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What's That In Your Keyboard?
An anonymous reader noted that The Beeb has an
article on the crap you find in your keyboard. I usually wear my keyboards out fast enough that they need replacing before cleaning (which is good since nate took his keyboard vacuum with him when he moved). Besides that, I spill a mocha on my keyboard at least every 2-3 weeks. Thank god you can get keyboards for ten bucks!
I really miss the huge things they had connected to the 3124 and 3219g terminals at my college's comupter center. They had 24 'pf' keys at the top. The ultimate in programable keyboards.
-Rob
I'm using a 1984 model m I got from ebay. LOVE IT!
Professional, eh?
I don't care if it's 90,000 hectares. That lake was not my doing.
Keyboard condoms for everyone! Keyboard covers, of the type you can type through, are the looming norm. Safe text!
"..don't you eat that yellow snow."
I washed my keyboard this summer. It was kind of grimey, so I unplugged it (the computer was still up), took off the keys, unscrewed the bottom, and carefully washed everything -- even the circuit board-like thing. I've done similar things to network cards, hard drives, even motherboards. I don't know what the big deal is with electronics and water. I would like to some day set up an old computer, and completely submerge it while it's running. I suppose that would be a bad idea for someone with hard water, but there aren't many minerals in the water where I live.
Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
ESCOM, huh? The fungus was probably put there at the factory.
~ radiographite: art by john shepard
does this mean that some (more than 1?) are?
eudas
Blessed is he who expects the worst, for he shall not be disappointed.
Theres an easy way around hitting the Windows key instead of Alt or Control while playing a DOS game - pop the Windows key off, and use the keyboard without it. I stalled a lot of networked games before figuring that out, and haven't had that problem since.
Time wounds all heels.
Back in high school, we had these things on the VT100s. We called them "keyboard condoms."
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As copyright owner of this comment, I authorize everyone to defeat any technological measure which limits access to it.
... and find at least a bong rip or two. -- BV
My one complaint is that it has the "softest" touch of any keyboard I've ever used. People find that odd, because when I was keyboard-shopping, it was either this or an old-style IBM clicker. But in the end, I prefered the UNIX key layout (with sane positions for Ctrl and ESC) to the tactile feedback. Sure, you can simulate this with xmodmap, but I use NT too, and I've never found a satisfactory method for swapping the keys in NT.
I don't regret the purchase, but I wouldn't make it again. Why? Because of the lack of tactile feedback, and also because now I have a tendancy to smack Capslock when I want Ctrl when using the PCs at work. And I'm *very* paranoid about spilling. It was a really fun purchase, but I've learned that trying to keep a keyboard in perfect condition is like attempting the same with a car: it's impossible unless you never use it.
I would never buy a "Natural" keyboard. I've heard those are excellent if you can touch-type, but this hacker can't. I'd probably snap it over my knee in frustration in less than an hour.
An IBM clicker will definitely be my next keyboard. I can tell my fingers miss the feedback by how I have to attack the keys to get satisfactory noise.
Keyboards are fun.
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All generalizations are false.
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I like to watch.
One of my room mates at university (in Britain) bought a computer off another friend of ours. That other friend paid for his habits by dealing, and he used to roll up on the back of his keyboard. When my room mate cleaned the keyboard, he found he enough hash crumbs to role a who joint - made with three king size Rizla papers too!
Let's see; as any semi-enclosure exposed to air on the planet earth, amounts of dust, definitely. Human/dog hair; the keyboard's like a magnet for it, and the grooves are shaped just perfectly to get it all tangled in there between keys. Naturally human skin would sneak in there; any significant amount of typing would rub off loose skin on the fingers, and again; it's all designed to let it fall inbetween and beneath the keys. Food, drinks, etc.. anything eaten over the keyboard that passes exposed through the air will deposit [at least] miniscule amounts of debris on the keys, hence this is to be expected. For purposes of comment; let's call the food, drink, dust, hair, etc. 'The hacker(s)', and let's call the keyboard 'the box'. And then make this statement: Ofcourse the hacker(s) will find a way in the box, the purpose of security is to prevent them from doing it -- hence you should patch the box and put a firewall on it. Closest i've come to theorizing a 'firewall' for the box is a plastic bag thrown over it, which tends to impede typing; however:/ -Myd
Now noways research come from AOL and not have biased or skewed results. I think that they are keeping out a very important part of the results...
34% crushed up AOL CDs
Hopefully I didn't put any [] around my words.
This explains some things. The keyboard topic comes up on Slashdot about twice a year, and around March someone posted a link to IBM's web store where you could still purchase the clickers, directly from IBM. When I went to buy a new keyboard in July, they were gone. By the time I found them elsewhere, I had already fallen for my current Sun rig.
You really wonder, since so many people love the damned things, that most keyboard makers sell nothing like them. I supposed because all Them Thar Complercated Mechanical Parts And Stuff can't be assembled by twelve-year-old sweatshop workers as easily as a circuitboard and three interlocking pieces of plastic. Oh well, it's their loss, considering how much people are willing to pay for new ones!
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All generalizations are false.
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I like to watch.
A long time ago, I developed a PC-based medication dispensing system for use in drug addiction treatment clincs. The medication dispensed was a syrupy suspension of methadone, necessarily thickened with sweeteners because of the extreme unpalatability of methadone hydrochlorate.
The clinic administrators from a large hospital system in NYC called me one day and asked me what to do about keyboard bugs. Thinking they were having some kind of system problem, I asked them to further describe the nature of their question. I was horrified to hear that they meant actual bugs in the keyboards.
It seems that in the normal course of dispensing medication, droplets of methadose were making their way into the nurses' keyboards. Roaches were feasting on the stuff, and had taken up more or less permanent residence in the keyboards. Apperently, the narcotics were enough to make the roaches really lethargic, so they didn't seem to mind being hammered by keystrokes. They just kind of came and went as they pleased, but more often they stayed. After a while, when a keyboard reached its maximum occupancy, the keys became inoperable.
Rather than purchase new keyboards and vinyl key covers, the hospital elected to gather all the keyboards, put them in a closet, set off a bug bomb, and empty the keyboards.
I am SO glad I am not their support technician.
Yeah, I lost an MS Natural to a Snapple spill last month. Poof. DOA.
HOWEVER, the MS Natural clone (PC Concepts "Wave" keyboard) that I've had on my other computer for twice as long, survived a similar spill and keeps on ticking.
-- Fester
-- Fester
"Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows."
never ceased to amuse me how a user could, with total poker face, tell me they hadn't been drinking any coffee near the keyboard, they had been sitting there all day and it just stopped. Then I'd hold up the keyboard and watch something like heavily creamed coffee drip out.
LOL, don't you love users?
I build data-driven websites, and I've learned that I need to build at least some sort of audit-trail capability into the sites because users are *always* fucking up and entering the wrong data and then blaming us. Nothing better than *nailing* a user during a meeting in front of their superior...
Client: There's a bug with the content system. Several of the items I entered have disappeared. Why does this happen? I thought you tested this stuff!?!?!?
Me: Hmmm. Actually, nothing gets deleted, it only gets marked as "inactive" and is no longer displayed... let me see... [I tap out a few SQL queries]... hmmm, looks like they're still here, and it looks like you deleted them all yourself at 5:43PM yesterday from IP address xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx.... we could have your IT people tell us what computer corresponds to that IP address, maybe someone else was using your account?
Client:Oh. Uh, um. OK.... I don't know what happened... err....[shifts nervously in seat]
Client's Boss:Ah. I see... good job John! [glares at incompetant underling while making angry-looking note in red ink in his elegant leather executive DayTimer]
Doesn't happen that often, but boy, is it worth it. It's just that there's so many bugs that occur in the development process, clients know they stand a good chance of succeeding if they blame their mistakes on your "buggy code". :-)
OtakuBooty.com: Smart, funny, sexy nerds.
Not really much of a story, but at least it's true. I know, because I was the tech.
Customer: Arghh.. sorry I can't type that, my keys keep sticking.
Tech: Sometimes if you turn your keyboard upside down and shake it, that helps.
Customer: (sound of shaking in the background) Eeewww! There's all this nasty white flaky stuff.
Tech: Yeah, a lot of times dandruff gets in there and makes it harder to type.
Customer: I do NOT have dandruff.
Tech: (thinking to himself) Wow, I can't believe I just had this conversation. I feel like I'm in a shampoo commercial.
For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
Unfortunately, gods help me, I used to work in a "character" building dating back to 1912. The place was split office/residential - really LOW INCOME residential.
One of the charming residents, while not being a crack dealer (they'd all been chased out by that point) had absolutely zero grasp of cleanliness. The guys apartment was completely and utterly infested with cockroaches... crawling on the walls, filling the fridge, you name it.
