Burglar Logs Into Facebook On Victim's Computer

yet-another-lobbyist writes to mention that Facebook addiction has finally caused real world consequences, at least for one would-be burglar. It seems that 19-year-old Jonathan Parker couldn't stay away from the popular social networking site, even long enough to rob a house. Parker not only stopped mid-robbery to check his Facebook status on the victim's computer, but left it logged in to his account when he left.

Comments

"You have been poked by the Police"

[CdBee]

Seriously - what a muffin.... Wonder how his addiction will do, in jail...

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[goombah99]

He was framed!

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[JSBiff]

So, will his status for the next 3-5 years be updated to:

JOHN PARKER is serving a sentence in the State Penn.

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[fridaynightsmoke]

Seriously - what a muffin.... Wonder how his addiction will do, in jail...

You are sheriff John Bunnell and I claim my five pounds ;)

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[Jah-Wren Ryel]

JOHN PARKER is serving a sentence in the State Penn.

They are sending him to Philadelphia?

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[SomeoneGotMyNick]

he was iFramed

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[zippthorne]

I doubt it, what with the eighth amendment and all...

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[calmofthestorm]

Hans? They have internet in maximum security prison?

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[Runaway1956]

I read the story, and fell over laughing. Told the wife, she fell over laughing. Told the kids, and THEY fell over laughing. Finally I told the dog, and HE fell over laughing!!

HELP US! WE'VE FALLEN, AND WE CAN'T GET UP!!

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[dow]

If he was in the UK, he'd still be updating his status and commenting on his friends stati even while in prison. He'd get to go home at weekends too, if he wanted to. His cell would more than likely be more comfortable than his home, and what with pool tables, gym access, playstation and satalite TV in his cell (for good behavior only of course) and three good meals a day, with no rent or bills to worry about...

Our prisons aren't like your prisons.

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, thankfully you broke the curse. None of us are laughing at what you wrote.

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[speroni]

Hey, that's an insult to muffins!

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[networkBoy]

Wow...
Can I go to jail in your country now?
I assume entering the country illegally should do ok right?
Do us Yanks need a passport to visit? I can burn mine if that'll help me go to jail (or do I need to pretend that the war of independence hasn't finished up yet?)
-nB

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[sconeu]

Worse. Scranton.

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[K. S. Kyosuke]

Hans? They have internet in maximum security prison?

Yes, but they disallow HTTP traffic, only HTTPS with strongest ciphers is allowed there.

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[TeamMCS]

Is it just me or is this the worst burglar ever? He LEFT THE COMPUTER... Idiot

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[Culture20]

Wonder how his addiction will do in jail...

"You have been poked by Ben Dover."

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[Beve Jates]

Nah, probably not. Robbing, beating, killing, etc.don't get you prison time. After all, violent criminals are hard to take care of and mess up the commercially-run prison's profits.

Now if he had an illegally obtained Britney Spears song on his iPod or maybe some banned plant material in his pocket then yeah, probably 10-30 years in the State Penn.

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[bytemap]

he was iFramed

Why is this funny? ooh, you put an i in front of something that doesn't even have to do with Apple...

I'm assuming because facebook uses iframes?

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[mdwh2]

Do you have a (non Daily Mail) source for this?

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[Anonymous Coward]

nope

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[easyTree]

Here in the UK we tailor our prisons to the individual. As an American, you probably have an expectation of a cell-mate named Bubba and.. we aim to meet or exceed your expectations.

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[fermion]

If he is a prison in texas, he will most certainly be able to gain access to a cell phone with which to update his status regularly. Texas only seems to be able to lock people up, but not actually keep them secure.

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[Dishevel]

An iFrame is .... Ahh forget it. AC and stupid. No way facts are going to make it past your assumptions.

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[StormReaver]

He's about to undergo a bit of poking by others in the near future.

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't you worry, the prison niggers will give him a new circle of friends to connect with morning and night. He will get used to status updates such as "Getting raped by the prison niggers" or "8 cocks in my mouth lol". We will take good care of him and his addiction.

- Signed,
The Prison Niggers

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[Dan541]

Why is this funny? ooh, you put an i in front of something that doesn't even have to do with Apple...

Fucking dumb ass. No wonder you post as AC.

Re:"You have been poked by the Police"

[Narnie]

I first read this as

JOHN PARKER is serving a sentence at Penn State.

And I thought Penn State was a good school.

That was you?

[dmmiller2k]

Parker, you scoundrel!

just too funny

[onepoint]

Darwin effects will always rule!

Re:just too funny

[PinkyGigglebrain]

Unfortunately he will likely still get a chance to contribute to the decline of the the gene pool when he gets out of jail so he is, again unfortunately, ineligible for a Darwin Award. This time.

This is an extreme example supporting my long standing belief that only stupid criminals get caught, the smart ones end up running mega-corps like M$.

This proves the old adage...

[Pig Hogger]

Criminals are stupid.

Re:This proves the old adage...

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually only the ones who get caught are stupid. :p

The rest of us have been doing it for years without so much as a witness.

Re:This proves the old adage...

[TrippTDF]

SOME criminals are stupid... obviously, you never hear about the smart ones.

Re:This proves the old adage...

[lorenlal]

Many believe that it is only a crime if you get caught.

Re:This proves the old adage...

[Anonymous Coward]

Given how many laws there are in the US, and how almost none of us can lead a productive life while knowing of and not breaking all of them, that's probably a good attitude to take :)

Re:This proves the old adage...

[Yvan256]

The others just go into politics.

Re:This proves the old adage...

[mikael]

As one detective once said "Every dumb criminal is a failure of the education system."

Re:This proves the old adage...

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes you do. They fill the politics section of all newspapers.

Re:This proves the old adage...

[Archangel Michael]

SOME criminals are stupid... obviously, you never hear about the smart ones.

Sure you do, they are called congressmen and senators.

Re:This proves the old adage...

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't forget over-leveraging bankers. They got away with a loot to the tune of billions.

Re:This proves the old adage...

[CityZen]

Sorry, but you're mistaken. It's "politician = criminal", not "politician = smart criminal".
Politicians, just like criminals, can be smart and dumb.
You only hear about the dumb ones. I'm not sure if the smart ones exist.
(We never hear about them.)

Re:This proves the old adage...

[kalirion]

Smart ones are the ones who before robbing a house find out the facebook password of one of the neighbors...

Re:This proves the old adage...

[Dullstar]

You have just reached the obvious conclusion!
That guy's IQ was probably something like -1 x (9.94375 x 10^9999999999999999999). Of course, I could have been brutally honest and said that ANY criminal's IQ is around -1 x (infinity^infinity). Simply stated, really really really stupid.

Re:This proves the old adage...

[Anonymous Coward]

The smart criminals become politicians and lawyers ;)

Re:This proves the old adage...

[Archangel Michael]

Ah, but smart criminals are a subset of criminals, and the original post implied that smart criminals don't get caught, and if they do, they don't do time.

If I were a criminal, I'd go into politics, because it is way too easy to get away with crimes as a politician. Tax Evasion? NO PROBLEM! War Crimes? NO PROBLEM! (equal opportunity basher here).

To be a criminal outside of politics is Stupid, and hence, politicians are SMART criminals. It also pays better.

Re:This proves the old adage...

[Anonymous Coward]

Someone may have entered his user name and password. This whole thing could be revenge for all we know. I'd sure want to see some additional evidence to suggest he was ever at this premises and if there is any chance he may have been on the premiss evidence he was there on the day in question. Otherwise it isn't beyond a reasonable doubt. Hell it isn't in even in my preponderance of the evidence sufficient. It just seems like nobody is that stupid.

Re:This proves the old adage...

[jsa95]

*ALL* non-geek social networking users are stupid.

Probably a plug for the Stupid Criminals

[101010_or_0x2A]

section on Jay Leno!

Frame job?

[JSBiff]

Part of me has to wonder if someone else might have logged into the facebook account and left it for the victim to find, to implicate this other fellow?

Granted, there's probably more evidence to tie this guy to the burglary, but, I dunno, this seems *too* convenient.

Re:Frame job?

[Anonymous Coward]

You've got to remember where this happened - Martinsburg, WV... where they old saw goes:

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
Because anywhere else it would have bene called a teethbrush.

Re:Frame job?

