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Large Hadron Collider Goes Live September 10th

Naznarreb writes "CERN announced today that the first attempt to circulate a beam through the Large Hadron Collider will be on September 10th, 2008. You can read the press release here. They also announced the event will be webcast live. According to the release, they're just planning to run a few tests laps, not smash any particles, so the world won't be ending quite yet." And despite that September 10th date, according to the BBC, "On 9 August, protons will be piped through LHC magnets for the first time."

409 comments

  1. September 10th? by suso · · Score: 4, Funny

    And will take 1 day to warm up right?

    1. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

      No. Cool down. The reason that everyone has been waiting for the last couple of months is for the system to cool to less than 2 K. That is what is limiting the operation of the complete LHC.

    2. Re:September 10th? by Red+Flayer · · Score: 4, Funny

      The reason that everyone has been waiting for the last couple of months is for the system to cool to less than 2 K.

      Less than 2K what? Two thousand Centigrade? Fahrenheit? Damn n00bs and their lack of units, don't you realize that's the kind of mistake that swallows worlds in a fit of microblackholish pique???

      --
      "Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
    3. Re:September 10th? by Scotteh · · Score: 2, Informative

      The reason that everyone has been waiting for the last couple of months is for the system to cool to less than 2 K.

      Less than 2K what? Two thousand Centigrade? Fahrenheit? Damn n00bs and their lack of units, don't you realize that's the kind of mistake that swallows worlds in a fit of microblackholish pique???

      2 K is 2 Kelvin, not 2 thousand. The "damn n00b" was using the proper standard scientific units for temperature.

    4. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Informative

      And, like you, the "damn n00b" missed the joke.

    5. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      2K = 2 Kelvin, in SI units. 'K' in that case is the symbol of the unit.

    6. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      K *is* the units...Kelvin. 2 degrees Kelvin is COLD

      > The kelvin (symbol: K) is a unit increment of temperature and is one of the seven SI base units. The Kelvin scale is a thermodynamic (absolute) temperature scale where absolute zero, the theoretical absence of all thermal energy, is zero (0 K).

    7. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      2 Kelvins, and its actually 1.79 K

    8. Re:September 10th? by fishbowl · · Score: 1

      >Less than 2K what?

      Less than 2 degrees Kelvin, for those who slept through middle school science.

      --
      -fb Everything not expressly forbidden is now mandatory.
    9. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Captain Obvious to the rescue: The GP was joking...

    10. Re:September 10th? by Illbay · · Score: 3, Funny

      I got the 9/11 reference, even if the rest of the Nerds didn't.

      --
      Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.
    11. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      September 10th? Damn, less than a month and I've still got 25 items on my 'things to do before you die' list.

    12. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      K is the unit. Kelvin.

    13. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      whoosh!

    14. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      duh "microblackholish pique" => funny/irony

    15. Re:September 10th? by Rycross · · Score: 5, Informative

      "Two degrees Kelvin" is actually improper terminology. Kelvin does not use the degree simple. You simply say "Two Kelvin."

      On another hope, I really hope you weren't joking with that. If so, then I just got whooshed!

    16. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      @Red Flayer -- ROFL!!

    17. Re:September 10th? by hclewk · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Well, if it had the degree symbol between the 2 and the K.

      He didn't put the degree symbol between the 2 and the K because it isn't "2 degrees kelvin" it's "2 kelvin", like "2 kilograms" or "2 meters"

    18. Re:September 10th? by GleeBot · · Score: 0, Redundant

      Well, if it had the degree symbol between the 2 and the K.

      There's no such thing as a "degree Kelvin". In the SI system, kelvins are a unit (kelvin), not a temperature scale.

    19. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If it had the degree symbol it wouldn't be correct. The Kelvin scale doesn't use the word degree or degree symbol to denote that it is not based on an arbitrary reference point like the Celsius and Fahrenheit scales.

    20. Re:September 10th? by stevelinton · · Score: 1

      2 K is 2 Kelvin, not 2 thousand. The "damn n00b" was using the proper standard scientific units for temperature.

      Well, if it had the degree symbol between the 2 and the K.

      Actually no. The SI unit of temperature is the Kelvin, abbreviated K, with no degree symbols anywhere in sight,

    21. Re:September 10th? by krazytekn0 · · Score: 1

      (Score:-1, Whooosh!)

      --
      Not all life is cyber. Extra Income
    22. Re:September 10th? by Grimbleton · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Such as yourself?

    23. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Giuliani? Is that you? I was wondering where you disappeared to.

    24. Re:September 10th? by sm62704 · · Score: 0

      Um, .... Did you not see the rest of the post? ;)

      For those in the US, two degrees kelvin is roughly a bazillgian degrees below zero.

      woosh

      --
      mcgrew's razor: Never attribute to stupidity that which can be explained by greedy self-interest
    25. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      2 Kelvin, the K is the unit r-tard.

    26. Re:September 10th? by Hordeking · · Score: 0

      2 Kelvin. Not very many physics geeks here, are there?

      --
      Disclaimer: The opinions and actions of the US Gov't are in no way representative of those held by this author or its ci
    27. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I could be mistaken, but I'm fairly certain that at least a _few_ protons have already been inside the LHC. (Unless they constructed it in a perfect vacuum.) :D

    28. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Do things even whoosh at 2 kelvin? I thought it would be too cold to make any noise at all.

    29. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If people would just stop modding Funny posts down with Overrated and Troll maybe some people would recognize that there was a joke to get.

    30. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      To be totally anal, it's "Two kelvins." Notice the lower-case k and plural s. SI unit names are never capitalized (meters, newtons, kelvins, etc.), but the symbol may be a capital letter ("K" in this case).

    31. Re:September 10th? by rathaven · · Score: 0, Redundant

      Units? K - that'll be Kelvin then I guess...

    32. Re:September 10th? by mpeskett · · Score: 1

      Do one each day, it could be the basis of some kind of feel-good comedy film (assuming of course that you don't get eaten by a black hole on the 10th)

    33. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Whooooosh!

    34. Re:September 10th? by Nefarious+Wheel · · Score: 2, Funny

      It's cold. DAMN cold! How cold? Ask the guy with the frozen thumb!

      Yep, well the last time I caught someone installing a key logger his thumb wouldn't fit in the coffee afterwards. And I remember one winter in Montana where it was so cold it went quiet -- everybody's words froze as they left the mouth.You never heard such a ruckus at spring thaw, though.

      --
      Do not mock my vision of impractical footwear
    35. Re:September 10th? by fishbowl · · Score: 5, Funny

      >Such as yourself?

      I slept through middle school, high school, undergrad chemistry and physics, slept through my masters, and am sleeping on the job at my university environmental research gig.

      Any questions?

      --
      -fb Everything not expressly forbidden is now mandatory.
    36. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      woooosh

    37. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Perhaps my reply has been deleted or lost in the 'wireddo space', so I'll rewrite a 2.0 version.

      I just said 2 K = 2 Kelvin in SI units. The 'K' is just the symbol to indicate 'Kelvin units', as if you use 1 m to say "one meter" or 1 KB to say "one KiloByte".

      1 K = -273 ÂC

      ÂC is not a crazy exotic isotope of Carbon. It's just the symbol assigned to Celsius degrees.

      And that could generate a recursive reply pattern.

      Oh, Jeez, but the negative symbol has any units? Damn n00b hasn't indicated it is a real number included in R in a U â© R := {v â V : v} ... and so :)

      as the reply below, K = Kelvin, so get that point.

    38. Re:September 10th? by noidentity · · Score: 1

      Apparently you're a "damn n00b" when it comes to Slashdot humor. Whoosh!

    39. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      wh-wh-wh-whoooshititscoldouthere

    40. Re:September 10th? by LionMage · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Actually, to be even more anal, the plural form "kelvins" should only be used to indicate temperature intervals (differences between temperatures); when indicating specific temperatures, the singular form is used. Take a gander at this section of the Wikipedia article for examples.

      And remember, there's always a bigger pedant out there somewhere. :-)

    41. Re:September 10th? by rossdee · · Score: 2, Insightful

      "For those in the US, two degrees kelvin is roughly a bazillgian degrees below zero."

      Its actually about 456 degrees below 0 F

    42. Re:September 10th? by Brain+Damaged+Bogan · · Score: 1

      ... or sends mars landers plummeting to the surface at break neck speeds :)

      --
      -- Sex is the antonym of pringles. Once you pop it's time to stop.
    43. Re:September 10th? by mobby_6kl · · Score: 5, Funny

      I slept through middle school, high school, undergrad chemistry and physics, slept through my masters, and am sleeping on the job at my university environmental research gig.

      Any questions?

      Yes, how can I be more like you?

    44. Re:September 10th? by tobiasly · · Score: 4, Funny

      And remember, there's always a bigger pedant out there somewhere. :-)

      Great, now I'm gonna have nightmares about pedant bear.

    45. Re:September 10th? by kayditty · · Score: 0

      Most of the people replying to this "joke" failed to point out (many of them making the same mistake themselves) that kilo is repesented by the symbol "k" -- lowercase, not upper. There's a major difference between k[ilo] and K[elvin], just as there is between bits and Bytes.

    46. Re:September 10th? by blindseer · · Score: 1

      "For those in the US, two degrees kelvin is roughly a bazillgian degrees below zero."

      A Brazilian? That's a lot!

      --
      I am armed because I am free. I am free because I am armed.
    47. Re:September 10th? by Bob+The+Cowboy · · Score: 1

      *whoooooooooosh*

    48. Re:September 10th? by Cassius+Corodes · · Score: 1

      I wonder if you have considered the possibility that perhaps people got the joke but thought it wasn't very funny and hence modded overrated? To get 5, Funny - it actually has to be funny.

      --
      Control is an illusion, order our comforting lie. From chaos, through chaos, into chaos we fly
    49. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Pedant bear is real and very dangerous. I'm totally cereal...

    50. Re:September 10th? by SimonGhent · · Score: 1

      Pedant bear is real and very dangerous

      Not compared to Pedant Manbearpig.

      --
      simon
    51. Re:September 10th? by Stooshie · · Score: 1

      Interestingly the section below that says:

      ... in the case of the kelvin, capitalizing also distinguishes the symbol from the SI prefix âoekiloâ ...

      which kind of negates the original whoosh!

      --
      America, Home of the Brave. ... .and the Squaw.
    52. Re:September 10th? by Stooshie · · Score: 1

      just to be pedantic, a kilobyte is actually kB not KB.

      kb = kilobit
      kB = kiloByte
      K = Kelvin

      --
      America, Home of the Brave. ... .and the Squaw.
    53. Re:September 10th? by Stooshie · · Score: 1

      Erm, i suspect that may be the case.

      --
      America, Home of the Brave. ... .and the Squaw.
    54. Re:September 10th? by Bastard+of+Subhumani · · Score: 1

      Slashcode would turn it into (^àÉ anyway.

      --
      Only three things are certain; death, taxes, and apocryphal quotations - Ben Franklin.
    55. Re:September 10th? by Johnny+Chinpo · · Score: 2, Insightful

      It's fucking *degrees* Kelvin you insensitive clod!

    56. Re:September 10th? by kipman725 · · Score: 1

      Just guessing here but sleep more?

    57. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The world is coming to an end, I predict September 10th 2008 we will implode!

    58. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Damn n00b who don't know a shit about Kelvins

    59. Re:September 10th? by sm62704 · · Score: 1

      Tough room!

      --
      mcgrew's razor: Never attribute to stupidity that which can be explained by greedy self-interest
    60. Re:September 10th? by inKubus · · Score: 1

      Great, now I'm gonna have nightmares about pedant bear.

      GOING TO HAVE

      --
      Cool! Amazing Toys.
    61. Re:September 10th? by Res3000 · · Score: 1

      No, it isn't. In fact since around 1968. See Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kelvin

      It is degree Celsius or Fahrenheit, but Kelvin is just, well, Kelvin.

    62. Re:September 10th? by clone53421 · · Score: 1

      Really? I thought ÂC was Anonymous Coward in a funny hat.

      --
      Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
    63. Re:September 10th? by rrkap · · Score: 1

      DO NOT WANT

      --
      I like my beverages with warning labels!
    64. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sauce plz

    65. Re:September 10th? by Grimbleton · · Score: 1

      On the plus side, at least you're well-rested.

