When Mac Freaks Congregate

abhikhurana writes "Wired.com has an interesting story about a recent get-together of Mac Freaks in Amsterdam. Apparently to pass the time, they amused themselves by tossing Windows PCs, making Mac porn and holding a look-alike competition to find the best Ellen Feiss look-alike, the teenage star of one of Apple's new 'Switch' commercials. I especially enjoyed Mac porn, but hey, if you are under 18, don't click the above link ;-)."

Comments

funny

[standsolid]

sleazy is a good website. lol, i needed a laugh. but afterseeng those hot macs, I got boyjuice all over my keys.

Re:funny

[EvilAlien]

I'm slightly afraid that you didn't intend that to be humorous...

Re:funny

[Ilan Volow]

If macs get you that excited, shouldn't you call it "apple juice"?

Re:funny

[bluefusion]

:) That just about made my day, lol.

not to be a party pooper

[Em Emalb]

but a lot of people aren't fortunate enough to have computers. Throwing away pcs for the sheer thrill of it is just plain wrong.

Re:not to be a party pooper

[Anonymous Coward]

A lot of people aren't fortunate enough to have automobiles, but if these freaks wanted to get together and trash their cars...well, who are we to stop them?

Re:not to be a party pooper

[manly_15]

Looking closely at this picture, it seems like the computers were old 386 era systems. They were probably broken all ready, not really worth the time to fix them. Then again, they probably all broke once Windows 3.11 was installed on them... ;-)

Re:not to be a party pooper

[Anonymous Coward]

"...ending is better than mending..."

Re:not to be a party pooper

[Anonymous Coward]

A lot of people aren't fortunate enough to have plastic either, but how often have you thrown away a plastic wrapper?

Re:not to be a party pooper

[Syncdata]

I don't ever want to hear anymore sanctimony about from Europeans about how wasteful Americans are. Tossing computers? How is that anything other than wasteful? I'm sure it was a great catharsis for all involved, but c'mon now.

Re:not to be a party pooper

[Anonymous Coward]

Unless they're Macs, in which case they should burn in hell!

Re:not to be a party pooper

[Anonymous Coward]

Alot of people aren't fortunate enough to have fast CPUs, but if these freaks want to get together and trash their CPUs through overclocking them... well, who are we to stop them?

Re:not to be a party pooper

[moonbender]

Right. Because this kind of humorous "wasting" is totally equivalent to the negligent wasting typically evident in the western world.

Re:not to be a party pooper

[Tokerat]

1. I doubt they where functional. Who wants to go buy a working computer for any price just to throw it in a parking lot?
2. Your comment does nothing but justify these guys actions. The PC zelot crowd would have no problem playing "iMac Toss" (at least ours comes with handles so you have the option). So who cares if the Mac zelots do the same thing?

Keep in mind these guys are not the norm, they are the exception. I'm a Mac "freak" myself, bigtime, but I don't go looking for Ellen look-alikes (uhh BTW Ellen Fiess is 14) or throwing PCs (although I did help some drunken friends film a monitor dropping off a 5th story roof in downtown southie Boston at 3AM, but that's another story...), or making "computer pr0n" by stacking laptops on one another and pluging them together with FireWire cables (although, I do alot of DV editing :-D ). Frankly it's because I don't care about that crap, I dont' have the free time, and, most importantly, I'm not European ;-)

Seriously though, some Mac zelots are weird. I support Apple as a strong company with good goals, but I dont' have a chunk of carpet in a plastic bag labeled "MacWorld Expo 2001 NYC, stage left (STEVE WAS HERE!!!!!!!)", if you catch my drift...

Re:not to be a party pooper

[blitziod]

they whre windows machines...the people trashing them where doing the les fortunate a favor by keeping them from having them.

Re:not to be a party pooper

[lpontiac]

(uhh BTW Ellen Fiess is 14)

Hmm, so the 4 year countdown begins now? :) If there isn't a site counting down the days already..

(I'm joking. Although, come to think of it, not about there probably being a site already doing it..)

Re:not to be a party pooper

[Anonymous Coward]

What if I _want_ a 386 era computer

Re:not to be a party pooper

[Wavicle]

(uhh BTW Ellen Fiess is 14)

She's like bleep-beep-beep-bleep-beep 14. It was a really good 14 years. Her not being 18 it's kind of... a bummer.

Re:not to be a party pooper

[jasonbw]

i kinda felt the same way when i saw the guy shooting the imac at a firing range a few years back. Mind you, that one was still relatively new at the time.

Re:not to be a party pooper

[Bobartig]

Then go to a pawn shop or used computer store and pick one up for $20. Or better yet come to Portland, ME, my neighbor throws out about 1 per week.

Re:not to be a party pooper

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey, if there's grass on the field, play ball.
If there's no grass, play in the mud ;)

required lude joke

[linuxrob]

wanna touch my 3.5" floppy?

Re:required lude joke

[Anonymous Coward]

What about my 5 1/4"?

They call me the "commodor"

Re:required lude joke

[Anonymous Coward]

Boy I'd like to mount some of those hard drives!

Re:required lude joke

[Anonymous Coward]

Shouldn't that be lewd?

Re:required lude joke

[Mononoke]

What about my 8"?

Re:required lude joke

[soapvox]

May I use my scsi probe (old mac joke)

Re:required lude joke

[whee]

This is exactly why Apple computers do not ship with floppies.

Who wants to touch your 3.5" floppy when you can touch a 4.625" hard disc?

Re:required lude joke

[Loligo]

>Shouldn't that be lewd?

Maybe he was on 'ludes when he wrote it.

-l

Re:required lude joke

[falzer]

> May I use my scsi probe (old mac joke)

You mean the alternate scsi pronunciation that never caught on?

Re:required lude joke

[EvanED]

>>This is exactly why Apple computers do not ship with floppies.

You missed that most of the pics were from the era when they did.

Re:required lude joke

[KillerKane]

Ahh, for the mainframe days, when huge hard disks were 18" in diameter and you had to screw them in by hand....

Re:required lude joke

[geekindustries]

you may have a 3.5" floppy, but I have a 5.5" hard drive

Take with grain of salt, people

[Tokerat]

...the Mac guys KNOW there are lots of drugs in Amsterdam :-D

Re:Take with grain of salt, people

[Dolphinzilla]

As well as prolific drugs, there are also prolific freaks in Amsterdam - case in point: the Ellen Feiss look alike contest was mostly guy's - oh well I guess Mac users do "Think Different"

Re:Take with grain of salt, people

[c1pher]

"...the Mac guys KNOW there are lots of drugs in Amsterdam :-D"

Apparently so! He's obviously high. :)

Re:Take with grain of salt, people

[natron 2.0]

Mac now introduces the iBong in five fruitful colors!!

Re:Take with grain of salt, people

[Tokerat]

.... wasn't your point supposed to be "I guess people in Amsterdam Think Different"?

Aack!

[Space Coyote]

You should have also warned about the Ellen Feiss lookalike contest being mostly guys. Scary scary stuff.

Re:Aack!

[AtariEric]

Oh, man, thanks for the warning!
Crossdressing should be left to professionals, like RuPaul, or J. Edgar Hoover...

Tossing PCs! weeee!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

And afterwards, tossing salads! weeeee!

And then to Starbucks for Orange-Mocha Frapuccinos!

Re:Tossing PCs! weeee!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Sorry about that mean post, I didn't realize they were German.

Re:Tossing PCs! weeee!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Sorry I assumed they were German, they are actually Nederlanderen.... But seriously, if they want to destroy the PCs why don't they toss them off a cliff or building? If this is some competition to see who can throw the PC the farthest, how can it possibly be fair when they are using many different models of computers with large differences in weight? What the hell MAC people never make sense.

Re:Tossing PCs! weeee!!!

[Jezza]

You're obviously confused - weight doesn't tell you much about a systems speed. You're confused by Intel's Mega-Weight Myth. You have to consider pipeline length as well.

a mac user speaks on cooking techniques

[Anonymous Coward]

I neaded 3 busses to make my geaky firewire bread. While it was in the ovin, I played colectovision.

Fools....

[ElGuapoGolf]

They could be installing Linux on those Windows PCs.

Not to mention that we shouldn't really be tossing PC's around for the sake of tossing PC's around just because they run windows until everyone has a computer. Lots of people can't afford even cheap 8 year old ebay systems. Assuming those systems being tossed worked.

Re:Fools....

[Anonymous Coward]

Not everyone's enough of a masochist to want to make Linux work on a PC that badly.

Re:Fools....

[loply]

Well, I suppose its true about not wasting PCs, but lets be real, they tossed about 10, major companies regularly discard them by the hundreds. Infact, this is probably where they got them from, so they would have ended up in a third world country being stripped of connector gold anyhow.
But ofcourse, they could have made a decent Linux server cluster from those machines, presuming they work :)

Re:Fools....

[orcaaa]

You couldn't be more correct. If they want to show disrespect to Windows then buy Windows CDs(boxes et all) and then toss 'em around in the mud. The PC can run a wide range of operating systems like Windows, Linux, FreeBSD, BeOs etc etc. Showing disrespect to the PC for the OS it can run is showing disrespect to all the OSs. Be Warned Macfreaks, windoze users might not take offense to this, but linux(and other Non M$ OSs) users do.

Re:Fools....

[dalamcd]

Be Warned Macfreaks, windoze users might not take offense to this, but linux(and other Non M$ OSs) users do.

Jeez. Who's the freak? =P

If you tossed an old Performa or something around I couldn't possibly care less. I've got a really old Mac from the clone era being used by my mom for some simple word processing. Once it goes kaput, I'm going to take off the plastic case and skid it down my (long, sloping) driveway to see the pretty sparks. =)

dalamcd

Re:Fools....

[Anonymous Coward]

Well who the hell wants to run a Mac which can't even multi-task?!?!

See how silly it sounds when you apply standards that haven't been true in quite a while?

Re:Fools....

[Anonymous Coward]

If you look, you will notice that none of the cases have any components in them. They are just bare PC cases with handles for throwing.

Re:Fools....

[Bobartig]

It looked like AT/really old HW. 10 386/486 POS boxen are going to be way slower than even a two hundred dollar PC, use 5x as much power, have 1/20th the storage, take orders of magnitude longer to set up, and 10x the space. Plus, it looks as if those pc's had been stripped of all drives, cards, etc.

Re:Fools....

[hype7]

You're calling the Mac guys fools?

I'll refer you to my .sig, punk

-- james

Re:Fools....

[Anonymous Coward]

That's a great picture. I had the strangest urge to jsut beat them up and take their lunch money. I wasn't exactly Joe Quarterback in school but even I can safely call those guys geeks.

Fakes?

[Anonymous Coward]

Some of the PCs in the PC throwing pictures look superimposed.

Re:Fakes?

[Jezza]

That's those evil Mac peeps and their Photoshop - probably used it to show how fast their systems are. (Did the composite before the PC hit the ground or something).

(Serious question - why would anyone super impose the PCs in the picture?)

I like Macs, but...