And this lovely heritage building? Nothing but wood, which is just a migration highway for the roaches. We'd have to deal with the buggers on a daily basis, crushing any we saw, and spraying wherever we could. That was bad enough.
But I cannot POSSIBLY relate the disgust when I found out that one had laid an egg sac in my keyboard. I found out because suddenly, little baby roaches started boiling out between the keys.
I am -so- glad I'm not there anymore, and in a nice, antiseptic, concrete-and-steel office tower.
Hold it so the keys are facing you and shake it. The dirt will fall to the bottom of the keyboard (read: by the Ctrl/Alt keys and the Spacebar). From there, you should be able to shake the it out without it getting stuck in too many of the keys.
-- Sig (120 chars) --
Your friendly neighborhood mIRC scripter.
* Q
P.S. If you don't get this note, let me know and I'll write you another.
I have fairly straight hair, but when I open my keyboard for cleaning, most of it in there is somewhat curly...
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heh that was the only sim game i ever liked...
eudas
Blessed is he who expects the worst, for he shall not be disappointed.
reminds me of the movie gattica when they're trying to solve the murder mystery and since they have genetic information on all of the employees and all of the people in the world (I guess) they're able to figure out who should be there and who shouldn't be there due to stuff like hair, dead skin, finger nails clippings, etc. in the keyboard.
makes you think how much you shed while being huddled above your keyboard staring too intently on the monitor on your desk...
I got a couple of older terms w/those kinds of keyboards. I loved the damn
things; they're ancient, but they refuse to wear out. Too bad there's the
little matter of them being block devices, else I'd have them both connected
up (Linux doesn't support these...they're the ones with the three-wire coax
connectors. Damn.)
My father, being the engineer type, was compelled to restore this device to serviceability. However, the thing which the Japanese do in pachinko parlors besides playing pachinko is -- you guessed it -- smoking. The machine was clogged with tar and ash, and most of the balls (which are inscribed steel balls, somewhat smaller than marbles) resembled small spheres of dirt. Thus, most of the restoration of the machine involved taking it apart, scrubbing the tar off, and putting it back together.
The other trouble with pachinko machines is that the balls get everywhere if there are young children in the house ....
give them a lifetime expiration. that, or a 'killswitch' a la 'deus ex'.
eudas
Blessed is he who expects the worst, for he shall not be disappointed.
I actually had to throw out my last keyboard. I weighed the gook, a mighty ounce. The thing that disturbed me the most:
Fingernails.
Am I not getting enough calcium, or is something/someone clipping their nails directly over my keyboard? Egads! Tis college life, me supposes.
when Push Comes to Shove
No guesses required as to why he's your ex-, I'm thinking...
Open Source. Closed Minds. We are Slashdot.
Great, now I know exactly what kind of crud I have in the keyboard. Could be worse, I suppose... I haven't spilt any Ramen(tm) on the keyboard lately.
Oh, and btw, depending on what you spill/drop on the keyboard, shaking it out won't help. While you might get rid of some exfoliated skin and food crumbs, there's still the large chance of having human or pet hair in there. Removing the keys isn't always easy, and I wouldn't suggest it to anyone who is not prepared to buy a new keyboard. In short, unless the crud is a major problem, don't worry about it. Frankly, I find the 'cleaning hints' at the end of the article to be largely irresponsible.
Kierthos
Mr. Hu is not a ninja.
A science broadcaster on the Australian radio station Triple J is running a study where he asks listeners to donate their belly-button lint.
http://www.abc.net.au/science/k2
-- veni vidi nuclei deceri --- I came, I saw, I dumped core.
I've heard of somone running the non electronic stuff through a dishwasher but I'd be wary... He said to put the keys in a mesh plastic bag (like you might take to the beach or use to keep beer cold in a river) and just let it rip... I am using my original keyboard here but I have picked up two others at a swap meet (5$) and a thrift store ($10)... Sweet. People must think they are too heavy to be useful! :) They have obviously never thought of the self-defense potential!
--8<--
--8<--
Surely they found some boogers in there somewhere
I'm on a chair.
I'm not sure the same things hold true for jerking off, but I imagine it would not be much fun without vigor.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
"L realized L swltched a couple of keys when L put them back. Guess my typlng skllis were better than thlers."
Several years ago, my aunt's family gave me a blank keyboard. There's no marking on any of the keys. I love it! I plugged it right in and have been using it ever since. It looks so aesthetically clean.
Of course, since my aunt's family gave it to me and it is harder to use than a regular keyboard, it is my auntie-ergonomic keyboard.
Who actually ejaculates on their keyboard, though? That's just sick. I hear stories about people who whack off at the office and have to clean their keyboards, and I don't believe it. If you don't have the foresight to pick up a box of Kleenex from the company store, can't you at least aim at something easier to clean? Like the wall? Show some restraint, gentlemen. If you have to cum on a keyboard, show up at work early and use your neighbor's PC. Or your boss's! Won't that be a nice surprise for him when he arrives? Walks in, sits at desk. Procedes to login. "Hey, what the... that looks sort of like... OH, FUCK!!" Even better than th keyboard, just do it right on his desk. He'll be freaked out for days, and it will make for interesting watercooler chat. "So, did you hear someone blew their load on the boss's desk?" Do it on a morning when you know the boss will be in late, so people get to walk by and see it for a few hours.
Oops, did I just say that out loud?
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All generalizations are false.
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I like to watch.
Thanks for pointing out the joke for me. I just thought he had a janitor's hair in there.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
Of all the keyboards I've gone through, the most popular items in mine were my own hair.
I have since solved that since I shaved my head. Balding problem and keyboard problem solved in one fell swoop.
Seriously though, has anyone ever removed a spacebar from a keyboard sucessfully and put it back on? That's one key I seem to have the most trouble with on keyboard maintenence.
You're bog standard office keyboard costs about £5. You're bog standad seceratry earns over £5 an hour. If said secratary took all the keys off the keyboard, without breaking them, cleaned the keyboard, then replaced they keys IN THE RIGHT ORDER, it would take about 4 days! How many general computer users know they layout of a keyboard? How many stil hunt arround for the 'v' key. The letters arent the worse bits though, all the symbols to the right of p/l/m are going to cause problems to the casual user too. The space bars realy bad to clip on in my keyboard, as it has a metal thing underneath to go under hooks. All that said and done, it's a lot cheaper to just buy a £5 keyboard.
So yes, I do understand the importance of a good keyboard. Your keyboard, mouse, monitor and chair are going to be the most used pieces of equipment on your computer, will likely last over several computers and will make a huge difference in your comfort and productivity. Anyone who skimps on them deserves exactly what they get.
Ita erat quando hic adveni.
thank you... i'm going to go buy some pesticide now and spray for roaches...
eudas
Blessed is he who expects the worst, for he shall not be disappointed.
The "study" was comissioned by AOL, and involved two random keyboards sent in to the lab.
The whole reason they did the study is 'cause you can use AOL to order pizza from Domino's. They're selling people on the idea that the "WonderBread" of pizza is a cleaner workspace snack than other things.
You notice there's no "Pizza sauce" on the list...
I saw this nearly a week ago on The Register, and now it's on the BBC too.
I believe that most cockroaches are female and pregnant, so when you stamp on them you are simply scattering the eggs...
Yes, the 3M mouse thingy is great. But at the point where you _need_ that pad you should just go for an optical mouse instead. Logitech now makes them too, in case you have something against MS hardware.
"Hot lesbian witches! It's fucking genius!"
Did you find the Crud Puppy in there?
:-P
With all due credit to UF.
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mikre he sophia he tou Mikrosophou.
Tobacco... ri-i-i-ight...
Edith Keeler Must Die
Heh ... I was creeped out by this selfsame fact. I think I have an explanation:
"Oh, I hope he doesn't give us halyatchkies," said Heinrich.
Hewlett Packard keyboards (make sure it's PS/2 or AT!!!); they have a distinct key shape and have that "server terminal" look!
Old IBM Keyboards from the original PS/2 systems: These have removable key caps, so you can mess around with the letters to confuse hunt-and-peckers!! Also, these keyboards make an annoying click, about 75% as loud as flipping a circuit breaker (believe me, that's loud); imagine the incessant clattering of an entire keyboarding class using these (I had to experience this firsthand!)
Commodore Amiga keyboards: Though useless without the Amiga itself, this rare find is still fun to look at.
Apple Macintosh II: The keys on this have flanges around them which can help keep dust out. Too bad it's ADB.
Acer Keyboards from 1991: from my dad's Acer 386SX with DOS 3.3 (he used it until 1999, when I finally built him a Pentium 166!); this one clicks as well, but about half as loud as the IBM geezers.