    66. Re:September 10th? by suso · · Score: 1

      Yeah, no kidding. I think the mass of all the comments that talk about Kelvin could make a black hole.

    67. Re:September 10th? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And remember, there's always a bigger pedant out there somewhere. :-)

      You out-pedanted everyone. Does that make you a pedantphile?
       

  2. Get your affairs in order, people by wattrlz · · Score: 3, Funny

    Did we ever reach an agreement about those micro-black-holes?

    1. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Did we ever reach an agreement about those micro-black-holes?

      Um, if the entire planet is zortched out of existence, people won't really have to *worry* about having their affairs in order, will they?

    2. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by suso · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Um, if the entire planet is zortched out of existence, people won't really have to *worry* about having their affairs in order, will they?

      The real question is, if one is created, will there be enough time for anyone to report it, or will the black hole swallow things almost instantly or will it grow faster than the information can travel?

    3. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by schklerg · · Score: 4, Funny

      Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. So I think we'd hear about it first.

      --
      Be Excellent To Each Other
    4. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by SBacks · · Score: 1

      Well, if one is created (impossible at these energies according to the Standard Model), it would be destroyed almost immediately due to Hawking radiation.

      Even if it did survive, it would be incredibly small (about a Planck length, or 10E-20 times the size of a proton) and would take a long while to collect enough mater to start growing rapidly.

    5. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Gotung · · Score: 4, Informative

      There is virtually zero chance the LHC will produce micro-black holes.

      Even if it somehow does, they will very likely dissipate in fractions of a second.

      Even if they doe form, and are stable, they will be so small so as to sink to the center of the earth and star devouring it at the alarming pace of 1 atom a year.

      For frame of reference you have about 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 atoms in your body.

      So it would take billions of lifetimes (or more) for you to even notice the effects if one were stuck in you.

    6. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by pha7boy · · Score: 1

      They also announced the event will be webcast live.

      Just in case they doom-sayers are right, we can at least watch it live. Gots to love the webcasting.

      --
      -- All this knowledge is giving me a raging brainer.
    7. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by clem · · Score: 4, Funny

      Easier to ask forgiveness that permission. Especially easy if there's no one left to ask forgiveness of.

      --
      Your courageous and selfless spelling corrections have made me a better person.
    8. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by SBacks · · Score: 4, Informative

      Sorry to self-reply, but even once it got going, it wouldn't destroy us immediately. A black hole with the mass of the Earth still only has Schwarzschild radius of 1.5cm.

      http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu/hbase/astro/blkhol.html

    9. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by pha7boy · · Score: 5, Funny

      I'll keep my towel handy

      --
      -- All this knowledge is giving me a raging brainer.
    10. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yes. There are cosmic rays that have orders of magnitude more energy than what the LHC can produce. For example, Oh-My-God particles have been observed with energies higher than 10^20 eV (the highest at 3 * 10^20 eV ~= 50 J). The highest energy the LHC will be able to produce is only PeVs, which are over 100,000 times weaker than the Oh-My-God particles that have bombarded the Earth for billions of years. If the Oh-My-God particles couldn't make significant black holes or turn the Earth into strange matter, there is little hope for the LHC to do so.

    11. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Kjella · · Score: 1

      A microsingularity can be considered a point mass, but it doesn't change the fundamentals of gravity - a microscopic mass has microscopic gravitational effects. What would presumably happen is that it would fall rapidly like in free fall towards the core due to earth's gravity, absorbing the mass it's falling through in an exponential growth. And certainly it wouldn't accelerate earth's mass to anything near lightspeed (the speed of information in an optical cable). Only a completely wild guess I'd say more than a minute and less than an hour.I

      --
      Live today, because you never know what tomorrow brings
    12. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by eln · · Score: 5, Funny

      it would be destroyed almost immediately due to Hawking radiation.

      Awesome. I always knew Stephen Hawking was a badass, but now I find out he's a superhero with the power to destroy black holes!

      I can see it now: thousands of people panic through the streets, while Stephen Hawking slowly wheels himself into a phone booth, only to fly out a second later and fly to the black hole, destroying it instantly with his Hawking radiation eye-beams! That's going to be sooo cool!

      I must admit, his disguise is ingenious. I never suspected he was anything other than a mild-mannered physicist.

    13. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by eln · · Score: 2, Funny

      Only a completely wild guess I'd say more than a minute and less than an hour.I

      So probably not enough time to find the nearest woman and convince her you're a virgin and don't want to die that way. Unless it's closer to an hour, in which case I could probably pull that trick on two or three women.

    14. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by icebike · · Score: 4, Funny

      Oh, thank heavens... So beach front property in Geneva is still a good investment then...?

      --
      Sig Battery depleted. Reverting to safe mode.
    15. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by tritonman · · Score: 1

      You don't understand, that's the beauty of it, you don't NEED to get your affairs in order because EVERYONE will die!

    16. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by 42forty-two42 · · Score: 1

      Most likely it would take a long time (years, maybe decades) to reach a dangerous size. However, once it consumes enough of the core to produce a hollow cavity, we might begin feeling it on the surface.

    17. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Drakin020 · · Score: 1

      I think the fear is more so of a Strangelet and a black hole.

      --
      The greatest revenge in life is massive success.
    18. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by mrsquid0 · · Score: 1

      The end is near Drink more beer

      --
      Just because you are paranoid does not mean that no-one is out to get you.
    19. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Nos. · · Score: 4, Funny

      No way, I'm not getting sucked into that again.

    20. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by geekoid · · Score: 1

      it will be so small it will evaporate instantly.

      Or maybe it did happen, and the black hole is causing time to reverse and we only think it's linear.

      Or maybe the hadron collider being activated created the universe and we are hurdling backwards in time toward a bigb smush.

      --
      The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    21. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by kungfugleek · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yeah. He looks totally different without his glasses. You can't even recognize him.

    22. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Chris+Burke · · Score: 5, Funny

      I can see it now: thousands of people panic through the streets, while Stephen Hawking slowly wheels himself into a phone booth, only to fly out a second later and fly to the black hole, destroying it instantly with his Hawking radiation eye-beams! That's going to be sooo cool!

      The image is funnier to me if he never gets out of his wheelchair. He slowly wheels up, has his machine say "Take this, you bastard", and then the Hawking Radiation spews forth!

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    23. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by eln · · Score: 1

      How about if he wheels up to it and says "Have some of my boom shakalakalakalaka boom shakalakalakalaka boom shakalakalakalaka boom" and then fries it?

      I'm telling you, we have potential Oscar gold here!

    24. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by cowscows · · Score: 1

      Also, even if they do form and are stable, they'll likely be moving at a very high speed in relation to the earth, and will likely fly off into space, never to be heard from again.

      --

      One time I threw a brick at a duck.

    25. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Asztal_ · · Score: 5, Funny

      Kingons and Queons are believed to travel faster than the speed of light, but I hear it's quite difficult to harness their power.

    26. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by lgw · · Score: 1

      A stable micro black hole would not grow particularly quickly. It would absorb individual atoms only by collision. Given it would be stable only if Hawking radiation doesn't happen, the block hole would likely eat one proton, gain an orbiting electron, and stop growing at that point.

      --
      Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.
    27. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by alexj33 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      The bad news: The world might come to an end.

      The good news: Michael Bolton's going with us.

    28. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by MyLongNickName · · Score: 4, Funny

      For frame of reference you have about 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 atoms in your body.

      If I am mostly carbon, that'd make me around 300lbs. Are you assuming I am American?

      --
      See my journal for slashdot ID's by year. Mine created in 2005. http://slashdot.org/journal/289875/slashdot-ids-by-year
    29. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by cHALiTO · · Score: 1

      +1 Pratchettian reference

      Turns out torturing small monarchs to modulate the signal wasn't very practical after all :)

      --
      "Luck is my middle name," said Rincewind, indistinctly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad." -- Terry Pratchett
    30. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by clone53421 · · Score: 1

      You also contain quite a bit of water, which is significantly lighter per atom than pure carbon.

      --
      Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
    31. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Pontiac · · Score: 1

      Swiped from here
      http://www.physicsforums.com/showpost.php?p=1002158&postcount=28

      In classical black hole theory, the rate of interaction (and therefore accretion) would increase quadratically as the mass increased; that is, until it became Eddington limited. A black hole can't accrete too quickly or else the radiation pressure will blow away the surrounding matter. This results in a mass accretion rate that goes linearly with mass, leading to exponential growth of the black hole. The e-folding time for this accretion should be of order tens of millions of years. To accrete the earth, the black hole needs to undergo about 115 e-foldings -- that'll take several billion years

      --
      If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur. --Red Adair
    32. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Chris+Burke · · Score: 1

      I love it. You keep working on the script, I'll call Jerry Bruckheimer.

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    33. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by corbettw · · Score: 4, Funny

      That makes me feel much better. Although, how did a micro-blackhole on Earth end up with the mass of Earth...?

      <panic mode on>

      --
      God invented whiskey so the Irish would not rule the world.
    34. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by cleatsupkeep · · Score: 1

      Not enough time for you!!

      Oh... wait...

    35. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I take it that you're implying it's safe enough for weight loss purposes then?

    36. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by MyLongNickName · · Score: 1

      But it doesn't make for a witty comeback...

      --
      See my journal for slashdot ID's by year. Mine created in 2005. http://slashdot.org/journal/289875/slashdot-ids-by-year
    37. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by BigGerman · · Score: 1

      >> So I think we'd hear about it first.
      That is what NO CARRIER meme is for ;-)

    38. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Orange+Crush · · Score: 3, Insightful

      And let's not forget that it would be forged by particle colisions at relativistic speeds, making it pretty likely to begin life with more than enough velocity to careen out into space, never to bother us again.

    39. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by ShibaInu · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Honest question about Hawking Radiation - how do we know it really exists? As far as I know we've never directly observed a black hole and we've certainly never created one in the lab, so where is the experimental evidence to support it? Shouldn't you say that we THINK Hawking Radiation would destroy said black hole?

    40. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by dupup · · Score: 1
      IIRC, the real danger is accidentally creating a runaway conversion of the matter of the earth into strangelets.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strangelet#Dangers

    41. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I don't know; I'm pretty good at stuff like that. I've watched all the Superman movies and know for sure that

      SPOILER ALERT * SPOILER ALERT * SPOILER ALERT

      Clark Kent is really Superman. Those glasses don't fool me one bit!

    42. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Orange+Crush · · Score: 1

      Actually, that would be "Boom De Yada."

    43. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by FunkyELF · · Score: 1

      Go on youtube and search for CERN black hole, there was a 4 part radio interview. It will start out very very slow but it will increase rapidly. So much so that it will be undetected for about 5 years, and then you will only have minutes before we all die (or go to another dimension). This, by the way lines up up for the end of the Mayan calendar.

    44. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Born2bwire · · Score: 1

      Black holes like hell, I want to know whether or not it could make Ice-Nine.

    45. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by f1r3f0g · · Score: 4, Funny

      Screw the towel. Where's my crowbar?

    46. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Repossessed · · Score: 1

      Has anybody actually provided math that can be used to determine this?

      --
      Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite (TM)
    47. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by TheLostSamurai · · Score: 5, Funny

      So probably not enough time to find the nearest woman and convince her you're a virgin

      I'm sure you won't have to do much convincing.

      --
      I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.
    48. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by ginoledesma · · Score: 1

      won't somebody think of the children? :(

    49. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by porcupine8 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Doesn't that just mean that once it swallows the whole earth it'll only be 1.5cm?

      --
      Warning: Apple/Nintendo fangirl. Likes her electronics cute & cuddly. May be rabid.
    50. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by gnuman99 · · Score: 1

      Not to worry. We will soon.

    51. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Well, if one is created (impossible at these energies according to the Standard Model), it would be destroyed almost immediately due to Hawking radiation.

      What if Hawking Radiation doesn't pan out? It's only a theory.

      Not to mention, it's a close on possibility quantum tunneling may allow it to begin spontaneously eating other atoms...

      Of course. George Noory seemed skeptical of that idea....

