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Ask Slashdot: Best Incentives For IT Workers?

New submitter Guru Jim writes "Our company is currently looking at our incentives program and are wondering what is out there that helps motivate IT workers. We have engineers/sys admins as well as developers. With both teams, we have guns who are great and really engaged in looking after the customers, but some of the team struggle. Sometimes it is easy to say that there isn't too much work on and goof off and read Slashdot all day. This puts more pressure on some of the team. Management is being more proactive in making sure the work is shared equally, but we are wondering what can be out there that is more carrot than stick? We already have cake day, corporate massage day, bonuses for exams and profit share, but what is out there that is innovative and helps build a great workplace?" If you're reading this, the odds are good that you work in or around IT (or hope to); what would you most like to see your workplace implement?

468 comments

  1. "we have guns" . . . by PolygamousRanchKid+ · · Score: 5, Funny

    That sounds like enough of an incentive to me.

    --
    Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
    1. Re:"we have guns" . . . by DrLang21 · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Profit sharing based on a broad range of metrics in the company (profit, efficiency, quality goals, etc) along with quarterly meeting to go over the status of those metrics. This quite litterally ties everyone's efforts together.

      --
      I see the glass as full with a FoS of 2.
    2. Re:"we have guns" . . . by newcastlejon · · Score: 1

      You get more with the carrot than with the stick, so unless you're employing a group of starving donkeys I suggest cold, hard cash.

      --
      If God forks the Universe every time you roll a die, he'd better have a damned good memory.
    3. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Dan667 · · Score: 5, Insightful

      this only works if there is trust with management. I use to work for a company that did this and the upper management always picked goals that miraculously never could be met. This happened for years....

    4. Re:"we have guns" . . . by TheEldest · · Score: 5, Informative

      I think short term rewards help more than long term.

      For my team when you're above your execution rate for a week you are eligible to work from home one day the next week. In general, no one does anything when they work from home but to be eligible, they have to get their work done in the office. It's effectively getting people to work harder 4 days a week for an extra day off.

      Obviously, this may or may not work with your environment.

    5. Re:"we have guns" . . . by jgrahn · · Score: 1

      You get more with the carrot than with the stick, so unless you're employing a group of starving donkeys I suggest cold, hard cash.

      People are different. Many would just want their job to suck less, to be more interesting, containing fewer artificial obstacles and so on ...

    6. Re:"we have guns" . . . by 93+Escort+Wagon · · Score: 4, Insightful

      If nothing's getting done on days employees are working from home, that smacks of bad management. When I work from home, I have to give my manager a report on what I've done that day. He's happy because he knows I'm getting my work done, and I'm happy because I didn't have to commute that day.

      If, at your company, "work from home" is a euphemism for "take a day off"... why pretend? The company should just state "if you're above your execution rate for an entire week, you can take a day off the following week".

      --
      #DeleteChrome
    7. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Jane+Q.+Public · · Score: 2

      This.

      No doubt somebody along the line here will quote the studies showing that money is often NOT a good incentive. But it depends on the people and the circumstances.

      Give me cash. Then I can buy my own cake or my own massage, if I want. But make sure the rewards are for short-term goals. Otherwise the incentive loses its luster.

    8. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      We have more.
      http://imagemacros.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/admins_guns.jpg

      -- Your stoned admins.

    9. Re:"we have guns" . . . by epSos-de · · Score: 1

      I have been working in IT since 2003 and can definitely confirm that guns are very useful in our industry. A free cake on Friday would be also nice.

    10. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      or "Hookers and blackjack!"

    11. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Zontar+The+Mindless · · Score: 2

      For me, "work from home" means "work (from home)".

      For the first few years that I had this job, I had no other way to work, since our nearest office was about 10 000 km away. The last few years, working in the office has become an option, but generally means getting less work done due to commute time and the distractions that are bound to occur whenever several dozen humans are shut in together for some hours in an enclosed space. What's even more distracting for me personally is that, for some reason, the hottest female in the office decided a few months back that we were lunch buddies. (I dunno, maybe I'm the only guy there who hasn't hit on her, or something.)

      But you apparently make the assumption that "work from home" = "day off". That just sounds very strange to me.

      --
      Il n'y a pas de Planet B.
    12. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Fnkmaster · · Score: 1

      Well higher salary at least is often not a good long term incentive. But some measure of piecework or pay for results can be a great incentive - the more directly coupled to the persons actual work product, the better in terms of incentive effectiveness.

    13. Re:"we have guns" . . . by mellon · · Score: 2

      If you're above your execution rate for the week, isn't the reward that you don't get executed?

    14. Re:"we have guns" . . . by mellon · · Score: 2

      Puhleez, don't fall for that trick. GlaDOS always promises cake, but does she deliver? Wake up and smell the coffee, dear. She's leading you down the garden path.

    15. Re:"we have guns" . . . by R.+M.+Dasheff · · Score: 4, Funny

      Guns don't kill projects, managers kill projects.

    16. Re:"we have guns" . . . by PopeRatzo · · Score: 5, Insightful

      People are different. Many would just want their job to suck less, to be more interesting, containing fewer artificial obstacles and so on ...

      Of course you're right. This isn't chinese algebra. It's a pretty simple equation. Reasonable compensation, reasonable working hours and being treated with a modicum of respect is all most people want out of a job.

      The rest is bullshit.

      One of the ways this country got into trouble is when companies started looking for innovative ways to screw employees: They thought they were clever when they gave workers "benefits" like health care and pensions instead of simply giving them pay raises, and oops, people started living longer. They sold workers on 401k plans and "matching" instead of fixed-income pensions and oops, we're going to have a generation of senior citizens in poverty.

      There are tales of CEOs so insightful that they realized by paying workers a living wage it would create a prosperous middle class that would fuel the most robust consumer economy ever, but apparently those CEOs are long gone. Today, they believe that somehow they can continue to degrade workers' incomes and it will not ever effect their own bottom line, so we have corporations that are looking for income streams that have nothing to do with their core business and it fucks everything up.

      I've lived through the most amazing social transformation: from a vibrant, prosperous middle class to a burgeoning class of working poor. And there's no sign of it turning around.

      It's not a political problem, or a government problem. It's a problem of an economic elite that has been allowed to exempt themselves from all the social rules and expectations. It's not that corporations are people, but that people are becoming corporations, and in doing so are allowed to become completely amoral. They have obliterated the social contract that raised so much of the world out of backbreaking wage-slavery and are now on an express train toward neo-feudalism.

      --
      You are welcome on my lawn.
    17. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That only works if the currently-lazy people want the extra money badly enough to get part of the profits. Most places I've worked, this profit-sharing is so limited (and often still feels somewhat disconnected from my individual efforts, because the place is so big) that it doesn't really give you much extra money. That combined with a salary that's "good enough" (covers living expenses and all reasonable wants) means I'd rather spend the "above and beyond the call of duty" hours outside of work, doing things I find enjoyable. That's more important to me than a 2 or 3 percent increase in pay.

    18. Re:"we have guns" . . . by _Sharp'r_ · · Score: 5, Insightful

      "Guru" Jim is asking the wrong people.

      If he really wants to know what incentive structure would be better for his IT staff, he should ask them to design one for him. Give them a budget limitation, as appropriate.

      Seriously, they'll be happy to do it and they'll do a much better job than either his management or someone answering generically who doesn't understand his employees and his business.

      If he calls the people he considers his best workers "guns" and so on from the question, he doesn't understand IT well enough to create a good environment on his own anyway. However, I'm sure the experienced folks in his IT department know exactly who is worth their salary in the department and how to measure that for the managers to be able to figure it out also.

      You've hired experts in the field, and you're asking on the web for how to manage them? They're supposed to be the experts on the IT needs of your company. Try asking them. Of course, I suppose that's a little too obvious and may produce too much information that reflects poorly on their management. So Caveat Emptor!

      --
      The party of stupid and the party of evil get together and do something both stupid and evil, then call it bipartisan.
    19. Re:"we have guns" . . . by war4peace · · Score: 1

      Their Jedi tricks don't work on me. Only money!

      --
      ...gis sdrawkcab (usually not responding to ACs; don't bother posting as AC)
    20. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The company will never state that, because it runs directly contrary to the managerial grain. If employees are ahead of schedule, that is an excellent opportunity to heap more requirements on them and get even more done. Why in the world would you want them to quit working the moment they are ahead?

      If they are behind, however, you want them to work extra to get caught up. Being behind on the project really sucks, after all.

    21. Re:"we have guns" . . . by ballpoint · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Quite bizarrely I see the same results in my west European country that used to be rich but is becoming less so every day. You blame it on raw capitalism, but here the ever increasingly socialist policies are sucking a part of the middle class (the part that is still working in a productive sector) bone dry to the benefit of lazy bureaucrats and entitlements for public teat suckers.

      It seems that in both environments disrespect for those who actually create value is the reason for the downturn.

      --
      Flourescent (adj): smelling like ground wheat.
    22. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Insightful

      What's even more distracting for me personally is that, for some reason, the hottest female in the office decided a few months back that we were lunch buddies. (I dunno, maybe I'm the only guy there who hasn't hit on her, or something.)

      Maybe in her not-so-subtle way she's trying to get you to rectify that oversight?

    23. Re:"we have guns" . . . by NormalVisual · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Assuming a 40 hour workweek, a 3% "above and beyond" incentive *should* mean they only expect an additional hour and 12 minutes out of you every week. In my experience, a comparable pay increase often comes with the expectation that you're going to be putting in another 10-15 hours per week, and then these fools wonder why no one wants to take them up on such a "great deal".

      --
      Please stand clear of the doors, por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas
    24. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Grishnakh · · Score: 2

      Well higher salary at least is often not a good long term incentive.

      Sure it is. But it isn't an incentive by itself; it's useful when you combine it with using that high salary to attract more-productive people, and have some kind of process for weeding out the less-productive people. A higher salary won't automatically turn a less-productive person into a star performer, however, if you only pay crappy salaries, you're not going to attract the star performers, and any that you do have are going to ditch your job for a better one that pays better.

    25. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      I second this. I recently (as in, in the past month) left a company that would advertise to the media/stockholders: Hey, we've got record revenue!! We've got record profits!! Our stock is at a record high!! Costs are low!! We're stronger than ever!!

      Come around to profit sharing time (as well as annual raises), and the word to the employees is that there is no money, things are sooooo tight, so be happy that you've gotten your 1 or 2% (and that's for top performers).

      Funny thing is, on my way out I spoke with a few former managers. Apparently they've been having meetings with HR for the past few years with HR trying to find out why morale was so low. They said that their response was exactly what I stated above - there have basically been no raises for a few years now. HR's response: well, what else can we do besides give raises/bonuses to boost morale?

    26. Re:"we have guns" . . . by marcosdumay · · Score: 1

      GlaDOS always promises cake, but does she deliver?

      Did you overlook that part about guns? I'm pretty sure this time she'll deliver.

    27. Re:"we have guns" . . . by craigminah · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I think the problem may lie with the fact "Guru" Jim had to ask total strangers what his employees need as motivation. I'd suggest management get out and "manage by walking around"...talk to your people and see what motivates them or demotivates them and take it from there.

    28. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Type44Q · · Score: 2

      to the benefit of lazy bureaucrats and entitlements for public teat suckers

      Repeat after me: pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

    29. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Interesting

      If he really wants to know what incentive structure would be better for his IT staff, he should ask them to design one for him. Give them a budget limitation, as appropriate.

      The point of an incentive system is to leverage the maximum amount of work for the minimum investment.

      Examples would be: providing $10 worth of pizza to the guys working through lunch in place of paying them an extra $50/hr; awarding a $1,000 bonus to the guys who worked 80 hours last week and would have got an extra $2,000 at their hourly rate or $3,000 if you paid them overtime; giving out a trip to the most productive team to go carting, costing you maybe $500 but getting an average of an extra $300 worth of work out of all four teams competing.

      Best case, you ask them to come up with incentives, they'll take it seriously and come up with entirely fair 1:1 compensation for their time. At that point, you may as well have just paid them better in the first place, offered them paid overtime in place of OTE or hired more, as you're not getting any increased profitability from their fair program.

      Most likely though, they'll come up with a program that's easy for them to game and get more compensation than the extra effort actually merits. The guys who always come in early anyway will likely set up an early arrivers bonus, those who already hit 40 tickets a day will set a bonus threshold at 40.

      If the point of an incentive system is to get extra work for less than, you know, hiring extra people to do that extra work, you are by definition asking for more for less. Asking people to set up the system for tricking extra work out of them? Probably not that successful.

      To be fair though, very, very few incentive systems actually work anyway. The smart figure out how to game the system (give a bonus for clearing the most tickets and you suddenly notice some guys only take the quick and easy tickets, refusing to touch the hard ones). The lazy figure they're not going to get the bonus anyway and don't make an effort. Worse, it divides your team as those who aren't getting the incentive complain about how unfair the system is and it drives a wedge between them and those who were smart enough to figure out how to game it. Joel on Software has written a bunch of good articles on this, here's one of them.

    30. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Guru+Jim · · Score: 2

      So, I could have put a little more background into the question, but we speak fairly frequently about this with the team. Some of the team have been with us for all of their IT career, so they don't really know what the options are. We talk to the team collectively often as do we individually but it is quite challenging to build a dialogue around And about the guns - we have done pistol shooting, single action shooting, paintballing and shotgunning. Among the more favoured corporate activities we have done :)

    31. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Guru+Jim · · Score: 1

      One other thing, we are in Australia - not sure how working conditions compare to the US, but we have 4 weeks holidays, 2 weeks sick leave, 13 public holidays. Sick leave can be taken for a sick member of family. It works out to 9 weeks of unpaid leave per year.

    32. Re:"we have guns" . . . by R3d+M3rcury · · Score: 4, Interesting

      If he really wants to know what incentive structure would be better for his IT staff, he should ask them to design one for him.

      Actually, have each of them design it. People are individuals and what motivates one does not necessarily motivate another.

      Years ago, my boss asked a similar question. I and my team had been working really hard to get a product shipped and he wondered what he could do for all of us. I suggested he do things for each of us.

      For example, I like toys. Have the company buy me a nice big display and new computer and I'm happy. One of the other guys really liked time off--wanted to go spend time with his LDR. Another one liked money--a cash bonus to do with as he pleased. So if the boss had bought us all new toys, I'd've been psyched but everyone would have been "meh." Give us all an extra week off? One guy is psyched, everyone else? Meh. Same with the cash.

      Ultimately, that's what he did and it worked out well.

    33. Re:"we have guns" . . . by jittles · · Score: 1

      Because there will be absolutely no bias here. I mean, I make Spacely Sprockets all day for the company, and so I would tell the manager that the best way to measure performance is sprockets per minute. But that may not be the fairest metric to use. You can't ask a diverse group of workers to create an incentive system for the entire company. You'd have to work with each group individually and then there is the chance that people will think that the sprocket manufacturers have an easier performance plan than the sprocket boxers.

    34. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What's even more distracting for me personally is that, for some reason, the hottest female in the office decided a few months back that we were lunch buddies. (I dunno, maybe I'm the only guy there who hasn't hit on her, or something.)

      Maybe in her not-so-subtle way she's trying to get you to rectify that oversight?

      Or thinks he's gay?

    35. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's not a political problem, or a government problem. It's a problem of an economic elite that has been allowed to exempt themselves from all the social rules and expectations. It's not that corporations are people, but that people are becoming corporations, and in doing so are allowed to become completely amoral.

      This. I'm about to retire from what was once my dream job. Great profit-sharing, right up until the point when the profits started to get distributed amongst too many heads. They broke the correlation between effort and reward, and seemed to be doing the sort of bullshit ramp-up that precedes the sale of a company. First I became one of the lazy employees, and then, when I finally got bored of waiting for a buyout that was never going to come (adding more manpower to a late project only makes it later), I quit. Why stick around to help your friends when they've all gotten bored and left too? If management had sold the company out, at least we would have all gotten paid before the new management fired us all. Instead, management gave the company to the new employees, and we didn't get shit.

    36. Re:"we have guns" . . . by TFAFalcon · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Look again at who ends up with all the money. Sure the bureaucrats get more then most workers - they get a middle class salary. The workers who are supposed to get the same don't, since the executives and owners keep all the profit for themselves - and the laws support this - often the middle class will be in the highest tax bracket along with the people earning millions.

      So there are two basic solutions: either lower the public employee salaries, then watch what demand there is left in the marketplace drop like a stone OR start taxing the rich at higher lvls again (I think France is about to do this).

      Talking about how the rich are the people who create jobs is strange, since they don't seem to be investing much of their money at the moment. And why is that? Simply said, there is not enough buying power in the population to afford many (domestic) products or luxuries. When people are barely surviving they will of course opt for buying cheap Chinese crap instead of a slightly more expensive local product. And the rich simply can't replace the demand of a healthy middle class, no matter how much money you give them. No person can use more then a few thousand new dresses/suits/cars per year.

    37. Re:"we have guns" . . . by TFAFalcon · · Score: 1

      Well the problem is that a single CEO (or even a small group of CEOs) can't create enough jobs to create a middle class. And if their competition is underpaying their workers then they can afford to slash prices for a while, and run the 'insightful' CEOs out of business. So what you'd need is a whole generation(s) of CEOs willing to put the good of the country ahead of their own (and their stockholders) pockets.

    38. Re:"we have guns" . . . by dynamo52 · · Score: 4, Informative

      I call bullshit.

      Judging by your previous posts, the politics you appear to embrace are much too aligned with the United States tea party types to truly represent any western European citizen I have ever known. First of all, Ive never seen any European refer to California as "Kalifornia" and there aren't many European global warming deniers either. If you do live in western Europe as you say, you are likely an American abroad, not invested in the social contract of your host nation, and simply projecting your provincial misunderstandings upon your current home. In this case, my guess is that there are very few around you who would share your opinions.

      --
      Like this comment? I accept Bitcoin! - 153sc8UUBXyp12ofQqfAWDmJrzyiKCYC1x
    39. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      agreed. Give em stock (or options). That way, if the company does well, so does the employee.

    40. Re:"we have guns" . . . by jrumney · · Score: 1

      IT: cost center. Didn't contribute to the profit of the company, so no profit sharing bonus for you.
      Sales: ....

      Profit sharing sounds nice in theory, until you see how it is implemented.

    41. Re:"we have guns" . . . by jellomizer · · Score: 1

      Money and raises are important but not the best short term incentives. The raises will make sure employees won't head out if their pay is competitive. However incentives are good for the short term. The $10 pizza for someone working over lunch. Is a way to give a little thanks for the short term thanks. Going too long term and just paying people more will not work to get the immediate done. And stop the frustration to quit.

      --
      If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
    42. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Uh... you do realize that most of those benefits in the US are a result of government wage controls during WWII, right?

    43. Re:"we have guns" . . . by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      here the ever increasingly socialist policies are sucking a part of the middle class (the part that is still working in a productive sector) bone dry to the benefit of lazy bureaucrats and entitlements for public teat suckers.

      From what I've seen, the difference is that the rich in the Old World have learned that the first to go in the revolution are always the rich, so they try to pass off as more normal. In the US, the rich are hailed as royalty. In Europe, the rich that aren't royalty, don't advertise it as such. In the US, people like Paris Hilton become famous because they are rich, then make more money because they are famous. In Europe, I can't give examples of unobtrusive rich, because they are, by definition, more stealthy.

      The point is that in the US, the Rock Star CEO makes billions while the workers suffer. In Europe, how do you know that the quiet shareholder isn't making millions or billions while the workers suffer? The government taxing away wealth doesn't destroy it. It just moves it in a similar manner to someone buying something, other than the end user doesn't get a new widget. The money still flows through the economy with all that that entails.

      I'm not in Europe, nor in the US, but I am in a "socialist" country with a strong middle class. It is getting weaker, and it's getting weaker due to the fleecing of the government and middle class by the large corporations (here, mainly developers and fringe industries, like tourism and lumber that have convinced government and people they are necessary and should receive subsidies to improve the economy, when the subsidies only improve the balance sheet of the company).

    44. Re:"we have guns" . . . by PopeRatzo · · Score: 2

      So what you'd need is a whole generation(s) of CEOs willing to put the good of the country ahead of their own (and their stockholders) pockets.

      That's right, and you can't rely upon the milk of human kindness.

      That's why, we need to have public policies to encourage (and demand) such attitude changes. We've done this many times before in our history (here in the US) where we called upon various sectors to change their ways. Just look at how we've been able to reduce the amount of smoking in a few generations just through education and raising the holy hell out of taxes on tobacco. We did it during the post-WWII era with home ownership. We've done it with anti-trust laws.

      And even going back to the very first Congress of the United States - right to the very Founders of this Nation - we've done with trade policy, tariffs, etc.

      Even the Founders could understand the basic needs for pro-domestic tariffs. We're lucky here in the 'States because we've got a big enough domestic market that we can do such things.

      Is it more important that we are able to buy blue jeans that fall apart in 3 months for $14.99 from Wal-Mart China or that we spend $50 on a pair of jeans that last 5 years and support industry at home.

      I'm something of an extremist when it comes to buying local. I'm happy to spend double on local products and triple on local union-made products. It's one of the many salutary beliefs I picked up from my parents and grandparents. You'd be surprised to know how many products that most people buy made in China that I've been able to find locally-sourced. The shoes I'm wearing right now are made about 100 miles from where I live in central Chicago and they're as good as any Mephisto (and about as pricey). Of course, I can't find everything local, but I do what I can. I can't change a generation of CEOs, but I have control over my own behavior and am willing to start there.

      --
      You are welcome on my lawn.
    45. Re:"we have guns" . . . by anubi · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Well, isn't it kind of natural to feel "left out" when you see someone else get something and you didn't?

      Geez, I would not even do that to my cats. If I feed one and don't feed the other one, I am guaranteed a fullbore catfight, and I will probably lose one cat.

      It is really insulting to see bonuses distributed among management for their skill of getting me to work for peanuts.

      It really makes me feel really stupid and taken advantage of to put in long hours, only to see someone else reap the benefit.

      And to add insult to injury, the other guy got the benefit for the skill of talking me into the long hours. At that point I am finally so disgusted I can not keep my mind on my work - I just feel like a stupid patsy. I figure I am in the wrong place, unappreciated and unneeded, and ready to leave at the first opportunity, and let the suited and tied shakers of the hand make the damm thing work.

      They seem to have gobs of money and authority - maybe they can go to the machine, wave their pens and threaten a bad review if the machine won't fix itself.

      --
      "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." [KJV: I Thessalonians 5:21]

    46. Re:"we have guns" . . . by HornWumpus · · Score: 1

      In Europe the rich move to Monaco and pay no income tax. Richard Branson disagrees about there being no European rock star CEOs. Bernie Ecclestone might want a word as well. I'm sure there are others.

      --
      John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
    47. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      There are tales of CEOs so insightful that they realized by paying workers a living wage it would create a prosperous middle class that would fuel the most robust consumer economy ever, but apparently those CEOs are long gone.

      I think you are summoning the ghost of Henry Ford (the first one)? He raised assembly line pay to get workers off the farms to do that crappy job--and created the middle class. By the end of his life, the unions were trying to organize his plants and he hired armed goons to union bust... His life story is really interesting, and different biographers take different points of view. He even wrote (or had ghost written) a few books that told the story from his perspective.

    48. Re:"we have guns" . . . by AK+Marc · · Score: 1

      A handful of some, often ones that came from elsewhere, made money, then moved on (Rupert Murdoch, Australian born US citizen who made much of his money in the UK). And you support my point about Monaco. They don't live like kings among men, as they try in the US, but move somewhere where they are just another average billionaire, and nobody notices or cares about them.

    49. Re:"we have guns" . . . by bzipitidoo · · Score: 1

      Respect, oh yes!

      When management messes with the workers by, for instance, setting impossible goals then giving everyone a bad review for under achievement, don't think a few free pizzas make up for that. When management does that, what are they saying? That they think their workers are even dumber than they are, to be stupid enough to fall for that?

      There's a difference between being a slave driver and a leader. Much of the management I've seen seems incapable of seeing any distinction.

      Tell the team what the goals are and why. Be willing to make changes in response to good arguments. Take suggestions. Have the guts to show a little humility. Many bosses seem to think they have to be the smartest person in the room, and some will even go as far as firing someone just for being smarter than they are. And whatever else you do, don't feed people bull about anything. Refusing to change even the tiniest detail of the plan isn't being a good steadfast leader, it's being stubborn, inflexible, and cowardly. It can also be bluster to cover incompetence or treachery. I've had bosses who were very patronizing to the peons, for just those reasons. Then, when their mighty plan that they refused to divulge-- because the workers are incapable of understanding it, though the truth is more likely that they'd be laughed at-- fails yet again to bring in revenue, the company is suddenly unable to pay all the employees.

      Many engineers would make far better managers than the so called elite who usually end up with such jobs. The problem is, we understand that management is a burden, and would rather not do it. Keep that in mind the next time you're tempted to feed us manure, thinking that engineers won't see through you because we are nerds and therefore are gullible suckers on such matters. Again, it's not that we can't manage, it's that we don't want to. Only the fools who think it'd be great to have power are eager to jump into management.

      --
      Intellectual Property is a monopolistic, selfish, and defective concept. It is "tyranny over the mind of man"
    50. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Macgrrl · · Score: 1

      In Victoria we only get 11 public holidays per year, not 13. Jeff also made it possible for them to fall on a weekend if you are unlucky (though most workplaces recognize a day in lieu to make up for it).

      --
      Sara
      Designer, Gamer, Macgrrl in an XP World
    51. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Kyusaku+Natsume · · Score: 1

      C'mon! If you don't do that, then how you will enjoy the sight of finding a beheaded corpse half a block from your home, or seeing how gunmen put 11 bullets in the guy that is drinking a latte in the next table at a Starbucks. The second thing I only missed it because I was at work instead at one of my favorite Starbucks. But the insane policies that have made Mexico from a country like South Korea in 1980 to the mess is today are the ones you are describing. But then, I don't blame the rich for being such bastards, I blame the suckers that accept to being screwed by them. I suppose they don't like to live in a civilized way.

      --
      Mexico: 100% conservative's America now!
    52. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Nice. That works when you have a proper "manager" and not a "human resources department", who just looks to figure out how to fit humans into the machine most efficiently.

    53. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Homr+Zodyssey · · Score: 1

      Cake Day, Massage Day, paintballing, etc... and you want to do more carrot less stick? If you seriously have all of these motivational perks and your team isn't responding, then I think it is time to pull out the stick. People shouldn't be in constant fear for their jobs, but they shouldn't assume they can slack off all day every day without repercussions, either.

    54. Re:"we have guns" . . . by inKubus · · Score: 2

      Don't let her distract you. You're in the friend zone. You don't need her. You the man.

      --
      Cool! Amazing Toys.
    55. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "Guru" Jim is asking the wrong people.

      If he really wants to know what incentive structure would be better for his IT staff, he should ask them to design one for him. Give them a budget limitation, as appropriate.

      I'm seeing a lot of these types of responses... that if you ask people what motivates them, they will be able to tell you. Or you should simply be able to figure out this problem on your own.

      Unfortunately, psychology research suggests otherwise. For example, see this talk by Dan Pink about motivation with the type of problems most slashdotters work on: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrkrvAUbU9Y.

    56. Re:"we have guns" . . . by smellotron · · Score: 1

      The shoes I'm wearing right now are made about 100 miles from where I live in central Chicago and they're as good as any Mephisto (and about as pricey).

      Where do you get your shoes?

    57. Re:"we have guns" . . . by SecurityTheatre · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Socialism is not the problem. The most successful OECD country in the world over the last 15 years (economically) is perhaps Norway. They're running nearly $0.5 trillion budget surplus, yet have almost 100% coverage for subsidized housing, government healthcare, etc.

      Greece or Italy on the other hand, is bogged down in crony politics, where vested interests control the purse strings and wealthy individuals, corporations and families dominate politics. They "buy" the electorate with elaborate schemes. That's not capitalism, nor socialism. It's a gross sort of plutocracy.

      "Creating value" is a misnomer, at least in how you're framing it. The middle class "creates value" in a post-industrial society. This is painfully obvious when you look at the fact that the relative economic strength of post-industrial economies is almost exactly in line with the percentage of the population within the "middle class" as broadly defined as capable of sustaining modern living standards (owning a house, car, etc) within their means, while having a limited surplus of disposable income, given regional living standards and prices.

      Norway has an especially large middle class. Places such as the US and Canada have an average sized one, and places such as Italy have a smaller sized one, when using similar standards.

      Cities in Norway are almost 70% middle class, by the same standards, the middle class of the US has decreased from 65% in the 1970s to around 50% today.

      Inter-generational mobility is also much higher in Europe than in the US and Britain, who have a more "market oriented" approach to this topic.

      I think it's pretty hare to make conclusions about which policies cause the downturns and income inequality.

    58. Re:"we have guns" . . . by PopeRatzo · · Score: 1

      Uh... you do realize that most of those benefits in the US are a result of government wage controls during WWII, right?