[jittles]

Don't underestimate the stupidity of your average criminal. My dad is a lawyer who has defended some really dumb criminals. I remember him telling me one time about a client who got busted for robbing a jewelry store. Apparently on his way to commit the crime he was pulled over for speeding. As luck would have it, he brought the ticket into the store with him and accidentally left it on the counter. Needless to say, it didn't take very long for the police to find him

Re:Frame job?

[Tony Hoyle]

I doubt the police would go for a prosecution just based on a facebook login. It will give them a prime suspect though - which will turn up other evidence, as in this case.

Re:Frame job?

[bilbravo]

There are dumb people everywhere... not just WV. But I suppose the joke was too easy to make so we can't blame you.

Re:Frame job?

[cromar]

West Virginia is very beautiful and the people are relatively nice, as far as my experience goes. They're alright in my book, even if they did steal part of Virginia and side with the Union...

Re:Frame job?

[brian0918]

Granted, there's probably more evidence to tie this guy to the burglary

Yeah... like the fact that he asked a friend if they'd want to help rob the house.....

He also said that the night before the burglary, Parker asked him if he wanted to help break into the victim's home but he refused.

Re:Frame job?

[cromar]

Fr'instance: New River Gorge Bridge

Re:Frame job?

[Brigadier]

I have a few friends who are detectives in two local jurisdictions, one being the lapd. After learning of some interrogation tactics only a seasoned criminal really has a chance, well them and those who are smart enough to request a lawyer immediately. I fully see the following scenario.

cop: So mr iamsosexyinthewv you do realize your mafia wars experience points will be subtracted once this goes to court right !?
perp: What do you mean they will be subtracted when i go to court.
cop: well if you weren't on the scene then they don't count.
perp: Your damn straight I was on the scene, I just got to cuba and i'm not about to go back.

or something like that...

Re:Frame job?

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't know; guy from my high school crawled through an elderly woman's kitchen window and raped her. And dropped his wallet. And didn't realize it. True story; he didn't go straight home so the cops actually got to his apartment before he did and we were waiting for him when came home. People who have no impulse control (in other words, most criminals), really don't have the ability to prioritize like most of us "OK, I'd like to check facebook like I usually do every 5 minutes, but right now the potential negative consequences are just too great."

Re:Frame job?

[mrdoogee]

Unless he told the police without being asked to, wuldn't that make him an accessory to burglary before the fact?
or is accessory only a crime when it comes to murder?

IAO*NAL
*obviously

Re:Frame job?

[Anonymous Coward]

My Mum is a magistrate so she has had some pretty stupid cases. There was one person who overtook a marked police car at 90 mph (the speed limit was 70), he tried to claim that he didn't realise the speed because he was concentrating on the road too much to look at the speedometer.

Re:Frame job?

[clone53421]

If the police car didn't have its lights and sirens on, they should have given the cop a speeding ticket too.

Re:Frame job?

[calmofthestorm]

....wait...refusing to commit a crime is illegal in America now? What's next, thoughtcrime? sigh.

Re:Frame job?

[1800maxim]

nail polish, not nails polish

screwdriver, not screws driver

your joke is weak...

Re:Frame job?

[dgatwood]

Facebook account: Free.
iPhone: $199
Logging into Facebook from your iPhone instead of the victim's computer so you don't get arrested for burglary: priceless.

There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's Mastercard.

Re:Frame job?

[mrdoogee]

I'll bite....

If your friend comes to you and says "I'm going to kill my wife tomorrow. Will you help?"

And you say "No"

But you don't inform the police that your friend is conspiring to commit murder, and the next day his wife turns up dead and he's the killer, then you have committed a crime by not trying to prevent the murder. In other words you've concealed the crime by omission.

That's accessory before the fact.

I was wondering if it applies to theft as well as murder.

Re:Frame job?

[EvanED]

My favorite, from here (recommended watching!) was telling someone who had robbed a house something like "you really affected this family; if you write an apology letter, the judge might go easier on you." (This is basically a lie.) He then says that he'll take the letter and enter it into evidence "as a signed confession... in the suspect's own handwriting."

Re:Frame job?

[Anonymous Coward]

Not to mention the West Virginia government's superior management of their economy.

The latest labor market statistics show that WV's unemployment rate is below the national average (9% vs 9.7%), and the economy there is far healthier than in "sophisticated" states like California (12.2% unemployment) or Washington (9.2% unemployment).

Re:Frame job?

[hawk]

Back when I handled criminals, I had some *real* dumb ones, but my favorite robbed a friend's credit union.

When the police found him, he leaped up to tell them that the money in one pocket was his; that theirs was on the other. And when they brought the teller out to ID him, *he* IDed *her* instead!

Yes, criminals really are this dumb.

hawk, esq

Re:Frame job?

[calmofthestorm]

Ah. Not sure if I agree with that law, I can see some good arguments for and against it. I'd be surprised, but not terribly so, if it applied to less serious crimes.

Not only am I not a lawyer, I have no idea what I'm talking about! You should take my legal advice:-)

Re:Frame job?

[networkBoy]

in the case of polish you act on one nail at a time
in the case of screws you drive one at a time
in the case of teeth you brush many at a time.
[/nit]

Re:Frame job?

[networkBoy]

What if you *genuinely* thought the person was joking.

As in I am asking you if you would like to help me overthrow the government tomorrow.
you would (rightly) assume I am not going to do this.
But I have asked you, seriously, would you like to help me overthrow the government?
If I go off and do it tomorrow would anyone seriously believe you to be an accessory before the fact?

Maybe his friend assumed he was joking, maybe he assumed his friend wouldn't go through with it solo?

To be fair, there has to be reasonable judgment applied to any "before the fact" accusations. I have no idea which way this one should fall.
-nB

Re:Frame job?

[clone53421]

That... doesn't even make sense.

Re:Frame job?

[Anonymous Coward]

OK, I'm going to have to call whoosh on this.

Re:Frame job?

[Anonymous Coward]

But I have asked you, seriously, would you like to help me overthrow the government?
If I go off and do it tomorrow would anyone seriously believe you to be an accessory before the fact?

Of course not. The laws on accessory before the fact are constructs of the government you just overthrew and would not longer have any effect.

We may, of course, be found guilty of disobedience to one's emperor, king or whatever title you chose for yourself which could carry a pretty stiff sentence, depending on how lenient you decided to be.

Re:Frame job?

[Anonymous Coward]

Whereas if he said, "I'm thinking about robbing this house, but it would take two people - would you be interested in helping me?" then you don't know that he will rob it when you say no and should not then be an accessory.

Re:Frame job?

[jellomizer]

Well it would be enough to arrest him. And get additional warents to search his house for the missing items. Then goes to court for that.

Re:Frame job?

[dotgain]

If you could put your anti-authoritarianism to the side just for a minute, while it's possible that the cop was also speeding, absolutely none of the information in the GP suggests this. Even if the cop was travelling at half the speed limit this anecdote could still have played out.

Re:Frame job?

[omnichad]

Hairbrush.

Re:Frame job?

[omnichad]

Agreed * Infinity.

Re:Frame job?

[Anonymous Coward]

You coward! You so deserved the mod points I don't have to give.

Re:Frame job?

[hawk]

No, but it was real. Fortunately I'd moved, and didn't end up with him for a client.

They brought her to the scene, and he said, "Yeah, that's her; she's the one I robbed."

This was a couple of years before the lineup of mugging victims or whatever they were in that spoof movie (Hot Shots?).

Yes, criminals are capital-S STUPID!

If they, as a group, had what we think of as "ordinary intelligence," we'd be in *BIG* trouble . .
hawk, esq.

Re:Frame job?

[djdavetrouble]

Pizza Pants

Re:Frame job?

[networkBoy]

hmmmmm
when all else fails, ad-hominum right? ...
you must be a pinko commie!

Re:Frame job?

[religious freak]

Based on context, I assume you were a defense attorney... how do you even begin to try to defend something like that? Impossible!

Re:Frame job?

[hawk]

In that case, you plea bargain while the DA is laughing his *** off. :)

hawk

Re:Frame job?

[Mr_Plattz]

Valid point, but someone who logs into Facebook and doesn't log off -- doesn't use gloves.

Re:Frame job?

[Twisted64]

He may just have had a good sense of humour. If the police found him, and he wanted to confess, why not have a little fun with it?

Re:Frame job?

[TheLink]

IANAL but I'd suggest the "insanity" plea. Or maybe "mental incompetence".

Re:Frame job?

[TheLink]

Seems to me a lot of these particular type of criminals can and should be rehabilitated.