My favorite keyboard is the Mouse Systems 107+ (now the CompUSA ergonomic keyboard); it's split á la the Microsoft Natural, but with the 6 on the right hand side (where it should be; ask any typing class instructor). It performs excellently in DOOM and Quake1; you can transfer from strafing to turning with ease, since you can hold more keys down at once. It also has a built-in handrest; it's perfect when you lie the keyboard on your lap. This is one durable keyboard; I'm a VERY heavy typist (sometimes my friends say to me "Hey! Stop beating on that keyboard!), so durability matters.
There you have it: great moments in keyboards.
"Ancillary does not mean you get to rule the world." --U.S. Circuit Judge Harry Edwards, speaking to the FCC's lawyer
I aquired 5 of these things in a garage sale or somewhere, I don't remember, but I will never use another keyboard. Nothing else even touches them. Heavy as hell, noisy too, but they type like a dream, and I do believe you could run over them in a car and theyd keep working :P
:P
This one I'm using now was born 27AUG87
And no, you cant have one
I agree! I have one on my Mac and love it. I'm scared to death of it dieing on my one day because there hard to find and when you do they got for $80 and greater.
- Apple Computer......proudly going out of business for over twenty years.
Should we assume that the pun in your subject line is unintentional?
For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
"realized" is spelled correctly.
:)
-Vel
It's not *that* hard, it just looks really confusing when you've got all the keys, plus 3 clear plastic layers and some other metal stuff. I did it and only lost the spacebar spring. I consider that a success! :) Some soap and a toothbrush really clean those keys up nicely.
I just wipe it off with a damp rag and it's as clean as the day I bought it. What are you people talking about?
Marijuana... After I'm done sorting out the seeds and stems from my sac in preporation to smoke a joint/bowl I just blow off the excess shake hoping I'll vacum it up next time. Last time I clean out my keyboard though I found where it all went though.. At times where I'm desperate for 'erb and the town is dry I've had thoughts of cleaning out my keyboard, but I'm not that much of a pothead. (close but not quite)
Finally, another human who understands how valuable a real keyboard is. I find the old 84 much faster and easier to use than the later versions. The Ctrl-Alt-Caps keys seem to be located to break your fingers every time you try to use them.
Does anyone know where to get an 84-key AT keyboard these days? I purchased 6 new ones many years ago, hoping they would last the rest of my life.
Unfortunately, I seem to be living longer than planned, and I'm down to my last one.
HELP!
I've got an old IBM keyboard to, the only thing I dislike about them is the noise...
Mikael Jacobson
Greylisting is to SMTP as NAT is to IPv4
Don't let white wine stay in here - it dissolves the tracks off the board. But you can paint them back with silver loaded paint.
LOL! You're creative, slick.
Everybody knows that girls love anal retentive guys!
So keep pulling out the alcohol swabs to wipe your hand after touching doorknobs, store your urine in jars, and keep plenty of rubber gloves around in case you get a chance to touch a woman.
I find it amusing the number of people who cant actually touch type.
:P, however ive found that this is very rarely the case :-)
;p)
Its like you would think since it something you do all day (assuming you do it more than 8 hrs a day) that most pople would at the very least learn to touch type
Jeremy (Can touch type
AOL CDs are everywhere, just look around. I have found them on the side of the road, and even in the midle of a 200x200 yard field next to a mall. How many of those things have they made?
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
I know it's late, but that's the funniest thing i've read on here in a long time. It's a good thing i'm not at work. I don't want to explain that to my coworkers.
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Planning to be moderated ± 1: Bad Pun.
I broke open my laptop last night and found some interesting stuff... cheese Chex Mix among the most dominant.
I have to add, though, that the IBM keyboards from 1984 that click, especially the black ones, rock. They even have a modular attachment that allow you to go from PS/2 to the older larger size (forgot the name) without a converter. God clickity keyboards so rock. No windows button either... $3 at any good computer ma & pops!
-- Anubis
"After three days without programming, life becomes meaningless." - Tao of Programming
My favorite keyboard is the rather rare big heavy 101-key IBM PC keyboards that DO NOT click! They really do exist, I am typing on one right now... I have only come across three in my life (I own two of them), well, no, I ran into a few non-clicking 102-key ones in Mexico, but those are two weird to use - "[alt gr]-q" to get an @ symbol... Bizaare. Anybody else like them or know where to get them? I'd be interested in getting a few more.
> I use a M$ Natural Elite, it's more expensive but worth the money.
;-) hehe
Yeap, I agree, but make sure you get the "Natural Keyboard Pro"
M$ _finally_ fixed the T-arrow keys. The first version of the Natural keyboard had the proper upside down T-arrow keys arrangment. So what do they do? They STOP SELLING it, and they bring out the "elite" version, and the t-arrow keys are a small diamond with tiny keys ! Bloody useless. At least they finaly went back to the upside down T. Looks like M$ hardware needs to hit version 3 as well
The 4 button Logitech mouse (3 buttons, with 1 thumb button and middle scroll wheel) is pretty cool too.
Hot Grits.
"See, we plan ahead! That way, we never have to do anything now."
Try coming up with 'kill -9 xsession' when fvwm crashes and locks the keyboard but not the mouse. Ironically, Tuesday's Dilbert was the kybard one. (He breaks his stress balloon over his keyboard and gets called to the boss for the memo requesting a new 'kybard')
lameness filter encountered on old subject - X
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Planning to be moderated ± 1: Bad Pun.
While I wait for my filters to move mail to it's appropriate mailboxes, I look down at the keyboard and what do I see? A silverfish (a.k.a. roly-poly kinda thing) crawled out of the keyboard!!
Nuff-said.
works even better with pot. pot doesn't suffer as much from dehydration as shag (=tobacco for rolling your own cigarette, or a home-rolled cigarette) does.
//rdj, just finished a shag.
No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee's frothy goodness.
--Sheikh Abd-Al-Kadir, 1587
They are sold by the spin-off/descendant of the IBM keyboard division.
I bought 5 of these wonderful keyboards from a school auction for $1 each. They had a 55 gal garbage can full of them. (5 was the max I thought I could add to my stuff without the missus noticing..."Is that pile of computer stuff growing again?!?") They are truly the best.
They also keep their secrets...The key design keeps the goodies from falling out when I turn it over and shake it. I can see evidence of life in there, but nothing crawled out. I'll classify that as a good thing, I think.
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wow... sounds like you could just build your own, think of it, nice, brushed titanium case, make your own lexan (bulletproof plexiglass) keys using molds of old IBM keys, and reverse engeneer the clicking noise of those keyboards. My mom threw mine out, and i'm totally pissed about that. Buy some stainless steel coil springs (possibly titanium?), canniblalize the right-sized keyboard circut board thingy, graft on a 8-10 ft cable (MS natural has a 6' standard, it could be longer sometimes (like when surfing from bed/across the room)), and some sort of built in gel/neopreme wrist rest....ahhh yeah...
moox. for a new generation.
I've washed at least three keyboards, all of which came out working better than when I started -- essentially as good as new. Haven't lost one to washing yet, and that includes speeding up the drying process with a hair dryer. (Remember, you've got nothing to lose if you've already written it off anyway!) Just make sure it's really dry. One time when I was impatient I fired it up without drying it fully, which... well, "didn't work" puts it simplest.
The most-recent incident was a mocha, in fact, and the keyboard was the most complex that I've opened up yet. It was clearly intended to be a "spill resistant" design, but the right half of the keyboard started sending two signals -- the key pressed, and the key to its immediate right. Having washed it, it's back to work. Now if I can just keep my son from repeating that little trick...
No Laughing Allowed!
if you were using a cloth covered mouse pad before the 3m mousepad, that would be your problem. the mouse constantly rolls over the cloth, witch eventually micro-pills, and gets picked up by the (suprise suprise) high-traction trackball, which then passes the dirt off to one of three (again) high traction x, y or null axis wheels. the hell if i know what you're doing with lint in your keyboard, unless you tend to clean your mouse out over top ofyour keyboard....
moox. for a new generation.
I nominate this to the most useless study of the year. If the keyboard studied is typical, AOL UK estimates that almost 0.318 tonnes of what it calls "keyboard krumbs" will accumulate beneath all keyboards over the space of a year. Gee I feel sooo much better... what a waste of electrons...
see the slots along the bottom? stick your screwdriver in that, and if you're holding the keyboard flipped so the space bar is away from you, upside down, make that little tab in the middle go down. after that, you're on your own.. the only other keytronics i've taken apart, is my 8 year old one, still works great. as for the winkey, i believe there's tools on microsoft's webpage SOMEWHERE, called winkey or something silly like that. supposed to disable the winkeys.
i'm currently using one of those logitech "internet" keyboards. didn't bother installing the software after my last win98 install, so I'm not using any of the silly keys.. Nice little keyboard, last time i had to wash it, i took it apart, and just tossed it under the bathtub sink for awhile to rinse it out. Threw it in the oven on the lowest setting for about 20 minutes, cause i was lazy. let it sit overnight, works great.