    52. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by elh_inny · · Score: 1

      That makes me feel much better. Although, how on earth a micro-blackhole on Earth end up with the mass of Earth...?

      There fixed it for ya.

    53. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Joebert · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Wait till you see those goddamn bats.

      --
      Wanna fight ? Bend over, stick your head up your ass, and fight for air.
    54. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by tenco · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Why eat one proton? Since they're smashing protons, wouldn't the blackhole already have a positive electric charge?

      Stop growing at that point is clear enough for me: it has still only the gravitational pull of a few proton masses, hardly enough to be significant at these scales. Electromagnetism rules them big time.

    55. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by elh_inny · · Score: 1

      IMHO, the real problem is stupid people, worrying about the wrong kind of things.

    56. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by tenco · · Score: 4, Informative

      If I am mostly carbon, (...)

      You're not.

    57. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by samurphy21 · · Score: 1

      Several people do, but then they end up on Chris Hansen's show.

    58. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by david.given · · Score: 5, Interesting

      A black hole with the mass of the Earth has, at one Earth-radius, a gravitational attraction of 1g. (In other words, if you were on the far side of the moon, and the Earth suddenly turned into a black hole, you wouldn't notice.) Closer, it would be much higher. Half an earth radius from the black hole it'd be 4g, a quarter of an earth radius it'd be 8g, etc --- one kilometre away it'd be 4 million g, and one metre away it'd be 3x10^14 g. That's gonna hurt.

      So if somehow you were to magically create the 5x10^41 Joules of energy necessary to create a black hole the size of the Earth, on the Earth, I suspect we'd probably know immediately, subject to light speed limits, as the direction of down shifts abruptly followed a few seconds later by the disintegration of the planet and collapse into a accretion disc of white hot plasma. That is, those parts of the Earth that are not blasted outwards by the collapse event, which is what astrophysicists would call 'violent'.

      (Of course, *now* I realise that you were actually originally talking about the end result after the consumption of the earth by a tiny black hole, but I've done all the maths now, dammit. So I'm going to post anyway. Besides, once the tiny black hole reaches about .1 earth mass it's still going to be pretty spectacular.)

    59. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Holy shit!!!! Clark Kent is Superman?!?!?!?!?!? My mind is totally blown.

    60. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Ogive17 · · Score: 2, Funny

      A black hole with the mass of the Earth still only has Schwarzschild radius of 1.5cm

      I see your Swhwarzschild is as big as mine.

      --
      "Action without philosophy is a lethal weapon; philosophy without action is worthless."
    61. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by qualidafial · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yeah. He looks totally different without his glasses. You can't even recognize him.

      That doesn't make any sense! He wouldn't be able to see.

    62. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by peragrin · · Score: 1

      well it is no worse than most of what hollywood has put out recently.

      --
      i thought once I was found, but it was only a dream.
    63. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      my pants are now damp from laughter.

    64. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by corbettw · · Score: 1

      Dear elh_inny,

      In reviewing recent edits to prominent Slashdot posts, it has been pointed out that your most recent edit left off an important preposition, rendering the edited sentence grammatically confusing. As such, your editing services will no longer be required.

      We wish you luck in your continued efforts, whatever they may be.

      Sincerely,

      corbettw

      --
      God invented whiskey so the Irish would not rule the world.
    65. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by mako1138 · · Score: 1

      Hawking Radiation is theoretical, yes, but it's "less" theoretical than creating black holes at the LHC, which relies on some speculative string-theory related business, IIRC.

    66. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Snaller · · Score: 1

      "Even if it somehow does, they will very likely dissipate in fractions of a second."

      Along with the earth!

      "So it would take billions of lifetimes (or more) for you to even notice the effects if one were stuck in you."

      Assuming you know everything.

      --
      If Google really cared they would fix Android Chrome to reflow text, instead of discriminating
    67. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by eonlabs · · Score: 1

      The odds of a resonance cascade scenario occurring are infinitesimally small, so I wouldn't worry...

      --
      I wouldn't consider the mad hatter mad. Just reality impaired. He sure can make a mean cup of tea.
    68. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by KingOfBLASH · · Score: 1

      What if the hawking radiation theory is wrong and the string theory is correct? Can they be exclusive? Or are they tied together?

    69. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by niteice · · Score: 2, Funny

      Creating micro black holes at the LHC is also a theory, and highly speculative at that.

      --
      ROMANES EUNT DOMUS
    70. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I would hazard you are mostly water. And not completely solid and compact.

    71. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by nitehawk214 · · Score: 1

      If I am mostly carbon

      You are certainly not mostly carbon. You are mostly oxygen (in the form of water). Carbon is however, the #2 contributor of mass.

      Chemical Makeup of the Human Body.

      --
      I'm a good cook. I'm a fantastic eater. - Steven Brust
    72. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Fuji+Kitakyusho · · Score: 2, Informative

      7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 atoms (7E27) / 6.0221E23 atoms/mole = 11623.85214 moles of atoms. Using the oversimplification of the body being entirely water, you have a 2:1 ratio of hydrogen atoms to carbon. Thus, 11623.85214 / 3 = 3874.617382 moles of water molecules. 3874.617382 x 12.011 g / atom C (46538.02937 g C total), + (3874.617382 * 2 * 1.00797) g / atom H (7810.996164 g H total) = 54349.02553 grams, or 54.34902553 kilograms, or 119.8190911 pounds (* 2.20462262 lbs / kg) - approximately two-fifths of the weight of a 300 pound American. Stick that in your pipe and --induce high energy collisions with-- it.

    73. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by tftp · · Score: 2, Interesting

      You have a nice way to explain things. However on my planet water is H(2)O, not H(2)C like on yours. Would such a molecule even exist? (IANAC)
      H-C---C-H

    74. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by blazer1024 · · Score: 1

      The saddest thing about the NO CARRIER meme is that most kids these days have no idea what it even means.

    75. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by KingOfBLASH · · Score: 1

      You know what I don't understand? If people, really, truly, 100% believe that the LHC is going to cause the end of the world, why aren't you selling your possessions, buying a plane ticket to switzerland, and doing everything in your power to stop it? Blowing it up, or killing some dignitary, or SOMETHING. I mean, if you're dead anyways, why not?

    76. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      For frame of reference you have about 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 atoms in your body.

      If I am mostly carbon, that'd make me around 300lbs. Are you assuming I am American?

      Well, we are mostly water, which is mostly hydrogen, which is a fair bit less massive than carbon.

    77. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by indi0144 · · Score: 0, Redundant

      In case of that scenario I'd choose the crowbar over the towel, it's proven by many many years of simulation that a crowbar is the only thing you need in order to survive such a doom scenario. Also without the towel you don't have to wait to the end of episode 3 to lay down that hot daughter of you fellow scientist friend. Also be prepared for unforeseen consequences.

    78. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's called acetylene.
      HTH, HAND.

    79. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      There's a very solid theoretical basis for Hawking radiation. The absence of said radiation would imply some important things about black holes -- things that make the likelihood they'd be produced in the LHC much lower.

      You can, however, totally discard unproven theoretical statements (no matter how likely they are) and derive a lot of information about possible black-hole production from first principles. You'd enumerate all the things we currently know about black holes that would need to be wrong, determine some basic information about what that would imply about black hole production due to existing radiation in the universe, and then determine from that if there would be observable effects of these things being true. There's a paper on this that does exactly this and notes that the apparent age of certain types of stars in the galaxy implies that this sort of black-hole production is impossible.

    80. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Good thing you're not mostly carbon. Depending on body fat content, between 45% and 75% of your weight is water. Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_water. "Carbon based" != "mostly carbon"

    81. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Fuji+Kitakyusho · · Score: 1

      Holy brain fart. That'll teach me to post after working all day...

    82. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Fuji+Kitakyusho · · Score: 1

      I still can't believe I did that, but nevertheless, replace all instances of C with O, replace 12.011 with 15.9994, and recompile.

    83. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by rastos1 · · Score: 1

      Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

      Actually that is not true. Darkness is there much sooner before the light comes. If you ever watched the country at sunrise you would see that light moves at slow pace of molten gold.

      Apologies to Terry Pratchett.

    84. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by JohnFluxx · · Score: 1

      > one metre away it'd be 3x10^14 g. That's gonna hurt.

      Just to point out... acceleration itself doesn't hurt. What hurts is if your feet are accelerated faster/slower than your head. If you fall into a small or normal blackhole, the difference in force between your head and feet is very large and would tear you apart.

      However if you fell into a supermassive black hole (say, the size of a few million suns), the difference in force as you cross the event horizon would be near zero and wouldn't be noticable.

    85. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by UnHolier+than+ever · · Score: 2, Informative

      Following that point of view, we don't know that black holes exist either. However, we have observed (in cosmic rays) particles with more energy than the particles at LHC will create, and these particles did not destroy the earth.

    86. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by MetalBlade · · Score: 1

      Shouldn't you say that we THINK Hawking Radiation would destroy said black hole?

      Enough physicists have said that even though a black hole might be created, it won't be a problem. They have studied it long enough for me to trust them without understanding how those things work.

      They might be wrong, but so could other engineers who build bridges and airplanes, and that doesn't stop me from trusting that those things will work.

    87. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by neonux · · Score: 2, Funny

      Titanium 0.000013%

      So if Morbo announces a mine disaster at the only supply of Titanium, my body will still be worth basically nothing... so disappointing!!

      --
      @neonux
    88. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Jellybob · · Score: 1

      It's string theory. You can't put string *anywhere* without it getting tied together, so my guess is we'll spend several weeks attempting to untangle Earth.

    89. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by phoenix321 · · Score: 1

      Rick Berman called, he wants this idea for the final episode of Star Trek TNG a decade ago.

      Will Patrick Stewart save us again?

    90. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by phoenix321 · · Score: 1

      Or we could stuff our new blackhole in one of our nuclear waste disposals. They are certified to be safe for 4 billion years, aren't they?

      On a plus side, we may get rid of that pesky nuclear waste that way...

    91. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by phoenix321 · · Score: 1

      I like your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

    92. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by kipman725 · · Score: 1

      I sewed it to the corner of your towel

    93. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Wavebreak · · Score: 1

      You're quite right, it isn't proven by any means. However, stuff disappearing into a black hole for eternity is a physical oddity that seems at odds with our understanding of the universe, and hawking radiation is a solid hypothesis for explaining that away, and the math works, so it is generally considered likely to be true.

      --
      Nobody expects the British Columbia Human Rights Tribunal.
    94. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by erlando · · Score: 1

      Just to point out... acceleration itself doesn't hurt. What hurts is if your feet are accelerated faster/slower than your head.

      Also known as spaghettification.

      Coolest word in astrophysics. :-)

      --
      Remember, there are no stupid questions. But there are a lot of inquisitive idiots.
    95. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Recompile ?!!! WTF ?! haven't you people heard of parameters and variables ? damn chemists

    96. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What are you talking about. Stephen Hawking wears glasses. Super Radiation eye-beams Man doesn't wear glasses. He wouldn't be able to see!

    97. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by mako1138 · · Score: 1

      It's highly unlikely. String theory can basically be anything, so it's not that useful from a predictive standpoint. From Backreaction:

      First of all, mini black holes at the LHC are an option only if one of the theories of "large extra dimensions" would in fact be true. But of course, these theories are only speculations so far. Second, should mini black holes be created in high-energy particle collisions, they would evaporate very fast, due to Hawking radiation. Though Hawking radiation has not been experimentally verified so far, its existence is expected in almost all theoretical scenarios investigated (no matter where you go, you will always find somebody who disagrees on something).

    98. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by DarthVain · · Score: 1

      Maybe a stupid question, but can black holes micro or otherwise gobble each other up? Is this how the super massives are created?

      I am just thinking, sure a little pesky micro black hole is nothing, eating one atom at a time etc... however what if several thousand micro black holes are created simultaneously? All in the same spatial area. All gobbling up one atom at a time, but then one micro cannibalizes another, doubles, and now has an increased ability to gobble atoms two at a time, and cannibalize other micros faster, etc... Would this not create an exponential chain reaction that could potentially devour the world? Of course I am a bit fuzzy on the timeline of all this happening, but still it sounds plausible at least.