      Not the ones that did the most economic damage. Those were mainly from the 60s and 70s during UAW negotiations with the auto companies. I'm talking about the crazy health care and pension benefits that almost sunk the automakers.

      --
      You are welcome on my lawn.
    59. Re:"we have guns" . . . by PopeRatzo · · Score: 2

      Many engineers would make far better managers than the so called elite who usually end up with such jobs.

      Maybe. There is a separate skill in management, but unfortunately it's not taught in b-schools any more. What we get is "cut jobs to get a stock price bump this quarter".

      --
      You are welcome on my lawn.
    60. Re:"we have guns" . . . by PopeRatzo · · Score: 1

      Yeah, Jews really suck, don't they? Maybe what we need is another Hitler.

      I knew we'd hear from a Republican eventually.

      --
      You are welcome on my lawn.
    61. Re:"we have guns" . . . by JayRott · · Score: 1

      My kingdom for mod points! (For the record, I am one of those working poor and "my kingdom" encompases a half a roll of toilet paper, 2 slightly used napkins, and a slightly crumpled dollar bill; but hey, it is the thought that counts right?)

    62. Re:"we have guns" . . . by HornWumpus · · Score: 1

      Monaco is a tax dodge, Europe's version of capital gains tax rates. Capital is mobile etc. They are there to be seen though. Rich folks and their problems. Last years Ferrari is so last year.

      We have millionaire enclaves as well. Pebble Beach, Beverly Hills etc. Most richers (see southpark) are and prefer to be anonymous.

      Live like kings among men? You realize many of you still have actual fucking reigning kings? Who are the Rothschilds? Do you think that hot princess from Sweden washes her own drawers? (hell no, I'm sure she or her butler gets six figures American from Japanese perverts, per day.) I digress.

      --
      John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
    63. Re:"we have guns" . . . by ballpoint · · Score: 2

      The reason why there is less buying power is that an ever bigger part of the economy is wasted. One team filling the virtual pits another team is digging while a third team is watching consumes resources but does not create value.

      The problem is not the level of income of the diggers/fillers.

      --
      Flourescent (adj): smelling like ground wheat.
    64. Re:"we have guns" . . . by phantomfive · · Score: 1

      Pretty near all Russians have the idea that global warming is a hoax, and if it really is happening, they want more of it! Understandably, have you been to Saint Petersburg? It's cold!

      --
      "First they came for the slanderers and i said nothing."
    65. Re:"we have guns" . . . by ballpoint · · Score: 2

      You couldn't be more wrong. Anyway, since you have godwinned this branch by trying to associate me with a gruesome part of history, I refrain from discussing further with you.

      --
      Flourescent (adj): smelling like ground wheat.
    66. Re:"we have guns" . . . by David+Gerard · · Score: 1

      I can WFH whenever I need to, which is quite often (chronically ill partner). I find myself actually wanting to get into the office on Mondays because the quiet times to get on with stuff are good, but sometimes you really need to deal with people face to face to work stuff out at high bandwidth.

      i.e. Meeting Day is a useful idea.

      --
      http://rocknerd.co.uk
    67. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Jiro · · Score: 1

      "If the company does well, so does the employee" is actually a bad deal for employees because it is the opposite of diversification. It sets it up so that if the company goes bankrupt, the employee loses twice--not only does he not have a job, but his stock options are worthless too.

    68. Re:"we have guns" . . . by ballpoint · · Score: 1

      I'm pretty sure the ample income from energy resources is what allows Norway to afford its welfare state. I do agree that in this context its social policies are way better than that of other countries with a similar endowment, though.

      But keeping a large and well off middle class without such a windfall requires that they be productive. Not to be insulting, but Norway used to be a stiffled backwater not that long ago, and to be honest still is below the surface if you think away said windfall.

      My concern is that misguided policies waste valuable potential. Bureaucrats shifting paper and creating hoops for others to jump through do not create value. A large part of the population standing on the sidelines doesn't either.

      --
      Flourescent (adj): smelling like ground wheat.
    69. Re:"we have guns" . . . by TFAFalcon · · Score: 2

      The sad thing is that those policies will never be enacted, since some of the money gained by reducing worker pay goes to 'supporting' politicians that will block any laws that would implement them.

    70. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Neil+Boekend · · Score: 1

      Tell them to calculate how well the holy Sales would do without IT. No network, no email, no computers, no phone, no fax. How would they close a sale? Does IT contribute to the profit of the company now?

      --
      Well, I might have a way, but it only works on a semi spherical planet in a vacuum.
    71. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Mostly due to its oil, not that hard to balance a budget when you have huge oil-export-related income. Whats imporessive is that they manage this without lots of corruption or letting huge private-corporations taking all the profits.

    72. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yes, although it helpt to have an enormous oil investment fund to support this.

    73. Re:"we have guns" . . . by c_sd_m · · Score: 1

      Actual things can be more motivating than cash due to salience. Unless you're Scrooge McDuck, just have a bunch of money to rub against your body isn't as motivating as imagining the vacation you'll take to a specific destination or the BBQ you'll win. Caveat: most of the research on motivating employees using cash vs salient rewards was done with people working in places like call centers with clear metrics that are easy to measure and personal.

    74. Re:"we have guns" . . . by midicase · · Score: 1

      "-wanted to go spend time with his LDR"

      Large Diameter Roll?

    75. Re:"we have guns" . . . by DrLang21 · · Score: 1

      Profit sharing does require management to care. If they don't, then you can't boost moral by any means.

      --
      I see the glass as full with a FoS of 2.
    76. Re:"we have guns" . . . by DrLang21 · · Score: 1

      Profit sharing only works if it's implemented correctly. That's a given for any incentive. If you're management doesn't give a shit, then no incentive is going to work. It's like Ford's "Quality is Job One" campaign from the 80s.

      --
      I see the glass as full with a FoS of 2.
    77. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      See, this is why I like Slashdot's moderation system. Shills like you mostly disappear, and posts that reveal your shill status are highlighted for easy viewing.

      Nice attempt to conflate disagreement with a call to Godwin, but you've lost this round. Better luck next time.

    78. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Dumbass, he did not invoke Godwin's Law.

    79. Re:"we have guns" . . . by _Sharp'r_ · · Score: 2

      If you have a large enough team, then you have at least one person (and likely more people as your team is larger) on that team with is an architect personality type. Many tend to migrate to IT areas. This will be the people who designs your IT systems, who can tell you how to structure your load balancer and your networks and your firewalls and your servers to get the most out of your applications.

      On the development side, they're likely to be a lead developer who always seems to be planning ahead for their team in terms of tools and structure. On the infrastructure/server side they're the guy always automating stuff and creating systems that run themselves.

      This is 5% of the population, max. Maybe closer to 1-2%. But even if you only have 50 IT guys, that gives you good odds of one or more. You're looking for the people who are the ones always automating stuff and creating not only new IT systems, but new process systems for how people do stuff and making suggestions on existing systems for how to make them better.

      One of those guys in each of the major IT areas of your company is who you want to look for. They'll already have an understanding of how the "people" systems in that IT area works. They haven't told you how to make it better yet because their past experience is that management has their own ideas and typically doesn't care for theirs, or ends up poorly implementing theirs. They may not believe you at first when you tell them you want them to give you a plan on how to improve things. Don't take no for an answer. Tell them you'll most likely do whatever they say, they just have to outline it for you and help create the details.

      Tell them you just want them to improve the end results of their IT department, whatever that is. It's typically something like the service the customer receives, or depending on your company, maybe internal customers instead. You don't need to go into different effort levels by people. They know all that. You aren't really looking to improve person X's work ethic with incentives, right? You really just want better overall results. Focus on that goal.

      They won't be able to resist. They'll design something for you. If they are less experienced in the workplace, it may take a couple of iterations as they figure out how people respond. Bring up the individualization options so that they don't focus on a one-size-fits-all option. Make sure they understand the option to throw out existing process requirements, not just add new ones. Those might be blind-spots for them otherwise.

      Asking for ideas/feedback in a group meeting isn't going to work. These guys will have enough experience to know that they could only at best suggest an incremental improvement to what you already have. Anything more than that and it's going to get screwed up in the implementation details. No, give someone individual responsibility for creating an entire system framework for improving your desired overall goal, then stand back and watch the ultimate results. You'll be surprised at how well they know the business of what their IT department already does and how to improve it. You'll be shocked at how much pointless waste and inefficiency you have that can be gotten rid of.

      Or, if you really don't think you have someone who can do that in your group, then feel free to hire someone like me to come in and interview people to get the same answers and put something together for you, but that costs more money than an Ask Slashdot. :)

      --
      The party of stupid and the party of evil get together and do something both stupid and evil, then call it bipartisan.
    80. Re:"we have guns" . . . by almitchell · · Score: 1

      Been there, seen that. Somehow, the goals below Director never got met, so there were no bonuses, but the Exec VPs somehow always met theirs and got nice checks.

      --
      Baseless self confidence kills more people each year than bathtubs.
    81. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Many Props...

    82. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What? It's the norm where you work for people to need constant babysitting and the direct physical presence of an authority figure for them to do their work? You use it as a reward?? This is the most nauseating and horrifying thing I will read all week.

    83. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The fact that they are allowed to do this obviously *is* a political problem. Corporations exist at the behest of the government, not the other way around. At some point, we will have to remember that.

    84. Re:"we have guns" . . . by tompaulco · · Score: 1

      Assuming a 40 hour workweek, a 3% "above and beyond" incentive *should* mean they only expect an additional hour and 12 minutes out of you every week. In my experience, a comparable pay increase often comes with the expectation that you're going to be putting in another 10-15 hours per week, and then these fools wonder why no one wants to take them up on such a "great deal".
      Overtime at most hourly jobs is 1.5 to 2 times or more of the base pay. So 3% translates to less than an hour or maybe as little as less than a half hour of extra work. If an employee performs 3% beyond expectation , they should be rewarded at 4.5% to 6% above base salary. If the company doesn't want to pay that much for overtime, then they could always higher another person at 1X the base salary.

      --
      If you are not allowed to question your government then the government has answered your question.
    85. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What brand are the shoes? I'm in Chicago and need to buy some new ones.

    86. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Socialism is not the problem. The most successful OECD country in the world over the last 15 years (economically) is perhaps Norway

      Which, in addition to a relatively small and heterogenous population, has significant oil and gas revenues (especially when considered on a per-capita basis) to prop up their economy.

    87. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Seng · · Score: 1

      It also only works if management is actually prompt to do the bonuses.... We have a relatively decent incentive plan where I work, and it's supposed to be paid quarterly. Not once in the past 2 years has it been paid on the quarter - In fact, they're 3 months late, and God forbid they ever "stack" the late ones together to make it a "Very Nice Bonus".

      Having an always-late incentive definitely lessens the amount of hard work you're willing to put in if you never see it.

    88. Re:"we have guns" . . . by tompaulco · · Score: 1

      IT: cost center. Didn't contribute to the profit of the company, so no profit sharing bonus for you.
      Sales: ....

      Profit sharing sounds nice in theory, until you see how it is implemented.
      But surely your company has told you at some point "we're all in sales"? So therefore, you get a cut of the sales profit.
      This is what I don't understand, why is everybody all in sales, but not everybody is in IT, or not everybody is in Development? Why is sales the one part of the company which requires everyone's help to get their job done?
      I think that the one thing Sales has going for it is not the ability to sell the product itself, which they can't seem to do well, but to sell Management on the idea that Sales is everybody's job. To put another way, Marketing's job is to convince companies that they need marketing, and they do it very well. Marketing the product itself, not so much.

      --
      If you are not allowed to question your government then the government has answered your question.
    89. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      His probably Finnish, they spell California with K. And there are plenty of people who perceive that they have been on the giving end of the "socialist" system and feel that without it they could truly excel. I think it is hard to grow up in Finland and not start to rebel against it. Everything that is gained with that system feels free & easy and is hard to measure. It feels like it has always been there, so Its easier to pay attention to the stiffness in the system, high taxes and herd mentality. It's popular to just cherry pick cool stuff that works elsewhere and then rant that it should be like that in Finland as well. And of course it could be, and probably will be as well, but lot of the gained advantages will be lost as well. Nobody seems to be happy with whatever current status quo is. It gets really boring after couple of generations.

    90. Re:"we have guns" . . . by poofmeisterp · · Score: 1

      Careful now, you might be labeled a "terrorist" for posting a comment like that online. *gag*

    91. Re:"we have guns" . . . by R3d+M3rcury · · Score: 1

      Long Distance Relationship.

    92. Re:"we have guns" . . . by jrumney · · Score: 1

      Profit sharing only works if it's implemented correctly.

      The same can be said for communism. The problem is that the tendency for human greed is such that attempts to fairly spread wealth are doomed to failure from the start.

    93. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Linux Distro Representative

    94. Re:"we have guns" . . . by DrLang21 · · Score: 1

      If a company can't put aside it's greed enough to make a fair profit sharing program, then it can kiss employee moral goodbye. Employees are the single most valuable asset that a company has. If they can't recognize that, then they will be doomed to mediocrity. They might even be a phenominally profitable company. But if they can't respect their employees who make them that way, then they are throwing away millions of dollars in lost efficiency. I'm not saying that profit sharing is the only solution, but all incentive programs will be a complete failure if the company can't put their greed behind them enough to have a basic respect for all the people they hired. Tieing incentives for everyone into whole company performace at least guarentees that everyone (managers included) has to share in the success and the pain together on a broad based metric.

      --
      I see the glass as full with a FoS of 2.
    95. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Zontar+The+Mindless · · Score: 2

      I keep a photo of my fiancée in a fairly prominent place on my desk, so I don't think it's either of those (interested in me, or thinking I'm gay). Maybe she just wants to be treated like a human.

      --
      Il n'y a pas de Planet B.
    96. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Nothing2Chere · · Score: 1

      Either that or he's set off her gaydar and she feels "safe" around him... n2ch

    97. Re:"we have guns" . . . by Nothing2Chere · · Score: 1

      Overtime at most hourly jobs is 1.5 to 2 times or more of the base pay.

      I work in Washington state you insensitive clod.

      n2ch

    98. Re:"we have guns" . . . by PopeRatzo · · Score: 1

      The reason why there is less buying power is that an ever bigger part of the economy is wasted.

      What does it mean when money in an economy is "wasted"? Does it mean it's being spent on things you don't like or does it mean that the wrong people are getting it?

      --
      You are welcome on my lawn.
    99. Re:"we have guns" . . . by RevDisk · · Score: 1


      I've dated women that most folks would consider well out of my league. The "trick" is not acting like a moron. Try talking her as a human being first, don't stare, don't try to impress her, don't be way overly helpful and generally be polite. If things progress (and let her handle that), cool. If not, as long as she's a decent lunch buddy (good conversation, pays for her half, etc), enjoy it for what it is and don't try to turn it into what it is not.

      If she's imposing in some way, more than you're comfy with, try telling her directly. Politely and don't make a scene out of it. If that doesn't work, start doing things with other folks. Don't be passive aggressive, but don't be a rug either. If you do get friend zoned, either accept being just a friend (and NEVER anything more), or move on. Don't waffle.

  2. Cheetos. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Or Doritos. Or Fritos.

  3. More guns... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    With both teams, we have guns who are great and really engaged in looking after the customers, but some of the team struggle.

  4. Daily reports by ClickOnThis · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Every day, each employee e-mails a short report of what s/he did that day. It doesn't take too long, and it encourages mutual accountability, even if only a few co-workers read them regularly.

    --
    If it weren't for deadlines, nothing would be late.
    1. Re:Daily reports by bugnuts · · Score: 1, Insightful

      Throwing bureaucracy at it is an incentive? Sounds like a disincentive to do projects that are either researchy or slow. Who the hell wants to do the disassembly of the magic bootstrap code that can take weeks of stepping through Roms, when you can be quickly coding a brainless API implementation?

    2. Re:Daily reports by ClickOnThis · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Throwing bureaucracy at it is an incentive? Sounds like a disincentive to do projects that are either researchy or slow. Who the hell wants to do the disassembly of the magic bootstrap code that can take weeks of stepping through Roms, when you can be quickly coding a brainless API implementation?

      I'm not talking about writing a giant tome. It could be just a handful of bullet-points. Include, e.g., brief "brags" on micro-successes, or frustrations with using a particular tool. And you can personalize it by adding jokes, recipes, interesting haiku, whatever.

      Also, there should be no judgement on the report contents, or punishment for not doing them. Instead, offer small rewards or incentives for actually completing them regularly.

      --
      If it weren't for deadlines, nothing would be late.
    3. Re:Daily reports by burni2 · · Score: 1

      Is actually a very bad idea because you can tweak a report and this will only put more pressure on your overachievers, weekly reports and no other reporting sideways, this keeps the bureaucracy in a good balance.

      Mostly when your team members aren't achieving the intended amount of work then you need to find out why. And you should stop idiotic things like cake day or company message day, because in the eyes of the overachievers they will most likely feel goofed around and the underachievers will accept this and eat the cake.

      Cake day is good but don't mix up your intentions.

      The chance, find out what makes an overachiever so determined for their work
      - perfectionism
      - company binding

      Find the difference between under and over doers, and then you will be able to boost all, but don't think your underachievers will reach top levels most likely not.

      Btw. the main problem,
      - responsibility (task is given with less explantion no liberty of thougt, you got to do what you got to do!)
      - praising falls short

      btw. sometimes your under achievers if they change their job within the company they can turn 180 !

    4. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      This makes employees unhappy. Tasks should be recorded in a database anyway (I use SharePoint). Even if it doesn't take too long, it is still extra work. Tracking work of employees should be done so you can track the work (accountability), not track the employee.

    5. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting

      - Administration: 2 hours
        - Writing this report: 10 minutes
        - Accounting for this report during the day: 10 minutes
        - Bathroom and breaks: 40 minutes
        - Telling others what I will be doing in the future (because they asked): 4 hours
        - Doing work: 1 hour

      My typical day. I explained to my manager that's what they'll likely see in the report. They called bullshit. I asked them to watch. They were horrified at the wasted time talking to other teams telling them every day what I was going to do but couldn't get to, and that they didn't just hang up (or leave my cube) and let me work when I told them "I'd have done 1 hour of work if I didn't spend 1 hour on the phone telling you I would do 1 hour of work today".

      In the end, I didn't have to write up more reports, and nothing got fixed because those idiots are from other departments and nobody cares. I still spend 4 hours a day telling people what I will do and that I can't do it because I'm telling you I will do it instead of doing the work. If this company weren't imploding *and* the largest tech employer in the city (and I didn't own a house), I'd have already found another job. *sigh*

    6. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      If people are struggling find out why,

      It could a training issue, boredom issue, expectation issue, it could be about a million different things.

      You will never know why unless you ask...

    7. Re:Daily reports by Kjella · · Score: 1

      That would describe what you did, but not how you did it in neither quality or effort. If you're on a scrum or scrummish team you probably already have this in your daily stand-up, we actually do it sitting down but there's a round around the table on what you did get done, will be doing and any issues/assistance you might need. That's entirely for productivity reasons though, not motivating people that aren't pulling their share.

      --
      Live today, because you never know what tomorrow brings
    8. Re:Daily reports by Iskender · · Score: 4, Insightful

      If you make writing daily reports someone's job, chances are that's exactly what it'll become. Meaning they concentrate on things that look good in the report, and little else. For an example, consider how the No Child Left Behind standardised follow-up system has made teaching/studying with only tests in mind common.

      If mutual accountability is desired, I think communicating with (talking to!) other people is much better.

    9. Re:Daily reports by npetrov · · Score: 2

      I have been doing daily reports for a while. The way I do them - I keep an excel file where I have a column for a short summary of what I worked on during the day. If I had an issue and it needs to be fixed - I will write it there too. At the end of the day I'd send an email to my managers with a summary of what I did. Usually no more than 2 3-line paragraphs. What this really helps me with is to make sure management sees that I actually produce or research a lot each day. This also makes me want to complete things by the end of the day as opposed to leaving them for the next day.

    10. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You Sir, you are a moron (and probably a boss with the people skills of a squirrel). That's the last thing you want to ask from IT Workers, MORE PAPER CRAP (to write and to read).

      I'm a systems engineer, from my eight hour workday i spend about two hours really working on system (if i'm lucky), the rest is paper crap, meetings, more meetings, even more meetings, getting yelled at by my boss 'cause i spend so much time in meetings that i do not want to attend etc... If you want to give incentivies to IT Workers, get some secretarys for them that are trained for paper crap and let the IT workers do IT.

    11. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      That idea really sucks.

    12. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

      If I need a "brag" about my achievements then I need a new workplace. Let me manage my own time, provide me with the tools to effectively complete my work, randomly drop-by my cubicle once or twice a week to informally chat for a few minutes (2-5 minutes). If my co-workers are screw-up, fire them. if my co-workers are bullies, in any sense of the word, fire them. If you, as my manager, cannot meet this requirement, you should be fired. If I need two days to mentally attack a problem, leave me alone. If I need you, as my manager, to approve some out of office time, be available and do not require me to make-up the time. My mind works on your problems, consciously and subconsciously, 24 hours a day; respect me as a professional rather than as a cog in the machine. Weekly written status reports I can handle. Above all, if a co-worker is disrupting the cohesion of the team, fire the co-worker. Passive-aggressive co-workers kill an enjoyable workplace.

    13. Re:Daily reports by ClickOnThis · · Score: 2

      So, your manager excused you from a task that takes 10 minutes, but did nothing about the 4 hours of walk-up requests you're still getting?

      If I were you, I'd include in my report some pre-emptive answers to the questions I'm likely to get.

      --
      If it weren't for deadlines, nothing would be late.
    14. Re:Daily reports by tnk1 · · Score: 4, Insightful

      A status report is one of the most hated things tech people do. I know it's necessary sometimes, but I literally remember jobs much more fondly when I don't have to do them. And it's not because I don't get work done, it's because I hate the idea of having to think of something every day that I did which makes me look like I am doing my job.

      I like the ability to be given goals, a deadline, and achieve things on time and well. And as an engineer, and as a manager, if I set reasonable goals and they are achieved, that is a big plus for me. It may well be a good idea to break those projects down into smaller milestones for greater accountability, as well as a greater sense of achievement for the engineer who can say they got something done. If a worker wants to spend all week long reading the web and still gets my task done within the time limit and within the acceptable level of quality, I don't care what they do. If they fail, of course, they know it and I do too.

      Now, I would agree that on a personal level, it may be a good idea for engineers to write and record what they themselves did that day. That keeps them honest with themselves about what they actually did and did not do. I think reporting to others encourages people to be less honest with themselves about what they are really doing because they have to risk looking bad in front of their managers and colleagues. The people who are best at that will be those who have a certain style of work, or those who know how to bullshit on reports. Some people work better when facing deadlines and have some pressure on them, but are nearly idle when there's no pressure on them. Those people will look lazy when the reality is that they achieve as much as the people with the other habits, and sometimes more the the bullshitters.

      In the end, give your people reasonable goals, keep them broken down into discrete tasks, and call them out if and when they fail to deliver on those tasks within reason. If they fail to deliver, then I could see some remedial measures being applied. At that point, you can instruct them to record what they did that day, and expect disclosure. Or you could suggest to them that they take some time to evaluate their own habits and if they fail again, they face mandatory improvement plans or they can find a new job.

      The major things that motivate engineers are going to be a sense that they did their job well, that they are making enough money to support their families and hobbies, and that there is a sense they can excel and move ahead in some way within your organization. If I was in charge of the whole organization and had budget authority at a high enough level, I'd probably schedule a quarterly bonus and review cycle based on achievement of assigned goals with a stated level of quality and also some monetary incentive for innovation. I'd also make sure that my workers did not spend more than 40 hours in the workplace, and I would send their asses home if they tried to stay longer, unless we truly did have a real emergency, and not an emergency caused by my inability to plan properly.

      Managers can be just as shitty or as excellent as engineers can be, and they do have a very real job which is complementary, not antagonistic with a good engineer. Managers make sure that they understand the people and resources they have on hand, they plan well, and they find out how their people work their best. If a manager can make someone happier while getting the job done, they do that because your business invests a lot in retaining good workers. Good workers are also there for you when the shit hits the fan and you have no choice but to deliver no matter what. And when good engineers manage to pull your shit out of the fire, you let them know they were critical in saving everyone's ass.

      Oh, and one other thing. The best way to motivate good workers is to (after a very clear process and opportunities to improve), fire those who are not delivering. Make it clear that you value the people you work with by rem

    15. Re:Daily reports by fahrbot-bot · · Score: 1

      Every day, each employee e-mails a short report of what s/he did that day. It doesn't take too long, and it encourages mutual accountability, even if only a few co-workers read them regularly.

      Sorry, but that idea has pointy-haired boss written all over it.

      Hopefully others will also explain the obvious stupidity of your suggestion, but I will offer the following: not everyone needs to know - nor read - about everything, everyday, nor will everyone understand everything. Furthermore, are you suggesting a many-to-one or many-to-many email arrangement? Both are wildly wasteful of good employees' and managers' time.

      --
      It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
    16. Re:Daily reports by vlm · · Score: 4, Insightful

      That's the last thing you want to ask from IT Workers, MORE PAPER CRAP (to write and to read).

      You're in IT but you can't automate paperwork.... A little bash script and I've got a daily report.

      If you want to give incentivies to IT Workers, get some secretarys for them

      Not secretary, apprentice aka intern. Not as crazy of an idea as you'd think. You don't want to pay an IT guy $50/hr to do the job of an $8/hr file clerk or intern anyway.

      --
      "Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
    17. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      That approach is misguided, not only because it is a waste of valuable time, but also because employees will be encouraged to add fluff to their daily reports.

      Before we took idiot boy(our former boss) out of the picture, he was making us do daily logs of all our work. In a scientific instrument repair shop, this led to employees writing bullshit bullet points like "researched and processed part orders and documentation" when all they did was take a literal minute to fill out an excel sheet and drop it in a box. My favorite bullet point was, I shit you not, "Waited for paint to dry," written by an underperforming tech after he had applied touch-up paint to a finished system.

      Now imagine the horrific possibilities of abuse in an IT context. For example, you can look forward to seeing shit like, "Utilized State-of-the-art virtualization to improve performance and disk usage, enabling for easy dynamic expansion. " Just for doing what they do every day. Get the picture?

      -- Ethanol-fueled

    18. Re:Daily reports by fahrbot-bot · · Score: 1

      Mentioning daily scrum meetings and productivity in the same paragraph is adorable. Sure, *perhaps* daily scrum meetings are useful if you have a very inexperienced (or incompetent) team - workers and/or management, but they're otherwise counter productive. Having it included in the concept of "agile" is very, very funny. Now excuse me, I have actual work to do, and if/when I need to coordinate with someone, I'll contact them or they me.

      --
      It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
    19. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Horrible idea. Mine company does a version of this every day where we have a meeting and everyone has a short amount of time to report on what they have worked on. Biggest waste of time ever, no one wants to be there, no one really pays attention to what anyone else is saying because it's just reports, there's no collaboration allowed, and it always tends to happen right when you're in the flow of programming. Daily reports are ridiculous - there's a difference between providing incentives to do more or better work and micromanaging and annoying your employees - you'll find people do a bunch of filler stuff just so they more to report on.

    20. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That's the last thing you want to ask from IT Workers, MORE PAPER CRAP (to write and to read).

      You're in IT but you can't automate paperwork.... A little bash script and I've got a daily report.

      No, you can't automate paperwork, that's why it's called paperwork. You obviously don't ever had to use an ERP like SAP, that shit alone takes an hour to fill in, then there are the company specific tools (like some tools directly from hell that i'm not even gonna mention here), excel-sheets (always fun, because EVERY problem in a company can be solved by yet another execl-sheet, prefered with colors so you can't parse it easily with a script) and all the other fun things my boss want's me to do, in addition to a workload for stuff i really should do to fill 8hrs/day....

      If you want to give incentivies to IT Workers, get some secretarys for them

      Not secretary, apprentice aka intern. Not as crazy of an idea as you'd think. You don't want to pay an IT guy $50/hr to do the job of an $8/hr file clerk or intern anyway.

      Fine by me, everything that let's me do the work i'm actually getting paid for and offload the papercrap to the $5/hr dude, but that's not how corporations work, they seem to PREFER to pay me 100$/hr to be grumpy all day 'cause i'm fed up with SAP...

    21. Re:Daily reports by Darkness404 · · Score: 2

      Except for the fact that it encourages people to use company time to get nothing done. What does this accomplish? Do I really want to spend 15 minutes out of my day to say:

      Worked on testing X program
      Fixed X Bug
      Discovered X bug
      Worked on patching X bug
      Wrote e-mail about patching X bug

      The life of most IT workers is fairly boring and honestly, who wants to read about it? Business communication is stressful enough for a good chunk of workers I hardly consider having to write more business communication an incentive. In fact, I know that me and a good chunk of my immediate co-workers we hate the "business" atmosphere, we'd much rather just get stuff done, produce good, reliable code that works rather than worrying about a "business atmosphere".