Jailing them is like jailing a dumb dog that broke your stuff because he didn't know of a more acceptable way to get his "dog treats".

Re:Frame job?

[clone53421]

You're correct, I misread the comment. I assumed the cop was going approximately the same speed and that's how he knew how fast it was, but I suppose he could have just as easily clocked the guy with his radar as he passed.

It just pisses me off when cops go speeding down the road as if they can do whatever they want. They're supposed to follow the same rules as everyone else when they're not on an emergency call.

Re:Frame job?

[Anonymous Coward]

I brushed my *hair*. Not I brushed my hairs.
I brushed my *teeth*. Hmm.

Anyway, I've never heard anyone say hairbrush. Just brush.

Re:Frame job?

[dotgain]

It just pisses me off when cops go speeding down the road as if they can do whatever they want.

Clearly. Oh well, if it's any consolation, I speed, run reds, generally do whatever I want (within sensible reason, anyway), and I'm not a cop, so they're not actually getting away with any sort of 'special treatment' anyway.

Re:Frame job?

[Anonymous Coward]

Not sure if this actually happened, but it likely did.

A guy runs into an auto parts store, grabs a battery and runs across the street to put it in his car. The clerk says to his manager, "Aren't you going to call the cops on that guy?" The manager says , Plenty of time -- he's not going anywhere -- he stole the plastic demo battery."

Re:Frame job?

[Anonymous Coward]

Similar true story:

A few years back, around 3 am, some drunk lost it and crashed his truck, with shell, into the flats where my daughter lived. He also totaled her Explorer which, uncharacteristically, had been left out overnight.

The clown backed out and took off. A neighbor just arriving home chased him until the cops moved in.

Back at home, my son-in-law found the side window that had popped out of the shell on impact. Taped to the window was a For Sale sign with the bozo's phone number.

Jonathan Parker

[Phoenixlol]

is postin this from this house im robin... WAD UP JAY!!1 WANNA CHILL TONIHGT/

stupidity

[sopssa]

Always when I think I've seen the most stupidity ever, there comes a next sucker and tops it.

Next on news, casino robbers twitter about the process using @heist tag while executing their plan.

Re:stupidity

[Anonymous Coward]

lol, I just sit back and wait for that next fool.

Re:stupidity

[Beardo the Bearded]

At a previous job, we fired a cleaning crew because they logged into our computers to check their email while we were out.

We called to tell them why they weren't getting paid or allowed to come back, and the boss said, "they might have pressed some buttons when they were dusting."

We said, "the login we have here is 'john.smith123@hotmail.com'; the odds of that being pressed sequentially are 2.7^15 to 1 against."

Re:stupidity

[Darinbob]

Generally, most criminals do not rise to the top of the intelligence pool. Maybe some people are still surprised that criminals do stupid things, but I'd be surprised if they didn't.

Re:stupidity

[JustOK]

Sweet place you work at, where anyone can come along and log into your computers and get online.

Re:stupidity

[omeomi]

At a previous job, we fired a cleaning crew because they logged into our computers to check their email while we were out.

We called to tell them why they weren't getting paid or allowed to come back, and the boss said, "they might have pressed some buttons when they were dusting."

We said, "the login we have here is 'john.smith123@hotmail.com'; the odds of that being pressed sequentially are 2.7^15 to 1 against."

Why didn't you just lock your screen when you left for the day?

Re:stupidity

[Anonymous Coward]

You fired them for checking their email? Thank god they didn't make a phone call or you guys would have had to send the hit squad.

Re:stupidity

[Anonymous Coward]

You can't just not pay someone. The random sequence of characters could have been pressed, and it would have made more sense to pay them for the work they completed and never hire them again.

Password protect your computers. Come on. When I see a computer with no password I ASSUME it's a public machine.

Re:stupidity

[andymadigan]

Their contract likely said they were not permitted to touch the machines or any other work-related materials. Thus, they broke the contract and would not be paid.

Re:stupidity

[statusbar]

You leave your computers on and logged in without any screen saver password?

Re:stupidity

[Beardo the Bearded]

Haven't you ever run a test run overnight? For a month? We would often do that when testing the longevity of a battery for extended deployment. You can hook some kinds of multimeter up to a serial port and watch the electrical parameters over time.

To be totally fair, I don't work there anymore and the company's bankrupt.

Re:stupidity

[smoker2]

Yeah I run a web server off my browsing machine. But I lock the screen when I go out.

Re:stupidity

[Anonymous Coward]

Lock your computer when you're not using it. You're just as much at fault for leaving the system insecure. Also don't give login information to your cleaning crew. Seriously, this should be common sense.

Re:stupidity

[gandhi_2]

are 2.7^15 to 1 against

Coincidentally, 2 954 312.71 is the phone number of the Islington Flat where a cleaning crew supervisor learned that he had lost a contract.

Re:stupidity

[yurtinus]

Clearly the cleaning crew were illegal immigrants. I mean, who are they gonna complain to?

Re:stupidity

[Anonymous Coward]

I'd further that by saying most criminals who are caught (and yes, this is most of them) do not rise to the top of the intelligence pool. Who knows how many ultra-smart uncaught criminals are still out there though...

Re:stupidity

[da5idnetlimit.com]

In one of our offices, failure to lock your screen means you'll send an email proposing your sexual favours to a bunch of same sex colleagues for a modicum of money.

Second offender in the same day makes the same offer, but to both sexes, and for a lower amount.

This taught basic security to all newcomers.

It is lucky that :
- Most of us got caught, and pass on the joke
- we all have a sense of humor
- we are not in the US 8p

Re:stupidity

[thetoadwarrior]

The ass who didn't lock their computer is the one that should be sacked.

Re:stupidity

[omnichad]

You mean #heist, don't you? Somehow I don't think this guy cares about the robbery.

Re:stupidity

[MichaelSmith]

are 2.7^15 to 1 against

Coincidentally, 2 954 312.71 is the phone number of the Islington Flat where a cleaning crew supervisor learned that he had lost a contract.

He probably thought it was infinitely improbable they would get caught.

Re:stupidity

[Anonymous Coward]

the tag would be "#heist"

Re:stupidity

[easyTree]

Yah but to be fair, was there any actual evidence that a robbery took place? For all we know, the woman was messing around with a younger guy then decided to make a profit whilst breaking-up with him... Noone's foolish enough to leave their name at the scene of a robbery, surely?

PS. Using facebook isn't a crime....yet.

Re:stupidity

[cymen]

Here in the US the email offers to buy free beers at a local bar after work.

Re:stupidity

[MaskedSlacker]

I want to work where you do.

Re:stupidity

[MaskedSlacker]

How about -1 uncomfortably true?

Re:stupidity

[Anonymous Coward]

8 pence? What does that have to do with not being in the US?

Re:stupidity

[Anonymous Coward]

1. Checking your email or doing anything online is a security risk to the computer you do it from. Particularly when you consider that people who care this little about security probably click on every available link and attachment.

2. If the machines were left running overnight, they could have been running any number of critical time-consuming jobs, none of which might react well to having to share their system with a web-browser (not to mention if it crashes).

3. Accessing a computer without authorization can actuallly be illegal.

All in all, they got off rather easy.

Re:stupidity

[Arancaytar]

Noone's foolish enough to leave their name at the scene of a robbery, surely?

Seriously?

Your faith in the intelligence of humanity, particularly the segment of it that steals, is astounding. Look up the story of the bank robber who wrote his threatening note on the back of his account statement, or the (I think) convenience store robber who left his wallet on the counter.

People are stupid enough. :P

Re:stupidity

[iamacat]

This has nothing to do with getting caught. Smart people without scruples realize that you can make more money running a dicey but technically legal hedge fund that robbing a bank. Nothing portable that you could steal would be worth a billion bucks and items on top of the scale - art pieces, nuclear material, etc - would be risky to sell and result in huge law enforcement resources dedicated to solving the crime.

Re:stupidity

[couchslug]

That was the custom in many USAF shops where I worked. Endless computer security briefings don't make near the impact of romantic odes to ones entire section (if you were lucky) and sometimes senior leadership.

Re:stupidity

[Anonymous Coward]

cos he's a fucking tool, that's why

Re:stupidity

[Anonymous Coward]

i totally agree. the bad part about locking the screen when walking away to take a leak, my genius cohorts like to make fun of me because i lock my shit. i am not falling for that peer pressure. i am a pussy, but not that much of a pussy.

