!!#$%^#@@!!
0R
G1V3 m3 pR0n!!1!!!!
WH@T G00D IZ IT?1!11!!!^^@#@@##@ W3 N33D 4SKB1FF.C0m!!!!!!!
It all part of a plot to move on to a world where the rich will have access to _truly_ intelligent info-servants, i.e., actual people to do their research for them, while the rest of us will be denied the most effective means that we already have (i.e. librarians) to locate crucial information for our social struggle.
Yes, librarians will be fired, and replaced by "smart agents", "scientifically proven" to help us find any information we want more efficiently than ever. Since it just won't work, the rules expect the workers to just give up and accept their commodification.
And Babelfish is for translators what Ask Jeeves is for librarians. Need something translated into some language, so those poor brown guys can read it? Of course you're not going to give the job to someone who speaks both English and Brownish well-- you're going to give it to a computer program. That way you make sure the brown guys don't share in the wealth that they produce for you, and still keep the façade that you give them stuff!!!
okokokokok... fine, consider this trolling, but I find it darn funny, ask jeeves the following question:
"Are you gay?"
and see what he says...
but then again, I suppose I'm just one of the few who get a kick out of pissing around in virtual-sex lives...
hmm... I guess I should take a break from this computer of mine.
-goon(ty)
I work at Jeeves, so I have some insight. At the peek page, they are what people are picking. the reason you get multiple questions that appear almost the same, it is because somebody clicked on multiple questions (very common). That is also why there is also no mispellings.
There is a peek page that we can look at internally (the actual, uncensored type user queries... they are funny... a good look at the perverts on the net).
Me: Jeeves, can you imagine a Beowulf cluster of yourself?
Jeeves: 10 matches by About.com, Why bother with beowulf? - Medieval History.
There you have it. Why bother?
I saw this posted on a few dozen search engines around the date the article actually came out. Just thought I would share that. Maybe if you read weblogs, that might be were you guys have seen it before. Interesting how Slashdot not long is very fast at posting up to date news, and when they do alot of boring crap no one cares about. I remember when it first became Slashdot after Chips and Bits that I would actually read every post and every comment throughout a day. Because they were all interesting!! Now I dont even read completely throught the summaries on the main page because alot of the articles are complete crap. Like, "Ask Slashdot: On DDoS, SPAM, Telemarketing And Harrasment?" What kinda junk is that? That has been discussed on slashdot have a dozen times before. Its generic boring news that belongs on a uninformative incorrect CNN.com article or something. Processor Reviews and Water Cooled Laptops deserve there own post? Granted, thats some cool stuff, but If I wanted to read about power user stuff like overclocking and processor reviews I would head over to Toms Hardware guide. Its generic news that everyone and there grandmas dog is carrying. Bring bang the interesting and unique content.
And all this after they were bought out for a few million, and then Va Linux essential payed another billion for Slashdot. Cause really, sure there is Freshmeat and the other sites on Andover.net, but Slashdot is the bulk of all there visits. Even if they do visit other sites, they also visit slashdot. So Slashdot was basically bought out for a billion dollars. Use that money to make a better site. In fact, I havent seen the money change anything at slashdot. No inprovement, no new features, nothing. Update, or become like Yahoo.
I dont mean to say bad things about slashdot. I general like it, and always have. I just think it has declined quality wise in the last year. Hope it gets better not worse.
Jeff Knox
Sheesh!
I could not justify my existence if I were a turkey farmer. Would I terminate myself? Undoubtably, yes.
A funny interview, nevertheless....
I could not justify my existence if I were a turkey farmer. Would I terminate myself? Undoubtably, yes.
The bottom line is that SlashDot is still rob malda's playground (which he's still entitled to since he's the editor in chief) but it would be nice if he and the rest of his friends were a little more honest about it...
There was a funny article in Salon a few months ago about how, according to the marketing gurus that took over the company, AskJeeves did not, and never had referred, to the fictional character of Jeeves in P.G. Wodehouse's series of stories.
After reading the story I entered the question "Who is Bertie Wooster" into ask.com and got back a link to the allegedly non-Wodehouse Jeeves. Fah.
Now the link is gone. Apparently they've adjusted the intra-axonal variances on their advanced AI web interface, and now Jeeves the Butler is officially not Jeeves the Butler of P.G. Wodehouse fame. Still, for at least a brief period, Artificial Intelligence was actually more accurate than the real kind.
---- "If we have to go on with these damned quantum jumps, then I'm sorry that I ever got involved" - Erwin Schrodinger
There's too much similarity for a sampling (I saw at least 5 "Where can I find a concise encyclopedia article on xxxxxx?" questions in two reloads).
Plus, none of the questions have any misspellings at all.
Hokey statistics and ancient misconceptions are no match for a good thought in your head, kid!
Hey, that was almost a straight response. Hope you didn't blow a circuit.
Uncle Bobby's Finally Sober
Probably because you have his stash. But maybe I'm being insensitive. Maybe you really do have a problem.
That was absolutely hilarious.
-- Give him Head? Be a Beacon?
-- Give him Head? Be a Beacon? :P)
(If you can't figure out how to E-Mail me, Don't.
ha ha ha, this is great. I'm glad I have a cable modem. I'd hate to have to wait out everystep on my old 33.6k. Especially when you get to the making burgers part (and when you dream about the burgers too) --nick
"However," replied the universe, "The fact has not created in me A sense of obligation."
No, a brown guy. Like, jawad.
It contains an amino acid that hits the let's-go-to-sleep center of your brain.
That's why bodybuilders often have turkey breast for late night snacks.
********* sig: If you don't like the law, get filthy stinking rich, and buy a better one.
I did. After a day of making burgers and 5 overtimes.
"Today sucked."
Do you ever get tired of answering questions?
Why does turkey make people sleepy?
Hmm...
We know it doesn't pass the turning test.
Has anyone had the courage to commit something to
the diary? I opted out, seeing as how the page's
source had it going to a real-enough-looking email
address.
I had one of those.. my dad paid like $350 for it (Australian Dollars), then soundcards dropped to like $100 after they got popular, now the 'good' ones are $350 again. Isn't technology grand? :) Same thing has happened with Graphics Cards.