      --
      Taxation is legalized theft, no more, no less.
    22. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You're everything that's wrong with America. I'd mod you down if I had points. Twice if I could. If you're so damned incapable of figuring out what your people are doing each day that you need a daily report you need to fire yourself out of a cannon and let one of those employees take the pay raise for your position. Do you really need to see tangible results in every 8 hour period to justify having someone on the job? That's not even close to an incentive. It's a moral crusher. No matter how you try to spin it they're going to see it as justifying their job. If you're in management then you need to quit. If you aren't then I hope you never are. Moron. Yes that's a personal attack and you deserve it. If you want to give people incentives, do things that make their lives easier, raises, stock that vests over a few years time, improve their healthcare on the companies dime, hell - just give them a free lunch once a week or free snacks in the snack room if all that other stuff is too costly for your company. Something to make them say, "hey, this company is trying to do right by us."

      Daily progress reports? Go to hell, motherfucker. I hate you.

    23. Re:Daily reports by Zerth · · Score: 2

      Sounds like your boss needs to give you a door that locks and a broken phone.

    24. Re:Daily reports by doesnothingwell · · Score: 1

      From our management overloads: Office Space its a cook book.

      --
      They can have my command prompt when they pry it from my cold dead fingers.
    25. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Interestingly when we started doing this, I found it motivating.

      Sounds really weird, but it almost felt like I was getting credit for stuff that would normally just be lost in the noise. It was almost an incentive to be able to write that massive "here's all the stuff I got done today!" email.

    26. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      All right in theory - but you are forgetting the 'unknown - unknowns'.

      Quite often during our daily scrum meetings people mention things which get picked up by other people (e.g. I'm working on feature 'a' which needs 'b', and someone else also requires 'b' to do 'c') - given reuse and generalization are some of the key benefits of software, I think that the time saved is easily outweighed by the time spent in scrums.

    27. Re:Daily reports by BenJury · · Score: 1

      So there's no way to programatically enter data into SAP? Fine, then write something that enters the data 'manually' for you. Hell, even VB6 could send keys to the active window and thats nothing compared to the macroing solutions we have available nowadays.

      --
      Blatant Advert: Android Apps!
    28. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Interesting

      My NORMAL day...

      -- Wake up at 7am when my alarm goes off
      -- Turn on pager (yes, really)
      -- Phone in to clock in
      -- check work email
      -- roll over and go back to sleep
      -- wake up 5 minutes later when pager goes off, check that it's not for me (because they're shotgunned to the whole team, not directed to those who actually care)
      -- roll over and go back to sleep
      -- more pager-checking and sleeping
      -- finally get out of bed at 10am
      -- futz around doing whatever I feel like
      -- go to lunch with co-workers at 11:30-ish
      -- clock out for lunch via phone at 12:00
      -- clock in from lunch via phone at 12:30
      -- finish eating lunch with co-workers at 1:00-ish
      -- futz around doing whatever I feel like
      -- clock out via phone at 3:30pm
      -- turn off pager

      My boss knows that we all do this and he doesn't care... as long as we do get the job done when the call does actually come in. He also knows that I'll spend 22 hrs straight on-site to repair a down system, that I won't take the following day off, that I'll go in to help anyone, whether it's my system or not, regardless of time or day. And we still cost less than the vendors do.

    29. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This is by far, the worst idea ever.

    30. Re:Daily reports by nine-times · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I wanted to say something along these lines. Be a little careful in your metrics and incentives.

      Part of the problem is, if you make people account for all of their time, you hurt morale. When morale is low, people are less productive. Attempts to keep track of everything and crack the whip on those who aren't performing might result in worse performance. Plus, as you point out, tracking time takes time. If someone spends an hour a day trying to keep track of how they're spending their time, that's 1 hour fewer open to being productive. And don't make the mistake thinking that tracking time only takes the 10 minutes of filling out the paperwork-- needing to track your time means there's one more thing vying for focus, one more thing to pay attention to.

      Aside from that, it's important to note that if you hire someone for a 40 hour work week, you're not going to get 40 hours of productive work from them. You're just not. Believe it or not, getting 25 hours of real productive work in a 40 hour work week is pretty normal. People don't really work productively for 8 hours straight. To some extent, the time wasting can be beneficial. It can let people recharge a little and talk to each other. Sometimes when you're having a hard time figuring something out, it's helpful to take a break. Having a little chit-chat with your coworkers can lead to better teamwork and collaboration. Sometimes you get things like, Employee A and Employee B have been working on similar problems, and only when they have some down-time for a casual chat do they realize that they can help each other solve the problem.

      I honestly think that many businesses focus too much on squeezing productivity out of people. They'd do better to focus on hiring good people, treating those people well, and letting those people motivate themselves.

    31. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That's basically agile development right there. Personally I prefer kanban when doing repetitive or menial work like bug fixing. The 15 min meeting every day helps me focus a bit better and forces me to actually plan my work week. I work in a highly distributed team and have only met my co-workers a few times the past year so the meetings and all through lync.

      Besides, even though management aren't super interested in bug fixing it gives them a great opportunity for a little "rule by walking". Just having some of the company's top managers drop by from time to time is a great motivator.

    32. Re:Daily reports by HnT · · Score: 1

      This is absolutely horrible and I shudder to think that this was suggested AND got up to Score 5 on /.

      --
      "Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet." - Mark Twain
    33. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You're making the assumption that most of these questions are the same.

    34. Re:Daily reports by slycendice · · Score: 1

      Maybe you should learn to talk faster

    35. Re:Daily reports by Billly+Gates · · Score: 2

      Try working in a call center? You get 1 to 3 second mental breaks for calls and a flag pops up on your managers screen if you take more than 3 seconds! The result is insane productivity.

      Why cant other workers endure what I had? If you make 3x as much your manager should know if you waste your time in meetings

    36. Re:Daily reports by Grishnakh · · Score: 3, Insightful

      If his job is anything like the last job I had, there's no place to put a door that locks, because he's in an "open work area", which upper management has decreed because it "improves collaboration". Basically, the OP needs to stop complaining about his situation, and spin it to his bosses in a new way: that he's spending 4 hours a day "collaborating" with other teams about work to be done, and then spending 1 hour/day actually working. They'll probably give him a giant raise when they see this.

    37. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I think you're being a bit hard on the manager he did just increase this guys productivity by 16%

    38. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Every day, each employee e-mails a short report of what s/he did that day. It doesn't take too long, and it encourages mutual accountability, even if only a few co-workers read them regularly.

      Having escaped from a company which did this, I can assure you that this is a HORRIBLE idea. Great in practice, but very open to abuse by anti-social yet control-freak managers. A "project blog" would be a more worthwhile replacement which also encourages accountability.

      Before you say that _any_ idea is open to abuse by such types: A normal manager would actually come and manage (or micro-manage, if he's not really good) in person. Daily reports allows the anti-social type of IT manager to nitpick at everything you have done or not done. I do not intend to work (or stay) at a company which institutes such bureaucratic nightmares. Better a daily meeting or a project blog than a daily report...

    39. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This is a good way to get good people to look else wheres.

      The best way to motivate your employees is to treat them fairly, equally, give them challenging work once in a while, nd reward them when appropriate.
      For me, the best reward would be something like time off for bringing a project in ahead of schedule, under budget, etc.

    40. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      To state the obvious, people make 3 times as much because they have a skill that is worth 3 times as much and/or are 3 times harder to replace. Call centers can abuse their employees for maximum productivity because:

      - turnover is largely irrelevant (short "come up to speed" time)
      - easy to replace workers

      The more valuable you are, the less they can abuse you because:
      - they probably spent a lot of money recruiting you
      - there is a significant investment in time with you learning their system
      - depending on situation, you can get another gig by the end of the week which gives you the powerful options of telling them to go pound sand and finding a better job elsewhere

    41. Re:Daily reports by Anrego · · Score: 1

      My gut says even that approach wouldn't work.. as SAPs UI is highly dynamic (read: random) and inconsistent.

      It baffles me that SAP is as popular as it is. I have yet to hear anyone who actually uses it say anything more flattering than "it's a huge piece of junk". Entire companies have gone bankrupt trying to implement it (seriously), it adds significant overhead to just about everything, and while I assume it must provide _some_ kind of value to someone.. it's certainly not to the peons who have to actually use the damn thing.

    42. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You're in IT but you can't automate paperwork.... A little bash script and I've got a daily report.

      Uh, if I was your supervisor and you handed me a bash script output file as your daily report and thought you were impressing me, you'd be dead wrong. At that point I'd be questioning why I'm paying a human to do your (clearly and obviously autonomous) job.

      Sorry, but there are certain times when I want a human to actually do work. Spending a whopping 10 minutes writing up a daily report would be one of them.

    43. Re:Daily reports by jrumney · · Score: 1

      I think the GP's point is: how motivating is it to be writing "no progress today" reports to your team every day when you've been poring tirelessly over screeds of hand written assembly code all day?

    44. Re:Daily reports by HornWumpus · · Score: 1

      Not been my experience. Only benefit I've ever seen is cross management. i.e. The manager is clueless and teammates do the managers job in scrum.

      A better solution is getting a clueful manager. WTF is he doing for his money?

      Daily reports should be through the project management/bug tracking system. If you force me regurgitate the data already in the system I'll write a report out of project management and bug tracking to generate the e-mails automatically. I'll share the report with the team. Daily progress e-mails are going to be obvious form letters, even to a manager.

      --
      John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
    45. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Also, there should be no judgement on the report contents, or punishment for not doing them. Instead, offer small rewards or incentives for actually completing them regularly.

      Last time I worked for a company that made claims about no judgments, or no rankings on whatever; they turned around and did exactly that.

    46. Re:Daily reports by Frankie70 · · Score: 2

      Every day, each employee e-mails a short report of what s/he did that day. It doesn't take too long, and it encourages mutual accountability, even if only a few co-workers read them regularly.

      Yes - that would be a great incentive. In most of my jobs, I used to think - if only they gave me the permission to write daily reports, I would have been working twice as hard & twice as good.

    47. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Telling others what I will be doing in the future (because they asked): 4 hours.

      That's your manager's fucking job.

    48. Re:Daily reports by Macgrrl · · Score: 3, Insightful

      TL:DR beyond first paragraph. I feel much the same way about time sheets. I really hate having to justify every minute of every day. Some days' are more productive than others, sometimes letting stuff percolate in my head is the most productive thing I can be doing, but it's hard to attribute to a specific project code.

      I also get frustrated with companies that expect you to fill in time sheets at 100% utilization against billable work. When do they think admin and training gets done? I'm more effective if I can spend time planning out and prioritizing my workload, but it takes time.

      --
      Sara
      Designer, Gamer, Macgrrl in an XP World
    49. Re:Daily reports by HornWumpus · · Score: 1

      The bash script listed the issues resolved in bug tracking and project management the previous day. You know the real work an IT worker does?

      The real question: Why is this PHB incapable of looking in bug tracking and project management for himself? Is he really that stupid? He wants daily reports? I guess he really is that stupid. How much is AC making and why haven't we fired his non-managing ass yet? Somewhere there is a McDonalds that needs a night crew chief.

      --
      John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
    50. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Let me summarize: Doesn't work well in a team environment

    51. Re:Daily reports by jon3k · · Score: 1

      Honestly, if I sent that example to my peers and my boss, they would laugh me out of the room.

    52. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      LOL, Best troll EVA!!!!

    53. Re:Daily reports by Patch86 · · Score: 1

      That sounds crazy. I'm one of the guys from "the other department" who is always requesting things of coders. But I never go to the coders directly- company policy. I go to their managers. Their managers then dish out the work to their teams as required.

      You know, management doing some managing. Odd concept, I know.

      Did you ask your manager for a breakdown of what he does all day?

    54. Re:Daily reports by chthon · · Score: 1

      The problem with expensive software:

      1. It gets sold to and bought by management
      2. Because it is expensive, management does not want to hear that they made the wrong decision and threw away money
      3. Management does not use the expensive software themselves
      4. Only the people who use it know how bad the software is, but they cannot reverse the decision

      I have another, less known example: Continuus/CM/Synergy. A VCS which is very expensive, and needs expensive servers to run on, but which has been surpassed in capacity by open source version control and issue systems a long time ago.

    55. Re:Daily reports by TheSpoom · · Score: 1

      This is a horrible idea for engineering. It will highlight those who are good at marketing, no more, no less. This is not the metric you want to use for engineers.

      --
      It's better to vote for what you want and not get it than to vote for what you don't want and get it.
      - E. Debs
    56. Re:Daily reports by Anrego · · Score: 1

      I have another, less known example: Continuus/CM/Synergy. A VCS which is very expensive, and needs expensive servers to run on, but which has been surpassed in capacity by open source version control and issue systems a long time ago.

      Throw clearcase and (ir)Rational Rhapsody into that pile as well.

      The motto should be "tools you succeed not because of, but inspite of!"

    57. Re:Daily reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      How is this an incentive?!? "As a reward for doing lots of hard work, here's some more paperwork. Remember, the more work you do, the more paperwork reward you get." It doesn't matter if it's a short 3 minute thing to be done, you're rewarding people who work hard with more work, that's all there is to it. It doesn't encourage accountability, it encourages people taking credit for as much as they humanly can.

      Because we know EXACTLY what direction this will go in the long run. Your daily reports for however long will all average to essentially the same. Now if you have a few days slower, either because you're sick and not up to par, slow day, or a pile of weird problems came up that take forever to fix... well know management is going to come down on you like a ton of bricks.

      This is one thing I've noticed about pretty much everywhere I've worked. Management LOVES using negative reinforcement, and never positive reinforcement (ie: always the stick, never the carrot). If you're doing awesome, they just ignore you to continue being awesome. The second you screw up, they jump on you like a pack of starving rats on a free meal.

      tl;dr: POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT! I've seen time and again places that advertise positive reinforcement, places that have promised it, but in the end... negative reinforcement is far easier and cheaper, so that's what happens.

    58. Re:Daily reports by strikethree · · Score: 2

      Honestly, I do not see what the daily reports thing is about.

      When I have been in supervisory or management positions, I always had things that I (the department) needed done. Being intimately familiar with what needed to get done, I would always know what the progress was when it was important to know it.

      I would get this information by speaking to the people who were working on those tasks. Usually, it was just a word or two in passing that might escalate to more in depth discussions if needed.

      And of course, these types of interactions would occur with the person/people who were my bosses. Actually, anyone who had a stake in whatever it was my department was doing had an open window into the process. Communication (and trust) is key.

      I did see some other departments in the same organization go to the daily report thing. Utterly absurd. It is not real communication, it is lies through summary.

      Dave

      --
      "Someone needs to talk to the tree of liberty about its ghoulish drinking problem." by ohnocitizen
    59. Re:Daily reports by nine-times · · Score: 1

      When you were working at your call center, did you have to figure out anything clever or do anything creative? Did you have to focus deeply on a problem and develop a new solution?

      Generally speaking, if you need people to do something mindless and mechanical, you can push them harder and get increased productivity. Even with that, though, it's deceptive. If you push someone to work all day long without breaks, day in and day out, sooner or later you get diminishing returns. It depends on the kind of work, but making someone work 10 hours without a break might result in so many mistakes that the last 3 hours are just redoing the work of the prior 4 hours which was done improperly. In other words, forcing people to work twice as long does not result in twice as much work, and more work doesn't always mean more productivity.

      But all of those are vague generalities. A bigger issue is that when you get into more complex work, it's harder to say what's a "waste of time". I won't tell the whole story, but just as an example, I once worked at a helpdesk where someone almost got into trouble because he wasn't closing as many tickets per hour as others on the team. Then they guy went on vacation and tickets/hour of everyone else on the team dropped. Apparently the "poor performer" had been helping to manage the team and keeping everyone in line, helping teammates with more difficult tickets, etc. He was more than earning his salary, but the metrics just didn't capture it.

  5. You answered yourself by Multiplicity · · Score: 1

    With both teams, we have guns

    What better incentive than that?

  6. In house escort service by Rivalz · · Score: 5, Funny

    Not the best for productivity but best incentive that works for Secret service agents, presidents, politicians and ceo's.

    1. Re:In house escort service by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      In house escort service . . . Not the best for productivity but best incentive that works for Secret service agents, presidents, politicians and ceo's.

      What if their company actually has some women on the task force? The list you have here is currently at 95%-99% male dominated.

      There might actually be a few women on the development team.

    2. Re:In house escort service by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Do you really think women don't want a good lay now and again too?

    3. Re:In house escort service by Grishnakh · · Score: 1

      There's nothing sexist about his non-serious off-color comment. There are escort services for women, you know (which provide well-muscled men for them to spend time with). There's lots of older women that use these services, probably because their husbands have gotten fat and bald and aren't interested in sex any more or depend on Viagra to get it up.

    4. Re:In house escort service by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      A scandal in Sydney AUS, in about 2000 during the Olympiad and dot-com boom, was that an IT firm did have a company account at the local brothel. Why the shock and horror, I don't know. It was legal and no different to the guys attending the brothel themselves.

  7. Money by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

    $ = Money

    1. Re:Money by tomhath · · Score: 1

      Yes. Mod parent up, they're not working for fun. Would you ask the same question on how to motivate salesmen? Sheesh.

    2. Re:Money by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Money. It's about the money. Real money - cash or stocks that can be sold that day.

      Key word: that day.

      You know what an option that's nominally $10 in-the-money is actually worth if the company's privately-held and management is unwilling to put its money where its mouth is and buy back the shares upon exercise?

      Wrong, not $10. Wrong, not $0. It's worth less than zero. If you exercise, you get all the risks of being a shareholder, and without liquidity, your capital's tied up forever.

    3. Re:Money by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You know, it sounds like a bad attitude rant but, you're right.
      Because at the end of the day, you have to do your best to provide for you future (sos you don't
      become one of those 47%ers and it's not likely we become one of the 1%ers)
      and your family's.

    4. Re:Money by LordLucless · · Score: 1

      Not so much.

      I mean, more money's never a good thing, but there are other good things too. For me, it's primarily time. A job with flexible working hours, that let's me start and leave an hour early is a good thing (I'm an early riser - I imagine others would prefer starting and finishing later). The ability to telecommute part time. Time off in lieu. Extra holidays.

      If I got offered either $250, or a day off, I'd take the day off. My finances aren't so tight that $250 is going to make a significant difference, but my time is tight enough that a day off would ($250 is roughly a day's pay, after tax, for me). Now, if you're talking significant money, that might be different, but that's not exactly like-for-like.

      --
      Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face
    5. Re:Money by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Thank you. Pay people what they feel they are worth (without bankrupting the company of course). Employees could then buy their own beanbag chairs and nerf guns if that's what they like.

  8. Its so easy . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Fire 'certified jerk' managers - that'll do wonders.

    1. Re:Its so easy . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      but but but... those are the ones in charge of EVERYONE!

    2. Re:Its so easy . by HornWumpus · · Score: 1

      Fire all the jerks. Jerk employees bring out the jerk in bosses. Guess who gets to identify the jerks?

      The problem is, often as not, the slackers have identified the workers as 'jerks'. He won't do my work again, what a jerk. etc You can't just vote on it.

      But for egregious cases, fire the jerks.

      --
      John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
    3. Re:Its so easy . by mythix · · Score: 1

      please come to my job and fire him... pretty please!

  9. It sounds like you have a lot of carrots already by Neil_Brown · · Score: 1

    assuming that pay is fair for the tasks in question. If you know who is "slacking off," is it worth talking to them, and find out why?

    Or are they actually have some valuable downtime, breaking up their day and giving them a chance to think and refresh?

  10. Autonomy, mastery, purpose by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I will skip the obvious free drinks/food/social events and financial incentives.

    When it comes to work, it is about this: Autonomy, mastery, purpose.
    Give everyone meaningful, important and challenging work, so that their head is just above the water.
    Let them be responsible for their work and reach the goal with their means and in their style as much as possible.
    Let them improve themselves by doing so, send them on courses as well.
    Automatise everything that can automated to get rid of repetitive, boring work.
    Optimise anything, and challenge people to go back to the beginning.
    Demand innovation, and allow time for it by doing "innovation time off" / "hack time" / 10 percent time.

    1. Re:Autonomy, mastery, purpose by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Automatise everything that can automated to get rid of repetitive, boring work.
      Optimise anything, and challenge people to go back to the beginning.
      Demand innovation, and allow time for it by doing "innovation time off" / "hack time" / 10 percent time.

      If they're goofing off on Slashdot, then they already have time to do that and they're not. That means for whatever reason, they don't give a shit.

      I got a feeling this company does something like reports for insurance companies implemented in COBOL or something equally boring.

      There's a lot more going on here than what the asker is saying.

    2. Re:Autonomy, mastery, purpose by fermion · · Score: 1
      I will add a couple things

      First, sometimes work needs to get done. If something has to be done, and management has chosen the person to do it, then that person should do it. Sometimes it has to be that simple. Good managers know how to assign work and get it done. If the work is not getting done, the fire the person who is not doing it. If the managers cannot allocate and insure completion of work, fire the managers. No one is irreplacable, and there is good deal of incentive when the people who are not doing work are not allowed to stay.

      Second, let people do the work and given them support. Sometimes people can get work done, sometimes they need help. If work is not getting done, given them help and make sure they understand it has to be done. If work is getting done, and they don't want help, leave them alone.

      Third, don't skimp on the money. For people who are doing work, given them more money. Plain and simple. A firm has to pay employes that provide value. Now, work is not just sitting at a desk and looking busy. There has to be objectives measure of what provides value to the firm, not just does the person always look busy and stays off personal websites. SOme people are highly efficient, some people work in bursts. Some people get a months worth of work done in three weeks. One of the biggest problems is that efficient people are penalized, while inefficient phrenetic people are promoted. No highly effective person is going to respond well to a firm that specializes in everyone looking busy. Productivity has to be prized.

      --
      "She's a scientist and a lesbian. She's not going to let it slide." Orphan Black
    3. Re:Autonomy, mastery, purpose by digitalhermit · · Score: 1

      Oh man, sorry, but screw that. I've been in IT for twenty years and I couldn't be less motivated by "autonomy, mastery, purpose". Seriously, if you're trying to find meaning and purpose in IT, you're looking in the wrong field. Sure, there's probably some strange Eastern or Existential philosophy that "carry on" and "work for the sake of work" somehow leads to meaning in life, but it ain't so.

      What will motivate me?

      Pay me.

      Other than that, my purpose and satisfaction in life has absolutely nothing to do with where I work.

    4. Re:Autonomy, mastery, purpose by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You make good points. Also, note that firing dead weight is a positive incentive -- if I am a good employee and see people I am annoyed at for not pulling their weight, this shows me management knows and cares.

    5. Re:Autonomy, mastery, purpose by hb253 · · Score: 1

      Not bad stuff.

      I would add:

      • - don't ship jobs overseas and ask me to train my replacement - that kills morale
      • - don't fire everyone and bring in starvation salary replacements with H1-B visas - that kills morale
      • - don't bring in "consulting" companies to analyze how you can cut costs and streamline. Listen to your own people.
      • - for a publicly traded company, don't kowtow to large investors looking for quarterly gains. If you find your company beholden in that way, then go private.

      -

      --
      Self awareness - try it!
    6. Re:Autonomy, mastery, purpose by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      When did 20% time become 10% time?

    7. Re:Autonomy, mastery, purpose by evil_aaronm · · Score: 1

      Pretty much this. I'd work 25 hours a day, skipping meals and bathroom breaks, if it's something that's challenging and interesting. Heck, I'd almost do it for free. The minute that reading slashdot is more interesting than my work, you've lost me.

      Give me a reason to come into the office - working with cool people on an interesting, useful project - and I don't need artificial incentives.

    8. Re:Autonomy, mastery, purpose by ATMAvatar · · Score: 1

      When the executive who just signed on with plans to leave in 6 months needs short-term productivity gains to pad his paycheck. Don't worry, though. The next guy will drop the last 10%.

      --
      "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
    9. Re:Autonomy, mastery, purpose by keytoe · · Score: 4, Insightful

      What will motivate me? Pay me. Other than that, my purpose and satisfaction in life has absolutely nothing to do with where I work.

      Wow, this made me sad. I'm sorry you haven't found a job that brings you personal joy and a feeling of accomplishment.

      Personally, I have been doing what I love since I was a child and figured out a way to make that my living. I couldn't be happier, and I don't feel like I'm begrudgingly trading in one third of my life for something as banal as money.

      I certainly understand your perspective and I'm sure that a majority of people in this world agree with you. It's just not a world view that sits well with me.

    10. Re:Autonomy, mastery, purpose by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      At least give credit when saying "Autonomy, mastery, purpose." It's from Dan Pink. Here's his TED talk. http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_pink_on_motivation.html

    11. Re:Autonomy, mastery, purpose by westlake · · Score: 1

      Give everyone meaningful, important and challenging work, so that their head is just above the water.

      Clients aren't coming to your shop to pay homage to the geek by offering him meaningful employment and an intellectual challenge. They are out shopping for practical solutions for their own home or business.

      Someone has to shovel the sludge.

      The FOSS zealot may argue that his program has all the "essential" features of its commercial rivals --- meaning all the fun stuff to write is in there somewhere ---no matter how poorly he understands the needs of the end user. No matter that his UI sucks rocks and his help system is worthless.

    12. Re:Autonomy, mastery, purpose by stephanruby · · Score: 3, Insightful

      First off, the free drinks and snacks are a good idea, but make sure those food items are healthy. Cut down on the sugar, the carbs, the caffeine, and the junk food (thought, do not get rid of the coffee machine, you do not want a revolt on your hands). Stock up on fresh fruits everyday. And get rid of cake day. Also, if your developers/ITs time is worth a lot of money to the company, make sure they work with the best equipment possible. Do the math and minimize the time they need to go home. Hire them a free concierge service and a free laundry service. Give them free dinners if they stay until 7 PM. Bring in subsidized car repairs, dentistry, hair cuts, remote grocery shopping, on site, to minimize the time they have to leave the company. Don't think of luxury items. Think of the every day mundane necessary things that we all have to deal with anyway.

      Also, be prepared to lead by example yourselves. If IT sees some of the top brass only showing up at 10 am and leaving at 4 pm (even if they have supposedly a good reason that others do not know about), don't expect any of them to put in 60 hours a week (I know not everyone does that, but the few that do can be a huge demoralizers to the rest of the company).

      Then, read books like "Mythical Man Month" by Brooks and "Peoplesoft" by De Marco. Make sure the entire management reads those books. Also, read books by Edward Deming, who actually recommends not to pay people individual bonuses, but team/department bonuses instead. Paying bonuses for passing exams also sounds like a bad idea (since 90% of the technical exams out there have been gamed and the answers can easily be found on torrent sites, or can be purchased for $99)

      Promote from within, not necessarily from outside. Rotate people's roles. Do not overdo the praise and the flattery when we do something that you don't understand. We're not magicians, rock stars, or wizards. Conversely, learn a little bit about the complexity of software production and IT, so that's where my recommended reading list comes in. Behavior comes from belief. Belief comes from understanding. First, it's your understanding that needs to change, before you can even hope to change the underlying understandings and behaviors of others.

      Of course, not everyone will agree with my list of suggestions, nor will you be able to implement all of those ideas, and that's fine, hopefully, you'll be able to implement at least a few ideas from our different lists of suggestions.

    13. Re:Autonomy, mastery, purpose by HornWumpus · · Score: 1

      Most employees will lower their level of output to the lowest level that someone else is getting away with. Not all but most. It's an ugly, hard rule of human nature. If you filter a crowd down to only 'workers', they will be aware of that, and the rule will take affect again.

      Which is the main reason so many bosses expect people to 'look busy' all the time and part of why one bad person can fuck a team over in little time.

      --
      John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
    14. Re:Autonomy, mastery, purpose by Cederic · · Score: 2

      Thank you for skipping the whole mercenary financial reward basis for motivation.

      I'm fucked off with idiots claiming that finance is the primary incentive. Maybe in America where everyone's hung up on using personal wealth as a measure it is, but most people working in IT earn far above average wages, can easily lead "middle class" lifestyles (tending towards above that if everyone else in your country is piss-poor).

      So you have to look beyond the financial compensation and understand what people really value in their day to day roles. Sure, a nice bonus is always welcome, but letting people feel they have control over their working day, the chance to add value, the opportunities to improve and the prospects of progressing, that's what reduces churn in an organisation.

      Sure, some muppet down the road may offer 10-20% higher salaries. Unless you're on the breadline 10% just doesn't compensate for working for an utter cunt, and I know so many people that don't want the shit that comes with a 20% salary rise it's unreal. Everyone I work with could earn 20% more by joining a consultancy, working away from home four nights a week, never seeing their kids... It's not the fucking money.

    15. Re:Autonomy, mastery, purpose by SirVirtual · · Score: 1

      Why is this only a 2 ?!?! I've been in IT (mainframe computer programming for 15 years, networking / system administration another 15) and this "autonomy, mastery, purpose" sound nice...if one is new to the BS world of business. A-L-L IT people are good for (in the eyes of the MBA's) is being servants. Hell - my own boss, as well as others before, equate my work as "serving others'!! Sorry, M-O-N-EY......period!!