Please stop APK.. you're only hurting yourself.
Forensic entomology is the use of insect knowledge in the investigation of crimes or even civil disputes.
Check here for more details.
Where the HELL does that come from?
Few people know this. There is a wormhole in your dryer. Socks (and for some reason only socks do this) get sucked into the wormhole, discombobulated and come out as individual fibers under the keys of your keyboard, on your mouse rollers and in your bellybutton.
Admit nothing, deny everything and make counter-accusations.
Yup, I picked up 3 of them for $5 at a University auction a few months ago. They even came with the plastic function key labeler thingies! I was up until 3 am for 2 nights in a row cleaning them, but, wow, it was so worth it.
odd, i've spilt 3 .75L glasses of big red (3rd highest soda in sugar content, after jolt and somting else higher than coke and surge), and while the big red was on there, i didn't have any problem with it, seeing as how the spaces inbetween the keys are so damned small...i had enough time to run to the kitchen and grab a sponge and back before the bulk of the big red made it's way through to the "guts" of the KB. Anybody else have any stories they'd care to share?
moox. for a new generation.
$ \nabla \times \mathrm{hair} \gg \mathbf{0} $ ?
--
Escher was the first MC and Giger invented the HR department.
I've been using the same IBM brand keyboard for the last nine years. I've spilled the most amazing amount of stuff into it and it keeps on working.
The best $150.00 (US) I ever spent.
Boobies never hurt anyone. - Sherry Glaser.
Probally because the underwear gnomes are cleaning your keyboard over it.
Working with no office mate and in a tolerant country, I am allowed to smoke at work. Since I roll my cigarettes, my keyboards are filled with ashes and tobacco bits. With a little bit of sorting, I guess I could roll one more with them ... Kind of an emergency reserve for hard working days !
...
As long as it ain't weed
--
gdon
The article was all about impurity particles inside keyboards. Now, what really interests me is the stuff on the keys. A thorough chemical analysis of that stuff would reveal much of the personal hygiene of the user, i.e. if they wash their hands after wanking for petrified chicks.
--
Escher was the first MC and Giger invented the HR department.
Because I couldn't care less.
Listen, Sigmund, we'll discuss it in the morning.
The most bizarre thing I've ever found in a keyboard is ashes. It was completely full, there couldn't have been any more ashes without them overflowing.
The person who's keyboard it was typed with a cigarette in his hands, all the time. He'd let ashes drop onto the keyboard constantly.
who has pot seeds/stems as the main culprit
of a rattling keyboard?
Just wondering
http://www.indirect.com/www/maxi/products.html#m axi pro II
Your wallet stays open. Our source remains closed. We are MSFT
Whoa... a mere human has outlasted six of these keyboards? (I'm still on my first one, and I'm pretty sure that this heavy metal beast will still be in working condition a century after I have turned to dust in my grave.) Do you type with a hammer or something?
---
As copyright owner of this comment, I authorize everyone to defeat any technological measure which limits access to it.
I have one of those. A nice old IBM Model M. According to the information on the back of the keyboard (assuming I'm reading it right) it was born on the 6th of September, 1988.
People will tell you they're not cheap, but they are if you can find someone who has an old one they tucked away somewhere that they don't want anymore (what were they thinking!!)
So I got mine for $10.
I had a sig, but I forgot to feed it for a week and it died.
I got a nice, heavy, clicky 84-key Leading Edge keyboard for free at a yard sale (lots of old computer parts just sitting on the guy's lawn...all for free...*drool*). I cleaned it up really good when I got home and plugged it into my PC. After POST, I kept hearing a bunch of beeps and the keyboard wouldn't work.
The keyboard has an AT plug and my keyboard port is AT (PII system). Was there some type of change in keyboard code configs that prevents me from using this cool keyboard or is it possibly broken? I have a 386 that I could test it with, but the plug turned 90 degrees and won't fit through the hole that leads to the kbd port.
Bill Clinton: Pimp we can believe in. - The Shirt!!!
I can't beleve boogers didn't rate purdy high on the list. Don't those english types pick their noses?
I was in a dimly lit room full of test machines the other day and felt something on the shift key. I flipped on the light and there sat a dried booger flake.
- Nose and the 5 boogers, pick it boys
Wansu, th' chinese sailor
Worst I had to clean up was a coffee spill in a keyboard from a cow orker with a serious dandruff problem. While doing the cleanup, I discovered something else amusing.
Of course you did. He was spending his time at work orking cows! What did you expect????
General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
My house has about (give or take) 6 cats.
Once when I was about 17 I popped off all the
keys to my keyboard because my enter key had ceased functioning -- and there was enough cat hair underneath to build a whole cat.
If only lego mindstorms were around, perhaps I would have succeeded.
Seeing this comment about $10 keyboards makes me want to cry. These things are the worst kinds of shit imaginable. A good keyboard will last a decade or more. The really great keyboards just feel right, too, not like the $10 crapola that makes you feel like you are typing in oatmeal.
Places where you can get good keyboards are from Cherry Switch Inc. ; they sell the only 'clicky' USB model I have seen, and from PCKeyboards.com. Or if you are more adventurous you can scrounge a bit. The Apple Extended (original) was really excellent, as were almost any of the old IBMs. I recently hit the mother load with these - the insurance company that we share our building with threw out over 100 the PS/2 style AT keyboard - genuine IBM click and feel. I grabbed 7 or 8 of them, and now regret not backing the car up and grabbing them all. What a waste - the new equivalents to these cost $100 each.
Cool.
I actually have an old generic keyboard I don't use much. It has a switch on the bottom to toggle the codes from XT to AT. On bootup, it emits a short, loud, high-pitched beep every time you hit a key (unless you hit ctrl+pause.)
Another strange thing I noticed is that it has a Reset key. Instead of ctrl+alt+del, you just use ctrl+reset. (and the esc key is where the num lock key is on modern boards.)
I actually only use it when I'm playing around on my XT, but it's been around forever. That, and the old square 3-button Logitech mouse we got with our 286. It's immortal.
In Q1 and Q2, having the grenade launcher and rocket launcher right next to each other. That way, I don't mistakenly switch to the grenade launcher when I want the perforator/chaingun for doing close-up pepperings.
In Q3, I mirror back 7, 8, and 9 to R, E, and W, respectively. That way, I don't have to move my left hand away from the CTRL key (I'm surprised that this key isn't broken right now!). In Unreal Tournament, pretty much the same as Q3: 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 normal, then 6, 7, 8, 9, and 0 remapped to S, R, F, E, and Z, respectively (Z mapped to the sniper rifle).
There's my "Adapted DOOM" key configuration. How 'bout yours?
"Ancillary does not mean you get to rule the world." --U.S. Circuit Judge Harry Edwards, speaking to the FCC's lawyer
I cleaned my own just now, and here's what I found:
- Dog hair
- Crumbs from various snacks
- Sticky syrup from when I spilled Jones into it.
- Human hair
- Dust
- Lint
- A pea (i have *no* idea)
- A piece of nacho
Now, if I just had the guts to look under my sofa cushions....Got Rhinos?
The original IBM 101 key keyboard (yes, they predated the PS/2) were the best ever made. Not too loud and clicky, but tactile enough for the 100wpm forward/40wpm backwards touch typist.
Mine was attached to one of the last genuine IBM AT's ever made (vintage '86 - just before the PS/2).
G-d, how I loved that keyboard!
General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
keyboard dirty?
just drop that mofo into your bathtub with warm water and scrub it..
let it soak for a few hours and scrub again.
then, hang up (outside works) by its cord for a day or so... just like new!
I've been collecting all the gunk that I shake out of my keyboard and constructing it into a lifesize model of Jon Katz. With swivel-arm grip. I'll submit the story, complete with pictures, when it's done.
We must respect evil, and we must make evil respect us.
I would go for somthing in solid ebony (no labels on the keys, I know which is which!) with a four line lcd monitor and a scrambled rf transciever so I can code on the crapper. I don't need the clicking, just the action.
"..don't you eat that yellow snow."
....hair, finger-nail clippings, pieces of paper, pins, and occasionally moldy pieces of food.
That may sound disgusting, but it's not as bad as an ex-boyfriend's that was covered in dried semen, completely sickening!!!!!!
What's the best way to clean the keyboard?
but where are the obvious references to semen???
They can be purchased online. do a search.
Remember? I'm pounding on one now! Function keys on the left, ctrl where it began (what? no cap-lock on a TeleType?)
Clicking away--
-pea
What amazes me is that corn flakes were an actual, distinged segment of the keyboard-crud population. Noodles, I can understand, but... corn flakes? And where is the "dried coffee/coke stain" category?