I tried to get Ask Jeeves to say something funny about this, but I couldn't. :(
try this, it's completely uncensored...
this is just a placeholder till i send back my real sig from the future.
Nice Palm VII review :)
--
+&x
blah, blah, blah.
Around 5 years ago, I interviewed Eliza about Eliza on an apple II after painfully typing in the code. I am sure, tons of people have done this, don't feel bad.
Wazzzzup!!!!
------ Curiosity killed the cat. {satisfaction brought it back | it didn't die ignorant | lack of it is killing mankind
Can you imagine a Beowulf cluster of these?
can't forget this one: what is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow? :-)
--- this comment is presented in WIDE SCREEN STEREO!!!
However, as an info help function on a e-com website, say, you really can't beat the answer/pair replies.
I have found Ask Jeeves pretty useless. I type in a question and I get a bunch of links unrelated. A waste of time IMHO, and especially for sites that use AJ as their info help concierge.
The only Good System is a Sound System
I use Google, it works so well it's creepy.
I have tried Ask Jeeves a number of times, and each time I am amazed at how completely useless
it is. It gives answers that are so bad it is insulting. It's almost like it is laughing at
you for being suckered into wasting your
time formulating a query, and increasing their bottom line at the same time.
Did the idiots who hiked the stock price on this
company so high ever try it themselves, or were
they sold by the stupid TV ad's for the company.
Heh.
I remember this. A friend and I were feeding it some problems we were making up. When we said:
"My wife thinks my penis is too small."
It said:
"What about the inlaws."
Also, you could get it to say something by typing SAY and then the phrase. Which lead to this:
us: say Can I fsck you?
Dr: Can I fsck you?
us: no
Dr: Why not?
we just cracked up.
Keep in mind we were only 15 or so.
42?
--------
"I already have all the latest software."
There is a 'remove frames' button people can push to see your site without Ask Jeeves on top. Frankly, I doubt that anyone will get confused as to who owns what site. I would just calm down a little and realize that Ask Jeeves is merely loading your site into a frameset.
Actually its not really a pumped up eliza. I wrote an eliza program back in an AI class a number of years ago, in LISP. It had the basic eliza elements, it could convert persons, so it could repeat back what you just said as a question. It kept track of keywords so it could ask for more about them, and come back to a previous subject after discussing something else for a while (this always suprises people). And of course, the necessary "punt" when you just couldn't understand the statement so it says something nonsensical and avoids the question. Basically Jeeves doesn't have any of these features, which depend upon a flow of conversation, which Jeeves has no need of. It simply picks keywords from your sentence using some sort of natural language algorithm (that obviously isn't terribly effective) and provides standard search engine results for them, unless you happen to ask something which it has a built in response too, or points you to a category or something.
:-)
Basically I've found Ask Jeeves to be essentially worthless when compared with other search engines, it has a long way to go before it can answer natural language questions. But it sure is fun to ask silly questions to see what whacky response youg get
Spyky
You can always kill external frames on your website with some javascript. I know its not ideal, but it hardly seems worth the trouble too sue them, and as other posters have pointed out, deep linking is legal, and its not like they've skipped an outer frame that identifies what site it is, or the copyright information. If you don't like their ads appearing on the top, which I can understand, just remove their frame, forcing them to link directly or not at all.
Spyky
...
There are 11 types of people in the world: those who understand unary, and those who don't.
The brilliant brains behind TheSpark.com have brought out AskJesus, a parrody of AskJeves. What the site does is a tad hard to explain.. just take a look at this thread, AskJesusified! I laughed my ass off =)
,-----.----...---..--..-....-
' CitizenC
' WebMaster, PlanetQ3F
`-----.----...---..--..-....-
I have never gotten a useful answer out of idiot Jeeves. He is a complete retard. How the company can be valued at one billion is incomprehensible. And it was at nine billion in november!!
I feel better now.
How about a slashdot interview with Jeeves? I bet it would be much more logically, insightful, and interesting than one with Jon Katz. No, it's not rough, check out the answer Jeeves gave me . . .
Who's the friendliest bear around? Guess who? It's pooh. Now look at that - pure insight. Non of this pinko stuff, none of this "from hellmouth", pure insight. Pooh!
"Lazyness is the first step towards efficiency." -Patrick Bennett
Christ, I have a new personal hero. I read your post, thought it was amusing and decided for the hell of it to click on User Info. My God, you actually did it. I couldn't stop laughing! Keep it up! :-)
That was the 2nd site in 2 days with that same problem, and both were NT4-IIS.
Methinks I would recommend the market leader, Apache
Actually, Jeeves doesn't really remind me of Dr. Sbaitso, a program for which I have a certain amount of nostalgia. If I recall, Dr. Sbaitso took a longer time to become useless, because it really didn't try to give an interactive conversation. "You're having problems with your parents? That's very interesting, tell me more about it". This is in line with it being (ostensibly) a shrink program, so it was good at drawing out the user by expanding on conversational cues, without providing a whole lot of actual commentary. As a result, its confusion became aparent after a while, but wasn't nearly as entertaining.
---- I'm going to lead you kicking and screaming, giggling and laughing into the future.
After clicking on the link above - click on the top "Ask" button .
this has to be an inside programmer's joke.
Did you ever type a really large number into Dr. Sbaitso (with his echoing of what you type turned on obviously) and hear him go on and on about nonillion etc.... very interesting, someone had some time on their hands to break down large numbers phonetically.
Just try getting Jeeves to cough up that info from a simple number input.
Wheeeee
I'm confused... what do you refer to when you say "these"??? What would a beowulf help you with here? Are you trying to ask every possibly question to Jeeves for some reason? If that's the case I think there's a deeper question you need to ask yourself.
Wheeeee
I never had much faith the good people behind Ask Jeeves, that is until I noticed their great new "answer point" service. Its really unique and actually an idea I (as well as countless others) have had for ages. An absolute necesity for the net, kudos to them! What I of course have to wonder is how long until competition arrives, is there any out there yet? FIRST POST :P
In the commercials, some person is asking a man dressed up as a butler question after question in the format, "Jeeves, how do I tie my shoes?", "Jeeves, what is a pencil?", "Jeeves, what is 1+1?", etc.