    16. Re:Autonomy, mastery, purpose by Sigg3.net · · Score: 1

      If happiness is important, do what makes you happy. Probably won't' make you rich, but at the end of my life I'd like to say that at least I lived.

      Work should be fun and meaningful.

      Atm, I study philosophy 100% while working every other weekend in tech support. It's fine as a temp situation.

  11. easy by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    rational and transparent decision making processes

    merit based rewards structure

    aggressive correction and eventual culling of counterproductive employees

    pay me enough that I can get my own massages, keep your stupid toys out of my office, and
    run an effective business

  12. Start with the basics by Nerdfest · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Good hardware, good monitors, good tools, allow them to pick some of their own (IDEs, OS, editors, etc). Keep up to date with technologies. Treat people like people, not "resources". After that, use some agile/XP principles like scrums to enable problems to be out in the open, and pair programming to get the weaker people improving. Give bonuses for outstanding quality and quantity of work. Listen to what people complain about and try to fix it.

    1. Re:Start with the basics by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Bonuses for individuals or for teams?

      This (OP) is a hard one because I'm unsure whether those teams will ever jell. I've seen what can happen with teams that lose their most, um, frictionate members and it is nice. On the other hand, I'd rather not force anyone to leave, it kind of destroys a lot of the fun. I've also heard it said that you have to find the right positions for people to get the best out of them. I'd like to learn more about that. Maybe it's their position in the team that reduces their motivation?

      What /is/ important for them? Is there a way to align that with what's important for the company (customer)?

      I'd ask them. And the team, just like Nerdfest.

      Maybe even "I'd like to see you more eagerly help customers get what they need. Is there anything I can do to help you feel enthusiastic about your work?"

    2. Re:Start with the basics by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Please not scrum. It's not only annoying and stupid but it also slows projects down. Basically what it does is moving responsibility from a PM onto the team members with regard to management work. Get a good PM and let the developers develop instead of losing time with kindergarden-level meetings. Plan well, include developers into planning and let them fucking do the job. Encourage them to communicate *when* it is necessary, don't force them to do it *every* day in pointless meetings.

      And the most important incentive is guess what: money. Of course, the working env. should be friendly and pleasant, but don't kid yourself about it: we work for the fucking money. We have bills to pay, families to sustain and so on. Any developer that says otherwise should work for free and see how that goes.

  13. two links for you... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    First watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc

    Then read this: http://www.netjeff.com/humor/item.cgi?file=DeveloperBees

  14. Motivation by anavictoriasaavedra · · Score: 5, Informative
    1. Re:Motivation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      http://dilbert.com/fast/2011-12-21

    2. Re:Motivation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I like the comments under the comics.

      Sadly, most people have no clue that PHB position sucks about 10 times any other position in the company:
      - suddenly you're accountable for 10x the number of projects, and yet you have a bunch of smart-asses as your team,
      - you're constantly overloaded, because guess-what: who does the jobs that nobody else finds appealing? PHB.
      - you still have exactly all of the problems that bother individual people on your team (stupid assigments, idiotic paperwork, people calling you all the time), now effectively x10. You can delegate about 50-75% of it down but you still end up with 2-5x what you used to have.
      - your salary still sucks (in fact there may be people on your team getting paid more than you).

      So, for those of you unmotivated grunts, put yourself for 5 seconds in your PHB position and then start thinking why they are grumpy all the time. Your PHB looks at you as a green smartass who basically thinks he knows everything already, thinks they are constantly underpaid, and constantly complains about life, universe, and everything. It's hard to resist being sarcastic when you see that (see the comics above).

      Open your eyes: the PHBs find Dilbert comics brutally true because they demonstrate how inconsiderate and incompetent most employees are.

    3. Re:Motivation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      No Shit.

      When the reward for good work is more work. The incentive is to do less work.

    4. Re:Motivation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      http://dilbert.com/fast/2011-12-21
      Oooh, did you know about fast Dilbert? It's this great new service which allows you to get Dilbert fast! Except it isn't new.

  15. "Big Brother" them to death! by pro151 · · Score: 0

    A company I am more than a little familiar with requires the entire I.T. staff to account for every minute that they are on the clock via their Electronic ticket system. Now there is some motivation to give a shit and always perform at your best each and every day.

  16. Why are you asking us instead of them? by michael_rendier · · Score: 1

    First thing you're gonna have to do is ask your employees...there is no step two...

    --
    There are three kinds of people in the world. Those that can count, and those that can't.
    1. Re:Why are you asking us instead of them? by Nerdfest · · Score: 1

      Sometimes they want ponies.

    2. Re:Why are you asking us instead of them? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sometimes they want ponies.

      Best resignation letter ever.

  17. one word: blowjobs by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    it works for marriages, why not work?

    1. Re:one word: blowjobs by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Geeze! I already have to kiss management's asses, now I have to give them head as well?!?

    2. Re:one word: blowjobs by Grishnakh · · Score: 1

      I think he was suggesting blowjobs for the employees. However, if he's talking about having management provide them, that's a big no-go. I doubt many people here would be interested in getting serviced like that by their manager. What a horrible thought.

    3. Re:one word: blowjobs by Cederic · · Score: 1

      You kidding? I mentally maintain a list of "people more senior than me I'd like to shag".

      Admittedly it's a short list. So much for female equality in the boardroom.

  18. Planned work. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Just make sure that important work is scheduled and followed up on. The thing that can lead to inertia in IT is lack of focus and some sort of direction. Some people thrive in that situation and just pick up whatever needs to be done, but most people just zone off to make time pass by. More incentives will just make the ones already doing their work get more benefits while it will not make the slackers pick up anything important.

  19. Tangible Property for Admins by detritus. · · Score: 1

    Since no one has suggested it, I'll throw this out there:

    What about rack space? Hey, if my shit goes down too or needs maintenance, I'm going to go out of my way to be there after hours, and perhaps catch up on a little work while waiting for my stuff to install/replicate.

  20. The non-innovative answer: Use the stick by dkleinsc · · Score: 2, Informative

    If you've given people everything they could reasonably ask for, including profit share, and they still aren't performing, then chances are they're just lazy. Solution: 1. Make it clear (privately) that they are underperforming, 2. if they are still underperforming 3-6 months later, let them know that their job is at stake, and 3. if they're still underperforming 3-6 months after that, fire them.

    There are some people who will want to contribute and provide useful effort with the appropriate carrot. But if that doesn't work, use the stick.

    --
    I am officially gone from /. Long live http://www.soylentnews.com/
    1. Re:The non-innovative answer: Use the stick by turkeyfeathers · · Score: 1

      Or just fire them now and outsource.

    2. Re:The non-innovative answer: Use the stick by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If you want to end up with a pile of poorly-written scrap. Half our business is from people who outsourced their projects and then realized it was going to take a team of real software professionals to recover anything from what their outsourcing partners delivered.

    3. Re:The non-innovative answer: Use the stick by pla · · Score: 4, Insightful

      If you've given people everything they could reasonably ask for, including profit share, and they still aren't performing, then chances are they're just lazy.

      Not everyone can count as one of the stars. Yes, he should ditch the outright slackers; but the guys who just come in to do a fair day's work to get paid and go home? Sorry, but in any organization, they will form the vast majority of the workforce. Unless your entire organization can live with a "team" of one superstar, you just don't have the option of having all stars.

      As for reaching for the stick to try make people into something they can never become, it will just hurt morale for no real gain. Don't go that route. I've seen it tried several times, and it always backfires.

      Do your best to keep people happy, keep them wanting to come to work every day, and just stoically accept the fact that over half the team really doesn't give a shit outside "get the job done, get paid".

    4. Re:The non-innovative answer: Use the stick by dkleinsc · · Score: 1

      Right, but the people his question asked to motivate were not those kind of people, they were:
      " Sometimes it is easy to say that there isn't too much work on and goof off and read Slashdot all day."

      Hence my response.

      --
      I am officially gone from /. Long live http://www.soylentnews.com/
    5. Re:The non-innovative answer: Use the stick by Kjella · · Score: 1

      Do your best to keep people happy, keep them wanting to come to work every day, and just stoically accept the fact that over half the team really doesn't give a shit outside "get the job done, get paid".

      And most the other half doesn't give a shit outside "get the job done well, get a pay raise or a promotion". Seriously most people are at work for the money, either money now or money later. The rest is about creating intangible benefits that aren't easy to compare to other companies, if it was only paychecks it'd be a cutthroat transparent market. But if you make it so employees like their job including all the team building and other benefits a lot of them will stay on because they don't know if they'll like their next one or not. It's always hard to leave a job where you feel well, no matter how much greener the pastures look on the other side of the fence.

      --
      Live today, because you never know what tomorrow brings
  21. More money by Chemisor · · Score: 1

    Give out bonuses based on performance, however measured. It works for the boss, so it's likely to work just as well for the employee.

    1. Re:More money by vlm · · Score: 1

      Give out bonuses based on performance, however measured. It works for the boss, so it's likely to work just as well for the employee.

      Top performer gets to pick who does their:

      corporate massage day

      Seriously though my favorite incentive program is called money. Another thing that works well is a professional relationship... Tell me what to do, when adequate progress is made I'll be free for self directed professional development...

      --
      "Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
  22. Need indivudual rewards by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    > Management is being more proactive in making sure the work is shared equally, .... have cake day, corporate massage day, bonuses for exams and profit share, but what is out there that is innovative and helps build a great workplace?"

    Those are all group rewards, not individual rewards. Your slackers probably get more massages and cake than the hard workers, because the slackers are away from their work, and the workers are too busy working to enjoy the rewards.

    I was at a place that had massages once. You know who got them all? Execs, their secretaries, HR people, and slackers. It seems that I was always stuck with a "mission critical urgent bug-fix" whenever the masseuse was in.

    You need to find a way to reward individual contributions... which is very hard in a "team" setting.

    1. Re:Need indivudual rewards by Amouth · · Score: 1

      It's not that hard in a "team" setting if they are doing proper performance reviews and individual goal setting/growth plans. Too many companies (mine included) completely skim over this step of interaction with their employees. In the end it is in the companies own interest to know what is in your interests so that they can be aligned as much as possible, but that concept seems lost on current employers.

      --
      '...if only "Jumping to a Conclusion" was an event in the Olympics.'
    2. Re:Need indivudual rewards by vlm · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Your slackers probably get more massages and cake than the hard workers

      What makes it even worse is increasing workplace friction. Admin's a reactive job so they've got little/no control over their schedule, so they cannot get a massage perhaps because they're comp timing it or went home early because they've got a 11pm rollout scheduled, devs a proactive job so they can stop at any moment and get a massage. So you've just strongly preferentially rewarded one business group over another, increasing bad feelings. Even worse the most stressed group isn't getting the stress reducer. That's just not gonna end well.

      The only thing worse than preferential rewards is out of the office stuff. My life is overscheduled/stressful enough, mandatory bar night/movie night/team building night/WTF night is just going to piss me off.

      --
      "Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
    3. Re:Need indivudual rewards by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I see you have made this into a sysadmin vs dev thing. Which honestly is just wrong. The jobs are not comparable and the stress of a dev is less about reactionary event but more about "how am I going to make crazy insane feature X (which takes 3 weeks to code) work in under 3 days?" -- clearly you've never seen a "death march" to release day either. No one's job is better than the other.

    4. Re:Need indivudual rewards by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      My life is overscheduled/stressful enough, mandatory bar night/movie night/team building night/WTF night is just going to piss me off.

      This. Mandatory=paid, otherwise you are stealing from your employees while at the same time pretending that you are doing them a favor.

    5. Re:Need indivudual rewards by dbIII · · Score: 1

      The devs often drag the admins into the deathmarch and the admins usually have to clean up poor dev decisions made in that situation under extreme time pressure when it comes to implementation. It's not just the devs that suffer more in that situation.

  23. So says Alice ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "The government makes rectangular pieces of paper ..." - http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2012-08-20/

  24. Your work is boring and unchallenging. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting

    You want to know why folks work their asses off to create shit for free and goof off at work when they're being paid for it?

    1. The free shit they do is shit they find interesting. Whether the programming is interesting or challenging or they are wrting software that solves a problem that means something to them.

    2. The work they are doing for your company is either unchallenging, does something meaningless in their opinion, or both.

    All the high pay, pizzas, games, massages, or any other motivational tricks you got from a book (or worse from a know-nothing managment consultant) will not work - at least over the long term.

    Here's what you do: start hiring entry level people to learn the system. The entry levels will find that work challenging and rewarding for a couple of years. You can pay them shit.

    The current crop? Start letting some of them go. The best and brightest have already left.

    That's all you can do.

    1. Re:Your work is boring and unchallenging. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And then congratulate yourself for keeping the cycle going. Don't forget the big bonus you'll (not) receive for keeping the payroll low and churning through cogs while the company continues to tread water (if you're lucky).

      Getting rid of some deadwood is necessary, and yes it's usually from the older crop. Getting new people in is usually a good thing as they have fresh eyes and new perspectives. The advocacy of wholesale chop and grind however is short sighted and ultimately self destructive to a company that's got a substantial investment in tech or, god forbid, is a tech company.

    2. Re:Your work is boring and unchallenging. by sethstorm · · Score: 2

      Mod parent up, mod grandparent poster down.

      This cycle started in the 1980s when companies discovered how to break the unwritten contract between the company and worker. Respect and goodwill, things that would solve most of the problems, went out the window completely by the early 2000's.

      One could be offered every single benefit possible, while the lack of mutual respect and goodwill between employer and employee negates those benefits. Companies that fit this profile talk more about benefits up front versus those that choose to reveal those details later.

      The brightest won't stay anywhere that maintains(or creates) abnormally high churn. The only people that will stay are less competent people that tolerate the pain or like the arrangement of the benefit package.

      --
      Twitter supports and protects racists - by smearing their critics with the "Hate Speech" label.
    3. Re:Your work is boring and unchallenging. by Guru+Jim · · Score: 2

      So retention and turnover isn't really that much of a problem for us. We have our 1st and 3rd employees still with us from 12 years ago. They are the smartest guys in the room. We really try to make the work as challenging as possible and we listen to our workers. We started out as a straight outsourced IT department, but two of the team were really interested in dev work, so we got a couple of small projects and came up with a biggish internal project we could manage ourselves and we now have a thriving dev team who build some pretty cool stuff.

    4. Re:Your work is boring and unchallenging. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And you are obviously management or just suck as a tech. What an idiot.

    5. Re:Your work is boring and unchallenging. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm sorry but being paid shit is never an incentive. This is among the more disrespectful, greedy, selfish, arrogant, and repulsive posts in this thread and it's being modded +3 anything-other-than funny is testament to the fact that Dilbert is not fiction.

    6. Re:Your work is boring and unchallenging. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This . . . This is so depressing.

    7. Re:Your work is boring and unchallenging. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      So.... that's your incentive program?

      Fire all of the loyal employees that have been with the company for years. Instead, hire a pile of fresh college grads for minimum wage. And once you've bled as much as you can out of them for a few years, rinse and repeat.

      Boy, your company sounds awesome to work for.

  25. Too much turnover? by zephvark · · Score: 3, Insightful

    >Management is being more proactive...

    Ok, you're a marketing person. I'll forgive you. But never say proactive again.

    >We already have cake day, corporate massage day

    Your company obviously has too much turnover and you're trying desperately to reduce it. The problem is not going to be that you don't have enough cake days. The problem is going to be that it apparently sucks to work at your company. Cut down on the number of mandatory meetings, make sure everybody has a decent computer, get the damned boss to stop subverting the code check-in system, and... your programmers don't actually need to wear suits, do they? Stop that.

    1. Re:Too much turnover? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      All good ideas. Also, if turnover is a problem, salary may be a problem. I think there's a general belief (or fact, depending on your perspective) that if you want to move up or make more money in the world of IT especially, you build a resume, and then move somewhere else that will hire you at at a significant increase to your current salary. Why would anyone work 10 years at one company and get a 5% or so increase in pay every year when they can change employers every 2-3 with a 20%+ bonus? If your employees know that their work will be rewarded with more than just a cost of living increase, you might find that they'll put a lot more effort into day-to-day activities. How much is a great team worth to you? How much does a poor team cost? Throwing a massage day at an employee isn't going to do much if he/she feels undervalued, and sometimes it'll make things worse as it feels like an empty gesture or waste of money that they could be spending on their own.

    2. Re:Too much turnover? by menno_h · · Score: 3, Funny

      > your programmers don't actually need to wear suits, do they?

      Suit in the jargon file:
      suit: n.
      1. Ugly and uncomfortable ‘business clothing’ often worn by non-hackers. Invariably worn with a ‘tie’, a strangulation device that partially cuts off the blood supply to the brain. It is thought that this explains much about the behavior of suit-wearers. Compare droid.

      2. A person who habitually wears suits, as distinct from a techie or hacker. See pointy-haired, burble, management, Stupids, SNAFU principle, PHB, and brain-damaged.

      --
      AccountKiller
    3. Re:Too much turnover? by turkeydance · · Score: 1

      just as education is not training, incentives are not motivation. motivation is internal. incentives are attempts to uncover that. when someone does something for money, that's a good start.

    4. Re:Too much turnover? by Guru+Jim · · Score: 1

      Sorry, already answered turnover in another post, but 2 of our guys are taking some of their long service leave. The average length of tenure here is just over 4 years, and that is with hiring 3 new guys in Februrary this year for a contract that we won. I think this is pretty good for an IT company.

    5. Re:Too much turnover? by c_sd_m · · Score: 1

      When you work in a crappy company, stuff like cake day just becomes ironic. I could deal with crappy jobs that just were crappy but if they were talking themselves up and doing a bunch of team building stuff, management came off as clueless and deluded about the actual problems. The more clueless management seems, the more time I spent looking for a new gig. If it got bad enough, I quit and figured it wouldn't take much to find something better.

    6. Re:Too much turnover? by HarrySquatter · · Score: 1

      Yep sounds like a company run by people thinking Office Space is a management tutorial. The company I left last year was doing the same. Even so much as trying out Hawaiian shirt days and ice cream socials nonsense. You could tell they were getting desperate. The funniest was the motivational posters that had pictures of people who had just been fired or quit a few months before this.

  26. MONEY! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Yes really. More money!

    That's why we work for you. You pay us. Period. You want to give more? PAY US MORE!

  27. Flexible working hours by A+Friendly+Troll · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Give them flexible working hours.

    There's nothing worse than coming to work in the morning and trying to "work" after your kid puked the entire night and you haven't had half an hour of solid sleep, or if you have a splitting headache that just refuses to go away on its own, but would likely go away if you could nap or walk for a couple of hours (depends on the person).

    IT is a line of work where flexible hours are possible. Give them that, but still keep work clocked every week.

    1. Re:Flexible working hours by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      ...but still keep work clocked every week.

      Sorry. Make me clock my time and I will look for another workplace. Some of my best thinking happens away from the office. When I arrive at work the next day the tasks scheduled for the day only take 2-3 hours because it is simply a transfer from my memory to the keyboard. I should be able to leave afterwards in the absence of any outstanding tasks. Meanwhile, a co-worker cannot handle the simplest of tasks so their supervisor asks me to take over that part of the co-worker's task. Clock my time, fsck you!

    2. Re:Flexible working hours by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Give them flexible working hours. ... Give them that, but still keep work clocked every week.

      Or, better yet, measure the amount of work they do instead?
      There is probably at least a few employees who can do a full day of productive work in 4-5 hours. Forcing them to sit out 8 hours, even on flexible basis, is very discouraging. Establish a reasonable goal per week, and have them do that in however many hours it takes.

      There are also a few employees (without families) who may prefer to do less efficient work for 50 hours a week. I personally know a couple of people like that.

    3. Re:Flexible working hours by A+Friendly+Troll · · Score: 1

      There is probably at least a few employees who can do a full day of productive work in 4-5 hours. Forcing them to sit out 8 hours, even on flexible basis, is very discouraging. Establish a reasonable goal per week, and have them do that in however many hours it takes.

      I agree. I have 4-5 hours of productivity myself, and the rest of my time is just spent pretending to work or reading tech sites because that's how things go; management doesn't understand the amount of mental burnout that happens in IT.

      If you need me to do something an hour before I'm supposed to go home, more often than not I will fuck things up severely. I'm done, my brain is pudding. I will make mistakes that could be published on TheDailyWTF. I will spend that hour doing something that I'd be able to do properly in five minutes next morning.

      Still, flexible working hours are one step towards changing things around. I worked 9-5 at my last job for a while, then I slowly got them to let me eat at the office and go home early, then work flexible hours, then I got them to let me work from home occasionally, and finally, they just gave me "things to do this week" and I was free to do those things however I wanted to. That was especially nice during the winter, when days are short; I'd spend mornings and early afternoons walking around, cooking, etc, then working from home in the evening, being more productive than ever.

      I quit because management changed. While they were willing to let me continue working on my own terms, I realized their business ideas were a colossal fuckup and I was on a sinking boat. Now I'm negotiating flexible working hours again and I don't doubt I'll be where I was in a year, maybe two. (The boat sank, by the way.)

    4. Re:Flexible working hours by Macgrrl · · Score: 1

      Intentionally or not, the typical management response to saying you could complete your allocated tasks in 4-5 hours daily is to give you more tasks.

      To some extent the trade off of being paid a higher salary is supposed to be that you are more efficient at the task and can generate a greater output than someone on a lower salary.

      Being paid by output make working more efficiently beneficial for the worker (ability to generate more income in the same amount of time). Being paid hourly make working more efficiently beneficial for the employer (more output from a fixed number of hours).

      --
      Sara
      Designer, Gamer, Macgrrl in an XP World
  28. Investing in IT guys by Compaqt · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Although a lot of companies would like to invest in their people, and give them incentives and so forth, one big problem in the IT arena is:

    How to should you invest in your workers? I.e., send them to training. Or even let them just educate themselves about Java/Hadoop/NoSQL/whatever without working on a project for a few months. That in itself is great incentive instead of focusing on billable hours all the time.

    The desire of the company is that you're investing in the future of the developer. But the problem is once they're all well and trained, they can simply jump ship, and the company isn't able to recoup their investment.

    So what ends up happening is companies don't provide training, leading to the phenomenon of IT people having to read 2 hours of material every night just to keep up.

    --
    I'm not a lawyer, but I play one on the Internet. Blog
    1. Re:Investing in IT guys by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Although a lot of companies would like to invest in their people, and give them incentives and so forth, one big problem in the IT arena is:

      How to should you invest in your workers? I.e., send them to training. Or even let them just educate themselves about Java/Hadoop/NoSQL/whatever without working on a project for a few months. That in itself is great incentive instead of focusing on billable hours all the time.

      The desire of the company is that you're investing in the future of the developer. But the problem is once they're all well and trained, they can simply jump ship, and the company isn't able to recoup their investment.

      So what ends up happening is companies don't provide training, leading to the phenomenon of IT people having to read 2 hours of material every night just to keep up.

      People would not leave an organization where training time is allowed if the workplace was a good workplace. People leave workplaces because the workplace is terrible or at least not optimal for that individual. Managers have forgotten how to manage people. Coercing your staff will only encourage the good people to leave. My last workplace said training time was important and provided training materials, however, there was never any time to make productive use of the training material. It was in the top five complaints from employees every year.

    2. Re:Investing in IT guys by vlm · · Score: 2

      But the problem is once they're all well and trained, they can simply jump ship, and the company isn't able to recoup their investment.

      I call bogus. I worked at a place in the 90s that was very proud of sending all their techs to at least one class of their choice per year... they were so proud they pounded it into everyone's head that you could leave.... but you couldn't find another place that'll send you to a new class every year, so you're better off staying. Its like an extra weeks vacation, sorta? The financial aspect is a one week generic class usually didn't cost much more than a weeks salary or so. Its financially not any worse than just offering up an extra weeks vacation. Most places are not run close enough to the bone that 1/52nd of the dudes salary will make or break the hiring decision anyway. When you factor in some expensive overhead and health insurance, a cheap class is like 1% of total annual costs...

      In comparison to classes, they actually had teeth for tuition reimbursement... you quit, they want the last six months money back.

      --
      "Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
    3. Re:Investing in IT guys by scamper_22 · · Score: 1

      What employee jumps ship from a well-run company filled with good training, professional development, pretty good pay, and stability?

      Sure, I *can* simply jump ship. But hey, I could do that now and the company isn't training me at all.

      All investment entails risk. Investing in your employees is no different. But engineers, like many professionals are not super-keen on jumping from a good ship just for good money... and we're really not going to jump ship from a good company to a bad one just for money.

      Somehow or another lawyers, doctors, accountants... every other field of professionals seems to have no problem training their workers and they are just as likely to jump ship.

  29. Culture Drives / Bonuses ... by __aajwxe560 · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I applaud the pro-active nature of the organization on this, and appreciate your efforts to have a strong preference of carrot over stick.

    I have been managing IT Operations teams for ~10yrs now (with a rooted background in SysAdmin), and more often than not, in my own experience, it is the organizational culture that often strongly correlates to the work output of a collective team. I have worked on companies that paid absolutely ass and were not overly generous with there employees, yet people understood the purpose, the mission, and their role, and gave 110%. I have worked at companies that were more than generous with payroll and side benefits, and folks slacked off.

    Without knowing you or your background (nor the respective company), I can say that folks are often cognizant of the extremes they can get away with at work. If you (or the company as a whole) conveys an easy-going atmosphere where even the slackers are well tolerated, well, water sinks to the lowest point. This can often be detrimental to others around them, as it results in "Well if they aren't going the extra mile, why should I?" I believe just about anyone who is reading this has had that very thought cross their mind at one point or another, and it can be a valid one. Giving someone free massages, or cupcakes, or even a hooker aren't exactly motivational items - actually, they work the other way, in that encouraging folks to "take a break" from things, these same folks who even when working you are suggesting aren't putting in a sound effort.

    Solution? Again, without know you or the org, do away with the massages, and most other extraordinary benefits that cost the company money, and instead convert this to regular financial bonus incentive. Make a big point on how performance relates to money, and more times than not, I find folks will go above and beyond to earn the extra incentive. You may have a few bad apples you clearly need the stick, but between the two, I'd suggest you may be on the way to success.

    Best of luck!

    1. Re:Culture Drives / Bonuses ... by Some+Bitch · · Score: 1

      Indeed, my favourite incentive has always been those rectangular vouchers the government prints that people let you swap for stuff.

    2. Re:Culture Drives / Bonuses ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This.

      The company that I work for has an incentive that is a straight percentage of gross revenue, albeit a small fractional percentage. Nothing is more motivating that a larger paycheck. I really do see the direct effects of my work in my pay.

      I've worked in a lot of IT environments that did things directly in support of Sales. I always ended up working crazy hours to get things done while the the Sales folks are home drinking beer, then somehow Sales gets the commission. From an IT perspective, this is really demotivating. When everyone shares in the success there is more of it.

  30. Mail Order Brides by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Sex is always a good incentive for IT types.

  31. Free lunch by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I have had many incentives thrown at me and I always liked the free lunch the best. And none of those toss me a wrapped sandwich lunches either. If your company is large enough, build a cafeteria.

  32. Ask Slashdot: Best Incentives For IT Workers? by bmo · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Best incentive of all:

    Treat your employees like the human beings they are and appreciate what they do for you, and pay them accordingly. The golden rule as applied to the workforce.

    It's not fucking rocket science.

    It's just that "human resources management" these days, at its core, treats employees as overhead and cost centers instead of how a business earns its money.

    --
    BMO

    1. Re:Ask Slashdot: Best Incentives For IT Workers? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      More than happy to do so.... when they start acting like adults. I inherited a staff of people with an attitude of entitlement that goes far and above anything reasonable. Get them to do anything? Hell no. I finally had to fire two of them, but that wasn't even enough. Unfortunately, this culture permeated the entire company. I finally gave up and quit. No one was held accountable for ANYTHING, except VPs. If a VP tried to hold one of their staff accountable, all that person had to do was run to the CEO and complain about stress.

    2. Re:Ask Slashdot: Best Incentives For IT Workers? by bmo · · Score: 1

      Here's a free clue.

      Treat people like adults and they'll act like adults. If they see you acting as if your shit doesn't stink but holding everyone accountable for the tiniest infraction, then you will be gamed.

      --
      BMO

    3. Re:Ask Slashdot: Best Incentives For IT Workers? by tgd · · Score: 1

      Treat your employees like the human beings they are and appreciate what they do for you, and pay them accordingly. The golden rule as applied to the workforce.

      The problem is, the vast majority of people seem to think their value to an organization is far greater than it is. Unless they're in a unionized position that is forcing a company to pay them more than you're worth through artificial market controls, companies tend to be pretty good at paying people what they're actually worth. People who are undervalued go elsewhere. Hopefully people who are overvalued are weeded out.

      We'd have a lot more people working in the US if more people understood that. It baffles me when you hear someone unemployed making a comment to the media to the effect of "I can't find a job that will pay me what I'm worth" or "I'm underemployed". News flash: Very few people are as valuable as they think they are.

    4. Re:Ask Slashdot: Best Incentives For IT Workers? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That's why I love the place I work now. I got out of the 'big business' type places, and now work at a smaller type office. The difference is night and day.