Re:stupidity

[jonadab]

> most criminals who are
> caught (and yes, this is
> most of them)

Just about all of them get caught at some point, because each time they *don't* get caught their mind subconsciously revises downward its estimate of the chances of getting caught and the need for caution. So naturally the longer they go without getting caught the more careless they become.

An intelligent criminal who is *aware* of this phenomenon can consciously resist it for a while, but eventually he'll start thinking he's *good* at being careful, and then he'll get cocky and careless. It's just human nature.

The only really reliable way to avoid getting caught is to never get started in the first place.

Re:stupidity

[bertoelcon]

We did that in the labs in high school, failure to lock/logout resulted in (read-only flagged) penis files on the desktop, and we screenshot it and set it as background to make it harder to remove.

It was immature but kinda fun when you work as TA during a class that has lunch in the middle of class.

Re:stupidity

[ImYourVirus]

Guess they shouldn't have been stupid with their business practices and now they wouldn't be where they are. Last I checked you could 'own' someone for not paying you for work you did.

Re:stupidity

[mpe]

In one of our offices, failure to lock your screen means you'll send an email proposing your sexual favours to a bunch of same sex colleagues for a modicum of money.

Or presumably opposite sex ones if they are known to be gay.

Second offender in the same day makes the same offer, but to both sexes, and for a lower amount.

What happens if they actually are a cheap bisexual?

Re:stupidity

[Atario]

Haven't you learned anything from Slashdot? Physical access is total access. Cleaning crew could just pull out their hacker-ninja 1337 skillz and be back on the net in minutes.

Re:stupidity

[Atario]

We got this treatment in my University. The kindest version inserted a self-deleting script in your startup script, warning you on login that you have just deleted all your files, downloaded kiddy porn, and emailed your professors that you hate their guts. Oh, and, ha ha, only joking, now lock your damned screen when you leave the machine.

I didn't even have to have it happen to me; just hearing about it through the grapevine was enough to scare me straight forever.

Re:stupidity

[rts008]

Physical access trumps all security!!!
I am the cleaning crew....at night, while all of you[security/IT] are home in bed. I have GNU/Linux Live cd's, a bootable thumbdrive with GNU/Linux, a screwdriver/toolkit...and all night!
Be very afraid!!!
(only half-joking)

Re:stupidity

[rts008]

Well said, sir!
No amount of technology and security can protect anything from stupid users....It's well documented throughout history, in any context.

Any tech, protocol,rules, and regulations work great...until you introduce humans into the equation. Fact.

Re:stupidity

[Dan541]

With all the modern drugs around, there's a new deadhead dipshit being produced every minute.

Don't expect this trend to dry up any time soon, at least now we know who's taken our Plasma screens.

Re:stupidity

[Dan541]

I'm thinking an aluminium keyboard (do they exist) and I bit of electrical wiring may help turn the joke around.

Re:stupidity

[Dan541]

I used to screen shot the desktop, set it as wallpaper then drag all the icons off screen.

Re:stupidity

[Dan541]

I take my laptop home with me, now what?

Re:stupidity

[Dan541]

Noone's foolish enough to leave their name at the scene of a robbery, surely?

A criminal would be.

Honestly, there is a reason these people can't make an honest living.

Re:stupidity

[Dan541]

> most criminals who are
> caught (and yes, this is
> most of them)

Just about all of them get caught at some point, because each time they *don't* get caught their mind subconsciously revises downward its estimate of the chances of getting caught and the need for caution. So naturally the longer they go without getting caught the more careless they become.

An intelligent criminal who is *aware* of this phenomenon can consciously resist it for a while, but eventually he'll start thinking he's *good* at being careful, and then he'll get cocky and careless. It's just human nature.

It's not so much carelessness as it is chance. The more lottery tickets you buy the more likely you are to win.

Re:stupidity

[rts008]

So I don't have physical access.
So, now what, what?

What is your point? We were talking about the cleaning crew having physical access, you redundant troll.

Re:stupidity

[w0mprat]

Here in NZ the boss mandated anyone caught leaving their screen unlocked must buy beers at the local after work.

Re:stupidity

[easyTree]

Would that reason be that the smart ones have organised the world such that the stupid ones can't exist within the rules set by the smart ones?

Re:stupidity

[oqaqiq]

That's true, the majority of criminals who are caught are unintelligent and/or uneducated. It's been a while since the writing on the bank doors that warns that the employees do not have access to cash money is seconded by a huge, obvious, easy-to-decipher picture of cash money that is barred. The reason of this big picture is that studies have shown that a significant part of the robbers can't read, thus making the old warnings in letters totally useless for these folks. So this picture is supposed to reduce the rate of robbery.

Re:stupidity

[tyldis]

Sounds familiar. The cleaning crew of a supplier specielizing in cooling systems also did this. Loggin in to MSN and the like. The only problem was that the computer they used once had an open remote desktop session to a computer controlling the cooling in a large storage hall for fish. It was supposed to be 'secure'.
As the conversations on MSN was in Bulgarian and the companies invovled were Norwegian, it didn't take too much effort in locating the source (I just called everyone with access to the said computer and asked them to name all Bulgarian employees, and only one name came up...).

Re:stupidity

[Dan541]

Yes.

Re:stupidity

[Dan541]

So what exactly are you going to do with those CDs, id say they are pretty useless at this point.

Re:stupidity

[omeomi]

Haven't you learned anything from Slashdot? Physical access is total access. Cleaning crew could just pull out their hacker-ninja 1337 skillz and be back on the net in minutes.

And hacking into a computer is a good reason to fire somebody. Checking their email on an unlocked workstation, however, is a good reason to lock your screen.

Re:stupidity

[mi]

Generally, most criminals do not rise to the top of the intelligence pool.

Only in a relatively free country with half-decent economy — such as where we both live.

Nigerian scammers, for example, on the other hand, are not stupid at all — they just have fewer opportunities to use their brains honestly. Not that it is any excuse for them, of course...

Re:stupidity

[xelah]

Unless US law is very different to English law, having one party to a contract break it doesn't mean the other is automatically allowed to break it in any way they please in response. They might be if it's the right kind of breach, or the contract might say what they can do explicitly, but this doesn't sound to me to be likely to be that kind of breach.

You'd have to be a complete idiot of a cleaning company to sue, though, so I doubt anyone cared.

Re:stupidity

[oddtom]

Yep, the crème de la crème, without a doubt: http://funmeme.com/?tag=/nigerian+scammers

Re:stupidity

[easyTree]

Well done mods, let's support the polite racists amongst us; let noone say "hush" to them for fear of unfavourable moderation!

Re:stupidity

[Atario]

*Sigh*. Guess I didn't make my post over-the-top enough to trigger the "he's joking" circuit.

Re:stupidity

[DerWulf]

not most. 50% if the police have a very very good day.

Re:stupidity

[andymadigan]

The contract would have said "you will be paid X for Y" and Y would have included "not touching the computers". Thus they don't get paid X if they don't do Y.

Re:stupidity

[Anonymous Coward]

We used to do the same trick, one time it went bad. The dude writing the dirty email failed to notice that a VNC session was connected to the unlocked screen.. that particular session was being projected on the big screen in the board meeting upstairs.

Re:stupidity

[yurtinus]

They might have been looking for "+1 Woosh" and just didn't see it way down the list -- after all I had tried to mod mine "-1 Stupid Sarcastic Bastard" but the damn thing won't let me mod my own post!

Re:stupidity

[easyTree]

Woa; my irony detector has been broken for days and I haven't even noticed. Thanks for the heads-up...

Re:stupidity

[hrimhari]

What does the login odds have to do with an unlocked machine running an overnight test then?

Re:stupidity

[Anonymous Coward]

set autocorrect in word to change words like "is" to "be" and the users name to be "cap'n [name]" and generally just sound like a pirate. They sent 3 emails to clients before realising. We all laughed

Re:stupidity

[Capt.DrumkenBum]

Damn, I thought I invented this idea.
Previous job, any time I saw an unlocked company computer, I would open email and write an "I quit" email to the boss. Then leave it on the screen and lock the computer. Just in case it somehow got sent, I ended every email with "I really should lock my computer when I walk away."

Did he update his status?

[Toe, The]

I can just imagine it...

Status: Robbing a house at 319 Elm St. ROTFL!

Re:Did he update his status?