I really am not interested in how they, um, <crunch>determined</crunch> exactly what various dessicated bits 'o blackened crud lodged under the keys were...
"Great men are not always wise: neither do the aged understand judgement." Job 32:9
I usually shake a dozen or so hemp seeds out of my keyboard every couple of weeks.
I use an old IBM keyboard thats about 10 years old. I can dump it upside down, shake it, and everything from cigarette ashes to hair fall out of it. Its a wonder it works. But hey, I can't complain, its better than those with the M$ logos on them. This is your plain old standard IBM keyboard.
I have a Model M as well, and mine was born on July 10 1987.
I aquired it when a co-worker brought it to me saying he dropped it on the floor and it was broken. I didn't realize what it was at first due to all the grime that had accumlated on it, but I clued in when I saw one of the keys without the applique. I gave him a cheap 20 dollar keyboard, asked him to bring me the stuff had popped off. Took it home, cleaned it up, and I've been using it happily ever since.
How's that for a heart warming story?
(I was only an egg, but then I cracked)
The keyboard I'm using right now has 24 keys that stores up to 320 key strokes, including backspace, control combinations, you name it. And they use machanical key switches so that they last near forever.
It's unrealistic to make the keys macro act like a little virus the way you stated, because 1. It will need to know whether the OS has the text editor opened and ready, which means that it will need to know the OS and somehow read from it.
There are, however, a few different approach that can get it done.
I dropped fruittttttttttttttttopia on ttttttttttthe lettttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttter 'ttttttttttttttttttttttttt'
::
-Swift
-Swift
I can only imagine what the results would have been if it were taken at an American college campus.
1. Dried Beer Residue (23%)
2. Dried Coffee Residue (15%)
3. Unidentified caffeinated particles (11%)
4. Doritos (6%)
...
If I shake my keyboard too hard, the keys will come off! Except on my laptop, where it might crash my hard drive.
.. when spilling beer into a keyboard actually made it work *better* .. yeah, this was a *very* old keyboard (Kaypro 10 I believe, running a heavily customized CP/M 2.2F) and the beer in question was Shiner Bock, which is bound to have different results than, say, Miller Light, but still .. they don't make'em like they used to ..
73 de N5VB (ex-KD5BIV) AR SK
I love Slashdot to death, but this is probably the least interesting thing I've read in about six months. It's not like there was anything suprising in the article... crumbs, hairs, dead skin, etc. No kidding. What the hell else would you expect to find in there? The article also noted that you can clean your keyboard by turning it upside down and shaking it, or by vaccuuming. Yeah, no shit? That's how you clean a keyboard? No wonder mine don't work after I run them through the wash.
And this is coming from me, a guy with a serious keyboard fetish. The keyboards they were shipping HP Vectras with a few years ago were divine! Dunno if they still make them. Heard IBM's top-of-the-line keyboards are sweet, too. I hate those $10 keyboards. :-)
OtakuBooty.com: Smart, funny, sexy nerds.
hmm.. metal.. gives me an idea.. anyone know where I can get a chrome keyboard, black lettering and NO keys with silly pictures of floating windows?
//rdj, uses a +/- 10 year old HP keyboard
No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee's frothy goodness.
--Sheikh Abd-Al-Kadir, 1587
On topic; I got those, a bunch of old IBM keyboards, and other assorted misc from a school. I could tell from the crud where the keyboard had been used; the students lives as seen from keycrud accumulation are much more interesting than the staff's.
I've got the same kind at home. Here's what I do:
1. Start vacuum and place business end facing up in the air
2. Overturn keyboard directly above said business end
3. Hit keyboard with hammer.
I'm eyeing up a used paintshaker that the local hardware store has put up for sale
--
...Time is the best teacher, unfortunately it kills all of its students.
People are talking about the IBM PS/2 Model M keyboards. The really heavy clicky ones.
Well, I just went out into my garage and looked at my pile of them. I have 8, none of which I've used. I bought them in a lot of other stuff from a state surplus sale. Most were manufactured in 1993, but I think I have one or 2 1994s.
I'm not using them, and I likely won't (I use a Kinesis keyboard), so, I'll offer them for sale (cheap). Get them out of my garage.
I realize Slashdot isn't the proper place to handle this, but oh well. If you are interested, contact me at oldibmkeyboards@drapple.com
A few years ago I spilled some think-as-gravy homemade stout (beer like Guiness, dontchaknow?) into the numberpad region on my old IBM PS/2 keyboard. I rarely used the numberpad back then so I mopped up what I could and kept typing.
I didn't get killed by a jolt of electricity and the other keys worked fine so I just forgot the whole thing. It wasn't long before the stout dried to a glue-like mass. Working the keys for a while freed them and now the whole thing works like a charm...
I am still using the same keyboard and refuse to clean it due to a superstitious fear that if I disassemble the old beast it will never be the same again!
--8<--
--8<--
Various particles resembling cereal grains, biscuit crumbs, bread crumbs, pastry flakes and chocolate crumbs (56%)
We don't want all of that to go to waste! Lets market it as a new cereal, Keyboard Krunch(tm)!
Part of this balanced breakfast.
eeeeewwwwwww.....
---
I wear pants.
What you can do about dirty mouse Balls
Ever hook up the keyboard when it is apart? Typing on those three plastic layers without the rest of the keyboard is fun, if you remember where all the keys are. I actually almost typed a full sentence without the keys at all. It would be cool to brag that your keyboard is less than 1mm thick.
-----------------------------
I've had enough abrasive sigs. Kittens are cute and fuzzy.
You can tell smoking geeks by their keyboard gunk. Which usually winds up being 60% ash.
...
. ""The future masters of technology will have to be lighthearted and
- My Blog - http://www.memestreams.net/users/rattle/
Talking of which... my keyboard is way pass due for a good cleaning. Anyone can suggest a good way to do so without running it?
-Earthling
-Earthling
"I'm sorry, I had to; the irony was just too thick."
No, they are fingernail pairings.
See, this one is from my left pinkie and this one is from my right pinkie. This one is from my left ring finger and that one is from my right ring finger. These two are from my thumbs . . .
~ I haven't lost my mind. It's backed up on tape somewhere.
"Alternatively, users can remove the keys, and vacuum, blow or shake off the dirt beneath."
I dun't mnuw whara tu qot thak becm;
Eriau;
I used to have one of those plastic things on my keyboard. But after one too many jokes about how my keyboard needed a 'splashguard' for when my door was closed, I decided I'd rather just replace the damn thing when it got dirty.
---
... to use a Happy Hacking keyboard: they are a smaller target for "food crumbs..., dead insects..., dead skin, and hair".
Nice?!
Those things suck sweaty TacoBalls! We used to use them on the shop floor, and even the one finger hunt-and-peck line supervisors had trouble using them accurately. Touch-typing is impossible.
--
http://store.yahoo.com/pckeyboards/ibm101.html
I have one (but it cost me nothing - a gift from a friend) and it's absolutely fantastic.
Those $10 keyboards are shite, and I won't disgrace my computer with one.
--
Peter
If your keyboard has an "Alt Gr" key, maybe you bought one with European (e.g. German or French) layout.
Personally, they are perfectly usable, but for programming they are quite useless compared to a usual English/American style keyboard, because the braces ({[]}) are only reachable at an unconvenient way.
I have two really old (10-12 years?) IBM keyboards from the original RS6K line. Metal cases with that great tactial feedback and click when you hit a key. I buy one a year from ebay, just so I have one if I need it. -Rob
I picked up for $11.95 one of those GW2K Anykey boards, with 124 keys, extra Fkeys, fully macroprogrammable, supports 1024 max macros... 8 way directional pad... it rocks!
At work I have one with a calculator for a numeric keypad and PF keys too... <grin>
IBM had PL/1, with syntax worse than JOSS,
And everywhere the language went, it was a total loss...
A co-worker spilled coffe into his keyboard, which happily started to delete his work-log at a frightening speed. :-)
Before he yanked the keyboard out, it had deleted over a month of his time from our database.
/.Mattsson - My native language is not English, so please don't whine over linguistic errors. (That's lame anyway...)
The date of manufacture on my keyboard (printed on the bottom) is 27 September 1988.
Quality gear.
--
Peter
http://store.yahoo.com/pckeyboards/ibm101.htmlr .html
http://store.yahoo.com/pckeyboards/ibmspacesave
Go forth and type noisily!
--
Peter
Most older AT style keyboards had a switch to change between XT and AT modes. (Actually, IIRC the 84 key I is technically an XT keyboard)
:) switch it, and try again.
:)
If you don't have that switch, it may mean that the keyboard is XT only. (Quite possible)
If you can find a switch (if it's many dip switches, I'd recommend writing down the current config, then flipping til you get something that works.