      At a larger business, employees are consumables. Meant to be used up and then discarded once they aren't like new any more. All a bottom-rung employee (ie: the employees that actually DO the work, without which the big business would sink faster than an anchor) can do is keep burning the candle at both ends and pray that they're no lopped off anyway so that the workload can be spread over fewer people, and give another raise and/or bonus to the manager who decided doing that was a great idea.

      My place? Shit, one time when about 3 people left under completely unrelated and completely different circumstances in a short period of time, I got a hallmark-type card basically saying 'I don't plan on leaving anytime soon, so stay awesome [insert company here].' They loved it.

  33. Fire their ass. by bjwest · · Score: 1

    If you have workers that aren’t doing their share of the work, fire them. I'm sure you've already warned them, more than once, right? If not, it's your fault they don't do their fair share. If so, follow though with it. Hollow threats are just that. Start firing them one by one, and the rest will start to get the hint.

    --

    --- Keep the choice with the user..
    1. Re:Fire their ass. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If you have workers that aren’t doing their share of the work, fire them. I'm sure you've already warned them, more than once, right? If not, it's your fault they don't do their fair share. If so, follow though with it. Hollow threats are just that. Start firing them one by one, and the rest will leave

    2. Re:Fire their ass. by bjwest · · Score: 1

      .... Start firing them one by one, and the rest will leave

      If the slacker employes leave because you start firing slacker employes, I really don't see a problem. Saves you the trouble of firing them, and the state the expense of paying them unemployment. They obviously wouldn't have started pulling their own weight anyway.

      Incentives are supposed to incite people to do better, not to do what they should be doing to begin with. That's the whole point of the job and pay that goes along with it.

      --

      --- Keep the choice with the user..
    3. Re:Fire their ass. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What appears to be a slacker employee may be illusory. (i.e. you need to really need to do your homework before saying 'fire at will') If you execute your strategy, you won't have ANY employees left (good or bad). Management by fear doesn't work, and playing 'draw poker' every 6 months to a yaer with your employees is management by fear.

      BTW: I have worked for compainies which operated like this and got the hell out as soon as the pattern was obvious.

  34. Management, not incentives required by canadian_right · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Sounds like some old fashioned management and coaching is required, not incentives. Management needs to talk to the under performing staff and find out what the underlying issues are and if they can be fixed. Maybe something is happening in their personal life, maybe they need training, maybe they need more challenging work?

    --
    Anarchists never rule
  35. Try the google approach by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Give your employees time to work on something company related that interests them personally.. !!!! I think alot of the google products that were built came out of that program, and it gives the employees a sense of belonging, the ability to really make a difference, the feeling of appreciation etc..

    I cannot think of a better incentive myself!

    http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/21/jobs/21pre.html?_r=0

    1. Re:Try the google approach by jones_supa · · Score: 1

      I was going to suggest the same. Allow the employees to use a slice of work time to work on some personal project. Maybe it would work in other companies than Google, too.

  36. Autonomy, Mastery, & Purpose by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    If you haven't already seen this take a few minutes to watch it. They make the point that after one's basic needs are met financial incentives and perks are no longer motivating. Instead people are motivated by Autonomy, Mastery, and Purpose.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc

    1. Re:Autonomy, Mastery, & Purpose by NormalVisual · · Score: 1

      They make the point that after one's basic needs are met financial incentives and perks are no longer motivating. Instead people are motivated by Autonomy, Mastery, and Purpose.

      For me and almost all the IT folks I know, money talks and all the other crap walks. Often, when people don't appear to be motivated by money, it's simply because it's not enough money for the effort being asked. Personal experience - many years ago I was told that I would get a $10K bonus for completing a particular project within six months. This sounds good on the surface until you understand that meeting this deadline would have required an additional 20 hours per week, every week of those six months. Giving up that much more of my life simply was not worth the incentive that was being offered. Had they offered $30K instead, it likely would have been a different story and the company would have recognized hundreds of thousands of dollars in income at least a full quarter earlier than they eventually did. If you "work to live" instead of "living to work", then you realize that "autonomy, mastery, and purpose" is great to have in the workplace, but it doesn't pay for your kids' schooling or that nice European vacation your wife has wanted for years.

      --
      Please stand clear of the doors, por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas
    2. Re:Autonomy, Mastery, & Purpose by philotag · · Score: 1

      For me and almost all the IT folks I know, money talks and all the other crap walks.

      Then why is it that that here on /. a universal complaint is when "the MBA's showed up and optimized everything for cashflow and the company went to pot"? It's because those "MBA's" took away whatever traces of things like autonomy, master and purpose were there and replaced them with purely financial considerations, and IT folks *HATE* that.

      Exactly zero of the great engineers I've worked with showed up in the morning and said "today I'm going to earn 1/365 of my annual salary therefore today I'm going to kick ass and produce some serious good product." On the contrary, they showed up every morning and kicked ass and produced great product BECAUSE THEY COULD KICK ASS AND PRODUCE GREAT PRODUCT, because they company was a space where they could do that.

      Honestly, all the posts on this thread saying "IT'S THE MONEY" are smoking dope. If you take blasé, disenchanted engineers pay them more, all you get is overpaid blasé, disenchanted engineers.

    3. Re:Autonomy, Mastery, & Purpose by NormalVisual · · Score: 1

      On the contrary, they showed up every morning and kicked ass and produced great product BECAUSE THEY COULD KICK ASS AND PRODUCE GREAT PRODUCT, because they company was a space where they could do that.

      So why isn't the imaginary company in question already giving all of their workers that environment to begin with?

      Autonomy, mastery, and purpose should always be part of a productive IT working environment, not used an incentive. Using that as a reward to recognize exceptional effort instead of making it an integral part of the workplace for *everyone* indicates a failure on management's part. If a manager comes to me and tells me that instead of raising my pay to recognize exceptional effort, they're going to give me a working environment that they should have been giving me and my co-workers all along, I'm not going to be impressed in the least. It's like giving a fast-food employee a longer spatula as a reward for his effort so he can flip two burgers at once instead of just one, when they could have increased productivity all along by giving everyone the bigger spatulas.

      --
      Please stand clear of the doors, por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas
  37. I'd take neutrality - no glaring disincentives. by Demoknight · · Score: 1

    I'm finding that money or other financial incentives are not as standard and competitive as most people like but in general people don't respond to more pay - they get more pay because they're performing already. Something that is harder to quantify is respect for the "chain of command" for lack of a better word. I find that with IT we're too often minimized into being reduced to the lowest common denominator of being a resource. What helps me personally break free from that type of depressing perspective is having leadership that provides a sincere vision and clear objectives and actually makes people accountable for them. There's nothing more demotivating to me personally than doing work for work's sake.

    I'm aware that I'm something of an idealist bordering on delusional :)

  38. stay away from poor metrics as that can trun out by Joe_Dragon · · Score: 1

    stay away from poor metrics as that can trun out real bad.

    As it can become all about stuff like call times that make it better to do quick fixes / tell use to reboot and hang up.

    Number of tickers closed can lead to people banking up easy stuff to save for a slow day or having people who don't want to take on hard stuff as they are better off doing 3-4 easy tickets over say 1 hard one.

    Also stuff like that can be gamed by having some call each week for a password reset just to make your numbers.

  39. Hourly pay. With overtime. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Seriously. "Salary" is one of the biggest screw-jobs in IT.

  40. Just get out of the way by Chabil+Ha' · · Score: 2

    The current employer I work for saddles on a lot of bureaucracy and endless, tormenting meetings. Just get out of the way and let people get their work done.

    --
    We're all hypocrites. We all have hidden parts, it's the contrast between them that make us more a hypocrite than others
  41. time off for working late / being on call by Joe_Dragon · · Score: 1

    time off for working late / being on call and no makeing a deal about being late the next day if you had to work late the night before.

  42. Meaningful work by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

    People need meaningful work. Not all your work is meaningful. Cycle people in and out of the shit jobs. By the way, some folks definition of a shit job doesn't match others. I'm perfectly happy to bring the shred bin out to the shred truck for $40/hr. Some of my guys, however, are absolutely offended when I ask them if they'd take the shred out.

    Flex time is the other "thing". We're pretty generous. I don't really care when you work, as long as your work gets done. As long as it doesn't screw up the team, we'll give you a roughly arbitrary amount of unpaid time off, and going to the doctor's office or picking up a sick kid is not a problem. Still need to hit deadlines and what, but I really don't want you at work if you're angry or sick.

    Short-term cashflow problems are much easier to take care of with the sabatical, too. Right now, work is hard to find, and people are scared. Given the option of staying on at 5 hours/week of telecommuting + health care, versus getting laid off, we do pretty well. It's also helped our unemployment insurance, since folks who see the writing on the wall can get a new job while still technically employed, and we don't have to deal with firing them.

    1. Re:Meaningful work by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      So...no snacks? :(

    2. Re:Meaningful work by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm perfectly happy to bring the shred bin out to the shred truck for $40/hr. Some of my guys, however, are absolutely offended when I ask them if they'd take the shred out.

      This for sure.

      I'm also someone who doesn't mind doing something completely out of my job description. I'm getting paid for it and I actually kinda enjoy doing something different every once in a while (this includes everything from helping move stuff around the office when we were doing a reno to making ethernet cables and babysitting installs when our sysadmin was swamped with the server room restructure. Never got the "that's not in my job description" types.. but either way, there is usually enough people who would welcome a little random busywork to get them away from their computers for a few days that there is no need to upset anyone.

    3. Re:Meaningful work by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm of a similar attitude but there have been a few times when I did have a bit of the "not my job attitude." That happens when I'm trying to get something done that takes a lot of concentration and taking a few minutes away would break that concentration and take me some time to regain my thought process. The other reason is when layoffs are coming. Last thing you want to be doing is working on a shit job/project as that can lead to your being high on the list for layoffs.

    4. Re:Meaningful work by Phreakiture · · Score: 1

      You posted AC, which is unfortunate, because I think you said something insightful.

      Telecommuting privileges would go a long way to making me happier with my day job. Commuting costs me 90 minutes out of every day and enough daily mileage that it would be worth $22/day if I could just expense it. I put that at a daily cost of $82, and an average monthly costs of $1804, just for commuting. This is a senseless waste that could be mitigated if I could just stay home and work from here sometimes, without having to invoke exceptional circumstances.

      On my side gig, however, I have telecommuting privs (good thing, too -- the office is 200+ miles away - though even those who live close by have this priv) and flex time. I get an hourly rate, so the more work I get done, the more I get paid. Quite frankly, they don't care if I am working from the lunch room of my day job while chowing down or if I'm insomniac and banging away at 3:00 in the morning. As long as I put in a good faith effort, everyone is happy.

      If I felt that my side gig offered the stability of my day job, I would be making it my day job. It is sooooo much a nicer place to work.

      --
      www.wavefront-av.com
    5. Re:Meaningful work by Anrego · · Score: 1

      I'm still wary of any full time telecommuting type jobs. Much as I love the idea of working from home all the, I think a little face time with the people you are working with is irrationally necessary. Especially if others arn't telecommuting, as I suspect you'd start to be viewed as kind of outsourced labour, given shit jobs, and first out the door when money gets tight.

      That said, I'd love to be able to telecommute occasionally (bad weather, feeling kinda off, waiting for a package, whatever..).

    6. Re:Meaningful work by Kyusaku+Natsume · · Score: 1

      People need meaningful work. Not all your work is meaningful. Cycle people in and out of the shit jobs. By the way, some folks definition of a shit job doesn't match others. I'm perfectly happy to bring the shred bin out to the shred truck for $40/hr. Some of my guys, however, are absolutely offended when I ask them if they'd take the shred out.

      Flex time is the other "thing". We're pretty generous. I don't really care when you work, as long as your work gets done. As long as it doesn't screw up the team, we'll give you a roughly arbitrary amount of unpaid time off, and going to the doctor's office or picking up a sick kid is not a problem. Still need to hit deadlines and what, but I really don't want you at work if you're angry or sick.

      Short-term cashflow problems are much easier to take care of with the sabatical, too. Right now, work is hard to find, and people are scared. Given the option of staying on at 5 hours/week of telecommuting + health care, versus getting laid off, we do pretty well. It's also helped our unemployment insurance, since folks who see the writing on the wall can get a new job while still technically employed, and we don't have to deal with firing them.

      More of this, please.

      --
      Mexico: 100% conservative's America now!
    7. Re:Meaningful work by Phreakiture · · Score: 1

      Probably a fair view of the way it works most of the time. The second gig throws periodic one-day meetups to get face time. I take a day off from the day-gig and drive out there for these. There is one coming up in a couple of weeks.

      As I say, I don't think the side-gig offers the stability. That's really the only reason it is a side-gig.

      --
      www.wavefront-av.com
  43. You just can't have all stars, plan accordingly by pla · · Score: 1

    With both teams, we have guns who are great and really engaged in looking after the customers, but some of the team struggle. Sometimes it is easy to say that there isn't too much work on and goof off and read Slashdot all day. This puts more pressure on some of the team.

    This reads somewhat confusingly - You mean that sometimes one team has work and others don't? Or just that on both teams you have some stars and some slackers?

    If the former - Simply break down your "team" boundaries! Most coders can handle admin/netops tasks; and although not everyone can code, everyone can help test, which (I say as a coder) often counts as half the work in getting any any large project.

    If the latter - Trickier, because real life just works like that. You can of course fire the real slackers. The ones who do their job but have no desire to do more than it takes to get paid, however... Well, you can't really change that no matter what you offer them. At best, you can make sure they have "enough" to do to keep them busy. You might try matching management styles to each group - The superstars just need to hear someone say "go!", and they'll get it done; The 9-to-5'ers likely need more hands-on management (not micromanagement, but someone to semi-actively keep them engaged throughout the day and notice when they've had a bit too much downtime).


    As for what motivates geeks in general - "Play" (by which I don't necessarily mean "competition"). Simple as that. Sometimes that means letting people find a cool new way to solve a mundane common task even though it might take a bit longer than necessary; sometimes it means letting them read Slashdot; and sometimes it literally means taking 15 minutes and having a Nerf finger-rocket war across the entire office.

  44. I keep forgetting, dilbert ain't fiction by SmallFurryCreature · · Score: 4, Insightful

    There really are pointy haired bosses and ClickOnThis is one of them.

    Nobody reads daily reports, they are useless. And if you need to read them, you are useless.

    You see, in a real company and not in manager lala-land, people got their tasks and they are given them by other people. Only those people really need to know. If you need to know about an activity, you need to know in advance and if you don't need to know, you don't need to know. And nobody is going to spend hours after the office closed reading what other people did. And do it in the morning? Then you are one of those time wasters.

    The only people that think daily reports are useful are clueless managers who have no idea what is going on but are re-assured that since they get a list each day, something must have happened. The trick is to just fill such reports with enough random activity to look busy without taking to much time to generate and then concentrate on whatever you are doing for real. In a big enough company, it don't even matter. It is better to be thought spending weeks on a dozen trivial tasks then a single day working on one important one. Daily reports are not valued by their accuracy, but by their length. And be sure to put ANY tasks you possibly might get any time in the future,is part of the TODO list, it makes you look on top of things.

    I fear one day getting a competent manager, I wouldn't know what to do. Luckily the changes of that happening are zero.

    Ten to one ClickOnThis will one day introduce the daily report at the end of the day and the breakfast standup.

    --

    MMO Quests are like orgasms:

    You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.

    1. Re:I keep forgetting, dilbert ain't fiction by ClickOnThis · · Score: 1

      There really are pointy haired bosses and ClickOnThis is one of them.

      Ahem. I am neither pointy-haired nor a boss. I work at a company that encourages daily reports. At first I questioned their effectiveness, but I have come around to supporting them.

      Nobody reads daily reports, they are useless. And if you need to read them, you are useless.

      Most people in the company ignore reports that are irrelevant to them. That's fine. Even if nobody reads my reports, I find it useful to write down why I did and share it with my co-workers. The exercise lets me reflect on what I have done, and share tips and quandaries with others.

      You see, in a real company and not in manager lala-land, people got their tasks and they are given them by other people. Only those people really need to know. If you need to know about an activity, you need to know in advance and if you don't need to know, you don't need to know. And nobody is going to spend hours after the office closed reading what other people did. And do it in the morning? Then you are one of those time wasters.

      Like I said, people aren't obliged to read the reports. I do spend part of my morning reading others' reports, but the vast majority I just skim very quickly. Sometimes I find interesting things that are useful to my job, or just help to build team cohesion.

      The only people that think daily reports are useful are clueless managers who have no idea what is going on but are re-assured that since they get a list each day, something must have happened. The trick is to just fill such reports with enough random activity to look busy without taking to much time to generate and then concentrate on whatever you are doing for real. In a big enough company, it don't even matter. It is better to be thought spending weeks on a dozen trivial tasks then a single day working on one important one. Daily reports are not valued by their accuracy, but by their length. And be sure to put ANY tasks you possibly might get any time in the future,is part of the TODO list, it makes you look on top of things.

      I have no doubt there are clueless managers who feel gratified by reading reports. And most daily reports are going to contain stuff that is only worth reading by a small subset of one's colleagues. Reports are still worth doing despite these facts. Arguably, daily reports can compensate for clueless bosses, by exposing one's activities to clueful colleagues.

      I fear one day getting a competent manager, I wouldn't know what to do. Luckily the changes of that happening are zero.

      You have a very jaded opinion of managers. I confess I did too, at one time. Now, what I value in a manager is someone who can go to all those meetings, and come back with a condensed "big picture" that helps the group align its priorities.

      Ten to one ClickOnThis will one day introduce the daily report at the end of the day and the breakfast standup.

      As I said, I'm not a manager. Nor do I want to be one. I want a work culture that lets me and my team excel. IMHO, daily reports can help.

      --
      If it weren't for deadlines, nothing would be late.
  45. Github example by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Search for "how we work at github" . Very nice article.

  46. A Good Place To Start by Akili · · Score: 5, Insightful

    If you haven't come across this already, this is a good place to start: http://www.computerworld.com/s/article/print/9137708/Opinion_The_unspoken_truth_about_managing_geeks?taxonomyName=Management&taxonomyId=14

    As an IT worker myself, one of the most difficult things I struggle with is the frequent lack of acknowledgement and respect. I don't mean simple 'thanks for helping me' responses - although those do count, and workplaces where all employees belittle IT will experience a lot of IT turnover - but for the big things. When we break out all the stops to achieve some huge project, or put in extra unpaid time - we're often salaried, after all - to help someone, the reward is sometimes to have expectations raised, rather than to understand that was an exceptional effort. That discourages us from trying so hard next time.

    It's difficult for management to understand what we do, and what they don't understand, they sometimes don't respect. Bonuses are nice, as is comp time. But I really just want to keep things working, and it is distinctly aggravating when I can't prevent a recurring problem because it requires changing the behavior of someone superior to me that doesn't care to make a change, as I'll always be there to clean up their mess. In some cases, it feels like not bothering to install toilets in a restroom because that's what the janitor is for.

    All of that said, when it comes to weeding out those that aren't contributing anything... some sort of tracking system is essential, for techs to keep tabs on what they've done. They'll rightfully treat it with skepticism if such a system comes from On High, as the plausible reasoning is to find out how much they can shrink the department. But when brought in with the cooperation of the staff and their immediate management, it can be trusted more. It's also a tool to demonstrate to upper management just how much work we ARE doing, and to justify extra manpower. Simply saying that you need an extra hand often goes nowhere, since IT is frequently seen as a money pit.

    And, of course, listen to the techs, the experienced ones in particular. They're the ones that can feel that a piece of software isn't working properly, or that a piece of infrastructure is not up to the task. You don't need to do what they're talking about, but consider their opinion. They're here to understand, fix, and instruct people in how to use technology. Knowing that they're being heard, and seeing visible changes in response to that feedback, does a lot to make a tech feel valued.

    1. Re:A Good Place To Start by darkain · · Score: 1

      I'm absolutely dumbfounded... That link right there is seriously the best damn thing I've read all year long, and couldn't have come at a better time for my IT organization's management which just went defunct yesterday.

      Seriously... THANK... YOU!!

    2. Re:A Good Place To Start by strikethree · · Score: 1

      All of that said, when it comes to weeding out those that aren't contributing anything... some sort of tracking system is essential, for techs to keep tabs on what they've done.

      Different people like to be managed differently. Some are self starters who like to know what the goal is and then work their way towards it. Some do not like to think at that level and require more explicit instructions. Problematic people force themselves into the latter group. Once problematic people find themselves with more explicit instructions, they tend to either rebel or submit. If they submit, they will find that many of their, and your, troubles disappear. If they rebel, they have written their own exit papers.

      Of course, the above statement assumes that the managing person does not have personality or mental defects that would affect the above statement.

      --
      "Someone needs to talk to the tree of liberty about its ghoulish drinking problem." by ohnocitizen
  47. lol by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Seems like theres extra slack in the company.

  48. Re:It sounds like you have a lot of carrots alread by Dan667 · · Score: 1

    micro-managing what people are doing will ensure they won't produce. When you only worry about what people are getting done and not when exactly it is getting done in the day I have had so much better results. I know how much effort it takes to do certain tasks. If you want to screw off all day and program until 4am, fine with me.

  49. What I do at work and works for me... by MindPrison · · Score: 4, Informative

    There are two things that motivate me, and the one can't do without the other, both motivation condition must be met for me to thrive at work:

    1) A good salary, so I can work and save towards my biggest dreams, I have to have something to chase.

    2) An interesting assignment, an interesting project. This is what makes me WANT to go to work every day.

    Here is what works, and what doesn't work:
    What doesn't work:
    Telling me that every job is interesting, and that I should be interested when I am not.
    Faking interest.
    Fake team spirit. (I'd like to work with MOTIVATED co-workers that actually take a great interest in their job, passion if you like!)
    Fake motivation. Don't even try, your employees can see through you like you're made of glass, the only reason they smile at your ideas are that you are directly responsible for their paychecks.

    What DOES work:
    Honesty, above all. Always be 100% honest towards your employees, fail at this, and we will be sure to look elsewhere, and one day you'll fail severely because your ego blinds your eyes. So keep honest, always share everything, don't fake, lie or hide. People are more forgiving than you may think.
    Interesting projects. What's interesting to you may not be that interesting to me, sure - I am a professional, so I'll do the job regardless, but don't ask me to fake interest. Just trust me that I'll do a good job anyway, because I can and will...which brings us to the next level:
    Trust me, trust your employees. The single best thing you can do for your employees are to really trust them. If they deliver, they deliver, nothing magical about that. We're all in this boat called YOUR Company anyway, and no one of us have ANY interest in letting it sink, so why should we perform worse if you don't constantly nag, create reports and call into personal meetings?
    Don't believe that we'll sit there and surf the web because we really want to surf the web, this is something most of us can do at home, and if we do it at work, it is to relieve stress, and to keep up to date with an otherwise perhaps important network...yes...this could potentially be your next employee even. Many of us keep up to date with technology this way, we're paid professionals, just don't expect us to do that work at home too, we do it because it's our passion. Force is NOT the way.

    Remember, a little understanding *and DO NOT TRY TO FAKE UNDERSTANDING* will go a really long way. Most IT workers are above average when it comes to intelligence (albeit, in some cases...one can really dispute and wonder about this). So when you try to explain to us why you have to cut back on bonuses, perks or whatever - tell the TRUTH, especially if you know the truth is going to sting a bit, if we discover that you lied, oh boy...mistake!

    That's it really, some clean honesty.

    --
    What this world is coming to - is for you and me to decide.
    1. Re:What I do at work and works for me... by MrSome · · Score: 1

      So what about the uninteresting projects... who has to do those?

    2. Re:What I do at work and works for me... by Neil+Boekend · · Score: 1

      don't ask me to fake interest. Just trust me that I'll do a good job anyway, because I can and will

      He says he'll do the uninteresting projects, but he won't pretend to find them interesting.

      --
      Well, I might have a way, but it only works on a semi spherical planet in a vacuum.
  50. Seriously by ArchieBunker · · Score: 2

    Want motivation? Pay more money. Best incentive ever.

    --
    Only the State obtains its revenue by coercion. - Murray Rothbard
    1. Re:Seriously by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      One of my friends has an uptime bonus. They have a set amount of money each year. They then take the uptime of the services they provide, take that percentage and put it into a sliding scale and multiply that number by the set amount of money. These aren't the real numbers, as this isn't my job, but it would be something like 100% uptime they get 100% of the 95% is like 25% of the money and they don't get anything if below 90%.

    2. Re:Seriously by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Raw money doesn't cut it. Give me flexibility. I have a now two year old girl. I am a software dev. Sometimes I need to be away early. That was no problem at all with my boss. I did some work from home without being asked for it. I got thanks and a 10% raise after my first year.

      It continued like this. Had a project that needed a little extra work at the end. Instead of all nighters towards the end, mandated by the boss I worked after the kid got to bed, went to bed at the usual time and was in the office as usual. Got thanks and a 10% raise and some
      stock. Oh I do some IT work for the company too. After hours, whenever I have the time. Oh and I get the same extra money for that, that I get when working for a client (we do consulting).

      Do I have to mention, that this kind of respect for each other is what I want (part of that is the compensation of course!) and that i don't fucking care for spending an extra hour at work for massage day. I care about spending time with my family.

    3. Re:Seriously by bigstrat2003 · · Score: 1

      I think anyone with half a brain can figure that part out; the trickier question is what form of more money is the most effective. Just giving everyone a one-time, unconditional raise will make them happy for a while, but the slackers won't be any more motivated by it, and eventually the happiness will wear off to boot. So you need to structure the monetary rewards in some way that gives people the incentive to work to earn those rewards.

      --
      "16MB (fuck off, MiB fascists)" - The Mighty Buzzard
  51. If there's one thing I've learned... by aitikin · · Score: 3, Interesting

    If there's one thing that I've learned from my time in management positions after being in non-management positions, it's that incentives have to be personalized. I've given someone a 50 dollar bonus and saw no productivity increase, and given the same person a gift certificate for a pizza outing for her family, and she was overwhelmed with appreciation, as well as a major increase in productivity for the week following the gift certificate.

    Reason being, she couldn't spend the 50 bucks on anything she wanted when she was a single mom who had to spend time with her kids every night and figure out dinner when she came home from work. When I didn't know she was a single mother, I didn't give her any incentive that she'd respond to. Knowing that she was a single mother, meant I could give her an incentive that she knew she'd be able to use and would make her life easier or better.

    Until you can give your employees something that will help them out personally, they're just going to see that as a bonus, not a motivator. Give your management some leeway on what they give as an incentive, while you focus on the why . This forces your management to know their personnel somewhat personally, allows them to look good for giving the people something specifically useful to them, the company for giving management enough leeway, and the employee will want to earn incentives that (s)he knows is useful to them.

    --
    "Don't meddle in the affairs of a patent dragon, for thou art tasty and good with ketchup." ~ohcrapitssteve
    1. Re:If there's one thing I've learned... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Weird post. Kinda sounds like you gotta crush on this chick. It's creepy. A $30 "bonus" is a slap in the face. A bonus should be 1% of annual salary. Otherwise it's not a bonus and calling it taht makes you look like you are out of touch with her reality.

    2. Re:If there's one thing I've learned... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You must be either some kind of people-person genius or paying a slave wage to expect a 50$ bonus or gift card to have any sort of positive impact on anything. If someone gave me 50$ as a bonus I'd seriously wonder why they bothered doing something so bizarre and if they then acted like I should be thankful to them then I'd actively resent them for it. It's like tipping 5c - it's better if you don't tip at all.

    3. Re:If there's one thing I've learned... by aitikin · · Score: 1

      When I say bonus, I'm not talking about a year end bonus, I'm talking about making a quota for a week when two weeks' pay is $800-$1100 (in an area where that's a fairly comfortable living). Annual bonuses were handled well above my pay grade.

      --
      "Don't meddle in the affairs of a patent dragon, for thou art tasty and good with ketchup." ~ohcrapitssteve
    4. Re:If there's one thing I've learned... by aitikin · · Score: 1

      A bonus should be 1% of annual salary.

      So you're telling me that a bonus should be 1% of salary no matter what. This was not an annual bonus, this was a "hey, we made the metrics this week" bonus.

      Glad that you think I had a crush on an employee I knew for a few months though. Saying "taht [sic] makes you look like you are out of touch with...reality". I didn't work for the company long, and, frankly, I left because most of the bonuses (or I guess you prefer "incentives") were coming out of my pocket because the company didn't understand how to get things done. I put money into getting things for people who performed well week to week. When was the last time you could say you bought a coworker or someone underneath you lunch because they met or exceeded your expectations for as little as a week (worth noting, my salary at the time was abysmal, with some of the people beneath me making more than me).

      Also, what does your post have to do with the topic at hand? I was saying that knowing your employees correctly will help identify how best to incentivize them. My bosses never did anything sensible for me, so I left to find another job. One that pays employees based on performance and gives out bonuses to those who do well (and I'm not talking annual bonuses, I'm talking I could earn a bonus in one day that's $500, or I can earn a bomber's jacket, or some kick ass sunglasses, etc. depending on what I do).