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm a recent Switcher who's been a PC user for a long time. Love OSX/FreeBSD and just sold my last PC, but I gotta tell ya, MAC FANS FREAK ME OUT! Once road a CalTrains after a MacWorld SF show and the people chanting Mac slogans was freakin' scary. A Mac Porn site? What's next?

Re:I like Macs, but...

[dalamcd]

You don't want to know...

dalamcd

this article man...

[Anonymous Coward]

Okay, here's an honest question. What can I say about macintosh freaks that won't amount to flamebait or a troll?

Re:this article man...

[Anonymous Coward]

That you want to make sweet, sweet love to them.

Re:this article man...

[Mononoke]

What can I say about macintosh freaks that won't amount to flamebait or a troll?

Try something that's not flamebait.

Try something that's not a troll.

What can I say about A. Cowards that won't amount to flamebait or a troll?

Re:this article man...

[Anonymous Coward]

only one thing.. They Dont Exist !

Re:this article man...

[Anonymous Coward]

You can say they are outrageously lazy like myself and have never bothered to make an account. I think most ACs would accept that.

Re:this article man...

[Aquillion]

Well, you could start by not saying that...

Re:this article man...

[Anonymous Coward]

Nothing? Hahaha!

Ok, try this.

"When I was about to beat off to the Ellen Feiss lookalike page, my erection went from this to this.
(See nose.)"

Re:this article man...

[Anonymous Coward]

Try something that's not flamebait.

Try something that's not a troll.

What can I say about.... oh wait, this is getting silly

Program conflicts?

[jo_ham]

Taking lead from the mac porn site, I experimented with my girlfriend.

I am having conflicts between Lad's Night Out 2.6 and Girlfriend Sex 1.0.

Do you think if I trash Girlfriend 1.0 and get an updated version I'll have more luck?

Re:Program conflicts?

[yokem_55]

Well, the typical upgrade for Girlfriend 1.0 is actually Wife 1.0, which is a whole 'nother ball of wax. See here: Here

Re:Program conflicts?

[Anonymous Coward]

It's been my experience that _ANYBODY_ who ever uses the Girlfriend 1.x joke will never have to worry about trying it out later in life.

Re:Program conflicts?

[jo_ham]

Girlfriend 1.0 slept with another woman, then left me for another man.

Girlfriend 2.0 is working out just fine. ;)

Re:Program conflicts?

[Joe Tie.]

Well, the typical upgrade for Girlfriend 1.0 is actually Wife 1.0

Though some might say it's an upgrade similar to going from Windows 98 to Windows ME.

Re:Program conflicts?

[Anonymous Coward]

Girlfriend 1.0 dumped me and forgot to tell me fo four months

Loneliness 9.99 is alright

Re:Program conflicts?

[SoupIsGoodFood_42]

I am having conflicts between Lad's Night Out 2.6 and Girlfriend Sex 1.0.

Just install Girlfriend 0.7 and Girlfriend Sex 1.0 on seperate computer. That way, you get to keep Girlfriend 1.0, but don't get the conficts.

Re:Program conflicts?

[oolong]

You have an

Re:Program conflicts?

[oolong]

You have an extensions conflict. Wait until Girlfriend 1.0 is finished with Monthly Software Update (MSU) before asking system for ANY other resources. Quit all other applications if Girlfiend 1.0 prompts you to do so during MSU. You may have to restart after MSU, although some users have reported working on Girlfriend 1.0 while MSU is running. Your mileage may vary, as Monthly Software Updates change based on a variety of circumstances.

Girlfriend x.x schedules MSU using proprietary tools, and this behavior cannot be changed without significant re-compiling. There are no GUI tools to admin Girlfriend 1.0 as of yet. There is also no man page or online docs, as Girlfriend 1.0 keeps changing behavior based on user input.

BTW, good luck running Girlfriend 1.0 as a multi-user binary -- I haven't been able to get it to work without serious system instabilities and frequent crashes, even with latest software updates from Apple! I tried twice and had to re-install Girlfriend 1.0, with weeks of downtime.

In case you're interested, Girlfriend 0.95 and earlier ran only on System 7.1 (or earlier), ran only as a foreground app, and ran without the user having any ability to the ability to save or modify without upgrading to a costly full-release of software. Girlfriend 0.96.1 and later have all been nagware, except for Girlfriend 0.98.2 which was shareware and the horrible Girlfriend 0.99.5 which was a bizarre experiment in freeware (extremely unstable binaries!!).

Girlfriend 0.98.2 had a Network Users interface, but it had some serious security issues. My system was wracked with two viruses -- because Girlfriend 0.98.2 was shareware and Parents 2.2 would not work with Girlfriend 0.98.2 at all. Girlfriend 0.97.1, 0.97.3, and 0.97.7 were all beta releases, but all were feature poor. I ran Girlfriend 0.96.3 for awhile. I liked most of the features of 0.96.3, but the interface was ugly and I had a problem with preferences changing before I upgraded to 0.97.x.

To tell you the truth, you may want to bite the bullet and upgrade to Wife 1.0 instead of Girlfriend 2.0, because user training issues will significantly affect your TCO based on previous experiences with Girlfriend 1.0. You cannot run Girlfriend 1.0 and Girlfriend 2.0 on the same machine without serious and tedious re-compiling from source (and various library conflicts) -- and, BEWARE, there may be very serious security issues if your systems are networked and both Girlfriend 1.0 and Girlfriend 2.0 are on the same network interface or, worse yet, the same subnet.

Something else to think about, will you ever neet any data from Girlfriend 1.0? If so, know that Girlfriend 2.0 may overwrite all of Girlfriend 1.0's data without user input. Backups are extemely difficult to maintain, as reinstalling Girlfriend 1.0 data with Girlfriend 2.0 binary will cause 2.0 to become unstable, and may lead to complete loss of functionality. Girlfriend 2.0 will try to overwrite all system preferences -- so check Trash often.

One last thing, make sure you have plenty of system resources available with you intend to run Lad's Night Out (any version) in the foreground. Girlfriend 1.0 writes syslog entries in several places throughout the system, and log files may become very large in a very short time. Unless you want to spend all of your time cleaning up logs, I'd schedule Lad's Night Out with Girlfriend 1.0, or run it as a background app.

Good luck!

Re:Program conflicts?

[saintm]

But no matter what she says, DO NOT UPGRADE to Wife 1.0.
It does not work the same way Girlfriend 1.0 used to, it has less features and costs more.

Re:Program conflicts?

[mazg]

Do you think if I trash Girlfriend 1.0 and get an updated version I'll have more luck?


I'd stay with the girlfriend program. I had some problems with with my Protitute 2002. Apparently the ASP license enables other users to use your copy and upload virii.

Re:funny-dirty minds

[Anonymous Coward]

Quick! How many people clicked on the Mac Porn Link?

Uhhuu...I thought so.

no surprise...

[Anonymous Coward]

the Mac porn link has been /.'ed

Same guilt trip my mom would make...

[Anonymous Coward]

...when I couldn't finish my meals as a kid. "You know, there are starving kids in Africa and you're just going to throw that good old meat loaf in the trash can"

Re:Same guilt trip my mom would make...

[sean23007]

That never worked on me after the first time I mailed the food overseas. My mom never wanted to risk the postal charges and embarrassment at the post office again. I wonder what ever happened to that half eaten casserole I sent to Rwanda...

Re:Same guilt trip my mom would make...

[Ponty]

For all you know, a Hutu may have killed a Tutsi with it. How would your mom feel about that? Best to just ignore the parents on calls like these. God knows what trouble could be unleashed.

Mac Pr0n...

[redhairedneo]

Does anyone else notice that the Mac Porn site is the currently most bogged? Hmmmmmm.......

Thanks a lot

[scott1853]

Any guesses on whether it was the Ellen Feiss link or the Porn link that got macfreaks.org /.ed?

Re:Thanks a lot

[Anonymous Coward]

All we need now is a Ellen Feiss Porn link. please :)

Re:Thanks a lot

[Sri Lumpa]

"All we need now is a Ellen Feiss Porn link. please :)"

She is underage (14 or 15 I think).

Of course, if you get her in Holland you won't have to wait as long (I think they can start doing porn at 16 or 17 there).

For the rest of us

[Anonymous Coward]

If you thought Everquest porn was sad, this blows it away. (No pun intended)

Why Ellen?

[Anonymous Coward]

She's crusty.

Re:Why Ellen?

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually, I saw her at MacWorld in July when her commercial premiered. She's actually quite a pretty girl, and when she finishes puberty she will probably be stunning.

MacPr0n...

[boa13]

Slashdotted instantly. Damn.

Re:MacPr0n...

[rampant mac]

Odd, it's still working great for me under Chimera.

I must admit, the pictures are damn funny too. Who knew the Color Classic was such a whore?

Re:MacPr0n...

[m0i]

But not the other *.macfreaks.org sites, weird! no *pr0n* link should be allowed on /. frontpage .

what's with the blatant advert?

[fat32]

Okay, this is getting a little ridiculous here. I'm clicking on Slashdot articles that are taking me directly to Quicktime movies of Apple's products. This is a new low for the venerable Slashdot.

Re:what's with the blatant advert?

[Twirlip of the Mists]

Geez, dude, if the rampant goatse.cx links didn't get the "caveat clickor" idea through to you by now, nothing will.

Check the status line before you click, or suffer the consequences.

Re:what's with the blatant advert?

[fat32]

Goatse? Who site is that? I'm just here to help /. a better place. If this guy is starting trouble, maybe we should give him our piece of our minds.

Ellen in DivX anybody?

[IamTheRealMike]

Hey, is there a copy of this Ellen Feiss video in DivX? I've heard the jokes, seen the fansites, and now want to see what caused all the fuss in the first place.

But I don't have, and don't intend to get QuickTime, crossover or not. The Two Towers trailor played better in the DivX version I found anyway, so is there a divx of this advert anywhere? Does a QT Pro owner care to convert it?

Re:Ellen in DivX anybody?

[NineNine]

You're expecting somebody else to take their own time to convert something because you don't want to take 30 seconds to install QT? Go take a flying leap.

Re:Ellen in DivX anybody?

[Richard Weber]

You're expecting somebody else to take their own time to convert something because you don't want to take 30 seconds to install QT? Not everyone has a platform that runs QuickTime, because it makes use of proprietary codecs. I don't see anything wrong in asking for a favour to convert it to a platform neutral format -- the Feiss video is worth seeing ;-)

Re:Ellen in DivX anybody?

[LighthouseJ]

You don't need Quicktime Pro, do these steps and roll your own conversion:

1. Install Quicktime 4 (from PC game CD's or elsewhere)
2. Install TMPGEnc mpeg encoder somewhere and get the QTReader.vfp plug-in for TMPGEnc.
3. Open the file and press convert.
4. You now have an MPEG-1 stream of the video, if you want DivX, get FlasKMPEG and convert to DIVX. You shouldn't need a big bitrate because there is little motion in the clip.

Re:Ellen in DivX anybody?

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe you should get a better OS. It sounds like yours is broken.

Re:Ellen in DivX anybody?

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, the troll must be using Linux.