      I remember there was a book written by David Brin called "Earth" I think that looked into this very idea, or something close to it.

    99. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by WeeLad · · Score: 1

      Done. All I have left in this world is my Slashdot ID. If it's not the end of the world, I'm gonna be pissed!

      --
      Seriously, Don't take anything I say seriously.
    100. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      >my pants are now damp from laughter.

      You have genetalia that laughs?!? Video, or it didn't happen.

    101. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The image is funnier to me if he never gets out of his wheelchair. He slowly wheels up, has his machine say "Take this, you bastard", and then the Hawking Radiation spews forth!

      Something like this? (see 2:30)

    102. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I dunno about you but my micro-black-hole is exit-only.

    103. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by digitalsolo · · Score: 1

      Ice-nine is only dangerous if you play your clarinet...

      --
      Just another ignorant American.
    104. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by kalirion · · Score: 1

      Even if they doe form, and are stable, they will be so small so as to sink to the center of the earth and star devouring it at the alarming pace of 1 atom a year.

      1 atom the first year.
      2 atoms the second year.
      4 atoms the third year.
      .
      .
      .

    105. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by coopex · · Score: 1

      C2H2 would be acetylene, but that's two carbons and has a triple bond. CH2 only exists in the middle of most hydrocarbons, otherwise it'd be extremely reactive because of wanting two hydrogens of equivalents.

      --
      The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
    106. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by kmac06 · · Score: 1

      Where did you get that number for the energy necessary to create the black hole? The earth turning into a black hole would release a lot of energy, not consume it. All of the gravitational potential energy would be released. Of course there is the question of how you actually compact the matter into a 1.5 cm sphere. So maybe that's the energy you're talking about.

    107. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by david.given · · Score: 1

      I'm assuming that the actual work gets done by magic, and just calculated what the mass of the Earth is, turned into energy. At this scale, you can't get away from the fact that mass and energy are equivalent.

      In fact, if you could collapse the Earth into a black hole, there'd be very little change in the amount of energy in the system --- because most of the energy is tied up in mass, and that mass isn't going anywhere. You will get some losses in radiation, debris flung off etc, but they'll be insignificant in comparison.

    108. Re:Get your affairs in order, people by kmac06 · · Score: 1

      OK I think I follow you. You aren't saying that's the energy needed to turn the earth into a black hole, but the energy needed to produce an earth-mass black hole.

  3. Aaaahhhhhhh !! by unity100 · · Score: 4, Funny

    It is a good day to die !!!!!

    1. Re:Aaaahhhhhhh !! by Sunshinerat · · Score: 1

      It is a good day to die !!!!!

      Expect the world to end a couple of days before that. There must be at least one scientist who cannot controls his patience, breaks, and quietly switches it on.
      "I could not wait, I wanted to see how it worked, if only for a couple of seconds...").

      Hummmmmm...whop!, and the world is gone.

      --
      Load New Commander (Y/N)?
    2. Re:Aaaahhhhhhh !! by dgatwood · · Score: 2, Insightful

      If it disrupts time itself, perhaps it will have already happened by now. :-D

      --

      Check out my sci-fi/humor trilogy at PatriotsBooks.

    3. Re:Aaaahhhhhhh !! by SlipperHat · · Score: 1

      It is a good day to die !!!!!

      Fear not! You've activated Warcraft II's God Mode.

    4. Re:Aaaahhhhhhh !! by hamburger+lady · · Score: 1

      Hummmmmm...whop!, and the world is gone.

      i figured someone would blame it on the italians. typical.

      --

      ---
      Is this the MPAA? Is this the RIAA? Is this the DMCA? I thought it was the USA!
    5. Re:Aaaahhhhhhh !! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's a good day to get laid! Who can resist pickup "What's a nice girl like you is doing in a place devoured by a black hole like this"?

    6. Re:Aaaahhhhhhh !! by shlompo · · Score: 2

      Glittering Prizes!!!!

  4. Timeline rewriting to begin shortly thereafter... by jeffb+(2.718) · · Score: 0

    ...so do whatever you feel like doing, because it'll all be erased and rewritten anyhow. Unless, of course, we're finally in the timeline where the LHC never quite works.

  5. Obligatory LHC by psyclone · · Score: 4, Informative

    The other LHC

    1. Re:Obligatory LHC by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You sir, have bested me. I bid you a due.

    2. Re:Obligatory LHC by Vectronic · · Score: 1

      +1 Informative?...lol...shit...

      How about Les Horrible Cernettes
      (note the "Welcome To Adobe GoLive 6" Header, can't beat quality like that)

    3. Re:Obligatory LHC by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      NSFW! Damn you!

    4. Re:Obligatory LHC by (pvb)charon · · Score: 1

      Where's my "-1 Disturbing" modifier when I need it...

    5. Re:Obligatory LHC by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Pfft. Call me when they fire up the THC.

  6. This is great! by Urger · · Score: 0

    I have a project due the week after, looks like I can just relax until judgment day then.....

    1. Re:This is great! by gnick · · Score: 1

      Sorry, FTS they're only running a few "test laps" - Not actually smashing anything. Get to work.

      TFA doesn't say when they actually plan on destroying earth.

      --
      He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.
    2. Re:This is great! by gnick · · Score: 1

      Although it does say:

      Once stable circulating beams have been established, they will be brought into collision, and the final step will be to commission the LHCâ(TM)s acceleration system to boost the energy to 5 TeV, taking particle physics research to a new frontier.

      So I guess they're not waiting long after the "test laps" mentioned in the summary. OK. Blow off your project.

      --
      He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.
    3. Re:This is great! by Urger · · Score: 1

      Consider it down!

  7. If the world turns into a stranglet by PJCRP · · Score: 0, Redundant

    I fucking called it.

    --
    Knows everything about nothing and nothing about everything.
    1. Re:If the world turns into a stranglet by evwah · · Score: 2, Funny

      two bad nobody will even be able to care who called it.

    2. Re:If the world turns into a stranglet by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Let's preemptively care that way we have something to do.

  8. I hope goes a lot more smoothly... by iXiXi · · Score: 1

    ..than the launch of Microsoft Windows XP. Will anyone forget the BSOD live?

    1. Re:I hope goes a lot more smoothly... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That was so funny, I forgot to laugh.

    2. Re:I hope goes a lot more smoothly... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      That was so laugh, I forgot to funny.

    3. Re:I hope goes a lot more smoothly... by DeadManCoding · · Score: 1

      Steve, is that you?

      --
      "The only constant in the universe is change." - Unknown author
    4. Re:I hope goes a lot more smoothly... by PJCRP · · Score: 0

      Laugh was so funny, I forgot to that

      --
      Knows everything about nothing and nothing about everything.
    5. Re:I hope goes a lot more smoothly... by doombringerltx · · Score: 1
    6. Re:I hope goes a lot more smoothly... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      In Soviet Russia, funny forgets YOU.

  9. Day after tomorrow? by Smivs · · Score: 1

    Well the day after my birthday actually. So my pressie from the scientists at CERN is going to be the end of the world. A day late. Ain't life grand!

    1. Re:Day after tomorrow? by Tim+C · · Score: 1

      You think you've got it bad? I'll be getting it a day early - at least you'll get to see your birthday!

    2. Re:Day after tomorrow? by Smivs · · Score: 1

      Don't be glum, Tim. Looks like your birthday will go down in history (see below). Except there won't be any history anymore. Maybe the extra-terrestrials will notice, and your birthday will become famous galaxy-wide as the day the Human race commited collective suicide.

  10. They start smashing particles the next day by Zordak · · Score: 2, Interesting

    They actually start smashing particles the next day. Which is Sept. 11. Oh, wait...

    --

    Today's Sesame Street was brought to you by the number e.
    1. Re:They start smashing particles the next day by tjstork · · Score: 3, Funny

      Yep... Bin Laden is about to be upstaged by a supercollider. The whole war on terror to avenge the destruction of the a few buildings in NYC will seem moot after a couple of european scientists accidentally suck the entire state into a black hole.

      --
      This is my sig.
    2. Re:They start smashing particles the next day by flyingsquid · · Score: 4, Funny
      Yep... Bin Laden is about to be upstaged by a supercollider. The whole war on terror to avenge the destruction of the a few buildings in NYC will seem moot after a couple of european scientists accidentally suck the entire state into a black hole.

      Maybe we've finally figured out why we haven't had any luck with SETI yet? Perhaps any civilization advanced enough to begin broadcasting in the radio spectrum will, within 100 years, start running scientific experiments that are sufficiently dangerous to cause the extinction of the species? Is that possible?

      On second thought... that's a silly theory, never mind! I'm going to go back to my very important medical experiments. It's pretty cool stuff, actually. I'm using virus-borne DNA to reanimate dead cells to help critically ill people. I think I'm on the verge of a breakthrough but they're going to cut off my funding if I don't get any results soon! Maybe I'll have to take a few shortcuts... use highly unstable, mutation-prone RNA instead of DNA... maybe skip straight to the human testing phase using this cadaver I have lying around my lab...

      Anyhow, have a good day everybody!

    3. Re:They start smashing particles the next day by steelfood · · Score: 1

      A few days later, Bush will announce the Patriot Act II, which will provide federal funding to the states to suck more.

      --
      "If a nation expects to be ignorant and free in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be."
    4. Re:They start smashing particles the next day by Zordak · · Score: 1

      You better get busy if you're planning to go "live" 28 days before they turn on the LHC.

      --

      Today's Sesame Street was brought to you by the number e.
    5. Re:They start smashing particles the next day by Torodung · · Score: 1

      Perhaps any civilization advanced enough to begin broadcasting in the radio spectrum will, within 100 years, start running scientific experiments that are sufficiently dangerous to cause the extinction of the species? Is that possible?

      Occam's Razor. The reason extraterrestrials haven't crossed interstellar distances to visit us is probably because it isn't possible to cross interstellar distances safely. No doomsday scenario necessary.

      The entire science fiction industry is a desperate fantasy constructed against the utter desolation that logically accompanies Einstein's relativity.

      Welcome to the lonely universe. Space is big. Really big. It's far enough to the chemist without having to worry about how far away the nearest ET is. ;^)

      --
      Toro

    6. Re:They start smashing particles the next day by Tim+C · · Score: 1

      They do? Cool! Sept 11th is my birthday - I didn't even know they knew, let alone would arrange the timing of such a major project around it. That's so sweet!

    7. Re:They start smashing particles the next day by kalirion · · Score: 1

      Occam's Razor. The reason extraterrestrials haven't crossed interstellar distances to visit us is probably because it isn't possible to cross interstellar distances safely.

      Safely for whom?

      Personally, I find this scenario to be more likely.

  11. Oops by Mr.Fork · · Score: 3, Funny

    I can see it now...
    Dr. Dieter Kriegstien: "Acceleratz protonz to maximumn speedz. Dr. Smitz, please pushz zat big ved button."
    Dr. Keron Smith: "Pushing big button... you meant the blue one didn't you Dr. Kriegstien?"
    Dr. Dieter: "Insolenze...vait... vat iz dat veading on zee scopz? Hmm.. it lookz like a microsopikz vack ol..."

    And at this point, the entire mass of the Earth is sucked into a minature black hole the size of a pinhead over a period of 2 microseconds. :)



    Of course, in reality, this is as likely as me winning a superball jackpot lottery, 10'000 timse in a row. But I just CAN'T HELP MYSELF!

    --
    Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. - Peter F. Drucker
    1. Re:Oops by dimeglio · · Score: 1

      "...look, itz fullz of staarz"

      --
      Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the author.
    2. Re:Oops by Khue · · Score: 1

      Do we have any statistics experts around? If you were to play the superball jackpot lottery and everything was the same each time you played it wouldn't the chance of winning it 10000 times in a row be the same as winning it 1 time? I thought the out come of one superball lottery does not affect the odds of the subsequent superball lotteries.

    3. Re:Oops by DirePickle · · Score: 1

      The chance of winning 10000 subsequent times is Probability-of-winning^10000. However, for each one of those 10,000 times, regardless of the result of the previous time, the probability of winning is the same as it was the previous time.

    4. Re:Oops by sarlos · · Score: 1

      The odds of each individual win is, indeed, identical. However, he says "10,000 in a row" which implies winning succesively and, therefore, each event depends on each prior event. You must win it once, then win it again, and again, ad nauseum.