      --
      "Don't meddle in the affairs of a patent dragon, for thou art tasty and good with ketchup." ~ohcrapitssteve
  52. Bacon by pubwvj · · Score: 1

    Free bacon as projects are finished. Crisp, hot and delicious. Of course, don't go for that el-cheapo CAFO factory farmed junk - serve premium pastured pork bacon to get the best motivation.

    Sausage too...

    And Boston Butt steaks...

    I'm drooling.

    Okay, so food!

  53. Reports by darkain · · Score: 1

    I'm seeing lots of comments telling people to (dont) do daily reports, or similar tasks.

    What my team has started doing is using the Trello web site for project management. Each task is added as a card, and then assigned people to work on it. Any notes are then added to the cards. This is by far the quickest system I've ever seen for day-to-day documentation. There is no more spread sheets or paragraphs of text to sort through. The cards themselves represent a summary of events, with more details after opening the cards.

    https://trello.com/

  54. money by circletimessquare · · Score: 1

    and... money

    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
  55. Corporate massages? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Get rid of corporate massages for starters. Try to understand what motivates technical people isn't what motivates most other people. Massages, or being touched, is not something I want. Don't offer social incentives, because I don't want them. This stuff doesn't motivate me. I'd rather be left alone to read Slashdot. That -is- an incentive. You're employing creative people, and you should understand that often when they are -not- working on a problem is when everything clicks and falls into place. Three days of doing nothing and suddently getting the right solution which you can bang out in an hour is more productive than four days of grinding away.

    1. Re:Corporate massages? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Unless they offer happy endings I agree, no massages.

  56. Drive by Kevster · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Generally, three things motivate people:

      1. Autonomy - can they at least sometimes discover something on their own that needs doing/fixing and go ahead and do it without okaying it with management?
      2. Mastery - can they devote enough time to new things (e.g. technology) to feel that they are learning something *and* spending enough time on it to lead to mastery?
      3. Purpose - do they have a sense of belonging to something larger than themselves (as opposed to in name only: "there are six people in this group, therefore they are a team!")

    These things drive most people and are completely lacking in my workplace. Search YouTube for "RSA Animate drive" for a better description than I gave.

    --
    I always equivocate. Well, almost always.
    1. Re:Drive by strikethree · · Score: 1

      1. Autonomy - can they at least sometimes discover something on their own that needs doing/fixing and go ahead and do it without okaying it with management?

      I thought the same thing. That is what I wanted as a non-management employee so I thought it would apply when I was management. When suddenly tasked with management responsibilities, I found that this is actually not the case for a fairly large number of people.

      I was confused about "productivity". I thought I was providing an excellent working environment and it seemed that things were not getting done as I had thought they should. At one point while investigating the issue, I asked someone if they would rather have general instructions or explicit instructions. They answered that they would feel much more comfortable with explicit instructions. I was flabbergasted. I needed to reevaluate my base assumptions so I asked everyone individually how they best liked tasks to be managed. The majority said explicit lists, instructions, and timelines.

      Needless to say, "productivity" went way up. The people who disliked autonomy no longer had to deal with the stresses of autonomy. The folks who preferred autonomy retained it and thoroughly blew any metrics right out of the water. A stellar performance all around.

      --
      "Someone needs to talk to the tree of liberty about its ghoulish drinking problem." by ohnocitizen
  57. Whiny unappreciating IT people... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Really? IT people are paid pretty well as it is, get plenty of time to screw off on the job (generally speaking) and they want more incentives? If you don't like it, go back to fucking retail where you get paid like a monkey and get bitched at for taking a minute or two to catch your breath.

  58. Ob by Hognoxious · · Score: 1

    With both teams, we have guns who are great and really engaged in looking after the customers

    Are the best ones recognized as top guns?

    Does the same one always deal with the same customer? Or are they revolvers?

    Do they travel out to the customers' sites? I guess that makes them field guns.

    et fucking cetera...

    --
    Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  59. The surprising truth about what motivates us by Paul+Fernhout · · Score: 2

    From RSA Animate: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc

    Which supports your point, depending on the nature of the task.

    There are also some other somewhat differing ideas like on this Wikipedia page, especially this section:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motivation#Intrinsic_motivation_and_the_16_basic_desires_theory

    --
    A 21st century issue: the irony of technologies of abundance in the hands of those still thinking in terms of scarcity.
    1. Re:The surprising truth about what motivates us by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I particularly like No. 16:
      Vengeance, the need to strike back

      I would suggest arming each employee with a 'Nerf' gun or similar, which can be used, with their discretion, at their Managers.

    2. Re:The surprising truth about what motivates us by Macgrrl · · Score: 1

      I had a nerf gun when I was a BA for a Y2K COBOL team for an insurance company. It was given to me for keeping the developers in line. :)

      --
      Sara
      Designer, Gamer, Macgrrl in an XP World
  60. Obligatory... by AliasMarlowe · · Score: 4, Insightful

    You get more with the carrot than with the stick, so unless you're employing a group of starving donkeys I suggest cold, hard cash.

    This is obviously true. Unfortunately, giving pennies to lots of peons would mean fewer dollars for senior management to plunder^W uh, award themselves in well-deserved hard-earned bonuses. The stick is what you'll get, because carrots are reserved for management.

    --
    Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. - Voltaire
    1. Re:Obligatory... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      http://dilbert.com/fast/2012-08-20

      You know, it's like regular Dilbert but better! Fast, for sensible people.

  61. I was gonna say free time or money... by GameboyRMH · · Score: 0

    But corporate "massage" day sounds like just what a geek needs! :D

    --
    "When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
  62. A couple things that I've seen that work by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Good bosses. Bosses that reward productive people with less supervision, who give time for "cleaning up" things that need to be even if no client is clamoring for it.

    Appreciation. Thank people when they do a good job, go the extra mile, or handle a tough problem exceptionally well.

    Explicit Delegation. Most of the problems at IT shops are things that exist in a nether region of non-responsibility. Whose job is it to fix it when QPID clustering stops working for the web app? Is it the network guy because it is a multicast application? Is it the sysadmin who argued against an overly complicated solution? Or is it the developer who insisted that it was the only way he knew how to implement persistent sessions?

    When it is obvious whose job something is, it is more likely to get done.

  63. Money by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    We'll buy what we want with it.

  64. Re:It sounds like you have a lot of carrots alread by Neil_Brown · · Score: 1

    If you want to screw off all day and program until 4am, fine with me.

    I guess it depends on what the submitter means. I had read his post as meaning that some people were not working efficiently for a prolonged period of time, increasing the onus on others. Screwing off all day, and working from 23:00 until 04:00 may be fine some time — perhaps even most of the time — but when the deadline was 21:00, and everyone else is having to work harder to make up for the fact that one of the team members is screwing off, that's perhaps closer to my understanding of the submitter's dilemma. (And I say this as someone who very much values the ability to work flexibly, and under my own conditions, but I do recognise that there's a time to knuckle down in line with how others are working too.)

  65. not a guaranteed solution by Chirs · · Score: 1

    Paying someone to do something they like doesn't actually make them happier doing it.

    For me the biggest things are getting a chance to work on interesting projects, working with good people, and flexibility in hours.

    1. Re:not a guaranteed solution by Mormz · · Score: 3, Interesting

      The flexibility in hours being the strong point. Exactly why I started my own company. I get to choose when I work, and how much I work (that tends to be more work, but I'm happier doing it, because well I reap the rewards). People like to be respected for their work. I know a lot of developers (beside myself), that get really pissed of when they do this excellent piece of software that generates $$$ for the company and don't get even a pat on the back in return, bonuses, massages and such are SF to bossess/managers that are like that. So the bottom line is, respect your people, value their knowledge and resourcefulness and give them money. Share the profits, or give them raises, but it has to be cash in these times. Teambuildings don't put bread on your table.

      --
      Imagination is more important than knowledge. Having both makes one a genius.
  66. Flexible work time by Crouty · · Score: 1

    I don't mean flexible as my boss seems fit.
    I don't mean flexible as in being on the job wherever I go or sleep.
    I mean flexible like in "everything really important has been done for this week, I feel like taking a day off with the family."

    Having this kind of flexibility guaranteed is the best incentive I could think of.

    --
    On se Internetz nobody noes your German.
  67. Maybe - maybe not. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The advocacy of wholesale chop and grind however is short sighted and ultimately self destructive to a company that's got a substantial investment in tech or, god forbid, is a tech company.

    1. No one said that.

    2. Who the hell knows what the product is - for all we know this is in the backoffice at a plumbing supply company doing Crystal Reports on DOS.

    MOST IT jobs are a million miles away from Google and Apple- No cool shit to work on. Just maintenance, upkeep and other boring uncreative tasks. I've been there and the ONLY thing to do is leave because it was a mature product making the company the money. And when you did have an idea, it got shot down because "it wasn't part of the business they were in."

  68. Are you a fucking idiot? The answer is simple... by realmolo · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Pay them more money.

    Anything else is an insult to their intelligence. "Cake Day"? Jesus. Are you fucking kidding?

  69. Management issue by Todd+Knarr · · Score: 2

    It sounds like it's a management/supervisory issue here. Start by looking at the workload and results of the "slackers". Are they being given as much work as everybody else, and managing to get it done and still have time to "slack off"? If so, let them. The reward for getting your work done well and quickly's that you get free time. If they're not being given as much work as others, take a look at the workloads with an eye towards shifting things around. And if they're being given work and not getting it done, well, that's nothing special and your managers should already know how to talk to the employees about that problem.

    Sometimes you won't be able to even out the workloads. Different people have different specialties, and sometimes the current workload just puts more work in some areas than others. That's only a problem if it's a persistent thing, with some people overloaded all the time and others with not enough to do. In that case, you need to shift people around to learn different parts of the system so they can help where it's needed. That'll take time, just acknowledge that they're learning a new area and won't be nearly as productive right off the bat as they would be if they already knew it inside-out.

    And finally, acknowledge that slack time isn't a bad thing. Emergencies happen, problems crop up unexpectedly, and it's not a bad thing to have people free who can jump in and take up a problem without diverting time from scheduled work. It only becomes a problem if it's unbalanced and it's always the same people with free time. Again, that's a standard management issue of making sure the workload isn't uneven.

    As for motivation, two things. First, pay. The single best way to motivate professional employees is to pay them for their work. Make sure your pay rates are good for your area and the job. And take a look at your annual raise policies. Inflation runs around 2-3%. If your company's routinely handing out raises less than that, your employees are going to be unhappy because their standard of living's slowly eroding. Words and such are nice, but at the end of the day the bills have to be paid and pats on the back and free cake at work don't pay the electric bill or the rent. Second, respect. Upper management expects employees to respect them even if those employees don't understand what management's doing. So show the same respect in return. If you as a manager don't understand the tech, don't sit there and contradict your IT and software-development people when they tell you what they think the best way to approach something is. Even if you've heard something from some consultant, remember that your IT people know your business and your systems better than that consultant (and the consultant isn't going to be on the hook if things go badly, he's already got his money). If what they're saying isn't what you want to hear, give them the simple respect of assuming they aren't just being jerks, they have good reasons for saying what they're saying and they know what they're doing in their field. If you don't think they are, then start tracking it. When things come up, note down who had what opinions. Then, after everything's done and you can look back on the actual results, note who was right and who was wrong and how badly. And if your IT department has a track record of being right more often than anyone else and someone comes in and says "The IT department just don't understand the business needs.", ask yourself what your IT people are going to think if you agree.

    1. Re:Management issue by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Two things here are worth repeating!

      When things come up, note down who had what opinions. Do this for each employee! Then, after everything's done and you can look back on the actual results, note who was right and who was wrong and how badly. Also write down how long each person says a task will take and how long it did. Take that into account when scheduling. If it takes longer they aren't necessarily bad at anything but estimating.

      If some people are always overloaded and others are always slacking off, try to even the workload. If it doesn't work hire someone else that can help the overworked. Then cross train them on the slacker jobs and fire the slackers. NOTHING is more demotivating than having slacker co-workers.

  70. Self-motivation is key by cpghost · · Score: 1

    In the IT sector, excellent employees are usually self-motivated and burn for their job with a passion... until they burn out due to persistently poor management. If you need external incentives for them, you're probably doing something wrong... as in: their work environment isn't adapted to their needs, hindering them to deploy their whole creative potential. In this case, you only have two options: throw in additional tasks that appeal to their internal intellectual drive and combine them with the mission critical stuff (i.e. make it more interesting for them); or fire them or let them go, and hire other people.

    --
    cpghost at Cordula's Web.
  71. Companies need to provide girlfriends by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Any company that does that will save money. Prospective employees would gladly take paycuts to get the gf!

  72. This works by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    All that needs to happen is to let payroll data be exposed to public view. Once that happens, the gravy train will end for those well related to management [cue reciprocating vacuum pump sounds].

  73. Best incentives for IT workers? by Lumpy · · Score: 1

    40 hours a week with 5 hours of screw off time every friday, 35% more pay than industry average. Managers that are not retarted and understand reality.

    Give them those 3 and you will get the best of the best beating a path to your door.

    --
    Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
  74. Not to be grouped together by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    IT workers are so varied it's silly to sit there and think that you can group them together.

    Everyone would like to work less and get paid more... Not true in IT. Some like to be challenged regardless of pay.
    Everyone would like "x" benefit .... It doesn't matter what you put in "x" because you are approaching the problem as if there was a generic skilled worker called an IT staff member.

    At the end of the day if your not tailoring your program to individual employees attrition will always follow. To the hiring manager, getting the skills you need are easy, getting a quality fit requires a flexible definition of a hole.

  75. A slackard is a slackard by Stumbles · · Score: 1

    Ensuring the workload is equally shared by all is the typical socialist short sighted view. The better answer is to fire the slackards. No amount of "incentives" is going to properly motivate. It wastes company time and resources. The unmotivated will get motivated when telling them to get their act together or take a hike.

    --
    My karma is not a Chameleon.
  76. Free food by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Give them free food and make sure to provide healthy options.

  77. incentives by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Treat them like human beings, pay them what they're worth, performance based bonuses are nice, don't insult them with 'cake day'. Also, make sure scumbag middle management does not get to nominate for bonuses ( hog bonuses in exchange for 'adding value' ), let their peers decide.

  78. Fembots by kawabago · · Score: 1

    A girlfriend you can disassemble.

  79. MONEY by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    some people live to work, others work to live. everyone is different and you need both.

    sure the guy who lives to work wants more training better hours, better projects, etc etc

    but the guy who works to live give him more money. i'm in this category. while i do enjoy my job i enjoy my own personal time a hell of a lot more.

    writing daily reports is a trivial task. i keep an outlook draft up all day and just note the various things i do and at the end of the day just tidy it up

  80. Incentives? by fm6 · · Score: 1

    You need "incentives" to motivate people to do their jobs? I think it's called "pay".

    If ordinary workers aren't pulling their share of the load, then the managers are pulling theirs. They need to get out there, talk to people, identify the slackers, and manage them. Talk, cajole, threaten, and (if necessary) fire.

    This is Workplace 101. A manager's job is to manage. There are no fancy gimmicks that makes this role unnecessary,

  81. People are varied, ask them by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Instead of asking Slashdot for opinions on what motivates workers, why not ask your workers? Sit them down and say you're looking at ways to make people happier because you believe happy people work better and see what they suggest. Don't give everyone the same incentives, that just shows you don't care about them as individual people. Tailor their perks to the person.

    For example, the original post mentions cake and massage. I'm not all that into cake or massage or team events. What would make me productive is letting me work from home four days a week, away from all the office distractions, massages and cake. Someone else might want an extra day off now and then, other people might want money, some people might just appreciate that you're taking their input into consideration, others might want more/less responsibility. The important thing is to ask the people you want to reward what they would see as a reward.

  82. How about public gratitude ? We have ego. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I had a discussion about this with a friend.

    More money ? Well, it's always OK but beyond a threshold it's only a number.

    You work your ass off for a project, clocking extra hours through the week-ends (often not very well, if at all, compensated) to successfully reach a deadline in time (said deadline being often time arbitrary and/or unrealistic). And a PR guy/girl that you see in the canteen asks you "and what do you do ?".
    It does not feels right.

    What does ? A public "thank you" to the team (with names) about getting the product out. So you feel that there is some gratitude/understanding that you are hard working/efficient/valuable beside the monthly amount of dollars you are being given.

  83. Not an incentive problem by obtuse · · Score: 0

    This is a management problem, not an incentive problem. Deal with these people as individuals. Some aren't pulling their weight? The manager should probably convey that to them, and that their behavior is unfairly causing others to have to work harder. Just remember that slacking off when things are quiet is its own incentive, and be sure you're not just asking people to look busy.

    --
    Assembly is the reverse of disassembly.
    1. Re:Not an incentive problem by ErikZ · · Score: 1

      Carrot and stick problem.

      However, all the "Incentives" he listed weren't incentives at all, they were just morale boosters.

      Getting paid for work completed, that's an incentive to do more work.

      Bonuses for completing projects that don't generate more work tickets?

      --
      Democrats or Republicans. They are both taking us to the same place and they are not afraid of us anymore.
  84. Decent pay, decent benefits, and proper management by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Developers respond to these three things:
    - Decent pay. If you don't pay your developers properly, they will certainly be demotivated, and will produce crap, or just leave. Low pay also means that you wil ultimately be left with a staff of mediocrities. Developers also _expect_ basic benefits, like a decent pension plan, private medical insurance, and flexible working time. If job security looks dubious, also expect the quality of work to plummet, as developers who actually feel inclined to stay, attempt to produce superficial results, to bolster their own positions. Lack of job security is actually more descructive to an organisation that poor pay. Be very careful.
    - Proper management is essential. If you have non-technical people making development decisions, then you are usually (but not always!) doomed. Developers need to see a coherent plan, broken down in to suitable tasks. This should be agreed with the development team, not imposed from the top down. Miss out tasks like refactoring, and once again, you are doomed. There is nothing worse than maintaining a code base, where features are just added, without any time ever being planned to refactor. There is also nothing worse than being tied up in process, invented by people who don't do any development.
    I'd look very carefully at pay, and management in your organisation. It sounds like there may be problems with both.

  85. Incentives, we don't need no f'cking incentives by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The idea of incentives in modern business is based on the idea that workers aren't working as hard as they can. Put is this way, incentives without the flexibility to make changes in the work environment that enhance productivity are useless or counter productive. Because it's like putting a plate of donuts in front of a prisoners cell and saying, if you can get out, look donuts. Then the jailers, AKA management eats the donuts in front of the prisoner AKA staff and wonders why moral disimproves.

  86. Oral gratification... by sillivalley · · Score: 3, Insightful

    No, the other kind...

    Simple, straightforward, honest thanks for getting the job done, particularly in times of limited resources and increasing demands.

    Of course this implies management that knows what's going on, who is doing it, and actually gives a sh*t. That may be a problem.

    But even in that situation, you can help your cow-orkers by letting them know when they've done a good job; recognition by your peers can be a big help.

    1. Re:Oral gratification... by tompaulco · · Score: 1

      Simple, straightforward, honest thanks for getting the job done, particularly in times of limited resources and increasing demands.
      Yes, and the best part is that you can take that "Thank You" down to the supermarket and buy food with it. And when your wife files for divorce because you spend all your time at work, you can tell her "But the boss says 'Thank you'", and when your kids call the cops when you come home because thy don't recognize you, you can tell them "But the boss says 'Thank you'". And when you end up old and alone, and penniless because your company found somebody even cheaper than you to do your job, you can always fall back on the fact that your boss said Thank You. Yeah, Thank You's are the best motivation, plain and simple.

      --
      If you are not allowed to question your government then the government has answered your question.
  87. Why don't you ask your workers? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    I bet you the answer will be among the following:

    Stop paying for stupid employee massage day and let me purchase a second monitor
    Fire that asshole Jim whose work I end up doing
    Let me work a 4x 10hr week
    Give me a bonus if i meet jobs/week target
    Let me have an office with a door instead of this retarded open layout
    Don't give me a crappy crystal 10yr award, instead give me a cash bonus or the promotion I deserve
    Link productivity and pay
    Limit my mandatory meetings to 2 hrs/week

  88. Slackers? by Flere+Imsaho · · Score: 1

    What is the overall culture like? It seems like you are doing things pretty well already, and if there's a good culture, then perhaps you just have some deadwood. Start talking with them and give them a chance to up their game. Ultimately, if they don't want to work and you've tried to help them, then get rid of them.

    --
    It gripped her hand gently. 'Regret is for humans,' it said.
  89. Profit sharing? by msobkow · · Score: 1

    I've worked for a few companies that talked the talk about profit sharing, but after the upper management and shareholders took "their share", the so-called "share" for employees worked out to less than a day's work. The staff would have been happier to be paid overtime for night support, paid a rate for pager/cell duty, and so on.

    "Cake Day"? Give me a break! Even in France they had a revolution when the queen said "Let them eat cake." Taking a break and eating some cake is nice, but it is not an incentive to work harder when the break is over.

    Ditto massages. Look, I love a good massage -- but I follow it up with a nap after I'm all nice and relaxed. The last thing I'd want to do after a good massage is go back to hunching over the computer in my chair.

    Make sure your employees are properly paid. Reward good productivity with more money -- at least annually. Warn those who aren't being productive that their performance raise is at risk early so they have time to correct the bad behaviour.

    Minimize the paperwork. Techs hate paperwork, without exception. People who like paperwork are rarely skilled developers.

    Flex hours are critical for happy employees. People like myself who suffer migraines can't work a fixed schedule, and "flex time" does not mean "You can work 8-4 or 9-5, your choice." It means real flexibility to deal with life's issues and work in the evening or on weekends sometimes. Flex time means you may be getting a call from me at 08h30 to let you know I can't come in this morning, not that I'll be in an hour late.

    --
    I do not fail; I succeed at finding out what does not work.
  90. Toaster, bagels, jam by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    I worked at a startup that grew to 200 people, was acquired, made everyone happy. Afterwards an employee survey said the #1 perk that everyone loved the most was stocking the kitchen area with cheap breakfast food: toasters, bagels, jams, fresh fruit.

  91. Money by gelfling · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Anything that is not money is not an incentive. For example; no money, no training, no promotion, no job mobility, are not in fact incentives. Also yearly or semi annual self appraisals where every single bullet item is handed to you by management and then you're supposed to write a book report on each one 'quantifying' even though that's impossible to do, on how strenuously you adhere to the corporate goals, that's not an incentive either. And of course when you're done with that massive effort and the manager gets everyone together for a team review and the bottom line is that there's no money and no one's getting an increase again, for the 12th year in a row, that's not an incentive either. And when you don't allow lateral movement in the company because you have no ability to fill that job vacancy because we're all such special snowflakes and unless you find your own replacement, who in turn has to find their own replacement and so on, you can't even apply for that job, that's not an incentive either.

    But mostly it's about money. Don't let anyone con you. My former CEO was given a 41 million dollar bonus in his next to last year for sending 50,000 US jobs to Asia and his retirement agreement is worth hundreds of millions of dollars. The VP level officers of this company are millionaires, on paper. But these losers can't even reimburse the staff for their home office expenses like a telephone. So it's just about the money. Get as much money as you can for as long as you can and don't pay attention to any stupid team building bullshit or internal conventions or seminars on feeling good about feeling good about it. And always remember; HR is your enemy. Their job is to hate you and treat you like shit so you leave and they can replace you with someone 10 cents cheaper if they even replace you at all. Because to them the perfect company is one with zero employees. You're nothing but an overpriced replaceable part to them.

    Money. It's about the money. Real money - cash or stocks that can be sold that day. Options aren't money. Promises aren't money. Fake job titles aren't money. Deferred comp contingent on you growing a fucking unicorn horn on your head in the year 2031 aren't money. And to be brutally honest, not even pensions are money - not any more. More and more companies are wriggling their way out of paying those too. So fuck them and sweet sounding bullshit they blather. It's the money. Documented in writing put in your hand money.

    Except no fucking substitutes.

  92. The Executive Summary: by fullback · · Score: 1

    Give the best workers promotions and raises so they become the bosses of the slackers. Fire the slackers and hire non-slackers.

    I know that seems mean and insensitive to Americans today, but it works in my business. I'm running a business, not a group therapy hug-a-thon.

    America is headed into an abyss of economic pain next year and there will be plenty of people getting laid off. There will be far more people than jobs, so the slackers better get their heads out of their asses, because they're going to be out on their asses soon.

  93. Work on a own project by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    One of the things i see work the best is do like google a 10% "work on a different project" time.
    this will stimulate workers and can give your business some extra new tools or ideas

  94. how about.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    working for your pay. I work for a company, I work very hard, long hours when necessary. Why? Because I am PAID to do it. I don't need massages, chillout rooms or the promise of pizza. I am PAID to do the job I am PAID to do and am grateful that I receive the money each month, on time with relative security it'll come the next month.

    The incentive is the roof over my head, stuff i like to buy and a little bit in the bank for a rainy day.

  95. More direct/FT's, less contingent workers by sethstorm · · Score: 1

    If someone wants to treat people like people, contingency work arrangements go against that purpose(save for the very few people that can go with either). One can address this problem by converting people and positions to permanent/direct/FT while maintaining the same requirements. While some will opt to retain disposability, this measure establishes a base level of trust between employer and the person doing the work.

    Trying to isolate someone due to "regulatory reasons" or "uncertainty" only serves to make most people not value their work since they're considered second-class citizens for the greater part. The rare birds that can defy that are few in number by definition.

    --
    Twitter supports and protects racists - by smearing their critics with the "Hate Speech" label.
  96. Mandatory reading by yahyamf · · Score: 1

    This discussion should be mandatory reading for PHBs and HR drones.

  97. Easy to say, but impossible to control intent by sethstorm · · Score: 1

    Applying the Neutron Bomb only causes more problems than it solves. Its only known purpose was to set a precedent that workers were never to be treated with respect, but as line-item entries.

    While it makes sense if you only look at numbers all day, over-maximizing efficiency will scare off good talent.

    --
    Twitter supports and protects racists - by smearing their critics with the "Hate Speech" label.
  98. It's not all that complicated by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    I've been in the business 20 years on both sides of the desk and it's really not all that complicated.

    1. Pay your employees well. Like more than they can easily find somewhere else. It's worth it if you don't have to lose 6+ months training a replacement up.
    2. Crazy hours should be the exception not the rule and should not be the result of poor planning. I can't think of anything more demoralizing than losing all your weekends because your manager can't find his ass with both hands or because your employer is too cheap to hire enough people for the amount of work. People should have enough input into decisions they feel a sense of responsibility if things do go sideways. Extra hours need to be either paid for or used as banked time.
    3. FIRE THE DEAD WEIGHT. Actually this should be point #1. If someone isn't pulling their weight or harassing and impeding others identify and get rid of them as quickly as possible. It's like a cancer... eventually the ones that are working hard will get fed up and slack off or switch jobs.

    Birthday cakes and company movie days and nap time and milk and cookies or whatever are all well and fine but in most cases they are trying to put a band aid on one of the three issues above causing a lot of turnover.

  99. Ricardo Semler... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ...wrote a book called "The Seven-Day Weekend". It's worth reading.

    He has some other books, but I believe all of them are out of print. Still, he's worth checking out.

    Basically, in his company, work units are responsible for themselves. They get to do the work any way they see fit, and if it doesn't work, that unit goes out of business. I forget all the details, but that's the gist of it.

    Try en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ricardo_Semler for starters.

  100. It is the ECONOMY by p51d007 · · Score: 2

    I've been working full time since I was 15. I'm in my 50's now, and have been through down & up economies. I find, that a lot of times, in a down economy, most employers will treat their workers like crap, knowing that if they don't like it, they will probably stay, because it is harder to find a job, but, when the economy is up, some employers will "sweeten the pot" to keep good workers, knowing that they could go somewhere else. Depending on how rough they treat you in a down economy, should help make the decision to leave in an up economy.

  101. Only four motivators by Simonetta · · Score: 4, Funny

    There are only four motivators for human behavior including writing good software. They are:
      Money
      Sex
      Power
      Fear

    Money: Figure out the minimum amount of money your programmer will NEED to continue to work for you writing your code. Start him at 50% higher than that number. IF version 1.0 works, then increase his salary to 100% more than the minimum amount that he needs.

    Sex: Hire lots of cute young girls without husbands to work in your office. *Very sensitively* approach the subject to them that they can earn signifiant salary bonuses if they have inter-office affairs with the programmers. If you're not sure how to approach this subject sensitively then don't bring it up all, even as a joke. You don't need any sexual harassment lawsuit and the young ladies will probably figure your company policy out by themselves.

    Power: Every dork programmer had some asshole in high school bully them. Tell your programming staff that if version 1.0 ships without major programming errors then you'll hire some local goons to track down the jerks who made their lives miserable and beat the fuck out them. All on high-definition video for their entertainment (or as supplemental erotic stimulation while they're boffing the administrative assistants)

    Fear: Joseph Stalin told the nuclear physicists of the Soviet Union in 1946 that they would either deliver an atomic bomb in five years or spend the rest of their sweet short lives in the Arctic Salt Mine Gulag. He got his bomb. Then gave 'hero of the Soviet motherland' medals to all of them. He killed about 10000000 people and died peacefully in his sleep. He understood Fear.