[amicusNYCL]

I don't have a facebook account, so excuse my ignorance, but every time I read something like this I get confused:

Parker not only stopped mid-robbery to check his Facebook status

Shouldn't he know what his status is? I mean, he was the last one to change his status, right? Does facebook go around changing your status, and it's a game to log in and see what it got changed to?

Re:Did he update his status?

[Jurily]

Too bad the cops didn't shoot him. This would've made a great Darwin award.

Re:Did he update his status?

[clone53421]

Yes. You're correct. They should have said he was checking his friends' statuses and/or checking for comments.

Re:Did he update his status?

[Anonymous Coward]

Bzzzt. Thanks for playing. If you actually followed the Darwin Awards you'd know that shootings are way too common as are pretty much any injuries sustained while running from the cops.

Re:Did he update his status?

[NotBornYesterday]

If his sentence removes him from the dating pool long enough, he may end up a virtual Darwin winner.

Re:Did he update his status?

[camperdave]

I don't have an account
either, but it might be like
checking Slashdot to see
if anyone replied to your
comments.

...or if they've fixed the idle
comment entry field yet.

Re:Did he update his status?

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't have an account

either, but it might be like

checking Slashdot to see

if anyone replied to your

comments. ...or if they've fixed the idle

comment entry field yet.

That was like the worst poem ever.

Re:Did he update his status?

[zapakh]

I don't have a facebook account, so excuse my ignorance, but every time I read something like this I get confused:

Parker not only stopped mid-robbery to check his Facebook status

Shouldn't he know what his status is? I mean, he was the last one to change his status, right? Does facebook go around changing your status, and it's a game to log in and see what it got changed to?

Agreed. I misread it as "stopped mid-robbery to update his Facebook status". Hence, GP said what I was thinking!

Re:Did he update his status?

[mrdoogee]

Burmashave!

Re:Did he update his status?

[Anonymous Coward]

If he goes to big boy jail he'll be in a whole nother dating pool!

Re:Did he update his status?

[Anonymous Coward]

That was like the worst poem ever.

The line breaks were wrong. Shoudda been:

I don't have an account either,
but it might be like checking Slashdot to see if
anyone replied to your comment.
or if they've fixed the comment entry field yet.

Re:Did he update his status?

[clone53421]

I don't have an account

either, but it might be like

checking Slashdot to see

if anyone replied to your

comments. ...or if they've fixed the idle

comment entry field yet.

That was like the worst poem ever.

Burma-Shave.

Re:Did he update his status?

[Anonymous Coward]

Then later:

BRB, Jail.

Re:Did he update his status?

[operagost]

Old-school LOL

Re:Did he update his status?

[drodal]

lol I get it cuz I is old!

Re:Did he update his status?

[Asklepius M.D.]

Too many crypto books lately....I read that as ROTate FLorida!

Re:Did he update his status?

[Anonymous Coward]

No one is that old son, ppl get jokes like that because they read.

Re:Did he update his status?

[camperdave]

That wasn't a poem. That is the size of the entry field.

Re:Did he update his status?

[CdBee]

Facebook could REALLY improve their traffic levels if every 24 hours they autochanged statuses to "is sucking a cock" unless the user logged in before the time-out......

Re:Did he update his status?

[aztracker1]

Well, that would take care of homophobic men and anyone without a sense of humor.

Re:Did he update his status?

[dekemoose]

Oh christ, my kingdom for some mod points. If I'd been drinking coffee it'd be on my keyboard right now.

Re:Did he update his status?

[Anonymous Coward]

That was like the worst poem ever.

My ears I want to sever

Re:Did he update his status?

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, that would take care of homophobic men and anyone without a sense of humor.

What about the heterophobic women with a sense of humor?

Venn Fai

Re:Did he update his status?

[Anonymous Coward]

Oh God I live on Elm street... what a NIGHTMARE /seriously, I do //grew up two blocks away from current house, same street ///pardon the pun, it was mandatory

Re:Did he update his status?

[mcpkaaos]

No more rhymes now, I mean it!

Re:Did he update his status?

[Anonymous Coward]

My rhyming is so clever,

Re:Did he update his status?

[Ironica]

Because clearly, Facebook needs MORE traffic. After all, it works normally probably 18 out of every 24 hours for most users.

Re:Did he update his status?

[Anonymous Coward]

Your mom wouldn't have to log in as often.

Re:Did he update his status?

[Ironica]

camperdave submits his /. posts from an IBM Selectric.

Re:Did he update his status?

[Anonymous Coward]

According to some of my female Myspacier college friends, it's always done that. ... wait, what? It doesn't?
Ohhhh.

Re:Did he update his status?

[MichaelSmith]

Facebook could REALLY improve their traffic levels if every 24 hours they autochanged statuses to "is sucking a cock" unless the user logged in before the time-out......

That would seem reasonable to Mark Zuckerberg because the people closest to him seem to be doing exactly that a lot of the time.

Re:Did he update his status?

[MichaelSmith]

My sister is a facebook nut and I could totally believe she would do this. (I mean rob a house and check FB while doing it).

Re:Did he update his status?

[mdwh2]

As a workaround, note that you can delete the "idle." in the URL when replying, and it takes you to the same page but without the abysmal idle formatting.

Re:Did he update his status?

[easyTree]

Which browser were you using? It's ok for me and I'm using OPERA. If they've bothered to test it in opera it should work for you too.

--
camping tip back at j00: crouching in a bush, holding a silenced machine pistol, next to a spawn point makes for a high kill:death ratio.

Re:Did he update his status?

[AmberBlackCat]

I think that would get tuned out on Facebook since it would show up so often, and that phrase would be the new American slang for being idle.

Re:Did he update his status?

[Anonymous Coward]

That's good, she wouldn't really have much time to do so anyway.

Re:Did he update his status?

[DavidTC]

I think people would start setting that as their status.

Seriously. Within a day.

Re:Did he update his status?

[Arancaytar]

<alice> Bob?
<alice> Hey Bob!
<bob> Oh, hey
<bob> Sorry, was sucking a cock
<bob> Oh, I mean, I was afk
<alice> ...
<bob> The keys are right next to each other!

Re:Did he update his status?

[Arancaytar]

ROTate FLorida

Then it'd point up towards the Northeast, and look even more phallic. The Boner or America!

Probably not a great idea.

Re:Did he update his status?

[miro f]

anybody want a peanut?

Re:Did he update his status?

[Anonymous Coward]

There aren't any.

Re:Did he update his status?

[Kidbro]

Good thing it linewraps then, otherwise you'd have to hit return all the time ;)
Also, at least here the field extends to the width of the table cell (minus margins) of the comment you're replying to. Thats at least some 200 characters on my screen. This paragraph hasn't reached the end of the line yet. I think the "problem" (if it can be called that) is with your browser/screen/window size. In any case, depending a bit on what browser you're using, there are probably addons to let you launch external text editors :)

Re:Did he update his status?

[Anonymous Coward]

Neither would dad.

Re:Did he update his status?

[Radical Emu]

I had one earlier, have you seen it?

Facebook Status:

[Codex_of_Wisdom]

JOHN PARKER is robbing a house :)
updated 2:57 PM today

Re:Facebook Status:

[Anonymous Coward]

JOHN PARKER is robbing a house :)

updated 2:57 PM today

Jane Q. Victim doesn't like this.

Deputy P.D. Ware likes this!

Re:Facebook Status:

[clone53421]

Facebook doesn't have a "doesn't like" feature. (Yet?)

Re:Facebook Status:

[rcamans]

No, actually, I am pretty sure that John Parker shot John Bigbooty in a mid-air explosion of an interspacial craft of some sort, and then returned to his home planet. Anyways, doesn't he have diplomatic immunity, so they can't touch him if he did do it?

Re:Facebook Status:

[johncadengo]

Why wouldn't you like something?

On facebook everyone likes you!

Password

[jeffshoaf]

I'll bet his password is "Duh!".

Facebook addiction

[TrippTDF]

I know what that is like.. I actually made my wife change my password for me, and she logs me in a couple times a week so i can check messages.

I don't think anyone predicted that the internet would give us infinite narcissism.

Re:Facebook addiction

[RotateLeftByte]

If you were really determined to kick your addiction you would have deleted your account completely.
you know, 'going cold turkey'

Re:Facebook addiction

[mrdoogee]

Good for you, I guess... but that's kinda like letting your wife shoot you up instead of tying yourself off and doing it yourself. You're still addicted, you just have someone else controlling your supply.