So it would be expected that entering a question using the same format would yeild some expected results.
On the contrary, every result pertained to "What is Ask Jeeves?" or "How do I use Ask Jeeves?"
Then again, who uses AskJeeves anyway...
www.google.com
ZEN is a prime number in base-36
Crap!
(It used to be real. I swear!)
--
NetInfo connection failed for server 127.0.0.1/local
Yes, it is just a sampling, but I don't think it's a filtered sampling.
--
NetInfo connection failed for server 127.0.0.1/local
Phhht. Interesting how you suddenly started posting with this story. User number 176528 huh?
Ok, quickly now: What direction does the student center's doors face, where most students exit to get to a bus? In winter when you approach those doors, from your arts course, what is the last thing you likely 'rode'? In what direction does it run? From where? What is the big green space called? What is the number of the basic Chemistry course that all first years take? What was the name of the building it was taken in (no longer in existence)? What river runs by the U? What is between the South side of the U and the River? How many times in the last 15+ years has the Football team won the 'whole meatball'? What is the thing that I am referring to as the 'whole meatball'?
*** U of S Slashdot Forum ***
Anyways 'Garnet', if in fact that is your real name, here is the contents of my failed 'post' operation:
"SimulatorJournal=Bwaaaaaha+ha+ha+ha+ha+%21%21%21% 21%21%21%21%21%21%21%21%21%21++This+is+t he+funniest+most+in+depth+thing+I%27ve+seen+on+the +net+in+AGES%21%21%21"
If you aren't he, this'll be here for posterity in case he discovers it some day.
BTW: How does one find out what the current 'max-user-number' is? I don't want to have to go and create a junk account just to find this out... that would sort of skew the results :)
Hey! This was done at the UofS! I went there! Interesting how this was done years ago and supposedly received wide acclaim (if you go to the end and read the 'about' page or whatever...), I usually come across stuff like this sooner than this...
I asked Jeeves
"What is the status of the AE-35 unit"
The first option was :
"How can I check to see if a flight is on time?"
Somehow that almost seems right.
I remember writing one of those in my programming class back in 9th grade. Written in Scheme, EdScheme actually, on a mac.
-palp
Oh well..all in all, its a decent site =) keep up the good work, but hey, some credit might be cool.. *shrug* --jay
Not that im bitter, but i posted this story a few weeks ago, and it got declined. *shakes head* heheh.. oh well, i glad someone else found it funny =) its really quite amusing --jay
Alice: What can I call you? .?
Jeeves: You Can Call Me Willy
A: OK I will call you Willy.
J: Willy Porter
A: "OK I will call you Willy"? willy porter?
J: Where can I find a step-by-step guide to preparing a will?
A: I would suggest a search. Would you like to know more?
J: We'd like to know more about you!
A: By "we" do you mean you and me?
J: The Golden Mean
A: Is that a fact.
J: What is FACT?
A: It is a good question. Have you tried www.whatis.com? I can ask someone about it.
J: Who am I?
A: You are Willy, seeker.
J: The Seeker, Reuniting America!
A: I have never heard about it.
J: Have you heard the one about. .
A: No. Tell me more.
J: I Love to Tell the Story
A: You love to tell the story. What do you like about it so much?
J: Every life has a story to tell
A: That is a generalization.
J: What is generalization?
A: The act or process of gerneralizing.
J: Caught - In - The - Act
A: I hope it is not contagious. Also I hope you get well soon.
J: Smile! It's Contagious!
What are you going to do when the seed cash runs out and ask.com goes belly-up like the other internet "companies"?
It's rare that you're presented with a knob whose only two positions are Make History and Flee Your Glorious Destiny.
If you are at all interested in Natural Language. You should check out neuromedia.com It's equivalent of ask jeeves, but it blows it away in it's conversational skills. I especially enjoyed asking it what the meaning of life was.
Jeeves, what is $1.50 multiplied by 3?
You may want to take asprin.
Jeeves, how many woman have you raped?
3 woman found raped. cyberscandel suspected.
SmartFilter tells me that the answer is "blocked due to SEX". Jeeves and his evil twin? Together?
My brother-ion-law's brother paid to have his page indexed. We believe that this was Altavista.ca. We reached that conclusion because this was where we found him. we coudln't find him in yahoo.ca, yahoo.com, altavista.com, or any of the engines metasearched by Jeeves. We also found him in NorthernLight, but the brother was fairly sure this wasn't the one his brother had paid. The page wasn't in Google.
So, are the engines taking bribes to index pages before they would otherwise find them? Or did the brother get ripped off by a consultant that would just submit the page to a free service?
I have commented on technical flaws, and offered advice for future changes. All of my emails to Jeeves have been answered.
Wasnt there a submission about this on slashdot about two weeks ago? (sorry, cant be bothered to search for it.)I know Ive seen it mentioned before somewhere like this. Actually I think youre too hard on the poor engine, the conversation did seem to make sense to a point, there seems to be more than just keyword matching going on (or else they tried the test about twenty times and published the funny one).
I asked Jeeves that question and judging by the answer/questions I'd bet Emacs:
Where can I find help with Emacs?
Where can I find information about Emacs?
Where can I download the Web browser Emacs?
Where can I find FAQs on Emacs implementations?
--
Some people have a way with words, and some people, um, thingy.
Try robbing Eliza at gun point.
I had great fun with this at the Computer Museum in Boston. They have Eliza running on a machine there.
It tried to analyze me and I tried to take it's wallet. Was definitely not the least coherent conversation I had that day and the only one with a computer.
--
Some people have a way with words, and some people, um, thingy.
I have to agree, If the developers put this in the database, it was meant to be seen and laughed at. And yes it was funny. I think that someone has strong feelings against people using the word "gay", most likly because they're still not out of the closet. But back to what I was originaly saying, That post was both funny and insightful and I think that the moderator of that post should not be allowed to do it any more. But of course this is just my opinion...
Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative
Sorry, this was supposed to be one level higher and was written befor it was moderated as funny. Once again sorry
Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative
try askin mr. Jeeves any quiestion that's sex related, like "Where can I get sex in Denmark?" and he'll giv maps of Denmark, where the tourist offices are etc... gives a strange view of this country.