  102. Money by lightknight · · Score: 2

    Pay them more. It's the difference between a network admin needing to leave work by 4 PM to pick up his kids from soccer practice, because his family only has one car, and a slightly more flexible work routine (something which business can be blind to until a real crisis appears, then it becomes a choice of trying to put out the fire in the data center or having your kids hold this against you for the rest of your life). When the difference s $10,000 / year vs. $4,000,000 / hour, many of the people who manage to make it upstairs (and stay there) tend to choose the less expensive option.

    You'd be amazed at the size of the Titanic-style crisis that has bankrupted many a mid-to-large corporation because they spent more time trying to make things lean in IT than paying attention to the screams of those in IT ("Why do we need all these blue cables? They're just laying around in boxes, all over the place. Tell IT that in the future, if they want any more of these blue cables, they need to submit paperwork to Accounting and setup a meeting with me." or "Why are we paying so much money for an internet connection? I have a cable / DSL connection at home, and it's more than fast enough. I'll get those Comcast guys out here next Tuesday to replace this 'T-3' we seem to be paying so much money for."). "What is it with IT, and their constant spending of money? They just keep spending, spending, and spending on toys and stuff. They need to learn how to budget things better, and only buy the things they really need."

    Okay, I'm done for now.

    --
    I am John Hurt.
  103. This shouldn't need a question by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Sigh. Stop treating them like "IT workers" and start treating them like "workers".

    Next Step: Treat workers like *valued* workers.

    Now -- if you value them, you pay them well, you respect them, and treat them like they're competent.

    Most of IT burnout is caused by ...utterly incompetent management that thinks they can run a software or IT program the same way they can a used car dealership. You can't just sell and market competence, planning, design, requirements analysis, and engineering.

    And while I have no clue what they hell they taught you in MBA school because I wouldn't be caught there dead, it's clear that the one thing MBA's don't know is...math, requirements analysis, fault analysis, or ..have the ability to believe in any reality but their own delusions.

    When we ask you to help make us more productive, you need to pony up the cash for the extra monitor, the extra couple gigs of RAM... whatever. Or you need to ask what the problem is, and get rid of it. Alternately, you can cut back on the schedule--but a lifetime of experience tells me that never happens.

    We aren't out to shaft you -- most of us want to do a good job, collect our check, and go home at 5. Whereas we build and maintain complex systems on a daily basis, we usually are planning for our own future --and thus yours.

    When I tell you something needs refactoring in the next five months--I'm not looking for a paid vacation, I'm trying to avoid overtime and an inevitable accidental bug that might cause complex hard to debug failure and get me called in at midnight or 5 AM for some client who knows where.

    When I maintain something like that for three or four years, it's not a sign I was lying --It's a sign I am a skilled professional building on the foundations of other skilled professionals.

    And sooner or later, that house of cards comes falling down because you didn't want to maintain it. My goal is to be out of there at least six months prior.

    And it's always management's fault.

    Next--stop thinking you're as smart as the workers. You may be. You might have been. Yuo may be smarter. But you aren't in the same spot they are every day. And since management never listens...

    When my boss comes to me and stays "write me instructions on how to reboot the server"... we have a serious problem.

    1) That means the docs don't exist
    2) This means you don't know where they are if they do
    3) That means you can't understand the existing docs
    4) If my doc says "kill process X", I guarantee I did not write the kill comand for a reason -- it's because if you have to be told whether ot use SIGTERM or SIGKILL, and which argument, you are by definition incompetent to touch the system.

    Yes, I could write it, but you wouldn't know what to do. You'd type it in a hundred times without telling me you did it, you'd forget to record the error output, you'd typo a PID and not realize what went wrong when you killed your own terminal...who knows what.

    Similarly, when I write a webapp, and the manual section to add a user begins with "log in to the administrative section". You can either hire a technical writer, or die if you need to be told how to log in.

    If you want to motivate me, ask me what I want, and then *GET IT TO ME* or show me you're actually trying.

    And it helps...to understand me. When I complain that I am spending 900 hours a year writing public manuals, and ask that I be given a technical writer or intern, the correct sollution is not to take one of the clerical assistants downstairs and throw them in my lap. That steals even more time.

    If I wanted more time from the person I already work with, I would have asked for that. But because I'm not allowed to point out that they're too incompetent to know the difference between left and right click--doing anything with them takes 400% more time than it would to do it myself.

    And it produces something that only they and you think is higher quality. Goo

  104. The best incentive by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    is a chance to create something new, preferably from gound up.

    Those chances don't come up many times during one's career, but when they do, it can be exhilarating.

  105. Free prostitutes. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Works for the government!

  106. Ted talk on this by seifried · · Score: 1
    http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_pink_on_motivation.html

    Career analyst Dan Pink examines the puzzle of motivation, starting with a fact that social scientists know but most managers don't: Traditional rewards aren't always as effective as we think. Listen for illuminating stories -- and maybe, a way forward.

  107. Eh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Cake day? Massage? What the hell?

    Motivation for any salary worker is spelled M O N E Y. Give more to those who work more and less to those who work less. Fire the worst ones. Re-evaluate often. Problem fixed.

  108. Re:"we have guns" . . .ed t by griffjon · · Score: 1

    Or, perhaps, the bar to work-from-home is so high, that once your employees cross it, they feel entitled to chill out? Mayhaps you should instead just /give/ them a day off?

    I get my best, most-strategic work done when I'm not in the office and responding to the fire of the minute, and I earn 1:1 overtime, so if I need to chill out on a random friday, the door is open.

    --
    Returned Peace Corps IT Volunteer
  109. Don't base your tech's pay on 'certs' by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    some people think certs are a bad thing, and some would say on a large corporation level, they are a bad idea. If someone wants to prove they are capable of more, then certs are great, and that shows. However when you don't reward people on a NAMED basis (not a number, as I assume you're someone in management), you get a lot of wasted talent simply because one manager might have labeled someone incorrectly.
     
    Don't make your 'rewards' meaningless, and the way to get rewards as meaningless to the person (certs they will never use, but that's what you require for their pay progression).

  110. what? by Osgeld · · Score: 1

    how is giving them cake a proper reward for getting their job done, and picking up the slack from the flunkies down the hall who are eating the same cake?

  111. Simple by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Give them challenges, reward success appropriately (whats good for you might not be good for them), and training.

  112. What works for me by RichMeatyTaste · · Score: 1

    1) Quarterly objectives that are only partially tied to company performance. If I meet my objectives but the company doesn't I still get 75% of my bonus, which is 3.75% of my salary per quarter (assuming the whole thing pays out). And the company portion of the bonus has been there for the last 6+ years running without interruption, so they set reasonable goals for themselves too.
    2) If you work on something big, or accomplish something significant, additional other bonuses. I've been there since last July and have gotten two of these, ranging between 4% and 10% of my base salary. The 10% bonus takes 4 years to fully vest, but that is reasonable.
    3) Workout facility onsite.
    4) I have an office, not a cubicle. You have no idea what this means to me, especially since I am usually writing documents for 1/3rd of my time (I build solutions, test them, and write-up my test results and reference architectures) and like my privacy.
    5) So long as I am not seeing customers, there is pretty much no dress code (within reason, I wore shorts and a t-shirt from ~April till just last week). This is wonderful because honestly, unless we have clients coming in to meet with my team (rare, since we aren't in sales) I don't need to be dressed up at all.
    6) Solid benefits. This means reasonable deductibles that won't kill me if someone has ongoing health issues/medications that are outside of their control. This is huge as well because crappy benefits can cost my family $3K-5K/year, and I take that stuff into account when looking at the base salary of an offer.
    7) My boss feels that if you have to work more than 40 hours a week on an ongoing basis, he is likely not doing his job correctly. He works with you to set reasonable quarterly objectives, which he of course fully expects you to meet.
    8) Training. We work with unreleased/just released stuff all the time (and write about it), so this is critical.

    Yes I am paid well, but items 3-8 on this list are enough to give me serious pause before even entertaining another job offer. I could care less about cake days, or massages. Workout facilities, an office, and a lax dress code help keep the stress down. Good pay and benefits means that I'm not worrying about money, which is important. I don't need to drive a Ferrari, but my family vacations and the occasional hobby are important to me.

    --


    Ever feel like you are driving the getaway car?
  113. money by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Pay them more money. Jesus Christ, it's why I still show up at work!

  114. Our incentive program by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    What incentives? Our incentive is receiving a paycheck.

  115. Re:Or give your 2 weeks? by Billly+Gates · · Score: 1

    What the f#ck does his manager do all day? Hang out on slashdot?

    A manager should actually manage and talk about what his guys will do so he doesnt have too. If I found out that would change fast! I would email my boss and put in place a new policy. That manager needs to go

  116. Blinkered thinking by dbIII · · Score: 4, Insightful

    What's wrong with looking outside your own office to see what other people are doing?

    1. Re:Blinkered thinking by somersault · · Score: 1

      I get a beating if I look out the window for more than 2 seconds at a time :(

      --
      which is totally what she said
    2. Re:Blinkered thinking by dvice_null · · Score: 2

      But you learned from that, didn't you?

  117. Oral Sex by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Sure, IT people are mostly men, but IT women enjoy getting some oral sex too.

  118. W. Edwards Deming by chocolatetrumpet · · Score: 1

    Not one reference to W. Edwards Deming this entire thread!? You really, really need to investigate his work.

    "Deming's teachings and philosophy are best illustrated by examining the results they produced after they were adopted by Japanese industry, as the following example shows: Ford Motor Company was simultaneously manufacturing a car model with transmissions made in Japan and the United States. Soon after the car model was on the market, Ford customers were requesting the model with Japanese transmission over the US-made transmission, and they were willing to wait for the Japanese model. As both transmissions were made to the same specifications, Ford engineers could not understand the customer preference for the model with Japanese transmission. Finally, Ford engineers decided to take apart the two different transmissions. The American-made car parts were all within specified tolerance levels. On the other hand, the Japanese car parts were virtually identical to each other, and much closer to the nominal values for the parts - e.g., if a part was supposed to be one foot long, plus or minus 1/8 of an inch - then the Japanese parts were all within 1/16 of an inch. This made the Japanese cars run more smoothly and customers experienced fewer problems. Engineers at Ford could not understand how this was done until they met Deming." -wikipedia

    Read his books! You are asking the wrong questions!

    --
    Spoon not. Fork, or fork not. There is no spoon.
  119. Beer and Pizza. by sparkeyjames · · Score: 1

    And remember to keep your greasy fingers off the racks.

    Pizza grease helps to remove cheetos stains on your fingers.

    not really but I couldn't resist.

  120. Actual pay for overtime, and Prototype Development by cowtamer · · Score: 3, Interesting

    There are two things you can do which will matter

    1) Don't disincentivize -- If an employee is willing to put in 55 hours, pay immediately for 55 hours of work. Don't make it "bounty pay" or "year end bonus" or some other form of unpaid overtime or delayed reward. This is rare and a great boon for a motivated developer.

    2) Do a variant of what Google does -- allow people to work on prototypes and proofs of concept (of their own choosing, perhaps vetted by the company) either on company time or their own time. Provide a wide (and serious) audience for such demonstrations (a monthly "demo pitch" meeting for the whole company, perhaps). We would MUCH rather do something that might matter than read (or write on) Slashdot. It's the promise of achieving something larger than themselves which keeps the more interesting developers going. (The ones doing it solely for the paycheck are unlikely to be good. If they are, see #1). While the main purpose of this would be to keep your employees interested and focused on your company, you are bound to end up with several interesting and worthwhile projects in the end -- projects which you could NOT have bought with money alone.
    (One of the most valuable experiences I've had in my career was such an opportunity given to us by a forward thinking company owner).

  121. ASK THEM!!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Sorry, but humans are all different. Some are driven by praise, others by money, others by time off, others by paid vacations to exotic locations.

    We are all different.

    Once my entire team was forced to leave the country for a "team building" in Cancun. All expenses paid, spending money provided, girlfriends/spouses invited too. I had no interest in going - told them I didn't. It was "mandatory" - 2 months later I turned in my notice. Something meant as a reward for good work, shared by the team drove me away.

    They provided cash bonuses for met schedules, stock options based on merit, excessive paid time off - at least for me. I'd outgrown the job and needed to move on. I liked my boss and other leadership. I was making a difference every day. There was much to like about the job. I happened to find another challenge paying almost 2x more money. They offered a lease car and 20% raise to keep me there. By that point, nothing they offered would keep me. It was time to move on.

    People that don't produce the desired output need to be let go. They aren't happy and you can't make them happy with "incentives." The best favor any company can do it let them go to find something that makes them happier. Of course if their spouse just died, a few months of less-than-stellar output should be expected.

  122. Money isn't the answer! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    As a partially unmotivated person, here's what would motivate me the most:

    Get rid of the overachiever. There's always one. One guy, who thinks that they deserve more money, do the best work, and work the hardest. You know that guy. There may be more than one of That Guy, but That Guy exists everywhere. He makes everyone who just wants to come to work and do a good job, look like slackers, idiots and jerks when they try to speak up about how the "culture" in the workplace sucks. He's the guy who complains the loudest in meetings and ends up getting his way, just by being the loudest and making everyone else care just a little bit less about their jobs every time they open their mouth. He's the one who thinks everyone should work a 16hr day a few days a week, because he can do it and something "has to get done today". It's rarely the case, but it has to happen often enough because That Guy can't help but make the people who would be helping him, just want to see that guy fail at something and get canned. It rarely (if ever) happens, but everyone wants to see it. The worst part? The guy is probably right most of the time and DOES work really hard. So it's relatively impossible to convince anyone in charge of anything about That Guy. However, the entire team is crushed under the weight of expectations and a guilty feeling in attempting to create a work/life balance, and That Guy has a huge demotivation factor.

    Get rid of that guy. He may pull in amazing metrics, but the negative effect on the entire team sucks away productivity from everyone. You can make it back up by getting rid of That Guy, replacing them with someone average and increase productivity as a whole.

    In about 1/3 (maybe more) of the posts so far, I've totally noticed That Guy. You guys should take a step back. Money is not the best thing in life, and it will not make you a better employee. Money sure doesn't promote teamwork, it promotes you to being That Guy, because you think that since you got a big raise and a new title that you're the boss of all the losers who didn't. Net effect? Morale goes in the can. Thanks, That Guy. It's nice to get paid an appropriate amount, but when you bump someone into That Guy territory, you might as well kiss half your team goodbye at the first opportunity for them to get a new job. If that's the goal, cool. Good job! If you're interested in building a long-term stable team of happy and productive employees... you let That Guy find a new job where he can wreck someone else's morale.

    Most people just want to show up, do a good job, go home and play with their kids or significant other. They don't want to be That Guy, and you have to do whatever you can to prevent That Guy from taking root in your company before they destroy it. Period.

  123. don't hire assholes by MrKaos · · Score: 2

    Seriously - don't hire assholes

    --
    My ism, it's full of beliefs.
  124. Ask them - but guide it a little by expunged · · Score: 1

    I'm with all of the people suggesting you ask them what motivates them. You can set up an anonymous survey (a la SurveyMonkey or using Google Docs) where they can provide their feedback if you want it en masse (and not to seam like an interrogation).

    I would suggest asking questions, not just giving them the "what motivates you" question. Things like:
    * What kind of office benefits are you most interested in (massages, breakfast/lunch/dinner, gym access, childcare, etc)
    * What kind of workspace benefits are you most interested in (access to more closed-door offices for conferences/meetings/private conversations, 2+ monitors, etc)
    * What kind of flexibility benefits are you most interested in (remote access, work from home days, flexible in-office hours, FedEx/20% time projects, etc)
    * If offered, which of the following rewards would interest you the most (project-based bonuses, quarterly bonuses, time off, more office/workspace/flexibility benefits, etc)
    * What type of review system are you most interested in (peer review, quarterly goals, management review, etc)
    * How satisfied are you with the current review system, current benefits, etc
    * What would you improve about the current review system, current benefits, etc

    Most of those don't have one-off answers, they may be a ranking type thing where people are MOST motivated by something but would also be interested in something else.

    As a manager of a team, it benefits you (or whoever their manager is) to motivate each team member individually, as their interests and motivators will NOT all be the same. The survey or data you gather will tell you how satisfied people are and give you an idea of some commonalities among your team members (like someone said, if the massages are totally useless, get rid of them).

    good luck!

  125. Not Money by tdarklighter · · Score: 1

    Money is a short term motivator. If the job sucks, a 25% raise will be great for a few months and then the same dissatisfaction comes back.

  126. Your doing too much already by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    What engineers care about is already covered by your set of incentives. The problem isn't with your incentives any more but instead with your workers. About the only thing you could ensure is to make sure their equipment is acceptable for what they are doing. And I don't mean 3 monitor, with quad GPU's, and reclining office chairs. I mean within reason, if they need the equipment then they should be able to write up a decent essay explaining why they need it.

    However something to consider, people don't think very well when sitting still all day. Big business often have rec rooms where their programmers can let off some steam and to work off exhaustion or writers block. (And no a "corporate massage day" doesn't cover this. They need to get up and get moving. Personally i just pace the halls when I need to think.) However an employee that is reading Slashdot all day, is probably not an employee, and is regularly getting behind on work, is probably not an employee you should keep. Not to sound harsh but a few peer evals coupled with a internet log from their workstation might reflect this. (Note: that having Slashdot open is different from activity make sure your IT department understands this.)

    Also be wary of over management, you just need to make sure they are progressing towards your goals, and not micromanaging every task they perform. Each employee should ideally submit a log of what they did at the end of the day. (Or have some method to track what is getting done.) If all that fails a simple informal talk with them could reveal tons. (Some seemingly minor problems could end up being very difficult to track down and solve, usually a talk will reveal this and sometimes just putting someone else on the problem task will solve the problem. It isn't easy to judge from the outside and sometimes a problem that is impossible for one person is simple for another. So don't discredit an individual because of one problem, but if it happens repeatedly...) Between this and their internet logs and peer reviews you should be able to figure out which employees are problem employees.

  127. Not good when you leave by dbIII · · Score: 1

    That's not good when you leave and have to collect your stuff, and the original manager that approved it all is not around any more (been there, done that and had to spend a lot of time proving I was not a thief), or if you have something on there that is related to some hobby considered frivolous or weird that the least tolerant person in the org thinks shouldn't be linked to the company name. I have a good manager now but I still keep my stuff off the webservers I run and out on an ad supported wiki site that has no connection to my workplace. Put something of your own in a work rack and if there's a problem some lazy bastard is bound to blame it, or it's likely to go for a walk when a section is looking for extra resources and can't find the part of a company that owns it.

    1. Re:Not good when you leave by detritus. · · Score: 1

      I guess it varies heavily on the company size, culture, what you want to use it for, etc. However, I've had jobs where I had rack space and relied on my servers for many things, and served as a test environment for new things to implement in the company. It's extra monitoring on my part when I'm putting the same dependence on my systems working as their systems working. It was a mutual benefit, and I've heard similar stories of policies like this elsewhere. When I took a new job, I simply found it a new home, granted if I were fired and had no notice that might be a little different. I think it makes people better employees.

  128. Shit Company Process by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Sounds like you work for a shit company.

    Geeks already to daily standup meeting, per the scrum process, now you expect them to do additional paperwork.

  129. May not be that simple by dbIII · · Score: 1

    I've worked in plenty of places where people did not do what should be their share of the work because the work was assigned poorly and there were no secondary tasks assigned to fill in quiet times.
    If they are slacking off instead of doing tasks that they could be working on that's a different story.

  130. Two awful words for you : Loss Aversion by Slacker · · Score: 0

    If you really want to squeeze every last drop of juice from your clockwork oranges, give them a fat juicy bonus at the beginning of the year ( or quarter, whatever) and tell them that if they don't make their metrics there will be a "claw back". This is legal in the US if documented properly, and with people living so close to the financial edge in a lot of cases they will spend it long before they figure out they likely won't make their numbers. The company gets a boat load of overtime out of them for nothing...

    Money that you have (or have spent and can't give back) and might loose is a significantly stronger motivator than some abstract maybe bonus structure, according to those who study carrot and sticking.

    I think it's awful but YMMV.

    --
    ~~~ Trust me, I'm a professional! ~~~
  131. Re:Obligatory...Redux by quarkscat · · Score: 5, Interesting

    You get more with the carrot than with the stick, so unless you're employing a group of starving donkeys I suggest cold, hard cash.

    While I agree with this sentiment up to a point, it goes far beyond just cold hard cash. I worked in IT for 15 years until I was black-balled by the Powers That Be for public criticism of the Bush regime post-9/11 (don't ask). Cash may be king, but it hardly begins to cover what makes for a productive, energetic IT work-force. I know, because I have been there. Let me elucidate:
    Respect: Respect is a 2-way street. Bosses that treat their employees with a modicum of respect for their prior knowledge and insights to problem resolution will get more effort out of their workers.
    Variety: Variety of job assignments, particularly time-sharing between multiple assignments, keep workers alert and fresh.
    Mentoring: Provide employees with at least quasi-confidential mentoring by more senior staff. Every job is a learning experience to some extent, and public ridicule for minor gaffes can ruin a career.
    Education: Employers that offer discounted or free courseware for continuing education will benefit both the employee and the company long-term. HR should invest the time to help employees keep their CVs up-to-date.
    Flex-Time: Unless you are running a Chinese Foxconn facility, flex-time provides for accommodating the individual needs of employees who might actually have a life outside the job.
    Vacations: Vacations should begin with a 2 week minimum, and increase with the time vested with the company. Not only does it help employees let off steam and recuperate away from the company, but it will also help the company to discover weaknesses in the overlap in employee skills. It will also serve to remind employees that they are not irreplaceable. No one in a corporation, from janitor to CEO is irreplaceable.
    Bonuses/Awards: Bonuses should be generous and tied to specific projects and project milestones. Awards, even tacky awards, that acknowledge the efforts of workers are appreciated.
    Profit-sharing: If your company isn't offering profit-sharing awarded quarterly, then you are insulating management rewards from those of your employees, which will create unnecessary divisions in team-based corporate goals.
    Activities: Outside activities that bring employees and families of employees together build corporate identity and unity. Even a semi-annual catered barbeque held in the corporate parking lot would do -- reservations at a theme park would be even better.
    Benefits: Companies that are not stingy with health, family health, and term life insurance will have happier, healthier employees. Companies that subscribe to quality daycare facilities for the young children of employees demonstrate an interest in the well-being of the employees families, and helps build loyalty.
    401Ks: Companies must offer employees a decent selection of retirement investments, preferably with vested corporate contributions. A 401K that only invests in company stock isn't a retirement plan -- it's a scam.

    Not every company can offer all of the things that I have listed above, particularly smaller companies. But those that do manage to offer many of these items will have a happy, loyal, and energetic workforce that will willingly go above and beyond to help the company when needed. Merely offering top dollar in wages to employees does not build loyalty, only a mercenary attitude that will hurt the company most when the company is vulnerable.

    Anyway, that's my $00.02 worth.

  132. Feedback by maiden_taiwan · · Score: 1

    The best motivation for a hacker is the respect of more experienced/legendary hackers in the company. When some IT God stops by my cube, looks at my work and says, "Holy sh*t, that's amazing: how did you do it?" that feeling beats 1000 "cake days."

  133. Solution by GNUALMAFUERTE · · Score: 1

    Get rid of management. Cut the red tape. Increase salaries. Hire the right people.

    --
    WTF am I doing replying to an AC at 5 A.M on a Friday night?
  134. Re:Are you a fucking idiot? The answer is simple.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    At the company I was with until recently (Large Canadian system integrator/VAR based in Western Canada), they had a Social Committee for staff events."Cake Day" was one of them. The also had a number of unofficial events as well:

    1) "Be Billable or Be Gone Day" - Anyone that couldn't be charged out was off to the chopping block in a heartbeat. Dear God, if you were on the bench, you were sweating bullets. If you weren't a billable resource, you knew that the axe could fall at any time, period.
    2) "Scrutinize Expense Reports Over Bullshit Day" - The President of the company going over each and every expense report? Delegate this to your Directors and do something of real value. You cannot cost-cut your way to success. Really.
    3) "Hire Visionary Experienced Leaders and Frustrate the Fuck Out of Them Day" - This was EVERY day. Nothing is more demoralizing than seeing smart, talented and experienced professionals come and go so fast there should be a revolving door at the main entrance.
    4) 'Owners Talking to Each Other In Another Language In Front of Other Managers Day" - No, really. We don't think that you aren't talking about things that you don't want us to know about and in your native tongue to exclude us. Hint: smart phones can record your conversations, and I can pay Abu in Bumfuckistan pennies on the dollar to translate your conversation back into English.
    5) "No Sense of Direction, Leadership or Vision Day" - Everyday. Same Bat-Time, same Bat-Channel. How that company managed to get as large as it did is a fucking mystery.

    Unfortunately, they did not schedule a "Owners Get Their Collective Heads Out of Their Assess Day". But that would have to be every day, and that's not going to happen.

  135. Money talks...BS walks... by erp_consultant · · Score: 1

    If you really want to motivate people then pay them a good wage. When they work overtime pay them for it. I've seen too many places that hire people on straight salary and then expect you to work long hours and weekends without any additional compensation. When I say compensation I don't mean buying the team a pizza or mentioning them in some "at-a-boy" email that comes out afterwards. Or some vague mention of a "bonus" down the road that never arrives because of one of several built in excuses that management conveniently plays at the end of the quarter. I'm talking cash...cold, hard cash. Not next quarter or at the end of the year...next paycheck.

    These days my default position when it comes to management is that they are full of shit until they prove to me otherwise. That's why I switched to contracting. You want me to work overtime? No problem...my hourly rate is 'X'. If you don't want to pay me then get one of your 'salary slaves' to do it. Funny how often something that was a crisis 5 minutes ago ceases to be one when management finds out that they're going to have to pay me to stay late and fix it.

    Let's see...what are the benefits of being a full time employee?
    1) 2 weeks vacation a year
    2) A handful of Stat Holidays
    3) $3000 a year towards your 401-K (as if I'm supposed to fund my retirement on that)
    4) No training
    5) No job security
    6) Forced overtime with little or no compensation for it

    Fuck that. I'll stick with contracting.

  136. Happy ending day? by pivot_enabled · · Score: 1

    Or is that just the last few seconds of massage day?

  137. Re:Obligatory...Redux by Jiro · · Score: 1

    Except for the outside activities part, those are things that can legitimately motivate employees, but the reference to cake day and corporate massage day in the original post make it sound more like it's the kind of management who would give employees as few benefits as possible. Engineers aren't stupid and can figure out that you can buy an awful lot of cake with even a slight raise.

  138. wrong track. by AdamWill · · Score: 1

    "cake day"

    No.

    "bonuses for exams and profit share"

    Okay.

    "corporate massage day"

    Christ, no.

    Look, it's simple. A good engineer is a professional. They don't need you to give them stuff. With the amount of money you ought to be paying a good engineer they can buy all the damn cake and massages they might need. Every engineer I know, without exception, most wants to have a useful job to do, and the latitude to do it properly. The single biggest de-motivator for an engineer is to know the work they're doing isn't valued and they're getting squeezed by management. If they have a job to do which is actually productive, and the company respects their expertise in doing that job, and they're paid reasonably well, then they're happy. Simple as that. There is nothing more to it.

    1. Re:wrong track. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I wish people would stop calling them "engineers." They are developers, programmers or code monkeys. Unless your core curriculum requires 20 hours of math and 20 hours of hard science (chemistry,physics,etc...) in addition to the classes in your discipline, you are NOT an engineer.

  139. Here's my version by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Years ago the directors at a company I worked for asked me to come up with an incentive program. So I did. Did they implement it? Of course not. But here it is...
    Possible Incentive Scheme – Not yet fully thought through

    Premises
    1. A perceived lack of control is very de-motivating, therefore giving an employee a sense of increased control should be very positive.
    2. It is a truism that money is the sincerest form of flattery.
    3. A company has a right to expect benefit from expenditure.

    Proposal Summary
    1. Give employees the ability to personally direct some company expenditure on improvements to their work environment.
    2. Make it possible for employees to take home some of the purchases after a suitable period.

    Proposal
    1. Each employee would have a “Performance Credit” (hereafter known as $PC) balance.
    2. This balance can be incremented on an automatic basis and/or with bonuses for specific achievements.
    3. $PCs translate to dollars that can be spent on improvements to the working environment.
    4. Items purchased using an employee’s $PCs have a sticker with “Thanks to ” the purchase date, and a tag number.
    5. In the case of capital improvements, after 3 (subject to discussion) years the employee responsible can sacrifice an equal number of $PCs and take the item home.
    6. In the case of planned company expenditure on an item for the employee, the quantity budgeted and the planned implementation date will be set by management, and the employee can allocate $PCs in order to fund an upgraded version of that item.
    7. Employees can pool $PCs in order to buy a communal item. After the company use period has expired those employees can negotiate amongst themselves if anyone wants to (or can afford to) sacrifice the total $PCs in order to take the item home.
    8. Employees who leave the company forfeit their $PCs and their interest in items purchased with $PCs.