No facebook acct for me.

Re:Facebook addiction

[TrippTDF]

I still would like to use the service- it's not like cocaine where there is no benefit. This way I'm not tempted to keep a tab open when I'm at work, but I still have access if I need it.

Re:Facebook addiction

[cabjf]

Or it's kind of like portioning out your meals and only eating every few hours or so. Or are we all just addicted to food? Or maybe it's like a parent limiting a teenager's phone time (you know, back before cell phones). It's still a useful tool, but he recognized that it was too easy for him to abuse it.

Criminals are stupid, film at 11?

[girlintraining]

But don't feel bad, they aren't the only ones. I saved a certain major political party from disaster at a state fair this year. They'd left IE's autocomplete enabled on all the computers, which were helpfully offering the contact information of everyone who signed up for their newsletter or petition.

Whups! But really, it takes a person of unusually low intelligence to stop in the middle of robbing someone else's house to use their computer. Don't kids these days watch CSI? Or whatever the latest crime flick is?

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11?

[clone53421]

Stupid criminals leave their Facebook accounts logged in on your computer. Smart ones steal all the passwords that are stored in your browser.

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11?

[ckaminski]

Smart ones take the FUCKING COMPUTER!

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11?

[VeNoM0619]

No. $200-$2000 computer is nowhere near credit card/banking account access for life (at least 5 years?). Granted, one is more risky.

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11?

[clone53421]

Perhaps. Perhaps not. Maybe he was on foot. Maybe it wasn't a laptop. A couple of diamond rings are much easier to carry (and conceal for that matter).

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11?

[smallpoxfart]

Smart ones take the FUCKING COMPUTER!

it must've been an e-machines or an apple, that's why he left it!

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11?

[Monkeedude1212]

No matter how much potentially useful information is stored on my computer, no crook would think taking a TS-8100 is worth its weight.

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11?

[networkBoy]

I'd take the TV remotes and the hard disks.
Leave everything else untouched...

Burglary to fsck with people sounds more fun than anything else...
-nB

as a victim of a burglary recently I must note that I would kill me if I ever caught me doing said things. Also, that the first thing I thought when I saw the door busted was *please god not the server*.

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11?

[Anonymous Coward]

Smart ones just push all your data to the cloud and dispense with the local storage altogether.

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11?

[omnichad]

I'm sure you must hate Apple, but they keep their resale value long after they should. Just try doing a search on eBay for G3 Tangerine iBook (how OLD are those, again???).

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11?

[selven]

Smart victims use screen lock.

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11?

[Mr_Plattz]

Smart ones take the FUCKING COMPUTER!

No, smart ones leave the computer and steal the passwords. This then puts the endavour on the recipient of the burglary to be open enough to still change there passwords. I think even mums and dads are smart enough to change netbanking passwords if there Laptop is stolen.

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11?

[hemlock00]

No, no. Dude...it was a dell >.

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11?

[clone53421]

Apparently this victim wasn't that smart.

re:stupidity:+1

[Anonymous Coward]

"but left it logged in to his account when he left."

Dumbass, definetely.

Left the Computer?

[ViViDboarder]

So the burglar just left the computer there? You'd think if you were robbing the place you'd just take it with you...

I'm calling shenanigans! Frame-Job!! :P

Re:Left the Computer?

[Anonymous Coward]

So the burglar just left the computer there? You'd think if you were robbing the place you'd just take it with you...

He thought about it, but it was running Windows. He may be dumb, but not stupid.

Re:Left the Computer?

[Anonymous Coward]

/eyeroll

Re:Left the Computer?

[east coast]

3500 dollars worth of goods you can slip into your pocket versus 350 dollars worth of something that you have to carry openly down the street... that has a serial number.

You do the math.

Re:Left the Computer?

[ViViDboarder]

What kind of crappy computer was this!?! :P

Re:Left the Computer?

[Rick17JJ]

I am also troubled by the fact, that he did not steal the computer. But perhaps, he might have had a potential problem of carrying a large computer past the neighbors without being noticed..

I also wonder if the computer had an expensive flat screen monitor or just a large heavy old CRT monitor instead, or what. If he passed up the chance to steal an expensive, easy to carry 20-inch flat screen monitor, that would seem odd. But leaving behind a large heavy old CRT monitor, would not be surprising, at all.

I would also like to know if this was a semi-obsolete computer, or not. Perhaps, he was testing the computer to see if it was too slow to be worth stealing.

I have heard of burglars who have connections for only getting rid of certain types of items, but not other types of items. Perhaps, he did not know how to get rid of a stolen computer, or the computer parts, for a worthwhile amount of money.

There is also the testimony of the friend, who said that "Parker asked him if he wanted to help break into the victim's home." Of course, that is assuming the friend was not the hypothetical person who was trying to frame him.

By the way, back in the early 1970s, a burglar broke through the window of the master bedroom, of my parents home, but did not steal anything.. Mom was not much into fancy jewelry and our 13-inch black and white TV, probably was not worth stealing. With dad being a high paid executive, it was surprising at our lack of small, valuable items, worth stealing.

Re:Left the Computer?

[Rick17JJ]

Here is one other thoughtI had.

I have sometimes thought about putting a fake label on my computer, that would suggest to computers that this is an obsolete computer, not worth stealing. I would like to get a sticker that says something like "386 SX with Windows ME inside." I could use that instead of the "Linux inside" nameplate, which my computer currently has.

With my computer's heavy steel case, lifting my computer is about like lifting a bag of cement. But perhaps I should make it even heavier and harder to steal, buy having a few hundred pounds of very thick steel plates welded onto the inside and/or outside of the case.

Re:Left the Computer?

[Arancaytar]

A new home computer sells for roughly $800 here - used, it's worth less than half that before the year is out, because the tech becomes obsolete so fast. Factor in the stolen-goods, no-questions-asked discount, and a thief would have a hard time getting more than $100 for it.

Re:Left the Computer?

[Inthewire]

How much is crack? Heroin? If it can be sold for 10-40 dollars, someone will steal it. I've seen thousands of dollars worth of window glass, framing, and patio furniture destroyed so a purse could be stolen.

Freddy Crugar's house?

[Anonymous Coward]

well he wasn't too smart then eh?

Further evidence...

[idontgno]

that criminals aren't criminals because they're too smart to hold down a regular job.

Re:Further evidence...

[riffzifnab]

No, the smart criminals just become elected officials or run companies (sad part is I'm only half joking).

Re:Further evidence...

[Anonymous Coward]

Unless they are smart enough to be a good enough of a criminal to not need to hold down a job. I don't think that is the sort we are talking about here.

But come on, Thomas Crown could probably do your job, and your sex life would be more interesting too.

Re:Further evidence...

[Anonymous Coward]

We call them Congress.

Status

[Manos_Of_Fate]

I can only assume he was stopping to set his status to "is about to get arrested for burglary".

Re:Status

[Anonymous Coward]

Probably just wanted to check his Mafia Wars to see if there were any jobs he needed to do.

Re:blame the parents!!!

[Dare nMc]

Perhaps he just has ADD, had his mother got him prescribed the proper drugs he would have been able to access all her accounts, stolen her identity and gotten home, but NO it is all her fault that he couldn't hold his concentration on just doing no good for long enough to do a proper job of robbery.

Mafia Wars?

[stonefry]

Perhaps he needed to make sure his mafia wars character was doing ok. Maybe he needed to rob some mega casinos or something.

Re:Mafia Wars?

[John Meacham]

People use those games to escape their normal life. Clearly as a criminal, he would have escaped to the bucolic world of FarmVille(tm). He couldn't just let his crop of super berries rot could he?

Re:Mafia Wars?

[Bert64]

Perhaps he needed to change his status to "robbing a house"...

Re:Mafia Wars?

[Curtman]

Yay Farmville.. Original Sim City with vegetables, and without the excitement.

Worse than my ex...

[Anonymous Coward]

And I thought my ex that was cheating on me and left her last email up on the screen when she went to bed was about as dumb as you get... With a print out in my hand she still denied it... Maybe we should hook the two of them up together...

What I want to know is ...

[Gravitron 5000]

if was robbing the place, why didn't he take the damn computer?

Re:What I want to know is ...

[pluther]

Probably a tower case.

Most burglars are no professionals. They are just looking for easily-grabbed items that they can fit into their pockets. Any cash laying around, jewelry, mp3 players or other electronic devices, stuff like that. Carrying a computer down the street would be too obvious.