Or, you can press the "Remove Frames" button at the top.
What is very misleading, however, is this (albeit) funny link. When I first clicked on it, I thought it was great, and that it was a fun trick by the AskJeeves staff. However, since the link begins in the middle of an art project, you never see any credits until you get to the end (and it is a long series of documents..)
Is that fair? They're not really giving credit to Garnet Hertz (the author) anywhere, and the ask.com frame at the top seems as if they're (perhaps inadvertantly) taking credit for it..
For confirmation, here's the link to the question yourself, or, better yet, the reply, Ask Jesusfied!
Need something translated into some language, so those poor brown guys can read it?
Brown guys? You mean Jawas?
Of course you're not going to give the job to someone who speaks both English and Brownish well
I want to learn Brownish. Can you point me in the right direction? Jeeves was no help, and neither was Google. Babel Fish doesn't support it.
Will I retire or break 10K?
Not really. I have 500 feet of cat5, and crimp my own cable for the home network.
You should never, never doubt what nobody is sure about.
You quitting proves that the karma kap worked. The most annoying of the whores shut up. --CmdrTaco
Hey I think that Jeeves is a great idea... but needs another engine... if i ask "Why Bill Gates is Planning to Conquer the World?" then i receive a lot of sucking answers...
But anyways... i think that some people that are no geek, cool, l33t, and other shitz, can search easily the web... without complex bolean searchs..
Think Different Think Slashdot!
---- EoF
At my local ISP one kid has the unfortunate habit of telling people to reinstall windows.
Beware of smelling pistakes.
M.
i'd rather see amy chow than your homepage but thats just me, and no i am not jeeves
Where can I learn how to install floor tiles in my home?
then
What does the computing term DTE mean?
and other reasonable questions, it seems better than some of the other search engine peek pages i have seen where u get stuff like "man f*** cow"
And incidentally, there is a musical comedy about Jeeves, entitled By Jeeves.
LOL
That's great! Im calling Pinkerton right now
What was that 800 #?
xasper8
Instead of raising your voice, try strengthening your argument.
I just have to say that I haven't laughed this hard in a fair while. I'm surprised that more people didn't find this one funny.
-James
In a similar vein:
"microsoft sucks my ass"
I'm Feeling Lucky - and bingo, the Internet Explorer homepage..
The Unfettered Mind: Takuan Sôhô - ISBN: 0-87011-851-X
My contact details
henry [ w i r e t r a p . n e t ]
It recently came to our attention that you illegally reverse engineer our unique technology solve-all-the-problem-of-the-world-but-cannot-resp ond-any-question-corectly contained wherein our "search engine" Jeeves.
We ask you, x1r0k3wl, to cease this immediately and to publish a retractation to the article you posted at the address http://www.people.virginia.edu/~msf9c/features/jee ves.html .
You may use our unique technology but you may not put many responses together, this would be breaking our secure encryption scheme that prevent our users from seeing the truth. What truth you may ask, and I, on behalf of Jeeves, respond you "There is no spoond"TM.
"The obvious mathematical breakthrough would be development of an easy way to factor large prime numbers." Bill Gates,
Of coure, it's bound to fail because you could do a better job than it of knowing what your looking for and coming up with a query for google. The only way this question model is useful is when it recognizes questions its seen before and know the answers to.
The bus came by and I got on
That's when it all began
There was cowboy Neal
At the wheel
Of a bus to never-ever land
I'd rather be lucky than good.
It is simlultaneously frightening, hilarious, and pathetic that you can set something so simple that is not only automatically appropriate to the article, but also gets you karma. Its a robotic karma whore. Now I'm trying to visualize what that might look like.
This seems to be the questions that it has stored, not the actual text people are asking. In other words, even if everyone on Slashdot went over and asked "How are you doing?", that wouldn't show up - instead the "question" Fine, would you like to ask another question or whatever would display. I wouldn't be surprised if some questions like "Is Jeeves well-endowed?" are hardcoded never to make it on that page.
You are in a maze of twisty little relative jumps, all alike.
That interview actually made more sense than the average call to helpdesk... at least jeeves doesnt tell me its all my fault and i should check if my modem is properly plugged in.
Well,Jeeves does not know it all.I asked Jeeves to tell me the origin of the word'BOOGER'.All I got was "I do not understand."(Hahaha!) My daughter applauded this,as I finally bamboozled another search engine.(She tripped an automotive parts computer at the local Wal-Mart,getting a list of spark plugs for a Nissan SD-25 diesel engine.It did not work after that.) An encore?? Maybe organize the 1st International drive-by wedgie competition.
Geek Hillbilly
Jeeves, why does salad.com think they can hide their javascript behind frames?