    Detail
    There would be a database containing these details...
    For each employee, a record with their current personal balance.
    For each employee, optional additional records with planned company expenditures
    For each item purchased under this program, a tag number, an item cost, a purchase date, an expiry date, a list of contributors & contributions. The contributors may include Planned Expenditures. e.g. PC-Upgrade $600

    The employee’s personal balance should be established with an initial value when joining the company. This could be something like $100 - $200 that can be spent by the employee on things that they feel would improve their work environment, such as a better chair, a pot plant on their desk, a piece of software they particularly like, etc.

    The personal balance could be incremented in several ways.
    1. Regular automatic additions such as 10 per week. This would mean an automatic 520/year basis for improvements.
    2. Performance bonuses. Do good, get to spend company money.
    3. Innovation refunds. If some item purchased under this scheme is deemed particularly beneficial to the company, refund the $PCs to the employee. They still get the option of sacrificing $PCs to take the item home after the expiry date.
    4. Others I haven’t thought of.

    Examples
    Scenario 1 – Fred wants a better chair.
    Fred sees a chair he wants in the officeworks catalogue and has the requisite number of $PCs. The chair is purchased, Fred’s $PCs are decremented, a sticker is put on the chair with a tag number, that tag number is entered into the database with the required details. After the expiry date Fred can opt to take the chair home and have his $PCs decremented again by the original number/purchase price. This should be enough to replace the chair with one the same. This one will NOT have a sticker & tag number as it is a straightforward company asset.

    Scenario 2 – Fred wants a better chair. The company has scheduled purchase of ne

  140. Lol Money. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Yes, pay. I'd work harder, but I'm in my probationary period right now (I'm setting my bar high enough as it is trying to keep this job).
      Raise when I'm through it and one a few months after that will set me straight.
    Also I appreciate being able to root through the old parts bin.
    That's incentive enough for me.

  141. Why are you asking if you already know? by wkhtl · · Score: 1

    Either you work in the industry and know or you don't and shouldn't be. I work at a lower level than what you appear to be managing but if you're trying to find incentives for your employees then you already have a problem. My job gives me enough incentives through money, benefits and my work environment to keep me motivated. If you treat your employees as important and give them general reasons to make themselves and the company better then they will respond. If you don't, they won't. This isn't rocket science, its basic psych 101. I can take breaks when I need to. I get paid for what I think I am worth. I get benes equal to what I think I do for my company. I get praise from my managers when I do well and I get constructive criticism that helps me build my performance and work skills when I don't do well. If I want to expand my knowledge base and take classes or go for a relevant certificate to my job, my boss pays for it, and if I do well, I get paid for it. End of story.

  142. Rewards are not the answer! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Try motivating your workers by letting them work at a company without stupid rewards programs. I would slack off at a company that insulted me with rewards for doing my job, too. If that fails, negative reinforcement will at least get the slackers to quit the company.

  143. bitcoins by johnsnails · · Score: 1

    der

  144. Depends: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    At 1% level: money, more money, payment for failure, golden parachutes, golden handcuffs, gold lots of it
    At 99% level: whips, fear, intimidation

  145. There are two kinds of IT department by Stirling+Newberry · · Score: 1

    Those that like to get things done.
    Those that want to stay employed.

  146. Personal / Pet projects by Martin+S. · · Score: 1

    Personal project time is something I've used in the past and it works very well. Usually Friday afternoons, the majority of Geeks have these on the go anyway.

    You do not need make it compulsory they are directly related to current job or role, most will be anyway. Often at the edges of existing project but of scope they often results in new products, services for the business.

  147. to be paid what they're worth. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    to be paid what they're worth.

  148. The Best Manager I Ever Had by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    A lot of good stuff on here, notably money, respect (all facets), time, indivdual rewards.

    I just want to tell a story about the best manager I ever had. I was recently out of school, doing some of the crappiest IT work ever seen : Y2K remediation.

    We were a team of 10 people, of amazingly different backgrounds. Our manager started by saying, "here's what we have to get done". He let the team figure out how to do that, break the work up, and did nothing but iron out the rough spots as they arose. If one of us raised an issue that needed outside resolution, he was like a bulldog, fighting for us and what we needed to get things done. So we filtered things very carefully to ensure we didn't raise issues that we could take care of ourselves.

    He viewed himself as our "coach", not our manager. He let us blow off steam being silly and joking around, because he knew the work itself was not interesting enough to keep us entranced. He fought senior management, who wanted to "reign us in" and quiet us down.

    Part way into the project, he found himself with basically nothing to do because everything was running so efficiently. He joked that he had the most efficient, defragged hard drive ever seen.

    At one point, we had a conference call with our sponser, who implored the importance of finishing up a certain package of work by a certain date - so the VP could earn his 6-figure bonus. Our manager visibly cringed at the mention, because he knew how stupid a statement that was. At the end of the "motivational" conference call, I turned to him and said, "For that asshole, I quit. For YOU, I'll be here Saturday morning." And he thanked me, and told me that he really appreciated that.

    There was one guy who wasn't pulling his own weight. We didn't have to say or do anything, because he noticed and straightened him out, quietly and effectively. I don't even know how.

    At the end of the project, every one of us went to HR and said, "We want to stay together and tackle the next project together. We love working together, and we get shit done." So, of course, we all ended up on different projects, and I left for another job shortly thereafter.

    Make your people comfortable with a good compensation package. Then, find good managers. They are rare. Most of them grovel to their management, and spout bullshit in both directions whilst trying to figure out how to get themselves bonuses so they can upgrade their sports cars or install a bar in their basement. Find a manager who takes the side of his team, and stands up to senior management, because you know you've got someone who's interested in having a great team working for him.

  149. An Amaziing Place by LifesABeach · · Score: 1

    Um, I didn't see the name?

  150. Depends by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Hi

    It really depends on the teams and what your company is offering.

    Minimal, an employer should offer

    Pay wages based on skills and not location.
    Overtime paid and or can be put in bank for future vacation.
    A room to relax, couches and chairs and not near the cafeteria.
    Employers than focus on people's skill and not just a yes MAN attitude that accomplishes less than most of the rest.

  151. Mix it up by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    There is as many have said no one size fits all solution. Yes almost all will respond to money, but if the budget is such that the money turns into a 25$ gift card then you are wasting your time. If the team is living at or below their present needs.... lets say sole provider for a family of four a $25 gift card will not even get them all a real dinner a night at the movies or a ballgame. So the first question for any money based incentive needs to be can the company afford to put aside a meaningful amount to the person getting it?

    Lets say you have a couple departments a head count of 40 people and $1000 to spend. If the average person is making say 65k a year anything less then about 250 is not going to mean a great deal to them. They won't turn it down, but they are not going to go bonkers over it either. If you live in an area of high unemployment or low opportunity you also need to understand that whatever you give in "money" you are likely giving to the family and not just the person. You might go with a 250 a quarter employee of the quarter award you might go with say one 500 annual bonus award based on performance with a couple of smaller team awards...(i.e. 100 or so to a couple departments for a team event). Or you may have to go with an employee of the year and give it all to one person.... Look at who you have what you have to spend and what they make as well as the economic realities of the team's income and life situation before you make any choices around money rewards. Yes everyone will love a gift card here and there and if that is what you can afford then that will be the monetary component of the program. If your going to give less then what it might take to reasonably reward the folks on your team given the economics of what you have to give and what they need then money is not a good answer.

    A couple other key points on money. I would always take what you can get for sure and not what you might get if things go well. What I mean is a preformance program should focus on what the individual did not what the company is doing at any given time. Leave that sort of money to HR and a total comp package.

    Same with the overall amount. If you are playing with more then a point or so of total anual comp you are not talking about a performance plan your talking about changing peoples compensation. Give a 5k bonus to a guy making 45k a year and you have reset his expectations of what he is worth and what he should make. If everyone make around 40-50k you have also now put a target on your back to boot. 1-2 points of annual income as an average of the team would be about where I would max out, even if it means spreading the money you have around a bit more its better then the alternative.

    Comp time can be a good tool to help level the playing field amongst those that go above and beyond and those that do not. The person who works the weekend, or consistently stays late to help out and make sure things get done needs to know that you are aware of it. As others have stated sometimes just an honest talk as in "I noticed you have been here 2 Saturdays this past month, take a long weekend on me.... say this coming Friday/Monday and catch up with your family" It promotes better work life balance and it says you actually do understand who is doing more. If you play it right it can be a very useful tool to reward those that go above and beyond. Put it in writing and its something they can use down the line as a reference about the quality of their work, which again matters to many as much as the comp time will. I would tend to set a budget for yourself or your management team.... maybe 5-10 comp days per year per department max. If you are using more then that or giving them all to one person you are likely either really short staffed or have other problems.

    Education, training and travel. Again depending on your business and what folks do they will likely respond well to any training opportunity. Same with travel and time out of the office. This can however be a

  152. simple by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    pay them well; treat them nice

  153. Why is this even a question? by SuiteSisterMary · · Score: 1

    Money. People work in exchange for pay. Want more work? Provide more pay. FFS. "Hi, I have a bunch of programs that all scale to processor speed. How can I make them run better? More ram? Better sound card? Awesome lights on the computer chassis? Let them set the desktop wallpaper?"

    --
    Vintage computer games and RPG books available. Email me if you're interested.
  154. LUCKY by freddysmith81 · · Score: 1

    Woah! I'd love a cake and massage day at my work! Sounds like they've got it lucky

  155. Plenty of good advice here, but don't forget by Provocateur · · Score: 1

    There is plenty of good advice here, and well worth using. Whatever you decide to do, don't EVER ask for the TPS reports.

    --
    WARNING: Smartphones have side effects--most of them undocumented.
  156. Drop the cake day and corporate message day... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ..seriously, it sounds like a horrible place to work. Corporate message day? WTF? This is straight out of Office Space. Kill it. Work shared equally? Guess what? It never is. Talk to you employees and ask them who does most of the work. They know who the slackers are. Fire the slackers. Profit sharing? Has anyone actually shared in this profit? How many options do the developers have and how many does management have? If as a developer I'm not going to get rich, I'm certainly not going to help management get rich either. I've seen companies where the management made millions and the developers had 2,000 options if they were lucky which would have made them 30k at most...and they worked 70-80 weeks...until they found other jobs and the company eventually went bankrupt. How about some real profit sharing? How about flex time? Work from home? Vacation, can they take it without getting an earful? How many hours a week do they work? Do they get overtime? Do they get any perks like food, drinks?

    1. Re:Drop the cake day and corporate message day... by Diss+Champ · · Score: 1

      Too bad there isn't a "poster can't read" mod option.

      The summary said "corporate massage day" not "corporate message day".

      As someone who works at a place where they do have someone come in to do massage once a month, I think this is a great perk.

      That said, if the place is small enough that folks will feel their individual contributions make a difference for the company then options are a good long term incentive.

      Identifying slackers properly only works if that is what actually happens. But most layoffs seem to do things in the wrong order- you have to start with thinning management layers down which is very very hard to do right, since the very people you need to get rid of are usually the ones with the skills to do office politics well without contributing to company success. There are two reasons to start with management- first, it's much better for employee morale. Secondly, the folks you need to get rid of in management will tend to keep the wrong employees.

  157. Advancement system by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Just some context before I am deemed conservative; I am a queer punker that participates personally in various anarcho projects to improve the rights and conditions for the marginalized. I strive to change things, not conserve things.

    A system where one has to register time to activities can have benefits. When it is combined with managment approven estimations it results in deadlines for any activity. Time allocation should be free for the individual developer though; where and when a part of an activity is done does not matter, as long as the activity is performed within the agreed constraints.

    A backlog can be valuable; there should be plenty of tasks for all developers. According to their individual time plans they can perform activities that pertain to the different tasks at their liasure. There should be only their personal downtime. Respect that downtime though; we are not machines, and this is mental labour. Getting a breath of air while thinking is as productive, if not more productive, than hitting ones head against the keyboard repeatedly.

    Measure individual performance based on some key indicator, such as quality, time to market or whatever makes sense for your company. (In terms of the software delivered) Include measurements for team work if you deem that important. Maybe even social activities. If measurement is less than previous year, talk about what went wrong - continuous failure can mean less pay or replacement. If measurement is higher, increase payment. Base the measurement to the payment already recieved - when one advance, one should perform even better than the previous step that one advanced from in order to advance again. It's a career grind!

    Tell the developers how the advancement system works. Tell them the math. They're building logical machines every day - the chance that they will understand and take advantage of the system is high. This is my personal opinion - I hate measurements using unknown indicators; how do I know how my actions should be when the system has unknown variables? (Yes I am a nerd; that is why I am hired! Hacking computers since childhood should be a great credential!)

    Avoid monitoring and controlling the developers; use agile development methods for example. If they benefit from delivering high quality, then they will deliver high quality. Remember to look on quality on a system level though; the whole system should be high quality, not just the parts. Focus on a system level should encourage collaboration as indiviual success is determined not only by an individuals actions but that of their combined effort. (But remember to look at those who made the most or the best parts of said system)

    I refuse to believe in the concept of equal load. None are equal. We have different mindsets, skills, educations, experiences and lives. The concept of socialism can be damaging for high productive people - I believe in anarcho responsibility instead.

    01 REDEFINE REALITY. ABEND.

  158. Management or lack thereof by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Get rid of the asshole managers (yes, you know who I mean). I would rather get less and work for a good manager than get a lot and have to put up with a bad one.

  159. all about the $$$$ by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    make deadlines. Yes, I get that they are arbitrary and if the work isnt done, then the work isnt done. But it cuts their goofing off down because there are times where they are free to play, and times where they have to work late into the night to catch up. It balances...

    As incentive... raises. Never forget why we are here. Find a way to gauge performance, and gives raises based on that. You _will_ see an improvement. Too many companies forget about the reason we employees are here. Not because we care about you, or the company, but because we get paid.

  160. SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!! by tompaulco · · Score: 1

    Next article.

    --
    If you are not allowed to question your government then the government has answered your question.
  161. extra PTO by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    extra PTO is always my favorite motivator. We put in a lot of overtime, getting a bit of family time back is always nice!

  162. Girls, Girls, Girls... by Baldrson · · Score: 1
    Why not state the obvious?

    Oh, was that SEXIST of me?

  163. Overthinking the problem. PAY THEM WELL. by trdrstv · · Score: 1
    My dad worked for a company that payed 10% above the market for every position. Executives, IT, engineers, clerical, janitors, etc ... EVERYONE. What this did was improve quality, drastically reduced turn over, and every job opening got thousands of applicants, you pick the best and then things tend to go smoothly.

    People care more, work harder and longer hours when they know they are being paid more than they can get elsewhere. It's really just that simple.

  164. Re:Obligatory...Redux by cdwiegand · · Score: 1

    Vacations: Vacations should begin with a 2 week minimum, and increase with the time vested with the company. Not only does it help employees let off steam and recuperate away from the company, but it will also help the company to discover weaknesses in the overlap in employee skills. It will also serve to remind employees that they are not irreplaceable. No one in a corporation, from janitor to CEO is irreplaceable. (Emphasis mine)

    And force employees to TAKE IT. I had 3+ weeks of vacation, but really didn't have much of a change to take it until towards the end of my career at my previous job. I'm now one week into my new job, and about to take a week off, and the managing partner is insisting I take it. That is awesome.

    --
    . Define sqrt(x) as something really evil like (x / rand()), and bury it deep. Watch your coworkers go nuts.
  165. Professionalism by scamper_22 · · Score: 1

    1. Make sure your pay is 'good'. Once that is taken care of, move on to the ones below as they are typically under used in most companies

    2. Working under 'great' people and doing things properly is something most of tech workers, like all professionals, like to do. So provide a professional incentive. Have mentor programs. Have your 'top-guns' take take someone under their wing. Now for this to work, it is important not to then layoff people once someone else is trained or view it as people not doing work. Most of tech work is simply paying for the knowledge of people. If they know how to do it and do it right, things will run very smoothly and efficiently.

    Cake day, massage day, pizza day, picnic day... are all largely ignored by most people. Many of us view it very cynically too.

    Engineers/sysadmin people are typically not treated as professionals and so they typically don't act as professionals. I'm don't know, nor do I care which came first. It's just the way it is.

    That is the main change you need to install to truly have them be great to customers and great for the company.

  166. Easy. CA$H. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    'nuff said, right?

    Here's other ways:

    How about picking up the tab for cell service and home internet service, since most likely everyone in technology does some amount of work related stuff from their personal cell / personal internet.

    CA$H bonuses are king. And do the Gross-Up thing too, if you must, for tax purposes. In other words, if I tell you I'm giving you $5,000, with taxes, you'll likely get about $3,200 of it. If I do a Gross-Up bonus, I tell you I'm giving you $5,000, but I'm actually booking it at about $7000 so that you walk away with $5,000.

  167. Incentive Programs by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I have a fundamental problem with incentive programs, namely that you already get paid to work, so why should you get extra? I can understand bonuses and such, but the "points plans" that I have seen implemented at different places (large and small) often are more of a source of consternation than productivity gain. for example "project teams" and "Stars" programs. On several occasions, teams who were not remotely related to or had any part in developing solutions retroactively "suggested" technologies which were already either in production or in the works, and were awarded vast sums of points/cash. while the people who created the solutions (and were widely known to have so) received nothing. Personally, one of the solutions I created (which was even submitted for a US Patent) resulted in a "team" (of which I was not part) being awarded a MAX Award of over $8K per team member.
    I later received $100 as "implementer" of the suggestion......I worked with two others in the conception creation and deployment with no input from anyone on the team who "got the money"! This happened to many others as well. I told the program administrator I'd NEVER cash the points in and didn't over the 2 year course of the program.
    It was a management attempt to stimulate communication and creativity which degraded into a "good old boys and girls network" of exploitation.

    If anyone ha a program that works, my hat is off to them. But in my opinion to attract and retain talent, you should provide a good work environment, culture of trust and respect, and fair compensation packages. that is how to really establish a productive workplace, not through "bribery to do your job".

  168. 72 virgins by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    seems to work for other organizations

  169. Holidays by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Mine get 4 weeks a week paid leave.......not including sick leave (with a doctors note)
    No complaints thus far and been in Bus for 2 years
    before anyone asks max of 2 weeks at a time

    have fun all

  170. Not that hard by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Good projects, non-stupid bosses, and cash. No one wants to be given busy work. No one wants to work for an idiot boss. People like money. There are certain things that make the job easier: good documentation/resources, fast hardware, good ergonimics (chair/desk), light/heat/air, a calm friendly efficient work environment with realistic expectations, work that stays at work (and not in someones home at 3:00 AM), weekend which means end of the week. Things like coffee are not just useful but also a boost. A 'programming' culture is also helpful. Forcing programmers into suits and ties might look good, but I have always programmed best in jeans/golf shirt. A tie is something that is used to stop the flow of air to the lungs and blood to the brain. It has no other use. It should have been declared a workers compensation hazard in the workplace 100 years ago. Why it still exists is unknown.

  171. Profit? by dragonflea · · Score: 1

    You're assuming that all "companies" are for-profit and are making money. What about non-profit organizations or those companies that are underwater financially?

    1. Re:Profit? by DrLang21 · · Score: 1

      I'm not saying that profit sharing is the only solution, but the spirit of it is.

      First, for companies who are not making a profit, they can provide stock options. Many startups retain competent talent for bargain wages by offering this gamble. I used to work for a rather large company who did this when they fell on hard times for a number of years. In the end, those who stayed on board made out like bandits when the company turned itself back around. After that, the company started profit sharing. When I was there, most people were very interested in the quarterly meetings that went over company performance.

      Non-profts would obviously need a solution other than profit sharing. None come to my mind, but I'm sure that many creative executives could figure out a way to tie whole organization performance to everyone's yearly bonus without putting a drain on the organization's mission. They're a challenge by their very nature that any bonus is going to eat into their mission. Generally non-profits pay less.

      --
      I see the glass as full with a FoS of 2.
  172. As a consultant... by Burning1 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    As a consultant, I've had the opportunity to see a lot of different environments over the past 10 year or so. Here are the things that stand out to me the most:

    First and foremost, get your shit together. No amount of workplace benefits will make up for a dysfunctional working environment. You can offer the worlds best benefits, but if people are stressed out at work, and constantly beating their heads against the wall to get things done, they aren't going to want to work there.

    That will tend to attract people:

    1. Competitive salary, and benefits. This is basic. You may have a fully stocked snack bar, but ultimately, people want work to support the rest of their lives. Fun environment, cheap wages works great for the people who are new to the industry. Vets are probably more interested in a competitive employment package.

    2. Growth opportunities. Promoting from within, offering opportunities to people who have the passion and talent, but perhaps not every bullet point on the job listing, is a good way to get up and coming talent in the door. If someone thinks that your company will take their career the way they want it to go, they are much more likely to want to work with you.

    3. Training opportunities. Certifications, etc. can be time consuming and expensive. A good educational program is a great way to keep people at the company, and also to upskill your employees. This is a great selling point.

    4. Opportunities to pursue ideas. Having a lab, or equipment dedicated to trying new stuff is also a good way to attract and maintain talent. Anyone who has passion has a technology they want to get their hands on. Virtualization makes offering this easy. Giving people the opportunity to sell and prove their ideas is huge.

  173. Employers are customers, employees are vendors by gregor-e · · Score: 0

    It is time to get rid of the worn out notion that an employer is somehow responsible for the welfare and productivity of the workers. In reality, the employer purchases services from vendors it calls employees. In the rest of the capitalistic market, it is usually the vendors who are coming up with sales, coupons, discounts and other incentives to motivate customers. This paradigm should be extended to include service vendors who are now termed employees. If workers were required to incorporate and provide services on a 1099 basis, their relationship to their customers would become much clearer. Vendors who are motivated and productive will tend to attract more customers and better contract terms. A transparent reputation system that allows customers to rate vendors just as sellers on eBay are would help everyone to employ service vendors with confidence. Right now, hiring is like buying a pig in a poke. Customers can only glimpse at the impression a vendor creates through their resume and interview. With a public reputation to maintain, vendors would be conscientious and customers could contract vendors with confidence. We could then be rid of all the silly 'benefits' and 'holidays' and other crap that really has little place in a vendor-customer relationship.

  174. Get rid of management by overmoderated · · Score: 1

    They are too costly, cause too much stress and contribute close to nothing.

  175. Uninteresting projects by phorm · · Score: 1

    You mix them in with the interesting stuff, or - if you have enough variety of employees - assign them to somebody who finds them interesting.
    If they're repetitive and redundant, make a project out of automating them!

  176. Re:Are you a fucking idiot? The answer is simple.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Beautiful

  177. Halle Berry. by DarthVain · · Score: 1

    I believe Halle Berry gave Hugh Jackman some "incentive" during the movie Swordfish...

  178. Flexible hours and alternative work weeks by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    My current contract only requires that I work 8 hours a day M-F, but does not have a hard set rule on what those hours must be. As a result I can come in anywhere between 7 an 10 and leave after i've put in my 8 hours for the day. I can leave early if I want or stay late and get paid overtime based on workload. It's VERY RELAXING not having to worry about my commute since if I get to the office half an hour later than I had intended to I just stay an extra half hour. No questions asked, no approvals needed.

    The one thing I wish I had were alternative options for the work week such as working from home or working 4 days a week, 10 hours a day.

    One last recommendation = music, nothing worse than a boring office where the only noise is coming from the air conditioners in the data center and people chatting on their cellphones.

  179. How About Transparency? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I wish my firm had "Transparency Day." A day for setting the political bullshit aside, calling a spade a spade, and speaking truth to power. Just one day where employees are allowed to ask their managers the questions that are painfully obvious but never brought up due to fear of retaliation, and managers are obligated to actually answer the questions as honestly as possible, without sidestepping the issue or answering with marketing jargon.

    For example, then I could ask, "In our company handbook, it states that [My Employer] is committed to having compensation match the work put in. How do you reconcile this with the fact that my boss is paid five times as much as anyone else here yet works only 25-30 hours each week?" without getting fired. And receive an answer!

    I would, in all seriousness, gladly take a 5% cut in salary in return for that.

  180. Best incentive? CASH by CrabbyAmerikan · · Score: 1

    Plain 'ol money, honey.

    --
    Republicans suck.
  181. its all about $$$ by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Spot bonuses
    Free food (breakfast, lunch and dinner)
    Free cell phones with corporate plan (or at least pay for the service - if phones are too costly)
    $ tied to product deliveries

  182. Free time is paramount by evilviper · · Score: 1

    I worked for a startup, where the CEO was big on "play", and so tried every incentive in the book... We had pool tables, game consoles with a large assortment of game, and more, and out of hundreds of people, and several years' time, NOBODY EVER TOUCHED ANY OF IT.

    When your workplace is a death march of always too much to do, and never enough time to do it, despite everyone putting in plenty of overtime, then expect your employees to be miserable. If you pay them enough money, they'll stay around for a while despite the horrible conditions, but anyone who can make a decent salary elsewhere will leave pretty quickly.

    To be fair, the free food and sodas, and rather frequent BBQ lunches and food trucks were utilized quite a bit, but these things are all bandages on a gaping wound, if the company is an unpleasant place to work.

    --
    Slashdot gets worse every day... Pipedot: News for nerds, without the corporate slant
  183. money by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    might be a key factor ... dont you think most ppl on average just do the job. if you want the real big guns you're gonna have to adapt since those people tend to choose i.o. to be chosen, how about talking and asking what they want ?

  184. Re:Actual pay for overtime, and Prototype Developm by Envy+Life · · Score: 1

    I like this, I believe they are the only two items that are relevant: pay for effort, and allow creativity. Anything more complex than this is misguided fluff.

    I'm a strong proponent of hourly pay.. go ahead and roll up all the "benefits" that a normal employee would get (401k, vacation, insurance, bonuses) and give it to me in an hourly rate. Accounting becomes very simple. The incentive to an employee is more hours or a higher hourly rate, no more complaints for working overtime, and if the rate is good, the employee won't be looking around like a transient contractor.

    It's no secret that companies maximize profits by paying labor rates as low as they can, so bonus money implies companies purposely hold back a portion of salary to hold over the employee's head on a regular basis to get them to work extra hours. If it is truly corporate profit sharing, it's always a small fraction of the actual profits, so let's not kid ourselves and pretend owners actually distribute all their profits, because, frankly, they don't have to. What they do need are dedicated employees that are happy to stick around and work for their pay, it's more efficient to retain people, so it's worth paying better than market rate for good employees.

    In contrast to owners, IT workers are in it because they are technology professionals--they like the work; they like to problem solve. The other important aspect is to keep the work interesting. Any employee stuck in a maintenance job is going to be a clock watcher. Any employee that has truly interesting and creative work they enjoy will put in extra effort because they enjoy it. Many companies simply do not have this available, nor can they make it available, so that puts even greater empasis on the hourly pay.

  185. Most Important Incentive - Autonomy by stevenddeacon · · Score: 1

    Autonomy ... 1) Give me a problem statement 2) Give me the freedom to determine approaches to solving the problem 3) Freedom to design a solution with minimum constraints 4) Freedom to gain access to valuable resources of personnel and technologies to construct the solution with minimal restrictions 5) Freedom to build the team to provide the solution 6) Ensure minimal interference in pursuing the developing of the solution 7) Accountability based on results 8) Support with minimal restrictions

  186. Slashdot, I am disappoint by mcmonkey · · Score: 1

    Tops on the list has to be the hot chicks room.

    And that's actually a pretty good answer for the following question, "What Would You Include In a New Building?"

  187. TIME OFF + your job won't vanish while you're gone by RubberDogBone · · Score: 1

    How about promising to let people have time off and also promise that they won't return from their time off to find that their desk is gone along with their job?

    How about that?

    I mean, it's JUST a promise so it can be as totally worthless as any other benefits promise made by an HR flunky so really, they should have no trouble making a promise like this. It means jack shit.

    This scenario has not happened to me, yet. I went on a quite expensive trip one year and found out the company had been sold about an hour after my plane landed in paradise. Cryptic phone messages that I'd better call the office. All I got was a totally ruined vacation due to wondering if I would be able to pay for any of it. hahaha.

    But a lot of people got canned and a pattern developed where you'd see someone take a week off and his/her team would be tasked to produce the same results down a man or woman, and when they did (because they were scared for their jobs) the person on vacation was made redundant. Happened quite often.

    The result is that the remaining workers are terrified to take time off. I myself blew away three weeks of time last year because I was already at vacation max due to tenure and could not carry over any more time off. Sucks. And they won't cash out time off, either. Your choice is to use it and risk your job, or lose it.

    And they complain about people not taking time off and have now decided to give us one more paid holiday off and a mandatory unpaid volunteer day off. Any resemblance to community service time due to penalty of law is purely in the imagination of the employees.

    --
    Sig for hire.
  188. Re:Actual pay for overtime, and Prototype Developm by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    - Prototype Development - two thumbs up - and recognition, particularly of difficult solved problems.