Get WinXP or a Mac.

From What I Can See

[Hott of the World]

They are throwing PC cases , and I didn't see anything inside. Of course, They could have already thrown them a few times, so maybe there were mobos inside, but the ones I saw were just cases. Old cases are pretty fun to throw around actually, and can make good weapons in a pinch!

So take it from me, use your computer to fight crime in Amsterdam!

Now to hit preview to se

Ellen Feiss

[boo__yeah]

Well I sucked real hard on my iBong, and it was like, puff puff puff puff puff, and like, half of my stash was gone. Bummer.

I had to cram it into my cheek when the police pulled me over. And it wasn't as good.

Re:Ellen Feiss

[coso]

Were can I get one of these IBongs? I'd really like a green one.

what a ripoff

[paradesign]

no G4s?

and its so easy to open them up.

like... ohmihgod!

[BEA6D]

Ellen is like... so COOL! uhh like me and my friends are like putting up an iTOOLS site about her. iTOOLs is like so cool!

And *this* makes Wired AND Slashdot news?

[King_TJ]

Wow, maybe I'm just getting old and bitter?
But I don't see how this is "newsworthy" at all, except maybe on the macfreaks.org web site itself?

It strikes me as yet another attempt to drum up some more support for Apple's platform -- but it's a pretty pathetic one. "Come on, join the Mac revolution! You too can perform stupid stunts like tossing old Windows-based PCs and look at porn!"

Wake me up when a group of Mac users accomplishes something truly significant and new/interesting with their machines. Right now, they still seem to mostly be playing "catch up" with the PC world. (EG. The distributed computing projects like SETI@home and United Devices' search for cures for cancer are milestones in personal computing. But where was Apple at the forefront of that revolution? Nowhere....)

Re:And *this* makes Wired AND Slashdot news?

[Mononoke]

It strikes me as yet another attempt to drum up some more support for Apple's platform -- but it's a pretty pathetic one. "Come on, join the Mac revolution! You too can perform stupid stunts like tossing old Windows-based PCs and look at porn!"

Or, it could be just a bunch of people with shared interests getting together in person. You know, like friends do.

Maybe you don't know.

Wake me up when a group of Mac users accomplishes something truly significant and new/interesting with their machines. Right now, they still seem to mostly be playing "catch up" with the PC world. (EG. The distributed computing projects like SETI@home and United Devices' search for cures for cancer are milestones in personal computing. But where was Apple at the forefront of that revolution? Nowhere....)

Score: -1 (Redundant)

Were ANY corporations at the forefront of those "revolutions?" I used to run SETI on my Mac years ago. Got bored with it.

BTW, running some of the distributed computing clients (SETI, et al) is one of the things the G4 does better and faster than any other processor.

Re:And *this* makes Wired AND Slashdot news?

[Anonymous Coward]

BTW, running some of the distributed computing clients (SETI, et al) is one of the things the G4 does better and faster than any other processor.


And this is a good thing? You think SETI@Home actually does something?

Re:And *this* makes Wired AND Slashdot news?

[Mononoke]

And this is a good thing? You think SETI@Home actually does something?

No, but it seems to make people feel better about their small penises (or lack thereof).

Re:And *this* makes Wired AND Slashdot news?

[Tokerat]

"Come on, join the Mac revolution! You too can perform stupid stunts like tossing old Windows-based PCs and look at porn!"

Read between the lines. This is clearly a "Look how much Macs and the Mac crowd suck!" type of article^H^H^H^H^H^H^Htroll.

This is not the Mac user norm, trust me.

Of course, if I had been smoking opium for 12 hours and had a French Vanilla & Meth at breakfast, I'd probably think CowboyNeal was Ellen Fiess...

Re:And *this* makes Wired AND Slashdot news?

[Anonymous Coward]

You must not have been reading Wired for the past couple of years. If WWIII broke out and Steve Jobs sneezed, I think the editors at Wired would have trouble trying to decide which should be at the top of the page.

Re:And *this* makes Wired AND Slashdot news?

[Anonymous Coward]

Wake me up when a group of Mac users accomplishes something truly significant and new/interesting with their machines.

Translation: I am utterly pig ignorant troll and live in a little box under a bridge were reality cannot frighten me.

Re:And *this* makes Wired AND Slashdot news?

[King_TJ]

I would dismiss it as just such a "read between the lines" article bashing the Mac - except Wired, of all magazines, broke the story.

As you surely must admit, Wired has traditionally been very much a "pro Mac" magazine since its inception. I own every one of Wired's issues for the first 3 years they were published, and I often recall being a bit frustrated at their editorial bias towards the Mac, without giving any real justifications for it.

Wired is very much a magazine concerned with a "hip, techno-savvy image" - and focuses in on the artistic and creative (even concerned enough with that to print itself on expensive glossy paper). This is quite often the crowd that aligns itself with the Mac, since the Mac is traditionally seen as an "artist-friendly" platform.

Furthermore, Slashdot tends to run stories that feature anything non-Windows in nature - so once again, you can count on a bit of a pro-Mac bias. (It ain't Linux, but OSX is closer than Windows, right?)

Therefore, no - I really have to assume some people think this type of get-together helps sell the Mac as the computer of a "hipper, more fun" crowd. Sorry, I'll pass on that....

Re:And *this* makes Wired AND Slashdot news?

[King_TJ]

Ok, I see I touched a nerve with some people. (Being modded down as "flamebait" is usually a good indicator, in and of itself.)

But yes, United Devices appears to be an actual *corporation*.

(See: http://www.ud.com/company/)

The only reason I brought up SETI@home is because it was the first successful, wide-scale implementation of a distributed computing client that conveniently runs as a screen saver. I think that, in itself, was quite significant. It paved the way for others to do the same with a more useful computing project behind it. (I will admit, the search for alien life using their methods seems pretty unlikely to pan out.)

I didn't even realize they did a Mac port of SETI, but obviously they did. I'm quite certain it wasn't available at the same time they first released the PC version, though. (They even has OS/2 ports of SETI after a long enough delay....)

Also, I fail to see how you can make your claim that running distributed computing clients is a task "the G4 does better and faster than any other processor"??

What are you benchmarking against? It's pretty much cold, hard fact that the latest P4 processors outperform anything in the G4 series. That's why Apple was considering the idea of possibly moving towards an Intel-based Mac someday. They have a CPU that won't scale as far, and doesn't perform as well as what Intel has.

Re:And *this* makes Wired AND Slashdot news?

[Mononoke]

Also, I fail to see how you can make your claim that running distributed computing clients is a task "the G4 does better and faster than any other processor"??

What are you benchmarking against? It's pretty much cold, hard fact that the latest P4 processors outperform anything in the G4 series. That's why Apple was considering the idea of possibly moving towards an Intel-based Mac someday. They have a CPU that won't scale as far, and doesn't perform as well as what Intel has.

I just visited Distributed.net

Re:And *this* makes Wired AND Slashdot news?

[Anonymous Coward]

... their small penises (or lack thereof).

So I gather you are talking about people feeling better for having a non-small penis, or not having a penis at all (e.g. a woman).

I'd like to blame Freud for societies ridiculous penis fixation and thus for the comments such as this, but in this case, I'd guess you're just a small dicked loser.

Oh, the irony...

[fisgreen]

Anybody else get a kick out of the fact the Mac Freak site is running on linux?

Re:Oh, the irony...

[Anonymous Coward]

do you get a kick out of the fact that linux.cx is running on Windows 2000?

Re:Oh, the irony...

[harangutan]

Anybody else get a kick out of the fact the Mac Freak [macfreak.org] site is running on linux [netcraft.com]?

No, not really. It would have been slightly closer to amusing if it had been hosted on IIS. Were you expecting it to be hosted on MacOS? Take a look at that netcraft survey again: how many options to host on MacOS are out there?

Re:Oh, the irony...

[Jezza]

Yeah they probably just wiped the mud off and plugged it back in!

And Macs run other OSes too. Including Linux - maybe it's a Mac? Anyway is this actually important? Who said it was their server?

Aren't we all taking this too seriously? It's meant to be funny - and a huge excuse to drink beer from the looks of those pictures (and that doesn't sound all bad to me).

ahh sex...

[paradesign]

need a smoke?

dont we all

If this is what having a Mac does to you

[Manitcor]

then count me out of switching. IMHO MacFreaks, dumbest. people. ever.

Re:funny-dirty minds

[soapvox]

Uh I did it just for the article

Macporn ?

[vlad_petric]

I especially enjoyed Mac porn, but hey, if you are under 18, don't click the above link ;-)."

I'm pretty sure the authors of Mac porn never ever had sex, therefore have no idea what porn means (and they also have a very bizare sense of humor, which also contributes to their solitude). The material is so "safe" that I would even show it to a 5-year old.

The Raven

Re:Macporn ?

[stevejsmith]

I could be wrong, but I think it was a joke.

Re:Macporn ?

[KevinIsOwn]

It's an obvious joke. The site is hilarious, it reminds me of furniture porn. ( http://www.furnitureporn.com/ - Not an actual porn site (sorry))

Re:Macporn ?

[vlad_petric]

As I was saying, their bizarre, incomprehensible sense of humor contributes to their not having had sex.

Re:Macporn ?

[stevejsmith]

Hm...just wondering...are you Romanian?

Re:Macporn ?

[vlad_petric]

Yeah. Why :) ?

Re:Macporn ?

[stevejsmith]

I'm half-Romanian. Never been there, and don't speak the language (well, except for some small workds), but I just noticed the name Vlad...reminded me of Dracula. Vlad Tepes...or something like that. What country do you currently live in?

Re:Macporn ?

[vlad_petric]

I tried to e-mail you, but was unable to correctly de-mangle your address. So, could you e-mail me at petric_vlad / hotmail?

Thanks, Vlad

Re:Macporn ?

[Anonymous Coward]

Why bore a five-year-old with that tripe?

Re:Macporn ?

[stevejsmith]

Hehehe, yeah. I noticed that Slashdot gave me a rather cryptic one, this week. For those who are wondering...it's slashdot[at]ssmith619[dot]cjb[dot]net. I guess the two @s and the one dot is rather complicated.

Apple doesn't want me to switch

[tbuskey]

I went to the switch site & saw nothing. I tried to download the Quicktime applet and one wasn't offered for Linux.

So, Apple must not want us linux users to switch.

Re:Apple doesn't want me to switch

[Anonymous Coward]

So, Apple must not want us linux users to switch.

That's logical though. Have you read some of the posts made by Linux users here? Have you seen the fighting that goes on with zealots who aren't even developers? I would rather have gay hyper-trendy frap-sipping one-button-mouse using people using my OS too -- at least they have money.

And on a somewhat related note, I'd like to say something about the Ellen Feiss commercial. As someone who has actually been high before, I do not believe she is high. And when I say that I've been high before, I'm pointing out that the people who make these stupid ass "apple switch" parody wallpapers are probably people who have never even seen an illegal drug in their lives, and if they have, they didn't know what it was.

Re:Apple doesn't want me to switch

[Anonymous Coward]

> Have you seen the fighting that goes on with
> zealots who aren't even developers?