      --
      Government's view of the economy: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving,regulate it. If it stops moving, subsidize it.
    5. Re:Oops by Nos. · · Score: 1

      Lets bet on the outcome of 100 flips of a quarter. Given that the odds of any one flip are 50/50, then 100 flips shouldn't be any different right? So, even odds, $100, I'll bet you can't flip it 100 times and gets heads every time.

    6. Re:Oops by WoRLoKKeD · · Score: 1

      Actually, I think it'll go more like this. "Uh...it's probably not a problem...probably...but I'm showing a small discrepancy in...well, no, it's well within acceptable bounds again. Sustaining sequence." "Nothing you need to worry about, Gordon. Go ahead."

      --
      Immolation is the sincerest form of flattery.
    7. Re:Oops by clone53421 · · Score: 1

      Um, no. You're totally wrong. And stuff.

      For example, flipping a coin is an independent trial with a 50% probability of heads. Flipping a coin twice has a 50% probability of getting a head each time, but a combined probability of 25% for getting two heads.

      --
      Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
    8. Re:Oops by clone53421 · · Score: 1

      I'll bet you twice. If the odds are 50/50, you ought to be able to win once... ;)

      --
      Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
    9. Re:Oops by lgw · · Score: 1

      Don't you mean:

      "The probability of a resonance cascade is quite small."
      "Dr. Freeman doesn't need to know about that." Go ahead, Gordon, step into the reactor."

      --
      Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.
    10. Re:Oops by voxel · · Score: 1

      I think more like winning the superball jackpot lottery an infinite number of times in a row.

      --
      Modesty is one of life's greatest attributes
    11. Re:Oops by CorporateSuit · · Score: 1

      Oooh... Sounds like someone has a lot of faith placed in scientists who believe in the possibility of "rolled up dimensions" and are turning on a machine whose sole purpose is to do things they don't yet understand and can't predict, but hopefully (otherwise a lot of money down the tubes) are related to big-bang physics and solar-system-destroying forces.

      Remind me to play you in poker sometime, because I'm sure you think it's infinitely impossible odds to beat any of your 2-of-a-kind's when I admittedly start the game with 2 Queens up my sleeve.

      --
      I am the richest astronaut ever to win the superbowl.
    12. Re:Oops by Emperor+Zombie · · Score: 1

      Prepare for unforeseen consequences.

      --
      I'm so excited I just made water in my pantaloons!
    13. Re:Oops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You must be asking yourself now: "Do I feel lucky?"

    14. Re:Oops by Thiez · · Score: 1

      I call bullshit. I flip coins all the time but I never get head.

    15. Re:Oops by clone53421 · · Score: 1

      Wrong head, silly.

      --
      Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
    16. Re:Oops by zippthorne · · Score: 1

      Tail is better than head, anyway. Also, less is better than more. (in fact, you can do more with less if you know the right arguments).

      --
      Can you be Even More Awesome?!
    17. Re:Oops by voxel · · Score: 1

      Ye have little faith.

      Technically, it is POSSIBLE although highly improbable to win the super jackpot lottery an infinite number of times in a row.

      See what I did there?

      --
      Modesty is one of life's greatest attributes
    18. Re:Oops by Nos. · · Score: 1

      Bet we twice that you'll flip heads 100 times in a row? Your on.

    19. Re:Oops by clone53421 · · Score: 1

      No, my comment was directed not at you but rather at the same guy you were replying to...

      --
      Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
  12. The End is Nigh by itsybitsy · · Score: 2, Funny

    Ok. Sept 10 plus one day to warm up. Sheeze couldn't they have picked another date for the end of the world?

    Ok, in the Naked Science episode which featured the Large Hadron gizmo they said that some people are concerned that "the micro black holes they create could consume an *entire* city..." then they paused for a short while and added "... and the entire earth!". Love that pause.

    Other than that I got nothing.

    1. Re:The End is Nigh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      no no no. They promised all the black holes will harmlessly evaporate.
      http://www.livescience.com/environment/060919_black_holes.html
      So I guess you better still do your homework this week end dude.

    2. Re:The End is Nigh by itsybitsy · · Score: 1

      Well they did also say that too. Heck it's a just a tv science show so they have to add some drama otherwise they loose the nut job belief driven faith freak demographic (Al Gore et. al.). Humans love drama.

  13. Man... by neostorm · · Score: 0, Troll

    Worlds most expensive toy... I would love to fire a few protons down CERNs tubes...

    1. Re:Man... by smooth+wombat · · Score: 1

      Actually, I would love to be fired down the CERN tubes. Ripping around those kilometers at high speed like you were on a bobsled run, only without the bobsled and no true turns (just one big one). Now if only there was a way to:

      1) suspend me between the magnets
      2) not turn my body into an organic puddle from the acceleration and later, the centripetal forces

      --
      We will bankrupt ourselves in the vain search for absolute security. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower
  14. Cern - by isotope23 · · Score: 3, Funny

    All yer antimatter is belong to us - Cern

    --
    Service guarantees Citizenship! Questions Guarantee GITMO.... Amerika Uber Alles!
    1. Re:Cern - by jd · · Score: 2, Funny

      Press releases are aways written in really weird English, so I've found a converter to turn it into something more readable.

      --
      It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
    2. Re:Cern - by UnknowingFool · · Score: 1

      Somebody set up us the micro black hole.

      --
      Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
  15. scary by pdwestermann · · Score: 0

    knowing very little about what the ramifications of this project include didn't seem to bother me half as much as simply looking at the pictures and thinking it looked like the powerful thing ive ever seen

  16. Re:Timeline rewriting to begin shortly thereafter. by PC+and+Sony+Fanboy · · Score: 4, Funny

    Unless, of course, we're finally in the timeline where the LHC never quite works.

    OR the timeline where you're the only non-cloned human left alive, surrounded by clones of your ex-girlfriend. Then you'll wish you didn't get on her bad side right before 'the accident'.

  17. What a nice gift... by ActionDesignStudios · · Score: 1

    September 10 is my birthday! I get a big dose of doomsday!

  18. Its actually a plot... by PC+and+Sony+Fanboy · · Score: 1

    What you don't realize, is that it is a giant extra terrestrial plot designed to prevent you from receiving superpowers on your birthday. honest.

  19. Time to go on my spending spree by No2Gates · · Score: 1

    We're all going to die, I just know it....

    --
    Every time you call tech support, a little kitten dies.
    1. Re:Time to go on my spending spree by SBrach · · Score: 5, Funny

      Your statement is true even if they never turn on the LHC.

    2. Re:Time to go on my spending spree by kalirion · · Score: 1

      Speak for yourself. I'm going to ascend to a state of pure sentient energy as soon as Brother Bob finishes passing out the Kool-Aid.

  20. Nostrdamus predicts the end by LHC!!! by itsybitsy · · Score: 1

    "Our old friend Nostradamus' words ring from the grave with this grim prediction:

    Nostradamus quatrain 9 44:

    Leave, leave Geneva every last one of you,
    Saturn will be converted from gold to iron,
    "Raypoz" will exterminate all who oppose him,
    Before the coming the sky will show signs.

    Did Nostradamus predict the Large Hadron Collider?

    Will the Earth disappear into a black hole of its own making?"
    http://www.virginmedia.com/digital/science/endoftheworld.php?vmsrc=vmhpld

    Stay tuned for next weeks exciting adventures of Earth Sucking Black Holes!!!

    1. Re:Nostrdamus predicts the end by LHC!!! by itsybitsy · · Score: 1

      Did Nostradamus predict the LHC will create a Black Hole?
      http://youtube.com/watch?v=ozjq80IF9dg

      Ah yes, the nut jobs come forth...

      Underground search for 'God particle'
      http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4229545.stm

      Hunting for the God Particle
      http://youtube.com/watch?v=9OnMjhp8RwM

      THE LUCIFER PROJECT
      http://youtube.com/watch?v=3-baLC03wUU

      Spooky people who take this shit seriously. Yikes.

      Oh and any physicist who uses the word "god" needs to be place in front of their own particle accelerators and vaporized.

    2. Re:Nostrdamus predicts the end by LHC!!! by Mascot · · Score: 2, Informative

      Yeees.. His predictions always seem to come true.

      Assuming you count people interpreting them to fit past events as coming true. I can't remember a single instance of someone interpreting Nostradamus as predicting something *before* it actually happens, and in fact having just that happen.

    3. Re:Nostrdamus predicts the end by LHC!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Oh and any physicist who uses the word "god" needs to be place in front of their own particle accelerators and vaporized.

      "I do not believe in a God who plays... *ZAP*" --Albert Einstein

      Congratulations. You just killed the foremost physicist of the 20th century. Moron.

    4. Re:Nostrdamus predicts the end by LHC!!! by Daimanta · · Score: 1

      Well, what did you expect?

      "And the Large Hadron Collider is starteth and it will produce a sinister void that will be untouched by the magical waves of the one known as Hawkins. And the sinister void, small as the ring of the pope will eat the earth and send all children of God to the heavens."

      Duh, that's the point of predictions. They are no fucking tom-toms.

      --
      Knowledge is power. Knowledge shared is power lost.
    5. Re:Nostrdamus predicts the end by LHC!!! by CCFreak2K · · Score: 1

      If they're made after something happens, wouldn't that make them postdictions?

      --
      "Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master."
    6. Re:Nostrdamus predicts the end by LHC!!! by religious+freak · · Score: 1

      Amazing that the myth of Nostradamus still hangs on even after the ONE specific date he mentioned was incorrect:

      The year 1999, seven months
      from the sky will come a great King of Terror.
      He will bring back to life the great king of the Mongols.
      Before and after war reigns happily.

      source:http://www.nostradamusquatrains.com/Century10/Quatrain72.htm

      I didn't see any King of Terror drop from the sky in July '99... maybe I missed it?

      --
      If you can read this... 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100111 01100101 01100101 01101011
  21. The Date by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    It's an interesting date. 9-10-8. Like a botched countdown.

    1. Re:The Date by TheAngryIntern · · Score: 1

      that's the US way to write the date. In Europe the date will be written as 10-9-8, probably why they chose that day, i'd imagine.

    2. Re:The Date by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      One! Two! Five! (three sir!) Three!

      click
      building hum
      lights flicker
      phizzle sound
      white smoke
      everything goes dark

  22. OB Futurama by notnAP · · Score: 4, Funny

    FARNSWORTH: So what are you doing to protect my constitutional right to bear doomsday devices?

    N.R.A. MAN: Well, first off, we're gonna get rid of that three-day waiting period for mad scientists.

    FARNSWORTH: Damn straight! Today, the mad scientist can't get a doomsday device, tomorrow it's the mad grad student. Where will it end?

    1. Re:OB Futurama by pha7boy · · Score: 1

      OB Simpsons: But I'm mad now!!! (Homer when he finds out there is a 5 day waiting period to buy a gun)

      --
      -- All this knowledge is giving me a raging brainer.
    2. Re:OB Futurama by Gat0r30y · · Score: 1

      I never go anywhere without my LHC to produce microscopic black holes.... for duck hunting

      --
      Prediction: The real iPhone killer is going to be sex robots from Japan. Think about it.
    3. Re:OB Futurama by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

  23. To be heard on Mars, 9/10/2008: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Where is the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom! This makes me angry, very angry indeed."

  24. Avoid Slashdot on September 10th. by rugatero · · Score: 1

    I guarantee, I can already see a thousand Slashdotters preparing their best "NO CARRIER" jokes.

    --
    This comment is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to real insight or information is purely coincidental.
  25. Push the button, Dr. Freeman by wreave · · Score: 5, Funny

    Looks like 9 September will be a good day to charge up my HEV suit and sharpen my crowbar...

    1. Re:Push the button, Dr. Freeman by hansamurai · · Score: 1

      I'll actually be at some company called Aperture Science that week doing some volunteer tests, so I should be nice and safe there. They supposedly even have cake.

    2. Re:Push the button, Dr. Freeman by goofyspouse · · Score: 1

      I have it on good authority that the cake is a lie.