Of course, there is always the possibility that it is just broken, but what can you expect for free?
especially if you have any amount of dandruff
but what's grosser is the stuff stuck on the sides of the keys and around the keys..
probably dust stuck on oils from my fingers.. gets on my mouse too. ewie.
Apparently you can put most keyboards in the dishwasher to clean them.. because the electronics are sealed off.
"I haven't figured out how to clean my glorious old PS/2 keyboard yet, though, mainly because I'm afraid I'll break it. It would be *impossible* to find a suitable replacement."
Not true. See my earlier postings for the URL.
--
Peter
Now that's what I'm talkin' about. Would'ja look at the shipping weight for the two (18 lbs!) Now if we could just convert...
"..don't you eat that yellow snow."
we need disposable keyboards. a week or so of use and then trashed. imagine the marketing potential: Sanitary Keyboard, helps reduce the spread of bacteria."
what the hell...
No i don't have any witty comments or links! just my .sig
He might have to buy more than one keyboard cover, since keyboards tend to vary in size, shape and layout....unless of course he just carries around a really thin piece of flat plastic to lay over the keyboards.
"As I always say, why jack-off when you can jack-in!" - Plughead from "Circuitry Man" (1990)
Who needs to build your own?
:)
I was looking on ebay and guess what I found.
Careful though, you just may be bidding against me, and there are only two days left...
If you wear out your keyboards by typing, soon enough you will wear out your hands, trust me, and you cant buy those for 10 bucks.
Sneakemail is to spam filters what an ounce of prevention is to a pound of cure.
I have to clean them out of my cereal box every morning. I don't know how the darn things get in there. . .
It's rare that you're presented with a knob whose only two positions are Make History and Flee Your Glorious Destiny.
Such things do exist; search your favourite on-line supplier.
Here's one:
http://www.allusb.com/products/P10902.html
--
Peter
Most of what's in my keyboard is lint. Where the HELL does that come from? I clean a lot of it out of my mouse on a regular basis too. Pisses me off.
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
There's a guy at the office that has the nastiest keyboard I've ever seen. Not only does it smell bad, but there is a thick layer of slimy silly-putty-like stuff covering all the keys... food residue? I had the luxury of editing some code on his machine today and it's a great way to boost productivity, ala "I need to finish to get away from this keyboard!!".
Enjoy
--ChrisB
Skiers and Riders -- http://www.snowjournal.com
I think I've got some nano-snipers hiding in my keyboard.
In fact I'm almost certain. I'm getting quite worried about it. I'm going to have to draft in some micro-mercanaries.
They'll never take me alive
comeontheni'lltakeyouallon
True, I didn't make that sentence very clear. I have two of the 'normal' US versions of the non clicking keyboard. But I have seen a few of the same type in Mexico, but with the annoying Alt-GR key...
I'm aware this is mildly offtopic, but as we're discussing the replacement of keyboards, I was curious if anyone knew where I could get a good one.
Mine, I suspect, contains enough fossils to fuel a car, and I want a new one. But, as an old-school XT'er, I'm accustomed to a good 'ol "clicky" keyboard. Y'know, the ones that make it sound like you're really DOING something at work, even when you're just replying to Slashdot articles. ^_^
I went to Fry's (just to test, not to purchase, of course), and couldn't find any I liked in their entire aisle. Who here remembers those incredible, 5lbs IBM-made tanks that took a semi truck to damage, could survive a case of orange soda, and gave a bullhorn-augmented typewriter a run for its money in audible response? I _loved_ those things!
Anyways, just curious if anyone had any info on companies still producing a "man's keyboard".
Thanks!
---
During a good size lag or installing software, I usually get out a credit card and run it between the keys (horizontal and vertical). Upon reaching the end of a key or keys in a row, the crap comes up from the bottom of the keyboard. I then grab it and put it into a pile accumulated in front of the monitor. I do this every 3 days or so. Hopefully this will be helpful advice for someone :). It seems that a credit card is a good solution for many problems.
More importantly, thou, is what to call that crap. I'm sure there was a Ren & Stimpy episode about keyboard crap? Maybe it should be called keyapp? Any suggestions?
recently i dumped a few ounces of coke on my keyboard, and suddenly the 'R' key became tab, the entire bottom row ceased to work, and the numbers got all scrambled. pretty much the only thing that functioned was the semi-colon key, but i mean, who uses that thing anyway? so i pried the whole thing apart, and on the advice of a friend took it into the shower and sprayed all the hideous, horrible debris off the keys and the pad underneath. i found the hair and the lint and the nails, but what disturbed me the most was that the majority of the gunk was cemented onto the keys and melted off. this keyboard was probably around for a few years and had never been cleaned, and the crap on it slid down the drain in an industrial-green slick. barf. i air-dried the whole thing lovingly, put it back together, and it still didn't work. it's mightily clean, though.
Actually I like fridgeOS. Its pretty straight forward: door open = light on.
For the Keyboard Krunch (tm) cereal, we should have our own survivor contest with slashdotters, the winner gets to be on the cereal box! :)
tewl
At $10 for a new one can you really be arsed to clean it. I install PCs for my company, and replace my keyboard every few weeks with a new one, before it looks old, so i can give it to someone with their new pc
How somebody gets one in their keyboard, I have no idea...
--
Never mind Spamassassin. When's Spammerassassin coming out?
What's really going to kill me in the future is that I type with the base of my palms on the table/desk. I'm just asking for Carpal Tunnel or something. Perhaps if I were a Real Touch Typist (tm), this wouldn't happen, because my hands would constantly hover an inch in the air? (Yes, I've tried pulling the keyboard to the edge of the desk. I do't like it.)
In conlusion, my typing suits me nicely, and your ability to touch-type doesn't matter much on a resume unless you're a secretary. If you are a secretary, I've been looking for someone to type my long-winded Slashdot posts. Interested? ;-)
The one advantage from my standpoint is less typos. I've always heard that Real Touch Typists (tm), in addition to being virile space aliens with life spans of over 150 years and fifteen inch genetalia, also never make typos.
---------///----------
All generalizations are false.
--
I like to watch.
but did they find any petrol in there? ------- for the uk geek only.
Ok, whatever..
--
Never hit your grandmother with a shovel, for it leaves a bad impression on her mind...
At my last work place, they used to service Apple IIe's... Of course the schools had tons of `em... One time the local highschool brought one in for "cleaning" and told `em some kid got sick on the keyboard. The sucker was full of puke...
Never even bothered to ask if they got it working or not. (Bet stomach acid does wonders for any PCB)
I just felt sorry for the poor sap that had to work on it... Nasty.
Sotaku
Those little bits of fingernail that you trim away are called "parings" not "pairings". Parings as in to "pare" or trim your nails.
Sorry to get pedantic on you, but somebody had to.
--Jim
Yeah, I'm nitpicking, but that's the second time in the last couple of days I've seen it misspelled. The right spelling is easy to remember, it's made up only of the first letters of the four DNA bases: Guanine, Adenine, Thymine and Cytosine. No "i", nothing to do with the various places named "Attica".
(The sequence GATTACA doesn't code for anything in particular. GAT codes for aspartic acid and TAC codes for tyrosine, and there's a base left over.)
No, no, no. It ain't ME babe,
It ain't ME you're looking for.
-- Alastair
The Jargon File called it "keyboard dandruff"... apparently that entry was lost somewhere in the 4.x Jargon series...
N4st0r, trixx0r h0bb1tz0rz! Th3y st0l3 0ur pr3c10uzz!
The only original equipment from that machine that I still own is the keyboard, and I still use it.
While it was originally that particular shade of beige/ecru that most PC keyboards were molded in at that time it is not a colour not found in nature, some odd combination of grey-brown-green-orange. It doesn't reflect light the same way that other materials do.
In fact, I haven't upended it to clean out the cruft in more than two years.
Strangely enough, the only fault with the keyboard is that my left shift-key contact is getting worn. Other than that, it works perfectly. I may never replace it.
A quick calculation tells me that I've likely written more than 8,000,000 words on it during its lifetime.
And since I subject it to massive damage playing MAME arcade games on it, it's all the more amazing that it's survived as long and as well as it has.
--
www.kitchengeek.com -- Nosh for
OOOOOOH Chocolate keyboards (munch, munch)
I've only had this keyboard for about 4 months. Not quite long enough to build up a sufficient layer of crud. Keyboards at home are decorated with the residue of any variety of greasy chips. Dots of pasta sauce decorate the keyboard, 4mm tape, cd drive, cpu and monitor. Uh.. hair, crumbs and stuff, which makes the crud puppy look like Martha Stewart, is tucked in between the keys. Keys don't often stick and I'm usually careful enough to spill liquid (coffee, soup, romulan noodles, etc.) on my clothes than accidentally clean out the crevices of the keyboard. Who knows, someday the world may come crashing down and all we'll have for food is keyboard soup. 8^)
Vote Naked 2000
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
The electronics are encased in plastic, so you could probably stick it in a dishwasher to clean it(haven't tried it though). I have spilled entire glasses of water on it and it was fine when it dried(clean too!)