Yep...I've been watching them for years, longer than Linux has been around as a matter of fact...they use Macs.

Mac Porn

[Anonymous Coward]

IMHO, That's probably the stupidest tech porn I've ever seen.

Re:Mac warps BrAiN!

[Bullseye_blam]

While you have almost have a viable point, I think it's obvious that these people are just a group of crazy, nerdy people whom all happen to own Macs.

The fact that they are all 'Mac users' doesn't say much about Mac users as a whole... though you'd be hard pressed to find a bunch of Microsoft employees doing something like this. :)

-Bullseye

Re:funny-dirty minds

[c1pher]

which is why that one is almost /.'d, just about :)

Re:Can someone tell me why....

[MoneyT]

It's very simple really. Microsoft abuses it's customers over and over, and almost everyone that has used an M$ product has a big complaint about it and is looking for an alternative. However, there are very few Apple users who have huge issues with Apple and are looking for alternatives. Therefore, M$==bad, Apple==good

Different types of people

[be-fan]

Windows people are sheeplike.
Linux people are unsociable and scruffy.
Mac people are just plain creepy.

Cross Dressers

[Sacarino]

Alrighty then... on this Lookalike wesite, you've got Macheads trying to look like Ellen Feiss. So I mosey over and take a look.

4. That's the number of chicks I saw in this contest. The rest are males, trying to look like a chick. 26 of 'em, I believe.

Remind me never to go to a Mac users group meeting.

Re:Mac warps BrAiN!

[Anonymous Coward]

Are you kidding? go to redmond, they do this all the time there.

WARNING!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

DON'T CLICK the MAC PORN link at work!!!

Re:Can someone tell me why....

[Aquillion]

Slashdotters hate Microsoft because they have a monopoly on the OS, but they love Apple, who has a monopoly on the OS AND the hardware?

Dude, which Slashdot are you reading?

And now, a poem...

[mtec]

Monopoly's all in the mind
Intention is king of the hill,
If my love for the Mac makes me blind,
the look of XP makes me ill.

80% of the stuff out for sale,
is crap that I'd never once use,
the 20 percent left - suits me just fine,
and leaves plenty of choices to choose.

And - in the end - because Cocoa is sweet,
The objective is clear,
I can roll my own suite.

Re:And now, a poem...

[The J Kid]

I can roll my own suite.

And that, is why I, Ellen Feis switched.

I am a Mac Freak

[Anonymous Coward]

I think Mac's are soooooooooooo nice and tasty, especially with tomato ketchup and baked beans!!!

Cheers!

from a student's point of view

[ece]

I've thought about bying a mac not too long ago wanting to give OS X a shot. From what I've _seen_ and _heard_ it's worth a try. But then why would I buy it for? The only reason I'm using a computer is to learn how software interacts with hardware(engr.) That's something I'll never be able to do on a mac(prop. hw&sw). PCs and linux remain the only choice I have.

Re:from a student's point of view

[Alex Thorpe]

The only reason? Odd. But unless you want to get into the really low level stuff, a Mac or Windows PC should be fine. Unless you're trying to invent your own OS, perhaps?

Re:from a student's point of view

[Nomad37]

What a load of utter crap. If all you want a pc for is to learn sw/hw interaction, then go a cheap make it yourself thing with linux or bsd or minix or something else that's free. But don't start with that bullshit "oh macs have proprietary this and proprietary that" it's been done to death.

The mac has a the same frickin' parts as any other computer: cpu, ram, hd, etc and software: os, application sw as any other damn computer.

The fact that it's 'proprietary' (I assume what you're saying is it doesn't have a huge marketshare) shouldn't make a damn bit of difference if you're interested in how computers work (cf how an x86 box running linux works).

Re:from a student's point of view

[Methuseus]

I think that it's more the fact that nothing's been documented very well by Apple so it's hard to understand how Mac parts work together.

Re:from a student's point of view

[Jezza]

Darwin (the core) of Mac OS X is Open Source.

If you want to see a Unix-like OS that's implemented in quite a different way to Linux take a look at this. On a related note - you don't need a Mac to do this, Darwin also runs on a PC. Of course if you want to run Mac OS (9 or X) software you'll need a Mac with a full copy, but that's another story.

Of course there is a slew of Open Source OSes for PC (and Macs) out there so Linux ISN'T your only choice (not that it's a bad one).

Re:from a student's point of view

[Anonymous Coward]

As Jezza says,

Darwin is open source, if you wanna see how the os is working - go right ahead.

Re:from a student's point of view

[Anonymous Coward]

That's something I'll never be able to do on a mac

Astroturf or horribly uninformed, you decide.

Re:janie porche, high-tech grrl

[Anonymous Coward]

I bet she could suck chrome off a bumper.
There I said it!
You know you all were thinkin it anyway.

And Be people...

[mtec]

are? ...?

Re:And Be people...

[Anonymous Coward]

dead.

Re:And Be people...

[user32.ExitWindowsEx]

Be people just are.

(Get it? "Be" people just "are"? Lame, but oh well...)

Re:And Be people...

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, she's kinda screwy. Mean, too!

They look like they had fun

[tRoll with Butter]

Last PC users' "get together" I went to was AMD's thing where I was at the Altemonte Springs, FL (USA) parking lot at like 6:00AM listening to AMD's marketing schpeel. There was no free food, no music, no activites other than AMD's raffle, it was freezing cold out (okay, wussy Florida-type cold, but it SEEMED freezing) and worse, there were no hot topless women. Say what you will about Apple, but they sure know how to make a get together event fun...

Re:They look like they had fun

[dome troll]

OK, I checked ALL the links in the post and I did't see ONE HOT TOPLESS CHICK anywhere! Where are they?

Too bad the real Ellen Feiss wasn't invited.

[Anonymous Coward]

She'd have the time of her life in Amsterdam!

It's all part of the plan.

[Anonymous Coward]

Steve.

See ya!

Could someone point me to ...?

[Anonymous Coward]

A little OT, but...

A few days ago someone posted a link to a hilarious picture of a row of geeks at a (Linux? Mac?) convention posing for a picture. Each had a thought bubble above his head, dreaming of Ellen Feiss...except the last geek had a picture of the first geek in his thought bubble. A random freaky guru sits cross-legged on a table in the background of the photo.

Could someone post this again? In general, I recall someone commenting that some well-known geeky site specializing in humorous photoshopping was to thank, but I can't remember the name. TIA.

S'cuse me 'T'

[mtec]

plastic spoon?

Hoo! loooove that furniture porn site.

[mtec]

Gives me a woody.

(which I polish with Endust)

I can watch qt videos on my mac in Linux

[SHEENmaster]

Through Mac-On-Linux.

An mpeg version of the Ellen Feis video will be on my server, Flame Entertainment.

Re:Mac warps BrAiN!

[Manitcor]

Yeah but think about DefCon, yeah some dumb stuff goes on there but do you see any PC porn?

I mean its not uncommon to see someone attempt to swan dive into the pool from the top of the main lecture hall.

Or maybe see some kid with green hair half naked, passed out and hanging from the chanldier in the ball room. Or the occasional missing ATM machine but come on, MAC Porn?!?!?!?

And the look alike contest? Its akin to that fat old guy in the conrner of GenCon dressed up like sailior moon.

Tossing PC's...

[Chicane-UK]

I wonder how many bandaids they got through?

I know when we chuck a load of our old kit away in the summer break, we typically fill up a skip of old 14" monitors and crappy & dead base units - been more than a few injuries where the razor like case edging slices down your finger as you launch a unit from the back of the truck - still, its all good fun :)

Did any one else feel a little disturbed by the mac porn though..

Doncha mean

[Anonymous Coward]

Manjuice?

Re:Doncha mean

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually...

while (likesOtherMen(this->man))
{
system("sed %s/man/boi/g;");
system("sed %s/men/bois/g;");
system("sed %s/semen/honey/g;"); // it just gets grosser from here
}

Re:Mac warps BrAiN!

[Tokerat]

...Like dumping a giant Internet Explorer "E" on Netscape's lawn?

Nah, they never do goofy shit either...

They should have held this event at Christmas...

[fooguy]

that way, if something had gone wrong, Janie Porche could have showed up and saved it.

Was Gianni Jackone on hand to manage them all, or are track suits illegal in Amsterdam?

Track suits are, afterall, the official uniform of the state of New Jersey.

Re:funny-dirty minds

[Alex Thorpe]

Yep, and I even found it disappointing. I thought at least that there'd be some LocalTalk cables in play, or even some nice fat SCSI cables! ;)

Well, how else are computers going to 'interact'? AirPort? Not on Macs that old.

Mac porn sucks.

[zmalone]

Now, I approve of the concept of computer porn, but the example above is just derivative of far better porn sites. I mean, the Unix Sex site(not entirely work safe) has been around far longer, and their selection of photos are far superior. You people call yourselves geeks, and yet you don't even know of good places to find man on pdp11 photos, sheesh.

(my karma is so dead for this one)

Re:Mac porn sucks.

[MrEd]

Here's a *cough* 'deep' link:. At least the Mac porn is tasteful! :)

Re:Mac porn sucks.

[jcsehak]

Waitaminnit. Unix can't have sex!

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Re:Mac porn sucks.

[eco2geek]

Waitaminnit. Unix can't have sex!

Right, 'cause Unix don't have Penix.

(Ouch.)

Windows install discus toss!

[Anonymous Coward]

New Olymic event!

Really useful warning.

[Gutboy_Barrelhouse]

I especially enjoyed Mac porn, but hey, if you are under 18, don't click the above link ;-).

Oh, that'll keep the minors away, I'm sure.

ellen feiss nude!!!

[atari2600]

Check this out (only for adults) Shes nude here Alright you idiots - stop talking about the girl already - shes ugly...oh yeah beat me about the bush and put this thing as offtopic but im sick of Ellen Feiss on /.

Re:ellen feiss nude!!!

[CoolVibe]

Already slashdotted... Horny bastards!

Re:ellen feiss nude!!!

[goon america]

If you think ellen's hot, you should check this chick out

Re:ellen feiss nude!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

How is that funny?!?! She leaves Ellen Feiss in the dust!

OMFG

[Snake Psychoski]

see that just figures, PC people get together and don't have to throw MACs around because they already won the, "who has the more capable system aspect". Sounds to me like they're just frustrated cause they use glorified televisions and have no technical knowledge of their systems. Don't forget to clear that P-RAM!

Re:OMFG

[Jezza]

You can't get hold of old Macs, they've all got fish in them.