!-- ha ha ha ha ha ha ha function checkBrowser() { // returns true if using Netscape 3+ or MSIE 4+, else returns false browseapp = navigator.appName; vers = navigator.appVersion; if( ( browseapp.indexOf( "Netscape" ) >= 0 ) && ( vers.substring( 0, 1 ).indexOf( "5" ) >= 0 ) ) return 1; else if( ( browseapp.indexOf( "Netscape" ) >= 0 ) && ( vers.substring( 0, 1 ).indexOf( "4" ) >= 0 ) ) return 1; else if( ( browseapp.indexOf( "Netscape" ) >= 0 ) && ( vers.substring( 0, 1 ).indexOf( "3" ) >= 0 ) ) return 1; else if( ( browseapp.indexOf( "Microsoft" ) >= 0 ) && ( vers.substring( 0, 1 ).indexOf( "5" ) >= 0 ) ) return 1; else if( ( browseapp.indexOf( "Microsoft" ) >= 0 ) && ( vers.substring( 0, 1 ).indexOf( "4" ) >= 0 ) ) return 1; else if( ( browseapp.indexOf( "Microsoft" ) >= 0 ) && ( vers.substring( 0, 1 ).indexOf( "2" ) >= 0 ) && ( vers.charAt( 22 ) == "3" ) ) return 0; else if( ( browseapp.indexOf( "Microsoft" ) >= 0 ) && ( vers.substring( 0, 1 ).indexOf( "3" ) >= 0 ) ) return 0; else // if using really old or non-MS/Netscape browser, return false return 0; } if( checkBrowser() ) { // navbar preloads here var home_on=new Image(53,91); home_on.src="images/home_on.gif"; var faq_on=new Image(46,91); faq_on.src="images/faq_on.gif"; var register_on=new Image(81,91); register_on.src="images/register_on.gif"; // recipe nav preloads var recipes_on=new Image(62,91); recipes_on.src="images/recipes_on.gif"; var recipes_appson=new Image(62,91); recipes_appson.src="images/recipes_appson.gif"; var recipes_mainson=new Image(62,91); recipes_mainson.src="images/recipes_mainson.gif"; var recipes_sideson=new Image(62,91); recipes_sideson.src="images/recipes_sideson.gif"; var recipes_saladson=new Image(62,91); recipes_saladson.src="images/recipes_saladson.gif" ; var recipes_sandson=new Image(62,91); recipes_sandson.src="images/recipes_sandson.gif"; // prodinfo nav preloads var prodinfo_on=new Image(89,91); prodinfo_on.src="images/prodinfo_on.gif"; var prodinfo_newon=new Image(89,91); prodinfo_newon.src="images/prodinfo_newon.gif"; var prodinfo_existon=new Image(89,91); prodinfo_existon.src="images/prodinfo_existon.gif" ; // about nav preloads var abcon_abon=new Image(139,91); abcon_abon.src="images/abcon_abon.gif"; var abcon_conon=new Image(139,91); abcon_conon.src="images/abcon_conon.gif"; var about_histon=new Image(139,91); about_histon.src="images/about_histon.gif"; var about_mileson=new Image(139,91); about_mileson.src="images/about_mileson.gif"; var about_bioon=new Image(139,91); about_bioon.src="images/about_bioon.gif"; var about_annivon=new Image(139,91); about_annivon.src="images/about_annivon.gif"; } function senseOne(imgName,fileName) { if (document.images && checkBrowser()) document[imgName].src="images/"+fileName+".gif"; } function senseTwo(imgName,fileName,imgNamea,fileNamea) { if (document.images && checkBrowser()) { document[imgName].src="images/"+fileName+".gif"; document[imgNamea].src="images/"+fileNamea+".gif"; } } // ha ha ha ha ha ha ha -->
Jeeves, why do people put ha ha ha ha ha ha in their scripts(oh wait, Rob did that too!)
No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?
I "asked jeeves" if I'll ever get first post.
He just replied... "Not as long as Natalie Portman has hot grits in her pants."
Wow.. I'm going to start relying on Jeeves to answer my advice column..
That'll make my job easier.. Hooray for technology!
-
air and light and time and space
Me: How do you moderate a post that is flamebait?
Moderator: "Troll."
Me: Interesting. How about a post that's off topic?
Moderator: Again, "Troll."
Me: I see. So how about a post that's redundant?
Moderator: That gets a little trickier. Sometimes an "Insightful" is necessary, sometimes an "Informative." Other times, maybe an "Interesting." It just depends on how redundant it is.
Maybe slashdot can now host a contest for the funniest conversation with Jeeves. :-)
Life with Jeeves is a good read, if you like that sort of thing. Wodehouse compared it to musical comedy.
"I am an American. You are a sick asshole!!"
Your answer should have been "Flamebait".
Score:0, Flamebait
Good job. My faith in moderation has been restored.
--
Trollin' fer syrup!
A while back, while a friend and I were doing research, we got completely frustrated with altavista, (this was before we knew about google), and asked it why it was so stupid. The first answer that comes up - a link to altavista. Gotta love that question answering technology.
---------------------------------
---------------------------------
Visit
Damn it all. I swear I cut and pasted that aut of the box which had the correct question. If you ask it, and click on the one that is spelled just exactly right... (much like the 'Is Jeeves Gay' question' you are supposed to get back 'What do you mean? An African or European swallow?'
Master of the broken link,
Dusty Hodges
Here's my favorite. What is the airspeed velocitry of an unladen swallow?
Dusty Hodges
You should allow Jeeves to check your spelling. Try "Beowulf" next time.
Thank you.
Actually, I have a Perl script that executes whenever I login to my workstation. It checks Slashdot to see if there are any new stories posted within a certain timeframe, and if so it posts "Can you imagine... ... a Beowulf cluster of these?" as a reply. This is an appropriate reply to most of the stories posted to Slashdot. I used to post as an AC, but the new default browse level is "+1", so I now use a Slashdot account.
Thank you.
... a Beowulf cluster of these?
Thank you.
"What is the meaning of life?" takes you to a hg2g site
-Compenguin
The Jedi of the Prequels
You asked: Can you imagine a beowolf cluster of these?
I'm not sure I understood your question correctly. Would you like me to check your spelling?
You asked: Weird, Eh?
No, because that's not a link, dum bass.
English or African?
I have found answers to the following questions:
Where can I find the newspaper Washington Post?
What does the computing term POST mean?
Where can I perform enhanced searches with Direct Hit?
Jeeves, why does it burn when I urinate?
-------- -1? Why? --------
Hey - I went to UofS too!
University of Saskatchewan's fine art program basically sucked. The best thing - and stupidest thing - that I did in the art program there was The Simulator, which was actually my graduating exhibition... the crowning glory of my art career.
Q: First Post !t m
A: Where can I find the newspaper Washington Post ?
Q: R j00 31337 ?
A: Where can I read parents' reviews of rated R rated movies and videos?
Q: Natalie Portman with Hot Gritz ?
A: What movies and/or TV shows has Natalie Portman been in?
Q: Star Wars !
A: What are consumers saying about videos and DVDs ?
Q: MPAA suxors! DeCSS r00lz !
A: What does the computing term DeCSS mean ?
Q: Itz a 1337 crack that lets you play DVDz under Linux !
A: Where can I find FAQs on Linux ?
Q: Slashdot sux !
A: Where can I find news for nerds?
Q: SLASHDOT SUX, PH00L !
A: AOL SUX pyramid home page
Q: A0L iz 1337 you st00pid open source nerd !
A: Am I a nerd?