Likewise, people like this are usually crimes of opportunity. Little to no planning would have been involved - this guy is obviously no professional.

Re:What I want to know is ...

[Ingcuervo]

of course he is not a professional, social networking on working hours????

Re:What I want to know is ...

[east coast]

Pound for pound, PCs probably have a very low return. Not to mention a serial number.

Grandma's silver set and cash are a lot easier to deal with and weigh a lot less.

Re:What I want to know is ...

[clone53421]

It's actually sorta in the middle, between "backslash" and "shift". Pounding on the "return" probably isn't a good idea, though, cause you might break the keyboard.

Re:What I want to know is ...

[ajlisows]

TYPICALLY a burglar will be looking for small, higher dollar items that they can stash in their pockets so they can get out in a hurry. Seeing as how this guy decided he had enough time to sit down and chill on his victim's computer, I don't think we can assume any common sense. He was probably trying to single handedly rob the king size bed and refrigerator.

Re:What I want to know is ...

[Jedi Alec]

Likewise, people like this are usually crimes of opportunity.

You see son, when a mommy really dislikes a daddy, but they happen to be in a dark alleyway and daddy happens to have a blunt weapon on him...

Or some enemy of his'

[Anonymous Coward]

Facebook account. Unless they had other proof than that I don't buy it. Did they find the rings on him? his prints in the house? hair? boot print? anything but the facebook thing and a "friend" who fingered him out as the guy?

-Skeptical Pete

On a semi-related note

[Critical Facilities]

Jonathan G. Parker, 19, of Fort Loudoun, Pa., was arraigned Tuesday one count of felony daytime burglary.

IANAL, but can someone tell my what the difference is between felony burglary and felony daylight burglary? Are the charges somehow more/less severe based on the time of day or night?

Just curious.

Re:On a semi-related note

[Anonymous Coward]

Some states distinguish (for sentencing purposes) whether the burglary was committed at nighttime, or during the day. Nighttime burglary is generally punished more severely than daytime.

Other common distinctions are whether the burglary was of a residence or a commercial building.

It has evolved state to state from English common law.

Re:On a semi-related note

[zoward]

Burglary charges tend to be more severe when they involve a night-time break-in since it's more likely that the homeowners are going to be at home (possibly asleep) then.

Re:On a semi-related note

[hawk]

[Huh? what a little comment box!]

Burglary was defined at Common Law to be a forced entry into the dwelling of another at night with the intent of committing a felony.

Modern statutory versions have dropped many of the requirements, such as being a dwelling, or at night, and some have probably even dropped the felonious intent requirement.

Under the classic definition, if you only intended to commit a misdemeanor, it wasn't burglary. Note that it's *intent* at the time of entry, not whether or not the crime occurs.

Or if you break in to steal a sandwich, and are inspired to steal the jewels you find in the icebox (a felony), it still isn't burglay.

In many states, the newer statute may label itself as something like "daytime burglary" in order to make it distinguishable.

hawk, esq.

Re:On a semi-related note

[Anonymous Coward]

IANAL But the way it has gone on around here is if you break in to a home at night you do so knowing people are home and that you intended harm and carries a much harsher sentence, daylight burglary can be just a slap on the wrist depending on his history.

Re:On a semi-related note

[clone53421]

Or if you break in to steal a sandwich, and are inspired to steal the jewels you find in the icebox (a felony), it still isn't burglay.

No, but it's a felony... ;)

Re:On a semi-related note

[DarkOx]

IANALBIHHSLCAE (-but I have had some law courses as electives)

Traditionally under Common Law burglary is defined as breaking and entering the home of another at night. --or words to that effect

Its generally a more severe crime than breaking and entering a commercial building for example at night or into a home in the day time is not considered as harmful. The reasons usually given are people are less likely to be there or at least less likely to be surprised so there is less chance of an altercation where someone may be injured , or society would negatively impacted if people were afraid to sleep in their own homes.

Illicit night time entries into residences are therefore punished more severely than breaking and entering in general and therefore there is a separate law for the other cases.

Re:On a semi-related note

[mpe]

Other common distinctions are whether the burglary was of a residence or a commercial building.

Also if the burglary is carrying a weapon or something they could easily use as a weapon.

FACEPALM

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm originally from the area. General stupidity among the populace is one of the main reasons I left.

Washington, DC is no better. (sigh)

That's not all...

[fahrbot-bot]

Twitter: I'm robbing house...

A newer spin...

[mevets]

Why is there no CSI Hillsboro? There are no dental records and everybody has the same DNA.....

superpoke

[Anonymous Coward]

takes on an entirely different meaning in prison

There will be no jail time

[Envy Life]

Don't kid yourself by assuming burglars go to jail. I've had people caught in felony robbery of my house, later identified and booked by police, admitted to the crime, and didn't serve 1 minute in a cell. Maybe those involved with prior convictions spent a couple weeks in jail, but really, it hardly a disincentive.

Re:There will be no jail time

[Anonymous Coward]

if they were arrested and booked then they were credited with at least two days incarceration. That plus being processed at sentencing would make his "time served" enough for a 7 day sentence.

7 day sentence - 1/3 for "good behaviour" + credit for arrest and release day + credit for processing intake and release at sentencing.

Just being handcuffed by the cops = credit for 2 days incarnation.

Guy is a real brain trust...

[damn_registrars]

FTA:

Jonathan G. Parker, 19, of Fort Loudoun, Pa., was arraigned Tuesday one count of felony daytime burglary.

During the investigation, a friend of the victim told her that he knew where Parker was staying, in the same area as the victim's house.

Police then went to the home and spoke with a friend of Parker's.

The man said Parker had stopped by his home occasionally, but he said the man didn't live there.

He also said that the night before the burglary, Parker asked him if he wanted to help break into the victim's home but he refused.

So apparently the underqualified burglar was staying with a neighbor, asked said neighbor for help, and then proceeded anyways to break into the house that the neighbor refused to help him break into.

Frankly I'm surprised our criminal didn't leave behind his wallet or an autographed self-portrait as well.

Re:Guy is a real brain trust...

[MichaelSmith]

For everybody with an IQ of 130 you need somebody with an IQ of 70...

Re:Guy is a real brain trust...

[Jedi Alec]

30 people with an IQ of 99 won't do the trick?

Predictions

[SuperKendall]

I don't think anyone predicted that the internet would give us infinite narcissism.

For anyone who read Usenet back in the 90's, this was not a prediction - it was a certainty.

Protip for criminals

[Lord Grey]

Habitual Multitaskers Do It Badly.

Dumbass.

Re:Protip for criminals

[Anonymous Coward]

Habitual Multitaskers Do It Badly.

Dumbass.

You call it a "pro tip" but your statement is obviously targeted to the amateur criminal. As such, you need to at least double the length of instruction in order to more fully explain yourself. To whit:

Focus, Dumbass.

Re:Protip for criminals

[Anonymous Coward]

I think it was more like:
PROTIP: Shoot the cyberdemon until it dies

mod parent up!

[catbertscousin]

That, sir, was classic.

Since nobody else has said it.

[slinches]

I hope they throw the Fbook at him.

would be burglar ?

[smoker2]

How is he a "would be burglar" ? If he took goods from the house he is a burglar, no "would be" about it.

Re:would be burglar ?

[EmagGeek]

He was a burglar regardless of whether he actually took anything.

Burglary is entry into a structure with the INTENT of committing a crime. In this case, the intended crime is theft.

what if he had a core i7, ssd and 64gigs of ram

[smallpoxfart]

how bad do you think the robber would feel if he missed out on some good parts?

The SMART ones are..

[Anonymous Coward]

Politicians

He probably...

[SlashDev]

... turned off the monitor thinking he logged off, that would definitely match his stupidity. Although in the old old old old days, turning off the monitor, DOES actually close a session. Maybe he is a baby boomer thief?

Full of LOL

[EkriirkE]

Here's his MySpace:
http://www.myspace.com/parkersworld16

And a choice quote from one of his friends:

...Aubrey wants you to join their mob in Mobsters, a Mafia-style combat game played on MySpace.

Start out as a petty thief and work your way up to become a Mob Don!

Re:Full of LOL

[Anonymous Coward]

Mood: Anxious.

Ya think?

Re:Full of LOL

[Anonymous Coward]

... and he took it literally. :-(

Mobsters will be the new GTA. The excuse for committing a crime.