It amazes me how marketing has an affect on sheep

[Anonymous Coward]

I use many different OSes every day and I really don't see what is new about OSX or Linux that makes them so different from Windows. How come every piece of new technology out there that people tout as "great" is some varient of crap from the late 60's or the early 80's. I am still waiting for something new that is really different, because right now you can take any OS and put another "skin" on it and you can make it like any other "OS". Oh Wow.. it is another UNIX varient. Unix is old... and although it is not dead it should be :-) Hell, CPM is dead so why the hell hasn't Unix died yet! Don't get me wrong, I like linux, Windows, and Mac OS, but what major contributions have been made to GUIs or the Command line in the last 10 years. They are just as criptic and new users have just as much trouble using any Mac as Windows XP and that comes from experience helping new users. Prememptive Multitasking is not new, clickable buttons are not new and either is the "lickable interfaces" of Windows XP or Mac OS X. It seems that every bit of inovation died with the 80's with exception of realtime 3D acceleration for games and the such. "The Dock" is not new and has been available with Next Step and OS/2 for years. The "Task" bar is another pull down menu from the 80's. Let us "Start" something new and someone out there come out with a real inovation ... Something new not based on rehashed stuff.

Inovation and Think Different are slogans of the dieing computer market!

help me out here

[Anonymous Coward]

OK, I've been looking around and I can't find the text of the federal law that prohibits having sex with minors.

I see laws for child porn, not exploiting children for visual depictions etc but the only place I see it's illegal for a 19 year old to have sex with a 17 year old is in Arizona.

Anybody know where it's illegal, what the text of the federal law is etc?

Re: help me out here

[Omniscient Ferret]

It isn't a federal matter, it's a state matter. Check out ageofconsent.com . In California, it's 18; in lots of states, it's 16, and a couple of states have 14 as the age of consent of a partner if you're young enough.

Re: help me out here

[Anonymous Coward]

Alright -- thanks. Very clear now.

-Original AC

3 beers

[Anonymous Coward]

I can already heat the flamebait but that ellen girl is not hot... if i were out at a club i would need at least 3 beers to want to go home with her and that is after drinking prior to going to a club... check out hotornot.com and you'll see some hot chicks in there(watch out for the fat nasties)

Re:Can someone tell me why....

[Anonymous Coward]

M$==bad -> true, Apple==good -> false

Learning from the OS

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually, if you're interested in the low-level parts of Mac OS X (like those that talk to the hardware), all of the source is available as Darwin. In fact, the PowerPC Linux developers often use it as a reference for the hardware, in lieu of documentation. Or just look at Linux itself. The PowerPC branch supports all but the very latest hardware. Some of the cooler, high level features of OS X like Quartz Extreme remain proprietary, but that shouldn't bother you if you're just interested in the kernel-level side of things.

mac porn huh?

[Nomad37]

I wonder if any of those macs had RAM Doubler installed on their Hard Drives?

- sorry, I'll be quiet now

Re:Mac warps BrAiN!

[Manitcor]

I dunno, I think that is kind of an homage to the pranks that happen each yeat at MIT.

That was a prank with a somewhat goofy purpose.

But Mac Porn?

Seriously..

Um mac addicts must be blind and ugly

[Anonymous Coward]

That ellen fiess look alike must be at least 60.

Oh! My God! They have sex in front of the ....

[LittleStone]

In case you saw the "Asian" in Mac Porn, the Chinese writing in the background is from ... Bible.

That's erotic.

I don't care if she's 14, 24, or 34....

[leereyno]

I'd do her anyway and so would just about heterosexual male. The average age that people first have sex in the U.S. is now 14. So chances are if she isn't already doing the horizontal bop, she soon will be. The only reason I can think of not to sleep with her is the time I'd spend in jail if caught.

Some people say she looks like a stoner. I think they're right, but shes still awfully cute.

Ellen

Re:I don't care if she's 14, 24, or 34....

[Anonymous Coward]

your also obviously under 22

Re:I don't care if she's 14, 24, or 34....

[leereyno]

So that is supposed to be some kind of an insult? Being young is not synonymous with being wrong. Anyone who thinks so is likely at the point in their life where dreams have turned to regrets and there are fewer days ahead than behind.

With Mac Users Like this....

[ScottKin]

...The dominance of the Microsoft Operating Systems is assured.

Question: Hasn't anyone wondered where the "These were not paid actors, but real Apple Users" disclaimer is on those utterly inane "Switch" ads are?

ScottKin

making Mac porn in Amsterdam

[Anonymous Coward]

No thanks, i'll pass on that daisy chain.
For a moment I thought they brought some sexy hackers fromt their red light district.

don't care

[cygnusx197]

mod me down. I don't care. You mac people revel in the fact that you're stupid. I'm embarased if I can't punch my PIN into the bank machine in under .2356 nanoseconds, and you people think that you've stumbled on a revolution in computing because it's fucking easy to install a printer driver? IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EASY. IT'S A COMPUTER. Keep your pretty assed interface. Just don't be surprised when your unix co-workers cut and paste into a text file, and you're still astounded that you can do such advanced data manipulation.

Re:don't care

[edmo]

I wouldn't claim to know more about computers then an unquestionable god of them like you, but just because it's a computer doesn't mean it has to be hard to use
Personally I like the fact that all I have do is say "check my web comics" and they all pop up obedentaly

I'm sure there are some mac users who can't cut and paste or use a browser, but most of us(and especially the one on /.) know what we're doing

The Bigger Fool: You

[tres]

You assume that people who can't afford an 8 year old ebay system would actually derive some kind of utility from them.

Bullshit, I says; 3 reasons:

1. People don't need computers. People need food, water, shelter and family.

2. Try to run Mandrake 9 or Red Hat 8 on these systems--it just won't work. Try to run an older distribution on them, people just won't know how to use the computer.

3. You need to organize some way of getting these computers to the people who need them instead of making some grandstand bullshit critique of other people. I'm sure if it came down to donating the computer or using it for a punching-bag, there would be no question where the computer would go. But you aren't organizing, are you?
Ultimately, things like this can raise money for people to use in more meaningful ways, like a fundraiser to buy food for a family. But to say that the computers themselves have an implicit value is complete bullshit.

Average people need solutions to their problems, not more problems to deal with. They don't need to spend months learning how to use their computer before they can use it. They don't need to deal with headache upon headache trying to get their computer to run right.

This "Let them eat computers" pseudo-liberal bullshit doesn't do anyone any good. Unless you're willing to give up a couple of years of your life to teach these people how to run Red Hat 5, OpenBSD, or Debian Linux, these old computers aren't going to do them any good.

I mean, really--do you really expect people to derive some kind of monetary income from having one of these machines? Do you really think that it's going to liberate them, or bring them something they need? If they want to compile any of the major software products for Linux, they'll be waiting days.

I don't mean to flame here, if you're working on a way for these computers to be useful (other than as terminal servers) then great, I'll eat every word here.

Your argument reminds me a lot of my mother telling me, "Eat all the brussel sprouts on your plate, for people in Africa are starving."

To which I says, "well send them to Africa."

Re:The Bigger Fool: You

[Brendan Byrd]

Moderators are smokin' some crack on this one.

Re:The Bigger Fool: You

[ElGuapoGolf]

Uh, no. How many families with kids in high school would be pefectly served by a 486/33 running Windows 3.1/Win95. Almost all of them. As long as the kids could get on the computer and bang out papers; they'd be fine. Can those systems get on the net? Yep. Can they do whatever limited research they need. Yep. Can they chat away. Yep. Liberal bullshit? No, more like practical applications for old technology.

Re:The Bigger Fool: You

[tres]

Hey, I said "pseudo liberal bullshit." It may not be much to you, but in my book there's a big difference.

In a perfect world, we can all pretend that this would be a fitting place for our old computers to end up. But what happens when that 800MB hard drive stops working? Where are they going to get another one and who is going to install it?

Who is going to give them the licenses they need to run the proprietary software you now prescribe?

Who is going to pay for the phone line, for the electricity and the ISP charges so that their computer can now browse the few sites that Netscape 2.0 can view?

The point still remains: it's a dream. It's like saying, "let them eat computers." There's a hell of a lot more that needs to happen than you dropping your old PC off at Ma & Pa Poorfolk's trailer & telling them they are now liberated.

Truly, I think your idea admirable, but the point I'm trying to make (& it looks that I didn't do very well) is that without the skills already in place, these computers are of little use.

Re:The Bigger Fool: You

[JelloG3]

Agreed

Re:The Bigger Fool: You

[ElGuapoGolf]

Sigh. Last I checked you could run Netscape 4.x on those boxes... and that's just Windows 3.1. Electricity? Do you really think it costs that much to keep a computer on and hooked up? The ISP... you may have me there. Some schools do provide dialups for free, but not all. And, even if they don't, wouldn't it still be easier to throw a old copy of encarta or groliers in and do research on that? And where did I talk about new software and the licensing that would require? They could use whatever is preinstalled. And I know you can grab those old encyclopedia CD-Roms in used CD bins for under a few bucks. Just as an example, my mother still uses a Pentium 60 with 48MB of ram to get on AOL. Is it old and slower than dirt? Yeah. Has anything on it ever failed? No. Would I be happy using it? No. Is she happy using it? Yes.

Re:The Bigger Fool: You

[tres]

There are organizations that do exactly what you've outlined before; they take old hardware and give it to needing families.

The organization that does this in Seattle doesn't accept 386 or 486 generation machines anymore. It's just too much trouble.

By the way, these organizations have been aggressively harrassed by legal teams representing the copyright holder of Windows 95 for not having all the original media with every single computer they give out. So, don't think because it's old, it doesn't need to have a license.

Really, I've thought about this one long and hard. It's not that I like gratuitous waste. It's not that I think these machines shouldn't be used where they can be used. It's just that putting an old ready-to-break-down, no-support-or-warranty-available machine in some neophyte's home is going to cost them more time and cause them more trouble than simply going to the public library, or going to their school's computer lab.

These computers could do very well as terminal servers, where a support staff can take good care of them.

Re:funny-dirty minds

[paploo]

I think the question is:
How many people didn't? :)

-Jeff

P.S. - The stains, oh the stains.

Response from MacFreak.org

[johankool]

Dudes!

I must say I have laughed very hard on all your comments and complaints about this topic. Let me explain what happened in the Netherlands on October 19th.

That was the day that the Dutch and Belgian people that often meet each other online at our forum had the chance to meet each other in real life. All other events on that day were just to spice it all up a little. And that worked! We got attention in national newspapers and radio, and about the worldwide attention on websites we can't complain either. Cool but not the most important, that was the fun to see and meet online friends!

* Old Dutch PC Throwing
Yes, there were 5 old PC's striped from any component used for this. There was no way that these machines could be used for any useful use. Yes, we know there are other OS'es that can run on those PC's besides Windows, but they didn't run Mac OS, so that was good enough for us.

We did even donated some working PC's to a hospital. So don't blame us for having some fun with old cases. Btw, IBM's cases were the strongest! And all mess was cleared.

The winner won a printer! Freely made available by a kind sponsor! And even with this price, it was all A JOKE!

* Ellen Feiss
What to say? It is A JOKE! People! It is A JOKE! Besides, Holland has to keep up its image on _legal_ stickies, right? ;-) Guy or girl, does it really matter?

* Sleazy.MacFreak.org
This initiative of Peter Villevoye was put up for entertainment purposes only... What else to say? It is A JOKE! People! It is A JOKE!