    3. Re:Push the button, Dr. Freeman by rpj1288 · · Score: 1

      It's all part of the test. But don't worry, it will be a triumph! A huge success!

      --
      Marvin knew: "Think of a number, any number..."
    4. Re:Push the button, Dr. Freeman by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Is it ever really a bad day for that?

    5. Re:Push the button, Dr. Freeman by fprintf · · Score: 1

      I predict that it will be really hard to overstate my satisfaction!

      --
      This post brought to you by your friendly neighborhood MBA.
  26. Why worry? by ryants · · Score: 1

    Dr Ray Stantz: You know, it just occurred to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment. Dr. Egon Spengler: I blame myself. Dr. Peter Venkman: So do I. Dr Ray Stantz: Well, no sense in worrying about it now. Dr. Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.

    --

    Ryan T. Sammartino
    "Ancora imparo"

  27. mmmhmmmm by mseidl · · Score: 1

    Particle physics gives me a hadron!

  28. Anyone else getting this error from that link? by ChangeOnInstall · · Score: 5, Funny

    HTTP 599
    Service Permanently Unavailable

    The server you are trying to contact has crossed the event horizon of a black hole.

    --
    What has *science* done?!? -- Dr. Weird (ATHF)
    1. Re:Anyone else getting this error from that link? by Darth_brooks · · Score: 3, Funny

      HTTP 599
      Service Permanently Unavailable

      The server you are trying to contact has crossed the event horizon of a black hole.

      You left out:

      "if this problem persists, please contact your Systems Administrator"

      --
      There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
    2. Re:Anyone else getting this error from that link? by Experiment+626 · · Score: 5, Insightful

      That would be HTTP 410.

      "The 410 (Gone) status code SHOULD be used if the server knows, through some internally configurable mechanism, that an old resource is permanently unavailable and has no forwarding address." (RFC 2616)

      There's no excuse for such incorrect implementation of standard protocols, even if the catastrophic destruction of the earth is involved.

    3. Re:Anyone else getting this error from that link? by DamnStupidElf · · Score: 1

      "if this problem persists, please contact your Systems Administrator"

      Restore from the 9th's tapes, please!

    4. Re:Anyone else getting this error from that link? by IronChef · · Score: 1

      HTTP 299
      Service Permanently Unavailable
      The server you are trying to reach is outside your light cone.

    5. Re:Anyone else getting this error from that link? by smellotron · · Score: 1

      You silly goose, HTTP 2xx responses are reserved for successful cases! You're looking for 401 Not Found or 410 Gone. Or more likely, errno=ECONNREFUSED at the socket level :)

    6. Re:Anyone else getting this error from that link? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      There's no excuse for such incorrect implementation of standard protocols, even if the catastrophic destruction of the earth is involved.

      Yes, especially since CERN invented the web, not Al Gore.

    7. Re:Anyone else getting this error from that link? by religious+freak · · Score: 1

      Can someone send back a beacon with the location of the white hole we'll be spit out of, please? Oh, and don't forget to shutdown Phoenix too.

      --
      If you can read this... 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100111 01100101 01100101 01101011
    8. Re:Anyone else getting this error from that link? by IronChef · · Score: 1

      Dang, you are right. I was trying to be all clever since the speed of light is 2.99e10 cm/sec.

  29. I think the most interesting outcome by al0ha · · Score: 0
    of this experiment will be if they are unable to detect the, "God Particle," the Higgs boson.

    Admittedly a slim chance but if so; so very exciting as it means we humans must face the fact that the only thing that exceeds our arrogance is our imagination.

    --
    Did you ever wake up in the morning, with a Zombie Woof behind your eyes? -- FZ
  30. First actual use scheduled on... by dkh2 · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    December 21, 2012

    Coincidentally, this is the date on which the Mayan Calendar rolls over.

    --
    My office has been taken over by iPod people.
    1. Re:First actual use scheduled on... by FunkyELF · · Score: 1

      Actually, someone predicted that if we created these black holes they would be undetectable for about 5 years then we'd only have a matter of minutes before we all die. So, if that guy is right then we're right on schedule.

    2. Re:First actual use scheduled on... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If there is a God, I highly doubt we'd be able to destroy ourselves in such a clumsy un-evil experimentation. If there isn't a God, what does it all matter anyway? P.S. I'm not an anonymous coward, I'm just to lazy to sign up. Lol.

  31. Uhm, the title makes me giggle... sorry... by Sparky9292 · · Score: 1, Redundant

    Large Hadron Collider Goes Live September 10th

    Sorry, I keep seeing:

    Large Hard-on Collider Goes Live September

    It's really sad that my sense of humor has not progressed since junior high school. *sigh*

  32. It's always 9:11 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting

    Perhaps this explains why I regularly "just happen" to look at the clock at precisely 9:11 at least 6 times a week. It used to give me chills and now it's just pissing me off. It's been happening for a few years and I actually started to purchase survival shit before the last two 9/11s. I think this one has a higher probability of being something of significance. On a lighter note, it's probably just some massive coincidence that I keep looking at the clock at 9:11...

    1. Re:It's always 9:11 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Are you sure the clock is actually working?

    2. Re:It's always 9:11 by potHead42 · · Score: 1

      On a lighter note, it's probably just some massive coincidence that I keep looking at the clock at 9:11...

      it's called a synchronicity

    3. Re:It's always 9:11 by nysv · · Score: 1

      It is just cognitive bias. It's known as the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon.

    4. Re:It's always 9:11 by sm62704 · · Score: 1

      Massive 911 coincidence? My life is full of coincidences. From a five year old K5 diary

      I smelled gasoline, and started looking for a good place to check things out. As I started eyeing the shoulder, a "WOOMP!!" sound came out from under the hood, along with thick black smoke. The engine died at the same time, and I wrestled the car to the side of the road.

      Power steering and power brakes are great... until you have no power.

      There were flames licking around the hood, and I tossed the thermos out and got an old coat from the trunk to try and beat the flames out. I pulled the hood release- and it came out by a foot. I ran around to the front and started beating at the flames with the old coat.

      A guy stopped, and had a fire extinguisher. I emptied it as he called 9-11. Which, the policeman later noted, were the last three digits of my vehicle identification number.

      --
      mcgrew's razor: Never attribute to stupidity that which can be explained by greedy self-interest
    5. Re:It's always 9:11 by naapo · · Score: 1

      I always happen to look at my clock at precisely 13:37. It's weird.

    6. Re:It's always 9:11 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The number 23... always 23...

  33. Aug 9 vs. Sep10 by barakn · · Score: 1

    There is no conflict between the two dates. Aug 9 is an injector test and Sep 10 is when they test the main ring.

    --
    "I'm so moist I'm sticking to the leather." -Kermit the Frog on The Late Late Show
  34. Crowbar already sent to CERN by Xian97 · · Score: 5, Funny

    A red crowbar has been sent to CERN in anticipation of the LHC particle accelerator going online.

    http://www.destructoid.com/reddit-sends-crowbar-to-scientists-to-protect-against-headcrabs-98281.phtml

    1. Re:Crowbar already sent to CERN by Joseph+Hayes · · Score: 1

      Hahahaha.... excellent Half-life reference

      --
      "The irony when tending a flock of sheep is the dogs you put in place to protect them are genetically mutated wolves"
    2. Re:Crowbar already sent to CERN by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    3. Re:Crowbar already sent to CERN by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This reminds me of this HL level:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoMhD24wzbg

  35. Out of this world. by synth7 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Advice to the scientists: When you first get back up after the explosion, make sure to stay away from the lip of the pit one screen to your left.

    1. Re:Out of this world. by Tonxey · · Score: 1

      I'm gonna be cool and say I got the reference. Damn it, I had mod points just yesterday.

  36. Top 10 Ways to DESTROY the Earth!!! by itsybitsy · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Darn the LHC is only number eight on the list. http://www.livescience.com/technology/destroy_earth_mp-1.html

    Sucked into a microscopic black hole

    You will need: a microscopic black hole. Note that black holes are not eternal, they evaporate due to Hawking radiation. For your average black hole this takes an unimaginable amount of time, but for really small ones it could happen almost instantaneously, as evaporation time is dependent on mass. Therefore you microscopic black hole must have greater than a certain threshold mass, roughly equal to the mass of Mount Everest. Creating a microscopic black hole is tricky, since one needs a reasonable amount of neutronium, but may possibly be achievable by jamming large numbers of atomic nuclei together until they stick. This is left as an exercise to the reader. [I love that part].

    Method: simply place your black hole on the surface of the Earth and wait. Black holes are of such high density that they pass through ordinary matter like a stone through the air. [Yeah, so then how will I place it *on* the Earth. Lousy instructions.] The black hole will plummet through the ground, eating its way to the center of the Earth and all the way through to the other side: then, it'll oscillate back, over and over like a matter-absorbing pendulum. Eventually it will come to rest at the core, having absorbed enough matter to slow it down. Then you just need to wait, while it sits and consumes matter until the whole Earth is gone.

    Highly, highly unlikely. But not impossible.

    Earth's final resting place: a singularity of almost zero size, which will then proceed to happily orbit the Sun as normal.

    Source: "The Dark Side Of The Sun," by Terry Pratchett. It is true that the microscopic black hole idea is an age-old science fiction mainstay which predates Pratchett by a long time, he was my original source for the idea, so that's what I'm putting.

    1. Re:Top 10 Ways to DESTROY the Earth!!! by krazytekn0 · · Score: 1

      Only one problem... this isn't a bouncy ball thing, I highly doubt the black hole will fall anywhere near to the opposite side of the earth, as the black hole falls more and more of the mass of the earth will be behind it, acting on it gravitationally so the much more likely thing to happen is that the black hole will fall and begin decelerating falling just past the center of the earth due to it's momentum oscillating back and forth for a short time and then coming to rest at the center from where it can begin to devour the earth.

      --
      Not all life is cyber. Extra Income
    2. Re:Top 10 Ways to DESTROY the Earth!!! by clone53421 · · Score: 3, Informative

      You don't know much about physics, do you? Gravitation acting alone would indeed cause it to oscillate forever. Think of it in terms of conservation of energy: potential energy varies with height, and since total energy must be conserved, every time the velocity is reduced to zero the height has to be the same.

      The only factor that will reduce its energy is when it physically impacts other particles, resulting in a net gain of mass and a conservation of momentum (velocity decreases proportionally). Since it would be microscopic in size, it wouldn't hit much matter anyway so the deceleration would be slow... it also wouldn't cause much damage because it wouldn't consume much matter for the same reason.

      --
      Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
    3. Re:Top 10 Ways to DESTROY the Earth!!! by imsabbel · · Score: 2, Interesting

      You, like most other people, just dont understand how fucking small the schwarzshild radius of such a black hole would be.

      If all the energy of both particles gets converted into mass, and all the matter end up in a tiny black hole, this will have an energy of 5TeV max, which is less than 10^-22 kg.
      Now the schwarzschild radius is 2*m*G/c^2.
      This results in about 10^-50m, about a billion trillion times less than the planck lenght (which already tells us that this aint you normal black hole anymore).
      Even if it could exist at that size, looking at the crossection it could travel all the way to the center of the earth and just missing every matter.
      In fact, taking this tiny size into account, i dont think a proton or neutron could even get into ...

      --
      HI O WISE PRINCE. WHT TOOK U SO DAM LONG?
    4. Re:Top 10 Ways to DESTROY the Earth!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      On average, it would hit about 1 atom a second.
      Plus it has a gravitational pull as well, and as you get closer to the center of the earth, you have a mass above you acting on you as well.

    5. Re:Top 10 Ways to DESTROY the Earth!!! by clone53421 · · Score: 1

      Its gravitational pull, though existent, would be small. Its high rate of speed means that stationary atoms wouldn't be captured. It'd have to literally smash into them; it would be moving too quickly for its gravity to accelerate the particles into itself.

      --
      Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
    6. Re:Top 10 Ways to DESTROY the Earth!!! by krazytekn0 · · Score: 1

      I am wrong, but not at all for the reason you cite. I never said anything about the black hole hitting anything. I was referring to something I read without first thinking it out. That sometimes happens to me when I haven't slept in 3 days.