Re:Full of LOL

[Anonymous Coward]

He must not have had much success as a burglar, he lists his annual income at less than $30,000

I can only..

[SlashDev]

...imagine this guy's facial expression when he realized he forgot to log off, he was probably right around the corner too, or when he logged on when he got home. I'm not sure which is funnier.

tweet dreams

[v1]

This would have been so much more entertaining if he'd logged into twitter to tweet about his burglary-in-progress... I leave it as an exercise for the readers to come up with appropriate tweets below:

Daytime bulgrary?

[SlashDev]

"Jonathan G. Parker, 19, of Fort Loudoun, Pa., was arraigned Tuesday one count of felony daytime burglary." Is there a felony nighttime burglary? How about after nap burglary?

Re:Daytime bulgrary?

[Vegeta99]

Well I can see the difference... daytime? You're just a fuck, but you didn't scare the fuck out of me or wake me up.

Nighttime? I'm probably gonna shit myself when I see someone sitting at my computer on facebook, and then grab my gun. Way worse situation.

Re:Daytime bulgrary?

[EmagGeek]

Some jurisdictions make a distinction between a daytime and nighttime burglary, and between burglary of an occupied and unoccupied dwelling, and between burglary of an occupied or unoccupied business property.

In PA (my state), there is no distinction between daytime and nighttime burglary.

Burglary - 18 Pa. Cons. Stat. 3502
    3502. Burglary.
                (a) Offense defined.--A person is guilty of burglary if he
          enters a building or occupied structure, or separately secured
          or occupied portion thereof, with intent to commit a crime
          therein, unless the premises are at the time open to the public
          or the actor is licensed or privileged to enter.
                (b) Defense.--It is a defense to prosecution for burglary
          that the building or structure was abandoned.
                (c) Grading.--
                        (1) Except as provided in paragraph (2), burglary is a
                felony of the first degree.
                        (2) If the building, structure or portion entered is not
                adapted for overnight accommodation and if no individual is
                present at the time of entry, burglary is a felony of the
                second degree.
 

Re:Daytime bulgrary?

[EmagGeek]

In PA, there is no duty to retreat inside a dwelling if one is authorized to occupy it. There is no need for the burglary to be at night to justify lethal force to stop the threat.

Re:Daytime bulgrary?

[MacJedi]

It sounds a bit silly, but it makes sense when you know that burglary, as traditionally defined by common law, occurs at nighttime by definition. So felony daytime burglary was something that the state legislature specifically created, probably to increase the penalties of breaking and entering during the daytime.

Re:Daytime bulgrary?

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually, yes. From Wikipedia,

In many jurisdictions in the U.S., burglary occurring at night is punished more severely than burglary occurring at other time. In California, for example, nighttime burglary was punished as burglary in the first degree, while daytime burglary was punished as burglary in the second degree. California now distinguishes between entry into a residence and into a commercial building, with the burglary into a residence with heavier punishment.

In states that continue to punish nighttime burglary more severely than daytime burglary and burglary which occurred during twilight, night is traditionally defined as hours between 30 minutes after sunset and 30 minutes before sunrise.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burglary#Nighttime_burglaries

Re:Daytime bulgrary?

[Anonymous Coward]

A friend answered this for me. Daytime means no one is likely to be home, thus less chance of a run-in. Nighttime means you are willing to run into the occupant and are more likely to harm them, thus a worse offence.

There is not enough evidence here

[blind monkey 3]

I would hope there is a lot more evidence against him than what is in the article, getting someone locked up could be as easy as knowing their facebook password and a few appropriate sentences to the police.

Re:There is not enough evidence here

[mysidia]

I would think it's probable cause to get a search warrant, and scour the suspect's belongings for stolen property belonging to the victim..

Stolen property at the thief's house or in a storage locker they rented is the evidence to get.

Re:There is not enough evidence here

[Anonymous Coward]

1. Obtain some facebook login credentials
2. Go rob some stuff
3. ...
4. Profit

It's not addiction the guy is just a retard

[Anonymous Coward]

This isn't addiction this is just pure unadulterated stupidity on the robber's part. Some one show the kid how to play Russian roulette at least then his carbon foot print would become a constant.

What?

[Anonymous Coward]

Why didn't he steal the goddamn computer?

Idiotic priorities

[Anonymous Coward]

Why in the world did he log on to MySpace at the guy's house? He should have just taken the computer and plugged it in back at his own place first if he was going to do that.

Nicely done.

[attemptedgoalie]

Signed John Ya-Ya.

Re:taking over the government?

[randy of the redwood]

When do we start?
I'll take the IRS, you get Congress...
We need some volunteers for the executive branch, and the army.

Wait - Were you kidding, or serious. I couldn't tell.

But I thought...

[EmagGeek]

Parker Lewis Can't Lose?

Oh wait...

Maybe dumb.. certainly smarter criminals.

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm going to confess. In my youth I broke a few laws. Mostly against government or corporations-but none the less. I was never caught. I did a little bit of everything from breaking copyright laws, defrauding companies, to theft of government computers. I actually did quite a bit more than that... but none-the-less. Point is criminals aren't always that dumb. What people need to realize is people aren't criminals- they are breaking unjust laws most of the time or reacting in response to unjust laws. For instance most of the laws I broke in my youth were the direct result of the restriction on my liberty. When the law said I couldn't drive I said "fuck the law". I had skills and couldn't utilize them. It isn't right to deny people certain things and we continue to do it and react in even harsher ways today. We think punishing and restricting people works and it doesn't. Raising the age for drivers license just increases the age at which people will begin having accidents. You still have to learn sometime. Just because some youth aren't capable of making smart decisions doesn't mean you should punish all youth. Yet- that is exactly what we do. Everything from insurance and driving to handing out loans. It isn't right.

Re:Maybe dumb.. certainly smarter criminals.

[Inthewire]

Just because young people make terrible decisions while driving automobiles is a wonderful reason to protect the rest of us from their stupidity. The most lethal commonly available implement in the US is an automobile.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

relevant incident

[alt154]

yeah i remember reading about two kids who were locked in some place who decided to update their facebook stat on their mobile than call the police. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/facebook/6155017/Trapped-girls-updated-Facebook-instead-of-calling-police.html obviously the police who rescued them was facebooking in duty too.

"FaceBooked"

[Anonymous Coward]

Bookem' Dan-o

In Soviet Russia...

[WWWWolf]

Ah, back in the Soviet Union days, the social networking at least made sense and didn't leave any incriminating evidence. Back then, after all, "social networking" was just notes on the kitchen table:

"I've gone to the women's activism group at the collective meeting hall. The supper is in the oven. Long live the Party! -Mother."
"I've gone to the Young Pioneer Palace to meet my friends. Long live the Party! -Son."
"I've gone to the political rally in the city. Long live the Party! -Dad."
"I've stolen everything of value in this house. Long live the Party! -Thief."

See? New technology isn't always better.

I feel your pain, man!

[rts008]

For some reason, my comments are 'normal' here...but only recently on 'idle' comments.
Well, actually this is the first time they appeared normal on /.'s page.

All I can do to help is give you my spec's:
Mozilla/5.0 (X11; U; Linux i686; en-US; rv:1.9.0.14) Gecko/2009090216 Ubuntu/9.04 (jaunty) Firefox/3.0.14.....using NoScript, Adblock Plus, and OldBar extensions.

I still get the narrow comments box, but my posts seem to wrap correctly anyhow.?!?
Hope this helps!.

Re:I feel your pain, man!

[camperdave]

I have the same problem in WindowsXP, Vista, and Linux, under Firefox, Konqueror, and IE. It only happens on Idle. All other sections of Slashdot are normal. The lack of wrapping was me inserting
s to show how narrow the comments box is.

Re:"Fucking dumb ass."

[Dan541]

I don't use twitter moron, thank you for backing my previous post.

Could have been worse.

[John Pfeiffer]

The only way he could have been any stupider, is if he logged in to change his FaceBook status to "Robbin a house!"

Thank God!

[Anonymous Coward]

I know what my new Facebook status is going to be...

Re:I'm not backing your post.

[Dan541]

Should I laugh at, or pity you?

I think pity is most appropriate, life must be hard for you. What this being a dip-shit and all.

Facebook group

[smileytshirt]

He has now joined the "Don't pick up the soap" group

Too stupid by far

[grolaw]

Nail one foot to the floor and let the mf ask why he always walks in circles....