* MacFreak.org hosted on Linux
Yes, true. And we aren't ashamed of it. We are happy enough with our host that provides the space for free! Even better, soon they'll be moving us to a XServe machine!

* MacFreak Day
Just to let you know: next year we likely repeat this event. Join us next time! ;-) Quite some people that commented can use a good laugh, as I see it.... Life is not always serious!

Greetings from the entire MacFreak Crew!
MacFreak.org

Re:Response from MacFreak.org

[bursch-X]

Americans just don't understand European humour. I for my part laughed my arse off.

Re:Can someone tell me why.... tsarkon report.

[Anonymous Coward]

Tevis's cock hung limply inches from his face. Gingerly he grasped the penis before him and lifted it gently. There along the sensitive underside were letters picked out in green calligraphy. It took a moment before his brain was willing to process the name. Qui-Gon Jinn was the name of Tevis's secret love. Stunned Qui-Gon dropped his apprentice's penis as if it was a red-hot brand. Struggling to breathe to think he fell back on his heels. Trying to school his features the Master watched helplessly as his Padawan's face crumbled from resignation to hurt. From one aching breath to another the young man fled to his room, the door slamming behind him. 'What have I done', his mind screamed. He leapt to his feet and ran to Tevis's door. Quiet sobbing could clearly be heard. Laying his forehead against the cold hard surface of the door his mind raced along the training bond he shared with his Padawan to find it blocked. Not just blocked, nearly severed! Despair and panic rose in equal measure almost overwhelming him before he could disperse them into the Force.
"Tevis, Padawan, open the door he pleaded.
"It was not what it seemed. Please let me in.
Qui-Gon strained to hear an answer. The sobbing continued unabated. Centering himself he considered his options. One option was patience. He could wait until his apprentice opened the door on his own. He feared Tevis would have irrevocably come to a decision by then and be tightly shielded before the door opened. He dreaded seeing the features he knew so well set along stubborn, willful lines shutting him out. Another course would be to force the door and make the younger man listen to him. Hadn't he forced things enough already, his conscience screamed. He had handled this very badly letting his jealousy rule his actions. Closing his eyes he immersed himself in the Force seeking guidance. Determination showed in his eyes as he opened them moments later. Reaching out with the Force he tripped the locking mechanism of the door. His beloved Padawan lay before him on the narrow student sleep- couch. Still naked Tevis was pressed tightly into the join between the wall and the bed. Sobs continued to wrack the lithe form. Kneeling silently beside the crying man he leaned forward and brushed his lips against the nape of his Apprentice's neck. Tevis's back stiffened. A tendril of thought along their bond was ruthlessly repelled.
"Go away Master.
Bitterness filled the young man's voice.
"No
the Master murmured sighing,
"I will never leave you my love.
Carefully, his body trembling, he planted soft kisses along Tevis's shoulder. Kissing the delicate outer curve of the ear before him he spoke softly,
"I love you my beautiful Padawan.
Qui-Gon continued kissing outlining a shoulder blade. Kissing was too shallow a word for his obeisance. Taking his time the Master nuzzled the soft skin over his love's spine. His tongue darted out to taste the tender flesh. A shudder passed through the skin beneath his lips. Tevis had begun to slowly relax under Qui-Gon's attentions. The shuddering sobs had ceased. Heartened he moved to nibble the edge of his Apprentice's ribcage concentrating on the areas that elicited the greatest response. Still the slim body stayed resolutely turned away from him. Setting aside his own desires he cleared his mind focusing only on that which his lips touched. It became as a meditative trance. His world shrunk to ascertaining and fulfilling the needs of every square unit of the young man's back. Forgotten were his own tears as their saltiness blended with the taste of the skin he worshiped. He was erect. How could he not be aroused finally kissing the shell that contained the bright spirit he loved. The responses of his own body were immaterial. He had delayed the gratification of his flesh for so long it no longer seemed necessary. Implacably the Master covered Tevis with kisses and nips tracing bone, sinew and muscle. Diligent, he thought no further than the next portion of his Padawan's succulent tissue he needed to soothe. It was with surprise that he reached the soft rise of Tevis's buttocks. Overcome he lay his cheek gently against the small of his Apprentice's back. Closing his eyes he basked in the living warmth. Nothing had ever felt so right as this skin next to his own. Surely Obi- Wan could sense this too. He poured the love and concern that filled his heart through the bond between them hoping that his love would accept some of it. A soft moan escaped the supple body. Qui-Gon pledged his love quietly, his lips pressed into his Padawan's flesh. Inhaling deeply he let the scent of his beloved lend him strength. With the help of the Force this will work. It must work. He would not give-up after waiting so long. He would make amends, make things right with Tevis. Fresh tears leaked from beneath his lids to trickle down the smooth skin against his face. Touching his Padawan with his hand for the first time since entering the room Qui-Gon's trembling finger softly slid along the cleft in the young man's behind. The muscles on either side clenched, denying him access. Heedless of the wrench in his gut at the exclusion he followed the path of his finger with his tongue. Muscles still clenched Tevis nevertheless quaked at the intimate caress. Determined, the Master slowly licked the valley again and again until he felt the muscles on both sides relax. He nuzzled the tender flesh for moment fighting for composure. Planting small kisses down towards the ring of puckered tissue his heart leapt when he felt Tevis pushing back into his kisses. Restraining himself he merely brushed his lips over the entrance to his love's body. He promised himself that there would be time for more intensive exploration later after he had won his Padawan back. Moving to explore the young man's legs he let himself smile at the faint moan from Tevis. Using both hands as well as his mouth he made sure that the strong thighs and calves received the attention they deserved. He was about to begin on the young man's feet when they were swiftly pulled from his grasp.
"Enough, Master please.
Tevis blurted turning and raising himself to sit on the edge of the bed. He visibly trembled his eyes closed his hands white-knuckled gripping the bedding. Distress and arousal warred over his features. Qui-Gon shifted and sat back on his heels before his Padawan's knees. Flushed, tear-streaked and lips parted Tevis's face was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He permitted himself to drink in the sight of his beloved. Muscles jumped and twitched beneath the smooth skin as if the young man was ready to explode. The Master wanted to gather the rigidly held body in his arms but dare not. His eyes drifted down of their own accord to the upright penis. Green letters danced livid against the angry flesh bobbing up between Tevis's thighs. Tevis strove to achieve some measure of control within his self- imposed darkness. In all the fantasies he had of revealing his feelings to Qui-Gon he never came close to envisioning the events of today. He had had pleasant daydreams of seducing his Master. Overcoming his objections with his love. Other scenarios featured the older man crazed with lust just taking him. Humiliated before his Master had never been part of his dreams. It would be easy to blame Bant for telling about the tattoo. Facing three masters, one of them on the Council he knew he couldn't have done better than his friend and no doubt would have done worse. Part of him wished that the Calamarian had told all. Then maybe he could've talked to his Master. Instead things had gotten bad so quickly he was sure Qui-Gon would've sent him away if he knew. If he was honest with himself he had to admit that things had been going downhill for months by the time Bant had coughed up her egg- sack about the tattoo. He knew the exact day when his Master had changed towards him. It was the day of his astrophysics exam. Elated with his performance he had hurried back to their quarters to share his good news. His happy words died on his lips when he saw his Master. The man had looked stricken, his eyes bright with unshed tears. Tevis had waited for Qui-Gon to tell him of the tragedy that had brought the sorrowful mien. He had seen that expression or at least its kin a few times on the Master's face and composed himself to bear the bad news. However the older man had told him nothing and had forcefully rebuffed his questions. Over the next few days he had seen the unexplained sadness replaced by chilly disapproval. Soon he could do nothing right. The warm comradery he had enjoyed at his Master's side was gone. Every time he turned around he found his teacher staring at him as if he wanted to thrash him. Commands and lectures were the only words he received from the other man. Tevis wracked his brain for what he had done to offend his Master so. Then he had found his poem missing. It had been stupid to carry it around but the childish scribble had made his unrequited love more bearable somehow. If his Master had found it, read it and realized it was about him. Tevis's heart had sunk further sure that the older man had been insulted by his composition and the audacity of his feelings. Steeling himself he had gone to his Master and asked if he had seen it. Qui-Gon had denied seeing anything like it and that was that. Masters do not lie. They might withhold information if they thought it was appropriate but lie, no. Feeling more composed Tevis dared to let himself consider his Master's words and actions since the older man had forced the lock on the door. Qui-Gon whispering of love into his ear, into his skin. The words he had dreamed of for so many lonely nights. Those lips making love to his skin. He had wanted to turn into that touch, that warmth so badly. There was a time when he thought he would accept any relationship his Master offered on any terms. After the tyranny of the last months he wasn't sure. Submission, so much of his life had come down to submission. Obey the will of the Force was the cornerstone, and in his mind it had become synonymous with following Qui-Gon. Willingly he had served his Master and the Order, striving for perfect compliance. Acceding to quaint customs and ugly prejudices on every mission. Deferential to master and knight alike. Everyone's wishes took precedence over his own. He had been happy in his surrender, his duty. That changed just as his Master had. The man had been so ruthless and severe that Tevis had instinctively sought escape. Qui-Gon hadn't desired to bend him but to break him to wrest all the secrets of his soul. It seemed that keeping his tattoo private had become a fight for the integrity of his spirit. As if in yielding, a part of him would ceases to exist. He had not openly defied his Master but he had resisted as much as he dared. If he acquiesced to the large man now would he find himself helplessly dominated more of a slave than a partner? Would Qui- Gon expect him to submit? Could he agree to such subjugation, could he refuse? He knew that his Master was waiting patiently for him to respond. That Qui-Gon had stopped when he had asked him was a good sign he decided. He could not test the other man's mood without dropping his shields and he was not going to do that if he wasn't sure. Opening his eyes at last he beheld the man he loved and had learned to fear seated before him fully clothed, legs folded beneath him. Oblivious to his gaze the Jedi Master was staring at his cock. Suddenly terribly conscious of his own nudity Tevis reached to cover his groin. Even more quickly his master caught his hands and kissed them.
"Forgive me for staring Padawan
the Master murmured.
"For me to see my name on your precious flesh, especially there. . .
Licking his lips Qui-Gon swallowed convulsively. Blushing furiously Tevis unconsciously leaned towards the moist mouth. Realizing what he was doing the younger man stopped and pulled back. He would not surrender his will for a kiss. Not even one from his Master. It wasn't pride. It was survival of his ego, his individuality that prompted his withdrawal. Qui-Gon surged forward following his Apprentice's retreat. The big man's chest insinuated itself between the tightly clasped knees and his long arms wrapped around the slender torso pulling Tevis close.
"No!
Tevis cried. His over-sensitized flesh rushed to climax from the added stimulus of his Master's chest. Pushing hard against the other man's shoulders he tried to stop his ejaculation. Cum spattered Qui-Gon's front spurting over his tunics, throat and beard. Uncontrollable shudders wracked the smaller man and he closed his eyes in humiliation. Tevis felt the arms release him. Fresh tears coursed down his face. Spent, the Apprentice at least found his composure more easily regained post-orgasm. Not bothering to wipe the tears from his face he once again looked upon his Master and waited for the rebuke. Qui-Gon was scraping his Padawan's seed from skin and cloth with delicate sweeps of his fingers. Stunned Tevis watched as the Master brought each captured droplet to his mouth sucking his fingers clean. Sensing the Younger man's scrutiny Qui-Gon flushed crimson continuing his cleaning nonetheless.
"I had wanted to taste this at the source but this is delightful in its own way
Tevis's Master rumbled, a shy smile transforming his features. Sighing deeply, it was a moment before the Padawan could trust his voice.
"We need to talk, Master, . . . Qui-Gon.
Tevis's voice emerged hoarse, uneven.
"Yes. Whatever you want, my love. I want to apologize. . .
Tevis cut him off,
"Strip.
His tone was much more controlled this time.
"What?
A flicker of doubt flashed in the older man's eyes.
"Strip
he repeated.
"You're my Master, older and bigger than I. I can't change those things and I don't want to.
The Apprentice groped for words.
"There is already so much inequality between us. I will not accept any more. Either you strip or I need to dress.
He began to rise.
"Yes. Yes Pad . . . Tevis of course
Qui-Gon stammered attacking his clothes with trembling hands. Tevis savored each portion of his Master's body as it was exposed. He felt the tension within him ease. Maybe his Master really did want him, not a slave. Qui-Gon dropped his eyes from the younger man's turning his face away embarrassed by his own arousal. His turgid erection sprang free from his trousers, the crown slick with pre-ejaculate. His blush deepened. He visibly warred with himself not to cover his genitals. As soon as he was fully naked he again knelt before his Apprentice and abased himself. He pressed his forehead to the top of younger man's feet, his hands resting flush against the floor on either side.
"I humbly beg your forgiveness Tevis. I have lied to you, betrayed your trust. I have violated your privacy. I disregarded your feelings and undermined your self-confidence. I let my obsessive jealousy and fear harm your training.
The Padawan tried to interrupt placing a hand on the grey-streakedhair. Qui-Gon clutched his Apprentice's ankles.
"Please I beg you let me finish. I humiliated you to your friends and before the High Council. I was cold and harsh in my treatment of you. I nearly got you killed.
The Master's voice cracked.
"I don't deserve to be your master let alone your lover. I will do anything to repair the damage I've selfishly caused. I am truly sorry. I love you. I submit myself for any punishment you deem fit. Please don't leave. . . me.
Silence stretched between the two men. Shock robbed Tevis of his voice. He stared open-mouthed at the man crying against his feet. Shivers chased each other over the Master's frame. The older man's obvious distress unlocked the Apprentice's paralysis. Taking the trembling shoulders in his hands he tried to lift them. The Master began franticly kissing Tevis's toes the grip on his ankles turning almost painful. He'd thought I had been trying to push him away the Young Jedi realized. Drawing on the Force he slowly dragged Qui-Gon upright.
"Why Master? Why did you do this?
Tevis cradled his love's face wiping the tears away with his thumbs.
"What started it?
This time it was Qui-Gon who had his eyes shut.
"I found your poem. The thought of you with another tore me apart. I kept seeing him touching you, corrupting you. I had not known true jealousy before. As much as I fought it, it consumed me. Rage filled me. I had to know what man had stolen your heart from me.