      --
      Not all life is cyber. Extra Income
    7. Re:Top 10 Ways to DESTROY the Earth!!! by Lost+Race · · Score: 1

      It is true that the microscopic black hole idea is an age-old science fiction mainstay which predates Pratchett by a long time

      E.g. "The Hole Man" by Larry Niven, (c) 1973.

  37. My 2 cents by electricbern · · Score: 5, Funny

    If nothing comes from this demonstration but a black hole it will definitely suck.

    --
    alias possession='chmod 666 satan && ls /dev > il && tail daemon.log'
    1. Re:My 2 cents by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If nothing comes from this demonstration but a black hole it will definitely suck.

      Sorry I missed, did you work for Fox or CNN

    2. Re:My 2 cents by CorporateSuit · · Score: 5, Funny

      I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation.

      --
      I am the richest astronaut ever to win the superbowl.
  38. Service Permanently Unavailable by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Some theorize you might be able to reconstruct the packets from the hawking radiation, but the latency would still really suck.

  39. Yes by Roger+W+Moore · · Score: 1

    There are too many cosmic rays and neutrons stars in the universe for them to be dangerous even if we can produce them.

  40. Latency vs. Gravity by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Given the latency of the interweb, will I actually get to see the black hole on the webcast, or will I get swallowed up by it first?

    Or to take it even further, maybe I'll see myself on the live webcast being swallowed up by the black hole. Whoa, my brain is starting to hurt.

  41. NYTimes Prints Large HARDon Collider by itsybitsy · · Score: 2, Funny
    1. Re:NYTimes Prints Large HARDon Collider by X0563511 · · Score: 1

      It takes a lot of guts to follow that link, but it is perfectly safe. Scan of a newspaper, and a screenshot of a Google search result backing up the scan.

      --
      For large sets, this will be our guide even unto death, for the LORD will work for each type of data it is applied to...
  42. Re:More appropriate OB Futurama by Darth_brooks · · Score: 1

    FARNSWORTH: Yes it's the apocalypse alright. I always thought I'd have something to do with it.

    --
    There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
  43. Supercollider? by monktus · · Score: 1

    I just met her!

    --
    Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel."
  44. Grammer Politzei by Sta7ic · · Score: 1
    From TFS: "they're just planning run a few tests laps"

    I expect the scientists will pay more attention than the slashdot editors?

  45. Gotta post this anonymously... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ...because admitting that I read the headline as "Large Hardon Collider" is just far too embarassing.

  46. Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by Kabuthunk · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Yes, I'll probably get modded troll or something for this, but it needs saying.

    There's many comments in here about "oh, what about Sept. 11... couldn't they pick a better day?" and the like.

    NEWS FLASH: The rest of the world does NOT come to a screeching halt every Sept. 11th. All points of business are NOT put on hold on that one day of the year. The rest of the world has moved on, if they even stopped to begin with. GET OVER IT!

    LHC isn't even located in the USA for christ sakes.

    Yes, the Sept. 11 events were sad, but seriously... stop criticizing all events taking place somewhere on earth on or around that date.

    --
    Planet Zebeth - Metroid with a twist
    1. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by Chris+Burke · · Score: 5, Funny

      Are you saying that 9-11 didn't change everything?

      Because 9-11 changed everything.

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    2. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by Kabuthunk · · Score: 1

      And therein lies the problem.

      Guess what... Cyclone Nargis changed everything for a lot of people too on May 3rd. Wanna guess what the odds are the world will come to screeching halt next May?

      --
      Planet Zebeth - Metroid with a twist
    3. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by corbettw · · Score: 1, Troll

      Does it really have to be said, for the billionith time, that Slashdot is not an international Website, but one built and geared towards Americans? It's been in the FAQ for 12 years now, when will people get over it?

      --
      God invented whiskey so the Irish would not rule the world.
    4. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by Chris+Burke · · Score: 1

      Sorry I don't have an appropriate Family Guy quote for this one.

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    5. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by nEoN+nOoDlE · · Score: 1

      let's just get rid of September 11th, so we could always remember, and instead go straight from September 10th to the 12th. That way nothing of importance can ever happen on September 11th.

      --
      Don't trust a bull's horn, a doberman's tooth, a runaway horse or me.
    6. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by D-Cypell · · Score: 4, Funny

      "The rest of the world does NOT come to a screeching halt every Sept. 11th."

      The rest of the world is still scratching it's head trying to figure out what significant event happened on the 9th of November.

    7. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by 3.14159265 · · Score: 1

      Well, to be fair, those in charge were the ones who changed everything. The cynic in me thinks the vested interest in turning everyone in scared sheep spoke higher.
      So, 9/11 shouldn't have changed everything, because nothing really changed. People have died, and life goes on.

      More than 40000 deaths per year in fatal traffic accidents should put things in perspective.

    8. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You insensitive bastard. The murder of Allende and installation of Pinochet ruined the lives of tens of thousands and brought about massive torture. Spare a thought for the victims of Sept. 11.

    9. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by geekoid · · Score: 1

      Here is one:
      "You sir, are an ass."

      My favorite still is:
      Peter:"Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'"
      Brian: "Peter, those are Cheerios."

      --
      The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    10. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by RealGrouchy · · Score: 1

      I thought the date was playing on the 8-9-10 pattern in 2008-sept-10, sorta like how the Beijing Olympics are starting on 8/8/8.

      - RG>

      --
      Hey pal, this isn't a pleasantforest, so don't waste my time with pleasantries!
    11. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Well, I guess it will be a day both US and Europe will both remember fondly. Scary!

    12. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by vaz01 · · Score: 1

      I don't get it either.

      Nov 9 2005 - Halo 2 came out?
      2004 - initial release of Firefox?
      1994 - Darmstadtium is discovered?
      1921 - einstein gets a nobel prize for work with the photoelectric effect?

      Wikipedia not helping, too many geeky things on Nov 9... maybe it's a USA thing.

    13. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      WHOOSH!

    14. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by Urkki · · Score: 1

      Does it really have to be said, for the billionith time, that Slashdot is not an international Website, but one built and geared towards Americans?

      Now these aren't contradictory. Slashdot may very well be built and geared towards Americans, yet still be international website.

      And only way to stop that would be to start limiting access or rights from international IPs. Until then, nyah nyah, here we are, behaving like we own the place, moderating and metamoderating and submitting stories and fantasizing about taking your fantasy women. ;-)

    15. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by 3waygeek · · Score: 2, Informative

      The rest of the world is still scratching it's head trying to figure out what significant event happened on the 9th of November.

      I was born.

    16. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by Ihlosi · · Score: 1

      LHC isn't even located in the USA for christ sakes.

      Why would it matter where it is if it destroys the whole world anyway ?

    17. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "There's many comments in here about "oh, what about Sept. 11... couldn't they pick a better day?" and the like."

      Where?

    18. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      disaster!!! oh the humanity!!!

    19. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by MacAnkka · · Score: 2, Informative

      In the US, dates are written month first, day second. So 9/11 means 11th of september in the US. In pretty much the rest of the world, dates are written day first, month second. So 9/11 means 9th of November in the rest of the world. Thats the joke, if you didn't get it.

    20. Re:Ok, seriously... enough with the Sept. 11 crap by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Because 9-11 changed everything.

      You know, I always got annoyed when people said this, because it's clearly bullshit. But then I heard somebody in federal law enforcement talk about it, and they finally articulated what they really mean:

      Before 9-11, they were expected to catch perpetrators of crimes (after the fact). After 9-11, they believe they now must prevent the crimes (terrorist attacks) from happening.

      That's the fundamental change. And at some level, they're right: the administration has convinced the sheep to be afraid, and so the sheep expect the government to prevent terrorist attacks.

      But of course, it's an impossible task: you can't prevent everything. And so you have a blank check to become more and more repressive.

      But many people in law enforcement genuinely feel that their responsibility has changed. So rather than making fun of the people who say "everything changed", we need to be spreading the word that "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself", and then we don't need the government to protect us from such incredibly unlikely events.

  47. takes 42,600 microseconds by peter303 · · Score: 1

    The Earth is .0426 light seconds wide. Nothing is faster than celerity.

  48. Notify the IEDAB by flink · · Score: 1

    I hope CERN has done the responsible thing and notified the International Earth-Destruction Advisory Board of an upcoming possible Earth-destroying event.

    1. Re:Notify the IEDAB by SamSim · · Score: 4, Funny

      If the Earth is completely destroyed, you will be the first to know.

    2. Re:Notify the IEDAB by wonkdiva · · Score: 1

      If so, I hope it's quick, as in a blink of the eye. Or it could follow us around like one big pacman, in which case we could try to be one step ahead, thereby no longer being the most obese nation, I think its called the black hole diet.

  49. Newtonion violation and Non-consuming destruction by misterjava66 · · Score: 1, Insightful

    re:

    Even if they doe(sic) form, and are stable, they will be so small so as to sink to the center of the earth and star[t] devouring it at the alarming pace of 1 atom a year

    ---------

    I think this voilates newtons law that 'a body in motion remains in motion unless it is pushed/pulled by something' (paraphrasing)

    The micro-black whole would only stop at the bottom of the gravity well if it was consuming matter.

    btw, don't forget about the relativistic beams that shoot off of the mbh.
    A mbh could shoot off relativistic beams of matter that cause fission/fusion/reorganization of matter in a way that could destroy the earth without consuming a single atom.

  50. On what channel? by e1ghip · · Score: 0

    On what channel this large hardon will be live?

  51. its starcraft by unity100 · · Score: 1

    you insensitive clod

    1. Re:its starcraft by LiquidFire_HK · · Score: 2, Informative

      No it's not. The Corsairs saying it is (very likely) in reference to the Warcraft II cheat code. Which, I'm guessing, is a reference to something else.

    2. Re:its starcraft by unity100 · · Score: 1

      well, corsairs are saying it, right ? that makes it starcraft for me.

  52. Re:Timeline rewriting to begin shortly thereafter. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I thought they already sorted this out when they stopped the SSC. Why can't they for once fix the timelines so they stay fixed instead of putting bandaids on them every couple of decades.

  53. Maybe This Is Really Old School... by saudadelinux · · Score: 1

    ...but how do we know all that steel and magnets and dry ice and whatnot isn't a smokescreen, and that there are actually 23 guys totally and colossally wasted on absinthe, yage and tincture of wobbegong adrenal glands, chanting the full text of Al-Azif ... BACKWARDS? :D

    --
    I didn't think the house band in Hell would play this badly.
  54. Seeing it on the ISS by misterjava66 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Could you imagine what it would be like to be on the ISS when the earth is destroyed by a LHC mbh.

    The earth would fold up, only a 1% consumption would be needed to make it impossible to land on the earth and survive, but if the earth all went in a few hours or less. wow. And with the angular momemtum of the earth, the mbh would have to rotate on the earth's axis and the mbh would send its radiation beams away from the iss so the iss could be survivable from that prospective. Also, the aero drag would be gone and so orbital reboost would not be needed. I wonder how long they could survive? Also, since the mass of the earth/mbh doesn't change, all those nasty time-drag effects won't happen at the orbital distance of the iss.

    It would make a nice sci-fi short story noir if a multi-year survival could be speculated.

    Regards.

    1. Re:Seeing it on the ISS by domino14 · · Score: 1

      they probably don't have more than a year's worth of food. also the black hole would be spinning incredibly fast.. i don't think this'll change anything on the ss (thinks about physics)

    2. Re:Seeing it on the ISS by meringuoid · · Score: 1

      Consider the amount of potential energy when you drop six sextillion tons of mass into a black hole. Because of angular momentum it won't just drop straight in without a trace; it will form an accretion disc, losing that energy by friction and radiating it away. Accretion is about the most efficient energy source known, short of antimatter annihilation. It would, at least for a while, outshine the sun. The ISS astronauts would be cooked.

      --
      Real Daleks don't climb stairs - they level the building.
    3. Re:Seeing it on the ISS by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I wonder in that case if the ISS would suffer problems related to EMP. While the MBH would end up the same mass as the earth, the process of consuming it, and moving all that material around as it funnels in would make for some strong electromagnetic pulses.

      Or, if the MBH did evaporate before consuming all available matter, but still taking a larger bite of it's surroundings than expected, the folks on the ISS would end up sitting in the dark, looking out the windows, as a growing debris cloud rises ponderously toward them.