Q: j00 R 4 57up1D n3rDz
A: Where can I read parent's reviews of Rated R movies and videos?
Q: You seem to like those, don't you?
A: Jeeves may not know the answer to your question.
Q: Heh. Jeeves does pr0n.
A: How can I use Ask Jeeves?
Q: Jeeves wants to 'use' himself.
A: Ask Jeeves for kids!
Q: Is Jeeves perverted?
A: Myth: Ask Jeeves is an Answer Database
Q: FIRST POST!
A: Where can I find the newspaper Washington Post ?
Q: Do u d0 CmdrTaco's mom?
A: Modem Init Strings
Q: did u cybersex Taco's mom ?
A: Is cybersex cheating ?
Q: U better hope not !
A: Jeeves may not know the answer to your question.
Q: What is wrong with Jeeves?
A: Where can I find investor relations information for Ask Jeeves?
Q: Ah. Troubles with the 570cK |\/|4rK37?
A: Where can I watch an online video tutorial on software bugs?
Q: www.microsoft.com/misc/data/servervulnerability.h
A: Jeeves may not know the answer to your question.
Q: What OS are you using?
A: Mac Os 7.6
Q: That's why you're so friendly.
A: Friends
Q: That's also why you're totally incompetent.
A: Duh?
Q: Are you gay?
A: Is Jeeves gay?
Q: Is Jeeves gay?
A: Error 429: File is none of your business.
Well, that about sums up this interview, where we put Slashdot up to Jeeves. And in the end, Slashdot won. Who's to say that open source doesn't have some advantages?
Is Jeeves well endowed?
The answer is way to geeky/funny.
-Davidu
# Hack the planet, it's important.
Alex Bischoff
---
Alex Bischoff
HTML/CSS coder for hire
I say have your lawyer write'em a letter...
As for my (admittedly generalist) claims about their customer service, if repeated emails don't even get a cursory acknowledgement (I asked them in the last one to please at least acknowledge that someone had actually read the email), how can you claim to have anything resembling decent customer support? Amazon, Yahoo, and most all of the other successful sites have cheerful and intelligent people on the other end of the line. My experience to date says that this is something that Ask Jeeves lacks...I'm guessing from the quality of their search results that others have run into similar problems getting questions pertaining to them properly answered.
Your mileage may vary; alternate opinions / experiences accepted.
David E. Weekly
David E. Weekly
Code / Think / Teach / Learn
h4x0r for
---
After Joseph Weizenbaum wrote ELIZA, the Rogerian therapist, Kenneth Colby wrote PARRY, a simulation of a paranoid schizophrenic.It wasn't long before someone connected the two programs to each other.
Mea navis aericumbens anguillis abundat
Reading this reminds me of the funny sessions that one can have with Eliza or Dr. Sbaitso. Questions and answers that are almost completely unrelated to one another, except for the occaisonaly hilarious coincidence.
For those who never met him, Dr. Sbaitso was a program included with some of the early SoundBlaster 16 kits. It was basically, as near as I can tell, a derivative of Eliza. It actually talked, though! It was a demo program for the mediocre text to speech software that came with the kit. I think (guess) Sbaitso stood for Sound Blaster Artificial Intelligence Talking .
-Matt
-Cheetah
Anyone try that whole string of comments again and see if the answers are the same? I did, and I got some different answers. Funny, since it basically queries other search engines, and I wouldn't think these databases would change so quickly.
I wonder if it has some kind of algorithm to try to "learn" as people ask it questions, based on what answers they end up clicking or something like that.
Anyone know?
--
grappler
Vidi, Vici, Veni
You asked: Can you answer a question with a simple yes or no?
9 matches by Excite - Are You Insane?
--Shoeboy
"For instance the questions "Where can I buy an Ethernet cable" should take you to a site like Pricewatch and not to CompUSA in order to get the best deal.
Ahem, you can buy ethernet cable at CompUSA. That makes it a "correct" answer. If you had asked "Where can I find the best price on ethernet cable" then you might have a point.
On pricewatch, the ethernet cables which are under "other - cables" rather than my first guess of "networking - other" I would also need to know that ethernet cables can be found under both the "cat5" category and "10BT" (real meaningful distinction) Then I have to select a product based on bad descriptions from the retailer. Then I have to visit the dealers site. Then I have to find the product. Okay for me, but not OK for my mom.
And let's be honest here, a search for "where can I buy ethernet cable" should take me to a page that says "steal it from your employer" as that's what we all do, right?
--Shoeboy
I think the search engine came out looking better than the human interviewer. Certainly had the best snappy comebacks :
Interviewer (losing temper) : [...] answer the question
Jeeves : gas face - Ask And Ye Shan't Receive.
Yes, but when we noun our verbs, and verb our nouns, use certain punctuation, questions can be interpreted in many forms. Is sorta the bane of english's existance...
---
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ping -f 255.255.255.255 # if only
I bet ask jeeves would understand any question if it could understand complex statements where verbs and nouns and splices were programmed in. Ask J is a pumped up eliza that can associate questions to certain answers and give a range of answers. Just like any search engine response: it is as good as the questions asked, the language it interprets as well as the questions it was programmed for. maybe "is jevees gay" is a question better saught out at www.google.com
---
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ping -f 255.255.255.255 # if only
it's flamer. Flamer.
--
+&x
And here the AC has demonstrated exactly how Ask Jeeves is defective.
Why is it that Jeeves can only answer questions with more questions? What is with the third degree? When I ask someone something, software or otherwise, I seek an answer not more questions.
I'm asking the questions, here, Jeeves.
I don't need large brains to have a good time.
I posted a somewhat lengthy related piece to AskSlashdot (which has yet to be either accepted OR rejected) about an idea i had called "Ask Gneeves" which would be an open-source alternative to Ask Jeeves. Unfortunately, I have lost the text, so that the copy lingering in the /. limbo is the only one that exists.
/.-like moderation system along with some kind of open-source language parser AND the resources of the Open Directory Project to create the ultimate user-friendly search engine.