"Why didn't you talk to me. I worried that you had found it. I thought you'd realized it was about you and it had sickened you. I was waiting for you to cast me off.
He kissed the older Jedi's eyelids, his forehead, the bridge of his nose.
"I know now the poem was about me.
He mused aloud more to himself than to Tevis.
"But then I did not. I was afraid if I confronted you about it I'd lose you altogether. I was a fool. All this could have been avoided if I had asked you.
Qui-Gon shook his head in shame.
"We've both been foolish. As Master Yoda said 'Plenty of blame there is for all.' Let no more fear come between us.
Tevis kissed the older man's lips chastely thrilling at their softness. He could not get enough of that mouth. More kisses followed. The sweet heat called him. His tongue traced the velvety lips demanding entrance. A wave of possessiveness engulfed the young Jedi mixing with the lust and love already there. Emotions overflowed him. Partially lowering his shields he let the heady combination pour down the link with his Master. Pushing forward the Apprentice overran the Master pressing him onto his back. The erection under him desperately thrust into his belly. His tongue took Qui-Gon's mouth much like he planned to take the Master. The older man opened under Tevis's onslaught. He was drowning in his Padawan unwilling and unable to resist. Long ignored needs soaked up sensations and emotions as the younger man ravaged his mouth. Abruptly Qui-Gon's lips were abandoned. Moaning he raised his head seeking to renew his connection to that savage heat. Arms sought to bring his suddenly devilish apprentice closer again. Evading his Master's attempts to capture him he snaked down the long chest. Using quick nips, kisses and finger tweaks he made his way to his goal. In a moment he was on his knees between his beloved's legs. Reaching Qui-Gon's engorged cock he found himself pausing overcome by the sight. He had dreamt about seeing this flesh erect countless times. Several shades darker than the surrounding tissue it arced over the taut stomach the flaring head pointing at the navel. So solid so beautiful. Well short of frightening, his Master's penis was considerable nonetheless and the thought of it thrusting inside him was generating an intense internal heat. He couldn't look at it without wanting it in his mouth. Wrapping his hands around the solid shaft he lifted the dripping head to his lips. Qui-Gon watched avidly as the young man smeared precum on his lips. A groan escaped him as Tevis took the crown of his erection into the hot recesses of his mouth. He knew he wasn't going to be able to last long he had almost come just seeing his Padawan handle his cock. He writhed trying to hold off, to prolong the exquisite agony. Watching the Jedi Master squirm he swirled his tongue softly around the head filling his mouth. Probing the small slit in the tip for more tingling fluid he felt Qui-Gon's trembling hands rest on the back of his head.
"Oh Tevis. . Oh Love that feels. . .Oh suck me . .Yes. . Please!
Qui-Gon's disjointed babble started as a whisper and quickly evolved into a shout as his Apprentice swallowed his penis deeply. His Master's hands fisted in his hair. Tevis knew the man was fighting the urge to force more of his cock deeper. Tears started in his eyes as he resisted gagging on the large organ. Using the Force he soothed the muscles of his throat. Slowly he pulled back until once again only the crown was in his mouth. Pausing he waited for Qui-Gon and in a few seconds he felt the pressure of the Master's hands on his head increase prompting him. Tevis lowered his mouth over the cock taking even more into his throat. Swallowing repeatedly he massaged the hard length further down his throat. He raised and lowered his mouth again and again rapidly. Head thrown back the big man whimpered as Tevis's nose reached the curling hair at the base of his erection. His scrotum was drawn tight against his shaft meeting the young man's chin. Clever fingers stroked his balls and he was lost, his orgasm tearing through him. The cock in Tevis's mouth swelled and then pulses of thick spicy fluid were shooting down his throat. Sucking as well as he could, cum still backed up flooding his mouth. Releasing the softening flesh he sat back. Qui-Gon sprawled in front of him drenched in sweat, gasping for breath, beautiful in his abandon. Sliding his chest up along his Master's until they were once more face to face, he wet his lips with cum and kissed the parted lips beneath him. Hands clutched his head deepening the breathless kiss. Qui-Gon's tongue licked the inside of his mouth finishing by cleaning his lips and chin. Strong arms wrapped around his back holding him tight. Tevis licked a path to his Master's ear.
"Are you all right my Master?
Tevis lingered outside his room afraid that he would find a very angry Jedi Master inside. Sighing deeply he released his anxiety. There was no way to tell how Qui-Gon had reacted. He wasn't sure himself why he'd felt compelled to take this course but it felt right. Another deep breath to calm his racing pulse and he stepped into the room. Hips raised, his Master knelt before him on the narrow bed, his head pillowed on his forearms, face averted. Setting the cup of oil he'd brought from the kitchen alcove on the bedside table he eased behind the trembling form. Draping himself over Qui-Gon's back he felt the older man stiffen. Kissing the shallow hollow between shoulder blades he wrapped his arms around sleekly muscled chest.
"You are so beautiful my Master
he nuzzled the surprisingly soft skin.
"Just do it Padawan. I accept your punishment
Qui-Gon hissed between clenched teeth. Straightening he reached for some of the oil and started to slowly caress the Master's buttocks and the cleft which divided them.
"Years ago I used to watch you when you brought your lovers home to your bed. I could see everything through the vent over my desk.
He felt the tension in the flesh beneath his hands increase.
"Watched as you prepared them and then thrust into them. I'd wanted to be the one receiving the pounding of your cock. I fantasized about it all the time. You stopped bringing lovers home. Why was that Master? Did you find out I was watching? You never said anything. No matter.
Tevis's oil-slicked finger circled the other man's anus.
"I never saw you taken this way. All the times I witnessed, you were on top as it were. Why was that?
His voice was silky. The other man remained silent.
"I've never done this you know. I've read about it and watched you do it of course. Always my teacher whether you meant to be or not.
Chuckling he trapped Qui-Gon's hips against him with one arm and the assistance of the Force as the bigger man tried to pull away. The Master could've used the Force and his superior size to free himself but he didn't. One finger wormed its way into the tight ring of muscle.
"How do I do it? Tell me how to fuck you my beautiful Master.
Leisurely he pumped the single digit in and out twisting it to spread the oil more.
"Tevis. . .
Qui-Gon grunted as the invading finger found his sweet spot.
"You seem. . . to be doing a fine job on your own.

"Thank you my Master. But I do need you guidance.
He again stroked the spot that had caused such a satisfying response.
"Is this correct?
The older man jerked in his grasp.
"I've no desire to hurt you my love indeed I wish to give you pleasure. Tell me when you're ready for the next finger.
He kissed Qui-Gon's shoulder and laid his cheek against the sweat slicked skin. While he found this incredibly arousing he had no urge to hurry things. He wouldn't enter the man till he begged. Begged for him. Removing his finger he ignored Qui-Gon's moan and coated it once again with oil. Reinserting it he assumed a torpid rhythm hitting the Master's prostate with each slow thrust. Hips reluctantly started to push against the intruder. Tevis submerged into the sensations surrounding his finger and the play of muscles across the older Jedi's back.
"Another
Qui-Gon ground out finally.
"Another?
He queried absently.
"Put another finger in.

"Are you sure? There's no rush I could do this all day. Are you sure you are ready?

"Yes! Damn it put another finger in. Please.