Here's what I think would be really useful - a keyboard that allowed you to store keystroke macros. Like say, a macro that opened up an editor, typed in a program, ran said program, and finished up by deleting said program from the computer. Heh, heh.
No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?
I use a M$ Natural Elite, it's more expensive but worth the money.
---
Worst I had to clean up was a coffee spill in a keyboard from a cow orker with a serious dandruff problem. While doing the cleanup, I discovered something else amusing.
In the case I experienced, I pretended not to notice, because, what the hell, HR's not my job, and the cow orker in question was getting the work done. But it may come in handy should you ever have to break out the Bag Of Dirty Tricks.
I even hesitate to publicize this, but what the hell. No such thing as security through obscurity, right?
"How to determine the amount of time your SO (or a problem cow orker( is spending surfing for pr0n:"
- Take a small jeweller's screwdriver.
- Run the screwdriver the length of the keyboard between two rows of keys.
- Lift the screwdriver and examine the hair.
- Depending on hairstyle, the ratio of pubes to straight hairs is directly proportional to the amount of time spent surfing for pr0n.
In a corporate environment, that's probably probable cause for an investigation. Best to do this discreetly on your HR manager's 'puter first to see if it's gonna work.Of course, I must now add the following corollary:
Wow.. that explains everything. I have a really dirty keyboard and have been using the same one for about 4 years now (although I'm sure more people have used it before that). hmm.....
AOL UK estimates that almost 0.318 tonnes of what it calls "keyboard krumbs" will accumulate beneath all keyboards over the space of a year.
So according to this study my keyboard must weigh at least 1.2 tonnes! That would definitely explain my need for a new desk. Think I'll put in the request to management now.
How we know is more important than what we know.
no wonder you go through so many keyboards.. those $10 keyboards are the worst made pieces of garbage you can get. Theya re not designed to suffer any misuse thus the ridiculous pricetag. I recommend findin a nice northgate keyboard.. the company is no longer in business but the keyboards are durable and comfortable. Almost as durable as the original IBM AT style keyboards.. the IBM AT style ps/2 keyboards are the most durable, best built keyboard you will find.. I personally have collected a few of these are they are no longer manufactured.. each one, at least 5 year old or older works perfectly.. Now mind you, i am rather nice to my keyboards.. dont spill stuff in them and I clean them out once in a while.. but the keyboards never miss a key. IF you spill something on these keyboards, you may not even notice.. If you make a real mess.. you can just hose down the keyboard with water.. yes.. you can even put them in the shower.. Just make sure to let them completely dry out before trying to plug them back in. You can probably pick a handful of them on ebay for under $20 on ebay.. A friend of mine found a stock of 10 of these for that amount and one will outlast all the other keyboards you have ever used. These things are heavy.. metal parts and strong tactile feedback. I will never get rid of these keyboards.. It just goes to show that IBM CAN make a product that will outlast all its competitors. Since they are no longer made, I always want to make sure I never run out. Be cautioned though.. these are the click type keyboards that were a bit more popular in the "80's" and make a fair amount of noise when used.. Thankfully, that is my preference. Good luck and good keyboarding...
It happens.
I bet 30+ per cent of that was actual dried up sperm. They just could not say that on CNN. C'mon, mix of cum and pubic hair. :)
P.S. That was one of the most useless facts in this year. Way to go, /.!!!
http://dtum.livejournal.com
At least for those smokers who don't smoke pre-rolled cigarettes, but who roll their own.
A guy I know once mentioned he'd turn his keyboard upside down whenever he was out of rolling tobacco and it was too late at night to actually go buy some. He claimed there was usually enough tobacco residue in there to keep smoking until the stores opened.
News and bla for computer musicians: http://lomechanik.net/
The strangest thing I ever found in a keyboard was a dead mouse (the biological kind, not the peripheral kind). It was an old Apple IIe, one of those machines with the keyboard and motherboard all in the same box. It was used for stock control in a factory in the South East of England. The nearest we could guess was that the mouse had crawled in through one of the unused connector holes at the back of the machine.
The worst aspect of this incident was the fact that I only found the mouse due to the smell. It appeared that it had become lodged between the keyboard PCB and the casing. This had obviously caused it some distress, as it had apparently urinated before expiring. Beats the hell out of the usual Coke stains for both odour AND durability, I can tell you!
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The gift of death metal does not smile on the good looking.
> To keep keyboards spruce, office cleaning
> firms recommend that people regularly hold
> their keyboard upside down and shake them
> vigorously to dislodge the debris.
> Alternatively, users can remove the keys, and
> vacuum, blow or shake off the dirt beneath.
Amateurs.
1. Disassemble keyboard. Take EVERYTHING apart.
2. Wash case pieces in warm soapy water.
3a. Wash keycaps in warm soapy water, or
3b. Swab down keycaps, inside and out, with isopropyl alcohol.
4. Rinse that sheet of "rubber nipples" in warm water. (soap optional)
5. Wipe down the plastic circuit membranes with isopropyl alcohol. (alcohol prep pads from medical supply stores work great -- I perfected this technique while working at a hospital)
6. Allow everything to dry thoroughly.
7. Reassemble keyboard.
This works for about 90% of keyboards out there. I haven't figured out how to clean my glorious old PS/2 keyboard yet, though, mainly because I'm afraid I'll break it. It would be *impossible* to find a suitable replacement.
--LordEq
Hrm, # of keyboards * 2grams * 12 months = enough to feed a third world country.
There's a gorilla from Manilla whose a fella that stinks of vanilla and has salmonella.
...about other people's keyboards is this: after seeing random people leave the rest room without washing their hands, I can't help but wonder what the E. coli content of keyboards is. Yecch.
In addition to IBM, DEC also made great keyboards. The LK-201, which was on the VT-220 and VT-320 terminals, as well as the VAXstation and early Alpha workstations, is my favorite keyboard. Plus, it had all of the extra VMS keys, and not just the standard PC layout. It felt great, and real keyboard clicks, red LED's, and everything. Too bad they cannot connect to a PC! (I have a couple of Alpha's here with PC keyboards - the blasphemy!)
When I've just found an ant colony in my keyboard!
Cool!
:)
Ok, I've always thought I understood most British words pretty well. Heck, I'm even reading a great series of books by a Brit, and it's heavy on the 'bloody lorry tyres' and such.
But can anyone please tell me just what the hell 'boiled sweets' are? Pretty please?
i have 5 of these dating back to the 80's. clickie, mechanical tactile feel at its best. the noise drives co-workers nuts (which for the people on NT means a short trip). you can never wear those things out....when they get dirty just pull a few of the key covers off and give it a good shake.
I bought one about a year ago, under the "Options from IBM" name. IBM has a notice about its limited Options Continuation Program, where it links to vendors who still carry the Options line of peripherals. I guess the Options program was discontinued by IBM sometime in the last year.
A company called I. T. Exchange is one of these Options partners, and has a keyboard/mouse inventory list, but none of the keyboards seem to be in the normal price range for one of the really nice keyboards (they were about $100.00 when I bought my last one), and I don't recognize any of the model numbers. Who knows--maybe they've got them in bulk and are trying to get rid of them at less than $20.00 each!
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About Taco talking about having to replace his $10 keyboards often -- I say get a real keyboard!
The keyboard that I am typing this on is an IBM Enhanced keyboard that came as original equipment on a PC/AT, manufacturing date: July 10, 1986. It literally has been used CONSTANTLY since then and shows no sign of ever giving up.
Well, the right control key kind of sticks ever since the Kool-Aid accident...
I recommend both the IBM enhanced (Unicomp still sells them brand new at http://www.pckeyboard.com/) and the Northgate Omnikey line. They actually use METAL in their construction, imagine that. The part of your computer that gets beat on constantly shouldn't made of flimsy plastic.
zsazsaroo
one suggestion, never take apart a M$ natural keyboard (the old ones, not the new ones), it is a
pain to get apart and a REALLY big pain to put back together, I did get it working after spending
a half a day of work cleaning it out.
I am another person who prefers keyboards with CLICK, I liked the Zeos keyboards (but nothing else about em) they were not quite IBM quality
but still had some click to em.
Guttermouth is a really good band.
I use KeyTronic keyboards both at home and at work. I can see all sorts of crap that's gotten between the keys, but thankfully they keep on working. I love the feel of the keys. I'm sure I'm the dissenting opinion here, but I hate the super-clicky PS/2-style boards. I also enjoy having a super-sized Enter key and having the backslash at the upper right corner to the left of BackSpace.