But here's the long and short of it. Using software that I developed for my current project (Catalyst Recruiting, see my sig), I thought it would be pretty easy to beat Ask Jeeves by creating a user-friendly but 100% open source alternative to Ask Jeeves. The idea would be to borrow a
I'll try and find the original text. In the interim I have thrown together a very preliminary sketch of code that I is available at http://www.gneeves.org
Let me know if there is interest in pursuing this...
Eric
Can your IM do this?
Do they have some sort of filtering for people who ask "Where can I find microsoft.com" that are too dumb to just type it in themselves?
Why do they even bother reporting on the results since they could just forward these people right to the proper server???
Wheeeee
But that always takes you to the original URL, not the URL of the page that's trying to break out.
--
The shareholder is always right.
I asked it "What is the meaning of life, the universe and everything?"
It answered "Life insurance.."
I think Jeeves is a little depressed...
I've been trying to figure out why AskJeeves gets so much press. It's probably just the name, and the idea of a natural language query. It's certainly not because it works. I've used it many, many times and I don't know if I've ever gotten an answer to my question. (Why did I use it? Really just to see if the stupid thing would work.) It's nice to see the aggregated results, but other sites (like Dogpile) work better and don't frame the results like AJ does.
All in all, a good idea that still doesn't work too good. -db
Oh come on, that's bloody egoistical don't you think? You expect them to create an entry for, and index the homepage of every person who asks?
that the attitude (and relevance) of my treatment is endemic to how they treat everyone.
How so? If you're going to make claims like that, you'll have to provide a better example than them refusing to index your home page.
====
Bub: Ouch! The meal that burns you twice. Ever try chicken kashmiri?
Well, no Bub, that sounds awfully kinky to me.
It's rare that you're presented with a knob whose only two positions are Make History and Flee Your Glorious Destiny.
In the parody interview with Jeeves when asked Why you little...that's just like a search engine. Ask a question and get no answer.
Jeeves responds with Myth: Ask Jeeves Is An Answer Database.
Actually asking Jeeves almost any negative question about himself brings about a snappy response.
Don't blame it on Jeeves, blame it on the people that Jeeves asks... Altavista, Yahoo, Excite... It doesn't seem like the big J does much of his own work... he just asks other sites.
-- Dr. Eldarion --
(But thou shalt! How darest thou ignoreth My most Holy Suggestion? ;-)
Stay up hacking each weekend. Sleep is for the week.
For a slightly less censored view of the average internet user, check out MetaSpy. Be careful, though; it's highly addictive. A friend of mine even went so far as to write a little program that retrieved new searches and scrolled them past in a little ticker-tape window just so he wouldn't miss anything.
-x1r0k3wl
I should note that it actually links to Ned Fielden's Personal homepage. Under his personal Section's "Habits, Eccentricities, Salacious Gossip" http://userwww.sfsu.edu/~fielden
-Compenguin
The Jedi of the Prequels
Hey there everybody - I built "The Simulator" - the "cold shower" easter egg at Ask Jeeves. I'll prove it by changing the diary to point to a different email.
Signatures are available for a small fee. My company is going public, and I'm using my proprietary burger-flipping code as the basis of an E-Commerce engine.
True, but I don't like to use JavaScript if I don't have to -- especially since a lot of people have JavaScript disabled (or, and this is especially poignant for a classic computers site, can't run JavaScript.) I prefer to limit my JavaScript usage to stuff where the page is demonstrably better for it.
So, as far as I'm concerned, I shouldn't have to increase my file size and put in unnecessary complexities just because ask.com wants to make money at my expense.
But silly me, I'm one of those weirdos who resents having to put bars on my windows, not being able to walk downtown at night, and having to learn about firewalls.
And therein lies the rub. That's why I haven't done anything about it (except recommend against using AskJeeves to my clients, friends, family, etc.)
The big guy always wins, because the little guy doesn't have the time or the resources to fight it.
The issue here is not deep linking; I don't mind (for this site, especially) deep linking. If someone is looking for information about the Sharp PC-5000, the Radio Shack Model 100, or the Iasis Computer in a Book, they should be able to find it directly. I just don't want them to have to put up with an annoying banner ad (that isn't helping to support the site even!) while they get it.
Stupid people will be persecuted to the fullest extent allowed by law.
Question: What is the title of Stephen Hawking's latest book?
Answer: Columbine geek nerd chickclickers Pinkerton my newest book is called Geeks.
You see how much more useful the K-bot would be as a condescending search engine, rather than as a condescending feature writer?
Do it now, guys, before somebody writes it in Python and calls it the Squishbot!
Carefree highway, let me slip away on you.
Ok, this one just Cracked me up!
"Where can I find the auction site Amazon.com? "
Someone actually ASKED this?!?!?! How stupid can you get....
Kintanon
Check out JoshJitsu.info for Brazilian Ji
Give it a peek: peek.
-- www.bteg.com | bleh.n3.net | hac47.dhs.org
My name is Treat Warland, I'm the editor of The FNwire, and I created the Ask Jeeves interview. A few people emailed to tell me Slashdot was discussing this piece, and I see a couple have stated it was faked or a hoax. It was not faked. Each question and answer is quite real, as it notes at the top of the story.
I can understand why you'd think otherwise. Most of our stuff, as our disclaimer states, is parody/satire/false. But when we have something that isn't, we point it out.
I read also that somebody said they tried the same questions and did not get the same answers. I haven't tried that myself, and can't explain it if the answers are different, unless their database changes quite often. Most of you would undoubtedly know much more about that than I.
Thanks,
Treat
OK, I know this sounds like a troll, but it's true: Go to Jeeves and ask "will you blow me" (or any of a number of similar propositions)....
The first hit that comes up, "Wouldn't you rather take a nice, cold shower," is amusing enough in and of itself, but clicking it will prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that the Jeeves staff has too much time on their hands.
Make sure you have a spare 15 minutes or so before trying this....
--
It's not so much that I'm whining about them not specifically indexing my homepage as that it is that I feel that the attitude (and relevance) of my treatment is endemic to how they treat everyone. Namely, that they give ridiculously erroneous answers and seem to have no interest in changing that.
Bloody hell, Jeeves. You're fired.