"Of course my Master.
Withdrawing his finger languidly, he dipped two fingers into the oil. Dripping he pressed them into the Master's most intimate spot. Qui-Gon pushed back eagerly groaning with this new trespass.
"There, does that feel better?
Sluggishly he resumed thrusting rhythmically. With his other hand he gently petted the heavy erection hanging between the other man's thighs. Grunting loudly the Master thrust hard into Tevis's hand and immediately after pushed back forcefully burying the fingers deep in his ass. Tevis held him tightly stilling his movements.
"Are you all right my love? We can stop.
A small smile visited the young Jedi's face briefly but he kept his voice serious, concerned. He bent and kissed the over- heated skin of the man beneath him.
"No! Yes! Don't stop
Qui-Gon panted sweat dripping from him.
"No? Yes? Which is it my Master?
he started slowly pumping his fingers again but removed his hand from the older man's cock.
"Don't stop. . . .I'm all right. . .More!
The Master growled between thrusts.
"More? More what? More fingers, more thrusting? Tell me what you want?
Qui-Gon threw his head back desperately trying to see his Padawan's face.
"All of it. .more fingers. . Harder fuck me harder.
His voice vacillated between a whimper and a shout.
"Yes my Master.
A third oiled finger joined the other two stretching Qui-Gon's opening further. The Master sighed luxuriantly. Muscle resistance melted as he thrust harder, faster into the willing ass. He could feel and hear the other man's rock hard penis slap against his belly with each thrust. The hips were pushing back hard to meet his fingers. Abruptly he stopped and withdrew his fingers. Draping himself over the sweat-soaked back once again he let his own hard-on nestle into Qui-Gon's cleft. The Master writhed under him rubbing his backside against Tevis's shaft. The moment stretched. He could feel his Master's movements getting more frantic with each passing second.
"Fuck me! Tevis. . .I want your cock in me! Please. . .Now . . Please. . Fuck me!

"Yes, Love. It's all right. You are mine, my Master.
He stroked the well-muscled back gentling the big man as he would a spooked animal. Leaning back he poured more oil into his hand and coated his erection. Qui-Gon watched him hungrily over his shoulder.
"Please!

"Say it. If you want me to fuck you, say it.

"What. . . What do you want me to say? Fuck me?

"Say you are mine, my Master, and I will fuck you as hard as you want.
The Master hung his head no longer wishing to meet his lover's gaze.
"I .am . yours. . .Yours. . Fuck me. . please.
Placing the head of his cock at the stretched muscular ring he slowly slid it home.
"So hot! So perfect, my Master.
Bucking his hips Qui-Gon started a fast, hard rhythm.
"Fuck Me! Fuck Me Harder!
Holding his Master's hips in a punishing grip Tevis complied, thrusting into the other man as hard as he could. Checking the older man for pain through their bond and finding none he gave himself over to the moment. They grunted their pleasure together with each thrust. He wanted to reach and grab his Master's cock but he couldn't make himself let go of the other Jedi's hips. Then he realized Qui-Gon's own hand was furiously working the erection. The sight wrung an even more frenzied rhythm from Tevis. With surprise he felt a trickle then a torrent of emotion thunder down their bond. Love, lust, shame and guilt all were overwhelming him battering against his shields. It was too much. He arched every muscle straining intent on driving his cock ever deeper into the man under him. His shields broke with his release. Distantly he heard shouting. Qui-Gon reeled from the backlash of his Padawan's broken shields and his own climax. His body convulsed nearly throwing Tevis from his back. Helpless he collapsed into the narrow bed, Tevis's breath harsh on his back. He had volunteered for this Mace Windu reminded himself for the thousandth time. Thinking to spare Master and Padawan further embarrassment he had offered to meet with the men and report his findings to the High Council. Rubbing his face he released his feelings of guilt over the matter, again. Dread was a leaden weight in his gut. They had been such a good team he thought sadly. No use anticipating, if master and apprentice needed to be separated so be it. He'd know soon enough. It had given him some small measure of hope when he had talked to Qui-Gon this morning. Sounding weary but calm the Master had suggested the luncheon date. A public versus private meeting argued that they had managed to settle things. He hoped so it pained him to see his friend in such distress. Not to mention the boy, almost ready for knighthood, it would be more than a pity if they lost him over this. Sighing, he watched for the pair to enter the dining hall. Qui-Gon appeared at the entrance his Padawan one pace behind and to the side just as was proper. Opening himself to the Force he watched the two approach trying to glean as much information as he could before they reached him. They were both tightly shielded but that was to be expected. There was something. He relaxed further letting his intuition have free rein. Understanding dawned the Padawan led the Master. One pace behind and to the side he may be but he led his Master to the table regardless. Reserving judgement he smiled and stood in greeting.
"Master Jinn, Padawan Kenobi I'm pleased you were able to meet with me so soon.

"It is our pleasure Master Windu. Padawan?
The boy bowed.
"With your permission, my Master, I will fetch our trays. Would you like me to bring you one as well Master Windu?
Shaking his head he resumed his seat.
"That won't be necessary Padawan, thank you.
The Apprentice nodded and after exchanging a look with his Master left moving towards the food lines. Mace took the opportunity to study the master seated across from him. Qui-Gon's eyes remained trained on the youth's retreating form for the space of several heartbeats before he turned back to face him. With great deliberation Qui-Gon presented himself to his friend for closer examination. Mace searched his friend's face letting the Force guide him. Serenity glowed from the other man's features. Then again Jedi Masters were supposed to be serene. However there was serene and serene. Recently he had seen his old friend wear his serenity like a hair shirt stiffly and with an air, which bespoke long hours of meditation. This was different. Only a long time companion or one gifted in the Force would be able to see it. There was a dreamy quality to his face a softening of lines usually set. He looked younger. The anger and despair that had been lurking behind his eyes was gone.
"Well Qui-Gon?
Mace asked at last.
"Well what?

"Qui don't make this harder than it needs to be. Did the boy show you his tattoo? The High Council doesn't need to know the name as long no abuse took place and the matter has been resolved between the two of you.

"He is a man Mace not a boy. I'm sorry I had forgotten about the Council.

"Man, I stand corrected. I can believe you forgot the Council you ignore them most of the time anyway.
The Council Member couldn't keep a small smirk from his face.
"That's an exaggeration and you know it.
Qui-Gon returned the smile.
"The matter is resolved between my apprentice and I. There was no abuse.

"That is well my friend but I need to know if he showed it to you. It's an issue of compliance as you should know.

"Yes he did willingly
the master blushed deeply as he spoke. Grin broadening he clasped the other Jedi's hand.
"I don't think you need to tell me who's name you read on that man's genitalia. Imagine seeing one's name on such an intimate part of another's body.
It was interesting to watch his friend and former lover's skin turn an even more fiery shade.
"You have no idea Mace. No idea at all.
Qui-Gon suddenly pinched the bridge of his nose his eyes closing, struggling against a surge of emotion.
Qui? . .Are you all right? As a friend tell me what is going on. Frankly I'm worried about you. Should we take this somewhere more private?

"Like last time Mace?
He snorted looking up at the man across from him his eyes too bright, his smile lopsided.
"I'm perfectly fine really. It's just that so much has happened in such a brief time I haven't been able to totally assimilate it.

"You know I'm sorry about that but you weren't exactly doing great on your own if you recall. I'm still waiting for you to tell me what is going on between you two.
Mace watched as Qui-Gon's expression turned a little distant. His Padawan calling he recognized and scanned the dining hall for the young Jedi in mind-touch with his friend. There he was loaded down with two food trays talking to that Calamarian Padawan and her master but he was looking at Qui-Gon. The intensity of this youth's gaze was startling and the Council Member found himself trying not to squirm as that predatory stare raked over him. 'Oh sweet Force now what' he wondered as he shared his attention between the master and apprentice. Full focus returning the master nevertheless let himself enjoy the afterglow of his mental exchange with Tevis.
"'Mace do you remember the games we used to play shortly after we were knighted? When we were still together.
Relief flooding Windu at the sudden change of subject made him laugh out loud.
"Of course I remember. Being on the Council doesn't cause amnesia you know.

"Pity
he replied dryly.
"I learned a lot from those games. I was so unsure of myself when I was knighted and that role-playing helped give me confidence.

"You made such a good dominant Qui but you hated it at first. Once you got the idea though you ran with it. Even now when disagreements between the Council and you heat up it I keep expecting you to have a quirt in your hands. I have to remind myself that it will not end like it used to.
Mace teased.
"It is no joke. I believe I learned those lessons in dominance too well. When I'm stressed I find myself falling back into the role far too easily without thought. Using the techniques against Tevis. I tried to break him to my will out of jealousy. It was unconscionable of me to abuse him and my authority so. He hadn't any means to stop me Mace.

"Let it go. It's over.
He gave the large hand under his a squeeze.
"Not for Tevis. It will take some time for me to regain his trust to repair some of the damage I've caused. He needs reclaim a measure of freedom and control over his life.

"And apparently over you as well. I sensed something of that when you entered the dining hall. Near to knighthood or not 'A Padawan must follow the leadership of his master'.

"When does it cease to be leadership and become control for control's sake. We are striving for a new equilibrium. What harm is there to defer to him here on Coruscant during our private time. It will not disturb our training and working relationship. I believe it is essential for restoring much needed balance.
Before he could voice his skepticism Qui-Gon's Apprentice had appeared beside his master. Mace once again felt the heat of the younger man's gaze. There was no anger or insolence in it just that disconcerting intensity.
"I apologize for my delay Master. I have your tray.
Tevis spoke quietly but it galvanized the other man. Qui-Gon quickly looked up at the youth and blushing anew snatched his hand from Mace's grasp. A flicker of guilt crossed the Master's face.
"Tevis. Master Windu and I were just discussing the wishes of the High Council.

"Indeed my Master.
Setting the trays down he seated himself next to Qui-Gon.
"Yes. Your Master was just telling me that all is settled between you. Do you agree? Can I infer from this that you think you will once more be able to work with each other effectively?

"Oh yes Master Windu. I believe or bond is stronger than before.
The Apprentice impressed him as both calm and sincere. The letter of the law had been upheld he didn't have to know what these two men did in private Mace reasoned with himself. Patience and time were needed to evaluate this 'equilibrium'.
"Master we will have to eat swiftly if we are to complete our errand before our scheduled time in the training room.

"Yes Padawan
answered Qui-Gon smiling.
"Errand
the Council Member inquired? The dreamy cast to the Master's face was back.
"Yes, we are going to visit a tattoo establishment my Apprentice is familiar with.

"Another tattoo Padawan Kenobi? Have you learned nothing?
Disbelief colored Mace's words. Qui-Gon cleared his throat.
"Master Windu I am the one who is procuring a tattoo
he said serenely.

Re:S'cuse me 'T' T be a Fecal sugarbitch

[Anonymous Coward]

I think. I am the artist. I am a man who is commanding a man in the well to put the lotion on. It puts the lotion on. Then I work up the desire to defecate. Nice, a solid shit, a nice solid shit! As I defecate my brown baby, halfway out my rectum - poking though my anus like a turtle head. Now my Artistry begins! Now its time for artistic feculent self-twister! I crab-leg over my canvas and begin to draw with my shit "lead." My whole body, undulating with the desire to finish the defecation, yearning for release, quivering; my leg muscles are strained. I draw with great passion and fervor! My eyes are fiery with creativity and insanity like Van Gough. I am one with God, as we all are when in orgasm or completing a bowel movement, as I smear feces on canvas. And my creation! My opus! My oeuvre! My masterpiece! A life like replication of Tevis' face!

Re: I can, dude...

[bursch-X]

A Monopoly with a 5% market share??

What weeds are you smoking?