      Houston? We have a...

      Houston?

    4. Re:Seeing it on the ISS by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What radiation beams? Hawking radiation? That's incompatible with persistent small black holes.

    5. Re:Seeing it on the ISS by Urkki · · Score: 1

      Also, since the mass of the earth/mbh doesn't change, all those nasty time-drag effects won't happen at the orbital distance of the iss.

      Actually, I believe something like 10% of the mass of the Earth would end up being converted to energy in the accretion disk (a figure I've read for bigger black holes, for an Earth sucking one it might be less), so the mass would not stay the same.

      Of course if you consider ISS at a distance of under 7000km from a radiation source that is converting 10% of the mass of Earth to energy, the change of orbit is kind of irrelevant ;-)

    6. Re:Seeing it on the ISS by EnsilZah · · Score: 1

      There's a science fiction called Odyssey 5 with a plot line along those lines, though they were in a shuttle rather than on a space station and then had their consciousness promptly sent back into the past to fix things.

  55. zombies by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    *crosses fingers*

    Come on Zombies!

  56. Its time for 2nd mortgage by Bolkar · · Score: 1

    so that I can enjoy that McLaren F1, before the end of the world...

  57. Obligatory... by Amorpheus_MMS · · Score: 2, Funny

    Prepare for unforseen consequences.

  58. Oh come on.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I was going to turn 21 on the 15th and get super drunk, but I guess that's not going to happen now.

    Thanks alot CERN :(

  59. Re:Timeline rewriting to begin shortly thereafter. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I hear the best way to deal with clones (and ex-girlfriends) is a shotgun. I would expect to die alone happy :)

  60. John Titor here... by Jeremiah+Cornelius · · Score: 1

    Right on schedule!

    --
    "Flyin' in just a sweet place,
    Never been known to fail..."
  61. PARENT NSFW by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Parent is NSFW.

  62. Supercollider ... by pettau · · Score: 1

    ... never met her.

  63. I'm lame by azadder · · Score: 1

    That's my birthday.

  64. By Neruos by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    If a micro-black hole, space rift, time tear or whatever you want to call it is created, it will do more then 1 atom per year. Depending on how big the black hole is and how it grows. Black holes are theory right now, what if matter itself, increases the size of a black hole by adding mass and thus gravity. Currently, some say a black hole swollows matter at the rate of light. Which in turn can compound per atom absorbed. This could cause a single atom eating blackhole to grow at square until it absorbs all matter within it's gravity reach and then just feed off whatever comes into it's path, including light.

    I got 1237940039285380274899124224 atoms in 60 secs.

  65. already made Black Hole called "World Wide Web" by peter303 · · Score: 1

    That Black Hole probably has consumed trillions of hours of human surfing.
    (World Wide Web was invented at Cern.)

  66. The real end of the world by Mathinker · · Score: 1

    The scientists forgot to compute how many "NO CARRIER" jokes can safely coexist on one forum. On that fateful day, Slashdotters will post one too many "NO CARRIER" jokes and they will collapse into a mega-anti-carrier, swallowing all force carrier particles and ending life as we know it on Earth!

  67. Re:Timeline rewriting to begin shortly thereafter. by meringuoid · · Score: 2, Funny
    OR the timeline where you're the only non-cloned human left alive, surrounded by clones of your ex-girlfriend. Then you'll wish you didn't get on her bad side right before 'the accident'.

    OR the timeline where you're standing on the beach with one girl you never quite dared to ask out, watching bloody chunks of the 500-mile-tall version of the other girl you never quite dared to ask out fall back to earth, and everyone else has been dissolved into a global ocean of yellow goo.

    --
    Real Daleks don't climb stairs - they level the building.
  68. Oh, well. by hey! · · Score: 1

    I guess that means that it'd be insensitive if I unveiled my weather control ray on May 2nd.

    --
    Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
  69. Re:Timeline rewriting to begin shortly thereafter. by Cjstone · · Score: 1

    yellow goo

    Don't you mean Tang?

  70. Re: still in the wheelchair by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    sounds more like Davros then?

  71. To make up for the revolution? by John+Pfeiffer · · Score: 1

    So, the end of the world WILL be televised?

    --

    Friend: "The NIC is misconfigured..." Me: "No prob, I'll just telnet in and fix it." *Silence*
  72. Cern runs on... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Has anyone else noted that the Cern webservers run on Windows, 1 IIS 6.0 and the webcast is Apache w/ mod_python on Windows. Pretty freaking ridiculous if you ask me, I hope their data processing cluster doesn't have a GUI too!

  73. Perfect date.... by ztcamper · · Score: 1

    My cousin is getting married on September 10th... to a physicist!

  74. Re:PARENT MISPLACED by Just+Some+Guy · · Score: 1

    Parent thinks this is Fark.

    --
    Dewey, what part of this looks like authorities should be involved?
  75. Was Brooke Shields a scientist? by wirefarm · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Want to know what gets between me and my Kelvins? Nothing"

    (I guess you will need to be an old fart like me to get that. Sorry.)

    --
    -- My Weblog.
  76. Nothing to worry about by Torodung · · Score: 1

    The Mayans already predicted the world will end sometime in 2012, so this can't be the big one. ;^)

    Besides, a full-on stable black hole could at worse cause us all to start rushing at an infinite pace towards infinite density. The world will simply get slower and thicker, all at once. That's no change at all in my book.

    --
    Toro

  77. What? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    .. You lost me after "Large Hardon Collider".

  78. Re:Timeline rewriting to begin shortly thereafter. by fm6 · · Score: 1

    That actually sounds pretty cool.

  79. Doomguy has a say... by fortapocalypse · · Score: 1

    Yeah, I remembered when this happened... First the hardon collider, then the antimatter stabilized the wormhole, then the demons, then I used the BFG 9000. Case closed.

  80. Hmm by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Which company should I go with for picking black hole insurance? Meatsock inc. or ???

  81. The end of the world! by Snaller · · Score: 1

    Then they'll create a micro black hole and suck the earth into it! So better buy your new stuff now, don't wait for christmas or birthday!

    --
    If Google really cared they would fix Android Chrome to reflow text, instead of discriminating
  82. Seriously... by ESSBAND. · · Score: 2

    Can people here drop the inane "we're all gonna die" meme in regards to the LHC? It's not funny and it perpetuates some silly myth that the mainstream media can pick up on. I would like to think that /. is a little better than fark (is fark still around?); Isn't the readership here a bit more educated?

    Every LHC story has more "jokes" than any talk of potential new physics or any discussion on whether this beast will even work. It's a damn sight more complicated than any facility previously built, and even though I desperately want it to work, I have my doubts we'll see first collisions within the first year of operations.

    If the LHC is a failure, it essentially signals the end (in our lifetime, at least) of any more high-energy physics programs being pursued, especially in the US. The ILC has already been tabled pending first results from LHC.

  83. Even with units things can get confusing by sfm · · Score: 1

    This reminds me of a news report when the shuttle tried re-entry with damaged tiles. The report stated that the temperature on the left wing was 15 Degrees (C) hotter than expected. And for all of us metric challenged Americans, the reporter incorrectly translated that to be 59 Degrees (F) hotter than the normal temperature in that part of the wing. It took me a minute to realize the translated number was 32 degrees off. I never heard a correction on that, but I guess they were pretty distracted by that time.

    1. Re:Even with units things can get confusing by Bastard+of+Subhumani · · Score: 1

      15 degrees centigrade is a big difference if it's around room temperature - it's the difference between feeling uncomfortably cold and uncomfortably warm. At the temeperatures of a shuttle on re-entry, it's the difference between OMG fucking hot and OMG fucking hot.

      --
      Only three things are certain; death, taxes, and apocryphal quotations - Ben Franklin.
  84. Virtually Zero? by mdm42 · · Score: 1

    There is virtually zero chance the LHC will produce micro-black holes.

    So I guess that makes it finitely probable that it will. So all I need to do is stick the end of this LHC thingie into a decent Brownian Motion Generator, and voila... the Infinite Improbability Drive!

    --
    New mod option wanted: -1 DrunkenRambling
  85. Sept. 10 is not really the starting date. by rasmack · · Score: 2, Informative

    That date is picked from the fact that the accelerator guys tell us they need two months from the end of the beam pipe bake-out (right about this weekend) to get "a circulating beam".

    Now, what does this mean?

    It means that there are good odds that they will be able to get at least one pilot bunch of protons in stable circulation by that date. We're not talking about the full ~3600 bunches and most important: There will be no beam in the other direction. IOW all we will be doing up until some time November is to do comissioning with beam-gas interactions (there is always residual gas in the beam pipe).

    If we're lucky we will have a few weeks of actual collisions this year. I don't want to think of the odds that they will be at anything approaching 10 TeV. 14 TeV is already out of the question due to a couple of bending magnets that can't sustain the current needed.

    This press release just shows that management want to report something big. In fact it would probably be better for the accelerator people to commision both beams at the same time but that would of course postpone the big party...

  86. what wories me most. by PermanentMarker · · Score: 1

    What wories me most about the LHC is the folowing:
    When the hydrogen bomb was made; during its creation proces they wher not sure about the risk of a an atmospheric or sea level chain reaction. (there is lots of hydrogen everywhere). Still the scientist continued their testing to see how it behaved.

    The same counts for the LHC, the device is made to test mater beyond our current understanding. So we dont know what will happen; its a giant pandora's box. A sudden magnetic problem resulting in beam focus changes could be dangerous.

    But not as dangerous as some other effects as described in the blog here. just imagine we pump up a micro blackhole this way to become larger. or create an anomality, or japordize the universe's vacuem energy.



    It is science beyond our understanding we shouldnt try to understand it when we're not ready for it. The first time we tried that it, gave us nuclear bombs; what trouble will come this time from this?? antimater bombs ???

    --
    I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change.
    1. Re:what wories me most. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Eat your heart out. Seriously.

      You don't deserve to be reassured. Your fears came out of your own pathetic mind, so you can deal with them (or fail to) as best you can. It has utterly ceased to bother me that people are scared senseless by the work we do, when gratitude and, yes, admiration--there, I said it--are called for. In fact, I'm starting to enjoy it. So you wallow in your sophophobia, and I'll work on destroying your universe (or not).

  87. Crowbar, Halligan Tool, or shotgun? by docwatson223 · · Score: 1

    I'm thinking of getting a Haligan Bar for those pesky Head Crabs!

  88. The day that the earth stood still.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ... is 10 september

  89. CERN are terrorists! Implement the Bush Doctrine! by Money+for+Nothin' · · Score: 1

    Since it will be Sept. 11 somewhere else in the world, clearly this "CERN" group are a bunch of radical Swiss terrorists bent on destroying the world! We must stop them!!!

    (not a great attempt at humor...)

  90. So I Says... by civik · · Score: 1

    Supercollider? I just met her. And then they built the supercollider. Thank you you've been a great audience.

    --
    Make it a malt liquor. I want to be as clever and handsome as possible.
  91. Yes? by zippthorne · · Score: 1

    H-C&8801;C-h

    Oh.. wait.. that's not quite right. You want single-carbon with two double-bonded hydrogens.

    According to http://www.chemexper.com/, "No product found, please try again."

    And according to my former favorite, chemfinder, "irrelevant typosquatting-type ads here"

    --
    Can you be Even More Awesome?!
  92. what wories me most. by clone53421 · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...is that you can't spell, and you're talking about antimatter and hydrogen bombs.

    --
    Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
  93. Great pickup line by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "Hey, Baby, I'm a particle physicist - want to see my large hadron collider?"

  94. What if ET can live to be 2000? by tjstork · · Score: 1

    The whole reason we say interstellar distances are too vast is because we don't live long enough relative to the travel time. But, if someone could live to be 2000 years old, or ten times that, then, taking a long trip from star to star becomes a reasonable, if long, thing to do.

    --
    This is my sig.
  95. Re:Timeline rewriting to begin shortly thereafter. by coopex · · Score: 1

    Anything past episode 20 or so, including the movies, makes a lot more sense if you smoke a bunch of DMT. Well, at least more sense than any ideas you'll be having.

    --
    The road to hell is paved with good intentions.