To anyone else who has KeyTronic (turn the keyboard upside-down and look at the label on the bottom), how does open one of these to clean it? There are no screws on the keyboard anywhere. I can blast a compressed-air can between the keys, but that must miss a lot.
Any suggestions? My keyboard at home is a circa-1995 101-key keyboard with an old-school 5-pin DIN plug. I do not want to get the 104-key variety with the infernal "Windows" keys, and I certainly don't one with the "Internet" keys or "Power" keys. There's nothing worse than playing a DOS game and accidentally hitting the Windows logo when you intended to hit Control or Alt and getting popped out of your game.
I was a co-op student with IBM when the ill-starred PCjr came out. One of the great things about it was the keyboard, after they got rid of the "Chicklet"(tm) keys and put real key caps on them. The first business show I did after the PCjr was introduced, we shipped two keyboards for each PCjr on display, and a dishwasher. The booth was plumbed, and at any time, half the keyboards were connected to PCjrs on display and the other half were in the dishwasher and the dishwasher was running. Halfway through the spiel, we'd start talking about how the keyboard was water proof and "gunk" proof, disconnect the keyboard, walk (drag the prospect) over to the dishwasher, swap the keyboard with one in the dishwasher, walk (drag the prospect) back to the PCjr, hook up the keyboard, and continue the demonstration. Over four eight-hour days I must've performed two hundred "keyboard washings".
My keyboard is full of STARS!!!
If tits were wings it'd be flying around.
i once talked to a guy who would stick his dirty keyboard in the dishwasher then let it air dry.
Spllied ketchup on mlne once. Took the keys off and cieaned lt. Lt wasn't untli a month later, when someone trled to use my keyboard, that L realized L swltched a couple of keys when L put them back. Guess my typlng skllis were better than thlers.
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Built on a curved sheet of heavy steel, coil springs for each key, completely indistructable and easily disassembled for cleaning. Typing on one of those was hyptnotic and felt powerful, like operating heavy machinery or firing a machine gun. I guess I am old fashoned about some things, but if somthing isn't broke don't fix it. (And, I will never give up my old Royal portable, manual typewriter, even if I do get an AlphaSmart.)
"..don't you eat that yellow snow."
After parting with the Atari Mega ST keyboard with RTS keycaps that I was using for ages (because it had one microswitch for each key - unbeatable reliability and quite good feedback, and with the better keycaps the keys were even discernible without looking ;-)), I sticked for some time (literally) with an Escom $8 keyboard that I eventually replaced after I had spilled some apple juice on it. I tried to remove it all, but half a year later suddenly some keys started working rather erratically. When I took the keyboard apart, I found a think layer of green fungus that was happily evolving in my keyboard. While it was a bit sad to throw this #1 biological experiment away, it needed replacement sooner or later. Now I'm on a Logitech cordless keyboard which, even though blamed a lot, feels quite nice. The click might be more audible, but the tactile feedback is there (and I'm a heavy typer).
Well, that was my share in the universal disgust contest that seems to be developing here. :-))
As a state gets corrupt, its laws multiply; the most corrupt states have the most numerous laws. (Tacitus, Annales 3:27)
I just posted an article also praising the virtues of the IBM clickies. You can buy new ones at UniComp. I also bought a couple extras on ebay for $5/piece.
My main one shows no signs of slowing down after 14 years, though. I do hope that UniComp makes a USB version shall the PS/2 keyboard jack ever go away permaneantly. Or, does a PS/2->USB converter box exist?
zsazsaroo
Yeah - IBM built the best keyboards ever - years ago. My newest one is from a 286 PS/2 out of '85. They where attached to some lab computers where I did my civil service. When I left there I just bought some $10-boards and simply replaced them - and no one cared - so much for lab rats... Now I own a collection of three and take them to every new job which usually results in some kind of laughing and even complaints about the loud clicks. It usually stops when I invite them to test it out: "Hey, have you got any spare ones of these???" :)
Bye
Sven
This is an all time new low for stories... just reading the subject line makes me drowzy. Even the article is only about half a page long, who cares what gets under the keys in your keyboard? How is that news for nerds? Shake the keyboard upside down to clear the crud... a true poweruser tip... This is the lamest story of all time
It did, however, take many hours of scrubbing with a strong detergent to get all the crud out. But what do you expect after nine years of daily use?
Hey, you could claim to have the first mouse hooked up to your computer!
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Let loose a bunch of nano-ants to get in there and eat all the organic matter. Maybe some genetically engineered micro-leeches.
Naw, they might secretly send out embarassing email at night when they are supposed to be working. Either that, or they will communicate with other nano-janitors all over the world, and some Monday morning, when everyone comes in for work, we will all be eaten alive by swarms of these things.
Thank god you can get keyboards for ten bucks!
:-]
Yeah, but some keyboards can be much more expensive to replace.... So far, I've been rather lucky.
Actually, I'm surprised none of the Mac regulars here have brought up the Apple Extended Keyboard II, the finest typing device ever to come from the six-colored halls of Cupertino (well, the design, anyway; the keyboards themselves were made IIRC in Cork, Ireland). Its codename was "Saratoga", with good reason: it was big, brawny, and built to last. Fabulous keyfeel, and able to withstand a pounding from late-night Marathon sessions. Even better; if you lost, the durable construction and extra-long ADB cable made it easy to slam it against your desk, or (better yet) your opponent.
Today's model is OK, but it can't hold a candle to the original.
I use Macs for work, Linux for education, and Windows for cardplaying.
Has anyone taken any photos with an electronic microscope in a keyboard? This would be an interesting sight. :)
I wonder how many ants I squished in my keyboards. Hmm!
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
My preferred method is a paperclip bent out of shape. Anything more than that and I deserve a new keyboard.
Listen, Sigmund, we'll discuss it in the morning.
Check out eBay!
Although I finally had to give up on my IBM AT 84 keyboards (one was from my genuine IBM 6mhz AT!), I needed F11 and F12, and some new motherboards hang with a AT 84 keyboard.
My middle ground was to buy a pile of IBM 101 keyboards last year, and used the Ctrl and Caps Lock key caps from my 84key keyboards to replace the backwards Ctrl/CapsLock keys on my IBM 101s.
There are programs for Win9x and WinNT and Win2K to swap the mapping of Ctrl and CapsLock.
Of course I still HATE zooming past the useless new arrow/pgup/home cluster to get to the real arrow keys 3 inches further away.
But then I hate not being able to use Ctrl-C and Ctrl-S in Brief under Win2000 because of a bug in Microsofts OS/2 Console app support (which worked fine in WinNT).
Back when we used to compose type on those old Varityper 5810s and 6400s (1983-91), we had to occasionally clean the keyboards because a new one was around 6-700 bucks. (A 20 meg "Winchester" drive was about $3000). I ran a 12 person type shop, and used to find the nastiest sh*t in them - ear wax, food particles, boogers, dandruff, and other assorted bodily ejecta. It's fscking amazing the amount of debris the human body jettisons.
to build and offer us a converter for these old 'boards.
"..don't you eat that yellow snow."
If it's good enough to be the number one thing finding its way into British keyboards, someone could make a mint marketing this stuff to the US! Just think.. Put down that bag of chips! Throw away that sandwich! Why not enjoy a tasty boiled sweet instead?
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Comment removed based on user account deletion
Actually, I like the tiny arrow keys.
Them being so small and close together I can operate them with my right little finger. without moving my right hand while typing. I din't notice it at first but I was using it a lot without ever thinking about it.
pretty ingenious.
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At work, I use an 84-key IBM AT keyboard. This thing was made somewhere around 1984 to 1985, and it is the King of Keyboards, but I won't go into all the things I love about it. What's important is that I am the only person who ever uses it (other people get lost when try try to work at my workstation with its 84-key keyboard and OS/2), and I have used it for a long time (since about 1988, I think).
I cleaned it once around 1993, and then a few weeks ago (August 2000) the keyboard finally experienced its second cleaning. This involved opening the keyboard to clean it out, and also removing each key individually and lovingly scrubbing it by hand in warm soapy water. I stayed late one night to do this, and the boss popped by. He said something along the lines of "We have people who can do that for you," referring to the gofer girls who are usually bored silly and chatter all day long when I'm trying to work in peace. The thought of one of those passionless dimwits operating on my precious keyboard, made me shudder with revulsion. I said, "Does a true warrior have a peasant sharpen his sword?"
The greasy black grime came off the keys quite nicely. "Ah, so that key is labelled F8, huh? Yeah, now that I think of it, I remember having an F8 key."
What I found inside was:
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As copyright owner of this comment, I authorize everyone to defeat any technological measure which limits access to it.
... i dont want to sound like a pig, but every
male keyboard must have at least one pubic hair.
(I guess i just confesed that at least once
i have scratched my equipment when typing...
what one must do for karma)
This paid my last vacation, it mi