David E. Weekly
David E. Weekly
Code / Think / Teach / Learn
h4x0r for
This pisses me off, since people then assume they're looking at content owned/developed/posted/etc. by ask.com. They, of course, don't pay me for this, nor have they asked permission. What makes it worse is that they have their banner add on top, and I certainly do not want unrelated banner ads "on" my site.
Wasn't this (wrapping someone else's content in your frameset so it was unclear where the content came from) ruled illegal (I seem to remember a case involving the New York Times having its content web-napped by another site.)
Anyway, the conceit on the part of Ask.com -- to think that they can just slap their name on someone else's carefully crafted site design -- is incredible. Almost as outrageous as my own. And don't they owe me at least a portion of the revenue they've generated by adding banners to my site?
Am I alone in this, or does it piss others off too?
Stupid people will be persecuted to the fullest extent allowed by law.
Try asking this question to Jeeves :
"Does Jeeves have an evil twin?"
and then click on the first "ask" button beside where that question will be written...
lots of fun for the whole family
"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear"
The problems with Ask Jeeves are two-fold:
1) They only have a few paid editors who try and compile the list of questions and answers
2) They in general only provide a single link to a question that they already know the answer to. Big companies provide big money to make sure that their resource is listed first/exclusively and these big sites are not always the best sources of information. For instance the questions "Where can I buy an Ethernet cable" should take you to a site like Pricewatch and not to CompUSA in order to get the best deal.
The Open-source community can solve this problem easily. We allow anyone who wants to to submit question-and-answer pairs, and then we allow end-users to vote (or should we call it moderate?) on which answers are best suited to each question. Thus, the system grows as a result of its users activity, and is not really subject to editorial control. Even less editorial control that Slashdot, believe it or not.
So, here's my question. I am currently too busy with other projects (although one of them such as enzyme.sourceforge.net, the engine that backs Catalyst Recruiting has a lot of related code) to really speahead and maintain this project. I have, however, purchased the domain names that will be necessary to make it work: askgneeves.com (this time the N is silent). Anyone out there interested in working on it? Anyone think it's even a good idea? Is someone already doing this? I think that pretty soon we could have an open-source product that would be useful to 90% of the clueless users out there.
Can your IM do this?
Jeeves, is this the first post?
Why is the universe here? -Well, where else would it be?
It says quite a bit about the typical internet user. Or at least the ones reduced to asking an AI for advice.
You can certainly tell when the kids are at the computer, and their parents are out of the room.
--
NetInfo connection failed for server 127.0.0.1/local
I liked that one so much, I conducted my own! Jeeves can never be too busy. Here we go:
... We Don't Care!
Interview with the Search Engine 2 (All these answers to my Qs are REAL! Go ask Jeeves yourself - a little scrolling and searching may be required.)
Q: Hello, Jeeves.
A: Ask Jeeves
Q: This isn't a question time.
A: That's the million dollar question, isn't it? (NT)
Q: No, it's not a question at all.
A: Sunday School Lessons. These lessons have groups talking.
Q: Don't go off the subject!
A: If You Don't Get It
Q: That's rude.
A: Why Hate Someone?
Q: OK, down to business. I want to talk.
A: Be my friend
Q: *Ahem*... What do you think about the economy?
A: It's Me!
Q: No it isn't.
A: Money isn't everything
Q: Okay, then, how about the homeless?
A: What can I do to help people who are homeless?
Q: Oh yes, you're a butler. Is there really anything you can do?
A: I'd Do Anything
Q: But you can't. Next question: Will you run for president?
A: Can't Sleep, Clowns Will Eat Me
Q: You're a loony.
A: Welcome to the Loony Bin
Q: No, this is an interview, not a party.
A: interview with the vampires
Q: Who?
A: Who am I?
Q: Do you have a case of amnesia?
A: fleeting_memories
Q: I'm sure. Do you have any final comments?
A: Stern backs Trump - more or less
Q: Really?
A: Who Really Launched 1000 Ships?
Q: Are you asking me to tell you that you did?
A: Help My Kids Are Asking Me Questions!
Q: I'm not your kid, you silly booger!
A: You're still looking at me!!!
Q: Okay then. Goodbye.
A: OH NO! There is more!
Q: What is it?
A: Tell Elvis We Said Hello
Q: Right. Goodbye.
A: World Says Goodbye
Hope you liked it!
--
OK, I've been working on this concept for a long time, so nobody laugh.
People navigating the internet need the assistance of a friendly, helpful assistant, who will respond to questions posed in plain English (or American, etc.). By interacting with this fictional personality, users will develop a relationship which will lead them back to the service again and again (Kaching!).
So that leads me to....askFabio.com. Rather than interact with some musty old butler, why not pose questions to a real, live hunk of man? (or hunk of woman; we should have a lively selection of celebrities).
The idea is that, instead of expecting some helpful and unbiased advice, which is the last thing we would expect from a celebrity, users will instead gratify their need for attention by receiving virtual responses from real famous people. After all, if they're famous, they don't have to be right!
The cunning business strategy which I will employ is to harness each celebrity's gift for self-promotion within the actual neural engine. Fabio, for instance, will slyly slip references to his own line of Harlequin romances into each response to "literature" or "paper" , or any other related term. AskGeorgeForeman.com will, of course, scarcely ever forget to mention George's line of healthy, fat-reducing grills.
Anyone expecting more detailed information will risk losing the attention of the highly popular personality, and being relegated to a bunch of lesser-known search engines. By this method of inducement, customers will quickly learn to lower their ridiculous expectations, and contribute to healthy, growing business model!
---- "If we have to go on with these damned quantum jumps, then I'm sorry that I ever got involved" - Erwin Schrodinger
I wrote an article very similar to this for a short-lived, now-defunct website called Cyberdelia. Cyberdelia was a tech/geek humor site, and I, well, interviewed the Ask Jeeves search engine for it. I'm not at all surprised that someone might have the same idea that I did, but I am surprised that they would have it this far into Ask Jeeves' existence (our article was written about the time the Ask Jeeves hype started).
Maybe I'm just paranoid... or maybe I'm just pissed I didn't post my article to Slashdot a year ago.
Bah,
-x1r0k3wl
P.S. Oh and for the record, none of Jeeves' answers were altered for my article... I always just took his first response.
Is Jeeves gay?
Haven't seen that error before.